Red Arrow's MAP Journal

[Red Arrow]

This first entry was previously posted, however I wanted to include it here to keep track of events that have occurred while using the MAP approach:

From Jan 17, 2010
So last night I had an interesting event occur, and darn if I can really discern what it exactly was happening. Its as if the event was a weird blend of lucid/astral, with a split between what my etheric body was feeling astrally, and my mind having a lucid dream, if that makes sense. I've experienced astral and lucid aspects since a child, but never something like this from what I can recall. Being that I'm using R Bruce's techniques to fine tune my astral journeys and make them more conscious, I'm not surprised! :wink: For clarity, I'll put in bold my etheric body, and my physical self in colored font.

I was having a hard time going to sleep, and as I often do I was running energy, stimulating secondary aspects, doing a 'bounce' through my body, etc. This went on as I kind of faded slowly into a state for an hour.
As time went on, I realized that I was in a trance state. Not yet asleep, but body relaxed and mind floating - excellent! At one point I realized that something was shifting (the memory of what exactly is hazy now, but it felt like a shift in planes and energy, though not in my body but in the atmosphere around me), and I decided to begin envisioning that I was climbing a rope out of my body. I had also just that night been reading more about this in AD, so the suggestion was fresh.

There's a blank from there until I realized I - again, it felt like my etheric self now- was standing in my kitchen. I did not feel to be in a physical body, much like I was a ghost, no form, a small bit of consciousness floating there and observing? As I'm becoming aware of what is going on, I'm feeling that I'm bouncing myself up and down rapidly. It was intense sensation of an imminent lift off, and I was thinking "Here I go!" I was certain that I was about to project at any moment and shoot upwards.

Meanwhile,
As my etheric body is feeling this sensation, again it seemed as if my mind (?) was watching the environment in my kitchen. Suddenly, in physical form I came walking around the corner! (And oddly, I looked more like I did a few years ago) My etheric self for some reason had this compulsion that if I could only communicate with ...me?...it would better enable the projection. I reached out and touched her/me as she/I walked past - in a hurry to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I gather? A sense again of a dam about to break and that I would 'push through' was building as I still felt I was 'bouncing.' But it felt...creepy, in terms of that I was attempting to touch myself (somewhere in me, my mind was jarred by this).

Suddenly, my youngest across the hall cried, and I was jolted awake and into my body. After checking on her, I walked out and through my kitchen to go to the bathroom, and had the uneasy feeling of a sense of 'something' there, though like a residue.

What the heck? Looking over this, I would think hadn't I already projected? Is it possible that I had and was lingering in my home? Was the bouncing pressure/release I was feeling that I was about to leave the RTZ? And oddly enough, this felt almost like... traveling moments into the future, for lack of a better way to explain it (This sounds wacky, but then again I truly believe time is non-linear). The one odd thing was that I looked like my self from a few years ago and the aspect of seeing "me" had felt very much like a lucid dream waltzing into the astral plane. Overall, there was a distinct sense of astral atmosphere here, mingling with flow of lucidity as well, as if to rivers crossing paths?? (The differences for me are sometimes very subtle, but this was clear. they are two sides of the same coin, in essence...)

NOTE: after discussion and checking info in the MAP book for clarity, I feel that I was in the RTZ, in my RTBody and about to go astral. There was an odd interference with a mind-body split.

[Red Arrow]

Practices I've been doing since November:

I am once again using my Dream tests: throughout the day I check my hand, specifically the palm, and ask "Am I dreaming?". If I do not see a blue energetic pentacle emerge, I state "I am not dreaming" (this is my cue I've used for over a decade, works very well when I actually do it. :wink: The AD book has got me all charged up so I've started using it again - in case anyone has not tried such cues, Bruce is right: they work very well to induce a lucid state, for instance . Do try it!) Sometimes I also will try and push my hand through the wall. If I cannot, I state "I am not dreaming."

I have been raising energy specific for this work most consistently at night as I lay in bed (I do other energy raising many times a week as well, as per my spiritual and meditation practice). With two kids, I find it hard during the day, though going forward I am going to do it more often.

In general, I feel energy through each of my toes (as if they are 'highlighted' with the energy, and I am waking them up), then draw the 'stirring' actions on each bottom of foot, I do this separately then simultaneously. I then either brush or sponge the foot, as well as draw energy bands around my knees, and then I return to the tip of my toes and pull the energy all the way up and to the base subnavel energy storage area. I then go to my hands, and do the same. Once I have pulled energy to the subnavel area from both the feet and hands, I then begin doing variations of things: I usually begin to do a full body circuit quite a few times, but at least three, always.

I then start the bounce back and forth -- a few times from feet to top of head, and also time spent bouncing through my spine. I also, as with last night, will bounce to the space above my head and beyond my feet. The bounce in my spine for some reason seems to REALLY stimulate my core energy in the subnavel. It is definitely a 'key' for me - I'm curious what others find to be very productive for them?

