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White Wolf
30th August 2007, 03:52 AM
I had a strange experience several days ago that I lack confidence in my understanding of it.

I was going to do my usual incredibly verbose post like I usualy do, but i decided to instead just to include the most relevant facts. I don't want to take up too much time of anyone that would be willing to help me understand this. I can however provide very descriptive accounts if required.

I've been doing energy work for about a month now, almost everyday with few exceptions, sometimes multiple times a day. A couple of days ago, I was working on my back. I had been having trouble with it, even noticing muscle spasms quite frequently. I though I had a big blockage there that would take some time to get out, so I had been trying to move slowly and gently, as I had already experience a limp in my walk once from working on my foot too much.

Well, I was digging around, and notice something wierd. the blockage wasn't like other blockages. It seem to evade direct attention, though I could feel the pain. It was quite strange. This got me curious, and I've found energy work to be somewhat intuitive thus far, so I decided to feel around with a little more gusto. I used a little trick where I kinda "project" in my minds eye over my energy body. Its a visualization techinique I use when TI isn't working that well. Well, with my "projected body", I looked over my energy body to get a closer look.

I started digging around and found a big lump. I pulled on it a bit and it didn't hurt (usualy this would hurt if I was pulling on an energetic structure). I looked really closely, and notice that it was black, lumpy, and extened some distance along my spinal area near the low to mid back. Well, I really pulled on it then, and it started to move around, but it couldn't go anywhere. in fact, it was trying not to go anywhere. there were tentacles extending from it through my abdomen and chest. Well, I started to get concerned then.

I started wrapping a silvery cord to bind it up on itself and this helped, then I started to cut at the apendages severing several of them and started to lift it out of my back. I conjured fire throughout my energy body and it loosed it grip, and I started to try and syncronize my vibrations and raise them to irritate it.

Well, It started to come free and after some large amount of mental work, I was able to lift it free. It had several dozen if not hundreds of tenticles coming off of a main body that was shaped like I squash and a long slinder neck that followe dup my spine and a head that was lodged in the back of head where my spine connects.

I threw it a few feet away in the same mental room, and consumed it with fire until it stopped moving. After smoke break, I went to my computer and started looking up astral parasties. I came across some descriptions which seemed to fit with what I had experienced. I could feel some slightly painful, but relieved, energy movement sensations on my back where it was. (The areas is going to need a lot of work.)

The whole time I could still see the critter laying in my mental room, not moving. I started to feel sad for it, and was reading that you could transmute them into higher vibration and send them on in divine light. I opened a column of light and raised the entities vibration and it turned into a brilliant dove and flew into the light. I was satisfied that I had solved the mystery.

Well, I kept reading and I ran across a site that mentioned some descriptions of the forms that many of these parasites take. One on the list was a snake with a dragon's head.

I had had some experience with these guys, as I has believed that they were helping my heal and clean my energy body. I first encountered some white versions of these only a couple of days after I started energy work and they were instrumental in opening up a flow in my feet and eventually helped me form some of my first pathways. I had been convinced that these were a form of healing/cleaning kundalini that you could conjure to help you with growing your energy body. I felt no ill will fomr these guys, though I was a little concerned when I first experienced them. Those guys ate up a bunch of the negative energy that I had when i first started energy work.

So, I'm confused. There's so much I didn't include here, but its so hard to tie all this stuff together and not write a book on the full experience. I tried lighting an inner fire again to see if there were any other hitchhikers along for the ride. I found a few small entities, that may have been those little snakes, and transmuted them and sent them on thier way, but I just don't know.

Now, I just don't know what to make of it all. I still feel a little tension in my back (removing that thing helped a lot, but it didn't get it all) and I'm wonding if I have more parasties still draining me. I mean that big one was very imbedded in my back, which doesn't really fit the discription of a parasite that attaches itself to your aura and is easy to get off. I had the distinct impression this thing had been there a great long while.

And thinking back of the past few weeks it has been getting harder and harder to feel energy senation and feel like I was making progress of any sort.

So, to break it down, what I'm really asking is:

1. Do you guys think that those snakes turned into that thing? Or was it alwasy there?
2. Do you think the snakes were helping as I believed?
3. Could have they helped clear the negative energy, but as they consumed all of that they started to feed on my energy too?
4. How do I deal with the problem best if it is a problem?

Hmm, I guess I failed on the whole "make it short and sweet" goal I had. I know its disjointed, I jumped a round a lot, but I think I made enough sense. As always, if you guys want some more information, I got spades. there was so much information that it hard to put into a small bite sized post. Again, I'm sorry for the length.

