Kevin's MAP Journal

[Kevin]

I was very excited to start this program. So excited, I bought the book sooner than I told myself I would!

Night 0

I'll be starting my journal on Night 0 since I started reading last night. I went to sleep knowing that I would need to be diligent about a dream journal and expected to start the very next morning! My night went something like this:

We laid down somewhere around 10:00 pm and talked for a little while before settling down. At around 11:00 I felt the strands of sleepiness start to creep into my mind and I accepted that and started trying to clear my mind so that it would come, this was not part of any structured practice just some time spent on it personally to encourage the training to come.

I woke once at about 12. My fiance had not come to bed (she was upset with me and I didn't know it). I went back to sleep shortly after that.

Day 1 - Morning

It was as if my dreams knew I was expecting them and desired to deliver! In the morning the dream was still very clear in my mind as I reached over to diligently jot down my dream keywords! I was surprised how easy this seemed at the time. Then I got up to use the restroom, and when I returned to be to lay down I noticed I wasn't tired. I just didn't have the desire to sleep anymore. It was 5:00 am so I decided to wake my fiance up. We had a nice talk about how I had upset her the night prior and we both got up and spent time together as I got ready for work much earlier than I usually do! I told her the dream I had, as the recall was fresh in my mind still and I've read that if you tell it, it will stay that way. At breakfast (something I almost never have time for) I jotted down some more keywords from an earlier dream I had had but didn't remember until after I woke up.

On my way to work I said my Morning Affirmation. Once I got here to work I managed to use the keywords to punch out a whole page of descriptions of my dream.

I don't know if its the energy work I have been doing prior to today or just my enthusiasm for the program, but I feel great today!

More will come on Day 1 as the day progresses! I am looking forward to the exercises I will do tonight after work.

[hasalameth]

Go Kev, Go! :) I also experienced positive changes when starting the MAP. Would you mind sharing what the dream was about? I had one during the first week, where I saw huge violet (and other) flowers grow and bloom all around me, everything was lit from within itself, even though it was night time. Then there was some weird symbolic stuff about a snake trying to kill a toad and in turn getting eaten by a bigger snake. :? Anyhow I felt like that dream was symbolizing the growth I was currently experiencing. Good Luck!

[nkd]

Welcome on board and good luck with the program!

[Kevin]

Not at all, there was nothing too personal in the dream to make me not want to tell it, so here it is:

Dream Journal – The Jewish Brothers

Last night I dreamed of two Jewish brothers. The first got lost in Africa and was taken in by an African tribe. The second went searching for him in a hot air balloon and when he landed near the tribe, they were afraid for the balloon and speared it, leaving the brothers stranded in Africa.

At the same time, somewhere else in the world, a rich Jewish man was talking to his assistant and his assistant informed him of the plight of the Jewish brothers. This made the rich Jew very happy because the second brother had a very high social status and he was now out of the way. Then I was shown a flash back of the second brother in the office of a blonde female in long dark robes (I had the idea that she was a high ranking government official), and the brother was going through and asking if he could have items from her office, which she was gladly giving him. I remember thinking it was funny that he WASN’T being awarded these, just asking if he could have them. There was also a short argument between the rich Jew and the assistant over the fact that he was hungry and the assistant told him that he would not get him anything to eat. The argument ended with the rich Jew throwing a candle holder at the door as the assistant shut it behind him. After a while spent in Africa, the natives built a new hot air balloon for the brothers out of animal hides and sent them out of Africa.

At this point, the dream transitioned and I was the one who had just returned from Africa. I found myself in a community shower with my dad and step-brother. My dad was telling him that he had to finish his math test, and indeed I saw a timer and proceeded on to take my shower. Later I noticed that Matt had not ended his timer and his time had run out. He had failed and later I found out he hadn’t even started. The next part of the dream I remember is laying in my bed (Actually in Matt’s bed as we are currently living in Matt’s room) and Matt was upset at us for borrowing money from him but not inviting him to come with us. I was upset about that so I paid him back and told him to leave us alone.

