Ended Up In A Psych Ward

[Atticus858]

I already wrote a post about this a few months ago, but recently, as of 12 days ago i started feeling really intense energy sensations and anxiety, muscle spasms, depression and fatigue, the anxiety got to a point where every second i fear myself going insane or hurting myself or others and decided to turn myself into a ward.. I've been here for 3 days now and I've been spending every moment working on the anxiety and its getting better... It literally felt like i was dying constantly.. i lost all of my sex drive, appetite.. i was constantly fighting whatever was going on but i decided that instead of fearing that i screwed myself over and going insane and fighting it all that i should just accept what's happening, it was so bad.. ive never experienced such.. desolation in my life, i stopped energy work and only meditate when im having bad anxiety.. i try to ground myself and use positive affirmations and take my mind off of it.. does anyone have any tips for how i can get better?

[CFTraveler]

Just keep meditating and find things to keep your mind busy, like art- refocus your attention on things that don't cause you anxiety.

[ButterflyWoman]

First, let me say, been there, done that (though my admission to the psych ward was involuntary). I won't write out that whole story, but I will tell you that the thing with which I was diagnosed is not a thing for me any more, and apart from a few lingering neurological/emotional scars from my troubled childhood and early adulthood, I'm pretty functional, and with greatly and powerfully expanded awareness.

This will pass. Try to keep a focus, keep meditating (just do basic, calming, mindful meditation; I've found it's extremely helpful to stay as much in the moment and the present as you can). Know that it will pass, because it will. I think it's a good idea that you stopped the energy work for a while. Let that rest, and there are probably already lots of things in motion in that area, so just let that be.

Severe anxiety sucks, and I feel for you, I really do. Focus, present moment, try chanting if that helps (you can chant anythign you like; I have some simple phrases that I use to help calm myself when my anxiety gets out of control). Try to avoid caffeine and other stimulants, at least for a while, as they can make anxiety worse.

Just ride the wave as best you can, and don't struggle against it if you can possibly avoid it. :heart:

[lord.of.the.now]

Stay away from tobacco. I know it's popular practice amongst the people on the ward.

remember...

what poisons the body poisons the mind

[WhiteMonkey]

When I did my first 10 day meditation camp I felt like that too. I felt soo lonley so anxiet so hurt but I faced it and it made me grow and strong. Dont know if that helps you but just to mention that this is rather normal when we start practicing spirituality.

All the best

[Atticus858]

Thanks for the replies.. It's very hard.. I fear insanity greatly and i fear starting a process that im not ready for like kundalini.. ive been feeling a lot of tingling sensations in my base chakra, more like all of my chakras, and i always get scared.. im really frightened.. i want to live and function but i cant at all like this.. it's been going on for 13 days now.. i'm tired of it.. i hope this ends soon.. im really anxious and depressed.. im doing everything i can to take my mind off of it and affirm myself this is only temporary..

[Dreamweaver]

Can you garden? Get your feet and hands in the dirt, nurture some plants? For grounding. Or art - artistic expression can transmute and requalify. Are there good counselors there? Also, if in your meditative practice can you do a visualization with the uncomfortable, anxious energy shooting out of your left hand straight into the ground.

One thing I say to myself (with the conviction of my faith) when I feel attacked by strong anxious energy is "God did not give me a coward soul." In other words, I evoke that what is infusing me - attacking me - has no idea who its dealing with. For me, this stops it.

Maybe an affirmation, evocative of strength for you could be of help.

May you receive strength, understanding and peace.

[ButterflyWoman]

I fear insanity greatly and i fear starting a process that im not ready for like kundalini.
Okay, I know this is easier said than done, but you really, REALLY need to work through that fear as soon as possible. Set the intention to resolve that starting yesterday (you can do that; time, like space, is an illusion).

Fear is a very strong energy of belief, and when you fear something... well, let me quote the Bible when I note Job saying, "That which I feared the most has come upon me". This has been my experience of a lifetime. That which we fear gets a lot of attention, and where attention goes, manifestation happens. Fear is a very powerful energy, and it's not one that's easily controllable, either, so it's best to just release it as completely as possible, as soon as possible.

