feel a bit hopeless

[buzzcock]

I had a digestion condition in my teens that made me smaller than the average person. My dad was a bit absent in feeling in childhood and never really showed me anything like diy or mechanics or sport. I'm diagnosed with autism and have always had service industry jobs despite high iq and degree. I have low confidence and don't feel competent in anything. I was raised in a kind of isolated religion ... But every other young man in that religious group learned trades like construction, whereas my dad didn't help me do that. So I was isolated and naive but didn't even get the other esteem boosts the other peers in the group got. My parents were always angry with me as a kid. I have sex problems as the thought of taking my clothes off makes me feel like I am about to be hit, combined with the fear of sex my childhod religion taught me.

I'm just feeling so overcome with obstacles to feeling OK. My joints are too weak and dexterity to bad to be any kind or labour or trade worker, I'm too strange and childish to be an intellectual professor or author type person. No personality for business. I'm feeling a bit surmounted by personal obstacles to self esteem.

[CFTraveler]

Hugs. I have members in my family that have been in similar circumstances. Do you have anyone you can talk to?

[buzzcock]

I don't feel I can talk to any one because my problems are so we obscure and weird. I mean I've felt suicidal for years about looking small, childish, a lot younger than my real age, being treated and assumed as young all the time, which is common for the diet problems I had. All I've heard from counselors for years is, its a compliment, you'll be glad of it one day. My problems seem so weird and unrecognised but very real to me.

I mean, thanks for reading and hugs, it helps me a lot being able to vent here.

[IA56]

Hi buzzcock,

I want to give you a huge hug. Also want to remind you how presious and valuable you are.

Someone wanted your Life, you are here to find out that, do not spoile your chanches by falling into that selfpity darkness.

You have a whole Community here who is rooting for you, so ...keep it up!!

What does your nickname mean....buzzcock??

Love
ia

[buzzcock]

Thanks a lot. My name is just because the band buzzcocks were on the radio when I came here. Coc is like the word buddy or pal where there from and their music sounds buzzy.

[IA56]

Thanks a lot. My name is just because the band buzzcocks were on the radio when I came here. Coc is like the word buddy or pal where there from and their music sounds buzzy.

Ahaa, thank´s for your reply. So you do things without planning so much?? an impulsive person?? What kind o feeling did you get about the song they where performing, when you did take the band´s name to become yours??..or how should I Think about your choice?? In what way can they say to present you??

Love
ia

[buzzcock]

I guess I am a bit impulsive. The band kind of represented simplicity to me, famous for simple punk songs. And the song was a sad one about never getting anything nice in life.

[IA56]

I guess I am a bit impulsive. The band kind of represented simplicity to me, famous for simple punk songs. And the song was a sad one about never getting anything nice in life.

Okay, but as long as you have that kind of "illusion" in a negative way, about not getting anything nice into your Life....Make a total turn around...and start to selebrate yourself....as a nice and wonderful perrson, love yourself and see all the Beauty you are.....and I am sure all will change miraculously.

Facket it till you make it...:-)

And I want also to say...do not Think that others are more happy and with better luck....everyone...EVERYONE have this kind of downers...even the famous and even the Deep developed one´s ...as long as they are here....they wouldn´t be here if they have figured out who they are, right??

So you are in good Company...we are all the same...and sitting in the same boat...so to speak....:-)

Love
ia

[buzzcock]

Thanks a lot.