nkd MAP Journal

[nkd]

Hello everyone, today I will officially start the MAP program and I want to write a day by day journal of my progress and experiences. By doing this I will be publicly compromised to be constant in my training and hopefully this will help other people with the same goal as me--an out of body experience. I would also appreciate any feedback throughout my training.

This will be a 90 day journal.

I want to start with some information about me... I am a 21 years old male. I have been interested in OBE's since 3 years ago and I have read books like "journeys out of the body" by R. Monroe, "out of body experiences" by R. Peterson. Actually, I find a little funny that all the books I own about OBE related topics have authors with the first name Robert (including Robert Bruce who is one of the authors of the MAP program).

I have had the MAP book for almost two years now but I failed at the first atemp to do the program. My experience with trying to have an OBE ended up in complete frustration and the belief that I would never have one. In that time I tried really hard but the most I was able to get was dreaming twice about having an OBE and loosing complete control over my dream.

One year passed without me trying again, but recently I maneged to get a copy of the "Gateway Expercience" by hemi-sync. I thought that would be my solution and I started the program 5 days ago. In the 5th lesson the guy in the tape just says: "OK, now roll out of your body". Well, I visualized it but it did not happen. In that same lesson I was supposed to fall asleep at the count of 10, which also did not happen... So I think I was not getting anywhere with the program that I thought would be my magical solution.

Then I remembered I had a copy of the MAP and decided to start that program again; and write this journal. I am very determined to do this and I really hope to achieve my goal this time.

[nkd]

** Day 1 ** April 5 2007
Today I read the first pages of the book all the way until day one. I will count this day as day 1 even though I started at half day and I was not able to do my dream journal, etc.. I read some threads in the astraldynamics forum to fill my mind with OBE material. I also ordered the astral dynamics book from amazon and other two OBE related books.
I recited a couple of times the affirmations and at night I did the following exercises: Lower legs relaxation, breathing awareness and mobile body awareness. I did the exercises in front of my computer (in a chair which has upper back support but no head support). I felt that I could get really focused in my breathing but for short amounts of time; then some foreign thoughts would come and the process started again. The relaxation of legs I think it went OK (at least I felt my muscles relaxed compared to the contractions of my muscles when I was tensing them). I do not know how well I did the mobile body awareness.. I am not sure how “real” the feeling of the tracing should feel when done mentally. I tried half of the exercise in a sitting position and the other half laying down on my back.
I printed some copies of the dream journal template and I am ready for writing my keywords tomorrow. Recently I never remember my dreams so this is going to be hard for me. I am conscious this is going to be my greatest weakness, remembering my dreams and OBE’s.

[Beekeeper]

Good luck this time around, nkd. The online journal should motivate you.

As for dream recall, mine is always better when I get enough sleep and if I'm mentally quiet as I fall asleep. Be sure to make writing in your dream journal the first thing you do after you wake up in the morning.

Having some familiarity with Monroe's cds, and based on what you've said about them, I think you may not have followed the instructions entirely accurately. (Hmm, I'll have to resume those cds at some point myself).

[nkd]

Good luck this time around, nkd. The online journal should motivate you.

As for dream recall, mine is always better when I get enough sleep and if I'm mentally quiet as I fall asleep. Be sure to make writing in your dream journal the first thing you do after you wake up in the morning.

Having some familiarity with Monroe's cds, and based on what you've said about them, I think you may not have followed the instructions entirely accurately. (Hmm, I'll have to resume those cds at some point myself).

Thank you for the input. Do not get me wrong, I think the hemi-sync cd's are great. I believe I DID follow the instructions correctly but I probably need to spend like one whole month working on the focus 10 thing. I will try again the Gateway Experience AFTER I successfully complete the MAP program because its probably too advanced for me and I should learn the basics first like an effective body relaxation technique, clearing my mind from other thoughts and remembering my dreams because in one of the tapes I fell asleep and what if I had an OBE but I do not remember?

