A bear in the living room

[Korpo]

Today before waking up I dreamt of a bear in the living room I had to tend to.

It was a "teenage" brown bear - not big enough to be really dangerous, but big enough to have a nasty bite and some strength. Somehow the bear had got into the living room, I think it was the living room of the house I grew up in, but it was empty and random items were strewn across the floor. It was my job to watch the bear. The bear ran in circles and was angry, so I kept up with him but out of distance and talked. Talked to someone else, maybe? Or to the bear? Dunno. The bear was angry, and tried to lash at me, he was furious and needed constant watching. I stumbled over the items lying around to keep up with the animal.

Then something interesting happened: The less I talked the more calm the bear grew. I realised that and as I fell silent the bear became calm and I had the feeling the bear problem was gone.

My mind was already ticking in analysis during the process of waking up.

1) On the evening before I had listened to a CD explaining the Taoist meditation process. It explained how the goal of meditation was not contemplation, but to ease the mind into a state of no-thought and peace.
2) The bear, and I feel this to be true, is the animal in the Five Animal Frolics associated with the Wood element or the liver. The liver is the organ associated with the negative emotion of anger.
3) The living room from my youth represents that the problem described is something from my past I have not grown out of yet.
4) The items in the living room seem to be part of my inner landscape. Their disorder and my struggling with them represent my ongoing struggle for dealing with myself. The CD had also said that in order to find peace the inner world needs to be mastered and unobstructed.
5) The "going in circles" represents both a feeling of being stuck (with anger) and the fact that this is an ongoing process of development of a circular nature. This is a process. It is not an on/off activity. In fact the way we - me and the bear - were running round the room in circles - the process is in fact happening and ongoing.
6) My talking represents what my meditation tradition calls "incessant mind chatter". The moment I reduced the chatter also the bear became more peaceful. So the way to find peace is to relax the mind into a "no-chatter state". ;) The fact that I fell gradually silent, and more silent as realisation came, says this is also an ongoing process.
7) Anger is an ongoing problem in my life, but that it appeared as a teenage bear and not a full-grown grizzly seems to indicate I am at a stage where it is no longer so powerful that I cannot handle it. The bear had a bite, and it still was an animal not to mess with. But it was not beyond me to keep it from doing damage to others, and in the end the bear grew calm.

So, to sum it up:

I represented my mind in this. The way to deal with the anger problem from my youth is to still the mind in meditation to stop the incessant mind chatter. The process is ongoing, and if I go on, and calm the mind, the anger will also be no longer a problem and calm down as well. I already have the power to rein in my anger somewhat, but in the end the anger will not only be controlled but cease.

What a dream. :D

Oliver

[journyman161]

That's some interpretation as well... Wish i could work out my strange dreams like that. *grins*

[Beekeeper]

Top interpretation! What a useful dream.

Now, here's mine from a few nights ago. I'm swimming in a pool with two polar bears and then there's a large cat ( a leopard I think, I'd have to check my journal). It's floating on something and roars in my face. The bears start to become threatening too. I think to myself, "These aren't real animals," and I restrain myself from acting with fear.

[CFTraveler]

Y'all are too deep. The only time I dreamed about a bear I woke up punching out my poor husband who was snoring so loud that it sounded just like a bear. Now I sleep with earplugs.
:lol: :lol: :lol:

So Oliver- does your gf snore? *ducks*

[sono]

Wow, I'm very impressed with your interpretation, too! You have obviously acheived some enviable self-knowledge!

Strangely, I also frequently dream about bears - often "water bears", baby bears & many others. They always make me think of the poem by Delmore Schwartz that starts, "The heavy bear who walks with me..." (or words to that effect) & I tend to see bears (because of this poem) as the heavy, "brute" side of oneself that desires material satisfactions. I know that's what it means for me, anyway.

(Off topic, would anyone have any insight into the meaning of a big, black sinister-looking sedan car that I've been driving in dreams lately? I always pull over & make a u-turn at some point. . . I find it oddly disturbing.)

[Korpo]

Hello, sono.

I usually don't have that much insight into my dreams, but the realisation hit me really, really strongly upon waking up. All the pieces fell together and I just *knew*.

I know what the bear meant for me as I knew about the Daoist interpretation beforehand. A bear can mean many things depending on context, but I knew my context by definition, so I did not even bother to look it up (as I have come to do lately).

The dream simply did not slip away as much as before.

The only association that spontaneously comes to mind about big black sinister-lookin sedan cars is the "men in black" phenomenon associated with UFOs and abductions. Knowing what reading you do from former post (ufology for example) you should have already have come over the phenomenon, right?

