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Sparkwielder
16th November 2008, 07:39 PM
Dream Journal title: "Another UFO Dream? Maybe, Maybe Not" Occured on Nov 4, 2008.

I was with a group of science geek type people that I sometimes hang out with in real life. We were at a hotel, or staying in college dorms that were hosting our convention.

I looked up at the sky, and saw a cloud formation moving in one direction, but then once the sun set, it suddenly reversed course and was moving in the complete opposite direction. This made me suspicious that this cloud was an alien transport vehicle in disguise. It was moving independantly of other clouds, and thus, it stood out. The moon was in the same "finger nail" phase that it was in real life on that day.

I talked to the others in my group about it, and one of them said that it was just clouds, and that it is normal for the wind to change direction at sunset. I said "ok, but it was not moveng like the other clouds" and he replied that there are different air current layers in the upper atmosphere. In the real world his argument was correct. This dream gets an A in physical science! I was still convinced however, that I saw something unusual.

Then I spoke to another guy who looked very similar to the first guy. They both looked like a real person that I know from the real group. This second guy(Mr.L) however, told me that what I suspected was correct. This event was not of the physical realm, and further more, he revealed to me that there is a cover up in progress, and even our small group of friends are involved in it! I left Mr. Ls presence, because at that point I felt compelled to draw what I saw. I drew the cloud, and then I became perplexed that I chose not to draw the moon. It was like I was debating with myself over it. Part of me wanted to include it to be accurate, and part of me didn't want to draw it because I felt that it wasn't part of the phenominon.

I seemed to be really slow in wit in the dream. After I was done with the drawing, I wanted to talk more with Mr. L. Unfortunately, Mr. L. had vanished, and I assumed that he just simply up and left. The thought that his dissapearence could have been involuntary never came to me in the dream, and I am an X-File fan! Very strange indeed!

Now I wake up, but the strangeness continues! I started to think about the dream. Standard protocol so that I can record it later. At the end of mulling over the various elements of the dream, I asked myself 'why did I have this dream?' then unexpectedly, a thought just suddenly rolled through my mind "Because you want to know what the purpose of humaity is" I imediately became startled because I realised that the thought did not come from me, and I thought 'wait a minute, who are you?' "The entity that the UFO in your dream symbolises" [Ok, so I am talking to "entities" now? I guess I better not post this in anyplace other than Astraldynamics if I don't want a new jacket! :roll: ] I visualised the cloud formation, and thought that it resembled the snake grasping its own tail. It actually did not as you will see later. I tried to recall if this was asscociated with any "entity", and I couldn't even remember the name of the symbol.

Now I am going to do something that I normally don't like to do, which is reveal some personal things about myself. I feel that these facts are very important in understanding this experience (I don't think I can even call it "just a dream" anymore. There seemes to be a bleed through between realities occuring here). First of all, I am a lot more selfish than I am willing to admit. I have never pondered too much over humanity's existance. When I got out of bed, I realised that the "entity" got it all wrong. No offence to the rest of y'all but my most pressing cosmic question is "what is the reason for MY existance" not humanity, so why would the entity say that to me? Maybe that's not so selfish, we all have our own agenda's right?

Ok, now this is really personal, and I never even told my Mother this. When I was growing up I was fascinated with science, but more with what had to do with the forces of manmade and natural distruction. Radiation, fire, and really bad weather - my favorite of this group being lightning - my name ain't Sparkwielder for nothing! Bwa ha ha ha haaaa! :twisted: Yes, you get the idea, a geek of the mad scientist type! Although I never actually did anything but observe these forces in action, my head was definately in the wrong place. I think that a lot of this came from the social and family abuse that I went through. In 1995 I became spiritually aware that I was seriously messed up and started to work on myself. I have made progress, so no, I will not be blowing anything up. The thing that helped is that I always had a great love for nature. I could have smacked my father, but always rescued animals.

