GRATITUDE LIST

[buttercup]

-my white chocolate apricot bread i'm having as a snack
-that M wants to transfer $400 to my account so i can pay off my bill! she wants to get it paid off is why
-sleep
-going for a bike ride today. ending up being stressful because i had anxiety,but i think i need to just get the hang of it
-weather being a little warmer today
-M giving me a pair or new gym shoes in green so now i can trade off from the pink ones i have to mix it up on different days. i guess she bought several pairs for herself and then those ones didn't fit and asked if they fit me and when they did asked if i wanted them otherwise she'd return them.
-that job i had for primary career got rescheduled to end of month instead of this weekend since i prefer that
-my snack of potato chips and pepsi that i had been having a craving for
-sitting on the porch today for about twenty minutes and how nice that felt
-manifesting a free aerial class.i had been wanting to take one for awhile but not gotten around to it,plus they're pricy and had been thinking about it more again the last few weeks about how i'd like to take one soon and then randomly today found in my email an offer from the place i wanted to go for it that I can purchase a class this week for free. super cool!
-music
-signs of of people from the past i think are cool still doing things and how affirming that is,and all the little signs of reconnection i've been seeing
-fashion
-the hair dryer and how much i now enjoy blowdrying my hair
-the nightlight in my room because ive now been sleeping with light off and that feels so much more relaxing
-adapting well to things,though there's still some kinks not quite worked out yet that i know will be soon
-getting a call from another new company to interview for work offers
-all the work offers pouring in my emails lately
-meditating today
-water
-cats
-deep cleansing breaths

[buttercup]

-M getting her husband to take me to put me $600 in my account,500 for my bill to get it paid off and the rest to keep on my card
-eye massage
-cutting back on cheese
-becoming more financially abundant
-my sense of style
-laughing at life and funny life moments
-managing to fit in
-great ideas
-the hair dryer
-going with to run an errand
-deep cleansing breaths
-heart chakra musics i'm listening to right now
-meditating this morning
-meeting P,a girl who was a friend of ex best friend and how nice she seemed to me. It's weird all that's gone on lately,how nice people have been and meeting and reconnecting with all these people from his life
-innocence
-the nightlight in my room
-my hip bones seeming to show more today which looked nice
-my motivation
-protein drink M made me
-getting a little more organized and brought in room
-getting phone interview for more work done

[buttercup]

-protein drink M made me
-getting acupuncture today and getting placements in my stomach,ear,and third eye chakra which were all new for me
-the acupuncturist being so nice and saying right away i'm a cute girl when i walked in and telling me later i'm a beautiful girl when telling me i shouldn't have to deal with anxiety since i have so much going for me still
-feeling like i'm getting a lot of attention when i'm out and about for my looks and so i should be much more attractive then i think
-M's friend D calling me ms flexible even though i have no idea what he is talking about since i don't think i'm very flexible
-nice pictures i took with my phone today
-a beautiful flower abstract painting in the lobby of acupuncture clinic an nice art there in general and very friendly staff and very friendly lady who started conversation with me when i got there
-deep cleansing breaths
-my phone
-getting space cleared to put uber back on my phone again
-feeling like things will be ok
-lattes
-feeling relaxed and in a good mood
-deciding to start putting money aside to save up for passport book
-the great idea M's husband had about the big calender outside my room
-getting more of my stuff organized and settled
-style
-getting booked for another job today and this one i didn't even apply for but decided to accept it anyways since it's not until next month
-sleep
-the cats that come to the yard and how friendly the white and gray one is
-the air filter in my room and nightlight and how much they help me sleep

[buttercup]

-doing my job at the studio today and how great it went. afterwards,i felt the feeling of happiness for the first time in awhile.
-my eos lipbalm and the cute container it comes in
-the warm sunny weather today
-getting a lot of positive attention lately
-the attractive business guy who kept eyeing me today at work
-my beauty
-the deep dish pizza slice after work i had. so good.
-ordering some cute activewear socks last night
-deciding to start saving up for something i've been wanting for a bit and also seeing it's less money then i thought,too
-all the work offers coming in
-how quick my eye cleared up today when i got out of the shower and noticed one of my eye's was very very red. perhaps it was the acupuncture doing something healing since afterwards it seemed my eye looked even whiter then before.
-how helpful people are
-all the abundance lately
-sleeping better lately
-finding all sorts of cool chocolate products on a site that i want to try
-yoga
-seeing my monthly bill balance i have for an account has been cut practically in half now!
-my phone

[buttercup]

-getting some things off my chest today
-feeling very spoiled
-sleep
-drinking more water today
-the yoga pants i wore today
-getting some cleaning done
-having a dream ex best friend still wanted to keep in touch with me and seemed to miss me. in the dream,i told him no,i can't after what he's done,but the dream made me wonder if i was picking up on something he actually does want and i have wondered if he wishes i kept in touch or is surprised i haven't tried contacting even once
-having protein made for me
-feeling so pleased with myself for new job at the yoga studio and how right it feels
-cats
-being told by M's husband that someone who seen me thought i was an age younger then i actually am
-feeling much better since acupuncture and like it healed some things
-project one of career 2's second thing we started actually being just about done now. That will be nice to see that despite all the setbacks in life lately,and my life having gone to shambles that life is going on,and things are working out
-prayer
-nightskies
-contentment
-the nightlight and airfilter in my room
-deep cleansing breaths
-learning

[buttercup]

-drinking more water today
-going to the gym today
-lattes
-vegan pizza
-getting my eyebrows threaded
-getting cakepops bought for me
-the beautiful warm sunny weather today
-the yoga pants i tried on today that look great on me
-my pink gym shoes i wore today with the yoga pants
-fashion
-getting the last images selected for debut launch of new project for business 2.so exciting.
-getting new eyeliner today
-getting coconut oil today
-my eos lipbalm
-getting a lot of positive attention and flirtations lately
-the stairmaster machine
-my stomach looking like it had quite a lot of definition this morning and feeling very toned
-that M can give me a ride to my job on Thursday and possibly have someone give me a ride on Wednesday
-feeling like bike riding can be easier then i thought since last time i tried,and that i just need to give it more of a chance
-that i took a week off from practicing driving and how nice that felt
-that M's husband will give me cab money to get to my job if needed
-sleep
-laughing
-front porch being almost cleared of my stuff

[buttercup]

-coconut oil
-water
-bhakti tea
-doing a nice meditation just now. so needed. mind was overactive today and felt moody.
-having a nice body
-yoga pants i'm wearing
-going for a nice 4 mile bike ride and seeing route to preferred train station and that it's an easy route and that this bike ride was much nicer and and easier.
-warm sunny weather today and how nice it felt to get some sun today. so healing.
-getting this tangerine lipbalm from whole foods i love today
-deciding to go ahead and reschedule a job i have for this saturday
-M saying we are going shopping next weekend
-cat coming to porch to hangout and feeding it and giving the cat water
-deep cleansing breaths
-getting vitamin A vitamins bought for me today
-seeing an old crush of mine is single on facebook last night
-getting the book today that psychiatrist wanted me to read
-makeup and trying out my new eyeliner today
-tofurkey
-coca cola
-the blowdryer and how nice it makes my hair look and how good it feels
-the new push up bra i wore today
-my style
-my stomach getting smaller and nice and defined
-sertraline
-lavender tea
-finding out today i do not like cayenne in chocolate after trying it which was something i had wanted to try
-inspiration
-affirmations
-thinking of life as an adventure
-laughing at how much i am then R
-cutting back on cheese and having had it only once last week

[buttercup]

-coconut oil
-getting vitamin K2today which i've been wanting to try and more copper
-going for another 4+mile bike ride today and how good it felt.
-how good the warm sunny,summery weather felt today
-cats
-yoga pants
-looking as if i lost weight today
-getting a lot of positive attention wherever i go
-coca cola
-that i get to work tomorrow
-my inner guidance telling me i need to just do it,in terms of taking little risks with things i want and writing something down in my calender to do this week
-water
-project being done for business 2
-getting resume updated more last night
-nightskies
-fashion
-my sense of style
-getting job rescheduled for the week after original date
-the tangerine lipbalm from whole foods i got yesterday. love it.
-stretches
-squats
-my job at the yoga studio
-my phone
-being more active nowdays which was someething i had wanted for awhile
-colors
-doing a minute of mirror technique affirmations last night before bed
-the hair mask i was sent in march or april i've been using

[buttercup]

-my style
-my beauty
-healthy digestion
-all going well
-what i do for a living
-being able to be at an expo that i wanted to go to before that is like heaven for me in ways and all the things going on there,and getting a bunch of samples to bring homeand trying lots of candy. it was like trick or treating
-coffee. and getting it for free.
-having the confidence to do what i had to do despite being anxious,late,and pms-ing
-seeing the cats today in the yard
-vegan burritos
-coca cola
-the new primer i got recently and how great it makes my skin look
-updating my resume and how great it looked
-getting project released today and how good it felt
-someone tagging me in social media to show gratitude
-how much i have going for me
-water
-great weather again today
-meeting cool people and doing interesting things
-my vitamins
-being able to sit down for part of my job
-having a laidback boss for this event
-inspiration
-stories of kindness
-my room almost being settled and coming together little by little
-the abundance in my life
-getting more cakepops bought for me

[buttercup]

-that my job is done
-that i overcame my slight fear of working at that location that sort of hindered me from taking on more jobs from there in the past so now i have that
-that i did a challenge i can tell my therapist about now of going somewhere on my own since i took a cab to my job today which was good for me
-how awesome it was to work with candy and all the different types from european,asian,mexican,vegan.natural,etc,etc and all the snacks i brought back and cool pics i took and having a laidback boss and getting paid and one of the girls seeming to get along with me
-a guy i know from online who has chatted me up before and asked me out and i seen him and he seen me and we had this little awkward moment because i was like oh,no is that him,does he see me in my head and sure enough we both recognized each other and he came up and chatted with me for a minute. he was working there,too and was more attractive in person actually. we have mutual friends on a social media and work in same field so it was good to meet in personi find it crazy how many people actually even remember me based on such minor encounters,time passing,etc,etc
-seeing people i recognized throughout the years of working jobs like this in the past which was kind of cool and being back in the scene of things again
-booking two jobs today and getting a call for another one
-healthy digestion
-laughing at life
-the pizza i got today
-feeling more attractive lately and in picture from job thinking i was most attractive girl in the picture
-positive attention and flirtation
-makeup
-that i can wear yoga pants again tommorow since that event is now over
-all the attractive people at the event
-coffee
-M's husband giving me cab money
-my bank account being bigger then it's been in awhile and how amazing that feels
-getting more confident in some ways from all i'm doing
-water
-cats
-inspiration
-positive signs

[dontco]

-Cathrine Ponder affirmations on YouTube
-Loads of love inside
-Amazing book I will send you (I already mentioned it, but it's really good).
-Feeling better.
-Getting a hold of my feelings.
-Reaching for a better feeling thought.
https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2016-03/10/12/enhanced/webdr07/enhanced-mid-10595-1457630519-1.jpg?no-auto

[buttercup]

-the air conditioner
-feeling less sick today
-coffee
-meeting all my goals for the month of may and how amazing that feels
-taking an uber for the first time on my own,and from here,and seeing how that went and how great it was. it was only 4 something with the credit i had and i got two offers for a ride back after of not needing to do uber so i took one of them up from my dad and got brought home so all in all very success. i had also been offered a ride there by M's husband but wanted to go there on my own.
-my dad being happy i came by
-seeing my brother's cat and how great that was and him sitting by me a lot
-my job at the yoga studio and how much i love it
-my beauty
-getting some abs
-the dots finally connecting more of how i'll do things i want to do now while i'm here
-that we are going shopping again Monday since it's a holiday and M loves going to the mall on holidays
-giving my brother some candy and snacks from my event when i came by
-my phone
-S liking a lot of my pics on ig lately for some reason
-feeling free in a lot of ways
-feeling very abundant,moreso then i've felt in awhile
-buying myself a pedicure certificate which just happens to be by my yoga studio job so i can easily go to it and some new legwarmers
-that i ended up doing 2 of 4 solo challenges proposed by therapist so far,which i'm actually happy with even if i don't get to 4 since that can be a gauging point for next time
-getting a good sleep last night
-things coming together
-how well things have been flowing
-seeing how it's actually perfect that job today i rescheduled for next week and another thing last week how it was actually perfect i opted out of last day of it
-all the jobs i have booked. june is already pretty full.
-a sense of satisfaction with how the month has gone
-doing the stairmaster for a few minutes last night and how great that felt. my new favorite cardio machine.
-my green tea face scrub
-deep,cleansing breaths
-stretches
-seeing life as an adventure
-my confidence growing
-quiet
-healthy digestion
-that time of the month so no more pms which is nice but instead a feeling of taking it easy
-great ideas coming to me
-the italian croissants i tried and love

[buttercup]

-Cathrine Ponder affirmations on YouTube
-Loads of love inside
-Amazing book I will send you (I already mentioned it, but it's really good).
-Feeling better.
-Getting a hold of my feelings.
-Reaching for a better feeling thought.
https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2016-03/10/12/enhanced/webdr07/enhanced-mid-10595-1457630519-1.jpg?no-auto


looove that pic. such cool colors.

[buttercup]

-water
-ideas
-getting some lavender herbal oil/extract
-nice weather
-croissant and tea from starbucks this morning
-umcka product helping me heal quicker from cold
-M's friend E helping us when her car battery died today
-feeling relaxed and cozy today
-getting over my fear of elevators quite a bit and being on it alone for 3 stops and going on it alone before someone came on for a few stops the other day at work and just feeling intuively i was ready to be over the elevator fear. it was a short fear anyways that had only come about months ago so that may have played a part in being easier to overcome
-feeling my feelings
-cats
-fashion
-being smart
-makeup
-protein drink M made me today
-meeting my goals
-not having to work today and how nice it feels to take it easy,especially after having reached all my goals
-room being a little cooler today
-getting things more organized today and room being a lot more settled
-the stairmaster machine
-nightskies
-donating some money to an animal charity i like last night
-comedy and laughing
-inspiration
-sales
-online shopping wishlists to keep track of things i like

[buttercup]

-good music
-sleep
-nice weather today
-bhakti coffee tea
-my laptop
-my phone
-an EFT session this morning to ease my anxiety
-being able to get in a decent meditation session
-prayer
-doing some mirror affirmations for a minute
-beauty
-umcka
-fashion
-that i get to go shopping tomorrow
-comfort
-great ideas
-being smart

[buttercup]

-going to the gym and doing the stairmaster and some toning machines
-my attractiveness
-going to the movies
-popcorn,cotton candy and soda at the movies
-nice weather today
-cats
-giving one of the cats i seen today a can of tuna in addition to the kibbles
-that i get to go shopping tomorrow
-M and her husband helping me out
-M putting her husband's fan in my room for sleep
-water
-having a nice body
-bhakti tea
-reassurances. got two of them at different times one by M's husband in the morning and then another at night by M that were nice
-nightskies
-dreaming and having things i want and the possibilities
-compliments
-moving forward
-rest and laying down
-how nice it feels for room to be more settled and throwing more things away
-newness
-entertainment
-my green gym shoes

[buttercup]

-how relaxed i feel and accomplished
-that i have no work tomorrow
-going shopping today and getting new shorts,swimswear,lingerie,backpack,emoji keychain,shorts,and socks and a black going out dress and how cute it all is
-going to the movies tonight and the movie being kind of good
-my strength
-the fan in my room
-protein drink M made for me
-sleep
-nice weather today
-fashion
-fun
-that business partner for second business project is now ready to be back on board with doing things again
-getting myself a certificate for a spa facial
-inspiration
-having a good amount of money in the bank still
-feeling abundant
-M saying she can take me to an outdoor pool soon so i can get some sun because she works there which is great since i love being in pools
-M saying giving me a ride on the days of my yoga studio job is no problem because she has a lot of time on the day that it is which is perfect actually
-umcka
-nightskies

[buttercup]

-lavender
-getting in a good workout today
-meditating
-getting drawer with beauty products organized and cleaned out
-my beauty
-when i look tall
-cats
-candy
-doing good with money
-newness
-feeling ready to examine my goals i've accomplished so far,and make some new ones
-healthy digestion
-being mostly over being sick
-getting a little bit done
-the white chocolate apricot bread
-the shopping i did yesterday and the cute new things i got
-water
-feeling like my third eye chakra wants to open/activate or is opening/activating
-

[buttercup]

woke up from a dream that felt so real with ex best friend that started off normal then he said something to me after seeming like it'd be a different answer and so quickly and my heart broke and i jumped up from bed and was in tears. ever since my breathing has felt a bit more constricted and my heart a little tight again. I've been questioning the meaning of life. I feel both heart broken yet free at the same time,both so lost,yet found,too.
-throat chakra solfeggios i'm listening to right now
-lavender
-a nice 5 mile bike ride in the sun
-pilates class today
-my thighs getting nice and tight
-protein drink M made me
-getting some more coffee and candy and sweets bought
-being safe
-stretches
-getting some more things organized and cleaned
-that job on friday was changed to a less far location then i originally thought
-deep cleansing breaths
-relaxation and moving slowly
-sleep
-feeling more confident with the bike and doing quite well with it. M's husband even joked I get A+ because of all the cars and handling it at the end. There was barely any nervousness with it
-cats
-all that i have going for me
-getting dentist appointment finally made
-meditation
-prayer
-getting some writing done last night on my goals
-having beautiful hands
-sodas
-becoming more confident in myself in general

[buttercup]

