Terrified

[missythegayelf]

Okay, here's the situation. Every time I try to raise energy I tend to accidentally focus it on my spine and I'll start getting little shooting pains which totally freak me out and make me want to break it off. I'm terrified of accidentally raising my Kundalini. I've heard about the pros and cons and I have to say I want no part of all that. Perfectly happy at leaving it at energy work and occasional AP and lucid dreams.
I should also mention I have a crippling phobia of possession that I've dealt with my entire life and am currently having panic attacks every day and an almost constant anxiety hanging over me. Not that I believe ap leaves you vulnerable to possession, it's just a constant phobia.
It does no good to tell me that perhaps I'm just not ready to astral project and all that because I do it extremely often and always unintentionally, and in those cases I'm happy I did it but also in a state of some wild frenzy and fear AS I'm doing it, and it's usually all a big jumbled mess. I'm just trying to figure out how to get a grip on this and get over my fears of something out of my control happening. Anybody had this problem and overcome? Any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated. This is all just ruining my sanity.

[Korpo]

Hey, missy.

Perhaps you might consider changing your energy work. Leave energy raising out. Try for example this: Grab energy from above and let it sink all through your body and out at your feet. See how you like the feeling and if the "accidents" persist.

Also you might consider that the pains in your spine are not necessarily Kundalini raising but maybe blocks? How do they feel, can you give more detail?

When projecting, you might want to ask for help and protection by a guide, helper or whatever positive entity. When do these experiences happen? At night? Then ask for this help and protection before going to sleep.

You might want to consider meditation or emotional work of some sort in order to calm yourself and your worries. Or get a reading - maybe by someone here on the site - which place of your energy body your worry and fear emanates from and start working on that. Like an out-of-balance chakra.

Try doing affirmations while in trance, for example like this: "I accept there are things outside my control. I remain calm in face of the unknown. I remain centered and am well-protected at all times."

Take good care,
Oliver

[missythegayelf]

Thanks for your reply, Oliver. The pains are probably psychosematic because of my fear. I'm a known hypochondriac, so of course, every horrible thing that CAN happen to me WILL happen to me. And if the case is an out-of-balance chakra then I'd definately like to hear about it because getting rid of this anxiety would help me out in more aspects of my life than just my energy body work.
A major way to conquer fears are, of course, facing them. So I might just try full body energy raising or the technique that you described and instead of trying to avoid the spine area altogether (which inevitably leads to main energy work IN that specific area) I'll just try to focus on everything and hope I don't cause a spontaneous Kundalini raising. I'm pretty convinced I'll go off the deep end if it happens and lose control. But then again, I've read it rarely happens unless the person is ready for it.....

[ButterflyWoman]

Do you meditate? I highly recommend it for managing stress and related phobias.

Okay, that being said, I wanted to share that I've found some amazing healing through what appear to be past life memories (well, "other" life memories; I don't believe in past or present, but that's another discussion ;)). I've got a lot of pain of various kinds, much of it unexplained, and I've found some pretty remarkable relief from much of it.

What I do is concentrate on some physical pain that's troubling me, and I relax and meditate with the intention of "finding" the reason for it, including being open to past life memories. Sometimes the pain is totally mundane (such as I'll understand that I pulled a muscle or similar). Sometimes the pain is related to past memories from this lifetime. A few times, I've "stumbled" into other lives and found that the pain appeared to originate there. Once I addressed these memories, the pain subsided.

This is very weird, and I never used to believe in this sort of thing. I even had people tell me they'd undergone past life regression and found the reason for their pain and the pain was then relieved and I didn't believe it (I thought it was interesting, and I didn't scoff or anything, but I didn't really believe it). But then I tried it and ... maybe it's the power of suggestion, but I don't care. It seems to work, and that's all I need to know.

I believe that fears may originate and be dealt with the same way, such as your fear of possession. That fear has roots somewhere, I'm sure. If you can find it, you may be able to rid yourself of it. The same can be said of other persistent fears, as well.

I hope this is in some way helpful. It's kind of synchronous for me, because I was thinking about making a post about the healing and relief I've found from apparent past life memories, but I hesitated. Now here's the opportunity to share it, and it's even more or less in context and on topic. :)

May you find peace and healing.

[Korpo]

About losing control...

Ever saw the movie "Ice Age 2"? Scrat, the crazy little adorable squirrel is stuck on the wall of melting glazier. A small spurt of water erupts. It puts a hand on it. Another one erupts. It puts another hand on it. More and more erupt, and for the last one it has only its snout left. It fills up with the water spurting from that crack like a balloon and suddenly shoots off into the air. Very hiliariously, I might add... ;)

It's the same with trying to keep too much control. Faced with a world that seems frightening you start to try to control aspects of it, keeping all your bases covered. New things come up, and you try to prevent some of them. You're exerting more and more energy in trying to prevent change. Which leaves you in the end with no more energy to spend on anything, because you're already squandering on all these worries and attempts of controlling things. Suddenly, with a new change, everything comes crashing down, the actual losing of control you were afraid of to begin with.

How does this apply to your situation? Maybe you're investing a lot of your energy on worries and anxiety like I do. I tried very often and still do to control many aspects, worry beforehand, and yes, I have hypochondric tendencies, too. All these worries and anxieties ("What if...") eat up my energy and prevent me from using that energy and that awareness better. Worry and anxiety make sick and keep things in that should be released. I can still worry about things that happened years ago, now under the new topic of "What if I acted differently?" without any chance of that worry EVER improving anything.