After that portion of the dream ended I found that I was a photographer and my team was coming over for a party. I didn’t want them to see my house as I thought they may look down on me for it. I remember going outside just as they arrived in an old beat up jeep. Apparently Tuan had also gone to Africa because I asked him how his trip was. I remember noticing that the roof wasn’t really a roof at all but some kind of sheet with a pattern on it. To my relief, they had rented a house down the street to have the party in. The leader of the party was Tuan, my current boss. He said they had cards and poker chips downstairs so we could all play poker for money. I remember him opening a cupboard and seeing the flimsy plastic chips you’d buy at a dollar store. I also remember him mentioning one of the people thinking the chips would just be evenly distributed and played with. As we all moved on to explore the upstairs Tuan said, “Kevin stinks.” When I looked down I found that I had on the shirt that I returned from Africa in and it was in fact stained. This is one of my favorite shirts in real life, and one of the stains is actually on it from Easter Sunday and it was the same in my dream, though in my dream the shirt had more stains. When we went upstairs we noticed that everything was built bigger, the ceiling and even the furniture was built slightly taller making all of us feel a lot shorter. Nothing was out of reach, just a few inches higher than they normally are.

[hasalameth]

The Jew part of the dream sounds pretty entertaining, almost prophetic in a way, how did you interpret all those things, as you were only the observer?

The shower thing I think was some sort of connection between you and the other guys, you may have entered each other's dreams to communicate on a higher level, but your conscious mind had a hard time interpreting that communication; test, time, shower, failiure.

The later part sounds like a typical "psychological" dream to me. Your subC is trying to tell you things, aswell as interpret feelings of your waking life, the stained shirt, the home, the almost out of reach furnitire, all sound very "psychology-class" to me :)

[Flash_hound]

Are you by any chance Jewish? Or were you ever close to someone who was Jewish?

[Kevin]

The Jew part of the dream sounds pretty entertaining, almost prophetic in a way, how did you interpret all those things, as you were only the observer?

The shower thing I think was some sort of connection between you and the other guys, you may have entered each other's dreams to communicate on a higher level, but your conscious mind had a hard time interpreting that communication; test, time, shower, failiure.

The later part sounds like a typical "psychological" dream to me. Your subC is trying to tell you things, aswell as interpret feelings of your waking life, the stained shirt, the home, the almost out of reach furnitire, all sound very "psychology-class" to me :)

I do believe the rich Jewish man referred to himself as Jewish, tho I was aware that they were all jewish long before that. My step-grandfather was jewish, but this is the first dream I've had of this sort.

In the dream in the shower, I didn't really speak with anyone, though the later part where my step-brother is probably due to the fact that I feel guilty for staying in his room for so long. We just recently moved from florida and are current;y using his room as a Base of Operations for my faince and I while he stays at his Dad's house.

The last portion deffinately feels like a psych dream to me. I think it is dealing with my adapting with my new boss, who sometimes seems impatient and can often hand me work at the last minute.

[Flash_hound]

That's interesting... I am just trying to figure out how the Jewish thing got into your dreams because I'm Jewish lol.

[Kevin]

That's interesting... I am just trying to figure out how the Jewish thing got into your dreams because I'm Jewish lol.

You asked if I have ever known anyone Jewish or been close to someone who has been Jewish.

Yes. My Step-Grandfather was Jewish and we were very close. He used to teach me how to carve. He died maybe 9-10 years ago and I alway regretted not spending more time with himn before he died.

The funny thing is, tho he was Jewish, we never talked about religion. The only difference I knew growing up was that I beleived in Jesus and he didn't. And the dream didn't have a sad quality to it, in fact it had a very cinematic - almost comedic attribute to it. I have never dreamed anything like it. Maybe it would help for you to know that I love to write and have kicked around a few screenplay ideas that have never been completely written. Sometime I think my dreams are trying to give me good ideas for movies I should write. Maybe my Astral Self is trying to help me along? I don't know.

[Flash_hound]

Haha, maybe. Or maybe it is just your subconscious trying to help you feel better about not spending enough time with your grandfather. Possibly your trip to Africa was a representation of you trying to find your Grandfather and redefine your relationship with him.

[Kevin]

Haha, maybe. Or maybe it is just your subconscious trying to help you feel better about not spending enough time with your grandfather. Possibly your trip to Africa was a representation of you trying to find your Grandfather and redefine your relationship with him.

It is possible. Often times, when I think about communicating with dead relatives, he is the only one that comes to mind. Tho, like I said, in the dream it wasn't me doing the traveling to begin with.

[Flash_hound]

That's really cool. Is that one of the reasons you got into astral projection or just an after-thought? Did you ever see anyone die well you were in Iraq that you thought about visiting (sorry personal question)?

