Need big help

Ok, everytime I think about life, i get this sick feeling. I have no idea why, and that thought leads me into other thoughts like what if this was all a dream, and just bad thoughts. Another one is life has no purpose in the end. I hate thinking about these things. When I try to stop myself though its like I have this sick feeling in my stomach.

Ill keep you guys posted, and tell you some of the thoughts i have during the day.
But please someone snap me back to reality.

[stargazer]

brettb, from the little you've said, it sounds like you have some generalized anxiety... the "Sick feeling in your stomach" is a big red flag for that. I have the same condition.

The next time that you get that "Sick" feeling in your stomach, and have those kinds of thoughts... see what happens when you change that thought and put in a mundane kind of thought. The "Sick" feeling SHOULD stay put, which is a signal to you that it's not the thought that's causing the sick feeling. Accept that you're feeling a bit "out of it" and that the feeling will pass, and don't give any weight to those thoughts. Sort of like pulling yourself out of depression... I tell myself, regardless of how bad I feel right now, I will eventually feel better, so best just accept it til it passes. Some deep, calming breaths help.. they are a signal to your body that you should relax as you are not in danger, and it will help the stomach feeling settle.

I'm also in an anxiety study and take medication ... it has been a BIG help. Kava tea is good for settling anxiety as well.

~sending some energy your way~

I really can't explain the feeling, but to add to what ive said it's more of a feeling than a thought. Like at times I can actually make myself feel like im in a dream, and it's not gone untill I am done thinking about it.
Can u guys give me some scientific facts of life or just anything would help.
Thanks, Brett.

[Beekeeper]

Hi Brett,
"Anxiety" can be used to mean so many different things. So,I might be totally off the mark but I'll try...

Here's what I found helpful: a really good magnesium supplement. I kept getting a twitchy eye and muscle pain- a few people, over time, had mentioned magnesium was good for this so I tried it. I also noted on the bottle that it helps with "mild" anxiety.

Very soon my eye stopped twitching (not chakra related) and I slept better. Then I ran out and thought I'd get around to getting some more. Before I knew it, I was feeling unreasonably depressed, not just anxious. So, I resumed and felt better within a very short time.

My husband has started taking it too and says he feels much better for it.

There are a lot of other herbal remedies for anxiety, of course. I find increasing physical activity (even if you do a lot already) can help. It seems to eliminate unneeded hormones that can throw the balance (this might be a woman thing though). Get enough sunlight too and regular sleep if possible. Feeling overwhelmed by too much work is a fast track to anxiety as is boredom and the feeling that work is unchallenging or meaningless. Avoid reading doom and gloom materials too.

These things pass. Sometimes a little therapy can save a lot of angst. Sometimes too we spend too much time in introspection and we just need to get out and about and have fun as best we can. Maybe you're life isn't quite measuring up to expectation at the moment and you have a fear it will always be this way. There's no reason to believe this just as there's no reason to buy into the myth that we should be ever cheerful.

Cheers :)

[CFTraveler]

How old are you? Because sometimes on 'transformative' growth periods, like adolescence, natural hormonal imbalances (temporary) can cause generalized anxiety or depression. So you may be going through a natural phase. Like stargazer said, sometimes natural supplements can help- sometimes talking about your problems help also.

[Chris]

I'm not that old now, but I remember around the age of 11+ I used to feel so close to the edge of insanity I could taste it. It was a feeling in my head which is very hard to describe - thankfully I didn't slip into insanity - or I haven't noticed if I have lol :P On many occasions reality did feel like a dream.
I have even earlier memories, around the age of 4 and wishing I could be solider in a jigsaw puzzle I had. That way I would never age, never die, and the fear of death/the unknown wouldn’t matter any more.

