Neil Templar
17th January 2019, 10:42 PM
Last year, over a few weeks/months, i experienced a dreamstate relationship with an entity/ aspect of self which, after the first conscious encounter, i simply referred to as The Reptilian.
The first encounter, I still fully remember. The ones that followed, I have less detailed recall of now, but the progression from the initial encounter towards the final one, I'll summarise here.
It should be noted that towards the end of 2017 and into the first months of 2018, I went through a genuine alchemical inner transformation.
I'll post about that in the spiritual development forum shortly, and leave a link here in case anyone's interested. It's all part of the same journey after all, isn't it?
The first encounter -
I become self aware in the dreamstate.
I'm in a room, lying on a bed.
Either side of me stand two nurses.
One of them is injecting something into my arm.
I feel myself become groggy. My thinking becomes slow, difficult. Trying to think, i feel my consciousness has the consistency of treacle, but I'm self aware and alarmed enough to fight the urge to fall asleep. I remain conscious, albeit, slow and cumbersome feeling.
I lift my head and speak to the nurses, asking them where I am, and what they've given me. Forcing my voice through the thick tar of my mind and out of my throat is a real challenge.
The nurse closest tells me not to worry, to just relax.
I glance at the other nurse, who's on her way out of the room.
She looks at me, and in that moment, her face turns dark and contorts into a demonic grimace, (like Bilbo in LOTR when he wants to hold the ring one last time.)
With that, I know I'm dealing with an unfriendly bunch, and I'm going to need to get out of there.
I keep myself awake, and after a while, muster enough strength to sit up in the bed.
The nasty nurse comes back into the room, most displeased when she sees me upright.
I demand to be allowed to leave, telling her she has no right to keep me there.
She says okay, and tells me I'll have to go see nurse something-or-other, to be discharged.
I swing my legs out of the bed, and she leads me to a nurse who's sitting at a desk, in the hallway.
The front doors are in sight, behind her.
The nurse at the desk tells me it'll take a little while to get my paperwork sorted, so i should have a seat in the waiting room with the other patients.
I see rows of chairs, a few of which are occupied by other people.
I sit down on a chair. In front of me are several people, all apparently waiting for whatever they're waiting for.
Immediately in front of me, one chair to the right, is a man with jet black hair.
He turns around and looks at me, and a look of surprise/shock/awe comes over his face.
He looks excited and starts talking to me -
"I know you!"
"No, I don't think so."
"Yes! Yes I do! I've heard the wonderful music you make! You're so good!"
With that, alarm bells go off in my head.
My mind is a lot less sticky by now, and my thoughts are becoming more fluid.
I've never played any of my own music to a crowd, so I know he's lying.
"No. You definitely haven't heard any of my music!"
"Oh well, perhaps I know you from somewhere else then?"
Then he reached out his hand to shake mine, and i automatically do so.
Our hands clasped, he introduces himself.
"I am, Fernando."
I didn't tell him my name. Instead, I started to challenge him.
"Why are you talking to me?"
"I just want to know you."
Our hands are still clasped together.
"Why are you lying to me?"
With that, a creepy grin appeared on his face, and then he just pulled me closer, so we are eye-to-eye.
He says nothing, just stares right into my eye.
We are so close, all I can see is his right eye, directly in front of mine.
As I stare back, feeling pretty creeped out by this lying creep, his eye suddenly closes, then opens, and I'm staring right into a yellow reptilian eyeball.
I know what I'm dealing with.
That thought was sobering enough to wake me up. A little bit disturbed, but also a little excited.
Was that a genuine reptilian thoughtform taking control of my dreamstate?
What had they injected into me?
My mind instantly made a comparison of the words indoctrinate and doctor.
Some days/weeks later I'm dreaming...
I'm with a group of strangers, being led by a tour guide.
We're walking down a mountain/hill, towards a town by the coast of what looks like the Mediterranean Sea.
It's hot, not a cloud in the sky.
As we walk down the hillside, I start to notice lots of bottles of what looks like whiskey on the ground.