[nkd]

** Day 2 ** April 6 2007

I woke up with an alarm clock I set up in my computer which starts playing random mp3’s from my music library. When I first heard the music playing and opened my eyes I was able to remember some scenes of my dream but I did the worst thing I could have done, I assumed that my dream was to “easy to remember” and that I would not have any problem remembering it so I did not wrote any keywords and I closed my eyes and fell asleep again. My alarm clock started to play the music at 7am and I finally woke up completely at 10am. In that lapse of time I slept and woke up like 5 times. When I finally woke up I did not remembered anything about my dream. the only thing I remembered was that I thought it was very easy to remember and that it was impossible for me to forget. Well, it happened and I did forget. I have no clue what was that dream about... Luckily when I slept again I had like three other dreams. I was able to record some keywords for two of them (I actually do not remember very well the details but at least I was able to write like three keywords). When I was taking a shower I was trying very hard to remember more details about the dreams and I ended up remembering a scene from another dream I had. I wrote what I could remember (which was not much) and I ended up with keywords from three different dreams but with almost no detail. At least I was able to remember something about my dreams because usually I do not remember anything at all. I will keep up with my dream journal and slowly I will start to remember more and more details about my dreams. Actually I have been in this cycle before:
1) I do not remember anything about my dreams
2) I start a dream journal and I start to remember one or two words
3) After some days I start remembering my dreams with plenty more detail
4) I start remembering not just one dream but two or three dreams in a night.
5) I stop writing in the dream journal and I stop remembering my dreams.
So I know in advance that the dream journal works but the hard part is being consistent in writing it every day. Right now I took the first step which is starting it, and this time I will not let myself fail.

I will start asking myself if I am dreaming as a daily affirmation because I do not just want to remember my dreams but I want to have lucid dreams to double my chances in having an OBE.

I did the exercises at night. sitting in my hard backed computer chair without shoes and with a pillow below my feet. The lower body relaxation went OK but I am still getting used to the whole sitting meditation thing because I have always done it laying down in my bed.

In the breathing exercise I discovered that I can remain more focused if I pay attention to my belly movement while breathing instead of focusing just in my breathing. I visualize the inward and outward movement.

The body awareness exercise went better than the one I did yesterday, but I had to do some cheating... I opened my eyes and did the motion with my other hand finger (without actually touching) but visualizing as if it was touching. I was able to feel this way the energy moving through my thumb. it was really cool I felt like if my left hand index had some sort of magnetic field which moved the inside of my thumb. I tried to recreate the same effect using just my mind but it was not that powerful. I also had trouble with the “sponge action”.

Its late now and I have ready my dream journal. I hope I can make some progress tomorrow in my dream recall ability.

[nkd]

** Day 3 ** April 7 2007

I woke up two times in the middle of the night to capture some dream keywords. I thought that by just writing some words would be enough to remember the dream... for my surprise, when I tried to read the keywords in the morning they were almost unreadable. I was able to read only two words and they gave me no clue at all of my two midnight dreams. The funny thing is that I did remember a scene from another dream I had this night and I wrote it down in my piece of paper.

My lesson learned is that from now on I will write all the details about the dream instead of just a few keywords; or at least I will try to write clearly so I can understand what I wrote. The problem with this night was that I wrote the keywords with my eyes closed. Not a very good idea.

Like every other day I did my daily exercises at night. I dimmed the lights and I started with the relaxation and breathing routine. I feel like I am getting used to getting relaxed while sitting.

After clearing my mind I began with the body awareness exercises. I started with my right thumb. Like yesterday, I had to open my eyes and first rub my skin and then do the motion with my left index finger as if it was touching my skin. It works wonders because I could feel energy moving through up and down my thumb. I was actually visualizing that my index finger was firing a laser that penetrated my thumb. After some minutes I was able to do the same thing but with my eyes closed (but still doing the motion with my index finger); it had the same effect.

I did the same procedure with my left thumb, my right toe, and my left toe. feeling the energy in my toes was more difficult than feeling it in my thumbs, but after a while I started feeling something. I moved my feet very close to each other and I did the same thing but with both toes at the same time (splitting my awareness), this time I used my index and middle finger at the same time to recreate the motion. After some minutes of practice I tried to do it with my eyes closed and without any motion of my fingers. I visualized a scene of my fingers doing the up and down motion and I was able to feel the energy : ) I did the same thing with my two thumbs.

I do not feel much difference with the brushing action and the sponging action. I just visualize up and down movement and I feel something moving inside my thumbs and toes which I believe is the main goal of the exercise.