It wasn't until last year that it was revealed to me that I was actally part of a collective consciouness that is really confused and messed up. There isn't just one "collective" out there. This is a misceivious force that doesn't realise that it hurts itself when it hurts others. It is spiritually ignorent of reality, and very selfish. It is not evil, but it is very dangerous. It's attitude is like, "lets push this button and see what happens!" This group I meantioned earlier that I get together with started to give me a bad feeling after this was revealed to me. I saw that a lot of the people (not all of them) are tied in with that collective. I have a lot of other benign things in common with them. Some of those interests are considered "strange interests" to the rest of the world. From James Redfield's perspective, this would not be unusual, as we are definately all part of the same "soul group" so it seems (book - The Celestine Prophesy). This group, just to give you some idea of what I am talking about, delights in watching movie clips of atomic bomb drops. It is a ritual to see such footage at the gatherings. They are very intelligent people. Some have jobs that require top secret clearence. I learned something new all the time when I used to go there. In spite of their intellignce, some of them have an interest in the occult that is uncanny!

So, this group that I was with in the dream represents the collective thought pattern that I have left, and no longer want any part of. That much is clear to me.

I was convinced that the cloud formation was the snake symbol, but then after actually drawing it in my journal (with the moon this time!) I saw that what I had actually drawn was the yin/yang symbol. When I googled "snake grasping own tail" I was suprised that I found the actual symbol - The Ouroborus rather quickly, and was very suprised to learn that from the Alchemical perspective - "One is The All", it is indeed linked metaphysically to the yin/yang symbol, though they sprang from different cultures. Another strange coincidence is that on the crystallinks page, there was an image having to do with The Language of the Birds that I saw in a different dream recently! I had never seen that image before in real life so that really freaked me out! I feel that this synchronicity really emphasised that this experience is not meaningless, and is the reason I am giving it so much attention.

I don't know how to paste the image in here, so I will just have to describe it. It looks more like a tadpole grabbing its own tail forming a yin/yang circle. The white part has three little blobs in it that look like eggs or something. I don't know if there is any significance to those.

There are no "entities" associated with the yin/yang, or the Ouroboros symbol, so I don't know what the entity thing was all about.

Can anyone offer me any insights on any of this?

sdbl731
16th November 2008, 08:41 PM
Very interesting post, Sparkwielder - I'm curious to see what others will say.

I don't know how to paste the image in here, so I will just have to describe it.
When you're posting, there's a little blue tabbed box below Save / Preview / Submit that says Options and Upload attachment. Click on Upload attachment to upload an image (or whatever you want) - keep in mind there's a size limit.

Cheers,
Andy

Ouroboros
16th November 2008, 09:07 PM
Well, I just HAD to reply to this! (for obvious reasons :P ).

I've always loved the Ouroboros symbol, and I never really knew why. It's just always been appealing to me. That's why I took it as both my stage name and the name I use here.

The primary thing the Ouroboros has always symbolized to me is eternity, or more specifically "without beginning or ending." It seems that may not be one of the more popular interpretations of the symbol, but that is what it has always represented to me. It's secondary meaning (to me) is continual renewal/growth/recycling (snake eating itself but always growing in tandem with the consumption). Fascinating to see this show up so prominently in your dream.

Sparkwielder
17th November 2008, 03:07 AM
Ok, am I really a geek, or am I a fraud? lets find out:
http://forums.astraldynamics.com/download/file.php?mode=view&id=54&sid=0f01494f4af192009a77b81de5f41a42
If I am truely a geek the drawing of the cloud, and of course moon should appear above :) Thanks Andy!

Ouroboros!, what a coinkydink! Thanks for replying! I guess the universe is pretty eternal!

Alex, with the cool stuff you posted in the other thread, I knew you wouldn't let me down!

In the context of your dream I would wager (if I were a betting man) that the symbol you witnessed refers to the universe itself.
You could be right, after all, where was I looking! Sometimes things are just so obvious that I just don't see it. Like looking at an elephant under a microscope.