Most of them are half empty. There are a lot of them, and I think this is pretty weird.
We get down to the resort, and are led into what seems to be a hotel.
I'm left to my own devices, and begin to explore.
There's a cool courtyard, shaded by giant palm trees, with tables and chairs to sit at.
I walk through and a group of very attractive young females in bikinis come giggling from a doorway.
They look like they're having fun, and they all say hi to me in unison, as they pass, smiling and catching my eye.
I turn to look as they pass, but then they seem different.
There's something very false about them
I get a feeling of ugliness from them. Like they have broken spirits or something, and are just pretending to be happy.
I feel sad for them.
I move into the building, through a hallway and into a bar.
There are a few men hanging around drinking.
The bartender offers me a free drink, but I'm suspicious now, so i decline.
He tells me everything is free here.
"Take whatever you want. If you see it, it's yours!"
Alarm bells in my mind.
I head up an ornate stair to see what's on the next floor...
The place seems plush, but as i look closer, I notice that paint is cracking and the carpet is worn and old.
Nothing is as it first appears here, I realise.
In the hall at the top of the stairs, i see bottles of booze sitting on tables, sticking out of plant pots. Everywhere.
I walk past an open door. Looking in, I see two women, dressed very provocatively.
Classic stereotype "hookers" straight out of a hollywood movie.
They ask me to come in.
I politely decline and keep moving.
Along the hallway a bit more, an elevator doors slide open, and a group of 5 or 6 young (20's) males spill out, noisy, excited, aggressive.
As a group they barge past me, one of them giving me a menacing stare as he shoulder barges me and then turns to see if I have anything to say to him.
I'm very aware that I can't take on a whole group of guys, so I say nothing and just keep moving.
Now i'm thinking, this place is nothing but temptations and fear.
An interesting thought - is this what the lower astral is like?
At the end of the hall, another stair leads me down again, and I've decided a should find the way out.
I pass through some more communal spaces, people are sitting at tables drinking, talking, some couples are kissing and being intimate.
I pass through a kitchen and along another hallway. Ahead i see a doorway that looks like it leads to the shaded courtyard.
As I reach the door, a dark haired figure appears, greasy looking with a familiar feel.
"Hello my friend. See anything you like?"
I just keep walking.
As I pass though the courtyard and out under a stone arch, I'm relieved to be leaving this nasty little 'resort'...
The moment I wake, I know the dark haired guy is the reptilian.
Another week or two passes..
I become aware of myself, once again in the same, or a similar, 'resort'.
It has a different layout, but the same qualities as last time.
I'm immediately on edge, looking out for potential trouble.
A friendly guy in a white vest comes up and offers me a joint to smoke.
I politely decline. He shrugs.
Same as last time, I start to see temptations littered around in plain sight.
Booze bottles, glasses of whiskey, and bags of illegal substances, in plant pots. On window sills. Lying on the ground.
Now I'm totally wise to what's going on, and I'm just thinking it's all a bit obvious, really.
It seems a bit pathetic. Desperate even.
Then another thought - This is actually a positive experience for me.
I've spent decades of my adult life struggling with addiction.
I realise that I'm literally reprogramming myself, by not giving in to the temptations.
I give myself a mental pat on the back, and I smile, because it's actually not difficult at all!
A group of young guys come around a corner and head straight towards me.
It's clear they mean to attack, and although I'm naturally afraid, I know I'm going to have to fight, so I just surrender to the experience.
The first guy to reach me is quite small, and with surprising strength, I grab him and throw him into the air. He hits the wall and crumples.
A frenzy ensues. I just grab whoever is within reach and throw them to the side, or on top of the others. Once i've thrown two or three of them around, the group run off...
I go round the corner they'd come around, and I find an open door.
Inside a room, another group of men are standing and sitting in a dimly lit room.
I walk in, and recognise 'Fernando' Immediately.
He grins, but not in a friendly way.
One of the guys seems to have a bit of a strange vibe, and then I realise he has some kind of mental and physical disability.
As I look at the others, I can see, or feel, that they're all either afraid of, or in awe of the reptilian.