MysticSage816
30th August 2007, 11:44 PM
That sounds pretty crazy :shock: I just started so I can't really help but I decided to stop in and send my best wishes to you on figuring this out :D

James

CFTraveler
31st August 2007, 02:31 PM
All I can tell you is that I'd follow what you did with a salt bath.
I really couldn't tell you- You have to see how you feel after it's gone, and if you feel better, then it wasn't good for you.
I recommend you not give anything permission to latch on to you- if it's beneficial it won't. If you make a firm decision to not allow anything to 'connect', and you still get more, you know it's not a good thing- good entities respect your boundaries.

White Wolf
31st August 2007, 05:28 PM
I was discussing this last night with some friends and the more I talk about it the more I think these were two unrelated phenomenon. I had and still have the distinct impression that the snakes did a lot of good, and weren't attaching themselves or draining me in anyway. They helped me in a rough spot clearing up some major negative energy accumulation from years of neglect, and opened up major pathways throughout my energy circuits. I can't dismiss that.

If they were the cause of the big parasite on my back, I think that maybe they took on too much negative energy, and needed help getting out of my body. I really don't think they were harmful, but quite the opposite. And the more I consider how I feel about it, the more I believe this.

The snakes had a few interesting characteristic, and I find it strange that know one else has experience these guys. They were right there waiting to be used after not even a week of energy work. When I needed help the most.

1. I'm not entirely sure, but I had the distinct impression that they existed separate from myself, despite the fact that I "conjured" them to me.
2. While I could determine whether they were innately good or bad, I felt their purpose was to grow and heal the energy body.
3. The seems to know where to go and work, despite me giving direction.
4. There was a whole swarm of them, not just a handful. I'd bee in serious trouble if all of them had been parasites. We are talking hundreds over the course of a few weeks, several dozen per session many times.
5. I was initially concerned about them after my first session with them. That they still lingered inside me. I found out later that they continued thier work even after I had stopped for meditation. They also seemed to disipate on thier own after some time.
6. They didn't come to me, unless I conjured them and set them to work.

The thing on my back, the parasite, as I'm calling it, was something much different. I was bolbus and ugly, and didn't seem to have much of any awareness. The thing that doesn't jive with parasite descriptions is that it wasn't stuck to my aura. It was imbedded in my energy body quite firmly. It's body resided where my spine would be, if the energy body had a spine, not on the suface of my back. The tendrils spead throughout all various parts of my body, mostly wrapping around my navel and heart chakras, but also my root, subnavel, various areas along my back, my pelvis, inside my head, and neck.

Thats thing was "in there" and had been there a while. Which has me concerned as to what it actually is, and what was its purpose, and why it was there in the first place.

White Wolf
31st August 2007, 05:36 PM
Oh, and about the after effects so to speak. Well, the tension I had been noticing, and spasms that were increasing along my back while I am doing energy work have decrease drasticly. I can't maintian much flow anymore along my back. I'm having random sharp needle like pains in the area where it was on my back, as well as in my navel and heart chakra areas.

I had the impression that there were more in my body that I haven't found yet, but I'm leaning now to the idea that theres just more of the same entity/phenomenon left imbedded inside of my. Particularly, in my pelvis/low spine area, lower chakras, and inside mixed up in the complicated mess that is the third eye/crown structure, especially the side around my ears, and lower skull.

It has me a little concerned, ofcourse. That's why I'm just hoping someone else has similar experience.

Rhone
31st August 2007, 10:14 PM
White Wolf,

You may be interested in a book called Alchemical Healing (http://www.amazon.com/Alchemical-Healing-Spiritual-Physical-Transformational/dp/1591430151/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-7493415-1743925?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1188597875&sr=8-1) by Nicki Scully. It is very ecclectic; seems like a blend of shamanistic and alchemical/hermetic healing practices.

I mention it because she talks about using spirit allies, including animal totems. One of them is Cobra, which is good for helping with spinal problems and likes gobbling up tumors and other pockets of negative energy. If your intuition about the snakes is right, it could be a spirit ally similar to Cobra that you have somehow drawn to you.

DM*Cubic
1st September 2007, 07:42 PM
White Wolf, I've really been on a kick lately about using methods aside from NEW to clear up my energy blockages. It's tough to realize that you have a parasite attached to you - seeing or feeling some ugly creature violating the most sacred personal territory you have is nasty. But feeling such revulsion, I think, only contributes to dwelling on the issue and fretting too much about it. The following is an untested idea, but I think it will absolutely work if done with the right intent and attitude... and if it doesn't, it's a good exercise for the purpose of examining fear and disgust anyway, which can only do good.