As of late, I am beginning to feel very strong sensations of an intense cool warmth when I do these practices. And I am consistently feeling a strong gathering of energy in my subnavel area, almost like a comforting swirl of energy that is tingling, and this distinct cool warmth. This last week, I began to feel a slow flushing upward into my heart area, as if my subnavel is overflowing. This does not happen every time, but more and more.

(Worth noting: the last month or so, I've been having some intense third-eye headaches (!). Last week it lasted for a week, and I even often had a red spot noticeable on my forehead, my chiropractor mentioned it to me. Also, a very old chronic lower back pain returned. I am under the impression these are effects from other practices I'm doing, however I cannot help but wonder if combined all together my energy work was fueling these issues (this is another topic., but I have seen again and again that as the energetic body/ies develop and evolve, often the bones of the physical body need to adjust and acclimate to the changes as well). I backed off only a bit for a few days, and they have currently subsided. Curious to see if they return at all, as I am doing more energy work, and originally I was told by my Guides that it was due to something else.

Also, even though I am experienced running energy from other approaches, I have chosen to follow Bruce's structure: I am very slowly and carefully raising energy in the sub areas as he has instructed before moving forward to the primary areas. In my own experience, there are reasons that a teacher or mentor has cautions, and I've learned the hard way it is worth listening to them!)

To be Continued...

[Red Arrow]

Jan 31 2010

Last night, after reading some chapters in AD, I purposefully went to bed earlier than usual with high hopes and determination. I did my usual energy work,
and was feeling a lot of action happening (torso tingling, etc). At one point, I could swear that I was feeling a 'loosening' gathering up from my dense body, a sense of presence juuuuuust above my body laying in bed. However, I gather I fell into a wonderful deep sleep and if I did anything I have no conscious recall... :roll: I was awakened by my youngest around 1AM, went back to sleep. (I forgot to mention in previous posts, I also 'practice' pulling up out of my body and climbing the rope, as this feels very good to me. I'm a highly visual person, so sometimes I blend a mix of seeing it in my mind's eye and feeling it as well, to get started. With practice, though, I have learned how to only feel it if I focus, instead of relying on visuals. )

I woke up around 7ish, and after coming out to make sure my husband was able and willing to watch the kids, I went back to bed. I was awake, yet still groggy and rested (I am not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination.) I could have gotten up, but I wanted to take the opportunity to explore and see what would happen.

I went to bed and began the energy work just as I do at night. Again, the tingles and a sense of 'loosening'. I'm not sure what happened (well, obviously I fell asleep at some point!) but I am dreaming. I seem to have a real mind/body thing going on, I'd love some comments or insight. I have always had a very powerful 'monkey mind' which I work on letting go:

I'm dreaming, though it does not feel like a lucid state, just a normal dream -- but somehow, I know it is a dream?
I'm with a friend in her bedroom (not in RL, however) and she is to my left with her daughter, we are looking at clothes to donate. The clothes are on a chair to my right. somewhere I am feeling that sense of loosening again...that spinal bounce really works well...

I don't know how to describe this, because I did not at any point have the usual awareness of 'going lucid'; yet I was very 'awake' and clear what was happening. The atmosphere seamlessly became what I consider to be "astral". I sensed my 'hands' to be VERY heavy and I glanced down. I saw etheric hands lifting up off my hands on my body, and as I was laying down I was clear that 1) my physical body was in bed and 2) I was about to have an OBE. Good. With the shift in awareness, the 'dream' I'm in falls away. All my focus is on getting up and out.

I looked up and began to climb the rope upward, though I barely saw it at all, I could feel it. The atmosphere had a blue glowing cast to it, this is an energetic plane I work with and am comfortable in. The ceiling has carpet on it, and somewhere waaaaaay back in my mind I know this is not my own room, nor one I actually know, but it doesn't matter. I am in a dream, and I am going to project out of it. I see my hands briefly - as blue energy - as I climb upward with a bit of work, I hit the ceiling, even pushed it with my hand, but it was as if I was not quite 'strong' enough to get it through (Note: this is fascinating to me, because my hand NOT going through usually would have pushed me further into a dream state - but I was clear where I was and that was in an astral state. So it did not bother me or inhibit me in the least!). Hmmm. Dang. I flop downward but not all the way back into my body. I sense I am 'weak' or don't have enough energy (I wish I had thought to pull some from my reserve! Next time!) I am going to go for it again.

I look upward, and as I climb I focus all my intent on willing my self upward and out! It is working very well, I am lifting upward with ease, and up through the ceiling and the attic... as this is happening, I have various thoughts: check out the view as you pass through the ceiling, and look at this attic as you go, fascinating! AS this is happening, the 'image' of it all starts to flicker, like a TV screen when the shows have gone off? Instantaneously, or rather simultaneously, I have a thought "This is not my attic, it can' t be because the arch is opposite of what mine would be at". A part of me pushes this aside and doesn't care, it isn't relevant because we know we aren't in my house anyway -- let's go! Onward, upward!Look, I am cresting out onto the roof ! But another part (and I gather it's me back in bed) hooks onto that consideration that "this is not my house" and is curious just where we are, then...

BAM! I am in my bed, wide awake, eyes pop open. WOW! That was a trip!