One of them attempts to insult me, but his limited intelligence is apparent to me as he mis-speaks and uses a word that doesn't make any sense in the sentence.
They all laugh at me, trying to make me feel uncomfortable, but I'm just thinking this is all a bit pathetic.
I feel sorry for the guys, as I realise they're all under Fernando's spell.
I laugh, and look the reptilian in the eye.
In the back of my mind, I'm aware of a shift in energy. I know that I'm past the point of being caught out by his temptations or attempts to frighten me.
"If you're going to try to make me feel stupid, at least make sure you get someone who can talk properly to do it!"
I laugh again and walk out...
The next time I come across the reptilian, things are clearly very different.
It's been weeks, and I've given the whole experience plenty of conscious consideration.
I've become grateful for having had the encounters with it.
I'm now rather sure 'Fernando" isn't actually an entity, but simply and aspect of self designed to assist in my internal re-programming.
I've already decided it doesn't really matter anyway, as I feel empowered by the whole thing, and most definitely unafraid of it.
Again we're in the dimly lit room.
I don't recall if we are alone or not.
It's not really important.
When I see him, I start to thank him.
His face has a look of incredulity at what I'm saying. He simply cannot believe that I'm grateful for his attempts to lead me back into a life of addiction.
His face contorts. Anger. Confusion. Disgust.
And then I surprise myself.
I step forward and embrace him.
"I love you Brother. You've saved me!"
My arms are wrapped around him, and I hold him tightly to my breast.
He struggles but I have a firm grip.
"Thank you Brother. i love you."
He loses form and disappears. :cool:
If any of you are gamers, and have played the game Grand Theft Auto (Vice City), you may well have heard one of the radio stations - Emotion 98.3
The host of the radio show is a totally sleazy misogynistic Latino guy called Fernando Martinez.
We listen to it at work sometimes. It's actually hilarious in it's complete inappropriateness.
The character Fernando basically represents everything that is ignorant and self-centred about human males.
Sometime during this series of encounters I realised that this was where the name came from, which also helped add to my confidence and humour when dealing with further encounters... :-)
The first encounter, I still fully remember. The ones that followed, I have less detailed recall of now, but the progression from the initial encounter towards the final one, I'll summarise here.
It should be noted that towards the end of 2017 and into the first months of 2018, I went through a genuine alchemical inner transformation.
I'll post about that in the spiritual development forum shortly, and leave a link here in case anyone's interested. It's all part of the same journey after all, isn't it?
The first encounter -
I become self aware in the dreamstate.
I'm in a room, lying on a bed.
Either side of me stand two nurses.
One of them is injecting something into my arm.
I feel myself become groggy. My thinking becomes slow, difficult. Trying to think, i feel my consciousness has the consistency of treacle, but I'm self aware and alarmed enough to fight the urge to fall asleep. I remain conscious, albeit, slow and cumbersome feeling.
I lift my head and speak to the nurses, asking them where I am, and what they've given me. Forcing my voice through the thick tar of my mind and out of my throat is a real challenge.
The nurse closest tells me not to worry, to just relax.
I glance at the other nurse, who's on her way out of the room.
She looks at me, and in that moment, her face turns dark and contorts into a demonic grimace, (like Bilbo in LOTR when he wants to hold the ring one last time.)
With that, I know I'm dealing with an unfriendly bunch, and I'm going to need to get out of there.
I keep myself awake, and after a while, muster enough strength to sit up in the bed.
The nasty nurse comes back into the room, most displeased when she sees me upright.
I demand to be allowed to leave, telling her she has no right to keep me there.
She says okay, and tells me I'll have to go see nurse something-or-other, to be discharged.
I swing my legs out of the bed, and she leads me to a nurse who's sitting at a desk, in the hallway.
The front doors are in sight, behind her.
The nurse at the desk tells me it'll take a little while to get my paperwork sorted, so i should have a seat in the waiting room with the other patients.
I see rows of chairs, a few of which are occupied by other people.
