About suicide

[Frater.Akenu]

The topic of suicide has appeared on the number of occult forums I frequently visit so I decided to write something about the topic from both mundane and occult sense. Suicide can be defined as a voluntary end of one's own existence, before we talk about the implications of such act, let's make a quick overview of common reasons.


Reasons for suicide
Most common reason is depression, the person thinks that no one loves him/her, no one cares for him/her, this is actually quite common for teenagers. The social background doesn't matter in this case, whether parents are abusive or careless or whether family is rich or poor, this case can still appear.


Another reason (often mixed with the first one) is that people believe they are worthless, that they have no value in the society, no reason for living, this is also a form of depression.


Another common reason is pain, a horrible, persistent, unbearable pain. Pain that cannot be stopped and often immobilizes the person, making him/her believe to be a burden for family which has to care about this person.


Yet another reason was cultural, suicide to make a statement, usually by self-burning or cutting one's wrist. Tibetan monks are known to commit the burning suicide. In Europe there was a fashion called Emo, that often commited the suicide by the wrist cutting because "no one understood them", this represented a cult like mentality and fortunately this subculture came out of fashion and was significantly reduced.


The act
The whole act of the suicide is a very painful procedure, usually persisting of initial act of courage which cannot be taken back no matter what. What I am talking about is that one step from the building or the sliced open wrist. Victim of this act often changes the decision to commit the suicide but it's too late for it. Once you are falling down the building, once you are set afire, once your blood started flowing from your veins, there is very little you can do to stop it.


Many people who survived their suicide attempt were happy they didn't die, during the attempt they realised was a big mistake. These cases are actually reported, so some google search might give you more information.


Implication of suicide from mundane sense
We all have problems, that's how it works. But no matter how unloved, unappreciated or worthless you feel, there is always someone who cares for you and by ending your own life, you will make them suffer. Suicide is actually the most mean and selfish act you can commit, it's the most cruel thing you can do to people who care about you, and trust me, there is always someone.


If your condition makes you be dependable on others, whether your family or your partners, your death won't lift the burden, it will actually increase it. These people take care of you because their love you and your end will hurt them in the most horrible way.


Being worthless is a state of mind, not a fact. We all make bad decisions and these decisions form what we are, but past isn't the creator of future. In future you can be what you want, in future you can achieve anything and mean a lot for many people, maybe even for whole nations. The key to success lies in presence. If you stop with the self-pity and stand up, you can achieve anything you want, you just have to do something for it. Remember, the key lies in what you do right now, at this very moment, shape your future.


Suicide from the occult perspective
First of all I want to make a little spoiler for sensitive people, this is where it gets nasty, so you should probably stop reading right about now.


If, from the mundane perspective there is a belief all troubles end, it's the exact opposite in occult/mystical point of view. With a suicide all the horror actually begins, and much bigger than whatever problems you think you had. So, what exactly happens after a successful suicide?


First of all the link between the body, the spirit and the soul will sever due to the damage you did to the body. This cannot be taken back, remember that. Next part is where you get a lot of new "friends". Astral larvae you created via the suicide, also phantoms of spirits, some lower entities and few more stuff. They all will leech you and make you suffer in the most horrible ways for ethernity. Pain you would never believe is possible, depression worst than ever, also a fear and an inability to do something about it.


Some people will find a way to reduce these problems, by attaching those who loved them during their lives and feeding on their depressions and crying, becoming phantoms or ghouls, leeching energy from their lovers, that will be the only thing that will help them to reduce their own suffering. But the cry for someone doesn't last forever and this possibility will also fade in time, leaving just the horrors, forever, with no way out and no one to help you.


What to do if someone can possibly commit a suicide
If you are suspicious about someone having thoughts about suicide, don't just stand back, speak with the person and make them know you care about them, there are also suicide lines everywhere, find one closest to you and discuss this topic with them, describe what your friend does and how he acts and they will know what to do. Do everything you can to stop this from happening, after all, you can save someone's life, both physical and metaphysical.

[susan]

Frater. Akenu,
Thank you for posting this insight, and I think it is about time this information was maybe in the forefront for the occasional person who suggests this as a possibility.
So this question is not a negative but a question I wonder what your thoughts are on.
After reading your post I was driving with the radio on when I heard of the inquest on a CHILD who committed suicide and was found by his younger sister , in their house.
The child was said to have been grossly neglected by the parents and had witnessed much violence between the parents.
I didn't catch how he committed suicide , but it worked.
This was a child.
In my own thoughts this child I would hope would be lifted by caring spirit to the relevant place for him. He/ she had done nothing wrong, just at such a young entry into physical before growing in knowledge and how to be .. An Adult....
Do you have any insight to add to .
With respect Susan

[Frater.Akenu]

This topic is very sensitive, especially regarding children. I do understand that, I myself am a parent. Loss of a young life is even worse when it comes to the realization of what comes afterwards. I don't want to talk about fairy tales to calm someone down, this is not a childhood and there is no puppy heaven. Both parents will suffer the loss of their child even with their behavior and his sister will suffer even more considering that she is now alone in the abusive family and had to witness her dead or even dying sibling, that's possibly a whole-life trauma.

I would also advise to recall your own childhood. You were able to decide and therefore responsible for your own actions from a very young age. Even at 5 you were able to distinguish what is right or wrong, what is a lie and what are consequences of your actions, yes, in simplistic terms, but this ability was already there.

[Frater.Akenu]

On the plus side the family might finally realize what they are doing and change their ways or a state might come in and take away the remaining child from the family so these could be considered as a lightening elements in this case and then such action could be considered as a self-sacrifice instead of a suicide. Then that would be a completely different story.