[Kevin]

That's really cool. Is that one of the reasons you got into astral projection or just an after-thought? Did you ever see anyone die well you were in Iraq that you thought about visiting (sorry personal question)?

No, though my fear of death was. That fear has subsided a great deal since my first partial exit because I can tell myself, there IS something after this.

My time in Iraq did make me face my own mortality as I was put into dangerous situations daily, not of my own free will and I still feel very wronged by the man who did it, but I was never actually attacked or saw anyone killed. Recently however, my friend in the army had a sister get hit by a road side bomb on the same route I would sometimes travel on a weekly, sometimes daily, basis.

The more and more I heard about Astral Projection tho, the more I think about my grandfather. I think it's because he was such a good person but I only got to call him my grandfather for a very short time. He died of lung cancer from smoking and I guess I think he was taken away from me prematurely.

I think of him everytime I hear this song (and I actually sometimes use this song as an AP affirmation!) :

http://www.anycountrymusiclyrics.com/ly ... _I'm_Going (http://www.anycountrymusiclyrics.com/lyrics/133466/Brad_Paisley/When_I_Get_Where_I'm_Going)

[bastien001]

Welcome to this journaling space, Kevin.

[Kevin]

Welcome to this journaling space, Kevin.

Bastien001: Thank you very much!

Day 1 - Morning

I memorized my daily affirmations and made one of my own for just before I started my daily exercises.

I got a little frustrated early in me exercises. I set my timer wrong when I started doing the relaxation technique and ended doing them until I was getting aggitated. I thought that it just seemed like a long time, but when I check my clock I found my mistake. I think that threw me off.

I went into my brething exercises knowing that this would be a true challenge for me. Its always been hard for me to try to keep my mind quiet for any amount of time. The first 1-2 minutes went smoothly, the last 3 I had to keep starting over. Today I think I will try focusing on the movement of my chest and abdomen.

Frustrated by my first two exercises, I think I went into my Energy Work at a disadvantage. I'm currently living in a busy household and I let myself get distracted easily. Coupled with my frustration, I don't think I benefitted much from the energy work. I think I will do some added exercise today at lunch to supplement it. My car is nice and quiet.

[Kevin]

Day 2 - Morning - Dream Recall

Over all, I woke up three times to record key words to the dreams I could remember. The first time I woke up, I recorded a portion of the dream I could remember but knew that there was more! I did as the MAP book suggests to try to recall those memories. It took me a few moments but I did in fact recall those shadow memories. I was elated that I was able to do that!

My next goal is to start writing down more descriptive words when I write my keywords, and maybe even words I can remember from my dreams.

[Kevin]

Day 2 - Supplemental Energy Work

I was upset yesterday that I couldn't concentrate effectively on my energy work, though looking back I think it was more of a MBA exercise than actual energy work, so today on my lunch break, not only did I spend some time to go over yesterdays exercise but also familiarized myself with tonights Exercise. I think I did it with good results this time and was able to sufficiently quiet my mind and concentrate. The sponging was my favorite. For some reason imaging a pourous surface going down the center of my pourous bones felt like I was scratching an evasive itch!!

[nkd]

Night 1 - Dream Recall

Over all, I woke up three times to record key words to the dreams I could remember. The first time I woke up, I recorded a portion of the dream I could remember but knew that there was more! I did as the MAP book suggests to try to recall those memories. It took me a few moments but I did in fact recall those shadow memories. I was elated that I was able to do that!

My next goal is to start writing down more descriptive words when I write my keywords, and maybe even words I can remember from my dreams.

I remember waking three times in the night to recall my dreams on my first night of training :D keep it going like that!

[Kevin]

Good morning AD!! TGIF!

Day 2 - Exercises

I think my exercises yesterday afternoon went a little bit better than they had before. First of all, I didn't spend way to much time on the relaxation exercises!

The breath awareness went a little bit better too, I feel like I was able to quiet my mind for longer stints of time. Towards the end I was really getting to it because my timer went off and startled me a bit.

By the time I got to the energy work, the peacefulness in the house began to diminish a bit, but I managed to eventually get into it as well. It was a good thing that I had done some energy work earlier in the day though!