-sodas
-vitamins
-having a nice thigh gap,and and curvy hips
-yoga pants i wore today
-the hot guy who came to the yoga studio today and chatted with me and the other girl
-my job at the yoga studio
-getting my manicure and pedicure appointment
-deciding to write it in my book to go to the rooftop yoga then slow yoga next week before my shift next week
-the sun shining and nice weather today
-girl who works with me adding me to facebook and seeming to being friendly and really inviting me to things,and the community feel of the place and how laidback she is
-makeup
-stretches
-deciding to get a little active on social media today
-getting started on first draft of something i'm writing
-M finding my orange lipbalm
-my leg warmers coming in the mail today
-no longer being afraid of elevators
-cats
-deciding to go to a pilates class tonight
-M's husband not working tomorrow
-M giving me a ride to work today
-my new socks i got from shopping and how cute they looked with my pink and gray and black gym shoes i wore today
-having my little califia coffee and justin's peanut butter cups i brought to work
-feeling relaxed
-awesome memories and experiences
-my style
-lavender
-healthy digestion
-deep cleansing breaths
-inspiration
-meeting new people

[buttercup]

-getting my favorite cake pops bought for me after work
-working today and getting done very early
-going to an office of a popular news outlet for my job today
-getting comforted/reassured after feeling upset this morning on the way to work
-coffee
-nice sunny weather today
-a date set for the yoga job social coming up this month
-meeting people like me on my jobs and how nice that is
-yoga pants
-getting mashed potatoes,ciabatta role,and pepsi for lunch at the grocery store in my old neighborhood
-deep cleansing breaths
-requesting an appointment for my facial
-buying cat treats for my mom's cat and brother's cat and the great sale i seen on it which included free shipping which is one of my favorite deals
-cats
-spending time with the cats outside the house today and the mother cat seeming to start to really like me and letting me pet her and the friendly cat next door spending time with me on the porch today
-my ideas
-setting aside an outfit for my job on sunday
-getting a little more organized in my room
-buying some jellybeans today at the store
-getting some q-tips which i've been really wanting
-that the time of the month is now over and how great that feels
-kindness
-my little social media test/gauge checking out which is reassuring
-my phone
-laughter
-water
-lavender
-stretches
-coconut oil
-no longer being afraid of elevators

[buttercup]

-getting the rose face oil i wanted today
-boss coming to job today to give me my check from first job i did with her which was nice
-working today and feeling productive
-M giving me black tank tops to borrow that actually fit me pretty nice
-coffee
-laughing
-feeling ready to start dating and going out again
-getting a lyft credit
-feeling secure and abundant
-work getting done early again today
-lemon water
-going to the gym and doing 15 minutes on stairmaster today
-my awesome new activewear socks i got last week
-water
-rest
-stretches
-getting facial appointment confirmed
-my strength

[buttercup]

-vitamins
-water
-doing my job today and how good it was to get back in the swing of things with that
-a beautiful day at the beach
-the sun
-the beautiful colors of the beach water
-going to the movies
-fashion
-my wardrobe building up and becoming updated
-depositing my check on my phone which was awesome
-getting lyft back on my phone again
-having a youthful face
-squats
-stretches
-getting a new top from a store i used to shop at and realizing this store actually has good stuff again and their stuff always did have the most amazing quality
-my phone
-cats
-that i don't work tomorrow
-things feeling easier
-the social media gauge i did the other day checking out and seeing that again after all this time really proves something
-meeting a lot of my goals for june already
-bhakti coffee tea
-makeup
-the lotus pose coming together in a way that was actually perfect at my job. it ended up looking messy as sand got on my legs,which was perfect as it seemed even more symbolic of the lotus pose of coming out from the mud and being reborn. i looked so relaxed in the pictures too and carefree which was perfect.
-my kindhearted spirit
-becoming more confident in my capabilities
-the sky
-reassurances

[buttercup]

-lemons
-water
-lavender
-rose oil
-getting things figured out with my insurance so now things are more organized and getting my new insurance card in the mail shortly after the phone calls
-getting my prescription today
-knowing how to park a car now(parallel park)
-naps
-sports bras
-getting dressers organized and throwing out some old things
-getting a draft 2 done on a writing assignmen
-nice weather today
-cats
-my kind heart
-craving cleaner,healthier foods lately
-my room being clean
-my phone
-my style
-vitamins
-feeling calmer about some things
-meditating today
-stretches
-yoga
-my laptop
-cats
-getting some pictures of the cat that reminds me of my cat today
-healthy digestion
-my stomach getting flatter
-prayer
-coconut oil
-the wind
-my intelligence
-squats
-deep cleansing breaths
-having a great look

[buttercup]

-stretches
-squats
-healthy digestion
-stomach looking nice and flat today
-yoga pants
-makeup
-looking a little tan today
-my style
-sunglasses
-sertraline
-buying myself a body scrub from my favorite skincare brand
-getting a little plant today
-vegan food
-techno music
-lemons
-green smoothies
-trying new things
-water
-coconut oil
-rose oil for face
-getting another job possibility for first career
-sleep
-room being clean
-my beauty
-that i might go for a 14 mile bike ride tomorrow
-deep cleansing breaths
-beauty products
-sweets

[buttercup]

-doing an 8 mile bike ride today
-lemons
-the sun
-lavender
-rest
-getting an app finally on my phone i wanted
-water
-plants
-having some sense of spirituality that gives me solace getting through things
-cats
-getting slimmed out again
-getting nice and toned and curved
-stretches
-inspiration
-signs of things being reconnected to a way it was before that i like and reconnection in general
-taking my calcium/magnesium
-my taste in things
-that M said we can go swimming sunday
-meditating today and writing out my goals/desires after
-feeling more organized
-feeling like everything going on is just a cleansing and that things will be ok
-deep cleansing breaths
-things i want coming together

[buttercup]

-yoga pants
-getting my manicure and pedicure done today
-the perfect pink color on my fingernails
-having great cheekbones
-my sense of style
-being skinny
-feeling more go with the flow with life
-handling challenges that come my way with ease and grace
-cats
-lavender
-water
-acceptance
-squats
-coffee
-relaxation
-colors
-feeling so focused at the yoga studio
-getting a third draft done of writing project
-business partner emailing out what she was supposed to the other day
-plants
-no longer being afraid of elevators
-my laptop
-my phone
-getting my health insurance info finally
-getting more confident with some things
-catching up on emails and how nice that felt
-rest
-finding out i have more money on my account then i thought
-rosehip oil
-healthy digestion
-abs getting nice and defined
-inspiration
-the aqua yoga mat that is now in my room
-surrender
-deep cleansing breaths
-another job offer for primary career today and a confirmation for another offer for primary career

[newfreedom]

Shopping :mrgreen:

[buttercup]

-water
-getting the floor swept in my room finally
-reassuring articles online
-my awesome pedicure and manicure colors
-getting my check in the mail today
-working today
-finding another way to clear data on my phone so to download another app
-rest
-techno music
-a discount on a class from a studio i like since my birthday is coming up
-laughing at life
-makeup
-my hair
-yoga pants
-rosehip oil
-coffee
-plants
-clorox wipes

[buttercup]

-feeling a little better then last night
-coconut oil
-two bite brownies
-going to a vegan restaurant with M and her husband today
-my style
-my cheekbones
-makeup
-stretches
-sodas
-water
-cats
-coloring in the mandala coloring book i bought recently
-C,an acquiantance contacting me yesterday which was nice
-getting a box cleaned out tonight that's been in the closet for years
-getting a lock put on my door
-calcium/magnesium vitamins i have been taking
-reconnection

[buttercup]

-sales
-third eye solfeggios music
-cats
-seeing i was letting my thoughts go way too negative and thus attracting negative and so therefore started shifting them and changing my perspective and feeling better
-kindness
-pronoia
-vegan food
-lemons
-water
-rest
-surrender
-stretches
-coffee and munchkins this morning
-plants
-the yoga mat in my room
-inspiration

[buttercup]

-nice weather today
-sunshine
-cats
-yoga pants
-getting some cat food and treats for the cats today
-trying the other chlorophyll today
-lemons
-my beauty
-style
-inspiration
-getting my hair consultation done
-shifting my vibe/perspective and thoughts a little bit today
-rest
-feeling more positive manifestations again in things i felt upset/blocked about
-meditating last night to theta music
-getting $200 sent to my account to pay off my monthly bill
-getting candies i like bought for me from M
-deciding to start surrendering and allowing more
-my hair
-living fully
-stretches
-coffee and munchkins
-getting another shift for next week at yoga studio which is perfect since i may need to request a sub for my regular shift next week
-sleep

[buttercup]

-lemons
-water
-entertainment
-sour cherry skittles
-cakepops
-coffee
-having an amazing boss at the yoga studio
-getting next week shift rescheduling figured out
-compliments
-getting a lot done and caught up today
-my style
-my cheekbones
-deep cleansing breaths
-having so much more storage on my phone finally
-doing another job after yoga studio from primary career which felt nice and went well and like it went better then the last one i did
-having a nice shapely lower body
-my venus dimples
-surrender
-fashion
-stretches
-the pilates class i took last night and how nice and sore it made me
-cats
-the vegan pizza slice from whole foods i got for lunch after my job at the yoga studio
-skyscrapers
-yoga pants
-my cute pink and black and gray socks from asics
-hearing possible good news today that another shopping trip will probably be soon
-confirming 5 jobs yesterday
-meeting my financial goal for july already
-meeting my little challenge the other day and trying a new ridesharing service as well and seeing my brother's cat
-sleep
-rest
-my ambition

[buttercup]

-the smell of chlorine
-the smell of sunblack
-going to the pool today and getting some sun and going in the water. was so nice
-stretches
-my body being nice and sore
-finding my mason jars today which had been missing since April which made me so happy
-rest
-feeling relaxed
-nice weather
-cats
-my beauty
-my style
-my boss at yoga studio being so great
-finding outsocial tomorrow is rescheduled which actually works perfect since it sounds like they're planning something even more my style. things are always working out for me
-the iced frappucino drink without whipped cream i had today and croissant
-newness
-the internet
-finding a place i want to check out next week that's a match to what i want
-getting the shirt i ordered in the mail today
-healthy digestion
-meditation
-water
-canned food for the cats outside bought today
-doing good with cleaning up my diet just a little bit

[newfreedom]

A new double bed for Rome & I, duvet, pillows, sheets - the bed is so comfy, spaceous & EASY to use xxxx
my daughter;s decision to leave home, rather than 'face the Health care Specialists
that Rome & I managed a quarry walk & that rome acted as my carer during the walk
that FINALLY Yuki our adopted ferret has intergrated with the Kiba & kenji & all 3 can be out of thier cages & be all together indoors & outdoors 'playtime'
that today i have the whole bungalow to myself - only the dogs & ferrets to share the space with.

Amazon delivery of:


flax oil for me & doggie flax oil for Rome.
AA batteries
battery toothbrush for me (i was still using the 'free' one i got when in hospital last July)
Organic greens protein
pyrex measuring jug
Vega sport energiser powder
all the boxes & wrapping as 'new equipment' for ferret playtime

[buttercup]

-lemons
-water
-spending a few hours at the pool today
-having a great body
-getting positive attention and flirtation for my looks
-that my breasts seem to be getting bigger even though i'm working out more and losing a bit of weight
-yoga pants
-cute socks
-my strength
-my authenticity
-the movie not being too bad i went to see today
-M buying me a new shirt today
-having a great lower body
-my venus dimples
-confirming another job today
-lavender
-ashwagandha
-my style and having a nyc look
-my phone
-the internet
-freedom
-having a kind heart
-plants
-coconut oil
-the sun
-aloe vera
-my dry skin seeming to go away a bit
-stretches
-rest
-mocha vegan frap M bought me today with croissant and more cakepops
-getting coffee and munchkins bought for me today this morning from M's husband and him asking ex best friend question for me
-techno music
-laughing
-makeup
-vitamins
-acupressure
-finding my little pink buddha statue and few other things i had been looking for

[newfreedom]

Woodworm capsules (vegan)
Cloves capsules (vegan)
Green Black Walnut Hull tincture

[buttercup]

-lavender
-my phone
-rest
-helping cats
-getting a vegan sanctuary mail today with mine and ex's best friends name on it which was interesting timing as i just found out the heartbreaking news last night he is no longer vegetarian
-my beauty
-yoga pants
-fashion
-pepsi
-water
-finding out about my eyeglasses what is going on finally and how nice the medicaid and insurance people were on the phone with helping me
-naps
-meditation
-getting more things organized and how great that feels
-aloe vera
-coconut oil
-rosehip oil
-that my dry skin on my chin has seemed to go away
-meditation
-the mirror in my room
-getting another job confirmed
-stretches
-squats
-p.r telling me they are sending me product i requested

[buttercup]

-lemons
-yoga
-letting myself cry it out
-meditation
-band-aids
-cats
-getting call from animal shelter
-my job at the yoga studio and how nice everyone there is
-makeup
-coffee
-sweets
-getting cupcakes from a shop i wanted to try today
-ideas
-getting my article finished or just about
-coloring in my mandala coloring book today
-how amazing yoga felt last night. my back was killing me and my neck bothering me and the yoga hurt yet felt good as it released the tension and i felt great afterwards. was just what i needed.
-the yoga mat in my room
-healthy digestion
-ashwagandha
-another p.r confirming another product being sent to me
-cute socks
-having a great lower body
-my favorite body moisturizer
-aloe vera
-deciding to get myself the olive swim top i wanted

[buttercup]

-getting my facial today and how great my skin looks now
-getting some cupcakes from my new favorite cupcake boutique
-my job at the yoga studio
-nice weather today
-my style
-my stomach looking more defined and flatter
-coconut oil
-sodas
-the mom cat who comes to the yard bringing her newest babies last night in the middle of the night and today seeing them and and her older cats and boyfriend all as a family. so cute.
-water
-lavender
-my phone
-getting my writing piece finished
-my mandala coloring book
-comments that people make that make me laugh
-the internet
-nightskies
-yoga pants
-stretches
-yoga
-getting sent a bunch of eyelash curlers from p.r the other day
-getting my dentist appointment the other day done and it not being too bad and knowing now what's next
-deep cleansing breaths
-getting new socks in the mail today i ordered and that they look as they did on the website and getting a discount code with the other as well
-ideas
-feeling more confident
-staying alone here at night for the first time the other day for a few hours in the early evening
-getting things more organized
-eye massage
-my new favorite cupcake boutique and how amazing the cupcake i had the other day was
-my taste in things
-finding out i was in another publication recently and getting a little more fame
-my strength
-kind people
-getting the baby cat who had an eye shut when we got back,getting it open for him
-sleep
-coffee
-fashion
-compliments
-vitamins
-summertime
-becoming more confident and capable
-socks
-having the day off tomorrow and nothing i have to do out of the house
-having more money then i've had in awhile
-meditation
-sunglasses
-staying off cheese and cleaning up my diet
-goals
-being attractive
-my sweetness

[buttercup]

-cats
-working today
-sunshine
-prayer
-meditation
-my teeth
-having nice large chest
-coffee
-seeing after i was late today,it was no big deal,and someone was late even after me
-buying some moroccan red clay and geranium oil today
-my style
-my strength
-eating cleaner
-ashwagandha
-M saying we will go shopping soon
-my job at the yoga studio and how much more confident it's made me
-stretches
-sertraline
-rest
-M helping clean my room
-kindness
-getting done with work early today
-washing the yoga mat
-getting caught up on work things and how great that feels
-plants
-nightskies
-blankets
-positive transformation
-business partner for 2n business saying she is designing cards for us
-mouthwash
-coconut oil
-roseseed hip oil
-dad's gf saying she likes his cat

[lord.of.the.now]

3 points

Gratitude is a true progressive freedom as you progressive daily gratitude
Gratitude is true pure spiritual satisfaction
Gratitude is true spiritual abundance

Gratitude can value the divine more than ever in your life comparing to people who have divine without gratitude.

The more you value the divine the more spiritually rich the divine appears to you
The more richer you become


Gratitude can be the expression of love

[lord.of.the.now]

buttercup your probably the most greatful person I have ever meet

[buttercup]

-water
-stretches
-soda
-naps
-that psychiatrist said she'd sign a note for me that i can't work
-that i was prescribed a new med and may get another one for anxiety soon,too
-the internet
-cats
-bug spray
-clothes fitting loose and body looking slim
-getting suncare products from p.r today
-getting my swimsuit top in the mail today
-getting more things organized
-getting a little work done today
-vitamins
-coconut oil
-aloe vera
-getting one of my follow up phone calls finished
-kindness
-finding the perfect thing to do for myself for week 2 or 3
-eucalyptus oil
-music
-sportsbras
-compliments
-my phone
-deep cleansing breaths
-art

[buttercup]

buttercup your probably the most greatful person I have ever meet
Lol,thanks. My gratitude lists may seem long but i think i need to apply it more in day to day life.

