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arman
15th December 2015, 09:17 AM
Hello, My name is Ignacio I have already posted an introductory thread in the correspondent section, I will start telling my story briefly and then my problem, please read, I'm desperate.

>Back story

I started in this area when I was 7, without even trying one morning I woke up feeling like I was flotating, indeed I was elevating myself from my body I went to the roof and looked at myself, next to me was someone, very bright and full of sparkling colors if I'm not confused. I saw my father get in the room, open the courtains and take out the dog while my body was asleep. I thought I was dead and asked this entity to take me back with my family, I felt a great punch in my back and woke up in real life, I told my mom inmediatly and she started to cry a little, she told me that when she was 4 she also had an astral experience.

Years have passed and never ever I had another OBE , the last 5 years I tried but there was no result, 3 years ago I used to smoke marijuana, after 1 year I started having panick attacks and depersonalization, I was told by my doc to not try astral projection until getting better.

> Problem

I got better about year and a half ago, Yesterday I wanted to try this for the first time since then using one of Paul Santisi's videos, I wanted to try again in order to ask my ancestors (if possible) about a certain matter.
I played the video and laid on my bed, I got to one point where he was counting backwards from 10 then I can't remember nothing else, I woke up apparently 1 hour and a half after starting due to a phone call, I felt weird, went back to bed and woke up again but I didn't feel like myself, which was weird and freaked me out, the feeling lasted about 10 seconds and went on happening sporadically for about 5 minutes.. I called my gf for relief because she has been with me during the panic attacks I previously mentioned.

Today I wake up and have the same feeling, I woke up this time at 5 am when I should have woken up at 8 am, I woke up suddently, sitting on my bed , trying to understand something, I didnt know myself for some seconds, I had to slap my face to "wake up" I didn't know who I was again.
I'm really scared I don't want to be like this all my life, please help me.
Sorry if I sound way too dramatic but I have had depersonalization for over a year and a half and it was the worst experience to happen to me, I never knew during that time if I was to get better or not.

P.D: I think its important to mention that about 3 years ago when the panic attacks began I tried to have an OBE with the same audio and heard an old man reciting something to my ears, that's where the idea of talking to my ancestors in the astral plane came in.
Thanks.

IA56
15th December 2015, 09:31 AM
Hi Ignacio,

I want to give some encouragement to you to be calm and patience.
The more experienced members will answere you, I can only say that awakened panic in this matters are common.
When you get more knowledge and understanding that your reaction is quite normal, you will feel better.
Hung in there. All is well.

Love
ia

arman
15th December 2015, 12:30 PM
Thanks a lot ! I hope they can tell me if it's common to not feel like oneself while waking up suddently..

newfreedom
15th December 2015, 12:37 PM
Thanks a lot ! I hope they can tell me if it's common to not feel like oneself while waking up suddently..

i have had that happen to me, quite a few times now & it's sooo disturbing till it passes, nothing is familiar. Once or twice, i have also experienced this whilst being awake for a couple of hours, again a very uncomfortable internal space to have to be in.

I have myself never yet discovered the reason for these experiences & so i am therefore unable to guard against these types of experiences happening

IA56
15th December 2015, 01:10 PM
Thanks a lot ! I hope they can tell me if it's common to not feel like oneself while waking up suddently..

I remember when it happened to me, I was also frightened, and did not feel as myself. I was so afraid that I never will feel as me again, so I know how you feel.
But I can not say more, because I have other things I am dealing with, but I will come back to this what has to do with awarness or total awakened projection...

Help is on the way, hung in there :-)

Love
ia

CFTraveler
15th December 2015, 03:13 PM
Hi Ignacio.
It is possible that getting into heavy meditative states is kicking up your depersonalization disorder, because the state in which one is in mind awake/body asleep some senses are attenuated, and you can observe a lot of phenomena that can trigger something in your disorder. The 'noticing' and fascination factor can stimulate it.
I know at least one person who has DD and practices AP successfully, but it took him some years to get his DD under control. I am not sure what the scope of your problem is. I would recommend that you hold off on projection practice until you speak to someone who can successfully manage it and project, and see if this is for you.

Osiris
15th December 2015, 10:50 PM
Greetings

You may want to consider heavy grounding practices, works for me. I've been disassociating all my life.

arman
16th December 2015, 10:08 AM
Thank you for sharing your experiences with me guys, It really helps to know that some of you have been through the same and got better, I wonder how much will it take though.
Today I woke up with a different feeling like if I was really focused on one of my hands, it's so weird, thanksfully it only lasts seconds and only happens while I wake up, still I think it's giving me a hard time to remember why I have to wake up early every day...