Now, I don't know if it was instant, but the rush of upward and then suddenly being in my body and eyes wide open felt to be instant (by the clock I have been in bed for 2 hours, I don't know when I feel asleep or 'returned' into my body, for that matter). I had very clear recall of everything, and then as I was just going on reveling in it all, I could feel it slipping out of my mind, as if a tide pulling out to sea. (Worth noting: lucid dreams don't do this for me, they actually really linger and hang on once I wake up, and I have a habit of running a constant commentary in my dreams that helps me to recall in the waking. This whole event was different, again, in that I was not 'commenting' as if an observer, but as a participant. I hope this makes sense, it does to me.) I thought "wow, he is right about the shadow memory thing, this is fading away fast!" At that moment, I luckily thought to create keywords, sat up in bed and started repeating them over and over: Heavy, Hands, Ceiling, Attic...oddly, the residue of this event is not as strong as my recent previous one of being in my kitchen, even though twhen this was occurring it was so potent.


Usually, what has kicked me out of an astral state, or even lucid dreams, is that I get so excited it just blows me out (I'm a pretty exuberant, excitable person in waking life :D ).That seems to be subsiding, but now the mind is a bugger! Seems my mind is really overactive, I'm curious if anyone has any ideas? I am going to spend some more time meditating with a 'no-mind' approach, for one.

TBC....
Edit: just read a passage in AD, wherein he discusses the possibility of having a very believable exit event that is actually a dreaming of it. I don't want to believe this is what happened the other night, as it was so potent and clear. However, the after effect has me wondering. Because usually with an event like that, I have a certain kind of residual, distinct feeling/awareness memory of it. And this event does not have that, for instance, like my excursion previously into the kitchen. Hmmmmm....

[Red Arrow]

Feb 8 2010

I have finished reading AD officially, and was checking out Psychic Defense. As a side note, I really enjoy Bruce's writing. He is very knowledgeable, clear and has a style that makes you feel as if you are sitting down talking with him.

Anyway, I am very aware at how suggestible my mind is, so I tend to be cautious not to feed it negativity too much at once. Since it was right before I was going to bed, I decided to stop reading about things like possession and Negs (of which I've been reading up a lot on, since in my line of healing work there is the potential to meet up with these things more than usual - it's already happened more than a few times, in fact). Couple this with all the reading on astral wildlife, noises, dwellers, etc the night before and I was starting to overload. This in general is not bad information, it is important to know. I've never been scared to travel, and have not been as I've now been working towards conscious projection, etc. But darn if I didn't get a little freaked out last night.

Not much happened, but a lot of heightened awareness and sensations which I take as good work in general. I went to bed around 10:30ish, determined to at least experience lift off. I raised energy, which is only getting stronger and stronger (I had also made a point of doing this for a good 12 minutes earlier in the day, I'm making an effort to do this more and more) I'm noticing that I consistently feel this energy as a cool warmth, growing more and more intense and blooming upwards into my upper storage centers now. I'm hoping this may relieve the third eye headaches that I've been having so much of. They are lessening, but still return at odd moments, almost like a cork needs to pop and then it will be relieved. It came back last night, lightly, during all of this. I feel as if I'm exiting my body from the heart, and at one point I wondered what would happen if I tried to out of my third eye - again, I felt an odd sense that this might 'relieve' the pressure.

At some point, I thought I had not gone to sleep at all, however I began the descent sensations: my mind would suddenly snap into awareness and I realized I was 'nodding off,' 'slipping away.' This happens in deepening degrees, and I began to realize that my mind was wide awake, but my body was slipping into rest. Nice!

There were a lot of noises in general in the house last night, the washer came on in the kitchen, my husband was snoring next to me, the soft music in the room across the hall for the kids (a blend of favorite songs, from Stevie Nicks to Chopin, which I chose to focus on as it relaxes me), and noted that they all were very loud and clear, far more than usual. I wish I could clearly recall the flow of events here, but overall its the organic process that sticks with me: I could feel a 'charge' in the atmosphere, and I realized that my eyes felt wide open yet I also could feel physically they were closed. I was 'looking' and saw nothing but blue black night, my 'eyes' felt... cool and charged energetically. I sensed that I was about to begin a projection process, and realized I was calmly talking to myself: "Okay, I can feel the energy rising in my body, my double is gathering, good... good. Stay calm, yes..." This seemed to be intermittent with me losing consciousness here and there, and snapping back into vivid awareness and mindfulness. Each was deeper (meaning, my body more resting and my mind more awake) each time. I felt very at peace.