[buttercup]

-water
-yoga
-candy
-stretches
-eating cleaner
-having money
-sodas
-naps
-sleep
-cats
-sweaters
-art
-creativity
-face yoga and face massage
-calmness
-deep cleansing breaths
-my skin looking younger today
-ideas
-comedy and laughter
-kindness
-lavender
-my wardrobe getting updated and transformed
-appreciation
-getting another follow up call completed today
-getting a little work done today
-having strong teeth
-coconut oil
-roseseed hip oil
-M making me a protein drink tonight
-my whole foods tangerine lipbalm
-colors
-goals
-animal advocates
-playing with redirecting my thoughts a little bit today and yesterday
-feeling a little bit of piece of magic tonight
-how beautiful the moon looks

[buttercup]

-cats
-kindness
-sodas
-sleep
-cleaning up my eyebrows today and how great of a job i did
-my job at the yoga studio
-healthy digestion
-my teeth
-my favorite socks i love to wear
-relaxation
-flashlights
-getting an airbrush tan today
-things flowing a little bit more today
-today not going so bad
-the smell of lemongrass at the spa
-entertainment
-balancing my chakras and raising my vibration with solfeggios and thetas last night and today and how much it boosted my mood
-coffee
-sertraline
-having a nice body
-deep cleansing breaths
-friendliness
-being attractive
-my femininity
-yoga pants
-doing a mini anxiety challenge today and completing it
-awesome ideas
-relaxing more about money
-finding my health insurance card
-doing a gratitude list for the last year
-setting intentions for next year
-lavender
-getting my dental cleaning done and how good that felt
-compliments
-guys i find attractive
-getting my frames picked out again
-plants
-inspiration
-nightskies

[buttercup]

-ashwagandha
-taking my other new anxiety medicine today for the first time and deciding to take just half of it
-coffee
-doing my job today
-great weather
-being thin
-my favorite pink gym shoes
-my style
-having nice legs
-doing my anxiety challenge today and suceeding
-the nice lady who helped me when i had some anxiety about finding a place today
-learning
-taking the yoga class today my work offers for the first time and how relaxing it was
-new experiences
-deciding to dive into new experiences,learning,and moving outside my comfort zone a little
-the pizza slice without cheese i had today
-M getting me some gifts today for some reason. a mug,cutesy hairbrush,chocolates she knows i like,and a stuffed animal. each item had a thoughtful item she provided for giving it to me.
-confirming another job today
-seeing a girl i worked with on job today from a few years ago i worked with which was nice.i like things like that.
-makeup
-appreciation
-smiling
-humor
-learning
-inspiration
-coconut oil
-eucalyptus oil

[buttercup]

-the delicious cheeseless pizza slice i had
-my beauty
-how great i look today with my tan
-people being sociable to me
-my style
-the feeling of being part of a community/group
-having a great lower body
-my pink and black and gray gym shoes
-the great feeling i have since doing my anxiety challenge yesterday
-ashwagandha
-fashion
-water
-coffee
-deep cleansing breaths
-the new medicine i started taking yesterday
-soda
-fashion
-buying more cupcakes from my favorite cupcake shop
-nice weather today
-team lead being protective towards me today
-having strong teeth
-beauty
-that I might go to a restaurant i've been wanting to try this weekend
-my bank account
-feeling more secure today
-the sky
-seeing uber is having a sale this week

[buttercup]

-finding my interview paper for benefits date and seeing it's timed perfectly for after therapy on the same day which is perfect time to bring my note as well
-M's thoughtfulness
-going to the pool today
-my new shirt i wore for the first time today and how good it looked on me
-healthy digestion
-sleep
-all the cats that come by the house and how nice that is
-soda
-having a nice body
-praise
-getting more positive looks since getting my tan
-finding out we are going shopping tomorrow
-the fireworks i see just being outside
-stopping to get sweet potato fries i was craving at the vegan restaurant I like that M liked as well
-my style
-shopping
-fashion
-getting my first article for new venture started complete and how good that felt
-learning how to edit a post from mine and business partner's website and how great and fun that felt
-deep cleansing breaths
-M saying she bought me bug spray and it's in the mail and that it's natural
-meditation
-ashwagandha
-doing a little visualization at the end of my meditation
-M saying we might go to my favorite place in the U.S this christmas and that she will look up ticket prices soon
-the 2nd eyelash curler i tried working nicely
-techno music
-headphones
-flashlights
-water
-my flexibility
-yoga
-pronoia

[buttercup]

-cleaning my room and organizing more stuff
-tea
-things feeling back to normal again with M and her husband and tension i felt feeling gone
-M taking me shopping yesterday and that it made me even forget it was the 4rth of july for some time
-realizing i can have plans that aren't going to a firework show on the 4th and still have a good fourth of july and that in a way,i was just stuck in a rut even with that all those years and didn't even realize it
-seeing fireworks in the sky in the neighborhood that looked nice
-the cats that come to the yard and how cute they are
-my kindness
-my beauty
-yoga pants
-getting my awesome wall decal in the mail today
-feeling content now about my birthday
-the awesome fourth of july cake slice i had and how good it was
-soda
-water
-sleep
-meditation
-my mandala coloring book
-relaxation
-having the house to my self for some time today
-M seeming nicer to me lately
-eating at the cheesecake factory yesterday and it being much better then i expected and eating all vegan
-sweet potato fries
-booking two jobs today,one of them on my birthday and being ok with working on my birthday.i used to never do so,but now i think it's good to break out of ruts and that good things can come from it
-catching up on all the phone calls i needed to catch up on today and seeing all is fine with my food card,and that my eyeglasses have shipped and will only take about two weeks now
-stretches
-healthy digestion
-coffee
-writing out my goals for the next two months and how goo that felt
-makeup
-beauty products
-M putting money on my card so i can monthly bill i have

[buttercup]

-goals
-hope
-beauty
-having a toned lower body
-doing the cycling class and then yoga class last night and how good it felt to sweat and then open my body
-having a massage tomorrow
-that M can bring me to work tomorrow
-the cats that come to the yard
-meditation
-prayer
-my strength
-sweet potato fries
-nightskies
-my kindness
-coffee
-sweets
-the other night,just for a moment,feeling the magic of life,or a flicker of it at least
-mouthwash
-going to therapy today
-getting the doctor's note and then exemption today that prevents my benefits from being interfered with and what a stress release that was
-stretches
-learning new yoga poses i can do
-taking things one day at a time and how good that feels and how present,and open and spontaneous that feels and even more secure and adventurous
-deep cleansing breaths
-pronoia and surrender
-fashion
-being given a little bit of money today
-coconut oil
-that my eyes seem to be changing appearance again and becoming clearer and as if they have flecks of a different color as well in the irises
-the nightlight in my room
-smiling
-getting an invite out even though it's something i can't do
-being able to see the law of attraction in effect
-my face looking young

[buttercup]

-getting a massage today
-getting tension released from my neck from the massage
-my eyes
-my strength
-the cats that come to the yard
-a nice meditation session today
-ashwagandha
-having a young looking face
-makeup
-coffee
-blankets
-having a moment of prescence and reflection while at the yoga studio in a trendy item i had wanted before and reflecting on manifestation of being in that moment
-the yin yoga session i did tonight and how good that felt
-getting more things organized
-ginger candies
-vegan pizzas
-becoming interested in eating cleaner again
-inspired ideas
-M giving me money since i have to find my own way to work tomorrow
-waking up earlier
-that my mom wants to see me on my birthday
-my beauty
-newness
-positive transformation and learning and growing
-deep cleansing breaths
-the universe and God
-prayer
-chakra solfeggios and theta musics
-headphones
-that business partner is going to pay for our business cards
-doing a little reading today

[buttercup]

-going to work today
-doing another anxiety challenge and mastering this step that i've been working on. today was an uber to my job.
-uber just happening to have that sale this week
-taking a yoga class today
-vegan food
-yoga and how much more into i havebeen becoming lately
-the sun
-my sunglasses
-craving eating cleaner
-tea
-water
-ice
-ginger candy
-the moon
-nightskies
-inspiring someone today on the uber ride who cried and says she never does that while on the job and said she loves me and that i'm angel when i gave her some important words she needed to hear without meaning to
-goals and inspiration
-compliments
-my strength
-people saying happy birthday to me
-my femininity
-earning money
-deep cleansing breaths
-chakra solfeggio and thetas musics
-thoughtful touches M sometimes has such as bringing me protein today in my mason jar when just the night before she asked why do i have them and i said because i used to use them in my apartment for protein drinks,fruit smoothies,and lemon water and loved them in the mason jars and her waiting to go to bed until i got out of shower just to tell me the washer is now free since she knew i was waiting to use it,and then waking up to see she switched my clothes into the dryer for me.

[buttercup]

-deep cleansing breaths
-ashwagandha
-cats
-yoga
-coffee
-M taking me shopping and to dinner yesterday
-vegan food
-the sun
-cupcakes
-feeling drawn to give up soda soon and like it'd be good for me and actually very easy to do
-having money
-getting what i want
-fashion
-my style
-my dentist appointment coming up soon
-my new desk in my room
-my bed
-my pillows
-my laptop im using
-naps
-people seeming excited by my presence and wondering where i had been at my last yoga class
-my beauty
-yoga pants
-ice cold water
-tea
-no work tomorrow or for the next few days
-cool new things to try
-reflective meditative insights
-chakra solfeggios and theta musics
-friendly people
-appreciation
-seeing everything works out
-meeting my goals
-donkey kicks exercises
-walking
-becoming more competant with things related to my anxiety and the sense of pride it makes me feel
-feeling secure
-feeling abundant
-ginger candies

[buttercup]

-new clothes and makeup
-getting more things organized
-techno music
-getting some work done today
-ice cubes
-water
-my new desk
-sleep
-naps
-cats
-my caring heart
-my beauty
-looking like a model
-getting a follow up on a free hair color appointment
-yoga
-yoga pants
-sweets
-great deals
-vitamins
-my meds
-finding things i was looking for
-becoming more confident in my competency
-coffee
-healthy digestion
-meditation
-the mirror in my room
-getting room cleaned and bed in a new spot yesterday
-mouthwash
-vegan food
-getting a lot done today
-no work tomorrow
-another anxiety challenge or two to do this week
-that this month has been smoother then last month so far
-summer time
-night skies
-ideas
-eye massage
-my phone
-my phone charger
-pillows
-fashion
-relaxation
-shopping
-breaks
-feeling my feelings
-nurturing
-gratitude
-learning
-being smart

[buttercup]

-yoga
-weight going down today
-soda pop
-deep cleansing breaths
-water
-ice cubes
-getting my glasses today finally and how great it feels
-doing my anxiety challenge today and how well it went
-getting a ride home from dad's house today which was so great
-great deals
-my brother's cat and how sweet he is
-compassion
-getting a response for a haircut
-my new desk
-yoga pants
-socks
-goals
-getting products for that time of the month bought for me
-my cheekbones
-having a nice glow to my skin
-my beauty
-being smart
-lavender
-having a good day today
-how great's my 2nd business's website is looking and getting excited for doing that work again
-my poise
-practicing the art of slowing down
-contentment
-music

[buttercup]

-deciding to let go of control a little and become a little more detached
-looking good
-my cheekbones
-my style
-fashion
-my big(for me) decision to give up soda starting next week since my intuiton has beentelling me it's literally the main thing that keeps my diet from being clean and giving that up would heal/detox and connect the dots for everything else with my diet goals,as if the soda is the last thing that really needs to be done(and had been the thing i was most resistant and yet now it feels so easy)and will help all the other parts come together more easily by doing that
-water
-ice cubes
-consideration
-rest
-M's friend from the gym giving me a birthday card
-tea
-lavender
-makeup
-my new eyeglasses
-my weight going down and seeing meds definitely weren't affecting weight
-meditation
-buying myself a cool peacock eyepillow from etsy last night
-staying in the moment and surrendering
-getting things organized
-getting a lot done
-great music
-having a sexy body
-the nightlight in my room
-my awesome new desk
-scalp massage
-jaw exercises
-changing my profile picture on my main email account after realizing the picture could symbolize disconnection and I've had it for a few years and have felt more disconnected the last few years and want something more cheery
-the amazing vegan burrito i had today
-socks
-gratitude
-that this month is more in flow then the last month
-yin yoga

[buttercup]

-the really hot guy from about a month ago at the yoga studio coming by and flirting with me. At first he waved then came in looking for my boss and i suspected he must like her and just let go,a bit disappointed and then he came back for one of the services and after talked with me for a few minutes and seemed to be flirting and also like he came out of his service early to talk with me.i got the vibe he did like my boss but avoided talking about her and said twice two things about how things are great now,and now summer is great as if he was referring to me. it was subtle but something about him just keeps me thinking about him every time i see him. i blushed and was fidgety during the chatting. he asked again about when i'm there and even seemed to remember my name when he had come back. he said he forgot,and asked me to repeat it but before he did he said the first part of it.which is remembering far better then me.
-feeling relaxed
-coffee
-my meds
-being on day one of taking one day off per week of drinking soda
-rest
-my book i've been reading growing on me and even somehow making me emotional
-yin yoga,which i swear seems to be making me slightly more in the flow with things since doing it the last few days
-surrender
-water
-ice cubes
-weight going down
-my beauty
-fashion
-having a nice body
-ashwagandha
-lavender
-tea
-cats
-my kind heart
-M's husband getting out of work early and picking me up on time
-getting more job offers today
-a beautiful new photo from recent job
-makeup
-getting cover of recent project chosen and how stunning it is
-my mandala coloring book
-getting a first draft done on new article i'm working on
-my femininity
-learning again how often i'm wrong when i assume the worst
-newness
-the new people i've been meeting lately
-ideas
-goals
-my ambition
-my favorite italian sunglasses
-security
-abundance
-letting go
-beauty

[buttercup]

-carrots
-mustard
-coffee
-cats
-being flirted with
-M buying me mini cupcakes that were so good at the mall
-M buying me new heels i was wanting and yoga pants at the mall today
-feeling attractive
-ashwagandha
-laughing at life
-my style
-seeing how when i surrender and stay open,how well things really flow
-yoga and going to yoga class today
-sleep
-rest
-the hot guy from the other day being on my mind
-great idea to save money more efficiently that i've started implementing
-movies
-beauty
-beautiful models with great looks
-seeing cool products at a new store i checked out today
-transformation
-my new eyeglasses
-letting go a little
-deep cleansing breaths
-relaxation
-water
-soda
-my bed
-eye exercises
-meditation
-prayer
-things started to feel easier and in the flow again
-looking like a model
-ahimsa
-newness
-tension with M seeming to be gone
-my meds i take
-fashion
-feeling comfortable and secure
-feeling abundant

[buttercup]

-water
-ice cubes
-going another day this week without soda,unintentionally,and deciding to surrender to it,since my aim is to no longer be the girl who drinks soda and now deciding to go one day a week without soda instead of two.thus far,in that one day the other day,i felt cleaner and my teeth felt cleaner despite still eating other sweets and drinking coffee,and my stomach possibly was flatter too. I have been feeling like my higher self is nudging me to let go of the soda habit and with all of the other new changes i'm making right now in my life,this feels very right.
-watching a movie
-laughter
-throat chakra solfeggios
-writing out my goals and ideas tonight
-sangria sorbet i got today. so good.
-my meds
-sleep
-rest
-cats
-meditation
-surrender
-relaxation
-letting go
-feeling secure
-feeling abundant
-comfort
-getting positive attention from the opposite sex whenever i'm introduced or out and about
-deep cleansing breaths
-M being nicer to me lately
-the hot guy from the other day
-stretches
-ginger candy
-beauty
-great deals
-being cute
-great weather today
-my favorite sunglasses
-the fan in my room

[buttercup]

-little reconnection things and seeing people from primary career years ago still doing cool things which is inspiring and affirming
-being able to drink soda today.i really am addicted.i felt such a need for it today,and after felt a certain satiation from it as if it was addicting. however,i'm currently going two days a week without it and it's fine.
-sleep
-naps
-getting an amazing massage today. the masseuse did such a good job. got the kinks out of my neck and even went longer then the time paid for.
-the champagne with my massage.i think with my living situation now,i enjoy alcohol even more since it's like a little rebellion,and makes me feel young and free to have something even say the word alcohol in it,or have a smidge of alcohol in it's contents. the champagne was great,and very relaxing. it was my first time drinking a full serving of alcohol in months. i felt it a little more then usual either because it's been so long,or because of the meds,but at least now i know,too i can handle one glass of champagne with the meds
-a mini driving lesson in a parking lot to refresh since it's been a while since practicing. there's nothing but myself holding me back now from taking the test since i now have the glasses.i think it's been adequate studying and practice time,too and i feel ready so after a few more refresh lessons,i am going to take the test. it actually feels time. wow. while writing this is the first time,i felt that for the driving liscense.
-deep cleansing breaths
-socks
-feeling relaxed
-ordering a diffuser i've wanted for awhile for myself last night
-my eyeglasses
-cats
-having a young looking face
-M's husband waking me up so i didn't miss my appointment today
-my style
-yoga pants
-going in the grocery store alone yesterday before M came in while she wrote her things down from her class and how i'm getting more competant and capable with the little anxiety inducing things
-editing some pics i got to my liking and making them look before then how they were edited.
-my beauty
-my jobs and what i do as careers
-feeling peaceful
-lavender
-stretches
-yin yoga
-insect repellant
-surrender
-meditation
-prayer
-water
-ice cubes
-my meds
-that my weight went down

[buttercup]

-more little reconnection things. so cool.
-lavender
-water
-getting room cleaned and more things organized
-shopping
-perspective
-yin yoga
-surrender
-kindness
-feeling nurtured
-feeling like life is trying to make me happy
-my style
-my cheekbones
-my young face
-my hair
-that i get to get my haircut tomorrow. been almost a year since i got it professionally styled
-little gray baby kitten's eye seeming to be doing a little better
-sportsbras
-having a nice chest
-catching up on some reading and seeing the book i've been reading as quite helpful now
-coloring
-calmness
-taking life one day at a time
-something to get excited about
-goals
-feeling secure
-feeling abundant
-therapy. it's one thing i had resisted but actually enjoy having in my arsenal of wellness tools
-protein drink M made me today
-rest
-deep cleansing breaths
-prayer
-practicing some visualization today
-meditation
-gratitude
-my laptop
-seeing life work out for me
-cats
-laughter
-smiling

[buttercup]

-water
-allowing myself to slow down
-ice cubes
-deep cleansing breaths
-the delicious biscuits i had today
-candy
-getting my hair cut today
-cats
-handling my anxiety challenge today and becoming little by little more and more competant and overcoming my anxiety issues
-M putting $25 in my account last night
-meditation
-M stopping at whole foods and asking me if i need anything and picking up some things for me including my lavender oil i just ran out which was awesome
-getting my diffuser in the mail today and how great it works
-yoga
-the tibetan music i'm listening to right now which is slowing my mind down and feels wonderful
-feeling like all is well,and all is fine
-newness
-excitement
-socks
-my eyeglasses
-finding out i should be able to get a ride to my dentist appointment friday
-feeling ready to order first marketing material for new business this year
-my creativity
-looking young
-inspiration
-ashwagandha
-more job opportunities coming in today
-feeling at peace
-comfort