[susan]

I may be getting out of my depth here so please bear with me.
My understanding here is a possibility that depending on the cosequence of ( physical actions as to how the child's suicide is looked upon and what results after this in physical, ) Then the child spirit may receive a different experience upon death.
In physical in my country we have an age barrier where children are not considered responsible for their own actions , therefore the parents take the wrap" up till that age.
Is a newly born spirit child held responsible for its actions well before physical .
Please understand if you have read any of my posts I am not one to get into any heavy discussion because I am not that well read on topics, just experience. It is rare that I find a subject I really want to follow through and get answers for, but I would respect your thoughts on this.

[Frater.Akenu]

It's completely understandable :). We also do have age limits and a new born baby certainly isn't responsible for its actions. But the intellect slowly grows and the child gets a feeling of conscience and an ability to make decisions. This is usually very soon before the age limit by law so some parents are actually abusing this, learning their children how to pickpocket, at least in my country. This makes them untouchable by law but even at this age the child is able to differentiate between a good and bad decisions.

[CFTraveler]

It's an interesting conundrum. When I was a young child I positively hated life, and the thought of suicide never even entered my mind- but of course no one taught this to me as a possibility. So I think that there are a lot of variables, including the subject's own emotional maturity.

[susan]

I'm going to try to understand this from the Young person.( newly born)
I'm here in an unknown place with slight vision coming. I feel warm and comfort. I'm looked after even though I cannt remember anything before I came here.
As time goes on and as I interact with the people I get to know, the comfort had gone as I am now left to take in what is happening around me. I don't like it and I'm frightened. Where has the warmth gone?
Where is that warmth I felt? My mother is violent, my father is violent, there is so much shouting and hitting . This makes me upset and cry. This is so wrong and I don't want to be here . I want to go back to where I was but I cannt remember the details , I just want to go back.
Please tell me this kind of young soul born into such a journey that many we don't hear about are, please tell me the spirit world have been behind them the whole time and followed them therefore been for them when they found a way out.

[dontco]

Dear Susan, in my humble opinion, I think in the beginning of their life- the soul still has connection to where they were between lives... I'm pretty sure the child was supported- most likely during sleep, and he or she had felt safer and better there, and wanted to "go home" since I understand why he/she felt earth wasn't much of a home to him/her... And the poor child probably heard people around talking about suicide since it's really not typical for a child to consider this seriously.

[susan]

Yes Donto, it isn't typical for a young child to consider this . But a young child did consider this and was successful in killing itself.
So my thoughts are. It was weak . Broken.
Experience of life and time and knowledge builds and we become accountable for our own actions .
But if this young life has not gained the knowledge to be able to work out the consequence of its future actions . ( is not in the know)
Is there a point where we say .... " rough ride over, your back and safe ,or you deserve what follows because you didn't see it through.

[Frater.Akenu]

I have published this article on a number of forums and there was a lot of discussion going on. Recently a very interesting post has appeared which I think might shed some light into the mechanics of suicide:

"I think everyone has met a lower vibration entity, even if they didn't realize it. The larva as you call them would be well established before the person actually commits the act, so I get what you are saying.

From another view, most people would be committing suicide as a form of relief, to end the pain, depression or what ever negative feelings they have. It could be possible that the absolute will and intent of the person to rid themselves of these feelings, to such an extent of taking their own life would be enough to set them free from them (like a ritual)."

This is something I personally haven't considered, but from the occult perspective this totally can hold true and it also explains why some people had a positive NDE experience after commiting an unsuccessful suicide attempt.

[dontco]

Hmm I thought it would be appropriate if I would quote what Seth has to say about suicide (from Seth Speaks) I hope it's ok- it's a different point of view.
"Suicides, as a class, for example, do not have any particular "punishment" meted out to them, nor is their condition any worse a priori. They are treated as individuals. Any problems that were not faced in this life will, however, be faced in another one. This applies not only to suicides, however.A suicide may bring about his own death because he rejects existence on any but highly specific terms chosen by himself. If this is the case, then of course he will have to learn differently. Many others, however, choose to deny experience while within the physical system, committing suicide quite as effectively while still physically alive.
The conditions connected with an act of suicide are also important, and the inner reality and realization of the individual. I mention this here because many philosophies teach that suicides are met by a sort of special, almost vindictive fate, and such is not the case. However, if a person kills himself, believing that the act will annihilate his consciousness forever, then this false idea may severely impede his progress, for it will be further intensified by guilt.
Again, teachers are available to explain the true situation. Various therapies are used. For example, the personality may be led back to the events prior to the decision. Then the personality is allowed to change the decision. An amnesia effect is induced, so that the suicide itself is forgotten. Only later is the individual informed of the act, when he is better able to face it and understand it."

[susan]

Yes Dontco, I have both of Seths books but haven't read them for a while.
I am lead to believe that deceased spirits who are helping on the other side are doing this for our benefit and with love and compassion. I don't believe this is fairy tale wishful thinking.
On the other hand we know that our mind can create our own hell like experiences, depending on the state of mind, and yes many would also add similar energies would be attracted to this. Hell is created.
So maybe the condition of the mind during the suicide will meet with the similar energy that attracts to it but I think myself that the spirit helpers are there for you and it may just be a case of trying to be perceived by this person between all the horrible stuff around upon leaving physical.
From my experience to the after death zone I concluded my father was still not aware because he had no belief in the after life but it seemed he was being cared for by spirit and was safe.
We create our own hell, it's just left to trying to see the help there in amongst all the mess.

[Liberator]

Stop scarying people about Hell that arise after suicide death. It really depends on human karma, which as buddisths states gets lot lower upon such commiting suicide, but it's mostly done because we haven't acomplished goals, which were meant here to happen and spiritual evolvement that some of us weren't able to reach. I've read tons of topic about it as my thoughts goes around and around that matter for almost 10 years now.

Some of us pick before being born too hard paths for their yet not experienced spirits and find it tough to handle all the pain and suffering that is involved with learning. Some of us gets stuck and aren't able to move forward, just keep letting go and focus on trying find the right path, but I however truly can feel myself for those people as my life got a drag on me too.

