I've discovered what Kundalini is, and I would like to awaken her within my body. I have always had a very strong inner Genius, a voice of concience, that has held me to very high standards, but the road is difficult. I feel as though activating Kundalini within my life would equip me with strength to live as my higher self would have me live. I also feel that my curiosity and thirst for knowledge has brought me to this place, this desire for Kundalini. And I do not believe in coincidence.
I have begun practicing Pranayama, and would like to activate Kundalini, but I want to do it right. It is not that I am afraid to feel its power, but I do not want to do something wrong and become psychotic. I am not confident that I can find a Kundalini Guru where I live.
Should I continue meditating with the intention of awakening Kundalini? I am patient -- I do not need it immediately. I do not especially desire any of the special powers (clairevoyance, telepathy, etc) either. I feel that I am a virtuous man -- 19 years old, I do not lie much, I do not sleep around, I don't drink excessively (although it's hard to not drink in college), and I smoke weed occasionally (once a week?).
Bottom line: I want to feel the Kundalini energy, but do not want it to destroy me from activating it when it should not be activated. Should I continue trying to awaken it, trusting that when it is time to awaken, it will awaken?
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Another question -- What is energy work? How do I activate a chakra? Just focus intently on it and visualize it filling with the Light?