[buttercup]

-yin yoga
-ice cold water
-ordering promo material for business venture last night
-my essential oil diffuser
-essential oils
-rest
-naps
-my style
-my new haircut
-my beauty
-having a young face
-deep cleansing breaths
-adding more money to my set aside money
-my phone
-finding more yin yoga inspiration
-coming to decisions and feeling at peace with them
-lavender
-hot tea
-relaxing
-coffee
-my meds
-sweets
-meditation
-prayer
-getting some more things done today
-my new eyeglasses
-cats
-creativity
-things to look forward to
-having a ride for my things to do thursday and friday
-inspiration
-being young
-smiling
-learning more about who i am

[buttercup]

-seeing G today. I had a little worry I wouldn't see him again,but yet a semi strong feeling I would. Then,in the beginning of the shift,I started to think maybe I wouldn't and that's ok ,and right as I started stretching,he came in. He made some kind of joke,but I couldn't hear what he said. Maybe something flirty? I tried analyzing later and realized that would've been maybe inappropiate though,so maybe not? He has such a sweet,polite demeanor. I really enjoy him being around,though he makes me nervous. I joked with him that he always comes in when i'm stretching.I was a little more confident today which was good. He didn't chat with me afterwards today,but it was actually strangely busy today after having not been busy for awhile and he stayed the longest so i'm thinking,possibly he didn't because of the other guys there and feeling too shy,or like it'd be too difficult. But,that could just be me being hopeful. Even,still,he was the first one who came in on my shift,and somehow it all feels sort of "right" and even storylike how it's all playing out with him showing up and it suddenly being busier then usual. Very meet-cute the first 3 times of us meeting.
-yoga pants
-my job at the yoga studio
-yin yoga
-getting my eye pillow today and it looking even cuter then i thought it would
-the beautiful cat who comes to my yard that I call "mom"
-deep cleansing breaths
-my stylish haircut
-makeup
-coffee
-doing my 2nd week now of going 2 days a week without soda. it's a little hard,but it feels important.
-that i get to go to the dentist tomorrow
-my essential oil diffuser
-being given money today
-adding more money to my set aside account
-depositing cash i had on me finally
-getting a draft 2 done on my most recent article i'm working on
-feeling like i get a lot of positive attention for my looks
-ice cold water
-cake pops
-my phone
-inspiration
-doing my anxiety challenge today and also finally checking out a cool lunch spot that had been a place i wanted to try for years and is a block away from my job
-meditation
-having class
-looking young
-my eyeglasses
-music
-newness
-transformation
-reconnection

[buttercup]

-being able to have soda today
-going to the dentist today and how nice he was
-ice cold water
-the cat family that comes to our yard.
-my beauty
-job offers kicking in again a little bit
-finding out my check was just mailed
-M being nicer to me lately
-my eyeglasses
-coffee
-the little mini-cupcakes i got today
-going to the pool today and getting some sun. was sweating from sitting out there and then the water in the pool felt amazing.
-my sunglasses
-yoga
-yoga pants
-chakra music and thetas
-music
-feeling secure
-feeling abundant
-rest
-feeling relaxed
-fashion
-my sense of style
-walking
-manifesting things i want
-deep cleansing breaths
-stretches
-newness
-possibility
-feeling open
-acupressure
-the internet
-the line of my lips
-great deals

[buttercup]

-ice cubes and ice cold water
-my strength
-my sophistication
-my style
-my haircut
-my beauty
-cats
-confirming another job today and getting some positive perspective about august financial goals
-my stomach being really flat today
-having very smooth skin
-having nice thin legs
-getting along more with M again
-balsamic vinegar
-mustard
-finding an amazing deal on a chemical peel last night that i purchased which was on my list of things to try
-getting more things organized
-setting some tentative deadlines for things
-coffee
-candy
-getting a new pitch idea for work
-doing a mini sidewalk driving lesson. didn't go so well since it's been so long since doing regular driving lessons. but,was good try and be on the road again
-having a cute,young look
-the diffuser in my room
-rest
-my vitamins
-my meds
-that animals tend to like me
-finding out that according to my insurance packet online,root canals actually ARE covered
-doing a nice theta musics meditation today
-prayer
-my peacock eyepillow i used during my meditation.
-music
-feeling secure
-feeling abundant
-smiling
-laughing
-love

[buttercup]

-my strength
-going to the pool today
-water
-that i'm able to go two days a week without soda
-my favorite sunglasses
-the starbucks frappucino M got me today
-socks
-M getting me new yoga pants and socks today
-naps
-rest
-vegan food
-entertainment
-getting the little downstairs area cleaned for the cats
-the cat family that comes to the yard
-my laptop
-music
-my kind heart
-my haircut
-my style
-getting more organized in my room
-minimalism
-surrender
-prayer

[buttercup]

-my eyeglasses
-water
-M giving me money for the uber i have to take tomorrow
-getting my check today
-going to the psychiatrist today and getting a new med to try and off the last one i did not like
-tension going away with me and M's husband
-the cats that come to the yard
-buying cat food for the cats that come to the yard
-good bras
-socks
-surrender
-getting a social invite that i think i can do from a former good friend of mine. it'll be my first social outing since my new living situation
-ease
-my peacock eye pillow
-doing a little anxiety challenge today and how much stronger and competant i'm getting with things like that
-the positive transformation coming about in me
-starting to feel more filled,and settled now
-being present in the moment and taking life one day at a time
-a nice journaling session that helped me last night
-chakra music which always raises my vibe
-music
-softness
-reassurances
-stretches

[buttercup]

-healthy digestion
-basil
-the awesome smoothie at the juice bar i tried today
-the pep in my step i get after doing an anxiety challenge
-working today
-my strength
-more work offers kicking in today
-getting more offers and a compliment on my honest when i called the boss about being late
-remembering an important detail about G that makes me wonder if there is something special about him. the first time we met,he made a comment about my business i mentioned and the name and quantum physics that stuck out to me. It's been an interest,and passion of mine,and that he caught onto the title relating to that really stood out to me back then. on top of that,he seems to mark everything on my what i want in a guy list thus far of what i know of him,so maybe there is something to pay attention to.
-the baby kitten opening up to us more,and rolling around and showing us her stomach. she is so cute and looks like a tiny mini-me version of her mother.
-vegan food
-getting my check yesterday
-not having to work tomorrow and that i can use tomorrow to catch up on phone calls
-ahimsa
-inspiration
-finding out i was wrong about a paranoia of mine with ex best friend the other day
-stretches
-the anxiety challenge i did today which was so good for me,and in a way was 3 challenges,though 2 were things i had done recently already but even so,i am building more and more and it feels great.
-my eyeglasses
-coffee
-my phone
-great deals
-calmness
-surrender
-that the kittens eyes are looking better and as if they are healing
-cotton balls
-earning money
-uber pool
-my venus dimples
-having a toned lower body
-my dancer's poise

[buttercup]

-yoga
-water
-newness
-music
-cleaning my laptop and phone
-cleaning and organizing my room
-the internet
-the cats that come to the yard
-that the kitten's eyes seem to be healing
-deep cleansing breaths
-catching up on phone calls today
-donkeykicks exercise move
-cupcakes
-coffee
-finding out my insurance does cover root canals and getting referrals for dentists closer to me
-rose oil and how amazing it smells in my diffuser
-confirming another job today so august financial goals are now met
-how much more competant and capable i've become over the years and again over the months
-my eyeglasses
-relaxation
-inspiration
-fashion
-surrender
-plucking my eyebrows tonight and doing just about or almost as good as a job as when i go get them threaded
-face massage
-head massage
-clorox wipes
-reflection and feeling my feelings
-donating to my favorite farm animal charity today
-my kind heart
-my job at the yoga studio
-kindness

[buttercup]

-letting life unfold. G came in today,and i met the owner and my boss came in,and sure enough,i was right,G tried asking my boss to something,and she seemed busy and he seemed flirty to her,and then later she said she probably won't be here next week,which makes me wonder if it's because of him and that's why she had been missing. perhaps avoiding him,and spending her time at the other studio instead. I felt insecure and like a little nerd as I colored in my coloring book with him talking to her,then him commenting on my coloring book. He said something that was friendly or could've been flirty when he first walked in to me and definitely thoughtful,but regardless my boss is obviously his first choice and she has confidence and competancy whereas i come off shy and awkward and childish.i am grateful for letting this all unfold though,because even today felt like it happened for me. and,it was good seeing my boss again. she is the only one who noticed i cut my hair without me saying something about it.
-inspiration
-having money in my account
-M giving me a ride to work
-M saying she will put money in my account for me soon
-doing my skip soda day today and feeling like by next week i can probably handle skipping 3 days a week.
-entertainment
-my eyeglasses
-walking around the city for half an hour after work
-pillows
-ginger candies
-rose oil in my diffuser
-trusting life
-water
-stretches
-naps
-biscuits i got today
-my phone
-deep cleansing breaths
-makeup

[buttercup]

-movies
-sertraline
-getting myself a cheeseless pizza and having a soda with it
-stretches
-getting the room cleaned and how much that boosted my mood
-rest
-naps
-knowing what i want
-cupcakes
-spending some time with the light gray kitten and bringing her in the house and cleaning up her eyes and cuddling with her
-my phone
-getting some cute pics of the kitten
-having a nice sized chest
-rose hip oil
-kindness and how that gives meaning to my life
-that i get to work tomorrow
-the money in my account
-my beauty
-how great my eyebrows look
-getting my promo materials and business cards in the mail yesterday and how amazing they look
-having hard seltzer last night and how good it was
-new bowls for the cats from leftover promo materials from other work i do
-the internet
-my job yesterday
-how much calmer and capable i've become of doing things i used to get a lot more anxious about before
-nightskies
-laughing
-water
-feeling secure
-feeling abundant
-my diffuser
-hope and things that cheer me up
-my poise

[buttercup]

-essential oils
-sunshine
-my strength
-being able to work today
-yoga pants
-being more confident and competant at things that used to cause me much more anxiety
-being smart
-my phone
-eyeliner
-soda
-water
-stretches
-cake pops
-macarons
-the cat family that comes to the yard
-kindness
-ordering 3 books last night so i'll be stocked up for a bit on things to read
-having a crush,because i think it's good for me
-nightskies
-working in fashion
-updating my resume and applying for more jobs tonight
-coffee
-rest

[buttercup]

-beauty role models
-inspiration
-the diffuser in my room
-lavender
-being in a better mood today
-going for a bike ride to the doctor and how good it felt to move my body and get some sun
-soda
-getting off seroquel
-fashion
-yoga pants
-cupcakes
-vegan food
-getting more things organized
-getting work done
-cats
-deep cleansing breaths
-being able to see
-vitamins
-fun
-the internet
-my phone
-rosehip oil

[buttercup]

-uber
-an amazing uber price on my way to my plans tonight
-going out tonight and being social for the first time in months and how good that felt and how confidently i handled it
-the neon yellow top i wore which looked so chic
-cocktails and sangria
-essential oils
-the nightlight in my room
-pepsi
-water
-getting the kitten in the house today and applying more herbal eyewash to her eyes
-my eyeglasses
-cupcakes
-stretches
-that my anxiety does seem to have dramatically lessened since taking seroquel
-the internet
-meditating today
-trusting God's timing
-sending more emails for jobs
-trying out some new makeup today and loving how it worked
-getting my color deepening treatment in the mail today
-the nightlight in my room
-vitamins
-my new boots i wore today which looked so chic
-kindness
-surrender
-prayer
-adding more things to my intention/would like to manifest list after getting a feeling it'd be good to do
-having no work tomorrow

[buttercup]

-water
-healthy digestion
-doing a kind act which felt so good. we were able to get the little kitten and so we brought her to an animal hospital to get checked up that had good vibes and got her meds and during the trips got some help on what to do and ideas for the other cats and someone willing to even come and help plus enough medicine we can even use on the other new kitten. the doctor was great and only charged us for the meds since it was a rescue. the kitten was so well behaved. things like that bring meaning to my life.
-coffee
-pepsi
-food
-sunshine
-nightskies
-how cuddly the older of the mom cat's kid is that we call "wolfie." He loves cuddles and baby talk so much.
-the color deepening treatment having a great effect on my hair
-eye makeup
-feeling so much more calmer and anxiety free lately
-stretches
-being beautiful
-the internet
-laughing
-naps
-grapeseed oil which i've been using on my face
-inspiration
-forward movement
-vitamins
-headphones

[buttercup]

-life moments that make me go hmm and feel like winks from the universe or serendipity. Today,I either just felt like I wasn't going to see G today or had resistance towards it. I meditated and had great insights come to me. Then,my boss shows up even though she said she probably wouldn't be in today. I then after more time think,ok G isn't going to show up. Maybe my boss let him down and now he doesn't want to show up for awhile but then shortly after,he walks right in,only says hi to me,then goes over to her and they talk quietly for a few minutes. Couldn't make out what they were saying but it seemed as if they were clicking and maybe she actually did have interest in him. After all this time,if he still is coming to talk to her,there must be something she is giving him of interest or maybe they now hit it off and before she wasn't interested. I felt disappointed as it seems by now,me and him are on a hi/bye only talking with each other at this point. I try to let go and just tell myself the right one for me will be even better then i can imagine,etc,etc and to just stay open to newness. Even still,I was feeling a little grouchy and insecure at this point.After work,I go for a walk around the city as per my goals and knowing walking around will also help me feel better. i finally find the train station and a snack place I want to try which is great,and also by now feels blase to me,meeting this goal. As I'm almost back to work to be picked up,right as I cross the street G is there crossing to the other side. And,it was right after I had a thought about him,a superficial and petty one,and then I literally look up and see him and he says hi very friendly to me and I then say hi back and we keep walking. A small mundane moment,but it felt like something. Like the universe is trying to put him in my pathway. Oddly enough from an loa standpoint,a few times I had wondered if i'd ever see him walking around outside work in the city.And,so now manifested that. It was a cinematic moment,too. Me walking across the street downtown in the city and the sexy young business guy i have a crush on crossing my path and us greeting each other. As incredibly mundane as the moment was,it just felt like something to pay attention to. Not to mention,ever since he has reappeared a few weeks back,I now literally see him everytime I work which feels like something,too from the universe. I mean,I meet him,then don't see him for weeks,then he reappears and now I see him every time.
-pepsi
-water
-M asking me if i want anything from starbucks before she brought me to work and getting me cakepops and a mocha frap made vegan. i love them so much.
-M bringing me to work
-setraline
-key-lime slime twinkies. so good.
-rose oil
-the diffuser in my room
-loving what i do for work
-the fan in my room
-healthy digestion
-finishing my article today
-getting my let it go wooden block in the mail. funny,i ordered it last week when I was bummed about the G situation last week,and got it today after today's G situation
-meditation
-meditative insights
-laughing and comedy
-my phone
-kindness and empathy
-helping the little kitten with her eyes
-the cats that come to the yard
-working tomorrow
-finding the train station today that's closest to my work
-finding the place i want to try today by my work
-yoga
-grapeseed oil
-makeup
-being productive
-feeling relaxed
-push up bras
-G at the yoga studio
-sleep
-letting life unfold
-my phone
-cats

[buttercup]

-finally booking another job. got a notice i was unbooked today but told i'd get on another one instead and this time it'd be more days which is even better,and then all day i waited,and finally after doing some yin yoga and then playing with the cats,i got the confirmation. i can finally relax about money for the month.and things did work out even better when i just let it all play out.
-yin yoga
-working today
-being attractive
-pepsi
-my style
-key lime slime twinkies
-being productive
-the kitten we took to the vet the other day's eyes getting better
-getting my book the yoga of time travel in the mail today
-naps
-having pretty much no anxiety these days lately
-nightskies
-summer sounds
-grapeseed oil
-makeup
-my cheekbones

[buttercup]

-yin yoga
-vitamins
-water
-makeup
-cupcakes
-the diffuser in my room
-my ambition
-soda
-hard seltzer
-grapeseed oil
-the internet
-sending out more emails
-an agency being interested in meeting with me
-my phone
-the cats that come to the yard and how happy they make me
-my face looking nice and young
-laughing
-my beauty
-doing a little reading today
-nightskies
-inspiration
-being thin
-chlorophyll
-my kind heart
-meditation
-prayer
-doing a little visualizing today

[buttercup]

-S being nice to me in email when i felt really down and emailed him
-going to the pool today even though i felt really low
-M being very nice to me in text
-M buying me new jeans today and a lunch tote
-peanut butter cookies
-M buying me vegan pizza for dinner
-the beautiful night skies
-water
-sweaters
-relaxation
-yin yoga
-coming home and seeing 3 huge beautiful outdoor house/shelters for the cats. Easily,at least 3 cats can fit in each one. Apparently,M's husband seen they were only $5 a pop and couldn't pass up that deal and so got them. What an amazing manifestation. I've been wanting something like this for the cats!
-the smell of chlorine in swimming pools
-getting a surge of inspiration last night about career and where i want to focus more of my energies
-finding out info about the financial assistance i receive that was very reassuring
-yoga pants
-M giving me money to pay off rest of my bill balance tonight.-
-my mood improving

[buttercup]

-my eyeglasses
-getting my check today
-getting groceries today
-going for a bike ride today which is always so beneficial to me
-buying new dress pants tonight
-water
-naps
-macarons
-the cats that come to the yard
-how lovely the kitten we took to the vet's eyes now look
-stretches
-vegan burritos
-my ambition
-getting a new primary care provider
-sweets
-inspiration
-joining pinterest today and finding myself some inspiration
-beauty role models
-my beauty
-seeing the cats play and how cute and nice it is

[buttercup]