But above all it's a person decision. I would rather compare it with temporary relief after sometimes very painfull moments in life. You still get a chance of OBE's as I think Robert explained it, chance of fullfilling our dreams before we are truly able to let go and get ready for next reincarnation where we will have to face same difficultiess once again. Reassuming I treat it more like temporary healing and than continuing our road and we'll have to face problem once again. We can't run away, we just make the path longer.

I guess if someone did it holding grudges, having plenty of evil emotions, doing it for revenge or different evil purpose than the "Hell" may appear as an answer to our inner needs, but in different example when we just can't handle it we should find temporary "temple" where our souls may regenerate and prepare for facing problem over again maybe in different body.

I've encountered some reports were psychic familly were accually happy and the decreased were even happier in "afterlife", it really depends on cirrcumstance. Well, pain may be a big factor and it might still take some time till it's over. But nothing is ethernal, there is no such feeling beside "Love". If you relay on Christan religion than I wouldn't stay in heaven a day knowing that some of us are down under...

It's just another attachment to that feeling that righteousness is real and all the evil will suffer. What a stupid idea. It's all a feeling and those who keep on hurting others might just take longer stay in this "Hell" we live in already. Because they can't realise higherselves, whom I would compare to "aliens", who live in peace and balance and love. So evildoers stay away from Enlightment for longer and let it be enough. I don't won't anyone to suffer more than it's sufficent. :)

[Dreamweaver]

Anybody ever sat with and been completely and nonjudgmentally present with someone seriously planning to end their life or who have actually attempted? I have. Suicidal ideation is much more common than society in general is aware of. I think its a good idea to have open discussions but I get concerned - ok sad when folks moralize and project spiritual assumptions on anothers' intractable pain.

[Liberator]

Anybody ever sat with and been completely and nonjudgmentally present with someone seriously planning to end their life or who have actually attempted? I have. Suicidal ideation is much more common than society in general is aware of. I think its a good idea to have open discussions but I get concerned - ok sad when folks moralize and project spiritual assumptions on anothers' intractable pain.

Agreed. Better if we all pray, meditate or just send positive emotions to those ones in need (guess I'll have to focus on self first) rather than waste our mental effort on assumptions. For example, for me it's not really pain, but just a neverending curiosity of what's really out there, something really different. Hell would be nice. Hot and at least not empty :(.

[susan]

Liberator, I'm not sure if your addressing the last post which was mine.
The fact that you mentioned hell makes me think you are.
If that's the case I suggest strongly you re- read the entire thread and come to a conclusion that I am suggesting the spirit world is there for EVERYONE. who commits scuicide.
The reference of hell was only a word using as a reference for the state of mind. How many hundreds of posts on this forum alone talk of realy bad dreams because they had a bad day, people encountering what they see as frightening negs when consciously leaving body because they were frightened.
So my two thoughts once again are 1) I believe the spirit world are there to help us upon passing .2) the state of the mind may hinder contact.
That's all I intend to add on my thoughts on this topic.
However, if you were not referring to my post, then I've made a bit of a prat of my self and shall go and hide in the corner.
Have a good day, and pleasant dreams.

[MooSaysTheCat]

So my two thoughts once again are 1) I believe the spirit world are there to help us upon passing .2) the state of the mind may hinder contact.


Yep I agree. With this.

I don't believe that we are just creating "sunny story's" to make ourselves feel better. Actually I think it's the other way around...like I had said before , suicide by itself is not bad or evil. The intention however can make it a bad thing (just like everything else).

With all respect to the original poster I understand that you are giving something that should be helpful...but personally I did not appreciate this post that filled me with fear of suicide. Something that I would never do in my life either way.

The "bad" things about suicide? We'll if you are on a "mission" or have objectives to finish on Earth, have a lesson to learn here or something. We'll suicide might interrupt that mission, because I see it as a "quit button" , an "eject" or "mission abort". Like what Liberator said it could be a time to rest or take a breather . However it is not a total escape, and you will (probably) need to return to relearn that lesson or whatever. So still by committing suicide you are not making yourself any favors, if anything you are just delaying your own growth.

I think somebody said something about how a person can "sacrifice " himself to change the life of another person that was on his way to a "bad" life (or something). Of course this "sacrifice" can be done by suicide....in this case suicide is used for a "good" thing. It's silly to think that a person would be condemned to an eternity of Hell for a good deed.

This is my personal opinion of course.

[John Sorensen]

In my view suicide has nothing to do with morality. It does imply a dis-connect from out greater self, as we chose to be here, and forcing ourselves out by suicide is a sort of "giving up", and often people who do commit suicide believe that they will cease to exist, if they knew with every fibre of their being that it is not possible for them "not to exist", then it would be very unlikely for them to commit suicide in the first place. To me it is a gross misunderstanding on the material reality we create and chose to be a part of.

I am grateful every day that I came back from that place, and now know the error of my thoughts and feelings at that time.

[IA56]

Agreed. Better if we all pray, meditate or just send positive emotions to those ones in need (guess I'll have to focus on self first) rather than waste our mental effort on assumptions. For example, for me it's not really pain, but just a neverending curiosity of what's really out there, something really different. Hell would be nice. Hot and at least not empty :(.

Hi Liberator,
I want to tell you my experience what I call the divider-line....between duality and infinity (Oneness). I have also Before this expereince did feel as you seam to feel, about hell being fun and crowdy and Heaven empty and dull....I got to experience that there is ALL and EVERYTHING...but you can not enter if you still have negative feelings and can´t chare all with everyone...and I got to feel that I was not there yet, so I do understand that I have much work still to do, but atleast I now know what to work with so to speak....so I just send to you your willingness to get this experience too, so after that you have the understanding for the difficulties you face is for your own good, as a teaching device...and if facing this in right way, and willingness to learn from it, it will turn to Peace and happiness and joy and LOVE...real LOVE.
Through this experience you get to learn why and what FORGIVNESS is for, it is the KEY for the liberation of you.