Your worldview reminds me of a computer network (The intra-net) like the one at work. I used the computer analogy when I encountered that "I am all that is" realisation a couple of years ago. I think I may have written about it on this site as a matter of fact. It's one of those things that you read about it in spiritual literature, and you go "well, ok, fine" but when I was confronted with it face to face it was like "what is this crap!, how could this be? it all felt blissful at the time, but what a load of....etc" Using the computer analogy helped me come to terms with this knowlege. It was a great way to satisfy my rational mind so that it would shut the F up, and it kept me from sticking my head in the sand again, or somewhere else.


In early stages of spiritual development we use concepts of higher self or 'outside entities' as a proxy between what we perceive as our true physical self, and our actual true universal self.
It helps to have someone to talk to, even if I am just talking to myself! The squirrel will eat it either way! :lol:


So when you speak of this 'entity' coming to you as a symbol, it seems clear to me that you became aware of the link you share with the universe. When this happened you had some glimpses of your universal awareness and your true purpose. Upon waking this makes little sense to you because it seems so far removed from your present perspective.
I like that twist! I was saying how clueless I was in the dream. So maybe I have it backwards! There is one thing that I am absolutely sure about with the universe, and I have seen it many times; it's that the universe has a sense of humor!


Perhaps the meaning wasn't just wanting to know about humanity, but the whole reason for being, universally. You are perhaps here to discover the meaning of existance itself. The question "Why am I here" is a direct analog to "Why does the universe exist", given the relationship between the individual 'I' nodes, and the universe itself.
:shock: I look fat to you?
Seriously, I wonder if so many people are secretly asking "why am I here?" these days, that it really is as if the whole universe is asking it? Like I am being told in a nice way "Yea, you and everyone else!"


As far as why you became confused over whether to draw the moon or not, I think that there was a conflict between your universal perspective and your individual perspective. On the one hand, your physical self which prides itself on being accurate and intelligent wanted to draw the moon in the picture, for the sake of academic correctness. On the other hand, the universe was saying 'everything else is unimportant. This link is what you need to focus on. Put everything aside and focus on this. Understand this and you will understand everything"
This really resonated with me. I got goosebumps when I read it! I think you have hit the nail on the head with that one!

Thanks!

Sparkwielder
17th November 2008, 02:41 PM
Further to this, in your darkest moments you have great difficulty being aware of the light, almost as if you become blind to it even being there.

Yes, this is true. In my darkest moments I can't see the light at all. One day I can feel like 'God' is sitting in the middle of my being, I am blessed and satisified, then the next I feel like crap and I can't see any significance of what I saw the day before. Usually it is a dark thought about some past hurt that arises. If I have presence of mind, I can pull myself out by going out in nature, settling down, and recalling the thoughts of the day before. Some of the bad stuff is due to psychological scars, but a lot of times this is caused by a hormone imbalence which has gottten worse in the past few years. When it is sync'ed up with the full moon it is similar to manic depression. When the moon and and I are out of phase it's pretty level - no rollercoaster, but then I don't get the cool veiw from the top either :wink: . The good news is that the reason it has gotten worse is because it is comming to an end. I just need to stay aware of what is happening, and nature will take care of itself in a short time.

I just recently had a break through. Saturday I felt the crash comming. I went out in the woods, cleared my head, and re-examined the negative thought that came up while I was in the house. The thought was total B.S.! That was the end of that! I even recovered some of the rush from the day before. Nature is good medicine!


When I first became aware of the light, and started moving into the light so to speak, I overcompensated. I rejected the dark, sealed my eyes to its presence, and pretended that perfection was totally white.
Sounds like what I went through when I did the Born again Christian thingy in early adulthood.


but it is sometimes necessary to find the hidden gems in the dark, like a spelunker in an abandoned mine,
Wow!, another dream! And I flipped right to it! The gold energy dream!!!That was a really cool dream, I will re-read it. Thanks! You know I really don't have very many of those, the ones that leave you with a warm glow when you wake up. That one was very special.