I am ready for tomorrow and I am a spirit in a body capable of experiencing dimensions beyond physical existence. and.. I recognize each morning as a fresh opportunity to hone my astral memory ;)

[nkd]

** Day 4 ** April 8 2007

I woke up in the middle of the night to record my ‘dream keywords’. This time I payed attention to write with my eyes open and with good handwriting. Also I tried to write everything I could and not just few words. I was able to write one whole paragraph with approximately 50 words (compared to just a few words which was what I have been able to write on previous days). I went to sleep again and in the morning I had no more memories of other dreams. I remembered just one dream this night but with much more detail than other nights.

In the noon I was very tired and I took a nap. when I woke up I remained for some seconds in a state of knowing I was dreaming but feeling my physical body sleeping; I thought “this is your opportunity to become lucid” and I tried to keep dreaming while repeating the phrase “this is a dream” but I became more and more aware of my physical body and I woke up. I remembered my dream and I started writing it. This time I wrote a paragraph of about 100 words. this was much more than what I remembered today in the morning! I think I am going to start not an electronic dream journal instead of those blank pages that everyone can read.

At night I completed the daily exercises. Today I did not notice any improvement in my breathing awareness. My mind was a little bit distracted. I spent a lot more than 10 minutes in the body awareness because I had to do toe by toe and then all toes at the same time. I noticed some energy in all my toes but I was not completely satisfied. I noticed I can get better results by imagining and feeling balls of energy moving inside my toes instead of a brush or a sponge.

[nkd]

** Day 5 ** April 9 2007

Last night I did not activate my alarm clock to see if I would remember better my dreams today. When I woke up I was in complete shock because I did not remembered any dream! I slept again for a few minutes and I had a very short dream and suddenly, while being in that dream, I remembered my other dream and I woke up. I wrote everything down in my dream journal. It wasn’t much but at least I remembered something.

At night I did my daily exercises. I started with the relaxation routine. It went smoothly and I felt very relaxed afterwards. I do not like to time the relaxation routine. I am more of the idea that it takes the time it has to take and if you are timing it then you wont relax properly.

For the breathing awareness I have found very important to put a timer or otherwise I will start worrying about how much time I have been concentrating in my breathing. And I will start with philosophical questioning about how will I know when to stop if I am not thinking in anything... so the best way is to put a timer with sound and when I hear the sound then its time to stop.

The body awareness went great! I was supposed to start with my toes and then my feet but I started right away with the stirring motion in my right foot (the book says to start with the left foot I do not why but I started with my right foot). This time I did not used my fingers at all. I just tried to remember how would it feel if I were actually touching my sole. I started feeling energy after some seconds. Then I imagined the brush and the feeling was much more intense, and it grew more with the sponge. The book is right in that you feel your feet like when they fall asleep and then restore circulation. I did each foot separately and then both feet at the same time. I was very happy with the results. I found much more easy to target my whole foot than to target one toe.

[bastien001]

** Day 5 ** April 9 2007

I am more of the idea that it takes the time it has to take

> That's a good overview about relaxation.



** Day 5 ** April 9 2007

For the breathing awareness I have found very important to put a timer or otherwise I will start worrying about how much time I have been concentrating in my breathing. And I will start in philosophical questioning about how will I know when to stop if I am not thinking in anything... so the best way is to put a timer with sound and when I hear the sound then its time to stop.

> use whatever tools help you to feel more confident.

[bastien001]

I will try again the Gateway Experience AFTER I successfully complete the MAP program because its probably too advanced for me and I should learn the basics first like an effective body relaxation technique

> myself, I had no success with Hemi sync but I think you can go over it after MAP.
It's like learning to walk : MAP is learning to walk, HemiSYnc Gateway is offering you a ballad. But can you just enjoy a nice walk if you just can't walk fine ?
The missing poin t to me in Hemi Sync is the all-important MAP concept of ''silght discomfort'' and trance state (which will come later in MAP).
Like Beekeeper, I think one day I will come over Hemi sync again using MAP tools and I can foersee the hemi sync experiences will be tremendous ! But it might be just after having had some OBEs.