Day 3 - Morning - Dream Recall

As I've progressed (this is my third night keeping my dream keywords and dream journal) I feel like my astral recall is deffinately getting stronger! I think this is my strongest point in the last few days training. Though last night I remember a bit less of the dreams I do remember, I DO remember having a lot more dreams. I remember them being there if not what they were about. I woke several times towards the end of my night only to fall back to sleep for another 5 more minutes. There were several 5 minute naps each of which containing there own dreams that I wasn't able to record key words to, but I do know they were there.

I think my biggest achievement last night was my first dream. As it was happening, I KNEW it was a dream. I clearly said to myself (it was liking I was watching the dream with a seperate consciousness) this is a dream, I need to take control and go lucid. I didn't manage full lucidity, but I feel it was a huge step!

I also caught more detail in my dream keywords! I had a football dream last night, I think my subconcious mind is trying quell my NFL fix until the next season starts up. I wrote down the key words Cardinals and Black Stars. That's what the cardinals were wearing in my dream last night, Black uniform tops with little black stars in a discernable pattern. I also wrote down the score to another game in my dream (writing down what I read was important to me yesterday when I couldn't remember what some signs had said), the score was Chi 3 - Det 7.

I think I would have caught some more detail and remember more of my dreams had it not been Friday. My energy is notoriously lower on fridays after a full week of work which probably didn't help my recall (tho i do think there was some improvement). And actually, I feel pretty good today. Much more energetic than I have on past Fridays! I'll thank the energy work for that. I also can't wait to get into bed tonight. My best dreams, and indeed a few attempted projections, have come with the knowledge that I can sleep as late as I want and not worry about waking up. Last weekend I felt projection symptoms and managed to glance at my hands, but couldn't keep control or properly download my shadow memories.

[CFTraveler]

Very nice progress. I want to comment on something, though: Lucidity is not controlling the dream- Lucidity is knowing you are dreaming, and not waking up right away. When you say I'm dreaming and then interact in a way that is conscious, that is lucidity. You achieved lucidity, you just didn't achieve full control. Which is ok. Great job.

[Kevin]

CFT, Thanks for the info! That's awesome.

[Kevin]

Day 5

I know, I know, I skipped day 4. I didn't skip the exercises though. Days 3 and 4 were very frustrating for me. I had put them off for after the weekend because the weekends in my household (currently) are a flurry of activity and so I did a sparse amount of day 3 exercises.

That made Monday my day 4. I must have let my surroundings jarr me because I was unable to gain the required level of concentration and I went to bed that night feeling angry and frustrated. I was not happy.

Day 5 (yesterday) made up for day 4 though and I woke up this morning going into Day 6 with renewed determination. Patience can sometimes be hard for me but I have muscled through and not allowed myself to get too frustrated. I know that in the end, all this work will pay off.

[nkd]

Day 5

I know, I know, I skipped day 4. I didn't skip the exercises though. Days 3 and 4 were very frustrating for me. I had put them off for after the weekend because the weekends in my household (currently) are a flurry of activity and so I did a sparse amount of day 3 exercises.

That made Monday my day 4. I must have let my surroundings jarr me because I was unable to gain the required level of concentration and I went to bed that night feeling angry and frustrated. I was not happy.

Day 5 (yesterday) made up for day 4 though and I woke up this morning going into Day 6 with renewed determination. Patience can sometimes be hard for me but I have muscled through and not allowed myself to get too frustrated. I know that in the end, all this work will pay off.

Kevin, I was very angry when I missed for the first time one of my training days. At the moment of writing this I have already missed two days. I have learned that it is not that bad to skip a day. It could be beneficial in some ways... just be constant and skipping one day every one and then its OK, your body refuels with energy.

[Kevin]

@nkd - Thanks nkd, your input is always appreciated. I've come to notice today that despite those two days, I am still accomplishing goals set in the book. Even when I'm sitting down for lunch I can now notice a faint tingle in my legs and feet that gets stronger if I even think about concentrating on it, lol. It's a very cool feeling.

Day 7 - Epiphany

Lately my dreams have all seemed to have no logical explanation. Until I actually sat down and thought about it. This just randomly struck me today as I was sitting down and reading through today's upcoming exercises.

Recently I have been having a lot of dreams about travel. Blimps, planes, trains, cars, all of these elements have been recurring themes over the last week, even in my keywords. I have had more than a few plane tickets, been late for one plane, and as of last night, been stuck at a train station.

This is that dream:
http://forums.astraldynamics.com/viewto ... 6767#56767 (http://forums.astraldynamics.com/viewtopic.php?p=56767#56767)

In the last week I've been to Africa and Germany.