Thanks for the additional insights. I only have a handful of entries where I either sketched, or did artwork around dreams, so I am glad that a part of me knew the sketch was important. I may have failed the geek test (I was so dissapointed when I saw the little red x), but there it was at the bottom, good enough! :wink:

Ouroboros, I forgot to mention that I absolutely love your avatar! :D

Ouroboros
17th November 2008, 04:02 PM
Ouroboros, I forgot to mention that I absolutely love your avatar! :D

Hehe, thank you! Thunderstorms are one of my most favorite things ever...specifically, lightning storms. :D I could watch lightning for hours and hours and never get tired of it.

sdbl731
17th November 2008, 07:06 PM
Without the destructive forces gobbling up the unnecessary, there was no room to create and appreciate the new in my life, everything just took on the same bland experiences.
Reminds me of the dialectic process we talked about in Humanities last year during our unit on Romanticism - your quote is almost verbatim what our teacher told us (of course, yours is more down to earth / understandable by a layman).

I think I got lost in the moment there, sorry for the stream of consciousness babble. I haven't thought along these lines in a while and I find it strangely refreshing.
I personally enjoy your stream of consciousness "babble" - keep it coming :D!

Andy

sdbl731
17th November 2008, 07:25 PM
Ouroboros, I forgot to mention that I absolutely love your avatar! :D

Hehe, thank you! Thunderstorms are one of my most favorite things ever...specifically, lightning storms. :D I could watch lightning for hours and hours and never get tired of it.
Well then, another picture of lightning is appropriate... (I took it myself :D)
[attachment=0:2hbbnn7z]lightningsky.jpg[/attachment:2hbbnn7z]

Andy

Sparkwielder
18th November 2008, 03:41 AM
I^2(R) Porn! I just love it!!!! I have a folder just for lightning photos! The last storm we had here was the best I had seen in a long time. There was a lot of that cloud to cloud stuff that had a much longer duration than typical cloud to ground strikes. We don't seem to get them as often as we did in the 80s. Probably due to climate change. I have to be thankful now everytime I just get the rain and nothing else. I also love to sit outside and watch thunderstorms! Even when I was a young child, and had a phobia of electricity, I used to run outside at the first rumble of thunder! That just makes no sense!


I personally enjoy your stream of consciousness "babble" - keep it coming !
I concur! Of course I do a lot of that myself.


Sparkwielder, it is cool that you can reflect with others on these experiences and try and make some sense of all the weirdness by cross referencing your views with others. Of all the tricks I have learned for my own development, being open to different perspectives has been of the greatest benefit to me personally, though it is rare to find people in everyday life who feel comfortable opening up on this level. Maybe I just look intimidating or something
:o OMG, I thought that was the whole purpose of these forums!


I get the whole god in the center of being thing - its a powerful feeling but it is also an almost scary feeling, that you know it can't last, there are still loose ends which you know will drag you back down. I hate that contradiction in me, but there it is, its a challenge I have to overcome.
I try to live in the moment, and enjoy the experience while it lasts, and then suffer the consequences later. To do otherwise would be like dreading Monday mornings on Friday evenings. Why screw up what could be a good weekend?


I think I like the rush of the high feeling so much that I see the crash coming, but I don't care. Like knowing that getting drunk feels great, but I will suffer for a week.
I was pondering this afternoon, about people who suffer from certain mental illnesses. I was wondering if people could actually get addicted to mental illness, like a drug addiction. I was going to play around with this idea with Google, but I played with my bonfire instead. Maybe tomorrow.


I feel uncomfortable in heavily urban environments
Me too. I literally shut down in that environment. Some people thrive, and grow in it, and can't live without it, but I find it crippling.


Until I learned to force myself to see the light in the darkness, I could wallow in a dark depression for years at a time and indeed did, any laughs I may have had during those times were faked for social survival. It's a dog eat dog world, no one likes a depressed loser ruining all the fun right? So I did fake a lot of emotion just to get by, and my resulting experiences were as meaningless as the fake emotions I put into them.
I hate parties and crowds, and I will do my best to avoid both. Being phoney just to survive just takes too much energy out of me. Though I love the taste of Jack Daniels, I hate the way alcohol makes me feel. More people feel like you and I than they are willing to admit, and alcohol seems to be the tool for this, but I just don't have the right chemistry for it.