MAP is sooooo powerful. When you'll get at the end of the program, you 'll feel like someone with superskills, it will just boost you into OBEs. Your bed will become a departure station for space travel, as I like to call it.
You'll just clap hands when back from experiences you'll come to love, like I do. And you'll just send many kisses to Robert and Brian, on this very site...hum, am I foreseeing the future ? ;)

[nkd]

MAP is sooooo powerful. When you'll get at the end of the program, you 'll feel like someone with superskills, it will just boost you into OBEs. Your bed will become a departure station for space travel, as I like to call it.
You'll just clap hands when back from experiences you'll come to love, like I do. And you'll just send many kisses to Robert and Brian, on this very site...hum, am I foreseeing the future ? ;)

I can't wait to finish the program then! Making this online journal is really helping me to be consistent with my training. The first time I attempted it I just did the first day and then completely forgot about the program because I started trying to have OBE's with methods I had read which only lead me to frustration. Right now I am almost done with the first week. Some weeks more and I could be already writing about my OBE experiences : ) this is going to be sooo great.

[nkd]

** Day 6 ** April 10 2007

Today it happened the same as yesterday; I woke up without remembering my dream and then I slept again, the second time I did remember my dream and I finished up remembering the other dream also. I did not remember too much detail of any of the dreams. I have to start reading my dream journal entries before going to sleep.

In the noon I tried to make a projection. I laid down in my bed and focused in my breathing. after some minutes I felt all my body with energy (similar to the feeling of the body awareness exercises) but in every part of the body. I remained some minutes like that and then I stopped and continued with my day.

At night I did my daily exercises. Today I used for the first time the brainwave generator. I am not sure yet if I like it or if I prefer doing the exercises without it. I was very tired and the body awareness did not went to well. I spent a lot of time just to start feeling something in my toes. I do not know if I spent all my energy when trying to project. I had a dong in my mind also and it didn’t want to get away. Today was the first day I have the song in my mind problem.

In conclusion I was not happy with today’s results. But I am ready for tomorrow. The last day of the first week : )

[bastien001]

I can't wait to finish the program then!

Right now I am almost done with the first week. Some weeks more and I could be already writing about my OBE experiences : ) this is going to be sooo great.

> MAP will bring you such powerful tools you will look at yourself saying :"wewh. am I that powerful ?''.

[bastien001]

** Day 6 ** April 10 2007
In conclusion I was not happy with today’s results.

I will borrow from Master Bruce, but ''never give up''. Do a little bit each day. Your new competences you will learn during MAP are so precious, just open yourself till the end of MAP. If you get any discouragement, think just that you can just have results with practice.
The DOING is the key to discouraged minds, cause you will get results out of practicing even if you don't want to, or are not in the mood.
MAP is such : whatever your state of mind, practice, and you'll get results.
During MAP when I used to have poor-results sessions, I managed somehow to never get worried and will myself to ''be happy with what I got''. Just allow yourself to be failing at times...be cool. It doesn't matter if you don't do everything right in the first place, 'cause you've found the right path (book) to where you want to go. Soon you'll laugh at video games, when you'll think about what experiences you've had with MAP.
OK, I should let your space for your journal, that seems a good idea, also...

[nkd]

@ bastien001- Thank you for the advice. From now on I'll be allways happy with my training.


** Day 7 ** April 11 2007

I vaguely remembered three dreams. I was able to write a few keywords. I need to work more in my dream recall ability because these last three days I have been remembering less and less and bout my dreams. I need to recite the night;ly affirmations.

I did the daily exercises at night. I have to remember to do them in the afternoon because in the night I am more tired. I decided to not use the brain-wave generator today. I think that it will be better for me to learn to relax without it. The relaxation routine went smoothly; I have memorized it and I specially like the face relaxation because after doing it I feel my face very relaxed. The breathing awareness went OK; I managed to be most of the time focused in my breathing.

When I started doing the energy work my and I was trying to visualize the brushing movements my mind started wondering and I could not focus just in my legs. I tried and tried and slowly I started feeling some energy. At some point I found that I could get more focused with my eyes opened and looking at my legs. Curiously by doing that my mind would stop wondering and I could get focused on the energy movements. By the way, this is something I have noticed about myself: that if I close my eyes, I can not get very focused; but if I have my eyes opened then I can look at one spot and not think in anything. if I look for example at my legs then I can focus just in my legs.

I was a little tired and I think I was able to feel the bouncing but just for a few seconds. Then I got very distracted. I think I will try to do the bouncing again right now in my bed before falling asleep.

[nkd]

** Day 8 ** April 12 2007

I started the day remembering a nightmare. It was very interesting because its been YEARS since I had a nightmare. I am wondering if its true that I haven’t had a nightmare for all these years, or maybe I have but I do not remember because usually I do not remember my dreams recently (before starting the MAP program). I remembered some parts but I need to keep working in my dream recall because I do not remember the details just the main event.