At first I thought it was just a vague reference to my desire to actually travel, but starting today I started thinking "what if it's something more than that?" Maybe my astral mind is trying to prepare me for the travel? Maybe it's gauging my response to situations? Last night I was stranded at a train station. There wasn't a sense of fear or of panic, just a ponderance of what there was to do next. In fact, though stranded, I still managed a sense of wonder at many of the things in the dream.

Maybe it's just a reference to my current spiritual work within myself? I have bought the ticket, so to speak, and I am actively seeking to travel outside the confines of my body. Now I'm just waiting for the flight.

Any insight would be much appreciated!

[Kevin]

Day 7

I did my exercises to MAP's BWG again yesterday evening. I like it that way very much. It helps me to focus inside myself, and I think as I am doing it, I can feel a very light state of trance coming on. I always get over excited and quickly come out of it, focusing more instead of losing focus.

The breathing exercises are coming along better now, especially with the BWG. I can keep my mind on my breathing for several long moments before having to push a quick thought away.

This becomes even less of a problem when doing my energy work. Having something to focus on, even slightly, clears my mind. I focus on my body and on the energy work. Yesterday was the first day of my energy bounce exercises. I haven't perfected it yetm but I think it is off to a good start.

I am now officially in week 2 of the program! I think I have come a good way from where I started even in the beginning.

[Kevin]

I'm not always one to delve into the meanings of my dreams, typically because my dreams are very average. Usually they reflect my feelings of the day. Sometimes that is anxiety. Other times it is flights of pure fancy, like when I see a really good movie or read a very entertaining book and then dream about it later that night. Even when I become Lucid in a dream, the dream itself usually means very little. It is usually the experience of the dream that I identify with, not the symbolism. But every so often, I have a dream that I know will stick with me for the rest of my life, one that touches me in surprising ways. There are 3 dreams that I have had in 27 years of experience that fall into this category:

I have always had an anxiety about death and beyond. Like most people, I fear the unknown. For me, Death is the epitomy of this unknown. I do consider myself a Christian, though I view my religion through a New Age type of filter. It's my belief that the bible is an intrepretation of things that are actually beyond our understanding; perhaps it was even written by early Astral Projectionists. When I was a child I had a very unique dream; I dreamed that Jesus came to me in my bedroom. I had been fervently praying that God relieve my fear of death and dying. In my dream Jesus came to me and I felt very at peace and at ease. In the dream he offered me a choice; I could choose to stay alive or I could go with him, to die but to die with him by my side. I felt as though he was offering himself as my guide. Now I've died many times in my dreams, but never before or ever again have I been given the choice. I did choose to stay but the dream did, for a time anyway, rid me of the anxiety. The dream also renewed my beliefs. Looking back I don't try to defend the validity of my dream. I don't try to argue that the dream was real, or that Jesus really appeared to me. But to me it was FELT very real and still causes me to wonder if I had made the opposite choice, would I have died that night for real? I know many people would probably argue that it was my subconcious mind trying to rid itself of my fears, but since then I have never had a dream like it even with a growing anxiety of death. Perhaps it is because my choice has been made and can't be offered to me again?

The second dream was as an adult. Like I said, I have died multiple times in dreams. Usually it was caused by something tangible. Once it was a knife wound, another time it was falling of a cliff, ect ect. In this dream, however, it was different. I was just dieing, as if I were on a death bed waiting for it to come. I could practically feel my life seeping away as darkness closed about. I can remember praying fervently that there be something afterwards, the fear was overwhelming. Finally, as I died completely, A vortex wrenched me out of my body. Oddly enough it dragged me downwards, though in those first few instances I can remember the relief I felt at anything happening. I landed in a type of waiting room or pergatory. I was slated for Heaven, but I still wasn't ready. It wasn't a bad place and I was so relieved. From where I was though, I could hear singing and it was a glorious sound. It's come to be my belief that the vortex may have been the Astral Wind phenomenon that Robert Bruce describes in Astral Dynamics. The wind that sometimes drags everything up and into it before pushing everything back out of it. I also think that maybe the dream portion was astral symbolism for what I may have experienced while there. It was so inspiring that I actually wrote a poem about it. Though I am an aspiring writer, I make no claim at being a poet. I have only ever been moved enough to write my own poetry twice in my life, the following is one of these:

Dead and Dreaming
By Kevin Day.