I focused on my body, bouncing as I have before as this seemed to really work well for me. But this time it was kind of like ...hmmmm, the energy moved very fast, but my attempts to do it felt like it was through a bit of a fog, just not working as well (occurs tome this may be an effect of the split as well. The energetic double is feeling the effects fast, but the body is slipping away from its influence...??). I felt as if I was on the verge this whole time of a mind/body split, and the anticipation was interfering. Then I realized there was a part of my mind that was starting to 'trip' a bit. "What will I do if I actually encounter a dweller? Would that freak me out? Because I know it can't hurt me, I know I'm safe, I've been out there before, I have allies, I know its okay..." that kind of thing. Crap! My 'monkey mind' was kicking in, meanwhile my calmer self was getting to work (what many call here the Higher Self, I work heavily with this and hear this aspect of Self in a particular tone, soothing and calm, whereas Ego self is kind of hyper and busy :wink: ) "All right now, you are fine. You know what to do, there is nothing to be concerned about..." in a very soothing, calm resonance. Then there would be a sound in the house or the music, and I would realize that all these sounds were really CLEAR and ...amplified? Fascinating. But that fascination would kick in the monkey/Ego! Aargh, and then I'd start worrying about all the 'what ifs' again...At one point, that calmness reminded me that I had my guide waiting for me, and that nothing would harm me. "If you need her, she is here waiting for you." But the monkey doesn't trust as readily, eh?!

Meanwhile, I'm feeling all kinds of energetic stuff in my body, and at one point I felt a distinct shift in my hands - this seems to be something that is becoming a cue for me. My physical hands suddenly grow VERY HEAVY. One of them felt is if it slipped, and something energetically had loosened itself from the physical glove within? Yet I knew (not sure how, but I did.. and that is a moment when I feel 'two minded' perspective, which I gather is the mind/body split beginning to happen?) that my physical hand had not actually moved. One part of me was curious as to how and why I felt so vividly AWAKE! And Whoa! What's going on, Cool!, and what's going to happen, what or who might be out there?! and yet another calm part of me was generating and preparing, calmly talking to me. My eyes again felt oddly open but still closed, and I could see a lush depth in the inky blue/blackness out there, though still not true 'sight' of any kind. I kept sensing that any moment I would see my rope and maybe my etheric hands, as I have before and was conjuring up to help the process along. But I did not.

A few times, I would be jarred back into my body and thought the spell would be broken - my dh shifted in bed, I needed to swallow saliva, I heard my child murmur and wondered if I needed to get out of bed. My mind would lock in and race with worries again, and I realized, yet again, I was a bit scared at all the possibilities out here of what could be waiting for me (this seem to come in degrees, just like the body falling into rest... not sure how to describe this. As if the ego was attempting harder and harder to get a grip) . I could feel this taking hold, and I'd be slipping, and then SNAP back to this amazing sense of being awake while watching my body slowly slip deeper into rest again. This was getting kind of frustrating, but I felt so close to something! I've had high hopes of consciously leaving and going to the tops of the trees in my nearby area, but I began to focus on just getting consciously out of my body, and that calmness in me murmuring that I would then jump right back in, so as to really benefit from all this effort and not lose it to the shadows. During all of this, I was having really strong sensations of the energetic body building up, like a wave in in my form and buzzing just above my physical body.

I was brought out of it when I felt a signal from my body of needing to use the bathroom that wouldn't go away. I went ahead and looked at the clock, to do a 'check' that I was not dreaming, and it was almost midnight. Wow. So this had been going on for well over an hour. Came back to bed and went to sleep.
So close, but no cigar.

[Red Arrow]

Feb 13 2010
I just purchased the MAP book. I was able to take time today to listen to the presets from the MAP CD for about 10 minutes, which greatly relaxed me. I haven't figured it all out yet -the presets and what not - but like the effects very much. Since I've already been doing a lot of the instructions from the AD book for a bit, I am bringing the two books together.

I then raised energy for another 15 min or so. Suddenly I felt a clear instruction from guidance to begin raising energy in my primary centers. I balked a bit, "It's not March yet!" as I had planned for that. The assertion was made again. I raised just a smidge in each, basically to get the ball rolling, see how it felt. Slight cool/warmth energy there. The session went well, though I did not have the usual strong visuals of color (eyes closed). There was flashing in my right eye, towards the upper right. This caused me to realize that somehow I seemed to be 'looking' more so from this place, so I focused a bit on 'looking' from my left (eyes closed). I added some of the elements from MAP, such as eye exercises. Spent some time as well calming my mind, breathing with attention and open mind, etc.

Feb 14 2010

Woke up by the kids around 630AM, got up and went to the bathroom, left them with my husband and went back to bed. I was in their room, opened the curtains and window directly across from me so as to not be too dark. It was raining heavily outside, overcast and gloomy. I began to raise energy as usual, and even worked a teeny bit with my primary areas. Really felt this, esp at root and crown - at the crown, by the time I had gathered energy up to there I felt literally a 'crown' of energy that seemed to encase my etheric body with tingling sensations (hard to explain). Felt very good. And protective, for lack of a better word.

Lots of minor distractions - the music, though very relaxing, was playing in the bedroom, for instance, and the rain... and the kids far off in the other room, etc. I think I have to just get used to doing this with 'house noise' going on, because there is always noise around here! I can let it distract me, or learn to work around it. I think it may help, actually, because then I'm not so surprised if there will be astral noises?