In the afternoon I read the introduction to week 2. I was so happy to read that feeling less energy in the body awareness was actually a good thing and not a bad thing! I thought that each time I did the exercises I was supposed to feel more and more energy; and this is one of the reasons my last week 1 days went not so good--I was expecting to get more intense feelings. I wish the book had told me that before!

I ended up doing the exercises at night again. The breathing awareness went great. I felt really concentrated on the last minute of breathing (after the 12 deep breaths). Today I had to do energy work for the hands. It took me some time to start up and I used some manual tracing but after a while I was doing it just with my mind. After finishing with the hands I did a little bit of leg energy work.

[Kevin]

I know what you mean about nightmares, it seems like forever since I've had one either. Though I do sometimes have dreams that I am getting chased and I am either running or fighting my way out of things. I don't consider these bad dreams, just sometimes uncomfortable to spend a whole dream with a world set against you.

[nkd]

Note:
April 13 20007 - I could not train this day because I was extremely busy. I was not relaxed, I had a headache and I was tired. I will consider this day as lost and I'll do Day 9 tomorrow.

[CFTraveler]

Note:
April 13 20007 - I could not train this day because I was extremely busy. I was not relaxed, I had a headache and I was tired. I will consider this day as lost and I'll do Day 9 tomorrow. Don't consider it as lost! Consider it as recuperative! Rest is part of growth.

[nkd]

** Day 9 ** April 14 2007

Today I completed my exercises very late at night. I used the brainwave generator but I think I am liking it better without it. I was not able to be very focused on the body awareness exercise my mind was falling asleep. I was trying to remain conscious but next thing I noticed my mind was thinking in other things like almost dreaming. The feeling was like when you are so tired that your eyes close automatically and you do not notice the moment when you close your eyes. It was like that but with my mind. I do not know if this was because of using the brainwave or just because I was tired and it was late. I will try tomorrow without the brainwave...

I could feel some energy in my arms. I think I can feel more if I manage to get more focused. or maybe it is a good sign that I do not have energy blockages in my arm. This sound like a possibility because one year ago when I was trying to have an OBE I think I achieved a partial OBE with just my arms.

I have been remembering my dreams with the same detail as these last days (very little detail). This night I only remembered one dream.

I received the books I ordered today!! astral dynamics and far journeys. I’ll read a few pages every night befor going to sleep.

I haven’t been saying the affirmations recently. I have to start doing that.

[bastien001]

[quote="nkd"]I received the books I ordered today!! astral dynamics and far journeys. quote]

far Journeys...excellent book.

[nkd]

** Day 10 ** April 15 2007

I did not remembered my dream today. Today’s exercises were almost the same as the ones I did yesterday (arms energy work). I did a great job on the breathing awareness, but the body energy I have to practice more. I want to do those exercises throughout the day but my work is consuming me.

I started reading Far Journeys and I will read some pages every night before going to sleep. Hopefully that will program my mind with OBE material for the night.

I am not remembering to say the daily affirmations so I think I’ll have to write them down in a piece of paper and have them in my pocket throughout the day. Every-time that I put my hand in my pocket I will remember and read them.

[Kevin]

** Day 10 ** April 15 2007

I want to do those exercises throughout the day but my work is consuming me.

Wow do I know that feeling. I thought at the beginning of this program that I wanted to maybe do some extra work at my desk, but that proves impossible. I do sometimes get to work on them during my lunch breaks.


I am not remembering to say the daily affirmations so I think I’ll have to write them down in a piece of paper and have them in my pocket throughout the day. Every-time that I put my hand in my pocket I will remember and read them.

I tend to have a problem with them too nkd, but I must say that your idea is fantastic! I might just borrow that idea and use it myself! Kudos! I can't seem to keep my hands OUT of my pockets during the day.

[nkd]

April 16 2007

Today’s dream was so wired and funny I have to share it; I dreamed that I was naked in a supermarket. I do not remember more details...

I took this day off because I had too much work



** Day 11 ** April 16 2007

I did not remember any dream today! : (

I do not know what happened with my dream memory, it was going so well on the first days..

