Spiritual Assassin

[universal_mystic]

I'd like to post another dream which has stuck in my mind for years as it had a very physical effect (a huge headache) for over a day.

I was some sort of spiritual assassin and I had to go into an 'amoury' to make sure I was fully protected before I went on my mission. This amoury had gothic style windows high up and the top bits folded down to let in the air. There were all sorts of weapons and amour on the walls, but my armour was..... wait for it...... a twin set and pearls! This apparently allowed us (the other assassins) to move undetected to our target areas.

Anyway the dream then shifted to a glass building where i was told my target and where i could find 'her'. I was told I had to go to Brighton. I have no idea why it should have been Brighton. Its a small seaside town in England. I later learnt that Alistair Crowley was buried there apparently.

The dream then moved to a green field with hedges round and I met a man dressed in a monk's brown habit at an altar (not christian). He told me I had missed her and that I had to go to a different time shift period.

I was then in a place that looked a bit like my local shopping centre but also a bit like a Roman forum with an open centre area and corridors going off at the sides. There was another altar and this time my target was there. I had an atheme in my hands and I 'killed' her. I was kneeling down on the ground and remember looking up and seeing another assassins knees in my line of sight. I could see the 'blood' on my hands.

I had the worst headache I've ever had for a day after this. Any suggestions? Was I time travelling? It was a really disturbing dream as I'm not a really violent person and to dream I'd killed someone was really unpleasant.

[ButterflyWoman]

Wow, how bizarre! A twin set and pearls? I'm totally freaked out!

(Sorry, just my weird and sometimes annoying sense of humour. I haven't got anything at all helpful to say, I'm sorry to admit. I hope I made you smile, though.)

[universal_mystic]

Yeah its always made me chuckle and feel a bit purplexed.

hope someone else has some insights, its a dream I've remembered for years

[sleeper]

if you regret doing it, why did you go through with it?

[universal_mystic]

I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean

[sleeper]

you said that the dream is disturbing because you killed somebody but that disturbs you.

My question is twofold:

1. When you killed "her" in the dream, what were you thinking, feeling and why?

2. Now, remembering the dream, you say that it "disturbs" you. What specifically disturbs you? is it guilt, or shock, or something else?

[universal_mystic]

Well, like most people I've been brought up to think that killing someone is not really socially acceptable. So to think I've killed someone (in a dream or otherwise) is not pleasant.

As to what I thought in the dream I think I was shocked that i had killed someone & shocked that this person 'needed' to be killed and also shocked because it seemed not real (I know I haven't killed anyone in 'real' life) but very almost real if that makes sense.

[CFTraveler]

I have sometimes had similar dreams (not in content, but in doing something I wouldn't do in 'real life') and then been horrified at it. I often wondered if this was some sort of literal interpretation of a reaction (how many times we say "I'll kill you if you do this") and the subconscious enacts the scenario? Another explanation is a repressed memory (or a 'past life' memory, if you believe it's possible) or a 'parallel life' memory? Yet another explanation is a suppressed impulse (the actual desire to have someone not be there) and the guilt that comes from that turning it into a highly symbolic dream.
There are other explanations and interpretations- do any of these resonate with you?

[universal_mystic]

Well looking back and not wanting to go into personal details there is the possiblitiy that my subconscious was giving me a message about a particular person that i needed to be wary of and only later found out why, particulalrly as they claimed to be in the dream as well, although I wasn't 'aware' of them.

Also the fact that I seemed to have travelled through time to 'do' this, the idea of past live memories does resonate as well.

[sleeper]

Well looking back and not wanting to go into personal details.....

personal details are often what dreams are all about. Often, dreams reveal our intentions which can be secret even to us (our conscious mind).

[universal_mystic]

I know, but I know the details I'm referring to and at this moment don't want to share them.

[sleeper]

that's fine, no pressure.

i think CFTraveler is right in saying it's a supressed impulse.

personally, i've killed many people in my dreams. In my past lives, I have memories of killing many people and in on other worlds besides earth - killing many other types of sentient beings.

i have no remorse about these things, and they're an entirely different topic. But in the past, when i had harbored much anger and resentment, and fear, I did dream often about harming the people that I resented.

What I found then is that guilt got in the way - I had to release my guilt, and look seriously at my intention to try to understand it. I had to take the time to heal my emotional pain, which was the only way to stop those kinds of dreams

[universal_mystic]

As a supressed impulse that would make a lot of sense, as later on (several years) the person I referred to did indeed cause me a vast amount of emotional pain and I did harbour a great amount of anger toward them and I even at one point felt like I wanted to cause them physical harm because of what they had done to me, but of course didn't take it further, only taking it out on our old bed with a couple of hammers, which made me feel a lot better :D