I was very much afraid of going into a psych ward, and guess where I ended up? I didn't know what kundalini was (only learned about it in the past ten years or so, and my big transformation was in full motion a couple of decades ago), but I was very much afraid of whatever was happening to me, even though on some level I understood that it was a healing process. I believe that part of the reason my transformation was more of a spiritual emergency (that, by the way, is now officially listed in the DSM, the "Bible" of psychiatry, though I don't think it was at the time) than a joyful awakening. There were other factors at play with me, as well, so I don't want to frighten you more (I was a complicated mess, to say the least; the term "real piece of work" is not inapplicable), but my fear and resistance made the process considerably harder than it had to be.

So I urge you to try to let go of your fear, even though that seems like a big task. Intention is the only way I know of to get that process going, the process of releasing fear. For all we know, your fear-release has already begun, however, because time is an illusion....

You do not sound at all insane, by the way. You don't feel that way, either (yes, I'm exceptionally empathic, though I'm very guarded and I don't just scope out everyone who particpates here, but you're asking for help, so I'm just doing a little perception). You feel confused, exhausted, a lot of things of that sort, but I'm also picking up resistance, like, you want to keep as much control as you can. While that's understandable, please believe me when I say that the harder you hold on, the more difficult it will be, the longer it will take, and, frankly, you won't be able to resist the forces of spiritual awakening (beause that's what this process ultimately is), so you may as well just let go and know that you're not going to drown or be lost (at least, you won't lose anything you need, though it may seem needful at the time) or become irretrivably insane. You are safe, because "you" are as much an illusion as everything else, and the true self of Consciousness is unchangable. This "you" thing is a character, a mask, that Consciousness uses to interact with the illusion. (Right now, that may sound all guruspeak and stuff, but it will make sense in time.) So it's all good, even if it doesn't feel that way right now.

I hope this makes sense to you. I am so familar with what you're going through, and I hope my experience can help you. :heart:

[Atticus858]

Okay, I know this is easier said than done, but you really, REALLY need to work through that fear as soon as possible. Set the intention to resolve that starting yesterday (you can do that; time, like space, is an illusion).

Fear is a very strong energy of belief, and when you fear something... well, let me quote the Bible when I note Job saying, "That which I feared the most has come upon me". This has been my experience of a lifetime. That which we fear gets a lot of attention, and where attention goes, manifestation happens. Fear is a very powerful energy, and it's not one that's easily controllable, either, so it's best to just release it as completely as possible, as soon as possible.

I was very much afraid of going into a psych ward, and guess where I ended up? I didn't know what kundalini was (only learned about it in the past ten years or so, and my big transformation was in full motion a couple of decades ago), but I was very much afraid of whatever was happening to me, even though on some level I understood that it was a healing process. I believe that part of the reason my transformation was more of a spiritual emergency (that, by the way, is now officially listed in the DSM, the "Bible" of psychiatry, though I don't think it was at the time) than a joyful awakening. There were other factors at play with me, as well, so I don't want to frighten you more (I was a complicated mess, to say the least; the term "real piece of work" is not inapplicable), but my fear and resistance made the process considerably harder than it had to be.

So I urge you to try to let go of your fear, even though that seems like a big task. Intention is the only way I know of to get that process going, the process of releasing fear. For all we know, your fear-release has already begun, however, because time is an illusion....

You do not sound at all insane, by the way. You don't feel that way, either (yes, I'm exceptionally empathic, though I'm very guarded and I don't just scope out everyone who particpates here, but you're asking for help, so I'm just doing a little perception). You feel confused, exhausted, a lot of things of that sort, but I'm also picking up resistance, like, you want to keep as much control as you can. While that's understandable, please believe me when I say that the harder you hold on, the more difficult it will be, the longer it will take, and, frankly, you won't be able to resist the forces of spiritual awakening (beause that's what this process ultimately is), so you may as well just let go and know that you're not going to drown or be lost (at least, you won't lose anything you need, though it may seem needful at the time) or become irretrivably insane. You are safe, because "you" are as much an illusion as everything else, and the true self of Consciousness is unchangable. This "you" thing is a character, a mask, that Consciousness uses to interact with the illusion. (Right now, that may sound all guruspeak and stuff, but it will make sense in time.) So it's all good, even if it doesn't feel that way right now.