Love
ia

[Liberator]

Well, thank you all, but it's still not a relfief,

I got my own problems by forces I would not stance a chance. Their so overhelming that only quoting Phill Dick's, who said that to fight with beast we have to become beast itself it seems to have any understanding. I'm really trapped and no other power byside myself can't help me out of this pithole. It just seems more and more with everyday than good dosage of ultimate heroine just like Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison or Ryszard Rydiel would recommed is righter to bring puropse in my life than anything beoynd.

Even I can't imagine ruining someone's life just to satisfy my own would be any clue. It seems like I'm about to pass and I'm more happy than ever before. My place was never found on this planet. I need to move. I just can't fit in. ;]

[Frater.Akenu]

@Liberator: Nah, you will never fit in with this attitude, you must keep a stance of the winner, not lose every fight before it even began.

If I recognize your profile picture correctly, it's Snake Pliskin from Escape from L.A. That dude knew how to make things his way.

[Liberator]

If I recognize your profile picture correctly, it's Snake Pliskin from Escape from L.A. That dude knew how to make things his way.

Call it escape from Earth will ya. *sighs*

[Frater.Akenu]

You know, if you have thoughts you should call a suicide line, sooner the better. Or you can get ahold of your life and actually do something and mean something, it's not that hard, it's just that no one else can do this for you, it must be your decision and your action.

You speak about how you do not fit on this planet, about that your life doesn't seem to have any meaning. If I remember well, anyone can e.g. register to the Red Cross and go help around the world to people who are really suffering.

[Liberator]

Thanks Pa,

I'm currently unsuffienct to help anyone but myself at the moment. Well, I'm not a type to drag any more crosses that I've already did, I'm not gonna call any lines either. I'm quite stable in my state, fully ready for opportinity to arise. And I do understand what you meant above, it's just my call and my destiny. Hopefully I shall pick right.

[IA56]

Well, thank you all, but it's still not a relfief,

I got my own problems by forces I would not stance a chance. Their so overhelming that only quoting Phill Dick's, who said that to fight with beast we have to become beast itself it seems to have any understanding. I'm really trapped and no other power byside myself can't help me out of this pithole. It just seems more and more with everyday than good dosage of ultimate heroine just like Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison or Ryszard Rydiel would recommed is righter to bring puropse in my life than anything beoynd.

Even I can't imagine ruining someone's life just to satisfy my own would be any clue. It seems like I'm about to pass and I'm more happy than ever before. My place was never found on this planet. I need to move. I just can't fit in. ;]

Hi Liberator,
What is your first name, and location?? If you do not want to say it open here, send me a PM. I want to send hope to you, if you choose to want it?

Love
ia

[Liberator]

Hi Liberator,
What is your first name, and location?? If you do not want to say it open here, send me a PM. I want to send hope to you, if you choose to want it?

Love
ia

Hey IA,

Thank you for your concern, but I doubt you may help me out, I need mostly masterialistic measures to fix my problems up.

Hope won't do. I already placed too much hope in few things :/ and I keep on ruining anything I've built with my weakness.

[IA56]

Hey IA,

Thank you for your concern, but I doubt you may help me out, I need mostly masterialistic measures to fix my problems up.

Hope won't do. I already placed too much hope in few things :/ and I keep on ruining anything I've built with my weakness.

Dear Liberator,
If you are that closed up, then I understand that nothing can pierce through to you, but it is your own will to choose to refuse all kind of help what so ever, when you already have decided that nothing can help you. Pitty.

Love
ia

[Liberator]

Dear Liberator,
If you are that closed up, then I understand that nothing can pierce through to you, but it is your own will to choose to refuse all kind of help what so ever, when you already have decided that nothing can help you. Pitty.

Love
ia

Well, I'm not that closed up. I've been working on my matter with already few people to fix it up (psychologist, psychiastrist, familly, friends, buddisths masters, wild people, saints [God's avatar's on Earth], demons, even with some good people on this forum - big thanks to Layla). My name is Michal and I'm from Poland. Problem is explained in that thread

http://www.astraldynamics.com.au/showthread.php?16770-Selfdestruction-process-Ineed-of-reversal

And I'm still struggling to move on any matter. Seems like that big bad woman gonna carry me to my grave.

Addon: If your gonna send your energies anywhere than the right place to focus would be Magdalena from Poznań, I've already feel like i've hurt her too much with myself trying too hard making her my gf :|

[IA56]

Well, I'm not that closed up. I've been working on my matter with already few people to fix it up (psychologist, psychiastrist, familly, friends, buddisths masters, wild people, saints [God's avatar's on Earth], demons, even with some good people on this forum - big thanks to Layla). My name is Michal and I'm from Poland. Problem is explained in that thread

http://www.astraldynamics.com.au/showthread.php?16770-Selfdestruction-process-Ineed-of-reversal

And I'm still struggling to move on any matter. Seems like that big bad woman gonna carry me to my grave.

Addon: If your gonna send your energies anywhere than the right place to focus would be Magdalena from Poznań, I've already feel like i've hurt her too much with myself trying too hard making her my gf :|

Dear Michal,
If your matter is to accept someones wish not to become your gf, and you can not accept, then you have issues of to controll others, and that will never fall in good soile. I will not read any thread about your "issues" because I do not work that way...I will see what comes up when I will look at you and your gf and see if I can come near your sfear so to speak, do you want me to write open here or send you a PM??

Love
ia

[Begeegs1]

I have been debating whether or not to reply to this, but in the end, I have decided to.