As before, I began to relax in waves, a layer deeper each time. I would be very calm and relaxed, with my mind not wandering and then I would snap a bit more clear, realizing that my mind had indeed wandered away and that I was going deeper into relaxation each time (or rather, my body was). I started thinking nothing would happen because it seemed to go on for so long, but then I began to feel slight buzzing in my body. I was able to stay calm, and even refrain from 'talking myself down'...I felt calm and clear, present and accounted for.

Then it happened. I was in the deepest point yet of almooooost falling asleep and I snapped in my mind to that state of crystal clarity, and felt my body humming...a BUZZ. I didn't quite hear this as much as strongly feel/sense/hear it; this buzz was delightful, not overwhelming. It was mostly all in my upper torso, and quite strong, like an auric ring around the form of my body. I felt my hands shifting, and as this is a cue for me I began to consciously bounce more and more...I could FEEL the weight, the DENSITY of my physical body-hands as my etheric body(double) pulled out.
WOW. Much stronger than ever before.
WOW.

There was a sense of separation with aspects of my mind, that I can't put my finger on, but it did not feel like the discord of mind/split...? This was more... simple, Ego v Self? Words fail me here, though I recognize it - it was not lack of egoic mind...just, the more clear mind, the high self has more room to express, as the ego seems to loosen as well...??? This felt like a very active meditational clarity.

(Note: I see how the Huna-based three souls awareness assist this work greatly. The reconciliation of the aspects as parts of the whole -Fetch, Talker and Godsoul - means it is not quite as disconcerting to experience all the "me's" that are reflecting on what is happening as I separate from dense body into etheric, astral. I really sense the Ego aspect with the body, and the ethereal clarity of the energy body/mind...Self... I note that at least for now, I feel a sense of being utterly safe in all realms, it is the Ego mind that starts to concern itself with safety, reality shifts, etc. I continue to muse more and more at how brilliant and intuitive Bruce's work is. His attempt to define, clarify and name specific aspects and energetic/body aspects, which up until now were like a crazy soup blended into one in my experience, all make sense. For now, I am discerning between body-mind which seems egoic, and etheric-self, which seems to be more akin almost to Godsoul/ "Higher Self".)

Oddly, I was not getting any visuals, however - ultimately maybe not bad in that I'm really experiencing the sensations. I attempted to see my hands and the rope, but that wasn't really happening. I willed that I wished to go outside my window, even for just a moment. But I was clearly feeling leaving my body, so I focused on the sensations once more. Suddenly, there appeared before me - or rather, rose up into my eyesight???- a large squarish 'lens' I could see through (I didn't think of it this way entirely, but this is how I'm explaining it. I did however note that there was a smudge on the lower right side and thought that was odd). My house appeared before me, and I was in this place - rather, I was feeling being in it, as well as 'viewing' it via the field/lens. It was not my house, however, but a version of it with the dark trim on the windows that I have wanted to paint, for instance, and a bit more complex architecture - and I "knew" this was how 'my' house appeared in this realm. This was almost like watching a flickering movie screen (not pronounced, but in hindsight similar, with a grain to it). I looked to my 'left' and saw that the houses on the opposite side of the street appeared to be more like the homes that are further up my street than the ones actually across from my home. This did not seem odd or unusual at the time, I felt an inner calm and was amused and utterly receptive to it all.

During this whole thing, and it began when I was leaving the body, I heard voices. As if outside my window, someone walking past (and somewhere in my body-mind I was clear that I would not be able to hear this through the rain, actually - luckily this did not distract or concern me, as etheric-self was curious and overriding it all. Good!) So I could hear this woman talking with someone, and as I'm there hovering in the street I think I'd like to move forward, I recalled Bruce's mention of being like in a chair and it did feel like this. I realized that as I willed myself to go towards the field and hills across from my house, I actually instead was moving away from them! I was looking out the back of my 'head'?! Is it possible that because I was not 'seeing' from my front that the view was through a "lens" of some kind, out the back of my head? (This all seems hilarious, since there is no real body there anyway! I took this all in - with a grain of salt and noted that I would need to continue to adjust my instrument, so to say.)

I heard the woman to my left, however, there they were walking by on my right, in front of my house. There was a guy with a beard sitting on some kind of cart/dresser? (The 'field' I looked through cut off their lower areas, and I was too busy with what was before me to try and shift the 'field' or lens downward to see more??) and this woman was walking carrying this thing with him on top (impossible in 'real world')... they both looked up at me, kind of irritated, like "What the heck? Whatever...". She really looked at me as they passed as if I was intruding. A thought escaped my mind "Am I naked? What do they see? Who are they?"

I live in a small village and everyone is familiar. They were not. I really got that this was the Real Time Zone...it was not raining, btw, but a strange cast of sunny light. Suddenly, I felt (no sight here, it was weird) I was in my body. I just knew that I was in my body, I gather?, and everything was black, no sight.

My inclination was to generate 'more energy' (I was musing over this) but then I thought "No, go fully into the body and I WILL REMEMBER ALL OF THIS!" I was INSTANTLY in my body completely, and going over the whole event. I felt very clear, awake and with total recall. As my body-mind/ego started attempting to process this, all kinds of questions starting coming up - fascinating to watch my mind attempt to examine and explain the experience. The sense of the etheric-self still was calm and serene, and felt to slowly give up its space ...over to the body-mind. By the clock, I had been in bed almost an hour and half.