-getting in a really good sweat today taking a cycling class
-taking a yoga class today
-yoga pants
-pepsi
-M giving me money to take uber tomorrow
-M helping me figure out the bed sheets
-getting the crust out of the eye of the dark gray kitten
-feeling relaxed and mood boosted from good work out today
-night skies
-rosehip oil
-grapeseed oil
-good food
-rest
-setraline
-doing a little reading today
-article going up on business website
-my beauty
-pinterest and having fun playing on there
-M finding my keys when she helped me with bed
-my laptop
-newness
-music

[buttercup]

-that time of the month products
-movies
-grapeseed oil
-a great deal on uber today
-doing another anxiety challenge today and handling it very well
-makeup
-grapeseed oil
-trying new places i have wanted to try
-sweets
-having a great body
-having beautiful eyes
-affirmations
-working today
-pepsi
-water
-drinking a little more water today
-the cats that come to the yard
-doing some reading today
-my little work experiment of seeing what happens if show up on a different day then usual going well
-speaking my mind and not being passive after S being very rude to me
-seeing S start to get worried after I didn't respond to his email at first
-my beauty
-getting a cute picture of the kitten on my dresser with my stuff such as birthday card,prada bag,picture frame of loved one,meds,stuffed animal,etc and how cute it looked
-my phone
-having the house to myself for awhile tonight
-meditation
-prayer
-nice visualization session today
-kinda letting myself be grumpy,tired,and eating a little since i know i'm not going to let it last and it feels good to feel my feelings
-beauty role models
-nightskies
-the nightlight in my room
-feeling good
-getting a draft started on next article
-bringing my business cards to work and how good it looked to put them next to all the other business cards that is in the studio
-donating money to a favorite animal charity today
-having a model face

[buttercup]

-the heartwarming sight of seeing the two boy cat brothers laying together and licking each other
-getting acupuncture today
-how nice my boss at the yoga studio is
-taking a yoga class at the yoga studio today
-ice cold water
-how much more confident and anxiety free i have become
-ice cold pepsi
-comfortable clothes
-buying myself heart chakra spray i seen recently that looked interesting
-relaxation
-finishing the book i've been reading since may
not having to work tomorrow
-makeup
-my beauty and really appreciating my looks tonight
-beauty serendipity today of right after having an insecure thought about something on myself,opening up a magazine a few seconds later and seeing ad from a well known makeup company with a model with the same feature. It was incredible as it was so similar to me. and the ad had the words "individuality? I'm all for it." It was definitely serendipity. I love seeing the law of attraction at work in positive ways.Then later,on youtube seen another girl randomly pop up in a video i was watching with similar feature. I definitely feel like life is telling me to be confident in my looks and remember how much positive attention i've recieved because and for my unique looks. For some time,i've felt not as attractive and worried because of it wondering if all these years i've been far less attractive then i think
-M cleaning my room for me today while i was gone
-meditation
-prayer
-doing some visualizing today
-the compliments my boss gave me today in the morning
-nightskies
-getting a 2nd draft done on an article
-new experiences

[buttercup]

-getting the other baby kitten in the house to do his eyes and give him medicine. was so nice to get that done. he's so much more afraid then the other kitten.
-makeup inspiration
-ordering a pizza and a movie tonight which boosted my mood a little
-seeing the cat we call wolfie cuddling with one of the baby kitten's today. so cute and happy that the other kittens are helping "mother" the babies a little since mom cat has been refusing lately and grouchy.
-water
-pepsi
-naps
-seeing the cats take on the shelter we helped give them from the rain
-M buying me cakepops today
-newness
-music
-cupcakes
-my laptop
-sweaters
-yoga pants
-my beauty and really appreciating my looks today
-my cheekbones
-my style
-compliments

[buttercup]

-deciding to buy something online for the cats and seeing a good deal,but then price still ended up being pricy in the final so i thought should i hold off and find a better way to get it feeling frustrated,but then decided it's something i want to get,and it feels right,even if it means i'm spending more money,then suddenly, i looked down and seen i had a reward credit that made the price cheaper to pretty much what i thought it originally would've been the deal. it made me think the universe rewards deeds from the heart.
-movies
-pizza without cheese
-the cats that come to the yard
-sleep

[DarkChylde]

I really wanted to ask , have you noticed any changes in your life before and after keeping the changes?

I mean actual changes that manifested? are you keeping tabs on change and manifestation and it's relationship to the list?

[buttercup]

I really wanted to ask , have you noticed any changes in your life before and after keeping the changes?

I mean actual changes that manifested? are you keeping tabs on change and manifestation and it's relationship to the list?

Yes,I typically would journal that,however haven't journaled much the last months. There's been a lot of changes the last months. A lot of things that had been holding me back are gone. I've seen manifestation from focusing on gratitude and some of the things on my intention list. May was a very in the flow month. I had just had a huge painful time,and was just completely surrendered from it all and from that,May actually had a lot of ease and flow. Things manifested very easily,and life seemed to really be on my side. By June,though I started to ruminate on internal pain more,and that blocked the flow of my life a little bit more again.I haven't really paid much attention to the law of attraction as I used to,but maybe that's a good thing,and something I need a break from but often times little things will happen as if the universe whispering me to remember. I've just experienced so much pain that it's hard to love the law of attraction like i used to.

[buttercup]

been a painful and crazy,stressful few days.so tired of it.
-how beautiful the moon looks tonight
-nightskies
-getting in a good workout and how good it felt to sweat. the cycling class and yoga class i took tonight.
-M buying me starbucks treats then coming home and seeing her husband got me sweets i had asked for earlier.
-soda pop
-how wonderful it feels to see the kittens eyes healed. and,to see the darker gray kitten becoming a little less afraid of me.i actually picked him up just to pick him up and held him for a few seconds which was nice. I had faith his eyes would heal,even when it was hard. he was the first kitten i seen of the new litter. mom cat was out with her kids then i seen a cat that looked smaller then the others,and it was him just there on the bottom step.he looked very innocent,like he didn't know what he was doing there,but was just there because his siblings were there and mom brought him.he had a cute fuzzy look and we had tried the next day to fix his eyes and scared him so much that he became the most timid of the bunch. i am so glad and grateful his eyes look better. it brought me down so much to see his eyes not well and the fact that for awhile,we couldn't catch him at all because he was too scared of us so this is a very nice manifestation.he has such beautiful eyes!
-pinterest
-getting a job confirmed for september from agency i messed up with the other day which is nice. they have decided to give me another chanceand my financial goals are now met from that job i confirmed today.
-another person interested in giving me more work that wants to call me tomorrow and interview
-getting a lot of work interest today
-grapeseed oil making my face look nice and young
-getting my chemical peel rescheduled
-that it looks like i have some jobs for first career coming up now,too which is great
-that we met a woman who has offered to help us "trap" the cats so we can spay/neuter them. she already has the "traps" and volunteers at the nokill cageless shelter in my city regularly
-the diffuser in my room.i feel like it relaxes me.
--getting the pants i ordered in the mail and my heart chakra spray i ordered
-lavender.i feel like it really relaxes me.
-massage
-water
-getting more things organized last night

[buttercup]

-seeing G today. so dreamy he is. I was feeling frustrated today then thinking about him wondering if i'd see him again and how pointless it is liking him and that i should just let go and thinking about how i kind of was since two weeks ago or so,and in that moment was just letting go and then all of a sudden right smack after,i turned around and he walked in the room. letting go is soo so real,i've seen it time and again.he chatted with me a moment,and his hair had adorable slight bedhead.i have found myself to be quite infatuated with him even when i try to tell myself lately why.i try to rationalize he may be too soft for me but i don't really know him and maybe i need a softer guy. he's clearly not too soft in that he can take control and is very outgoing and has a great job. he just also seems to be extremely polite and like the sensitive type,but that could be just what i need.i've tried rationalizing if i'm naturally very drawn to him,as if it's uncontrollable or is this something i subconsciously intentionally did with my thoughts of just really wanting someone amazing to like again. but,he is exactly my freaking type. down to the brown eyes,the build,the height,the outgoing demeanor and the profession i was last currently attracted to and wanting a guy to be in.plus,little things like the comment he said that first time i met him understanding a science thing,and just how the universe seems to keep putting him in my face.
-finding the song that pops in my head when i see G sometimes. I had part of the song in my head cut couldn't figure out title but then after a little googling found it. "johnny angel."
-naps
-water
-soda
-catching up on emails
-beauty
-an amazing beauty role model i found who has an extremly similar feature to mine i've been insecure about and is goregeous
-grapeseed oil
-the internet
-getting another draft done on article i'm working on
-doing a little reading today
-doing a spontaneous journaling session after feeling randomly inspired to during reading and just letting the words pour out. they seemed partially cliche philosophical mumbo jumbo that was coming from my heart,but it felt good to let it out,and it was real. i've just been realizing also i have so much repressed anger i really need a healthy outlet to release and that the anger is like a blanket over apathy,as in it seems to prevent or cover up my apathy as in i hold the anger to cover it.
-realizing i have another check that should be coming any day
-my eyeglasses
-another job i applied to that came in my email that i had perfect availability for
-reminding myself during feeling sad/stressed/frustrated to ask myself what would make me feel better and from that feeling better.i can spend so much time thinking when loving myself and asking myself what single action can i take or make a decision to take to bring me resolve or closer to resolve and feeling better.
-how young my face has been looking
-my style
-makeup
-delicious biscuits i got today
-the beauty of the moon
-nightskies
-giving mom cat belly rubs
-music
-motivation
-pillows
-inspiration

[buttercup]

-music
-water
-socks
-yoga pants
-having sexy curves
-massage
-going to pilates even though i didn't want to because then at class,her friend D was there,and at the end,M suggested to her friend D that we go bike riding together. i have suspected he has a crush on me.he has a vibe and just acts sort of silly around me.he seemed very excited about the idea so now there is officially a way for us to hang out that has come about besides just seeing him at classes. he is a much older man,and it's quite strange but i do feel slightly drawn to him. i'm not sure if it's just because part of me is lonely and likes the attention,or if it's that side of me that likes the drama and controversy of it. i've never dated a much older man,and i'm not sure i would,but if it did happen to come to about,it'd be something to check off my list as something different.
-pizza without cheese
-M's husband driving me to work today and getting coffee on the way
-my job at the yoga studio. love it there.
-the new people i've met this year
-the diffuser in my room
-ideas
-my latest article i've been working on getting more formed today and being almost done now.
-seeing my last article posted and published and how good it is.i really like how i did that one. i love that feeling of pride in myself and accomplishment.
-when i feel attractive. sometimes,i wonder what if i'm really hideous and just don't know it,but then i seem to attract so many guys,even when my hair is unbrushed,no makeup on and lazy clothes or just being totally aloof so i must be more attractive then i realize.i get asked out and hit on constantly and in the most random of places and situations.
-pinterest
-the internet
-protein shake M made me tonight and deciding to add basil to it.

[buttercup]

yikes. been so crazy the last week or so with painful things.

-M taking me to the movies today and the movie being the best movie i've seen in the last few months
-going to a new restaurant i've never been to before. discovering new tea there that was so cute,and how good the potatoes were.
-nice,sunny weather
-beautiful pictures of the outside cats i've taken
-working today and being teamed up with a guy who actually ended up being very interesting and inspiring. he seemed to have had a rough life and works hard and spends every winter traveling which i found inspiring and he wants others to know if he can do it on minimum wage,anyone can do it.he just works really hard in summer,and takes winters off.i also inspired him by encouraging him about starting a blog. he seemed to have a lot of strengths such as being the type to take out his phone and write notes of inspiring ideas and whatnot which was cool since he seems like the bad boy type on the outside,yet seems so efficient and organized. he also admitted to being a loner and socially awkward which is me,too. i wasn't attracted to him really,and i dont think he was me,I just found him interesting as someone who could be a friend. i don't think he'd be my type besides that.
-trying a smoothie at whole foods for lunch today and getting to work at the pier with the person i was partnered with. we ended up actually getting along pretty well,even though inititally i thought maybe he didn't like me but he was very nice,and take control and we actually got along well,and seemed to inspire each other. we walked,and had lunch and hung out working. it was nice.
-feeling like i actually did a lot today which is nice.
-that M's friend D has my number now,too. She gave it to him earlier today,and i had texted him this afternoon.
-that M actually seemed to had taken my side during the arguments me and her husband had gotten into the last two days. she had talked to him yesterday and told him he needs to change how he is towards me. then today,he went psycho and got mad at me,and she took my side again and when he called her on the phone to try and get her to take his side,she told him she had talked to him about this and she told me she's surprised he was like this again since she had just talked to him yesterday. he ended up apologizing in his way to me tonight. she said that's big for him. she also confided that he's been in the hospital before his issues with his mind which now makes a lot of sense why he had suggested it to me before. it's because M's sister,and him had both spent time there so he doesn't think of it as a bad thing. M said he had confided in her before suicidal thoughts and about leaving her before and she even said on her honeymoon he bummed her out because she had ordered just a very expensive salad at a restaurant and he got mad at her and had told her she should order something more substantial and that she had wanted to explore more but he didn't really want to and that
s why ever since then she hasn't really traveled with him.
-detaching my mind mind from painful things i don't like
-self soothing negative monkey mind
-M putting $50 in my account since i'm very low on money until my next check
-a guy at my job today recognizing me from previous job we worked and chatting with me. he is nice,though he seems vibe-y like he might like me,but he is engaged to another girl i've worked with before.
-inspiration
-makeup
-my beauty
-my strength
-stretches
-coffee
-jelly donuts
-water
-nightskies
-hope
-getting some clarifying shampoo and vitamins i wanted from whole foods the other day

[buttercup]

-my headache being gone
-vitamins
-stretches
-beauty inspirations
-doing an amazing job that i'm very proud of myself for with an anxiety challenge. i'm becoming more and more competant and literally almost don't even my main anxiety issue even more.
-taking the uber to psychiatrist and how amazing it was to do that.i also literally had little to no fear doing it. how nice the uber driver was. he thought i was a student going to school and when i told him i've been out of school for awhile,said i look 18,which was so great.
-M picking me up from psychiatrist which was so great. i'm a firm believer that when you take chances for your growth,the universe rewards that.
-my mood picking up today.
-the psychiatrist fighting for me to get my meds approved and actually being nicer to me today and how nice it was to finally get my meds straightened out since that had been an issue for the last 2-3 weeks. i think all this and anxiety challenge played a part in my mood lifting.psychiatrist was happy with my progress.
-the nice sunny weather
-cats
-getting a check in the mail today
-grapeseed oil and how great it makes my skin look
-yoga pants
-my hips
-my thigh gap
-renting a movie tonight which was nice
-deciding to go ahead and buy the 2nd book psychiatrist had recommended since it's a topic on my mind,and first one ended up growing on me.
-quiet
-starting to feel sexual desire again which is something i've been trying to be aware of since for awhile i've felt apathy
-starting to crave cleaner eating again and eating less
-water
-meditation
-more work offers today
-getting good info about my bank account that i had been wondering about
-adding more money to my setaside savings

[buttercup]

gosh,i am so different from this time last year. life is so different from this time last year.i can hardly believe it. so,so freaking much has changed.
-my meds
-the nightlight in my room
-my difffuser
-movies
-music
-beauty products
-choosing to feel good
-cats
-nightskies
-sunshine
-depositing my check today
-peanut butter cookies
-how nice M's friend D has been to me
-pepsi
-water
-sleep
-new experiences
-positive transformation
-cute top on a shop i decided to order today that'd be perfect for me
-someone asking me to cover their shift again and saying yes since maybe there was a divine reason for it,and it's good for me to get in the habit of working more anyways and this week's not very busy for me.
-seeing the place i work at is offering rooftop yoga again and deciding to put that in my schedule for the week as well
-getting in a good workout today of cycling with weights and yoga.
-self forgiveness
-my strength
-compliments
-getting a lot of positive attention from guys
-M saying I'm the most flexible person in the class which i don't believe at all
-my stomach looking nice and flat and defined today
-beauty role models
-getting caught up on cleaning again
-new perspectives

[buttercup]

-feeling a little less sick
-water
-coca cola
-seeing G again today in another weird(slightly) way. It makes me wonder what connection is there. I was leaving work,and on my phone then look to the side and see him walking out. He didn't turn towards me but he may have seen me before he came out. I remember thinking as I walked out I wonder if he's over there(a certain spot on the first floor)and lo and behold just by that simple thought manifested seeing him(well,the back of him). After this,I was like that's it,I officially do not have a crush on him. This is crazy,he doesn't even come in regularly anymore.I had just been thinking earlier how things had played out like a story,a sequence then just seemed to become interfered. Then,boom,another random sighting of him. I was on my phone so if he did see me that could be another reason for not saying anything to me. And,he may have not seen me. whenever I think there's no way he could like me,and feel insecure,I just remember,there was one time where it was just me there,and he stopped,sat down and talked with me for a few minutes casually and DEFINITELY seemed to be flirting. But,I was so shy and awkward. Every time I start to forget about him,he reappears in such a subtle way that it reminds me of a movie and makes me go hmm. I mean,I don't see anyone ELSE I actually even work with ever outside the building or walking near there and already him TWICE now.
-rest
-friendly people who are nice
-gushers candy
-great uber deals
-doing more uber-ing today even two trips in a row not from home and becoming more and more competant and confident with getting around on my own. I can say with confidence I am growing as a person.
-seeing a sign at the spa that drew me to stop and look and then after seeing it,seeing it definitely had to be a sign of a manifestation I'd like to happen. It was an advertisement with the perfect quote to the manifestation and a symbol having to do with the manifestation that's very obvious.
-M's husband saying out of nowwhere he'll give me more money to help with paying for ubers.
-makeup
-stretches
-cuteness
-getting floor cleaned up in my room that had been a mess for like a week or longer now.
-putting more money in my setaside account
-cats
-lights being out and how relaxing it is
-lavender
-getting through the day(a hard one it was)
-appreciation
-confirming another job today which was so exciting. i have officially met and exceeded my september money goal which is assuring since soon i will have to make much higher goals and i need to know i can reach these little ones to believe i can reach the bigger ones.
-feeling younger and other people making me feel like i look younger then i am
-reflection

