Kevin
9th July 2009, 04:01 PM
I'm not always one to delve into the meanings of my dreams, typically because my dreams are very average. Usually they reflect my feelings of the day. Sometimes that is anxiety. Other times it is flights of pure fancy, like when I see a really good movie or read a very entertaining book and then dream about it later that night. Even when I become Lucid in a dream, the dream itself usually means very little. It is usually the experience of the dream that I identify with, not the symbolism. But every so often, I have a dream that I know will stick with me for the rest of my life, one that touches me in surprising ways. There are 3 dreams that I have had in 27 years of experience that fall into this category:
I have always had an anxiety about death and beyond. Like most people, I fear the unknown. For me, Death is the epitomy of this unknown. I do consider myself a Christian, though I view my religion through a New Age type of filter. It's my belief that the bible is an intrepretation of things that are actually beyond our understanding; perhaps it was even written by early Astral Projectionists. When I was a child I had a very unique dream; I dreamed that Jesus came to me in my bedroom. I had been fervently praying that God relieve my fear of death and dying. In my dream Jesus came to me and I felt very at peace and at ease. In the dream he offered me a choice; I could choose to stay alive or I could go with him, to die but to die with him by my side. I felt as though he was offering himself as my guide. Now I've died many times in my dreams, but never before or ever again have I been given the choice. I did choose to stay but the dream did, for a time anyway, rid me of the anxiety. The dream also renewed my beliefs. Looking back I don't try to defend the validity of my dream. I don't try to argue that the dream was real, or that Jesus really appeared to me. But to me it was FELT very real and still causes me to wonder if I had made the opposite choice, would I have died that night for real? I know many people would probably argue that it was my subconcious mind trying to rid itself of my fears, but since then I have never had a dream like it even with a growing anxiety of death. Perhaps it is because my choice has been made and can't be offered to me again?
The second dream was as an adult. Like I said, I have died multiple times in dreams. Usually it was caused by something tangible. Once it was a knife wound, another time it was falling of a cliff, ect ect. In this dream, however, it was different. I was just dieing, as if I were on a death bed waiting for it to come. I could practically feel my life seeping away as darkness closed about. I can remember praying fervently that there be something afterwards, the fear was overwhelming. Finally, as I died completely, A vortex wrenched me out of my body. Oddly enough it dragged me downwards, though in those first few instances I can remember the relief I felt at anything happening. I landed in a type of waiting room or pergatory. I was slated for Heaven, but I still wasn't ready. It wasn't a bad place and I was so relieved. From where I was though, I could hear singing and it was a glorious sound. It's come to be my belief that the vortex may have been the Astral Wind phenomenon that Robert Bruce describes in Astral Dynamics. The wind that sometimes drags everything up and into it before pushing everything back out of it. I also think that maybe the dream portion was astral symbolism for what I may have experienced while there. It was so inspiring that I actually wrote a poem about it. Though I am an aspiring writer, I make no claim at being a poet. I have only ever been moved enough to write my own poetry twice in my life, the following is one of these:
Dead and Dreaming
By Kevin Day.
As my heart beats slowly faded,
In my mind my thoughts grew jaded.
What if only darkness awaited me,
and after death I'd cease to be?
Franticly I fought the fear,
with the cold embrace of death so near.
Helpless, I was, in holding back
My death and the encroaching black.
In the end I prayed with all my might,
That God would save me from eternal night.
That was when the vortex took me,
almost violently it shook me.
So glad I was at its embrace,
when from my body my soul did race.
This mortal's prayers had been granted,
For it was in Heaven I had landed.
I had come to the land on high,
So beautiful that my soul began to cry.
At last I'd found an end to pain
and all my human fear had been in vain.
Suddenly, amidst the newly dead,
A holy voice came from up ahead.
"Gather Children, Can you hear the ringing?
Be not afraid. It's the sound of Angels singing."
I woke up then, my heart was screaming,
I had not died and was only dreaming.
And now the last dream that I have to tell about, and the real reason for making this post, happened just last night. It started out as a typical dream about old friends and lost loves, a type of dream that I have often. But towards the end of the dream I became lucid, albeit only very precariously as I could physically feel the strain of concentration it took. Usually when I become Lucid I just meander about my dreams. Sometimes I interact with people in my dream, but only the way I normally would as if they were just mere aspects of the dream. Last night however, as I became lucid on a landscape that appeared to be the outside patio of a small cafe at night, I approached a man sitting at a table. I asked a question, one that was very important to me though it escapes me now. The man at the table responded, "You'll have to find your Spirit Guide." I remember thinking after that I should ALSO ask what happens after death, but then thought to myself "No, He will just respond the same, I need to ask my spirit guide." After that I lost lucidity and woke up. Like I said, I'm not one to read very far into my dreams, its just not my way, but this one struck a cord because I never dream about spirit guides. It seems like maybe I was speaking to an entity that was not a dream. I also find it odd that I can't remember my question, though I can remember wanting to ask about death. I remember that I had perfect clarity when forming the question I asked, and that it was just as clear in my head as my conscious thoughts are. Up to now I thought that what happened after death was the most important question I had, but apparently not. Perhaps I am just not ready to know what that question is, at least not until I find my spirit guide. The question now is, how do I find them :D
Comments, observations? I welcome all.