Feb15 2010
Took some time this afternoon to raise energy while listening to one of the presets (meditation, no pulse, I believe). Love those. For whatever reason, I felt clear that I could exit (we had gone for a long walk on the beach with the kids in tow, everyone was sufficiently feeling groggy and relaxed). I went to our bedroom, and set up a new try: I laid against a bunch of pillows so I was propped up. Facing our window, gentle light coming in from the gray skies and late time of day.

I was raising energy, and really having a hard time focusing and relaxing my mind. I chalk this up to a very stressful day of discussion and arguments with my husband about potential financial hardships, etc. Very busy in there! So I had to work extra hard to calm my mind, though from the CD my body I noticed was relaxing RAPIDLY. The layer effect was happening, though everything was occurring much faster than usual (this was the first time I've done this while listening to the CD. Before, I've been sitting up in a chair and not at all intending to exit, just to raise energy and practice relaxation.) At some point, I realized that indeed, I was feeling a soft hum building around my upper body, esp my hands. I also noticed that my head must have slid to the side a bit, and this luckily snapped my mind to clarity. I began paying very close attention - so far it isn't growing old, the sensation of being in my body at some level of 'sleep' while my mind is acutely awake. It fascinates me.

I could feel the etheric-body building up, gathering and pulsing, and literally vibrating just outside my skin. Really strong! Meanwhile, my body-mind was not letting go as has happened before. I was intrigued and while I was calm, this was not the sense of serene letting go that gives way and seems to allow my etheric-self to 'take over.' I was waiting for a shift to occur, as all the signs that I'm coming to know where there - my hands were really humming and I could feel the density of my body, juuuuuuust about to give way. But ti wasn't. I focused more on raising energy, I tried many different ways. I started focusing my attention of bouncing from my head - front to back for awhile, then side to side. From wall to wall. I tried 'pushing' myself deeper into the bed and back up, I tried a lot of things!

Various outside noises were off in the distance, but the CD kept me very calm. I began to notice all kinds of things with my body - apparently, sitting half up causes me to have to swallow a lot? I could feel this odd thickness to my tongue, my throat, my mouth...I began to recognize that the sensations I had was differences between my etheric form and body, and that I was slightly separated from the dense body. That the position of my head was not how my actual head could be, that my tongue would seem to move on its own, forward in the mouth and then relax into the throat, I would feel an odd sensation like a potential itch on my body and watch it dissolve away - it occurred to me all the ways our bodies take care of us while the mind is asleep. I continued to try and let go and raise energy - but I think not only was I trying too hard, but I wondered in the back of my mind if someone would come and get me - kids needing me, husband wanting me to get dinner going or what have you. So instead, I tried to just witness what was happening in my body overall and not focus on the 'prize.'

During all of this, the body sensations would happen and I began to realize how relaxed my body was - maybe not 'asleep' enough? I don't know, and I could feel it go deeper and deeper ever so slowly. I laid for awhile and felt the hum of my 'etheric' form coming together just above my skin, and then at one point chose to firmly be in my body. It took only a few seconds to feel as if I could move my form, and then I focused on being present. By the clock, it had been about 45 minutes. So overall, combined with the CD playing my efforts worked far more rapidly.

[Red Arrow]

I have been keeping up with raising energy consistently, however over the last month I have not put focused effort on OBE's except on a few occasions. There has been a bounty of stressful events, one after another coming at my family for a few weeks in a row that took all my energy to handle. My monkey mind was/has been racing out of control worse than ever, attempting to navigate and control financial situations that are, simply, out of my control. There was a good two weeks there when my body was having immense physical reactions regardless of calm states I could reach via my meditation practices and insight from my guides, and Godself (my term for Higher Self). In response, I began taking daily doses of nervine herbs, and raising even more energy - this helped to 'even' me out quite a bit. Instead of feeling depleted or running on empty all the time, I at least felt I had fuel, though no reserves. (I liken it to another effect of high stress levels on the body - we burn far more Vitamin C at such times, and so I take high doses of it to compensate for the loss and hopefully keep the immune system strong. I was really experiencing every day how our energetic body does the same. I found myself daydreaming Wouldn't it be great if Dr's would give 'prescriptions' to make sure you raised your energy at least 3x a day ? :) ).

So, relevant to this work, I'm amazed at just how much energy is used by the body under stress. I mean sure - stress uses energy reserves. But intense stress is aggressively depleting, more so than I had imagined previously.

Despite all the stuff in my personal life, it has been fascinating to witness how my body responds as well as my subtle bodies. The few times I did attempt to exit, I just could not seem to raise energy beyond feeling that gathering of 'juice' juuust outside my physical form. Any kind of shift beyond this, that I have felt before, simply would not happen. I'd lay there and be feeling initial shifts and open to the next stage that usually came after specific sensations, and...then... nothing.