Spend some time looking up pictures of ugly, reptilian animals like the one you have in your spine. Pictures of parasites, worms, tentacled sea creatures, mythical beasts, and anything else that you find symbolically analogous to your unwanted guest all count. Print out some of the worst pictures if you can, and say out loud so the universe can hear you that you want the spirit of your neg to saturate those pictures, so you see a part of it in each and every one of them. I would then sit down with the pictures and a pad of paper and write about how they make me feel. "This tapeworm disgusts me because it's stupid, vile, and knows only how to drain and sicken its host. This snake fills me with instinctual fear, and I know it's stupid, but I have it anyway. This giant squid terrifies me because it's a primitive animal on par with the trilobite in terms of sentience, and yet it could devour me and two friends in a single, stupid bite. Its tentacles are wet, slimy, and completely horrifying; it's monstrous." Make sure to pretty much exhaust your negativity here. Having voiced your intent to let those pictures personify your neg, you are speaking directly to it. Now look at what you're saying and see if you can reframe these statements in any way. Does it make any sense to be disgusted by a tapeworm? It just is what it is and does what it does. There's no more reason to be disgusted by it than by a footstool. This doesn't mean we should avoid finding it disgusting - we always will - it's just that our disgust becomes arbitrary and impersonal when we examine and reframe it. It quits dominating us and restricting our freedom to behave rationally as the situation demands it.

Doing this ritual should have as a consequence that your energy body begins to detach from the neg as much as your mind does. The two act in synch - there is no action done by one that is not mirrored by the other. The neg should, if my intuition is correct, have a hard time hanging onto an energy body that does not hang on to *it.* It will have no footholds. After you do this ritual, your attitude toward it will become one of understanding and acceptance of the neg's nature, which is to want to victimize you - but you will be full of resolute authority that will utterly deny it a point to affix itself to. "Sorry, buddy, I know you want to suck my energy out, but you cannot. The very universe now decrees it, as I am free of fear and revulsion."

You could probably conclude the work of the ritual, also, by burning the pictures of the animals you printed out after you have gone through the above process enough times to feel you are ready to set your fear of the neg behind you one hundred percent. Do so ceremonially - each one you burn is, symbolically, one of the neg's tentacles vaporizing peacefully and making space for your energies to flow again. Feel no pity for the neg, but feel no vindictiveness either. It's simply an enemy in your way and it must be removed.

Good luck and best regards,
Chuck

CFTraveler
1st September 2007, 07:50 PM
I think your idea is a form of sympathetic magic and if you do it right it should work. You could also finish off by being the impresonal observer as described in 'The Power of Now' and observe your reaction to it. 'Look at me, I'm repulsed by this entity'. I do think having this 'impersonal' reaction will make you a whole lot less tasty.
IMO. :lol:

DM*Cubic
1st September 2007, 08:13 PM
If you'll permit me to add more to my last post, I would suggest you do this ritualistically as an actual act of magic. This is an outline of how I would do it, but do as you see fit; the ritual is for *you.* The following assumes you've found the pictures you are going to use and have them printed out, or at least displayed in front of you somehow.

1. Open with a banishing ritual. If you're not familiar with how to banish, all you need to do is ground yourself somehow and formalize your intent to perform your ritual unimpeded by any force, internal or external to you. You will be intuitively drawn to do something like this: call on God to strengthen you; call on your higher self to grant you the intuitive capacity to perform the best ritual possible for that moment; arrange the items in your ritual space, wherever it may be, so it feels "right" to you. Do whatever you feel purifies your space and simultaneously calms your mind and steels your will in preparation for the work ahead.

2. Take the pictures you found and consecrate them, making them living symbols of the neg inside you. Voice your intent purely - by this I mean from the heart. Intuition will guide you here. The key is to *speak.* Speaking one's intent is very, very powerful magic in and of itself - it is an abstract idea existing on higher planes filtering down until it is brought forth into the world as material vibrations by you. If I were doing this step, I would personally sit with a picture, thinking of what to name it and binding it verbally to some aspect of the problem at hand that immediately comes to mind. "Since you are nameless, I will call you Pinraz, my borders violated. And since you too are nameless, I will call you Salazar, my disgust and revulsion. And since you also have no name, I will call you Danrook, my fear of progress impeded." Yes, yes, I know - this sounds totally, ridiculously stupid. But as soon as you do that all-important banishing step, you will feel a lot less silly and the whole thing will take on a mythic scope, hence the epic-sounding verbiage. Don't underestimate the power of this unique headspace for getting things accomplished. And of course, any attitude shift that gets you into a position that you feel is strong for accomplishing your aim is a good one. It doesn't have to mean that you suddenly start talking like Gandalf the Grey - but if it does, that's a good sign that you are in "cosmic authority mode."

