*****Please help my mother....*****

[howdihi]

I don’t know where else to go but this forum. My mother was diagnosed with stage 1 colon cancer 3 weeks ago. Two weeks ago, she had surgery to remove it (and part of her colon). She was in the hospital for 1 week and then went to a rehab. She was only there for a few days and she went to the emergency room because she was getting worse. They determined (after a cat scan) that her colon was leaking. She was dying from the bacteria invading her insides. She underwent emergency surgery at 3:30 am to flush out the bacteria 2 ½ days ago. She is alive (in ICU), however, this is a very serious condition to have. Even though she was flushed out with 10 litres of saline, it is not possible to get all the bacteria out and now it is a waiting game. She looks horrible and is hooked up to a ventilator in addition to a bunch of other items. She has been under sedation most of the time. She has been in so much pain the last 2 weeks. I don’t want to believe she is going to die. I talked to her nurse today and my mother is stable (not any better or worse). She was basically was up front…saying that things could turn around very quickly (for the worse).


The complications from the surgery all came about because (I believe) medical staff was not being more watchful and vigilant.

My sister and I gave birth to our children on July 27th and 29th….one week before my mother had her surgery. My mother (Joyce) was scared that she was going to die and not be able to see her grandchildren start Kindergarten. I am not ready to say goodbye to my mother. My 14 year old took his life 3 years ago and I just can’t take anymore right now.

PLEASE anyone pray for her and/or send healing energy to her. Please post if there is any information I can give you to help her.

I do not know how to heal and have only done a few chapters of energy work and that was a while ago. Please let me know if there is anything I can do…like heal quick techniques. Or, instructions on how to learn to heal with limited experience and time. I am willing to try anything.

Thank you

[star]

I sent Reiki to her. I felt some things clear at the start and continued for a while to help those areas carry away junk.

[CFTraveler]

I'll send a prayer her way.

[howdihi]

Thank you very very much!

[Dialgo]

My prayers go out to God for you and her.

[howdihi]

My mother had a third surgery today as they found out her small intestine was leaking. They say her insides are friable because she has soo much edema.

The problem is not cancer anymore, it is the complications arising from it.

She will go in again Monday or Tuesday again to be "irrigated."

I was just telling my brother that I think I have too much empathy...if ever there could be.... I can feel her pain and frustration and it hurts. She can't talk because she is hooked up to a ventilator and she is too weak from everything to write or point to letters. I can imagine how frustrated she is with not being able to talk and knowing she is going to go in for a 3rd surgery...thinking that she MAY never see us again. She was a strong vibrant woman 3 weeks ago. She was going to have knee surgery this summer but the dr told her to get a physical. That is when they found the cancer. They were getting ready to take her off the ventilator today when they found this mishap. Her white blood cell count was getting better, she was off the blood pressure medicine and although she was not out of the woods, at least things were not going downhill. The only way I can communicate with her is by asking her yes and no questions and even then, it is a guessing game by trying to figure out what she is trying to communicate to me.

When I was 8, my younger brother (or the foster child we were caring for) lit a fire behind a chair in the library. It just made some smoke and damaged the carpet. My father lined all of us kids up (6 of us and I am the middle child) and demanded to know who did it. No one was admitting to doing it so he said he would spank every one of us then. I then told him I did it (even though I didn't) because I thought one child being spanked was better than all of us. So I got spanked and I saved everyone else.

Sometimes I wish I was more like my older brother. He looks at this from a different point of view....more unattached. So why do I, (a person has plenty of empathy) need all these hard lessons? And I am not just talking about my mother. I am talking about my son and other things that have happened in my life...

Sorry about all this rambling... I am just tired of all the hard lessons being dealt to me.

[Mishell]

I am just tired of all the hard lessons being dealt to me

I was thinking this same thing today. But, when I got down to the basics of so many of my hard lessons, they were not really my lessons at all. In some respect, when we love it can feel like the lessons and choices of others are our own. It requires a different vantage point to separate the two. I believe we decide before we incarnate who we will spend our lives, and portions of our lives with. Each person has their own set of lessons to be learned. Your lesson my spill over and affect the lessons I am learning, but they are individual lessons. It is like a spider-web in that regard. It is one thing to love, and to feel for, or feel the feelings of someone else. But you do not have to take on their lessons as your own.