I'm feeling a bit better these days, so we'll see. I was enjoying the efforts and attempts, hopefully my body is not feeling as threatened or depleted now. (Which brings up all kinds of other topics in regard to this - is this the body's safety mechanism? Does one in general not travel at all, or much less during times of high stress? I'd be inclined to think that everyone is different, I'm not someone who usually subscribes to absolutes. It also makes me think about Neg's and the like - I could see how a person unknowingly could start trying to find energy from others, if they feel they are 'sinking' and don't know how to fortify their life force on their own, or someone who is already in the habit might really take it up a notch and be hard to be around )

[Red Arrow]

Sometime around April 24th:

I've not been much of anything lately, there has just been too much upheaval and stress in our daily life, coupled with a chronic back problem that rose up from my energetic work. I have been struggling with some very deep depression as well. This all is slowly easing up, however, and after some re-assessment and re-grouping, I am starting to feel newly grounded and energetic once more; my usual optimistic and positive nature is returning. I am slowly picking up where I left off...

The other night, I had an amazing experience. I awoke right at the point when my subtle body was about to exit. Instantly, automatically with no thought for it, I focused all of my consciousness towards my Third Eye (based on the exercises given in the book to practice 'looking' inwardly with eyes closed, towards the Third Eye. I do this very often with my meditations).

I felt this amazing, overwhelming energetic RUSH and ... bursting, a massive cosmic blossom! (Hmmm, this is harder to convey in words than I thought!) I suddenly felt as if "I" was floating in All That Is - with a profound sense of serenity and bliss. What I call Passionate Equanimity. I felt utterly AWAKE and in Union with the Universe.

This all happened in a matter of moments, and I apparently feel back into sleep/unconscious. In the morning, I had a sense of awe and peace. I feel extremely grateful for this moment.

[CFTraveler]

That's one of those things that make all this effort worth it.

[Red Arrow]

That's one of those things that make all this effort worth it.

So true!

[Jenn Lynn]

This is great stuff! I love reading about your work, I am currently psyching myself up for these activities again, so this is very inspiring. One thing I have discovered concerning energy depletion during high stress times in my life is the benefit of shutting the head down completely. It does WONDERS. Basically all I do is get myself fully relaxed and shut my mind down, I don't think about anything, no AP, no real world, zip. Just glorious silence in the mind. And then I let myself slip into that zone between sleep and awake, that space where you are just kind of floating and you are aware, but not thinking. Its not something I consciously started doing, but I noticed when I quieted my mind I would find myself in that place naturally about a week after practicing this, and I usually "nap" there for about 40 minutes. But when I come to, I have WAY more energy and calm than I would have if I had slept.

Also, in my very humble opinion (I know I may catch some heat), stop worrying about negs, you've got to let go of that fear. Trust that you won't be facing anything that you can't handle. Jung believed that anything we face in the dream realms that we perceive to be negative are our own constructions, so confronting and banishing them will certainly empower you. Something I've found to be effective is to make the home a safety zone, do a visualization every once in a while where you go through every room in your house and open all the windows and doors and intend that any undesirable energies exit immediately. And then close everything back up and conjure up lots of joys and peace and move through all the rooms again feel this in every room. Love your home :D This sets some pretty powerful protections, and allows you to have a safety zone to zap back to if you wander off and need a quick retreat.

OH and one more thing :!: Maybe you are doing this already, but I have found that a good way to get past all the excitement and monkey mind that thwarts your travels is to set a good target for yourself, pick an object or space in your home that you would like to go to, and really focus on getting to it. Since you are a visual person, this should work really well for you, you can set a powerful intention, just visualize the target in as much detail as you can. That way when you gain the awareness that you are projecting, this target should pop into your mind and you can just go right to it, no messing with exiting techniques. If you do try this, I would be interested to know if you experience any energy concentrations, I have noticed a few things and would love to compare notes.

I hope some of this can help!

[Red Arrow]

This is great stuff! I love reading about your work, I am currently psyching myself up for these activities again, so this is very inspiring. One thing I have discovered concerning energy depletion during high stress times in my life is the benefit of shutting the head down completely. It does WONDERS. Basically all I do is get myself fully relaxed and shut my mind down, I don't think about anything, no AP, no real world, zip. Just glorious silence in the mind. And then I let myself slip into that zone between sleep and awake, that space where you are just kind of floating and you are aware, but not thinking. Its not something I consciously started doing, but I noticed when I quieted my mind I would find myself in that place naturally about a week after practicing this, and I usually "nap" there for about 40 minutes. But when I come to, I have WAY more energy and calm than I would have if I had slept.

This is excellent!
I practice forms of Buddhist meditation to calm the mind, very similar to what you speak of. One involves resting in the moment between breaths. (I'm laughing -- do you have kids, Jenn? Mine are 3 and 6- my 'quiet time' usually means having a small child pulling on my ear lobe and whispering constantly into it "Maaaaama! Are you done yet?!") I don't usually really have private time until I'm laying in bed exhausted, ready to pass out. So this is a bit of a struggle. but when I can, I use this time very carefully to cultivate silence, yes.