3. Let the pictures speak to you. Relax your mind - don't force it to blank out; instead free your subconscious mind to make associations and note them. If your mind could talk, it would be saying something like this: "I am gazing at Pinraz... fear. An image of a giant sea snake devouring a ship. Bodies struggling in the water. A smiling man in a suit with an unsigned contract. A tentacle wrapping around my neck." Let this go on for a while for one of the pictures.

4. Write about what you experienced arising in your mind. Now use that to write down some concrete associations. "Pinraz made imagery arise in me, and now I am going to explore what it said to me. What could all of this mean?" Get it out.

5. Repeat 3 and 4 with all your named pictures.

6. When you feel like you're done again, banish again, this time in a way that closes things off. You want to get back to earth and your day-to-day mode of existence. Say a few words that voice your intent to cease the ritual and return to daily function, maybe performing actions like rearranging your space as your intuition guides you. Have a good laugh, especially.

That's how I'd do it, so you go ahead and make any necessary changes. Good luck getting all this done, and best wishes in the future White Wolf!
-Chuck

White Wolf
2nd September 2007, 05:13 AM
I like to thank everyone for thier advice so far.

Its been nearly a week now, and the entity on my back has not returned. Not that I really expected it to. My gut tells me it wasn't a parasite after some fair amount of close reasoning and also agrees with my intuition. Some of which I've included above.

So now I'm at the point where I want to know more before I proceed further. My curiousity has gotten the better of me, and now I want to try and figure this out. I feel the only way to experiment with it, and see how it reacts, maybe outline a few features or attributes, so to speak.

Keep in mind that I don't think the thing is evil. I'm not scared by it. I was suprised to see it there. It is harming me, but I don't think it is aware of what harm is. When I say harm, I' mostly meaning that it is disrupting flow in my energy body, not so much draining me. Which is another reason why I don't think its a parasite. I think it is alive and that it has at least vague feelings that I should respect. When I'm ready to get rid of the rest of it, I won't use fire on it, I'll just isolate it and covert it to light and send it on it's way to a higher energy.

I'm really just talking out loud that this point, for feedback on the process, as well as documentation for others who may have or are now experiencing a similar situation.

I beginning to think of it a like a vine, tree roots, or other such thing, except with identifiable emotions. So, really, now that I think about it. Its like astral flora as opposed to the astral fauna we mostly hear about. Like a plant, but capable of a small ability to move and react to stimuli and a weak emotional system. (Either that or my weak perceptive ability to tune in to its emotions.)

I want to see those sharp pains are it regrowing, or dying, because as I said, I don't think I got all of it. There are a few things I want to find out.

1. Will it regrow in the same pattern.
2. Will it change in nature due to a higher quality of energy, and reduce negative envoronment, that I've had since starting energy work.
3. Is it symiotic? Is it giving me something in return for its presence?
4. Is it dying? Have I irrepairably harmed it?
5. Can I nuture it? Make it beautiful once more?
6. Where did it come from?
7. Does it have a name?
8. Did it come from a previous life? (As I said, it seemed very old.)
9. What is its purpose?

White Wolf
5th September 2007, 09:36 PM
I think I broke something. :P

I'm unable to feel much energy movement sensations throughout my whole body. Its very difficult to visualize my energy body too and I've been sleeping a lot.

I do have a question though.

I experienced what felt like chakras along the front of my body, maybe an inch or two inside. I assumed I had found my chakras, but after looking around on diagrams it seems they are almost always centered along the spine. I'm very certain I felt strong pulsing sensations when I first stated, which was the basis for my conclusion that those were my chakras.

Is this a common experience?

CFTraveler
5th September 2007, 09:40 PM
Yes. It's my opinion that chakras as energy exchange ports are located on the spine but they 'open' to the front, like a 'dixie cup'. I believe Aunt Clair has a drawing somewhere of how the energy flows this way, and I think why flowers are used to represent them- because the way the energy feels. So yes, I think you're not off the bat on this one.