Even now sometimes I lie in bed at night and I guess feel a sort of fear regarding possibilities of what reality is. Not a fear which is tangible, it’s a much more complex feeling. The only way I can put it into words is such as knowledge of being totally alone on my path. For example, as a child, parents could make it all better - so if anything scared you, they could put your fear at ease and make you feel better. But with exploring consciousness, although you can talk to others about it, you are 100% on your own and the only help you can really get is from yourself. It reminds me of tripping (Taking psychedelics), once you’ve taken them you have to face whatever happens as there is no way out of it.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, if we start exploring reality, consciousness, self (in terms of ourselves), sometimes it is overwhelming. We are facing an unknown and it can invoke fear reactions.

These bad thoughts you mention, are they anything specific?



Another one is life has no purpose in the end


I used to experience this too :). I guess people might say it suggestion depression, but it wasn’t that. It was knowledge of the futility of the capitol existence. Working each day to feed myself, doing the generic things, car, family, house, retire, die. And it all seemed so pointless.
The way over this is to find interests, things that excite you, make you feel alive, and then follow them.

[Matthew]

Brettb,
A few ideas... I'll not go too deeply into them as they might not be your cup of tea.
Basically, the part of your unconscious that interfaces with your ego (this is the other half of your ego called the "unconscious ego") is sending feelings through to you that are interpretted as the thoughts "life isn't worth living" or "there is no purpose to life"....something like this. Why would your unconscious "twin" be sending you these signals?

It is usually because there is a more stressful attack taking place on a deeper, repressed level of the unconscious. Somewhere a part of yourself is wrestling with a terrible, passive feeling (whether this is totally you or partly Neg inspired would take research on your part- Negs implanting core images create a very passive and wounding experience).

If you feel disassociated from reality, life, and a deeper purpose, what would you be cutting off? A deep connection with others? A feeling of satisfaction in yourself? Again, why would your unconscious ego create this situation or, at least, allow it to persist? It is because there is a bigger battle being fought here. Usually, this battle takes place on all the six main layers of the unconscious. I would suggest that your unconscious ego is deliberately cutting you off from outside reality to protect you. Protect you from what? Usually, the same issue is reflected internally as well as externally (microcosm=macrocosm). From your post, I would think that the external-internal problem is that you don't feel in control of your life...and even more terrible, you feel forced to do things by people who you feel are totally inept and incapable of making good decisions. You feel like you are running around in a circle. (You might not feel like this consciously...take some time to explore your deeper feelings on this issue.) Your unconscious ego is protecting you from the "terrors" of the outside world (and your inner world) by distancing and disassociating you from it. I have some techniques for exploring and eradicating these neurotic issues if you are interested; however, Robert Bruce's core image removal techniques would probably be faster at redirecting what the alchemists called their "poison."

Take care,
Matthew

Thanks Chris!
It sounds exactly like what I am going through.
I am 15 years old by the way.

Thanks Mathew for your post as well, it's a little complicating but I think i get the just of it. I would very much like to try those techniques that you have.

Ok, everytime I think about life, i get this sick feeling. I have no idea why, and that thought leads me into other thoughts like what if this was all a dream, and just bad thoughts. Another one is life has no purpose in the end. I hate thinking about these things. When I try to stop myself though its like I have this sick feeling in my stomach.

Ill keep you guys posted, and tell you some of the thoughts i have during the day.
But please someone snap me back to reality.

Well I dont know why you are feeling this but I can say that we are in heaven so don't feel so bad, enjoy heaven.

[Matthew]

From your post, I would think that the external-internal problem is that you don't feel in control of your life...and even more terrible, you feel forced to do things by people who you feel are totally inept and incapable of making good decisions. You feel like you are running around in a circle.


I am 15 years old by the way.


Haha... yes, that would explain you not feeling in control of your life, etc...

I'll try to post something tonight on some techniques.

Regards,
Matthew

[Dragon's Daughter]

I'll throw this out there - I'm not saying that it relates to what you're going through. But it's what I experienced from ages 13 - 20.