Oliver

[sono]

Thanks for that "Men in Black interpretation" - for some reason I have very strong gut resistance against that possibility (?!) You're quite right, I do a lot of reading on the UFO thing. . . . sometimes I worry that I am concurrently (unknown to myself!) a denizen of some dark world & don't know how to extricate myself. Signs of madness creeping in. . . .

[Korpo]

Thanks for that "Men in Black interpretation" - for some reason I have very strong gut resistance against that possibility (?!) You're quite right, I do a lot of reading on the UFO thing. . . . sometimes I worry that I am concurrently (unknown to myself!) a denizen of some dark world & don't know how to extricate myself. Signs of madness creeping in. . . .

Maybe, just maybe, your dream represents that you *fear* to be such a denizen - but you turn around... Maybe it shows the fear is either not based on reality, or that you make the turnaround, or should make a turnaround.

Please also take note that the men in black for me always had a somewhat archetypical flair - the mix the color black which can denote mystery, dark or the unknown with an impersonal aspect, fear, a paranoia-inducing theme. Somehow they seem a bit like bogeymen 2.0. So turning around in a men in black car might mean you are turning your life away from darkness, confronting darkness, entering mystery?

Being at the wheel is always something that denotes control. So it's about having made or making decisions possibly.

What makes you worried that you are sth like that? Any signs? If you feel not comfortable talking about this in public there is also PMing.

Be well, sono. :D

Oliver

[sono]

(Shivvvvveeeerrrr. . . ) To try to answer that. . .I don't really know, except that on some Gnostic sites that I used to frequent, there's an awful lot about "the dark lodge" & how we are all unwitting members of it, until we awaken to true consciousness. I think I've got a bit of a guilt complex going, & am also trying hard to maintain total consciousness in all my normal daily actions- which is very hard! So easy to slip into automaton mode, say the expected, think in reaction to events etc. Am constantly at war with my "selves/ egos" . . . .there seem to be so many of them with their own agendas. :roll: Do you have any views/beliefs on this?

Namaste

Noelle

[Korpo]

(Shivvvvveeeerrrr. . . ) To try to answer that. . .I don't really know, except that on some Gnostic sites that I used to frequent, there's an awful lot about "the dark lodge" & how we are all unwitting members of it, until we awaken to true consciousness.

And that's total hogwash to me. :?

If you turn spirituality upside down, and try to put it into a mixer with some conspiracy theories, that's the kind of stuff that comes out and does not help anyone, IMO.


I think I've got a bit of a guilt complex going, & ama slo trying hard to maintain total consciousness in all my normal daily actions- which is very hard!

This cannot be done by forcing or willing. I tried to do Buddhist insight/awareness meditation this way, and it is the spiritual equivalent of wacking yourself with a stick to get better... :?

First of all, sono, relax. And then forget about that nonsense. It is nonsense. Total awareness does not come from force.


So easy to slip into automaton mode, say the expected, think in reaction to events etc. Am constantly at war with my "selves/ egos" . . . .there seem to be so many of them with their own agendas. :roll: Do you have any views/beliefs on this?

Yes, we are in inner conflict. Because we want the world to be different than it is. We cannot change the world because we cannot even accept the current state of the world, so the first step is acceptance of the here and now so you really know what you can do about it.

Becoming present in the present moment, becoming fully aware is a process of relaxation and letting go and of conflict, not one of forcing yourself into conformance. No matter what anyone told you, believe me now when I say to you that at the core of your being is a wonderful, endearing person, fully capable of love and self-respect, fully enlightened. And above these are the layers of where you fullfill others' expectations, how you should be, where you try to conform instead of easing into being.

You are not your thoughts, so be not afraid of what you think. You are not your emotions. So be not afraid of what you feel. You are not your ego. So be not afraid of its tendencies. You are not powerless.

Love yourself and relax into your heart and the rest will follow. You deserve this love *RIGHT NOW*. (Was I shouting? ;))

Don't believe the ones who tell you something is wrong with you from the start. Those have agendas. Because implanting desires into people, the wish to conform, to belong, to be accepted by others while teaching them to abhor themselves is the root of control, power over others and manipulations. That's the base of any manipulative cult, sono: "You are nothing but we can help you."

The truth is far more beautiful - at your core you are already fine. Now recover that feeling and embrace it and never lose it again.