...a golden thread, so rare and beautiful, woven through the tapestry of an otherwise mundane and ordinary life, which gives life meaning and gives us something to hold onto and seek more of.
This is exactly what gave true meaning to mine. I think one of my challenges, and one of the reasons I am so interested in metaphysics, is that I wan't to feel that connection at least more often, and for longer durations. You can't possibly know that there is more to life than the physical unless you experience it firsthand. Short glimpses, as I have experienced, just isn't enough for me. I do feel that my "baseline" is slowly comming up though. It helps to keep a journal. I do it for the purpose of showing myself how rediculous I am when I start to doubt. Not foolproof though. I got so angry, and depressed ten years ago that I burned one of them. What a dumbass! :oops:

I really don't share this stuff as easily as you might think. Remember that I am hideing behind a screen name, and a little hint of ♥♥♥♥♥♥ discharge (St Elmo's fire) :wink: People would lock me up if I talked like this! I sort of feel forced into it by a desire to grow on a spiritual and emotional level. The only one that I have come out of the Astral closet with is my Mom, and she doen't like to talk about spiritual stuff, especially since my dad died. Something must have happened, but she is very secretive. The screaming (nightmares) she does at night scares the bejeezus out of me, and makes me very suspicious. I can't condemn her for being secretive, there is a lot that I haven't told her.


I think I got lost in the moment there
:lol:

Sparkwielder
18th November 2008, 04:22 PM
Well, I kept a journal of thoughts and feelings at the height of my madness. I wrote everything down, and it was some super nasty horrible stuff. I read it a few months later and felt horrified at myself, it was like I was having a dual-personality thing, I couldn't relate to the feelings but I knew some part of me felt that way. It really helped to review it so I could recognise this part of me and try and bring myself back together. Several years later, I did tear the pages up and burn them in a small ritual, part of cleansing the demons of the past, and it closed the book on that chapter of my life. Part of me wanted to hang onto it for posterity, but overall I felt it was necessary to purge my hold on this dark past. It's there in my mind, it's pattern is on my soul, I no longer feel the need to project it out into the world. It was a good feeling to finally let the past go.

That was a very positive thing that you did! Very good idea. Before I moved here, I threw away, and burned certain personal items for exactly the same reason. It was not out of anger the way I burned up my journal, but as a sacred ritual initiation into my new journey, and closing the previous chapter as you mentioned. My "Higher Self" once told me something similar to what you said. Based on what I was told, that journal that you burned is recorded somewhere else on a higher plane, and even if it is filled with negative junk, it is somehow having a positive effect on all of us. For that reason, I was told not to share what I was being told at that time with the physical realm. #1 because it is recorded in a "spiriual realm" and #2 because it is subject to distortion, and corruption on the physical plane. I intuit that it is ok to share that just that part of it, but I am not certain that I expressed it in a way that makes sense. Probably the "Astral Library,or Database" is what I am talking about.


Like I have said, I have rarely found anyone open to these discussions, outside this forum of course, so it is a breath of fresh air to be talking to you on this level. Considering we're more or less complete strangers and we're already sharing personal stuff, it's a proud testament to the wonders of modern technology, or something

The internet is absolutely essential to me in this regard, especially where I live now. I am of the generation that knows what it is like to have all kinds of strange events, and thoughts happen in my life, and have no way of reaching out to see if I am not alone! The internet is important to the evolution of mankind even though a lot, if not most of it is corrupt and distorted. It seems to be a tarnished mirror image of something that exists in a more pure form somewhere else.


breath of fresh air to be talking to you on this level
It is for me too. It's something I have desired for a long time!


Even now people don't know how to take it. People from the past especially, who like to see me as the science geek.
I am going through a phase right now where I just would rather be doing other things, rather than making lightning with very expensive components that suddenly blow up! My geeky friends don't understand it either. They think that something is wrong with me, or I am depressed or something, but I am just persuing more outdoor activities, and crafts at this time. I always go through phases, rather than multitasking with my interests. I have to put 100% into my activities, and follow where my interests take me.