I trained very late at night. The relaxation and breathing awareness went like every other day. Today exercise was the spine bouncing. The book tells the true in that it is one of the hardest exercises. I had trouble feeling energy on my tailbone. I have found funny that when I try to shift my awareness i.e from my head to my tailbone and the other way around, I move my eyes like if I wanted to “see” the part I am focusing on (I do this with my eyes closed). I do not know if this is a good or a bad thing to do.

[bastien001]

I move my eyes like if I wanted to “see” the part I am focusing on (I do this with my eyes closed). I do not know if this is a good or a bad thing to do.

> Well, I highly recommend to use non moving eyes. You don't want to move your eyes with *any* energy work movements. Get to this as soon as you feel ready, progressively if needed.

> Also, remember Robert & Brian say you can use eyes open in the very beginning to get things accustomed to, but the purpose is however to get to eyes closed asap.

Bastien

[nkd]

** Day 12 ** April 18 2007

I started the day happily because I remembered four dreams this night : ). I was getting scared because yesterday I did not remembered any dream but today I am very happy with the results.

I had a lot of work to do and i was very close to skip my training. It was almost 2am in the morning but decided I needed to train because I had already skipped a training day this week. The first thing I did was reading the book to look at a preview of today’s exercise; it was the whole body bouncing. I read that the exercise should be done lying down (instead of sitting) so I thought that was nice because I was tired.

I laid down on my bed, and for the first time, I did the relaxation and breathing awareness in a non sitting position. I tried to be quick because I was tired so I did a quick relaxation and a normal breathing awareness (without counting to 12) just focusing for some seconds in my breathing.

I started with an ultra-quick legs brushing and arm brushing action. Then, I raised my arms so they where lying past my head and focused on my hands and head. then I focused on my feet. I notices it was easier to focus on my hands and head than on my feet. when I was feeling energy in my hands and head and then focused on my feet I noticed I kept feeling energy in my hands and head and was somewhat difficult to ‘transfer’ all that energy down.

What happened next is difficult to describe. I tried the bouncing in my whole body, trying to go from my feet to my head and hands and back again to my feet with a fast motion. At that moment I started feeling a VERY STRONG sensation. It is difficult to describe but it was like being extremely out of balance. I said to myself: this is working! today I will achieve an OBE!! I tried to keep doing what I was doing but after some minutes the sensation disappeared. I am sure I almost projected. this whole body bounce completely took me for surprise. I am very exited and i am just hopping I can replicate what I felt yesterday on my future training days.

[nkd]

@bastien001, @Kevin, @CFTraveler - Thank you for all the previous comments and observations. I really appreciate them.


** Day 13 ** April 19 2007

I barely remembered my dream today.

I was so exited to do the training because of yesterdays experience. I was very confident I had mastered the technique to feel the things I felt. I mean, if I was able to do it yesterday why wouldn’t I be able to do it today right? well, I was wrong.

Usually I eat a big bowl of pasta at night, but I wait like two hours after that to do my training. Well, today I just ate a salad. I was preparing the perfect condition for what I though it was going to be my first OBE exit. Yesterday I did a very quick relaxation and very quick breathing awareness when lying down but today I did my exercises in a sitting position (like every other day) and I did them slowly and without hurries. I also used the brainwave generator to do the exercises (something I did not do yesterday). it all went smoothly. When I was ready I laid down on my bed and started doing some energy work on my foot and arms. After that I was ready for the whole body bounce. I started but... I was not feeling what I felt yesterday. I kept trying for a while but nothing happened.

I do not know if the fact that I used the brainwave generator before trying the body bounce had something to do, or the fact that I did the relaxation in a sitting position, or the ultrafast relaxation and ultra fast breathing awareness was more effective... or maybe I wont be feeling that anymore while doing the body bounce and it was a one time thing. I’ll have to wait and see. For now I wont be using the brainwave because I have had better results without it.

[nkd]

** Day 14 ** April 20 2007

Today I tried again to reproduce what I felt two days ago (now without listening to the brainwave) but I had no luck. I think its not working because I am concentrating more on getting the results rather than the actual exercise. The first day I was not expecting anything and I was just focusing on my energy. I will stop worrying about having an OBE and I’ll start focusing more on the exercises.

[nkd]

** Day 15 ** April 21 2007

I am officially in week three!

Today I remembered two dreams. I wrote some keywords and now that I am reading them I remember just few details about the dream.