I had a friend who committed suicide about eight years ago. He never could have known the way it affect so many lives. It absolutely changed the direction of my life. Two years ago I went to a psychic and at the end of the reading he asked me who Steven was. For the life of me I could not think. The psychic told me about how my life was changed by this person. He told me many details. I wasn’t getting it. He told me Steven stopped by to say that we are in the same Soul Family. On the way home from the reading it dawned on me; my friend Steven! It had been so long.

Since that day I have been thinking about Soul Families. Perhaps they are a tighter cluster of souls inside a soul group, all working on the same lessons. So many of the things my friend Steven had to work on were things that I was working on as well. It was an odd parallel since we had such different backgrounds. I did a meditation one day and saw my friend Steven. I asked him what lesson our Soul Group was working on and he told me our lesson was to learn to survive.

Every once and a while, I find myself talking to him about things that go on in my life. One day I was crying and I clearly heard him say, “You have legs like a lion.” (This was a reference to a dream I’d had.) “You have legs like a lion. Walk with strength and courage.”

So that is my advice to you. Walk with strength and courage. Sometimes our lessons are as basic as learning to survive; just making it through.

Sending you all my best,
Mishell

[howdihi]

Hi Mishell,

A suicide really changes a person. If they could only realize how many people it impacts and how it radiates out... I don't think my son would have if he could have known the pain and heartache for me and others. I am forever changed by my sons death.

Thank you for your advice (although hard). I appreciate it and your time to post.

My mother has now been in icu for almost 5 weeks with over a dozen surgeries. : ( Her belly has been totally open the whole time and I just found out yesterday that she now has pneumonia. I can't imagine how someone can endure so much for so long.

[Mishell]

I have been wondering about you. Sorry your mom is still in hospital.

Sending my love and well wishes,
Mishell

[ButterflyWoman]

So why do I, (a person has plenty of empathy) need all these hard lessons?

Your lesson isn't to learn empathy. My guess is that part of it is to learn how to filter your empathetic reactions. I'm extremely empathetic (I can feel your pain and what seems to be near panic, actually), but I've had to absolutely learn how to detach somewhat (or even completely). I was bleeding myself dry, psychically and emotionally.

So I'd say that would be one of your big lessons, and until you learn it, unfortunately, you keep being challenged on it. That's just the way it works. :(

As for being tired of being tested... been there, done that, too. The feeling of being tired is normal, but there's a danger of developing a bad attitude about it all (I know I sure did!). There's this tendency to feel victimised by it all, even if you don't say it out loud, you still feel it, and once you get into "what else can go wrong" mode or "why is this happening to me again" mode, it just spirals downward.

So as difficult as it is, you need to try to pull yourself up and work on positive thinking. You don't have to be happy about anything, but you need to just breathe and look at the things that you DO have to be happy about, little things, just find a few things every day to be grateful for. If you do this every day, I guarantee it will help your entire outlook.

Please know that I'm writing this with absolute compassion and from the perspective of "been there, done that, got the therapy". I'm not judging you or anything else of that sort. I'm just trying to offer some perspective from the POV of someone who has had to deal with some extremely harsh lessons and who is almost shockingly empathetic.

I do feel your pain and your weariness. I'm sending you love and positive energy, as well as to your mother. I hope you can feel it and that you benefit from it, as well as your mum.

Love and blessings.

[howdihi]

OlderWiser,

Thanks for the reply. What a coincidence that you mention to breath. I had a dream shortly before your post. In it, I was telling a person that I needed a break. He? gave me a note that said 23.99 for 5 days and day 1 was to breath. That's all. I can't remember the other days except for that breath was on the list twice.

[howdihi]

I feel like I have my own little diary here. When I need to vent or describe an experience or ask for something, I feel safe.

My mother died in early September from Stage 1 cancer (complications). She was on a ventilator so long that she was never able to speak or communicate to us. All those weeks... not able to talk, write, eat.... Not able to say her last wishes.

I am tired of death and I need a break. First my grandpa, then my 39 year old bother, then my 14 year old son, then my mother.

Now, I have just learned that my 44 year old brother has both lung cancer and metastasized bladder cancer in his brain and bones and who knows where else. He is right now undergoing radiation therapy to his brain so that (hopefully) the tumors don't get larger, then, chemotherapy. He has 2 young girls that he is very concerned about.

Please send healing energy his way..............

[CFTraveler]

I am so sorry that all of this is happening.
I will send prayers and energy and know that you are in our thoughts.