Request for Healing

[Ouroboros]

Hey everyone, it's been awhile.

I'd like to request some healing energy. Anything you can send my way would be appreciated; energy, love, prayers, reiki, anything. It's much appreciated.

I can't really describe what's wrong, because I almost don't know. Very confusing...I just think I could use a little help.

[ButterflyWoman]

Done. And done. Feel free to emotionally/spiritually "tap" me any time you need a long-distance energy hug, and I mean that quite sincerely. ;)

[CFTraveler]

Ditto.

[Palehorse Redivivus]

Ditto too, but in a... manly sorta way. *solemn nod* :P

And will send some good stuff your way later. :)

[ButterflyWoman]

Ditto too, but in a... manly sorta way. *solemn nod*
He'll send you an energetic punch on the arm and a pat on the back. :P

[Palehorse Redivivus]

Precisely! *punch* :D

[Ouroboros]

Hehehe...thanks everyone.

I've been trying to enact a lot of changes in my life, and been successful with some (like the college thing - so far that's going pretty darn well). But I'm finding just how hard it is to change patterns of behavior. It's taking a lot of energy out of me, and I don't have a whole lot of support in my day-to-day life. I'm only accountable to myself, and now and then the loneliness of the struggle gets to be overwhelming.

For some, it seems like the knowledge that we must determine our own truths is very liberating. For me, it makes me feel like I'm alone and adrift in the middle of a storm with nothing to hold on to. I want higher help desperately, but I'm so ashamed of myself that I think I'm unintentionally blocking out everything that isn't mundane, material existence.

At least I've come that far though; I didn't really recognize until now just how big a part shame has played in my life.

[CFTraveler]

I began to post a really long and convoluted thing that would have probably exasperated you.
I deleted it, and only can tell you, it will get better, but it might get worse before it gets better.
If you want to talk more pm me, and if I don't respond send me subtle reminders because I get a lot of pms and half of the time don't know which ones I replied to. My pm inbox gets crammed daily and I have to routinely delete a bunch to be able to even get them.
But if there's anything I can do please don't hesitate to ask.

[ButterflyWoman]

For me, it makes me feel like I'm alone and adrift in the middle of a storm with nothing to hold on to.
Been there, done that.


I want higher help desperately, but I'm so ashamed of myself that I think I'm unintentionally blocking out everything that isn't mundane, material existence.
When you're desperate enough, you'll start to jetison stuff that you don't need. All those beliefs and thoughts and concepts and ideas that you've been dragging along with you.. they'll go. One by one, you'll let them go.

Shame is one of the ones that will definitely need to go, and better sooner than later. It's a completely and utterly useless piece of baggage.


I didn't really recognize until now just how big a part shame has played in my life.
Wait until you see how much it weight you down, traps you, constricts you, fetters you, cripples you, and in all other ways harms you. Oh, and one more thing to look out for: shame is a form of the ultimate soul-destroyer, which is fear.

Don't worry. You'll get where you need to go. I spent quite some time "lost at sea". It's the Dark Night of the Soul. It's normal, and it's necessary if you're going to shed your old skin and eventually metamophosise. Just remember: What looks like death to the caterpillar is the beginning of life for the butterfly.

[Ouroboros]

I began to post a really long and convoluted thing that would have probably exasperated you.
I deleted it, and only can tell you, it will get better, but it might get worse before it gets better.
If you want to talk more pm me, and if I don't respond send me subtle reminders because I get a lot of pms and half of the time don't know which ones I replied to. My pm inbox gets crammed daily and I have to routinely delete a bunch to be able to even get them.
But if there's anything I can do please don't hesitate to ask.

PM sent. :)



For me, it makes me feel like I'm alone and adrift in the middle of a storm with nothing to hold on to.
Been there, done that.


I want higher help desperately, but I'm so ashamed of myself that I think I'm unintentionally blocking out everything that isn't mundane, material existence.
When you're desperate enough, you'll start to jetison stuff that you don't need. All those beliefs and thoughts and concepts and ideas that you've been dragging along with you.. they'll go. One by one, you'll let them go.

Shame is one of the ones that will definitely need to go, and better sooner than later. It's a completely and utterly useless piece of baggage.

Yeah, I'm still struggling to identify what exactly the source of the shame is. I have a few ideas, but it's a lot harder to pinpoint than I thought it would be.



I didn't really recognize until now just how big a part shame has played in my life.
Wait until you see how much it weight you down, traps you, constricts you, fetters you, cripples you, and in all other ways harms you. Oh, and one more thing to look out for: shame is a form of the ultimate soul-destroyer, which is fear.

Don't worry. You'll get where you need to go. I spent quite some time "lost at sea". It's the Dark Night of the Soul. It's normal, and it's necessary if you're going to shed your old skin and eventually metamophosise. Just remember: What looks like death to the caterpillar is the beginning of life for the butterfly.

Yes...this little caterpillar is still very much afraid. I've got tons of caterpillar ambition left, and a part of me is really frightened by the prospect of losing it. All of my dreams and ambitions I see as a vital part of who I am; they're the only things keeping me going. If I lose them, I fear my will to live will disappear with them.

[googolplex]

Hehehe...thanks everyone.

I've been trying to enact a lot of changes in my life, and been successful with some (like the college thing - so far that's going pretty darn well). But I'm finding just how hard it is to change patterns of behavior. It's taking a lot of energy out of me, and I don't have a whole lot of support in my day-to-day life. I'm only accountable to myself, and now and then the loneliness of the struggle gets to be overwhelming.

For some, it seems like the knowledge that we must determine our own truths is very liberating. For me, it makes me feel like I'm alone and adrift in the middle of a storm with nothing to hold on to. I want higher help desperately, but I'm so ashamed of myself that I think I'm unintentionally blocking out everything that isn't mundane, material existence.

At least I've come that far though; I didn't really recognize until now just how big a part shame has played in my life.

You don't always have to go it alone, people have help, the main thing is try and be good person, I don't understand exactly what problem you have, but problems are ment to be solved.
In different societies something that would be consider wrong by one group, is quite accecped by another. If you look at this in Pure Zen Thought there is nothing wrong in the universe, it is simply as it is.
If you are doing something you don't feel is right for you, don't do it, tomorrow is a new day put a good foot forward, and relize you are new, changed, it is not possible to change the past I do not believe, so go forward don't look back.
Just do some work on self, those stupid little egos to, some nasty if don't get rid of them, a lot of them come from what ever your childhood has been, got to get over it, go foreward into the light.
Things can't be that bad, like the girl who cried because she had no shoes, until she met the girl who had no feet.
If you have something else that is a trouble, they call me Dr. Googolplex, I don't, but others do.