I have read your plight and have been there, but in the end, I considered that suicide would be a really negative impact on a lot of people who you may have influenced in life. Even if you feel that you haven't impacted many people, you need to have a rethink about that because I would be willing to bet that you have. It sounds like you are also a spiritual person, so you would also know that most people are not well versed in the ways of trying to obtain enlightenment, so they may not have that strength to actually try for these means to realize the self. So they may resort to things that will impact their way of viewing the world in a negative fashion because of it. This made me take a step back because I couldn't bear to do that to someone else and as a result of that, I did find the love of my life. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't straight-away, but I healed and moved beyond this and as a result, I can continue to try to conquer the negative elements of my own psyche on the way to self-realization.

But you have to be strong and realize that these lessons in life are there for a reason and they are there for us to rise above them in pursuit of the golden flower/higher self/etc.

Anyway - I wish you well and hope that you do make the decision for life.

[Liberator]

Well,

IA, you have a full pm storage so I can't write back. So to speak i lost faith in LOVE, all my work haven't been getting me anywhere, it's like stepping backwards all the time.

Thank you all :), clock is set up on 4:00, train gonna roll! Wish me luck on the other side :).

[IA56]

Well,

IA, you have a full pm storage so I can't write back. So to speak i lost faith in LOVE, all my work haven't been getting me anywhere, it's like stepping backwards all the time.

Thank you all :), clock is set up on 4:00, train gonna roll! Wish me luck on the other side :).

Hi Michal,
Sorry for that my inbox was full, I have cleared it out now, so you can PM me again.

Love
ia

[arundios]

there is always someone.


I don't know how much you have seen of the world to make such a sweeping generalization. There are also people for whom no one REALLY cares at all. The only thing I have been hearing from my mother even since I can remember is that she would be happy to get rid of me. Never for once she made me feel that I was needed, respected or appreciated. My father always remain dumb and hardly ever speaks a word against my mother because he is so afraid of her; I never saw him rise up against her even if only to defend me ONCE, just once in my life.

From teachers to friends I never got any love or appreciation from anyone. Everyone just looked down on me with disdain and contempt, bullied me whenever they could. It is not like I am a leper or anything (even lepers should not be hated, but we know how shallow the world is); back then I thought maybe I am supposed to be hated or maybe I am weak so I deserve what I get. Maybe I am the worst person on earth or born with the worst luck ever. Only one girl really loved me and cared for me. She was my ex-. Now she belongs to someone else, and I really feel everything for me is back to square one. I sure have not got magic eyes but anyways as far as I can see I don't find anyone who cares for me at all, no one else who I can call mine. My friends, well they won't give a damn if I live or die, I know that much. The most common cookie cutter answer I get from people is to visit a shrink; well I did and she told me to forget it all and start life afresh, as if it were that easy. She refused to recognize the fact that I was depressed, nor gave me any meds which might have helped.

I am just living in a big eternal void, that's all, where life does not matter to me anymore. Sometimes if you are in real great pain and there is no one to even lend you a shoulder you just want to finish the wretched life asap. I don't have any occult knowledge though, just saying that please don't paint everyone and every situation with the same brush. It is easy to philosophize and run judgments on others from the comfort of your home when you are living in great comfort and happiness yourself. You would never know how it feels like to be in the kind of mental trauma which makes a person commit suicide, unless you are face to face with such a situation yourself some day

[Frater.Akenu]

I don't know how much you have seen of the world to make such a sweeping generalization. There are also people for whom no one REALLY cares at all. The only thing I have been hearing from my mother even since I can remember is that she would be happy to get rid of me. Never for once she made me feel that I was needed, respected or appreciated. My father always remain dumb and hardly ever speaks a word against my mother because he is so afraid of her; I never saw him rise up against her even if only to defend me ONCE, just once in my life.

From teachers to friends I never got any love or appreciation from anyone. Everyone just looked down on me with disdain and contempt, bullied me whenever they could. It is not like I am a leper or anything (even lepers should not be hated, but we know how shallow the world is); back then I thought maybe I am supposed to be hated or maybe I am weak so I deserve what I get. Maybe I am the worst person on earth or born with the worst luck ever. Only one girl really loved me and cared for me. She was my ex-. Now she belongs to someone else, and I really feel everything for me is back to square one. I sure have not got magic eyes but anyways as far as I can see I don't find anyone who cares for me at all, no one else who I can call mine. My friends, well they won't give a damn if I live or die, I know that much. The most common cookie cutter answer I get from people is to visit a shrink; well I did and she told me to forget it all and start life afresh, as if it were that easy. She refused to recognize the fact that I was depressed, nor gave me any meds which might have helped.

I am just living in a big eternal void, that's all, where life does not matter to me anymore. Sometimes if you are in real great pain and there is no one to even lend you a shoulder you just want to finish the wretched life asap. I don't have any occult knowledge though, just saying that please don't paint everyone and every situation with the same brush. It is easy to philosophize and run judgments on others from the comfort of your home when you are living in great comfort and happiness yourself. You would never know how it feels like to be in the kind of mental trauma which makes a person commit suicide, unless you are face to face with such a situation yourself some day

Hi Arundios, I do understand your pain and your concerns, it really looks like you are the most hated person in the world. It seems so, that is. Trust me if anything happened to you, your parents really would be crushed, no matter how tough they are towards you. Plus after hearing your story I truly do care about you and I am pretty sure that more people will arrive here shortly that will also care about you, your life and well-being. It takes just this much to gain new friends and people who care for you.

So, my question is, do you still feel alone?

[IA56]

Hi Arundios,
I do also care about you and your well-being. I hope you can feel the LOVE I send your way.

Love
ia

[arundios]

Hi Arundios, I do understand your pain and your concerns, it really looks like you are the most hated person in the world. It seems so, that is. Trust me if anything happened to you, your parents really would be crushed, no matter how tough they are towards you. Plus after hearing your story I truly do care about you and I am pretty sure that more people will arrive here shortly that will also care about you, your life and well-being. It takes just this much to gain new friends and people who care for you.

So, my question is, do you still feel alone?