[buttercup]

-the nightlight in my room
-adorable pictures of the outside cats
-seeing my brother's cat today and how much that boosted my mood.
-emails from friends
-taking a yoga class tonight
-my eyeglasses
-catching up on sleep a little bit and feeling more well rested and just well today
-my dad giving me $20 today
-water
-coca cola
-M's husband bringing me jelly donuts this afternoon
-my stomach becoming flatter and my clothes looser
-M taking me to starbucks after class since she is going to be out of town for 9 days and thought it'd be a nice thing to do
-music
-intention setting
-letting go of things that hurt me
-grapeseed oil
-lavender
-the diffuser in my room
-beautiful night skies
-the beautiful feeling in the air
-having a lot of things coming up in my schedule
-feeling like my will is becoming stronger
-being a woman
-my venus dimples
-my beauty
-M making me a protein drink tonight
-getting a little work done in new business
-believing in myself a little more,accepting myself a little more
-becoming a little more motivated

[buttercup]

-music
-pinterest
-ashwagandha
-lavender
-water
-coca cola
-my strength
-style
-entertainment
-getting my thing i needed to figure out for next week figured out
-the kittens getting a little more confident around me
-getting a delicious black bean burger and sweet potatoe fries from place M told me about today. Was so good.
-having a job tomorrow for first career which will be nice and checks off a place i always wanted to go to.i notice the more i go out,and live life,the more things i wanted to do just naturally get checked off my list without effort,just pop into my reality.
-jelly donuts
-hot tea
-sleep
-naps
-beauty
-doing some driving today which really boosted my mood.at first,i didn't want to but did it anyways,and felt much better after.i did ok driving. it was a nice secluded hilly area.
-sunshine
-nightskies
-yoga
-my eyeglasses
-my diffuser
-meditating tonight
-my peacock eyepillow

[buttercup]

-music
-my job today and how amazing my hair looks now. very chic.
-checking out a new place and how nice it was
-new experiences and meeting new people. my hairstylist today had makeup on his eyebrows and mascara which was unique. i thought it looked really good. he was from south beach and also had vegan cookies he offered all of us.
-water
-trying cucumber water at my job today
-being inspired by my job today and having those feelings of being intimidated by all the other very pretty girls there again. I feel like it's good for me to have that feeling sometimes.
-stretches
-getting some more things cleaned up
-the vegan pizza i got today tasting good
-getting a new succulent plant that reminds me of the heart chakra
-good face moisturizers
-pinterest
-heels
-sleep
-coffee
-feeling accepted and self acceptance
-my eyeglasses
-beautiful views
-feeling calm in my mind

[buttercup]

-laughing
-neck stretches
-that D's trip is over in a day or so and all is well
-water
-getting a lot done today
-mom cat having her kittens tonight and being able to be there for her. it was a new experience for me to see,and it was beautiful.
-feeling like a '-----" (job from primary career) again
-sleep
-rest
-making another appt with therapist
-getting doctor appt made
-getting new agency signed and confirming a job already with them
-healthy digestion
-getting an email that a check is on it's way from a recent job
-that I have a ride to my interview tomorrow
-music
-style
-pinterest
-positive possibilities
-the internet
-doing some mirror affirmations this afternoon
-getting article completed
-catching up on emails today
-getting more things organized and how good that always feels
-massage
-face yoga
-how amazing my new hair color looks
-smiling
-being in a good mood

[buttercup]

-vanilla oil and how amazing it smells in the diffuser. it may be the best one yet.
-not getting too hurt over awful interviewer's rudeness and words today
-jelly donuts
-coffee
-that their trip is over
-having a really good few days and nice blessings
-M's husband putting $50 in my account
-beauty role models
-great makeup
-doing a little reading today and how good the book is getting
-music
-inspiration
-immersing myself in things i enjoy and want to become more part of
-drinking more water
-getting beauty product drawer cleaned and organized
-getting a lot done today
-having a job cancel and it then working out i ended up getting a job that pays more for the weekend which is even better
-style and fashion
-getting some canned food for the outdoor cats
-getting my purses cleaned out and organized last night
-heart chakra music
-my eyepillow
-meditation
-creativity
-feeling inspired to get a gift for M's brother who has been an inspiration to me before in the past and finding gift ideas
-M's friend D asking about a bike ride this week
-sunshine
-nightskies
-stretches

[buttercup]

-bike riding 12 miles today
-beautiful weather today. the breeze that says fall is near.
-good therapy session today
-water
-the diffuser in my room
-tea
-cute clothes,fashion,and style
-makeup and making my makeup look really good today
-getting some more organizing and cleaning done
-relaxation
-new ideas
-strong positive inner knowings
-rest
-forgiveness
-accomplishing another anxiety challenge today. getting myself to and back from something in a neighborhood where there was fear.
-sweaters
-my eyeglasses
-wanderlust

[buttercup]

-snacks
-my eyeglasses
-having the house to myself for a bit
-getting new charger for my laptop bought for me
-getting $50 put in my account yesterday
-meeting attractive people
-being attractive
-buying makeup today
-working the last two days and getting off very early
-being flirted with
-meeting people who inspire me
-neck stretches
-doing some reading today
-coffee
-a good meditation last night helping me realize why i'm here
-all the goals i've been accomplishing
-taking uber alone to and from a ghetto neighborhood
-getting over my fear of bad neighborhoods more and more which is huge since that big subconscious fear for the last few years
-finding out M may want to go shopping tomorrow
-getting to spend some extra time with my brother'scat by bringing him over since M is out of town and cat sitting. That was so nice.
-finding out my mom will take my brothers cat is she has to when it comes to time my dad moves which was so stress relieving to hear and is the perfect place really so he can be with his brother
-entertainment
-rose oil and how much i love it in my diffuser
-getting more money in my setaside account
-my amazing clinique mascara
-yoga pants
-chlorophyll
-deep cleansing breaths
-excitement for the autumn season

[buttercup]

-healthy digestion
-coffee
-sertraline
-M taking me shopping yesterday and to dinner
-the super adorable white dress i bought that's perfect for fall

[buttercup]

-M saying she will take me to california in december
-getting my favorite perfume yesterday which was an awesome manifestation
-avoiding D and R yesterday
-M getting me a whole foods which i wanted
-new conditioner with argan oil in it

[buttercup]

-M offering me to possibly go with her to a fitness seminar
-nightskies and how beautiful it was last night
-the outdoor cat family
-music
-makeup

[buttercup]

-essential oils
-having house to myself for a little while
-getting a free perfume with the other perfume i got
-art
-inspiration

[buttercup]

-the highlights in my hair
-feeling my feelings and trying to see life as an adventure
-pinterest
-models
-newness
-positive change

[buttercup]

-my mood being uplifted the last few days
-getting a good sleep the other night
-M getting me presents from her trip to california
-the internet
-stretches
-my neck tension being gone(now time to work on shoulders)

[buttercup]

-yoga
-water
-ice cubes
-chemical peels
-makeup
-my new clothes i got
-my new perfumes i got
-my new skincare set i bought on a whim and how good it felt to be able to buy a little bit of an expensive purchase on a whim
-getting my checks yesterday
-finding out today my other checks for jobs i just did are on their way
-dental floss
-getting a lot done in the last few days
-having a travel that looks to be in the works
-putting some more money in my setaside account
-buying chocolate covered strawberries with a nice note for a friend
-donating some money to a charity i like
-protein drinks M makes me
-buying cinnamon oil since fall is near and am in the mood for fall things
-getting in touch with some people to see how they're doing and securing an interview from it
-feeling much more fearless these days. it's literally like what's anxiety?
-my hair
-the internet
-feeling abundant
-confirming a job for december
-emailing R and texting with him. i suddenly, after hearing some things about a certain someone thought what the hell,life's a mess and is so filled with drama,it's like a movie if you really think about it and somehow we ended up texting for the first time in years which was weird. it felt like maybe an energy thing,like maybe it's sensed i'm "freer" in a certain sense.
-compliments
-nightskies
-the visual beauty of the moon
-drinking more water again lately
-my moods seeming to be more uplifted lately
-roasted red pepper hummus
-more job possibilities
-my eyeglasses
-tea
-my bed

[buttercup]

-birthday cake mini muffins
-sertraline
-light
-getting a little bit of sleep last night
-the house computer i'm able to use

[buttercup]

-music
-makeup
-chemical peels
-booking 3 more jobs yesterday
-that hours changed my dad is leaving for the better for my schedule

[buttercup]

-the outdoor cat family
-that i get to go to my favorite travel place in winter
-water and drinking more of it

[buttercup]

-getting a lot done lately
-getting my charger in the mail today and being able to use my computer
-music
-water
-good beauty products
-seeing my brother's cat again and getting all the knots out of his fur
-buying a toy for my brother's cat and waterless shampoo for one of the outdoor cats online
-having a great chest
-push up bras
-dental floss
-my inner knowing and inner confidence becoming stronger
-spiritual insights
-sleep
-stretches
-peacefulness
-confirming a lot of jobs today and september now being my most lucrative month since started living where i'm at now
-positive transformation
-positive possibilities
-happiness
-T calling me today

[buttercup]

-water and drinking more of it
-seeing my brother's cat again.i love him.
-not being penalized for canceling my job today
-M's husband giving me money today
-having almost enough in my set aside account to get what i've been saving up for
-my beauty
-makeup
-how much smoother and a little younger my skin looks since getting my chemical peel. so impressed
-the skincare kit from the medical spa i got
-my style
-yoga pants
-knee high socks
-my hair
-getting my cinnamon oil in the mail today
-my eyeglasss
-lip plumping lipgloss
-how much more confident and competant i've become
-yin yoga
-rest

[buttercup]

-going on a 16 mile bike ride today
-getting some sun and good exercise in
-chemical peels and how amazing my skin has been looking
-water and drinking more of it
-M making me a protein drink
-buying some cool gray nail polish online today
-coca cola
-yoga
-the 3 lb dumbbells and doing toning/strengthening work with them
-my beauty
-the outdoor cats
-doing some mirror affirmations today
-getting a lot of work done today
-sleep
-how great my internet and charger is working

[buttercup]

-music
-style
-my confidence increasing emojis
-getting coffee and donuts this morning
-getting a lot of calls for jobs today
-how smooth my skin has been looking
-feeling good
-chemical peels
-buying some socks i fell in love with last night online
-stretches
-sleep
-being straight up to R last night
-my beauty
-helping out mom cat when she had trouble this morning when she wanted to transport her babies to a higher spot
-tangerine whole foods lip balm
-my strength
-sunshine
-yoga pants
-that i get to see psychiatrist today
-how bright white my teeth are
-silence and healing
-healthy digestion
-water
-aloe vera gel
-my yoga mat
-sertraline
-how young my face is looking
-protein drinks

[buttercup]

-embracing change
-comfort
-emojis
-the diffuser in my room
-booking a lot of jobs today that will bring me a lot of money the next 2 months,and surpass any income i've made before
-water and drinking more of it

[buttercup]

-3 lb dumbells for increasing strength and tone
-stretches
-squats
-yoga
-feeling fine so far on new meds
-great beauty products

[buttercup]

-having good cereal with almond milk for breakfast
-sleep
-smiling
-cats
-sunshine
-buying myself a facial today
-getting a lot of phone calls done today
-being ready now to buy the thing i've been saving up for
-staying positive
-throat and third eye chakra music
-my financial abundance increasing

[buttercup]

-my computer and the internet
-doing some more organizing
-newness
-getting my check yesterday
-getting a lot of work done
-love
-relaxation
-pillows
-calmness
-inspiration

[buttercup]

-bananas and trying to add more fruit to my diet
-water and drinking more of it
-therapy
-being able to sleep again
-techno music
-getting work phone call done
-uber
-squats
-compliments
-how much younger my skin looks since getting chemical peel done
-buying myself a t-shirt from designer i like and a really cute scarf that is perfect for fall
-getting the waterless cat shampoo in the mail today
-booking a ton of jobs yesterday and having paid consistent work now until december
-mascara
-my eyecolor
-meditation
-doing some visualizing today and how relaxing it was
-getting my passport photo yesterday
-smiling
-seeing tons of cute things at great prices last night
-my skincare set i've been using which is excellent
-how soft my hair is lately
-confirming 2 jobs from first career yesterday,one being from a newer avenue for me which is cool
-getting materials accepted for work project 2 of 2nd career thing i do
-cats
-style
-comfort
-my style
-sweaters
-the fashion industry
-inspiration
-newness

[buttercup]

-hot guys
-water and drinking more of it
-bananas and trying to eat more fruit
-accomplishing my little anxiety challenge today
-taking a pilates class today
-seeing my boss today
-my beauty
-music
-fashion
-having nice cheekbones
-backbends
-squats
-sleep
-uber
-being present
-affirmations
-design
-being able to work tomorrow
-all the jobs i have lined up in all the different areas of career i do
-the internet
-the beautiful night skies and the beauty of the moon
-gratitude
-upbeat moods
-the lip plumper lip gloss i use
-painting my toenails a nice fall gray shade
-getting more material for 2nd project
-ashwagandha
-shopping
-buying myself some upscale vegan chocolates that have been on my vegan chocolate bucket list for awhile
-kindness
-M's husband being nicer to me lately
-dental floss
-ginger candy

[buttercup]

-going to the gym today and it boosting my mood
-motivation
-sleep
-working tomorrow
-how much younger my skin looks
-gaining more confidence
-stretches
-water
-my style
-makeup
-sweaters
-the newborn kittens and holding them
-stomach getting flatter
-arms getting toned
-throwing away and organizing some more things
-feeling relaxed
-the pizza i had for dinner. so good.
-trying a restaurant i've been wanting to try for awhile last night
-all the work i have coming up
-excitement
-going through old pics while organizing and seeing i was more attractive then i think,and had nice smooth,slim,tight legs,and nice lips and my teeth weren't so bad at all,cute even.
-getting event kit in the mail for upcoming jobs i have
-mocha fraps made with soymilk and no whipped cream
-getting great materials for project set to release soon
-my eyeglasses
-nightskies
-walking

[DarkChylde]

-going to the gym today and it boosting my mood
-motivation
-sleep
-working tomorrow
-how much younger my skin looks
-gaining more confidence
-stretches
-water
-my style
-makeup
-sweaters
-the newborn kittens and holding them
-stomach getting flatter
-arms getting toned
-throwing away and organizing some more things
-feeling relaxed
-the pizza i had for dinner. so good.
-trying a restaurant i've been wanting to try for awhile last night
-all the work i have coming up
-excitement
-going through old pics while organizing and seeing i was more attractive then i think,and had nice smooth,slim,tight legs,and nice lips and my teeth weren't so bad at all,cute even.
-getting event kit in the mail for upcoming jobs i have
-mocha fraps made with soymilk and no whipped cream
-getting great materials for project set to release soon
-my eyeglasses
-nightskies
-walking

I lost 10kg , it started off getting in shape for ballet but I stuck to it , my summer shirts fit better , I've lost weight around the belly area too - feels very good.

Here's to us ! Cheers! :toast:

[buttercup]

I lost 10kg , it started off getting in shape for ballet but I stuck to it , my summer shirts fit better , I've lost weight around the belly area too - feels very good.

Here's to us ! Cheers! :toast:

Congrats! I have found for my body type toning work is key for looking slim.