Also, in my very humble opinion (I know I may catch some heat), stop worrying about negs, you've got to let go of that fear. Trust that you won't be facing anything that you can't handle. Jung believed that anything we face in the dream realms that we perceive to be negative are our own constructions, so confronting and banishing them will certainly empower you.


Hmmm, I guess this isn't as much of an issue for me - maybe the way I wrote of it made it sound like it is? It's is worth understanding and comprehending one's own set of 'fear's and potential projections of "neg's", weak spots in our vibration, etc. But personal trust is paramount, I agree.

My point was that I know I can be impressionable (esp during stress, this therefore is a known 'weak link" for lack of a better word) so I 'guard the gates' of my mind carefully. Some of what I wrote earlier was after days of reading negative information and I could sense it's effect. Our minds are like sponge's, all the more reason to know it well.

However, I have spiritual practices, guides and strong beliefs from personal experiences that speak to what you mention. I do not feel ultimately, in the divine state ("High Self" some call it) we are divided as such (good vs bad, etc), it is arguably a necessary illusion of the dense and human dimension - to grossly oversimplify it. I do shamanic healing, as well as altered states trance work, so the awareness of 'negative energies' come with the territory while mapping out one's Truth and helping others to do so. I put as much energy into them as needed for personal growth. (Hope that makes sense!) In my tradition, we call these things up and work with them, transforming them into allly's. But now I'm digressing into a different topic...

In part, I will say I was interacting with a person for awhile who was downright obsessed with Neg's, and it was jading me a bit.

So yes, Iagree - don't feed the fear! But know what to do with it and how to recognize it for what it is. :D



Something I've found to be effective is to make the home a safety zone, do a visualization every once in a while where you go through every room in your house and open all the windows and doors and intend that any undesirable energies exit immediately. And then close everything back up and conjure up lots of joys and peace and move through all the rooms again feel this in every room. Love your home :D This sets some pretty powerful protections, and allows you to have a safety zone to zap back to if you wander off and need a quick retreat.

Great idea, and thanks for sharing it, Jenn! Always good to have new ways to clear space.

I have found working with Violet Flame to be excellent for this also, as well as regular clearing of energy with specific herbs and resins. I come from a magical background, and therefore have wards,etc., also at work that I regularly use. Clients come to my house(er, ...and so do ghosts, psychopomp work), so I am very, very careful about it's safety and clarity of energy. As you articulate so well here, it is important to love our home! Make it THE safe place to land no matter the storms - or Neg's :wink: - we encounter.


OH and one more thing :!: Maybe you are doing this already, but I have found that a good way to get past all the excitement and monkey mind that thwarts your travels is to set a good target for yourself, pick an object or space in your home that you would like to go to, and really focus on getting to it. Since you are a visual person, this should work really well for you, you can set a powerful intention, just visualize the target in as much detail as you can. That way when you gain the awareness that you are projecting, this target should pop into your mind and you can just go right to it, no messing with exiting techniques. If you do try this, I would be interested to know if you experience any energy concentrations, I have noticed a few things and would love to compare notes.

I hope some of this can help!

This is a great idea. I've not tried the mapping out Bruce suggest (walking around, for instance, of where one might go?). Both of these I'd like to try. I tend to trust and follow my instincts, so the mapping I feel some resistance to as it feels constrictive. But having a target could be the best of both, you know? Yes, in particular because I am so visual...Hmmm...

Thanks, Jenn Lynn!

[Jenn Lynn]

Well sh**. you are awesome!! i should have been reading more carefully, the part where you talked about reading up on negs and possession snagged me. i think im just so used to people focusing on the fear that these topics generate and as a result saturating their minds with it, so this likely caused me to completely skim over your experience with these things. im good like that :D

and you are correct, i have no children (although 4 cats and a large man can break the serenity at times..), so i forget how this is a luxury for me. man, youve got some resolve. more power to you :)

AND it sounds like you got some fascinating experience.. i'd love to ask you a couple of questions, but i dont want to hijack your thread here. would it be ok to pm you?

[Red Arrow]

Well sh**. you are awesome!!

Awww. :oops: You're making me blush.

Seriously though - no more awesome than everyone else traveling this road and paying attenion, aye? I've found this forum to be pretty full of really wonderful teachers.



i should have been reading more carefully, the part where you talked about reading up on negs and possession snagged me. i think im just so used to people focusing on the fear that these topics generate and as a result saturating their minds with it, so this likely caused me to completely skim over your experience with these things. im good like that :D

No worries. I think your point made is one worth weighing when learning and considering Neg's in general. (It's fine line, you know? There seem those who really need to be aware and clear and focus on their possible presence, influence, etc, and then there are those who focus too much and need to trust themselves more, etc...)


and you are correct, i have no children (although 4 cats and a large man can break the serenity at times..), so i forget how this is a luxury for me. man, youve got some resolve. more power to you :) AND it sounds like you got some fascinating experience.. i'd love to ask you a couple of questions, but i dont want to hijack your thread here. would it be ok to pm you?

Feel free, certainly.