j kitty
17th May 2007, 08:33 AM
I've been doing some minor energy work just playing around sense I was a child, not really aware of what I was doing. I started to do it less as I felt such energies less and often only turned to helping the energies of peoples prayers on, working with them to weave them into stronger and more intensive flows... But I never really took it very seriously or put much effort into my actions. The energy people where giving off in there prayers just felt good and it felt good to let it flow through me and help it along, it was almost like I feed on it as it gave it strength and sent it on it's way.
But some time after something..... unpleasant from my child hood, or perhapses before such, showed up and gravely wounded my energy body... I started taking things a bit more seriously and tried to get help to learn how to protect and heal myself.
In an attempt to heal myself with energy work I gathered healing energy through my body and focused it around the wounded area, but the area pushed back. I tried drawing in as much energy as I could from around me pushing it into the area, more and more and more... until something just snapped. It was like trying to put a fire out with a water hose... and then some one opens the floods gates on a damn and empties the lake out onto the fire. My body was paralyzed as a truly massive flow of energy erupted out of my body strait up into the air for what seamed like forever. My minds eye saw my body being instantly torn apart to nothing by the energy leaving behind a liquid blue crystal humanoid form in it's place as the energy just keep poring out. It was acutely like 10 minutes or so later that it stopped and I felt so drained I could barely move a finger.
Sense then I have been having incensed where my energy flows out of my body and the area (outside of my body) aching like straining a muscle far beyond it's limits. Mainly two streams stretching up out of my shoulder blades when it rained, so much so during storms the pain could be nearly debilitating. Now it has stopped but the area behind my back still breams with energy from my energy body.
However other such flows are occasionally forming around my face, head, and lower arms. While not so painfully at all, they are some what disturbing become they have been accompanied with what could be called feral desires.... chasing pray down, matting, and the like.
I don't know.... there a lot of really crazy things happening in my life and answers for some of it would be very nice.
The only thing anyone has ever told me is some one told me when they look at my astral body they see rather large blue feathery wings on my back, but thats just one persons view so I don't know if they really did see such. The only time I ever protected it was into my own mind scape (i think, only way my control over it could be explained.) and when I did I couldn't see myself.
But these feelings of my energy body outside my body, and aches are very very frequent as of late.... and the feral feelings along with them disturb me to a point.
Just wondering if you could explain what is going on and what it is I should do about it?
But some time after something..... unpleasant from my child hood, or perhapses before such, showed up and gravely wounded my energy body... I started taking things a bit more seriously and tried to get help to learn how to protect and heal myself.
In an attempt to heal myself with energy work I gathered healing energy through my body and focused it around the wounded area, but the area pushed back. I tried drawing in as much energy as I could from around me pushing it into the area, more and more and more... until something just snapped. It was like trying to put a fire out with a water hose... and then some one opens the floods gates on a damn and empties the lake out onto the fire. My body was paralyzed as a truly massive flow of energy erupted out of my body strait up into the air for what seamed like forever. My minds eye saw my body being instantly torn apart to nothing by the energy leaving behind a liquid blue crystal humanoid form in it's place as the energy just keep poring out. It was acutely like 10 minutes or so later that it stopped and I felt so drained I could barely move a finger.
Sense then I have been having incensed where my energy flows out of my body and the area (outside of my body) aching like straining a muscle far beyond it's limits. Mainly two streams stretching up out of my shoulder blades when it rained, so much so during storms the pain could be nearly debilitating. Now it has stopped but the area behind my back still breams with energy from my energy body.
However other such flows are occasionally forming around my face, head, and lower arms. While not so painfully at all, they are some what disturbing become they have been accompanied with what could be called feral desires.... chasing pray down, matting, and the like.
I don't know.... there a lot of really crazy things happening in my life and answers for some of it would be very nice.
The only thing anyone has ever told me is some one told me when they look at my astral body they see rather large blue feathery wings on my back, but thats just one persons view so I don't know if they really did see such. The only time I ever protected it was into my own mind scape (i think, only way my control over it could be explained.) and when I did I couldn't see myself.
But these feelings of my energy body outside my body, and aches are very very frequent as of late.... and the feral feelings along with them disturb me to a point.
Just wondering if you could explain what is going on and what it is I should do about it?