I can recommend you the technique OW gave you to follow things to the source. You can also try the "Inner Dissolving" meditation from the meditation subforum. You just need one way to reclaim some of the energy your mind is expending somewhere else, on worrying and anxiety, and in the long run this continued reclaiming will help you get rid off the habit of expending it on worrying too much as well.

I'm not sure what these spinal spikes mean. Maybe they are just blockages in need to be resolved. Before tackling these, though, I would try to focus on working on the emotional chunks first. When you can ease your worries, a solution might present itself or the effects might lessen. This is surely preferrable to rushing forward into who-knows-what-experience.

Take good care,
Oliver

[quest4knowledge]

There is a singing group called Earth Wind and Fire aka The Elements, it is a black group and they talk about this in their music. The name of the song is Serpertine Fire, how fitting is that. Check it out.

[star]

Reiki is a useful tool for healing - heck, if you want to get started Google is your best friend. And more help can be given to you here on the boards in the form of attunement or information.

[alwayson4]

Okay, here's the situation. Every time I try to raise energy I tend to accidentally focus it on my spine and I'll start getting little shooting pains which totally freak me out and make me want to break it off. I'm terrified of accidentally raising my Kundalini. I've heard about the pros and cons and I have to say I want no part of all that. Perfectly happy at leaving it at energy work and occasional AP and lucid dreams.
I should also mention I have a crippling phobia of possession that I've dealt with my entire life and am currently having panic attacks every day and an almost constant anxiety hanging over me. Not that I believe ap leaves you vulnerable to possession, it's just a constant phobia.
It does no good to tell me that perhaps I'm just not ready to astral project and all that because I do it extremely often and always unintentionally, and in those cases I'm happy I did it but also in a state of some wild frenzy and fear AS I'm doing it, and it's usually all a big jumbled mess. I'm just trying to figure out how to get a grip on this and get over my fears of something out of my control happening. Anybody had this problem and overcome? Any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated. This is all just ruining my sanity.



you are way too worried. This is all normal. You will get shooting in the spine if you focus there. it is NOT kundalini.

[Aunt Clair]

Okay, here's the situation. Every time I try to raise energy I tend to accidentally focus it on my spine and I'll start getting little shooting pains which totally freak me out and make me want to break it off. I'm terrified of accidentally raising my Kundalini. I've heard about the pros and cons and I have to say I want no part of all that. Perfectly happy at leaving it at energy work and occasional AP and lucid dreams.
I should also mention I have a crippling phobia of possession that I've dealt with my entire life and am currently having panic attacks every day and an almost constant anxiety hanging over me. Not that I believe ap leaves you vulnerable to possession, it's just a constant phobia.
It does no good to tell me that perhaps I'm just not ready to astral project and all that because I do it extremely often and always unintentionally, and in those cases I'm happy I did it but also in a state of some wild frenzy and fear AS I'm doing it, and it's usually all a big jumbled mess. I'm just trying to figure out how to get a grip on this and get over my fears of something out of my control happening. Anybody had this problem and overcome? Any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated. This is all just ruining my sanity.
I don't subscribe to negative kundalini symptoms . I feel strongly that kundalini is not prevented but occurs naturally and can be excelerated but not avoided . I feel most people born after 1972 have had more than one flame which may have occurred without notice . As soon as the primary spinal column chakras are open , then kundalini will occur . The first flame is mild and unobtrusive . You might be having pre k events but it sounds like there is blockage which is evident by pain and anxiety . I suggest deep cleansing breathing , yoga and meditation .

Fear attracts negativity
Fear is ;
F alse
E vidence
A ssumed
R eal
I suggest that you learn about protection as much as you can absorb since you continue to project .
And I would suggest working on the mental issues i.e. panic attacks and anxiety before pursuing development actively .Counseling , dream therapy , forgiving and moving on , and acts of good karma are means towards this end . Calm meditation and protection are good goals for you until then .

[Astral Exorcist]

I had the same problem when I was over energized. You've got to give energy a brake. Don't do exercise. Eat junk food, watch tv and don't dare to get grounded in the out doors because you'll raise to much energy. I think this will help you "think" "things" "threw". Only for a while because I know you might hate this advice. But it really helps. Listen to aunt clair, she said the first kundalni flame is mild. If you talk yourself out of it. You'll know not to be afraid from a weak kundalini flame. To trigger your snake you would have to be working on root chakra and sacral chakra to activate your kundali. Stupidly I've learned about visualizing white fluid up the spine from some info on the Internet about a guru. I don't see this information harmful because you might be doing the same thing. The point is give it a brake. So you have space to think your decisions thoughtfully. Then go back into your energy craze.

[Ann]

Hi, how are you doing? I meant to reply to your post earlier, but I couldn't get logged into the forum for some reason.

I'm a little unclear about your concern about kundalini, if it's thinking of raising there will be unpleasent twisting sensations of pressure (pain) near the tailbone. There will also be crawling, tinkling sensations sort of like electrical shocks in the lower back. If it's a full rising, there will be a extremely powerful, freight train like experince that will (usually) propell you into the divine presence were you become integrated with IT. I found that there was massive amounts of anxiety, fear and guilt when my kundalini first arose.

I agree with Oliver, dealing with the emotional stuff is more important, leave off with the energy work for now.

I hope things are getting better for you. Be well and many blessings.