[buttercup]

-ginger pepsi
-working today
-guy i worked with last month that i clicked with but in a friendship way asking for my phone number. he has been on my mind from time to time. he is like the bad boy which i like and is nonconformist which i like but i don't think he is my type. i just like him as a friend. I found myself nervous for my job today knowing he'd be there. he was looking at me from time to time then came up to me and asked for my phone number. he said to pick my brain on things we talked about last time but i think maybe because he also wants to keep in touch. sometimes,there's just vibes. i then found my mood boosted after he asked for my phone number.i also like how he said he wants to pick my brain and was very casual about it,and then said put your phone number in. he has a very take control,dominant vibe. he was like that last time we worked together. he would say what we were going to do and what the plan was.i didn't mind because i have a submissive personality. even my therapist said if i have a personality disorder,that it would be overly compliant personality disorder. it's actually exciting he asked for my number i don't think i've ever given my number to someone in this career i've been doing,especially male. i like seeing i'm getting better at making friends and find i'm having more guys seem to be into me lately these days too doing this kind of work.
-my style
-feeling more attractive
-yoga pants
-water
-having no work tomorrow
-being able to go to the dentist tomorrow
-having enough money now in my set aside account for what i've been saving up for
-yoga
-hip stretches
-fashion
-being pretty
-getting a ride to work today
-meditating today and my mind seeming calmer today.
-the free alcohol from my job the other day and having a bottle of it
-my peacock eye pillow. i want to consider it my visualizing pillow.i love it for doing visualizing.
-doing visualizing and how relaxed it makes me
-how much money i'm about to be making for the next few months
-business contacts really wanting me to work for them
-relaxation
-how great my resume looks
-my drive and how amazing i feel i'm about to make these next few months. i'm ready to grow into a new level of things with money and career
-ashwagandha
-the delicious homemade random sandwich i made.i toasted whole wheat pita bread ripped in half. put smoked flavor tofurkey slices on it. then added mustard then roasted red pepper hummus. was very good.
-feeling good
-happiness
-being able to pick up the very frantic cat now,that is one of the kids of the mom cat. she's so cute. she has so much curiosity and is very playful but very jumpy when you try to pet her. she has very beautiful,kind eyes and is the most curious,playful of the bunch. She curls her head to the side and looks so doe-eyed when she does like bambi.
-M and her husband helping me so much
-the internet

[buttercup]

-starting to fall in love with my life again
-an old,one of my first crushes accepting my fb friend request. i don't know why he was on my mind but he was. this will be perfect to tell my therapist. she wanted me to write a letter i wouldn't send to some people,and well,instead i decided to add him on fb.
-realizing how much i feel like i can do,the freedom now that ex best friend is out of my life. that was partially why i added the crush. almost like anger/revenge towards ex-best friend and wanting to go back to my past in a sense,to a time before i even met ex-best friend. part of me wants to go and do all the things i feel like ex-best friend held me back from.i feel this surge of energy and clarity like i can just do so much more now. there was so much subconscious ways i held back because of him but he has been so awful to me in a way where it's as if he is dead to me,and that's what he wanted that i can literally just go back in time as if what would i do if i didn't have to consider him at all but was just free. and,it's actually really interesting.i literally have no reason not to do certain things. there is no longer a reason to feel guilty or anything.
-business partner telling me we have enough material to release our project
-pizza i had for dinner
-feeling very cared for. i had no food in the house and M arranged so we went all the way to whole foods on a random tuesday so i can get myself some groceries. she really has such a kind heart.
-the amazing workout i got today.i did cycling class then yoga class
-deep stretching
-my backbends getting deeper.
-getting a new dentist appt made since i overslept for the one i had today
-my style
-actually having really nice body lines.
-being very beautiful actually
-affirmations
-makeup
-donating more money to animal charity i like
-pumpkin spice latte i seen that i bought
-feeling like life has gotten spiced up a bit with the guy from work getting my number,and me randomly adding an old crush and him accepting. it's so weird. it got me thinking deep thoughts about time.
-seeing i'm one of the few people from my past when iwas in school that actually looks really great still,and has a lot of cool things going on. I am so grateful. It is so weird seeing people from way back then and their lives are just so different from mine. mediocre. the people i thought were really cool or beautiful,just aren't anymore. my old crush for example,if i seen him in person nowadays based on his fb,he wouldn't interest me. it feels weirdly cool...powerful even..for the the roles to have changed. for me to be the really cool one and interesting one.
-realizing i can start doing some work on my project i didn't want to consider before and that it wouldn't be a big deal.
-music
-that i get to california soon and will be a longer time then i have been there for in awhile. so excited
-all the money i am now earning
-my cute new calvin klein socks i got recently. very stylish and sexy they are.
-having a very nice lower body
-getting more things organized and shredding an old notebook. it was cathartic. i want to throw out my old journals. i have so many that take up so much space and i can barely read my writing anyways and have felt drawn to do it,as a spiritual thing even. the old notebook was just a planner with notes in it,but it was a start.
-the beautiful nightskies tonight
-sunshine
-smiling
-having a higher spiritual understanding then before
-a lot of things i'm wanting being manifested.

[buttercup]

-bananas
-water
-feeling good
-affirmations
-my mirror
-my eyeglasses
-having a nice chest
-almond milk
-being very pretty
-getting passport form filled out and finding out fees are less then i thought so i have money left over now
-music
-omegas vitamin supplement i started taking
-sertraline
-style
-snacks
-sleep
-meditation
-doing some reading today
-getting outside of the house for a bit today

[buttercup]

-bananas
-morrocan red clay
-green tea face scrub
-my new face wash i've been using
-the nightlight in my room
-solar plexus and thetas music playlist i'm listening to
-freedom
-the surge of excitement and freedom i felt realizing i am no longer held back by ex best friend and the freedom the pain of what he has done to me,gives me.
-that i get to go to my favorite place in december and how nice it will be to be out of town and that i get to be there for 10 days which will be a longer trip which gives me so much room to work with
-doing some reading today
-doing a job for primary career after the yoga studio
-ashwagandha
-water
-the diffuser in my room
-cats
-buying a train ticket by myself anxiety challenge and then going to a cafe for lunch and then ubering to my next job and how great it is that i'm growing,building,and overcoming my anxiety issue. eating that delicious lentil mediterrean soup tastes so good because of the freedom and the thrill of that,that it represents.
-my mind getting a little quieter,almost zoned out feeling at times. i actually like it,it's relaxing. i'm not sure what med i'm taking that is doing it.
-sleep
-excitement
-the possibilities
-getting a 2nd draft done on an article
-how great my skin has been looking and how young
-affirmations
-feeling relaxed and very tension free today
-becoming more and more independent and competant
-fashion
-fashion show videos
-art
-new life experiences

[buttercup]

-pumpkin brownies
-my confidence
-being able to promote things i can actually get behind and find interesting
-all the jobs i have lined up
-being able to travel to my favorite place this winter
-going to yoga class tonight
-having a really nice chest
-sleep
-my mind feeling quieter since starting zyprexa
-excitement
-the possibilities
-getting a ride to my job i was supposed to do
-being attractive
-how fascinating life is
-cats
-nightskies
-water
-seasonal things
-looking forward to the future
-how much younger my skin looks since the chemical peel i got.i feel like it's shaved a few years off my face. I am so grateful.
-passing the test to get the certification i needed and now having something new to put on my resume
-being paid attention to
-relaxation
-ginger candies

[buttercup]

-rest
-being done with work
-freedom
-working with products i support
-how amazing life is in taking care of us
-eating lunch and having wine with my lunch after my first job and how nice it was to do that
-doing my anxiety challenge of going from job 1 to 2 and carrying all the stuff i did and handling that
-my mind feeling quieter lately. i'm not sure which med causes it,but it's almost like a pleasant spaced out feeling.
-becoming more confident
-new goals and things i want
-all the awesome things i've manifested recently
-coffee
-how much money i'm earning lately and how amazing it is
-all the compliments i get
-my attractiveness
-putting more funds to my setaside account for my next thing i'm saving up for now that i got the other thing last week
-fashion
-the internet
-comfortable clothes
-my eyeglasses
-red wine
-good food
-my kindness
-inspiration
-the cute little newborn kittens exploring today
-nightskies
-being sent a table for work which is so nice
-seeing how life is always working out for me

[buttercup]

-healthy digestion
-my eyeglasses
-almond milk
-bananas
-chlorophyll
-solar plexus chakra and theta musics playlist
-finding perfect new songs to listen to
-getting my reporting done
-being done with work and no work tomorrow
-my mind feeling quieter and more mellow lately
-doing some mirror affirmations today
-style
-the whites of my eyes looking brighter
-selling a lot of product today at my jobs
-my cheekbones
-finding the pepsi ginger i really like at a store today and buying it
-ghee butter
-my favorite cozy,funky purple pants
-the new chic work pants i've been wearing lately
-beautiful nightskies and fresh air
-the cats that come to the yard and how much joy it brings me seeing the kitten who had the eye issue before being healed and happy now. He has such beautiful eyes and isn't very afraid of us anymore. there was even a time a week ago or so where he was curled up on the top step of the porch purring as i petted him.
-my skin looking so great lately and young
-cute socks
-appreciation
-really great articles i come across online
-coffee
-people who are easy to work with
-hip stretches
-water
-my strength
-feeling happy
-feeling relaxed
-my beauty

[buttercup]

-good food
-yoga
-chlorophyll
-naps
-getting more things organized
-the internet
-hope
-water
-one of the kittens returning
-ghee butter
-how bright my eyes are looking lately
-how smooth and young my skin is looking
-feeling like a new me
-doing some journal/reflection writing today

[buttercup]

-getting my colonic done with today
-good food
-getting a lot of reading done today
-feeling relaxed
-coffee

[buttercup]

-water
-watching some episodes of a TV show i like online
-my job at the yoga studio
-sleep
-kittens
-hope
-fashion
-yoga pants
-quiet
-doing some reflective writing today at the yoga studio
-sweets

[buttercup]

i get so lost and confused sometimes.i go back and forth with hating ex-best friend and thinking so low of him and wondering if he is a sociopath to feeling empathy and sad and guilty that i ruined him.i made him hate me so much that he lost all care for me. he would not care if i dropped dead. and,then other times,i think he did the most generous thing he could've ever done to me and made me hate him so i could accept the gift. today i learned his parents met up with him and he was actually alone. this made me feel kind of good. they were so shocked his girlfriend wasn't there. his parents have been pushing for me to be able to co-exist with him,and it seems the universe is popping him close to me from time to time as well with near misses or him seeing me or me seeing him or hearing his voice,that kind of thing.i think its more his manifestation then mine.
-deleting D's number. I kept thinking he liked me. I felt a pull towards him and he'd look at me like i'm magic. in his eyes,he seemed warm..concerned. but,he is just nice. it's better this way. what could've really happened anyways with him.
-being given more money today
-getting paid for working even though i couldn't do my job today at no fault of mine
-water
-my style
-fashion
-pinterest
-the delicious pizza slice i had today
-pepsi
-coffee
-my eyeglasses
-doing some practice driving today
-being so much more confident and fearless in ways then before. i feel like i'm not even me anymore.i can walk through a crowd like nothing whereas before,even if not in a state of anxiety,i was just thinking so much and so much more self conscious
-allowing myself to feel attraction and just have crushes again. maybe i'm really close to dating someone again. that would be nice.
-beautiful rain clouds.
-kittens
-how much younger my skin looks when i take my omega supplement.
-pinterest
-heart chakra and theta musics playlist
-my strength
-squats
-episodes of a TV show i like to watch online
-entertainment
-inspiration
-shopping
-whole foods
-happiness
-how freaking excited i am for trip to my favorite place this december and the length of time it is
-having a few jobs lined up for primary career which is so nice.i really want to make a comeback.i seen an old friend of mine doing big things,and it made me a little envious.
-finishing project 2 of second career thing i do which was nice.
-getting a 4rth draft done for article i'm working on
-cravings for a night out
-almond milk
-feeling content and confident
-my heart feeling open
-hip stretches
-having a model look
-adding more money to my setaside account
-doing some reading today
-seeing the beauty of life
-how nice it is to see old desires manifesting and on the path to manifesting. so nice.
-beauty
-hot guys
-seeing old pictures of my teeth,and how cute i think they look and attractive
-getting more things organized
-fun
-laughing
-the internet
-my phone
-deep cleansing breaths
-heels
-my beauty
-becoming more and more competant

[buttercup]

-reflection
-being able to work today
-my eyeglasses
-the vegan omega supplement i take
-my venus dimples
-going for a walk today
-going to the gym today and getting a little sweat in out of it
-the stairmaster
-beauty products
-my body starting to get sculpted again
-motivation
-getting another draft done for article i'm working on that may be a final draft
-happiness
-sleep
-the mom cat of the yard cats we take care of.i so appreciate her,and the connection i feel towards her
-my bed
-blankets
-pillows
-hot tea
-lattes
-good food
-vegan neopolitan icecream i found at whole foods that reminds me of a vegan version of a childhood favorite
-excitement in the air
-feeling attractive
-hip stretches
-deep cleansing breaths
-night skies
-fresh air
-kittens
-that my mom is ready to take my brother's cat as soon as this week as long as i can bring him
-things to look forward to
-fashion

[buttercup]

-getting in a good workout and sweat
-beautiful weather
-cats and cat hugs and cuddles
-getting a follow from a contact this morning
-sweaters
-sleep
-hot tea
-bananas
-coca cola
-getting a dentist appointment at original place i had started going to
-getting phone calls done today
-that my mom will take my brother's cat
-getting closer and closer to my goal of the next thing i am saving up for
-the internet
-seeing my check cleared for the first saving up goal i made
-stretches
-how young and smooth my face looks. i am so grateful for shaving off some years of my face. i look 18 again.
-cleaning my closet today
-that i make more money doing what i do now then i would at any "normal" job that some family expect of me. they don't get my world,and that hurts. i would also never meet anyone interesting at a job like that. i literally make what i'd make at jobs like that,but much quicker.i also have more freedom,and meet cool like-minded people. i am not opposed to working more,or even getting something more "normal" but the "normal jobs" they have in mind are so down there,that it's insulting with my experience,skills,and resume. If I wanted a "normal" job,I'd get something much higher then what they suggest as it is. I'm actually meeting and exceeding my financial goals,and am happy with life work-wise. I do have a plan,and am tracking my progress and making goals.
-free episodes of TV show i've been watching
-my eyeglasses
-almond milk
-water

[buttercup]

-water
-ice cubes
-EFT tapping
-affirmations
-meditation
-my peacock print eyepillow
-deciding to stop taking zyprexa
-all the things i feel like i can do now that i held back maybe on a subconscious level because of ex best friend or just held back the last few years in general such as dating tall guys,going to nyfw again,buying another high end designer item,and so much more.
-fashion
-buying myself a chanel lipgloss that just seemed perfect
-getting a ride to work today
-hot guys
-chivalry
-my attractiveness. all the time i wonder if i'm really ugly,but all the time i am hit on so i tell myself i can't be that bad looking and i'm probably very attractive.
-my new black dress pants i wore to work today
-heels
-buying some vegan halloween chocolates i wanted the other day
-doing another anxiety challenge the other day and feeling almost ready to take the train which will be the first time in 3 years. it'll be a huge step for me.
-dental floss
-peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
-all the abundance life has been offering me lately. the money section of my life is excelling so much right now.i had been affirming heavily for money and love for the last few years so maybe now is the time for the money manifestations to be kicking in and unfolding. it feels so nice.
-how nice it feels to go and do little things by myself and how much more confident and competant i'm becoming
-buying a beautiful and inspiring artwork from france i had been eyeing for some time. it makes me think of my loved one who had passed on playing in heaven
-TV episodes of a show i've been watching online
-deep cleansing breaths
-sleep
-kittens
-pictures
-books
-getting final draft finished on article i was working on
-doing a pilates class yesterday
-fitness motivation
-how nice and helpful everyone was at my job today
-seeing G at the yoga studio the other day. it definitely boosted my mood and made my day. such a small gesture but it also showed me how i can use my thought transference with him.i slightly forced myself to think of him while there just for a few seconds thinking along the lines of "wouldn't it be nice it he showed up today." and "maybe he'll show up today." and then sure enough,that manifested. i feel like i need to not give up and use things like this to show me the world is mine,and i can have what i want and things show up because it's my desires seeking me. They wouldn't even show up if it wasn't for them seeking me. There's a quote along the lines of "Before you are called,you are answered." Our desires are not a coincidence. I get the feeling now that he may think i wasn't interested that one time he chatted with me. I don't have that ease of conversing and sunny personality like my boss.
-hot coffee

[DarkChylde]

-water
-ice cubes
-EFT tapping
-affirmations
-meditation
-my peacock print eyepillow
-deciding to stop taking zyprexa
-all the things i feel like i can do now that i held back maybe on a subconscious level because of ex best friend or just held back the last few years in general such as dating tall guys,going to nyfw again,buying another high end designer item,and so much more.
-fashion
-buying myself a chanel lipgloss that just seemed perfect
-getting a ride to work today
-hot guys
-chivalry
-...........


I took myself off of Zyprexa too , originally it's almost always given for schizophrenia , bi-polar disorder , generalized anxiety or panic , but I didn't quite fit into any of those ,( mine were spiritual symptoms) plus it made me feel "off" , it did you any good while you were on it?

[buttercup]

I took myself off of Zyprexa too , originally it's almost always given for schizophrenia , bi-polar disorder , generalized anxiety or panic , but I didn't quite fit into any of those ,( mine were spiritual symptoms) plus it made me feel "off" , it did you any good while you were on it?

nope. it had the least effect on me which is why i tried to be patient with it but then i found it was causing me to eat too much and everytime i would lay down for a bit,i would end up falling asleep quick causing me to miss appointments. It was prescribed to me to help with my paranoia but i just can't help but think antipsychotics are not for me and they should try another class of drugs to help with my anxiety/paranoia symptoms. So,i'm tapering off this now,and hoping the next one she tries is better. I also felt like I had trouble forming thoughts,as if i was stoned while on it. It just made my brain feel almost like..dumb. I would like a medicine for my anxiety so i am hoping to find something because i'm doing a lot of things that normally cause me anxiety so would like something to help me conquer those challenges. Seroquel so far has been the least bad. I went off that because it made me too tired,and kind of depressed and angry but i felt fearless on it. I've been feeling my anxiety slowly creep up on me again even with zyprexa so honestly,for me it's useless. I had tried risperidone as well but it made my heart go nuts,and abilify but that made me too hyper and i couldn't sleep on it.