In real world, I am. In virtual life, I have plenty of friends here and there, and it is not like I consider my virtual friends some lifeless robots but in the colder real world I was and am still pretty much alone and IMO virtual buddies can never bring the warmth of real world friendships no matter what. Let us just say if my virtual friends were not there I would have really killed myself by now, yet they are not enough. I wish one could get a hug or a kiss online. Thanks though and sorry about the outburst. People called Robin Williams selfish but he alone knew what he was going through at that period of life which made him do the act; that is my whole point really. No offense, but you really don't know what say, I or another depressed person is going through which make them idealize suicide as an option (unless you have been there and done that, but even then every person has his or her own unique way of looking at and handling things; I read online that if you want to be happy after a breakup you break off all emotional ties with your ex-, but I am unable to do that), nor do I know your state of mind; it is just not possible no matter how big of an empath you are; so am not sure if it is okay to judge an entire group from your perspective alone.

[Frater.Akenu]

In real world, I am. In virtual life, I have plenty of friends here and there, and it is not like I consider my virtual friends some lifeless robots but in the colder real world I was and am still pretty much alone and IMO virtual buddies can never bring the warmth of real world friendships no matter what. Let us just say if my virtual friends were not there I would have really killed myself by now, yet they are not enough. I wish one could get a hug or a kiss online. Thanks though and sorry about the outburst. People called Robin Williams selfish but he alone knew what he was going through at that period of life which made him do the act; that is my whole point really. No offense, but you really don't know what say, I or another depressed person is going through which make them idealize suicide as an option (unless you have been there and done that, but even then every person has his or her own unique way of looking at and handling things; I read online that if you want to be happy after a breakup you break off all emotional ties with your ex-, but I am unable to do that), nor do I know your state of mind; it is just not possible no matter how big of an empath you are; so am not sure if it is okay to judge an entire group from your perspective alone.

I was pretty much alone till 18. Then I found a pretty girlfriend that cared about me, after a year she found someone else and broke up with me. I am 27 now and sometimes I still think about her, even while I am after few other relationships already and I got a wife and 2 kids. The first someone is always special.

You said it correctly that no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I know, no matter how big empath I am and no matter what I have experienced, I cannot fully understand other people. Everyone is a completely unique individual with their own individual opinions and problems, and problems is the thing I want to highlight, everyone got them. Problems choose people despite their fame, friendships, wealth or good looks. Even the biggest playboy in school got some serious issues he has to work on. Regarding our problems we can either resign and become victims or we can keep fighting, getting rid of our issues one by one and become the solution. Robin Williams resigned and caused a grief of millions of people all around the world, but I have to admit that death didn't take away his sense of humor, his post-mortem message "I am dead, you know?" became a sensation in the occult circles. What is important is that your condition isn't terminal, you can fight it and you can win, it all starts in your mind.

[arundios]

I was pretty much alone till 18. Then I found a pretty girlfriend that cared about me, after a year she found someone else and broke up with me. I am 27 now and sometimes I still think about her, even while I am after few other relationships already and I got a wife and 2 kids. The first someone is always special.

You said it correctly that no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I know, no matter how big empath I am and no matter what I have experienced, I cannot fully understand other people. Everyone is a completely unique individual with their own individual opinions and problems, and problems is the thing I want to highlight, everyone got them. Problems choose people despite their fame, friendships, wealth or good looks. Even the biggest playboy in school got some serious issues he has to work on. Regarding our problems we can either resign and become victims or we can keep fighting, getting rid of our issues one by one and become the solution. Robin Williams resigned and caused a grief of millions of people all around the world, but I have to admit that death didn't take away his sense of humor, his post-mortem message "I am dead, you know?" became a sensation in the occult circles. What is important is that your condition isn't terminal, you can fight it and you can win, it all starts in your mind.

Fighting is alright, the real question is: how long you can do it before you give up, as it can get very tiring when you think that you may have to fight all alone your entire life with no outside help. Like now I see only loneliness in my future, the way I had spent my life before her arrival; I see that I am forced to live my whole life single with no love from anyone. I was not as lucky as you to get a gf at such a young age in my life - maybe if this thing had happened then I won't have gotten as emotional as this (they say that young people are usually shallow, I don't remember if I have been shallow at 18 ), and it sucked to see my college buddies getting hitched one by one and their asking me about if I had gotten one for myself. Hell, most of the friends in my locality are married off with kids as well. Yes marriage is not rosy but at least there is someone you know who is waiting for you when you get back home, someone who does care about you even if only a little bit. I was too choosy about women at that time so I couldn't settle for just about anyone; I was also quite an introvert and got cold feet at the prospect of even talking to women. Then she came when I was about 29 or so and I thanked my luck when she reciprocated my feelings so positively as no one ever did. We made long term plans, family plans, job plans, money plans. When she ditched me I felt as if a part of my body has been lost permanently, and I am still unable to get over that feeling. I was depressed before she came in my life and I am depressed again now that she's left me

http://www.astraldynamics.com.au/showthread.php?17936-Help-me-get-the-love-of-my-life-back


(http://www.astraldynamics.com.au/showthread.php?17936-Help-me-get-the-love-of-my-life-back)
Among those millions of people who claim they are grief-stricken by his death, did any one person ever bother to ask him if he is alright when he was suffering? I have my doubts. Even his wife abandoned him http://www.celebdirtylaundry.com/2014/robin-williams-wife-susan-schneider-suicidal-hanging-depression-victim-of-self-imposed-isolation-photos/. What do we do? We just pick the morning newspaper, see this article about his death, and exclaim over our morning coffee that 'oh, sucks that this fella is dead! He was such a good comedian. I am so sorry. Hollywood lost such a fine actor!' blah blah, forget it all soon after and get on with our lives.