I sit down on a chair. In front of me are several people, all apparently waiting for whatever they're waiting for.
Immediately in front of me, one chair to the right, is a man with jet black hair.
He turns around and looks at me, and a look of surprise/shock/awe comes over his face.
He looks excited and starts talking to me -
"I know you!"
"No, I don't think so."
"Yes! Yes I do! I've heard the wonderful music you make! You're so good!"
With that, alarm bells go off in my head.
My mind is a lot less sticky by now, and my thoughts are becoming more fluid.
I've never played any of my own music to a crowd, so I know he's lying.
"No. You definitely haven't heard any of my music!"
"Oh well, perhaps I know you from somewhere else then?"
Then he reached out his hand to shake mine, and i automatically do so.
Our hands clasped, he introduces himself.
"I am, Fernando."
I didn't tell him my name. Instead, I started to challenge him.
"Why are you talking to me?"
"I just want to know you."
Our hands are still clasped together.
"Why are you lying to me?"
With that, a creepy grin appeared on his face, and then he just pulled me closer, so we are eye-to-eye.
He says nothing, just stares right into my eye.
We are so close, all I can see is his right eye, directly in front of mine.
As I stare back, feeling pretty creeped out by this lying creep, his eye suddenly closes, then opens, and I'm staring right into a yellow reptilian eyeball.
I know what I'm dealing with.
That thought was sobering enough to wake me up. A little bit disturbed, but also a little excited.
Was that a genuine reptilian thoughtform taking control of my dreamstate?
What had they injected into me?
My mind instantly made a comparison of the words indoctrinate and doctor.
Some days/weeks later I'm dreaming...
I'm with a group of strangers, being led by a tour guide.
We're walking down a mountain/hill, towards a town by the coast of what looks like the Mediterranean Sea.
It's hot, not a cloud in the sky.
As we walk down the hillside, I start to notice lots of bottles of what looks like whiskey on the ground.
Most of them are half empty. There are a lot of them, and I think this is pretty weird.
We get down to the resort, and are led into what seems to be a hotel.
I'm left to my own devices, and begin to explore.
There's a cool courtyard, shaded by giant palm trees, with tables and chairs to sit at.
I walk through and a group of very attractive young females in bikinis come giggling from a doorway.
They look like they're having fun, and they all say hi to me in unison, as they pass, smiling and catching my eye.
I turn to look as they pass, but then they seem different.
There's something very false about them
I get a feeling of ugliness from them. Like they have broken spirits or something, and are just pretending to be happy.
I feel sad for them.
I move into the building, through a hallway and into a bar.
There are a few men hanging around drinking.
The bartender offers me a free drink, but I'm suspicious now, so i decline.
He tells me everything is free here.
"Take whatever you want. If you see it, it's yours!"
Alarm bells in my mind.
I head up an ornate stair to see what's on the next floor...
The place seems plush, but as i look closer, I notice that paint is cracking and the carpet is worn and old.
Nothing is as it first appears here, I realise.
In the hall at the top of the stairs, i see bottles of booze sitting on tables, sticking out of plant pots. Everywhere.
I walk past an open door. Looking in, I see two women, dressed very provocatively.
Classic stereotype "hookers" straight out of a hollywood movie.
They ask me to come in.
I politely decline and keep moving.
Along the hallway a bit more, an elevator doors slide open, and a group of 5 or 6 young (20's) males spill out, noisy, excited, aggressive.
As a group they barge past me, one of them giving me a menacing stare as he shoulder barges me and then turns to see if I have anything to say to him.
I'm very aware that I can't take on a whole group of guys, so I say nothing and just keep moving.
Now i'm thinking, this place is nothing but temptations and fear.
An interesting thought - is this what the lower astral is like?
At the end of the hall, another stair leads me down again, and I've decided a should find the way out.
I pass through some more communal spaces, people are sitting at tables drinking, talking, some couples are kissing and being intimate.
I pass through a kitchen and along another hallway. Ahead i see a doorway that looks like it leads to the shaded courtyard.