I have always had an anxiety about death and beyond. Like most people, I fear the unknown. For me, Death is the epitomy of this unknown. I do consider myself a Christian, though I view my religion through a New Age type of filter. It's my belief that the bible is an intrepretation of things that are actually beyond our understanding; perhaps it was even written by early Astral Projectionists. When I was a child I had a very unique dream; I dreamed that Jesus came to me in my bedroom. I had been fervently praying that God relieve my fear of death and dying. In my dream Jesus came to me and I felt very at peace and at ease. In the dream he offered me a choice; I could choose to stay alive or I could go with him, to die but to die with him by my side. I felt as though he was offering himself as my guide. Now I've died many times in my dreams, but never before or ever again have I been given the choice. I did choose to stay but the dream did, for a time anyway, rid me of the anxiety. The dream also renewed my beliefs. Looking back I don't try to defend the validity of my dream. I don't try to argue that the dream was real, or that Jesus really appeared to me. But to me it was FELT very real and still causes me to wonder if I had made the opposite choice, would I have died that night for real? I know many people would probably argue that it was my subconcious mind trying to rid itself of my fears, but since then I have never had a dream like it even with a growing anxiety of death. Perhaps it is because my choice has been made and can't be offered to me again?
The second dream was as an adult. Like I said, I have died multiple times in dreams. Usually it was caused by something tangible. Once it was a knife wound, another time it was falling of a cliff, ect ect. In this dream, however, it was different. I was just dieing, as if I were on a death bed waiting for it to come. I could practically feel my life seeping away as darkness closed about. I can remember praying fervently that there be something afterwards, the fear was overwhelming. Finally, as I died completely, A vortex wrenched me out of my body. Oddly enough it dragged me downwards, though in those first few instances I can remember the relief I felt at anything happening. I landed in a type of waiting room or pergatory. I was slated for Heaven, but I still wasn't ready. It wasn't a bad place and I was so relieved. From where I was though, I could hear singing and it was a glorious sound. It's come to be my belief that the vortex may have been the Astral Wind phenomenon that Robert Bruce describes in Astral Dynamics. The wind that sometimes drags everything up and into it before pushing everything back out of it. I also think that maybe the dream portion was astral symbolism for what I may have experienced while there. It was so inspiring that I actually wrote a poem about it. Though I am an aspiring writer, I make no claim at being a poet. I have only ever been moved enough to write my own poetry twice in my life, the following is one of these:
Dead and Dreaming
By Kevin Day.
As my heart beats slowly faded,
In my mind my thoughts grew jaded.
What if only darkness awaited me,
and after death I'd cease to be?
Franticly I fought the fear,
with the cold embrace of death so near.
Helpless, I was, in holding back
My death and the encroaching black.
In the end I prayed with all my might,
That God would save me from eternal night.
That was when the vortex took me,
almost violently it shook me.
So glad I was at its embrace,
when from my body my soul did race.
This mortal's prayers had been granted,
For it was in Heaven I had landed.
I had come to the land on high,
So beautiful that my soul began to cry.
At last I'd found an end to pain
and all my human fear had been in vain.
Suddenly, amidst the newly dead,
A holy voice came from up ahead.
"Gather Children, Can you hear the ringing?
Be not afraid. It's the sound of Angels singing."
I woke up then, my heart was screaming,
I had not died and was only dreaming.
And now the last dream that I have to tell about, and the real reason for making this post, happened just last night. It started out as a typical dream about old friends and lost loves, a type of dream that I have often. But towards the end of the dream I became lucid, albeit only very precariously as I could physically feel the strain of concentration it took. Usually when I become Lucid I just meander about my dreams. Sometimes I interact with people in my dream, but only the way I normally would as if they were just mere aspects of the dream. Last night however, as I became lucid on a landscape that appeared to be the outside patio of a small cafe at night, I approached a man sitting at a table. I asked a question, one that was very important to me though it escapes me now. The man at the table responded, "You'll have to find your Spirit Guide." I remember thinking after that I should ALSO ask what happens after death, but then thought to myself "No, He will just respond the same, I need to ask my spirit guide." After that I lost lucidity and woke up. Like I said, I'm not one to read very far into my dreams, its just not my way, but this one struck a cord because I never dream about spirit guides. It seems like maybe I was speaking to an entity that was not a dream. I also find it odd that I can't remember my question, though I can remember wanting to ask about death. I remember that I had perfect clarity when forming the question I asked, and that it was just as clear in my head as my conscious thoughts are. Up to now I thought that what happened after death was the most important question I had, but apparently not. Perhaps I am just not ready to know what that question is, at least not until I find my spirit guide. The question now is, how do I find them :D
Comments, observations? I welcome all.