As my heart beats slowly faded,
In my mind my thoughts grew jaded.
What if only darkness awaited me,
and after death I'd cease to be?

Franticly I fought the fear,
with the cold embrace of death so near.
Helpless, I was, in holding back
My death and the encroaching black.

In the end I prayed with all my might,
That God would save me from eternal night.
That was when the vortex took me,
almost violently it shook me.

So glad I was at its embrace,
when from my body my soul did race.
This mortal's prayers had been granted,
For it was in Heaven I had landed.

I had come to the land on high,
So beautiful that my soul began to cry.
At last I'd found an end to pain
and all my human fear had been in vain.

Suddenly, amidst the newly dead,
A holy voice came from up ahead.
"Gather Children, Can you hear the ringing?
Be not afraid. It's the sound of Angels singing."

I woke up then, my heart was screaming,
I had not died and was only dreaming.

And now the last dream that I have to tell about, and the real reason for making this post, happened just last night. It started out as a typical dream about old friends and lost loves, a type of dream that I have often. But towards the end of the dream I became lucid, albeit only very precariously as I could physically feel the strain of concentration it took. Usually when I become Lucid I just meander about my dreams. Sometimes I interact with people in my dream, but only the way I normally would as if they were just mere aspects of the dream. Last night however, as I became lucid on a landscape that appeared to be the outside patio of a small cafe at night, I approached a man sitting at a table. I asked a question, one that was very important to me though it escapes me now. The man at the table responded, "You'll have to find your Spirit Guide." I remember thinking after that I should ALSO ask what happens after death, but then thought to myself "No, He will just respond the same, I need to ask my spirit guide." After that I lost lucidity and woke up. Like I said, I'm not one to read very far into my dreams, its just not my way, but this one struck a cord because I never dream about spirit guides. It seems like maybe I was speaking to an entity that was not a dream. I also find it odd that I can't remember my question, though I can remember wanting to ask about death. I remember that I had perfect clarity when forming the question I asked, and that it was just as clear in my head as my conscious thoughts are. Up to now I thought that what happened after death was the most important question I had, but apparently not. Perhaps I am just not ready to know what that question is, at least not until I find my spirit guide. The question now is, how do I find them

Comments, observations? I welcome all.

[CFTraveler]

Comments, observations? I welcome all. Hi Kevin. Got a couple comments-



Looking back I don't try to defend the validity of my dream. I don't try to argue that the dream was real, or that Jesus really appeared to me. But to me it was FELT very real and still causes me to wonder if I had made the opposite choice, would I have died that night for real? I don't think that would have happened- I do think that you would have gone through a simulation and an experience much like your next one. In fact, I think the next one was the logical progression of your development.
Whether it was Jesus or a guide or your subc. or HS doesn't matter- what matters is that you derived security and it led to the continuation of your spiritual pursuits, so I'd go with 'Christ Presence', if I had to describe it.


The second dream was as an adult. ... Finally, as I died completely, A vortex wrenched me out of my body. Oddly enough it dragged me downwards, though in those first few instances I can remember the relief I felt at anything happening. I landed in a type of waiting room or pergatory. I was slated for Heaven, but I still wasn't ready. It wasn't a bad place and I was so relieved. From where I was though, I could hear singing and it was a glorious sound. It's come to be my belief that the vortex may have been the Astral Wind phenomenon that Robert Bruce describes in Astral Dynamics. The wind that sometimes drags everything up and into it before pushing everything back out of it. I also think that maybe the dream portion was astral symbolism for what I may have experienced while there. I tend to think it was a bit of 'memory' from a past life (death) or indeed an astral experience of death and the afterlife. Very interesting.




And now the last dream that I have to tell about, and the real reason for making this post, happened just last night. It started out as a typical dream about old friends and lost loves, a type of dream that I have often. But towards the end of the dream I became lucid, ...Last night however, as I became lucid on a landscape that appeared to be the outside patio of a small cafe at night, I approached a man sitting at a table. I asked a question, one that was very important to me though it escapes me now. The man at the table responded, "You'll have to find your Spirit Guide." I remember thinking after that I should ALSO ask what happens after death, but then thought to myself "No, He will just respond the same, I need to ask my spirit guide." After that I lost lucidity and woke up. This 'dream memory' is something that happens to people who journey in dreams- perhaps you do too. I tend to think that whether this person was a self aspect or not, he is guiding you to the next thing you have to strive for- higher self reconnection. Once you start doing this guides manifest, whether they are aspects of yourself, or an independent entity.