As I reach the door, a dark haired figure appears, greasy looking with a familiar feel.
"Hello my friend. See anything you like?"
I just keep walking.
As I pass though the courtyard and out under a stone arch, I'm relieved to be leaving this nasty little 'resort'...
The moment I wake, I know the dark haired guy is the reptilian.
Another week or two passes..
I become aware of myself, once again in the same, or a similar, 'resort'.
It has a different layout, but the same qualities as last time.
I'm immediately on edge, looking out for potential trouble.
A friendly guy in a white vest comes up and offers me a joint to smoke.
I politely decline. He shrugs.
Same as last time, I start to see temptations littered around in plain sight.
Booze bottles, glasses of whiskey, and bags of illegal substances, in plant pots. On window sills. Lying on the ground.
Now I'm totally wise to what's going on, and I'm just thinking it's all a bit obvious, really.
It seems a bit pathetic. Desperate even.
Then another thought - This is actually a positive experience for me.
I've spent decades of my adult life struggling with addiction.
I realise that I'm literally reprogramming myself, by not giving in to the temptations.
I give myself a mental pat on the back, and I smile, because it's actually not difficult at all!
A group of young guys come around a corner and head straight towards me.
It's clear they mean to attack, and although I'm naturally afraid, I know I'm going to have to fight, so I just surrender to the experience.
The first guy to reach me is quite small, and with surprising strength, I grab him and throw him into the air. He hits the wall and crumples.
A frenzy ensues. I just grab whoever is within reach and throw them to the side, or on top of the others. Once i've thrown two or three of them around, the group run off...
I go round the corner they'd come around, and I find an open door.
Inside a room, another group of men are standing and sitting in a dimly lit room.
I walk in, and recognise 'Fernando' Immediately.
He grins, but not in a friendly way.
One of the guys seems to have a bit of a strange vibe, and then I realise he has some kind of mental and physical disability.
As I look at the others, I can see, or feel, that they're all either afraid of, or in awe of the reptilian.
One of them attempts to insult me, but his limited intelligence is apparent to me as he mis-speaks and uses a word that doesn't make any sense in the sentence.
They all laugh at me, trying to make me feel uncomfortable, but I'm just thinking this is all a bit pathetic.
I feel sorry for the guys, as I realise they're all under Fernando's spell.
I laugh, and look the reptilian in the eye.
In the back of my mind, I'm aware of a shift in energy. I know that I'm past the point of being caught out by his temptations or attempts to frighten me.
"If you're going to try to make me feel stupid, at least make sure you get someone who can talk properly to do it!"
I laugh again and walk out...
The next time I come across the reptilian, things are clearly very different.
It's been weeks, and I've given the whole experience plenty of conscious consideration.
I've become grateful for having had the encounters with it.
I'm now rather sure 'Fernando" isn't actually an entity, but simply and aspect of self designed to assist in my internal re-programming.
I've already decided it doesn't really matter anyway, as I feel empowered by the whole thing, and most definitely unafraid of it.
Again we're in the dimly lit room.
I don't recall if we are alone or not.
It's not really important.
When I see him, I start to thank him.
His face has a look of incredulity at what I'm saying. He simply cannot believe that I'm grateful for his attempts to lead me back into a life of addiction.
His face contorts. Anger. Confusion. Disgust.
And then I surprise myself.
I step forward and embrace him.
"I love you Brother. You've saved me!"
My arms are wrapped around him, and I hold him tightly to my breast.
He struggles but I have a firm grip.
"Thank you Brother. i love you."
He loses form and disappears. :cool:
If any of you are gamers, and have played the game Grand Theft Auto (Vice City), you may well have heard one of the radio stations - Emotion 98.3
The host of the radio show is a totally sleazy misogynistic Latino guy called Fernando Martinez.
We listen to it at work sometimes. It's actually hilarious in it's complete inappropriateness.
The character Fernando basically represents everything that is ignorant and self-centred about human males.
Sometime during this series of encounters I realised that this was where the name came from, which also helped add to my confidence and humour when dealing with further encounters... :-)