I would get these feelings over me. And for myself I would turn to poetry to 'express them', to 'get them out'. I would immerse myself into the emotion and ask myself what situation would create this emotion. Then I would begin to write from the visuals and the emotions that I would experience.

As soon as I would finish 'expressing' them. 'Poof', they'd be gone! In a few rare cases, I'd go through them due to something someone close to me was experiencing the same emotions. But I've got over 300 poems from that timeframe and most of them, I never knew where the emotions came from.

I learned later that I am a strong empath. I even developed telepathy for about 6 months when I was 19. I've learned the hard way to deal with these abilities. But I found how they help me now. It's truly about finding the balance - learning the ins and outs of what is going on, what is capable.

DD

Hi Brett, me again!
Since our ages are completely flipped, I can look back with a little more understanding than you can in your present situation. Your body is changing, hormones raging, which can really mess with your mind. You would be a very unusual teenager if you didn't have some of these feelings. Hormones are powerful things. You're up one day, down the next, everything is new and exciting one minute, the world is coming to an end in the next minute, you have no feelings at all the next minute. Like we've talked about before, you are opening to spirituality at a very young age (unlike most of your friends), and you are peeking into dimensions that would blow away most 30 year olds. You are questioning reality, spirituality, and other things that other people usually sneak up on very slowly in their lifetime, if at all. You are progressing spiritually faster than your mind can keep up with. Just hang in there, it will get better with time. Try to surround yourself with light and happy things...and for God's sake, stay out of the Psychic Defense Forum. The last thing you need right now is to be convinced that you are being chased around by negs. Read inspiring things, not depressing things. Watch movies with happy endings, not rock 'em, sock 'em, kill them all flicks. Play upbeat music, stay away from heavy, hard rock. Try being a goody-two-shoes. Help someone else. Take the focus off yourself by reaching out to help a friend in need. Think LOVE. Think LIGHT. Stay away from the dark and depressing. It can only pull you farther down. Stay far, far away from the occult...you aren't ready to handle that. Draw closer to the Spiritual. Surround yourself with love and laughter. Watch funny comedy movies. Anything to pull you out of your hole. You will re-wire your brain in time if you do these things and put yourself in the Light. Then, you'll be a force to reckon with...you're already on that path. I can't wait to see you in 10 years! Back up, Brett, the Magnificent Light is coming through!!!

[CFTraveler]

Brett: Listen to Painterhypnogirl. She knows what she's talking about.

[Matthew]

Brett,
It's great to embrace love, light, and every good quality. And it is certainly good advice to surround yourself with these ideals. However, you can't solve problems by sending them into some positive la-la land of repression either. The conscious and unconscious are like the positive and negative poles on a magnet. If you simply keep increasing the positive pole, the negative pole will increase proportionally. Personal power and enlightenment come from grasping the negative and positive poles and transcending this dichotomy: you can only accomplish this when you understand the negative within you. I tell you this not to depress you or to make you believe in what I say. Only to let you know that if you surround yourself with "happy,happy, joy, joy" and the pain gets worse instead of better, you will probably need to start digging very deeply into how you really feel...and don't sugercoat it to yourself. It may be dirty and ugly down there, but if we don't embrace our feelings at some point, they will continue to pollute our lives.

The exercises I have are very hard as they involve intense self-observation. I would really recommend you starting with Robert Bruce's core image removal techniques. They are much easier to use than what I have and make for a great starting point. Also, there are great websites on Buddhist and Fourth-Way (Gurdjieff) self-observation techniques. I started by digging into these traditions twenty years ago.

Take care and PM me if you need anything else.

-Matthew

[Dragon's Daughter]

Matthew,

The experience that I related above very much put me through the emotional wringer during that timeframe. I went through every emotion imaginable. During which I soul searched, dug deep - explored soul avenues with no direction at all from anyone or anything. Talk about taking the 'crash course'.