[Frater.Akenu]

Fighting is alright, the real question is: how long you can do it before you give up, as it can get very tiring when you think that you may have to fight all alone your entire life with no outside help. Like now I see only loneliness in my future, the way I had spent my life before her arrival; I see that I am forced to live my whole life single with no love from anyone. I was not as lucky as you to get a gf at such a young age in my life - maybe if this thing had happened then I won't have gotten as emotional as this (they say that young people are usually shallow, I don't remember if I have been shallow at 18 ), and it sucked to see my college buddies getting hitched one by one and their asking me about if I had gotten one for myself. Hell, most of the friends in my locality are married off with kids as well. Yes marriage is not rosy but at least there is someone you know who is waiting for you when you get back home, someone who does care about you even if only a little bit. I was too choosy about women at that time so I couldn't settle for just about anyone; I was also quite an introvert and got cold feet at the prospect of even talking to women. Then she came when I was about 29 or so and I thanked my luck when she reciprocated my feelings so positively as no one ever did. We made long term plans, family plans, job plans, money plans. When she ditched me I felt as if a part of my body has been lost permanently, and I am still unable to get over that feeling. I was depressed before she came in my life and I am depressed again now that she's left me

http://www.astraldynamics.com.au/showthread.php?17936-Help-me-get-the-love-of-my-life-back


(http://www.astraldynamics.com.au/showthread.php?17936-Help-me-get-the-love-of-my-life-back)
Among those millions of people who claim they are grief-stricken by his death, did any one person ever bother to ask him if he is alright when he was suffering? I have my doubts. What do we do? We just pick the morning newspaper, see this article about his death, and exclaim over our morning coffee that 'oh, sucks that this fella is dead! He was such a good comedian. I am so sorry' blah blah, forget it all soon after and get on with our lives.

How long can we fight before we give up? The question rather is, should we give up at all? And give up what, so to speak? I myself wasn't really ever a popular kid and the only reason I got a girlfriend when I was 18 was that I stopped victimizing myself and why people don't love me, I simply chose a path and become something I wanted out of myself. I chose my path and developed a character. Originally people didn't like me because I was weak, I wanted friends and family so much that I agreed with everything everyone said. After that I made a clear stances, now people hate me because I disagree with them and I can argue about it. It is said that a person with no enemies has no personality. It is also said that the greatness of the person can be measured by the greatness of his/her enemies.

You also say you weren't shallow at 18, isn't the reason that you were not a popular kid, therefore you had a time for some philosophical thoughts regarding the society and life in general? I am asking this because I also remember many of my thoughts from the unhappy years. If I take it this way, then the past sucked, but now it is only a memory. Well, actually it's a little bit more than a memory, the past made me what I am now and if I didn't experience the hardships, I wouldn't be who I am now. The pain helps us to cherish the life, sadness helps us to enjoy the bliss, and the bliss will come, the bliss always comes, sooner or later. Yes, hardships can often be very disturbing and seemingly eternal, but remember that you are not alone in them, even while the internet doesn't allow hugs or kisses, it still helps to communicate and connect with people all around the world, and sometimes a kind word will grant you a courage needed to stand even in the wildest storm.

[arundios]

How long can we fight before we give up? The question rather is, should we give up at all? And give up what, so to speak? I myself wasn't really ever a popular kid and the only reason I got a girlfriend when I was 18 was that I stopped victimizing myself and why people don't love me, I simply chose a path and become something I wanted out of myself. I chose my path and developed a character. Originally people didn't like me because I was weak, I wanted friends and family so much that I agreed with everything everyone said. After that I made a clear stances, now people hate me because I disagree with them and I can argue about it. It is said that a person with no enemies has no personality. It is also said that the greatness of the person can be measured by the greatness of his/her enemies.

You also say you weren't shallow at 18, isn't the reason that you were not a popular kid, therefore you had a time for some philosophical thoughts regarding the society and life in general? I am asking this because I also remember many of my thoughts from the unhappy years. If I take it this way, then the past sucked, but now it is only a memory. Well, actually it's a little bit more than a memory, the past made me what I am now and if I didn't experience the hardships, I wouldn't be who I am now. The pain helps us to cherish the life, sadness helps us to enjoy the bliss, and the bliss will come, the bliss always comes, sooner or later. Yes, hardships can often be very disturbing and seemingly eternal, but remember that you are not alone in them, even while the internet doesn't allow hugs or kisses, it still helps to communicate and connect with people all around the world, and sometimes a kind word will grant you a courage needed to stand even in the wildest storm.

Give up life that is. If life is a perennial struggle with no hope of happiness/love in future then who would want to live such a life? All humans have a breaking point. She was the only source of my happiness. People struggle in the hope of a better future; I see no future at all without her

[IA56]

Give up life that is. If life is a perennial struggle with no hope of happiness/love in future then who would want to live such a life? All humans have a breaking point. She was the only source of my happiness. People struggle in the hope of a better future; I see no future at all without her

Dear Arundios,
Life is larger than that. There is no such a thing as a breaking Point, Life is eternal if you choose LIFE. Then you also live the Days you have gotten to be here, and do your best as you can. You have to find both hope and faith. It is doable even it does not feel that way now, but hung in there and you´ll see.
I will support you as best as I can, you are not ever alone.

Love
ia

[Osiris]

Sorry to say man but your going to have a future weather you want one or not, and you will probably get your heart broken again, and yeah life sucks sometimes. I've been all over the other side bro and I can tell you that you will just pick up right where you left off over there, albeit a little worse off. But no huge biggie, here you have a much greater chance of moving on then you do over there, the spook mind being what it is and all.
And I dont want to hear that you cant find love there are TONS of woman better than the one you had that can love you much more completely and with greater maturity than the one you had before, the problem isnt LIFE the problem is YOU didnt follow what was going on in this chicks head, you where to busy rolling around in YOUR own feelings and didnt correctly Read her. It takes TWO in a relationship and you cant blame it all on her Bro... It also take Two to create and find a NEW loving relationship...she may have bailed on the last one, but have you Truely made an effort to find a new one? or are you looking for the same girl in another body? You have to give someone new a chance for you to love them in another way and them you. Your never gonna Duplicate the past relationship feelings ect... And your mistaken if you think its the best Love will ever be for you....But it may be the best if you Block yourself off from Better or even new.
Your kinda like a miner who finds a Huge chunk of gold while digging....then looses the damn thing. Instead of going back and looking for more figuring theres more where that came from your ready to leave the mine and walk away. There are Plenty young women out there waving there arms around trying to get your attention but your fixated on yesterday. I can guarantee you one thing wait around too long and the guys will snatch um right up...