...I find my spirit guide. The question now is, how do I find them Your spirit guide is always with you- so you don't have to 'find' it as much as be open and receptive to perceiving it. The act of wanting to connect (or rather, perceive the connection) will be enough to start the ball rolling; information will come to you as you look for ways to do this. In fact, I'm pretty sure that within the Mysticism forum & the Parallel realities forum you will find direction, and eventually you will get 'what' you need to do next.

It's like having someone walking next to you, and you never turned your head- now that you are working on 'turning your head' (that is, expanding your awareness via meditation and projection) it will be a matter of recognizing what happens. And this can be in projection, meditative trance, or just plain synchronicities in your life.
Just keep your eyes open for anything- don't fix your expectations on any given thing.

[Kevin]

Thanks CFT. Your posts are always insightful. I have to admit, your insight is the first I seek whenever I visit the site :D

[outofbodydude]

Kevin did you ever finish the MAP course?

[Kevin]

Kevin did you ever finish the MAP course?

Sorry for the long delay in a response oobd. I have not yet finished the course but with the new year I have renewed my resolve to achieve my out of body goal, as well as trying to perceive my higher self in the hopes of learning more about life and what happens after our lives end on the physical plane.

[Kevin]

In an attempt to once again push towards becoming more spiritually developed, I have once again started the 90 Day MAP program. I have settled on not pushing myself, however. The time frame to me is less important than my own personal understanding of myself and why I am undertaking this practice once again. My first step is always to start recording my dreams again. When I first start, I always have trouble. But slowly it gets easier with time. This is the dream I recorded from this mornings early hours:

January 15th -

I dreamed that I was once again in school. This is a reoccurring theme in many of my dreams. I often dream that I am back in high school. In the past, another common component was the feeling that I did not belong. I was always struggling. I would forget my class schedules, forget what I needed to do, be hopelessly lost in the subject matter, or that I haven't done the required reading and generally just wander around the school lost. Last nights dream was noticeably different. I was already in class, and I was in college (no longer high school). The class seemed similar to a class I am currently attending, even the teacher reminded me vaguely of my real life teacher. I was not lost of left behind and I actually felt at home in the class, though I did discover that I forgot to do some assigned homework (I have a very real problem doing homework in real life too, though this usually comes down to a lack of time rather than just forgetting). As we left class, I lingered in the hall and as the teacher passed she said goodbye to me by name. When I got outside I found that the bus had already left. I was peeved because I knew that I had followed my normal everyday schedule and it was the bus that had left early. My wife picked me up however, in the car that we actually drive. I rode in the car facing out the back window, which came to be a very disorienting experience. Though I was facing backward, it seemed that I was traveling forward. Finally I turned around and it seemed to me that the road before us, which was like a raised highway, was swaying, making it seem more dangerous than it normally was. But in the dream it seemed that my perceptions were enhanced to get this experience because I knew that it normally did not appear this way, and for some reason I wondered if other-worldly visitors would perceive these roads as more dangerous than we do.

That is all I remember. I think the education part of my dream deals with that part of my ego. I strive for knowledge and learning. In the past these dreams have signified anxiety and a lack of that knowledge, but I think that last nights dream symbolizes that I am happy with my current progression along these lines.

Comments, Observations?

[Kevin]

Just a brief post to say that I am starting anew on the MAP program, this time with my wife finally agreeing to try it out with me. I'm hopeful that with the two of us working on it, we will be able to keep each other on the system better than I have been able to keep myself on it.

[Kevin]

Day 1

Of to a slow start, but at least it is a start. I am severely out of practice in terms of meditating and energy work and getting back to it, I found it a little hard. I was expecting as much really and the fact that I am still slightly sick with a chest cold certainly doesn't help. During the 20 minutes of listening to the brain wave generator and the 5 minutes of breath awareness I found that my thoughts would wander quite a bit. Some of that is expected I know. It seemed that my wife took to it pretty well. She said her easiest exercise was the 20 minutes spent listening to the brain wave generator. She even said it seemed like the shortest of all of the exercises and that the 5 minutes of breath awareness was hardest and seemed the longest. We will have to work on both exercises.

In fact, I may take some time during a break today and try to do some additional breath work and some energy body stimulation.

Kevin.