Fish
18th November 2008, 04:46 PM
We can only hope that someday soon these conversations will be taking place on an everyday basis with everyone and not just within ceratin communities.

Sparkwielder
18th November 2008, 05:54 PM
Fish wrote:
We can only hope that someday soon these conversations will be taking place on an everyday basis with everyone and not just within ceratin communities.


+1

I agree completely.

Maybe when TV stops working... people might actually be forced to deal with each other and themselves.


More people around my future bonfires sounds like a fine idea! Wish you all could have been there last night :) and especially my Mother she is a Game Show Network junkie now - every night! The problem is, when she had to do without TV for weeks at a time when we first moved here, she became impossible to live with, just like someone going through narcotics withdrawl! From a rational scientific veiwpont this makes no sense.

The evidence is too overwhelming to ignore in spite of what is "rational". If TV were to just one day vanish, the world will be in total chaos! They will most likely just replace it with booze and narcotics. It would be better if everyone could somehow wake up, and then do some kind of detox - a slow weaning process, and substitution with something positive like good conversation around a bonfire.


I think you're talking about the Akashic Library
Yes, that's it.


I wonder what the purer form is though
The ending of that tool video sort of popped up in my brain as I read that!


Things change, people change, just go with the flow
:D There is an echo in here :D My "Higher Self" unfortunately had to repeat that to me several times before I got it, because my friends were echoing what my own rational mind was telling me (internal conflict). I knew I was doing the right thing for myself, but...

:shock: :shock: Alex, you changed!!! Wha happenened? :shock: :shock:
Have you xended atomic forces, or was your isotope unstable? :lol:

Sparkwielder
18th November 2008, 06:09 PM
Anyway... It's really nice to make your acquaintance Mr Wielder. I've got some other adminy duties to attend to now and I hope we talk again soon

Thanks again for sharing your insights with me. This has been a real pleasure!

sdbl731
20th November 2008, 01:32 AM
Thats a great pic up there, did you set it up or did you get lucky?
A little bit of both, I guess - I set up my camera in "continuous mode" and held down the button until I got the picture. It took about 200 pictures before getting the shot of the lightning - takes all the magic out of it, doesn't it?

Andy

Ouroboros
20th November 2008, 01:41 AM
A little bit of both, I guess - I set up my camera in "continuous mode" and held down the button until I got the picture. It took about 200 pictures before getting the shot of the lightning - takes all the magic out of it, doesn't it?

Andy

Not for me, cuz it's still a badass picture. :twisted:

sdbl731
20th November 2008, 02:35 AM
A little bit of both, I guess - I set up my camera in "continuous mode" and held down the button until I got the picture. It took about 200 pictures before getting the shot of the lightning - takes all the magic out of it, doesn't it?

Andy

Not for me, cuz it's still a badass picture. :twisted:
Thanks :D!

Andy

Sparkwielder
21st November 2008, 01:51 PM
Andy,

What make and model is your camera?
I would like to try it when I get a new camera.
I presently have the Olympus C4000, and I get frustrated with this camera when just taking normal pictures of non-moving subjects. I hate this camera! I got it because I loved one of their earlier models, obviously their quality has gone down the tubes.

sdbl731
23rd November 2008, 04:29 PM
Andy,

What make and model is your camera?
I would like to try it when I get a new camera.
I presently have the Olympus C4000, and I get frustrated with this camera when just taking normal pictures of non-moving subjects. I hate this camera! I got it because I loved one of their earlier models, obviously their quality has gone down the tubes.
I have a Canon PowerShot G9 - not the latest in the G-series anymore, given that Canon came out with the G10, but I think it's very useful for general photography for those who don't want to lug around a DSLR but still want the benefits of manual exposure control and control over the ISO setting (which for this camera you shouldn't set above 200 if you want relatively noise-free pictures). But I think that a lot of cameras have continuous mode, so I would do some shopping around to find the camera that's right for you. Good luck!

Andy