Do I need healing for this?

[hermit_ix]

Hello,
I guess the main reason why I ask if I need healing for this is because I don't know if it is a "spiritual problem". I have mild OCD & emetophobia (fear of vomiting). I have always had OCD tendencies & fear of vomiting, but its actually a weird way that i came about actually having full on OCD...another story.

Here is some info: Right now, the OCD comes daily with intrusive/negative thoughts, that if I think them, I feel something bad will happen and its almost as if I really feel the thoughts, which would be awful (i.e. wanting someone to die). I have mental rituals to make them go away and for me to feel better. The emetophobia caused me much damage 2 years ago; so much so, that I lost about 15lbs (I am petite!) and couldn't eat or find joy in eating. I was anorexic-looking, anxious all the time, and I would have panic attacks if I thought my phobia was coming true. I started medication for the phobia about 5 months after I got the symptoms. I was on 300mg of it which helped me greatly with the anxiety/eating (but not the thoughts/mental rituals). I have gained weight and do not have to take as much meds as before. I am not anxious &I can eat again :) The only negative side effect I have from the medication is sleep. I started feeling really tired and began sleeping too much; sometimes 12,13 hours a day. The doctor told me the sleepiness should have gone away already. Its not as bad now since I take less medication, but when I sleep too much, I am disoriented/dizzy and feel lifeless. I look like I am tired and people have pointed it out. I never looked tired before I took these meds (dark circles/lines under my eyes). I dont want to look/feel this way, but I dont want to stop the medication for fear that all I said above would come back...

So my questions would be...
Is OCD & phobia linked to having a spiritual imbalance? I do know that ocd is part physical, hereditary, (my dad has ocd & anxiety) and part learned behavior...if you can remember what you learned in psychology class, you know what i mean. I also read that anxiety is a symptom of a sensitive person... :( How would I best heal these things? Can my sleep issues be healed also? I would appreciate any help/insight!! :)

[sleeper]

the healing must always be paired with an accompanying change in your life (which must be inspired from knowing what made you ill in the first place).

what kinds of changes are you willing to make in your life?

they don't have to be difficult changes. they just have to be changes for the better, everyday changes that you can live with.

[VioletImagery]

It seems to me that mental rituals in themselves are not necessarily bad or unhealthy, but only if they are interfering with your ability to think and live a fulfilling life. I wonder if something like the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) might help you since it is also ritualistic in nature. The link to the free basic guide from the website:

http://www.emofree.com/downloadeftmanual.asp

Note: I am not an EFT practitioner, and have only just started working with the technique myself. I had heard a lot of respected energy workers and other spiritual healers recommend it and that is why I decided to try it. I should also state that I have no medical training and urge you to consider any spiritual healing you undertake as a supplement to traditional treatment.

[hermit_ix]

Hmm sleeper...
I guess i need to force myself not to sleep so much because like i said, when i do, i feel so weird...

as for what caused the ocd, i have no idea, it was so strange how i found that i had it. i did have tendencies before i knew though. i did a writing project in high school for health and my teacher was throwing out topics like drug abuse, and at one point he said obsessive compulsive disorder. i didnt know what that was at the time, but i just felt like i wanted to do my project on it. after reading about it, and learning about it, months later , i started actually having strange thoughts. it could be that maybe i "made" myself get it by reading about it (??), but i know that my dad had the same stuff (not until he told me, because i had never in my life seen him act strange or have a panic attack) and i remember around age 13, being uncomfortable with the uneveness of my physical body and afraid of vomiting. my psychologist told me that maybe selecting OCD as my project topic, was an intuitive way of telling myself what was to happen.

[hermit_ix]

hey violet,

that sounds like a cool idea! i will look into that. thanks for reading my post :)

[ButterflyWoman]

It's possible to heal every kind of disorder and malfunction, including ones based in your mind or brain. I won't go into my laundry list of former diagnoses, but suffice it to say I had a lot of issues with anxiety, phobia, and trauma disorder, plus some mood swing problems, to boot.

Now, I have the usual mild eccentric neuroses and the very, very occasional episode of anxiety (it's now very rare), and mild Seasonal Affective Disorder (winter blues). That's it. No violent mood swings, no particular phobias (okay, I still can't call the dentist to make an appointment, but I can go if my husband makes the appointment for me, and I still won't climb up a ladder past the second rung), no significant intrusive thoughts, etc.

So, yes, it can heal. Absolutely. It may take a while. But it can heal. I don't even take any medications any more, other than over the counter pain relievers on an occasional basis. I'm far from perfect, but I'm sane and generally happy with my life (well, other than my alternative spiritual beliefs, which some people find weird, but which I'm assured do not constitute insanity by any definition ;)).

I really recommend meditation. It's wonderfully helpful for dealing with any kind of anxiety. It can be difficult to do when you've got the intrusive thoughts happening, but when that's not going on, if you can settle down and make the attempt, you can slowly get into groove with it. With enough practice, you can get to where you can nip an "episode" right in the bud, before it has a chance to really start. ;)

[hermit_ix]

Thanks OlderWiser for your story/input. I really want to start developing my intuition and AP skills and such, which this ocd junk has prevented. also im the kind of person who wants results now!! LOL. Did meditation heal your ailments? or some other healing process?

[ButterflyWoman]

Did meditation heal your ailments?
Meditation helped me get a grip on the panic/anxiety and the intrusive thoughts that come with PTSD. It took a fair bit of practice, but first I got to where I could recognise that I was having a panic attack and just "ride" through it. Then I got to where I recognised pre-panic symptoms and could sort of "brace myself". Then I got to where I could stop the panic attack before it started. Now I don't even really get pre-symptoms any more. Last panic attack I had was more than a year ago (although it was a really big one, and it hit almost without warning, but the circumstances of my life at that time were extraordinary, so it's not like it was an everyday thing). The meditation contributed to my overall sense of well-being, inner peace, and, I know now, it altered my brain in ways that made me more able to deal with my own emotions (new scientific findings, that).

I can't say what, specifically caused healing. Just mostly I had the strong intention to be healed, and I was willing to work at it. I also believe that energy work has been helpful, and the meditation and energy work in combination caused other positive changes that led to healing, mostly, leading me out of my own ego (which is, after all, where the problem lies).

I wish I had better specifics on what I did and how it worked, but really, it was just a combination of intention, meditation, and being open to myself, my ego, my moods, etc., so that I could learn to deal with them. I used to feel very much that I was kind of at the mercy of my thoughts and emotions. Learning that I am not, that they're just "stuff that happens in my perception" and not necessarily important, has been a huge turning point.

[hermit_ix]

Thank you everyone for your help & advice.