Just be well, sono. Don't believe others who say you should not.
Oliver

[Korpo]

So Oliver- does your gf snore? *ducks*

She was not present, so - I guess not? :D

Oliver

[sono]

(What's happening, my first reply attempt has not been posted?) Anyway, here goes again - Thanks, Korpo for the blast of fresh air, I needed that, made me smile! I was brought up Buddhist, but in a very negative way, & in a very Catholic environment; a sense of deep self loathing was inculcated in me early on, probably in a misguided attempt to humble my "self" so I guess I have a lot of wrong perceptions to work through.. . . I don't "believe" the gnostic stuff any more either, but I realise it has conditioned me. My "thing" is that I really don't want to have to be in a body again after this one, so am obsessed with finding the "truth" & moving on. :oops:

[Korpo]

(What's happening, my first reply attempt has not been posted?) Anyway, here goes again - Thanks, Korpo for the blast of fresh air, I needed that, made me smile!

Phew! I was sitting here, a bit anxious I might have offended you, but this is how I feel about... that stuff! ;)


I was brought up Buddhist, but in a very negative way, & in a very Catholic environment; a sense of deep self loathing was inculcated in me early on, probably in a misguided attempt to humble my "self" so I guess I have a lot of wrong perceptions to work through...

That's how I started into awareness meditation, and I got into a spiral of "Oh, I was not aware, oh no, not again" and it was making my days miserable. It is the feeling of "I'm not conforming to the ideal, I must try harder". The irony is: Pushing and forcing leads nowhere. Feeling guilty removes you further from being present here and now. But I know how you came to the same conclusions - at least a bit.

This is in a way sad, because it achieves the opposite of what is intended - instead of enjoying the moments you are actually aware you chastise yourself for the moments where you are not. But the power to be aware grows oh so slowly, and chastising yourself is - well - unnecessary. And avoid the next trap - chastising yourself for chastising. Yes, the ego can be a devious little bugger. :lol:


I don't "believe" the gnostic stuff any more either, but I realise it has conditioned me. My "thing" is that I really don't want to have to be in a body again after this one, so am obsessed with finding the "truth" & moving on. :oops:

sono, perhaps you might find that it is easier to find joy in being in a body and expanding on that and through that finding the truth, instead of transposing "the truth" into the future, a bodiless state, or whatever. Learning to be alive, human, compassionate and enjoying it in peace, that's my goal. It sounds a lot less mystical than "enlightenment" or "breaking the cycle of incarnation". Just being, calmly, relaxed and in peace. That's what I strive for.

Oliver

[sono]

:? I actually know you're right, & I do agree in my more lucid moments.. when I was little , sometimes I used to just gaze at my hands in awe. I shouldn't (here I go again) be so blase about being in a body, it is an amazing machine!

[Korpo]

:? I actually know you're right, & I do agree in my more lucid moments.. when I was little , sometimes I used to just gaze at my hands in awe. I shouldn't (here I go again) be so blase about being in a body, it is an amazing machine!

It's more than that. ;) After I started reviving my body from the blockages more and more often I got the feeling of "Hey, I enjoy being in a body". It is a good thing, and only the start.

So, sono, what negative thoughts can we exorcise from you as well, today? :D

Just tell. No blame attached. Guilt not allowed. ;) Seems like you have quite some ideas to speak out - maybe they lose a bit of their then if you really see them written out.

You actually made me quite curious.

Oliver

[sono]

O dear! Now I feel I'm indulging the ego :oops: You'll see you have unleased a monster ! BUT: How about excorcising the notion that my life is a result of some misdeed - that I shouldn't have had to come back again if it weren't for that wrong attitude or action? Most likely a result of my sharp tongue & nasty temper; plus the temptation to use some sort of magic to control outer circumstances, instead of being impervious to them?
I shall subside now (until tomorrow)

Go well & thanks!

Noelle

[Korpo]

Hey, Noelle.

I started to think different about my life, how about you might as well:

Maybe your heightened awareness of your life's circumstances is your lucky chance to "make it" in this life.

I was born with an "itch" I cannot possibly scratch. An urge. It is always there, a simmering discontent. Something that drives me. Before I knew meditation it made me restless. Now it has become the fuel for doing my energy work every day, for going on, for releasing what's binding me.

Over time I came to believe that the itch that at first made me miserable is a chance to scratch beyond the surface, to know what is beyond our day-to-day lives and what I am here for. Would I have asked for answers if I were content?

Maybe you feel it to. It can feel like being out of phase with everything and everyone. Not belonging. My existence felt often like a drag, lacking the goals others had, lacking drive.

Now that I found the something I was looking for I start belonging to myself. Everything feels better, I have a feeling of progress and doing the right thing. That is important.

10 years ago I felt miserable and out of control. Now I feel those times taught me sth.

Perhaps you can find a similar feeling for yourself and about your life, too? I have not much experience about this, but my perception seems to be that spiritual people tend to be torn until they find at least their way to go for things. And then change becomes their life blood.

Be well,
Oliver