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View Full Version : My brother...the dream and the vision



Mike Dooley
27th June 2008, 04:32 AM
It's been exactly two weeks to the day now since I had this dream about my brother. I had a dream that he was injured. I just shrugged it off as one of those dreams that really don't mean anything. Well the next night rolls around and I have another dream about him. In this dream, my brother is on his death bed. I knew then that something was up. Usually though when I have a dream like this, I am usually the one in the dream, and it happens in real lfe to someone else.

Last Wednesday, I get a call from my Mom that my brother is sick. I figured that that was it, and nothing more. Sunday comes along, and I get an e-mail from my Mom saying that she is on her way up, and my brother has been admitted to the TCU ward at the hospital. No sooner than my Mom gets to the room, and my brother goes into cardiac arrest. Monday comes and goes, nothing major to report. My Mom stops down Tuesday, and gives me a heads up before she heads home. She says that he is real bad off. I get kinda worried, and don't know what to do. My brother and I have always been at odds with one another, so I really don't want to go see him. A friend of mine comes over and realizes what's going on, so we do a little partying. We get done and I'm kind of trashed, so I go in onto my bed to sleep it off for a while. When what appears in the window, is my brother's face in the leaves of the tree outside. Now that is pretty strange. i mark it up to being intoxicated, and pass out for a while. I wake up, and am in a better frame of mind. I get up, go to the restroom, and come back to my bed. I look outside, and his face is still there in the leaves. I knew then that I had to put my feelings aside, and go see him. When I get there, he looks two steps away from deaths door. He has some sort of infection, and they have him on pain meds and an antibiotic drip. He looks exactly how he did in my dream. He lays there for a while and finally wakes up. He is pretty close to being dead, and all's he can do is run his mouth about this, that, and everything in between. So I stay for a while, and politely excuse myself. Well now the call comes in today that they are putting in a pick line, and calling in an infectious disease expert. The doctors can't figure out what he has. I can name a few things, but that would get me banned.

I hate this thing of mine sometimes, because I am usually left with that same old feeling. Usually my premonitions are about someone that I care about, but now I am at a loss for words.

What is really strange is that my great uncle just died 2 1/2 weeks ago.

CFTraveler
27th June 2008, 04:37 AM
The sad thing is that it really is about someone you care about, but the anger is blocking you from feeling it. I hope you can resolve this before he dies.

Mike Dooley
27th June 2008, 04:40 AM
The sad thing is that it really is about someone you care about, but the anger is blocking you from feeling it. I hope you can resolve this before he dies.

In this case, it is on him to resolve our issues. He has been a thorn in my side for my entire life. He think that there is nothing wrong with him. Its the rest of the world that has a problem.

CFTraveler
27th June 2008, 04:47 AM
The sad thing is that it really is about someone you care about, but the anger is blocking you from feeling it. I hope you can resolve this before he dies.

In this case, it is on him to resolve our issues. He has been a thorn in my side for my entire life. He think that there is nothing wrong with him. Its the rest of the world that has a problem.
But the thing is that it is you the one with the anger, and he can't take it from you-only you can do that. You can expect the impossible or try to realize that he can't or won't help who he is. And if he dies, that anger is something that's going to stay there until you can't take the weight of it any more. It's not really about him, it's about you.
This is not about you resolving issues with your brother- this may be impossible- this is about you and how the anger you have inside is affecting your life. No more, and no less.
I can't finish this convo tonight, have to go but I wish you peace.

Mike Dooley
27th June 2008, 04:53 AM
The sad thing is that it really is about someone you care about, but the anger is blocking you from feeling it. I hope you can resolve this before he dies.

In this case, it is on him to resolve our issues. He has been a thorn in my side for my entire life. He think that there is nothing wrong with him. Its the rest of the world that has a problem.
But the thing is that it is you the one with the anger, and he can't take it from you-only you can do that. You can expect the impossible or try to realize that he can't or won't help who he is. And if he dies, that anger is something that's going to stay there until you can't take the weight of it any more. It's not really about him, it's about you.
This is not about you resolving issues with your brother- this may be impossible- this is about you and how the anger you have inside is affecting your life. No more, and no less.
I can't finish this convo tonight, have to go but I wish you peace.

I've tried to put it down, and empty myself of it, but everytime I do, I am filled backup with more of the same.
This Life is hard for me. I am constantly being tested by those around me. I can't figure out why I have to battle, so much. Its like I am being prepared for something, but what, I do not know.

ButterflyWoman
29th June 2008, 06:57 PM
I've tried to put it down, and empty myself of it, but everytime I do, I am filled backup with more of the same.
Yup, I know that feeling. You just have to be dilligent and eventually you get to the bottom of it. Trust me, I've had volcanoes of rage inside me, and it damn near killed me (and a few other people). It took a long time, but I did get rid of it.


This Life is hard for me. I am constantly being tested by those around me.
Me, too, from the moment I was conceived.


I can't figure out why I have to battle, so much. Its like I am being prepared for something, but what, I do not know.
Well, I don't know what you're being prepared for, but I can share some of the things I've learned from my rather horrendous childhood and early adulthood. Among them are compassion, forgiveness (of self and others), how to love (spiritual love, not "I like you a lot" love), how to heal myself (and probably others), how to see the material world as an illusion, and, most importantly, I've learned who I am, who I REALLY am. Apart from the idiot parents and the screwed up early adulthood and all of the muck I've had to wade through, totally apart from and above all of that, I know who I REALLY am, and now I'm learning what I'm really able to do. ;)