As my Shaman Teacher loved to say "some of us are 'marked' and you're going whether you go willingly or you're dragged kicking and screaming."

I certainly don't wish this on anyone but sometimes the hard road is the one that teaches the most. I know so much about myself that it just baffles me how little those physically around me don't know about themselves.

I don't discount any path that anyone chooses for themselves - but I also don't believe in blank statements (from anyone) saying "it doesn't have to be this way, this will work for you" - my advice, talk to the Higher Self. If you can't talk to your own Higher Self - get a mediator. Sometimes if you're stubborn (as I am), you have to get the hard lesson to really "get it". Luckily I was able to get that done spiritually and emotionally rather than having to physically be put through the same soul exploration.

And if you don't get the answer you're looking for from your HS - you ask "What can I do/should do?" And you get the 'ol "whatever you want" statement - start playing "20 questions" - you can eventually get something to work with.

DD

[Matthew]

Good post, DD. I understand where you are coming from....
-Matthew

[Dragon's Daughter]

Thanks, Matthew, sometimes I wonder if I end up just confusing people. Sometimes I have so much to write - but I think I just jumble it trying to get it all down.

DD

Haven't you "down and dirty" people ever heard of MANIFESTATION????? You attract what you put out. Brett is a little bit young to be digging deep into the dark side of his soul. Encouraging him to search the darkness is encouraging him to draw it to himself. I have worked with teenagers all my life. Professionally beginning in college. I actually have EXPERIENCE, professional and personal, in helping young people. I'm not giving out advice from just my own personal struggles with life, which I see so many people on this forum doing. I am talking about seeing results with the power of manifestation. I have seen many people's lives change for the better by drawing the positive to themselves.

One can choose to grow through pain and struggle or one can choose to grow through choosing a path that takes you outside of your self-imposed darkness. We are what we believe we are. We manifest what we think. We are powerful creatures, and we have the ability to turn that power against ourselves or to create ourselves in the image of Light. How sad that you would encourage someone to manifest darkness for themselves because of your personal dislike for "lala land". You are throwing a drowning person an anchor, I am throwing them a life raft.
Love and Light,
Patty

Thanks Chris!
It sounds exactly like what I am going through.
I am 15 years old by the way.

Thanks Mathew for your post as well, it's a little complicating but I think i get the just of it. I would very much like to try those techniques that you have.
I was listening to this tape... On it one speaker described how he had suffered after his car was burglarized. He ended by saying that it was the most difficult thing he had ever experienced.

Another speaker asked how old he was. He said he was 24. The second speaker said that he thought he just might have a few more experiences in life.

You never know...

[Matthew]

Hmmm...good point, Painterhypnogirl. It is important to keep a positive attitude. However, not all that is manifested comes through consciousness. (A common misconception that a basic psychology course will disprove.) In essense, any neurotic complex is unconsciously manifested into reality. Take obsessive-compulsive behaviour for example. The person has very little knowledge of why he or she repeats the same actions (let's think of the classic hand-washing type). These actions are unconsciously motivated. They are unconscious MANIFESTATIONS. If the person washes their hands 50 times and then listens to Mozart because it makes them "feel positive" and helps them go out and interact with others positively, it does not change the fact that they will go and wash their bleeding hands 50 more times that day. In this regards, I believe it helps to deal with the unconscious issue. What would be sad is giving them another tape to listen to and thinking you solved their problem...

-Matthew

Thanks for all your guys support so far.

Many people such as my parents and people who know what theyre talking about say it is a hormonal stage. Now I don't really know much about hormonal stages, like if they are good thing, if they make you smarter, if there bad things. It's all mixed emotions, feelings, thoughts right now. I also know that I tend to be a little more of a negative thinker, I turn to positive thoughts when I am doing a good action i.e scoring points in a basketball ball game, then I start thining positive and more confident and before I know it I got 20 points.