I hope this makes sense to you. I am so familar with what you're going through, and I hope my experience can help you. :heart:



Everything you said makes COMPLETE sense to me, all of the thoughts i had surrounding that, i have a fear of accepting that, because i wish to live yet this process makes me feel like im dying.. i have too many things to do.. i guess i just have a hard time accepting those things.. im trying too hard to control everything and im prolonging the process and making it worse.. i love everyone and everything and i wish to live.. i should just surrender to the process right? and trust that it's for the best...

[IA56]

Everything you said makes COMPLETE sense to me, all of the thoughts i had surrounding that, i have a fear of accepting that, because i wish to live yet this process makes me feel like im dying.. i have too many things to do.. i guess i just have a hard time accepting those things.. im trying too hard to control everything and im prolonging the process and making it worse.. i love everyone and everything and i wish to live.. i should just surrender to the process right? and trust that it's for the best...

YES!! Totally Atticus858m trust the process....You are still here and alive, do not let the fear get you. We all have made it, so will you too.

Love
ia

[ButterflyWoman]

i should just surrender to the process right?
Yes. You don't even need to "trust", really. Just let it go and see where it takes you. Think of Alice, following the White Rabbit into Wonderland. She didn't trust or distust, she just went with it. Oh, for the record, the rabbit hole is bottomless, but you'll find out for yourself in time... ;) :)

[Atticus858]

I've been thinking about using affirmations an hour or so a day to deal with my fear, does anyone have any recommendations? I usually repeat things like "I am brave, I let go of fear, everything is fine" a few minutes a day but i want to do more.. i spend every moment working on this anxiety and progress is happening.. i notice i get extremely depressed at times and nothing brings me pleasure.. it doesn't last long though, like 30 minutes to an hour..

[dontco]

Hey Atticus, I found these affirmations by Louise Hay:


I am willing to release my fears.
I live and move in a safe and secure world.
I am free myself from all destructive fears and doubts.
I accept myself and create peace in my mind and heart.
I rise above thoughts that attempt to make me angry or afraid.
I release the past with ease and trust the process of life.
I am willing to release the need for this protection.
I am now willing to see only my magnificence.
I have the power to make changes.
I am always divinely protected.

And so it is!

They seem helpful :-) I would also advice you could say them in front of a mirror, out loud, if you can. You could also record them and listen to yourself saying them, when you have time. You can say them in your mind and you can also just read them. I would suggest repeating them throughout the day, but the most effective times would be in the morning after you wake up, after lunch- when you're sleepy, and before bed. Good luck!!!

PS- the affirmations were taken from a Louise Hay article here (http://www.healyourlife.com/louise-hay-on-how-to-overcome-your-fears). The subject of the article is "how to overcome your fears", so you're welcome to read it too, if you would like. Maybe it could help.

[lord.of.the.now]

I do the emotional freedom technique. <-- look it up on the internet. Basically I tap and mentally say I am positive now, I am in the moment now. While tapping my fingers. When I do the affirmation it takes up 0.7 seconds per affirmation <-- from lots and lots of practice.

when I feeling anxious I say... I am positive now,,, I am safe now. When the anxiousness is gone I go back to, I am positive now, I am in the moment now

So it's 60seconds X 60mins x 2 hours in that range..

10,000 affirmations in one day on average

I do the tapping when I am out in public and 10k is the average affirmation harvest per day

That's a hell of allot of affirmation in one day

[lord.of.the.now]

If your going to program your postively stay the hell away from tv. That stuff programs you like bad affirmations but you want to do your positive affirmations, Realise you want to program yourself postively so stay away from television that stuff is undo ing your good work


I've been thinking about using affirmations an hour or so a day to deal with my fear,

If you do that you will get very poor results. That's really not quit enough to get good results

Because you have most likely being exposed to years and years of negative programming from watching negative tv 1 hour of affirmation is not going to cut it

Do you realize the main reason why you are in hospital is because you are negative based

Mental illness is negative based. Fear and anxiousness comes from televison