I read the intro to week 3. My goal this week is to have at least one lucid dream. I haven’t had one in years. I had been making already some reality checks but apparently they are not being enough because I never ask myself if I am dreaming when I am on a dream. This is going to be my new reality check: when I am with a person (any person) I will ask myself if I am dreaming, I will try to extend my finger to reach the wall. Everytime I enter a room, I will turn on and off the lighting and ask if I am dreaming.

I started my nightly exercises with the brainwave 15 seconds pulse preset. I think that was very easy for me and I am ready for the next level. I had no problem at all with my thoughts except that I was bothered by the constant tones that I felt they were to close from each other; this is why I want to do the next level already. I did not do the whole 20 minutes but I did 9 minutes (three rounds of three minutes). after that I did the regular relaxation and then the breathing awareness imagining the clouds. I was not sure if I should be exhaling through the mouth or through the nose so that created some chit-chat in my mind. I felt was easier to clear my mind without imagining the clouds (with just normal breathing) but maybe thats because I have bee practicing the normal breathing awareness for much linger time. I have to mention that the most usefull methid for clearing my mind was with a mantra used in the gateway experience from hemi-sync. Two days ago when I almost achieved the OBE I used that breathing mantra and it worked like a charm. The MAP book tells me to do not use mantras...

I did the body bounce while I remained sited in my hard backed chair (I did not tried to do it lying down like the other days, and I did not tried to leave my body). I still have doubts on how exactly the bouncing should be done. The way I did it today was to focus on the top of my head and then change my focus immediately to the tips of my toes, then back to my head.

I did for the first time the exercise to charge my navel energy storage. I have to practice it more because I felt energy rising to my head but I had trouble feeling the energy going down. I want to practice until I could feel a lot of energy in my navel. I’ll try to do this exercise many times throughout the day (i.e, when I am eating, or taking a bath, etc).

I will listen to the brainwave “sleep” preset lying on the floor and then I am going to go to sleep.

[CFTraveler]

I had trouble feeling the energy going down Try to imagine (in a feeling way) a bucket of water poised at the top of your head. When you raise your energy all the way to your crown, 'tip the bucket' and feel it as water running down your front, and pooling into your subnavel center. If necessary, imagine you have a bucket in there, filling with the water that has run down. Let me know if this helps.

[nkd]

@CFTraveler- thanks for the tip. The funny thing is that this is exactly what I was visualizing (water running from my head to my navel). I can visualize it very well but I can't "feel" it when it is running down. I just get the picture but not the feeling. Yesterday I tried a differen approach: I was standing in front of a mirror and I was tracing with my hand (without touching) the path from my head to my navel and I could feel the energy moving. I have noticed that I depend a lot on my eyes because I can focus better with the eyes open I can quiet my mind better qith the eyes open and I can feel the energy better with my eyes open.

April 22, 23, 24, 25 :
I haven't been able to "officialy" train these days. I have had too much work and stress... But I have tried to do at least some of the exercises of "Day 16". Because I have not donde the complete set of exercises I won't count the training day as completed.

The first thing I have tried is the brainwave generator 30 seconds pulse preset. I thought of the 15 seconds pulse asvery easy to do but I am having problems for completing the 30 seconds pulse. I can't keep my mind all that time without wondering. There are times when I think I am not thinking in anything but then I realize I am imagining something ar thinking something very deep in my mind... I have tried it for 3 or 4 days but I will nees more days to keep improving. I'll keep doing the 30 seconds pulse for now...

I also tried one day the exercice where I had to draw numbers and focus on them. That day I was very stressed and only was able to complete the exercise from 1 to 4.

I have heard the lucid dreaming brainwave preset but just for 10 minutes before going to sleep. I havent had a lucid dream, and I never remember to do my reality checks. I have to figure out a better method of asking myself if I am dreaming.

[nkd]

** Day 16 ** April 28 207
These days I have written just like 3 or 4 keywords about my dreams. I need to focus more on writing my dreams.

For the ring technique I wrote the 12 numbers in a white blackboard instead of in pieces of paper. I was able to complete the exercise from number 1 to 12 without a problem. I am still in the 30 seconds pulse preset and I am having a hard time keeping my mind quiet for such a long period but I think I am improving.


** Day 17 ** April 29 2007

Similar to yesterday’s training. The spot focus method works like a charm for me. It is the method I have always used and I have no problems quieting my mind when i am staring at something. It is when I have my eyes closed when I have problems.