This, what I now believe to be, hormonal stage is not really so fun. Except the fact that I'm beginning to think outside of the box and, from diffrent points of views now. But otherwise it's not that fun because it's sort of changed my view on things and I think it's sort of a shock to me. Like I'll just be looking at things in the physical world and it will look diffrent, I have no idea why it looks diffrent but it does.

One of the people I have asked about this said the same type of thing happened to him when he was about my age. He is an older guy, and he said that he was just sitting down and a wave of energy (i guess) came over him and he said that it's like he was thinking like a kid and then when the wave came over him he thought like and adult.

Now Patty(Mom, i'd like to call u that :D ) it's very hard for me to change the way I think. I mean iv'e tried changing the way I think before but it takes my full attention and it's hard for me(I'm a really deep thinker). So can you explain to me what you mean by "Love and Light. Like do you want me to be nicer to people, because I allready know I am as nice as I can be unless I go out of my way to do things for people. But I allready know I'm respectful and I know i'm an extremely loving person. So if you could just explain that i would love you even more for it.

Sorry Matthew, but I am really knew to learning about counsciousness and stuff like that so when your saying all this stuff to do with that I have a real hard time understanding what your talking about. So you can talk to me like you would talk to a normal 15 year old.
All I know is that there is a consious, sub-counscious, thats about it :P .

Thanks again for all your guys supports, this is my latest news on the subject.

Hi Brett,
It's really not that fun to be a teenager. Most of us look back on that time as one of the hardest times of our life. Hormones - they are these wacky little chemicals that are responsible for making your body turn from a child to an adult. The process can be tough, as they also affect your brain and your moods. Ever hear of the term "moody teenager"? And, on top of that, peer pressure seems to be at it's height during those same years. You know, the competitiveness between the popular kids, the nerdy kids, and the kids who are just plain different. Everyone is trying to fit in somewhere, and everybody feels like they are different. Things usually improve when you get out of school and your body settles down.

Being a deep thinker is a good thing. It means you have more maturity than a lot of the kids around you. You told me before that most of your friends are more worried about how they look, etc. than they are about finding what life is all about. You are ten steps ahead of them.

It's funny you mentioned how the world will sometimes look different to you. I posted somewhere? about an experience I had at your age. I was walking with a bunch of friends at night when time stood still for me and I was in a totally different reality. A voice said to me that our reality is not real. I knew instantly that there is more out there than just everyday life. Very, very strange and had no idea what it was. Now, I understand it was a part of my psychic abilities showing up. Sounds like you are having the same things. It's a gift! Look at it as something special that few people get to experience.

Hurray for you that you are a nice and loving person!!! I admire you for that. There are quite a few mean and cruel people, your age and mine. We need more people like you in the world.

You already know how to think positively...your example of your basketball game. Just keep doing that a little at a time. No one is positive all the time. You should hear me, I just yelled at my husband to leave me alone because I'm typing this to you! LOL! It's ok to be a negative thinker, you just don't want to get yourself so depressed that you have a hard time just being in the world. Be aware, catch yourself when you start getting deep into negative thoughts and try to change them to something more positive. It's a skill, just like your basketball. Were you able to score the first time you tried? I bet you had to practice. It's the same thing. We create our own world. You have to make the choice for yourself. Do you want to be sad and depressed, or do you want to work at it, and create a new way of thinking? It's a lifetime challenge. No one gets it 100% all the time. Us adults are still struggling to make our lives better and more positive. But, it's really worth it. It will help you all through your life when things get tough. You'll know that you will be ok no matter how bad things look. Look at you, you are eternal! You are indestructible.

It might help if you spend a little time asking your spiritual guides to help you out. They won't make life rosy for you, but they will give you knowledge and help you get through the tough times. Keep asking for their help, and then wait and watch. Look for answers they give you...a helpful book you find at the right time, a friend who shows up just when you thought you were alone, a friend on the internet when you have questions!