[Saturn]

Arundios, we've all been there and understand you man. If you want our help, and it seems like you might (it also kind of seems like you want to keep your loneliness). Let's assume you want things to be better though...

You should start off from the beginning. Go find an activity you like where there are people like working out at the gym or, a sport, or church, or maybe even an online video game. The point is to do something that has other people that have a common interest, because this is going to make it easier for you to make friends. And don't just talk to the good looking people. Talk to men and to women you wouldn't normally be attracted to.

YOU PUT FORTH THE EFFORT and invite them to things and help them when they need it. You be their friend, not the other way around. You can't control other people but you can control yourself, and if you want something you have to be willing to dish it out. Set aside your misery when you're with your friends, unless you really need their help then don't be ashamed to ask. Instead explore their world with them. Take an interest in them and the people in their lives.

It doesn't matter if this is hard, because everything worthwhile takes effort.

[ButterflyWoman]

If life is a perennial struggle with no hope of happiness/love in future then who would want to live such a life?
Well, this is a classic logical statement. If/then. IF life is a struggle with no hope THEN why keep doing it. Well, sure. But the key here is that life doesn't have to be that. I have absolutely, completely, totally, and unquestionably been in EXACTLY the mindset that says that life is nothing but a perpetual struggle with no hope of happiness. I'm not kidding in the least. I have been suicidal many times. Have attempted suicide. Have been in the psych ward on an involuntary basis, even.

That is all behind me, I'm happy to say. It CAN turn around. It CAN be better.

I wouldn't bother too much with "hope", though. It's just a weird kind of fear. If you know something will be better, you don't have to hope for it. Hope is saying "Okay, I'm pretty sure it'll be crap, but maybe it won't?" ;) Hope is not a useful emotion.

I'll also tell you this: Happiness is fleeting and temporary. Joy comes from inside, and it is not dependent on the outside situation. Sounds impossible in the state of mind you're in (I know because I've been there!), but it's exactly the case.

Transformation is possible. You have to go a step at a time, and it's usually two steps forward and one step back, and you may never get to where you're bursting with joy all the time (some people seem to be able to achieve that; I have not, though I'm content most of the time, and I appreciate that because it's a huge step up from suicidal ideation!). But it is possible. The thing you need to realise is that when you change your mind, you change your world, and just because the way you are currently experiencing the world is grim and bleak, it's not necessarily the case. (Without my glasses, the world I experience is very, very blurry, but I'm pretty sure that my reality is not actually fuzzy.... ;))

[DarkChylde]

I haven't read this thread in entirety and nor what the finer points of it entail (too long , too many points of opinion)

I'm going to reserve my comments only the to the pertinent gist of it.

*Firstly suicide is extremely totally and very selfish : you might be done with your life , but you leave total and utter disaster in the wake of your act ; you leave your parents/siblings/friends/family in absolute devastation and interminable grief.People who reared you , fed you , schooled you , took care of you when you were sick, saw you make it through your blues and lows ; like it or not the logical fact that stands is that they will be affected most.When I say "most affected" I mean psychologically scarred for the rest of their lives with bereavement and the incessant pain of it.I'm not sure I'd want to put anyone* through that let alone people whom I shared my life with.
If being selfish is your thing (if you just don't care in the least how you affect others or live in some kind of an isolated bubble of only of your own) , go ahead and have it .

*Secondly , reasoning like "My Girlfriend left me and sole reason for existence has been snatched" sounds both puerile and sophomoric to me , that's a phase we all go through.There is no one singular person who comes with a guarantee they will make you whole and your life is going to be permanently smooth-sailing thereafter.Love happens again and again.People fall in love , and they fall out of it , just as easily.
People with decades of togetherness , shared housing , kids and finances , do separate , it's often a long, ugly , painful ordeal - they just don't go off themselves because the love of their life isn't there anymore.
Personally I value my heath , welfare and well being far above love and partnership.You have one life but you have many many attempts at finding the right partner and being in love.

*Thirdly , Backbone counts a lot , I have had genuinely bad times in my life where I temporarily lost productive day-to-day functionality , but tell let me tell you , each and every single time I got up , shook off the dust , wiped the grit clean and said "I'm going to survive this , I will suck it up and be a man" and every time I got through fine.This isn't me boasting off about self-strength or fortitude , it simply goes to show that we all have inherent resilience , courage and the mettle to live and to survive and out do the odds , the point here is that to practice those qualities over giving up and calling it the quits is a choice we make out of our own free volition.

In hindsight I read something to the effect of "Suicide attempts can lead to good NDE experiences"
We are a moderated forum , while meaningful discussion is welcome, we do get a lot of young people in their formative years reading in.Commentators are advised to keep conversation pertinent to scholastic or theoretical intent and refrain from suggestive input .AD is exempt from any ideation and or act/action derived by the reader herein.

[buzzcock]

She was the only source of my happiness.

Look inside for peace and happiness. Go for a walk in nature and listen to some birdsong.

[arundios]

Thanks everyone for your inputs. I wish I could 'like' a few posts here but I don't see a link; of course each and every drop in the bucket helps :)

[arundios]

it also kind of seems like you want to keep your loneliness

I don't. It is just that loneliness never seems to leave me alone. :(