Now, I have to ask you this. Has something really bad happened to you in your life? You don't have to answer if you don't want to, you don't have to post it. If you feel the need, you always know you can pm me.

So, I think I answered all your questions. You are doing good, you are asking and not keeping things all bottled up. Keep learning!
Love and Light,
Patty

Matthew, a basic psychology course? I have a psychology degree, a Registered Nurse license, and am a Certified Crisis Counselor. And, Freud was not the end all and be all of the human psyche. He was a bit nuts himself when it came to women and their sexuality.

I think I'd be a bit careful about overstepping your bounds. There is such a thing as practicing medicine without a license. Unless you are licensed, I'd keep the advice on a little more practical level and leave off the psycho babble. Having psychotherapist parents does not make one a psychotherapist. I apologize in advance if you are licensed.

Also, I would never give someone a music tape and think I solved their problem. Don't be ridiculous. I also do not have the large ego it takes to believe you can solve someone else's problem. All healing is self-healing. All we can do is guide another person and offer advice. And, I have worked with obsessive-compulsive people.

[Matthew]

You're right, Painterhypnogirl. I am not a therapist. I have an MBA and run a company. That's where my schooling ended. However, let's not be patronizing here. You are an RN and crisis counselor...not a licensed therapist either. I respect your credentials and am glad that you are out there helping people.

Regards,
Matthew

I'm not being patronizing. I am very careful about not overstepping my bounds, and staying within the legal scope of my practice. I have a duty (ethical as well as legal) to refer out when someone's problem is beyond my education, and have to do so fairly often. I'm sorry if I came across as patronizing, I'm just very sensitized because of all the ethics classes I had to take, that's all. I see far too many people in my business taking on clients they really shouldn't. (In case you didn't know, I'm a Clinically Certified Hypnotherapist and minister not interested in having a church).
Love and Llight,
Patty

Oh, and I went to Law School and dropped out. Hehehehe! Hard to fit a free spirited, mystical mind into a logical brain!!! You seem to have done that better than I could!

[Matthew]

Yeah... and I went into the family business and started a psych degree before getting a BA in English....then going on to business...quite a direction change :lol:

I know I come across as gloom and doom sometimes. I will take your advice to heart. People often need a more uplifting message. I sometimes feel like there is unneeded "sugarcoating" in life and this makes me more abrupt than I need to be.

And yes... I deliberately went into business because at the time I felt it would round out my spiritual side and prove a good testing ground for my philosophy on life. It is definitely the "trenches" as they say.

Peace to you, Patty.

-Matthew

[Beekeeper]

Matt and Patty,

Hi. I think Brett would agree that you've both helped him just by showing him you care enough to respond to his posting.

As a teacher, working as the pastoral care co-ordinator for a time, I was sent to a suicide prevention course. The point these qualified psychologists/ social workers made is that we're all responsible for looking after eachother, even people we don't know. You do not have to work in a particular field. They speculated (or perhaps it was more than speculation) that hairdressers and taxi drivers save as many lives as psychologists do.

Brett said he was experiencing anxiety. It unfolded that perhaps he's experiencing a greater existential angst. He's growing up, as are we all. A number of people showed they cared about him (and, why not, he's been a delightful presence on these forums- but that's neither here nor there). Many of us attributed Brett's state to his age (but we all know he'll experience this kind of thing when he's older too) and made practical suggestions and gave spiritual advice that he can explore for himself, as is appropriate to his situation. It's very likely he'll now discover new methods that will aid him through his life.

Brett, you sound like the resourceful resilient type to me. Good luck.

Good post, Beekeeper! Brett is doing much better, now. Hey, Brett, post so people will know you're ok!!!

Good post, Beekeeper! Brett is doing much better, now. Hey, Brett, post so people will know you're ok!!!

Shes right, good thing to know that I'm gonna be just fine!
Thanks for everyones support. You guys mean the world to me.