[buttercup]

-that my mom will take my brother's cat
-working today
-finding hyaluronic acid in the fridge which is a key antiaging ingredient i've learned recently.
-how freaking amazing and young my face looked today. ever since my first chemical peel,hyaluronic acid,vegan omega supplement,and almond milk added to my diet my face has dropped years. It's amazing. I look the way i did when i felt younger and was just starting to experience really awesome things in my life.
-tv show episodes online i've been watching
-doing some remote influence practice today.
-my eyeglasses
-my style
-enjoying freedom
-whole foods shopping store
-desire
-hope
-a delicious glass of wine during lunch today
-becoming more confident,competant and capable while doing things alone
-sleep
-hot lattes
-having a hot latte made for me this morning
-taking shots with the people at the store i worked at yesterday. that was kind of nice.
-my beauty
-seeing the pet gate i have to get is not that expensive
-water
-hearing that ex best friend has been spending a little time alone and alone with his parents,which actually feels good to hear for some reason.
-the new hair barrete i wore today
-heels
-being told i have child-like demeanor and mannerisms
-T the little kitten. he is so sweet and nice to hold
-how beautiful my city looks at night

[buttercup]

-my eyeglasses
-earning money
-solutions
-music
-art

[buttercup]

-naps
-sleep
-water
-coffee
-hyaluronic acid
-vegan omegas
-how amazing my skin has been looking
-doing some more remote influence practice today and how helpful it was
-EFT helping me a bit
-coca cola
-sertraline
-hip stretches
-getting my reporting done with
-compliments
-seeing more and more my little unique "flaw" in wide range of people and places and how cool it is and how good it makes me feel and affirming
-healthy digestion
-my beauty
-how amazing and striking and vivid my eyecolor looked the other night. it was almost shocking looking in the mirror and seeing it. it was as if my eyecolor shifted
-having great cheekbones
-inspiration and little reminders of how to be happy,manifest,and memories
-sunshine
-having a day off work tomorrow
-my kind heart
-quiet
-style
-legwarmers
-happiness
-solutions
-earning money
-surrender
-music
-art
-smiling
-calmness
-the positive transformation i've been undergoing
-feeling my feelings
-expressing my feelings

[buttercup]

-feeling better today
-sleep
-water
-going to a yoga class today
-spending some time sitting in the grass basking in the sun and how good that felt
-getting a latte today
-peanut butter and orange marmalade sandwiches
-lunch
-my new chanel lipgloss
-how beautiful my skin looks
--hyaluronic acid and vegan omegas
-umcka
-TV show episodes online i've been watching
-freedom
-my trip i'm taking in december,and how freaking excited i am for it. it's so nice life giving me what i want after feeling stuck for so long,then all the suffering
-reflections on R from back 13,14 years ago..i met him in the month of march. it all started recently with a prompt from my therapist about an assignment with him coming to mind,but i didn't really think much about him at all,then later while bored,i thought about him a bit,and lurked him on facebook. again,not unusual. i do this when bored. then,i had a random curiosity to add him. this was partially revenge and desire to savor my freedom.since then i've found myself thinking a lot about him,and myself back then,and those experiences we had. i am wondering if this was not a coincidence. after all,he was the guy i had liked right before i met ex best friend. if ex best friend and i had never met,would more have happened between me and R at some point? I can't help but think is a good chance that yes it's possible. the rift between my female best friend would've never happened,and it's more then likely i would've seen him again eventually. But,when i met ex best friend,all that changed. If ex best friend and i had broken up sooner,and left each other's lives,would me and R have encountered each other eventually and there been a reconciliation. The point is R,leaves off where I was before I met ex-best friend. And I can't help but wonder if my thoughts aren't random but perhaps,it's serendipity that i added him and now have been thinking about him. Maybe there's something i'm meant to heal. Meant to finish.
-dental floss
-being about 1/3 of the way there towards an item i'm saving up fot
-great uber deals
-finding an old branded tablecloth to give to the outdoor cats
-my beauty
-going to starbucks for a bit today
-fashion
-nightskies
-how happy it makes me to see the other new kitten's eyes all healed up and how beautiful she looks and her being so full of energy.
-comfort
-laughing
-learning

[buttercup]

-coca cola
-finally ordering myself nice bedsheets in a chic gray color so i can finally get rid of the eyesore yellow sheetset in my bed
-going to the movies today
-getting a much needed long awaited apology from L today. laughing in the morning at his text and the chemistry that's still there despite me not being able to be with him. It was a surprise. I thought i'd never hear from him again.
-T the tiny little kitten and how adorable he is. i love how playful and curious he is.
-music
-beautiful night skies and the breeze
-getting my brother's cat transported to my mom and knowing he is in good hands and in a better place now and able to be reunited with his brother cat.
-being complimented today by neighbor downstairs at my dad's apartment and told i'm very pretty.
-buying myself a white vanilla raspberry cake from whole foods since the cakes always look so pretty and I wanted one for a bit now
-sleep
-social media approval and support
-becoming more confident in some ways
-uber
-hot coffee
-mango blackberry tea lemondade
-M putting more money in my account for ubers
-being closer to my goal of what i've been putting my setaside money for. i'm about a third of the way there. i love that this is helping me learn to save money and since i'm going back to the basics and learning,I think thats great for me now.
-goals
-how freaking excited i am for my trip to california this winter
-hip stretches
-working today
-that i get to go to the gym for free and am going to start going at last 4 times a week now
-new possibilities

[buttercup]

-L apologizing. I don't know what possessed him to do so,and he is perplexing to me,but i'm glad he did.i'm also glad i came clean about some things now that ex-best friend is out of the picture and it feels easier to do so.
-the beautiful nightskies
-the breeze
-sunshine
-the little kittens and the cats in the yard. they make me so happy.
-water
-coca cola
-great uber rates
-going to the gym and getting a great workout in and seeing some results today from working out as well. getting in a little bit of a sweat.
-yoga pants
-how great my lower body looks
-how feminine my legs are
-music
-being more then half way close to my goal of what i am currently saving up for
-throwing away a momento from ex best friend and bringing in the trunk in my room to start going through it finally. it was cathartic and is time.i won't throw away every momento but i finally feel at a place to throw away some.
-how amazingly young my face looks lately ever since starting chemical peels and certain supplements.i literally look a new person. i love it.
-hyaluronic acid
-vegan omega acid supplement
-chemical peels
-M wanting to stop at a store near the gym and insisting on me picking out a few things. she is addicted to shopping. it literally fills her to buy things for others. she is constantly buying things for her dance instructor such as chocolates,cakes,vitamins,and now today even socks she picked out for him. I picked out a buddha statue,some leg warmers,and agreed to a garbage can for my room that she really thought i should have.
-my hair barrette
-sleep
-orange marmalade
-my peacock eyepillow
-finally doing some meditation again,and sure enough it helped lift me out of my funk
-quiet
-making some calls and getting in a 2nd opinion appointment for tomorrow morning.
-laughing
-being confident enough to do more things on my own that i couldn't do before
-that the psychiatrist has agreed to try me out on propranolol in 3 weeks once she gets back from vacation that way i have time to see how a med she put me back on works first so i'm not trying a new one at the same time.
-getting a text from a friend today
-becoming more confident

[buttercup]

-water
-coca cola
-music
-getting in a good workout today and seeing results starting to come in from all the fitness
-my hair barrette
-being considered attractive
-L apologizing. Despite how annoyingly perplexing he is,it is something very healing for me for him to do that
-healthy digestion
-doing a little reading today
-M's husband picking me up from dentist and bringing me jelly donuts and my almond milk latte i like
-kittens and how adorable they are.i love watching them play everyday. the two babies wrestle and play and then cuddle with each other. so cute.
-the internet
-putting more money in my setaside account
-getting my check today
-buying myself some cool neon yellow knee high socks
-great deals. it seems i keep manifesting more and more amazing deals coming into my life.
-watching some TV episode of a show online today
-how awesome this thanksgiving will be and christmas with my new life situation
-sunshine
-sweaters
-finding a root canal IS covered by my insurance
-mouthwash
-finding M can bring me on thursday to my job since her thing she was supposed to do had to get rescheduled. life is always working out for me.
-seroquel. since so far it seems to be the best med to quiet my mind and anxiety. just need to make sure not to take more then my prescribed dose otherwise i end up not feeling well.
-getting my purse cleaned out
-being able to get a pet bed and canned cat food for the cats since i had to purchase something for a job i did today
-sleep

[buttercup]

-getting the kittens back
-seeing the dad cat checking up on the kittens tonight
-getting the cat family(except dad)all taken to get spayed/neutered and some vaccinations. it was perfect. the cat who hasn't been coming around as much even came at the end and ended up in the trap.i felt so bad doing it,but i knew it was for a good cause and kept trying to baby talk to them through it.i will try to spoil them when they get back. it was good to see all the regulars who come to the yard taken together as a family. it was very hard to go through and i've been just a little anxious since they left.i felt some relief when the kittens came back.
-creating some warmth for the kittens
-giving dad cat some food since he was around tonight
-that i might have a ride to work tomorrow
-whole foods truffles
-my eyeglasses
-getting a third draft done on an article
-letting go of my ego with a work thing that bothered me
-finishing up the finance book i've been reading
-meeting my goal of going to the gym at least 4 times this week
-going to whole foods last night
-blankets
-quiet
-my beauty
-great uber deals
-TV show episodes of a show i like on hulu
-my style
-leg warmers
-nightskies
-sleep
-reassurances
-relaxation

[buttercup]

-being able to connect with M and things going pretty smooth with her husband being out of town(he usually helps us out a lot).
-water
-healthy digestion
-dental tip from dentist i've been implementing of brushing my teeth more softly
-coca cola
-M buying me a chile mocha hot coffee drink veganized that was so good
-doing my job today and getting a ride there and picked up
-heels
-creative ideas
-the smell of incense
-warmed up sweets
-my cats coming back. made my day. and they didn't seem too mad at me. two of them kept a distance a bit,but were there later. so grateful they are spayed/neutered,microchipped,had checkup,etc. And,the lady who volunteers and transported them gave me a ton of dry and wet cat food and said next week she will bring some outdoor winter cat houses. i am so grateful. my life just keeps becoming more and more abundant and prosperous.
-smiling
-M wanting to walk around the mall after my job
-warm spots outside for the cats
-sweaters
-leg warmers
-getting more ex best friend stuff thrown away and how cathartic it is.i just keep reminding myself that he probably has NOTHING of me anymore and that this is a new start.
-my kind heart
-dental floss
-watching another TV episode online
-getting praise for my latest published article
-my upcoming trip this winter to california and how amazing it will be
-hope
-sweeping my floor today
-inspiration
-fashion
-coffee
-adding more money to my setaside account
-practice saving

[buttercup]

-being able to connect and bond with M the last few days
-hopefully maybe being there for her a little bit after the sad news of T passing on
-being done with work and no work tomorrow
-M putting money in my account saturday which made things work out perfectly with all the running around i had to do and then putting more in tonight
-M taking me to do my audits yesterday
-perfect timing with getting to M right at the same time as she arrived on saturday
-great uber rates
-chivalry
-that people think i'm cute
-allowing myself to ponder the R from my past connection. The R who was my first sexual experience. He is the one guy who if me and ex best friend never became a couple years ago,more may have happened with. I've been pondering if R could help me understand the root of some things for me as well to heal.
-throwing away more stuff from ex best friend
-all my outdoor cats. they bring me so much happiness
-putting more money aside to my setaside account and being really close to my savings goal
-going to the movies with M tonight
-that I should probably get a check or two tomorrow
-grapeseed oil
-vegan omegas,hyaluronic acid,and calcium magnesium supplement i take
-stomach starting to get a little flatter
-water
-giving up cereal
-getting all my reporting done
-clean teeth
-fashion
-watching TV episodes of show i like tonight on hulu
-laughing
-sunshine and the weather getting a little warmer
-W cat liking his little cat bed i bought for him recently.i bought it with him in mind and sure enough,he often uses it!
-sleep
-chile mocha latte veganized
-my awesome amazing trip coming up soon
-that R,ex best friend's gf has been leaving my mind more and more
-seroquel since it does help with paranoia and anxiety and causes no weight gain
-relaxation
-sweets
-that i can hit the gym tomorrow and catch up on phone calls
-my kind heart
-finding my folding table that went missing for a day
-seeing the law of attraction at work with certain past things such as my first sexual experience with R. There was a favorite movie at the time that I watched all the time. And,I just realized one thing that made me think back then that we "connected" is that he loved the movie,too. As it turns out,that experience ended up mirroring quite similarly movie parts of that. This only just hit me recently and kinda gives me understanding on how i manifested it. Life can feel so real,but law of attraction is always at work.

[buttercup]

-getting my gray sheetset in the mail
-throwing out trunk that was where time capsule stuff of ex best friend was
-sleep
-cleaning my room
-rest
-going to the dentist tomorrow and hopefully getting 2nd molar finally taken care of
-meditating
-doing some journaling and reflection on goals
-M being nice to me
-adding more money to my setaside account
-entertainment
-watching some episodes of TV show i like on hulu and just sort of vegging out today
-buddha statues
-the diffuser in my room and burning cinnamon today
-sugar. because it boosts my mood
-warmth
-hot coffee

[buttercup]

-grapeseed oil
-buying the thing i was saving up for today and starting a sub account for saving
-getting 2 of my checks today
-delicious warm lattes
-getting some beds for the cats and blankets today
-fashion
-my style
-lemon flavoring
-my leopard print cardigan
-my awesome new bedset
-rest
-seroquel
-episodes of TV show i like
-saving little T. I heard meowing and couldn't find where it was coming from and then finally i went to other side of house and found him meowing for help. apparently he was by himself and got seperated the other cats and that scared him. so cute,but i do worry about him.
-bringing S kitten and P cat in the house for a bit.
-going to therapy today
-doing mirror affirmations today

[buttercup]

-sleep
-toenail clippers
-dental floss
-meeting new people this year
-my style
-my leopard print cardigan
-yoga pants
-guys to like. seen M today. he iniated talking with me and seemed to be paying a lot of attention to me and his body language every time he was near me was very towards me and near me.i was a little less shy but also sort of spacey from meds. he never did call me though or text after the time before we worked together and he had asked for my number. I admitted to myself today that I do feel attraction to him. at first sight,i'm always like he's not attractive at all,but then shortly on,i'm thinking about him and thinking he is sexy. it's so weird. he had his hair styled nicely today.so far,i seem to see him once a month since we met. wonder if that pattern will repeat. maybe he'll text tomorrow since he just seen me.one thing i am trying to do now is to let go of expectations in my mind and just sort of surrender control and allow the universe to arrange things for me in a way that will be perfect. it's so much more fun that way.
-a photographer on the street snapping my picture while at working today.i was embarrassed but it was flattering
-the weather warming up a little bit
-little T the kitten. he makes me so happy.
-buying a heating pad online today for the cats and the great deal it was and free shipping
-fashion
-goals
-smiling
-animals
-going to yoga class tonight
-getting my chile mocha drink i love tonight
-being on time for work today
-a girl at work today giving me a lipbalm(she had several samples) when i had just happened to forget mine
-coffee
-my kind heart
-entertainment
-laughing
-TV episodes online on hulu i've been watching
-chemistry
-coca cola
-my weight starting to go down a little bit
-hope
-how beautiful my eyes are
-being attractive
-my chanel lipgloss
-my new bedset
-having money

[buttercup]

-that time of the month products
-sleep
-grapeseed oil
-having dental insurance
-my weight going down
-hot guys
-getting my sunglasses in the mail today
-new life experiences
-learning
-my outdoor cats
-the heating pad M's husband found working and the cats seeming to like it
-the weather being nicer today
-having a ride to work today
-buying myself a new shirt today i've been wanting for awhile
-having a little bit of alcohol today
-having the house to myself for a bit today which was rejuvenating
-entertainment
-comedy
-laughing
-the look guys often give me that makes me feel attractive
-seeing the thing on R's fb wasn't a negative thing like i thought,but actually a positive animal thing
-things that ease my jealousies
-coffee
-sweets
-buddha statues
-my mom sending me pics of my brother's cat together with her cat and also her dog. that made my day.

[buttercup]

-bananas
-water
-sleep
-not having to work tomorrow
-deciding to yes get my wisdom teeth removed
-opening up a savings account
-having a moment,feeling of power come to me that was very positive earlier
-vitamins i take
-coffee
-buddha statues
-coca cola
-dental floss
-being attractive
-my outdoor cat family
-the heating pad for the cats we have so far
-hearing the weather should hit the 70's this week
-my kind heart
-goals
-reflection
-that there's a cycling class tomorrow
-my weight going down
-healthy digestion
-makeup
-getting some cleaning and organizing done
-heels

[buttercup]

-making the appointment to get my wisdom teeth removed
-dental floss
-chile mocha latte
-my weight going down
-my appetite shrinking
-TV show episodes on hulu i've been watching
-going to cycling class today
-how beautiful my face is
-style
-hair barrettes
-the weather getting a little warmer
-my outdoor cats and how happy they make me and introducing them to ghee tonight. they seemed to like it except surprisingly mom cat wasn't super into it
-nightskies
-hot guys
-connections with others
-hyaluronic acid
-feeling like my eyesight has possibly gotten a little better(perhaps from the hyaluronic acid)
-healthy digestion
-water
-sleep
-cleaning up my room a little
-being fashionable
-goals
-being smart
-confirming more jobs today
-reflection
-realizing today that maybe a reason i slept with someone i did from 2009 had to do with subconscious reasoning to prove something because that person's mother insulted my looks and i had insecurity my ex bf found her attractive because of lies he told me. i was reflecting on the drama of life and i know me sleeping with that person wasn't revenge on my ex. it just felt like something i had to do. and there was several reasons for it,none of it revenge but the above may have been part of it. he was ex's best friend,or childhood best friend really,and his friends mother had made me very insecure in the past. life's drama is fascinating and bizarre.
-laughing
-quiet
-finding a way to clear more storage on my phone to get some apps back on
-M's friend D contacting me today
-an acquaintance,C contacting me today
-lipbalms
-realizing one reason i do what i do for work,is for the people i meet.i was contemplating if i had a mediocre job that's less then what i am qualified for and more "normal" what it might be like and i'd never meet anybody. somehow,in some way,despite all the lags and needing to work on being more in the flow,i really do think following your bliss and what feels right leads you to things best for you. there may be a lot i need to work on,but there's some things i need to remember. it always ends up being the people i meet who inspire me and remind me of my path and why i do what i do. G reminds me why I love working downtown and at the yoga studio and of other things as well. Even M from the main work i do nowadays,has kind of reminded me of why i do that work.
-

[buttercup]

-donating more money to animal charity i like
-getting some checks today
-buying myself something on my list of things i had wanted to manifest for awhile today
-having a dream with R from my past in it. Makes me wonder...it was a good dream.
-fashion
-lipbalms
-my weight going down
-my body tightening up
-going to welfare and getting my food card problem worked out
-beautiful weather today. it felt like summer.
-sleep
-candy
-pronoia
-my outside cat family
-going to cycling class today then working out at the gym. felt good to get a good sweat in.
-the internet
-my appetite shrinking a little
-my strength
-watching TV episodes of show i like online
-goals
-socks
-manifestation of desires
-vitamins
-feeling my will getting a little stronger
-monkey mind mental chatter about D's gf leaving my mind quite a bit
-getting more things organized
-coffee
-positive changes and transformation

[buttercup]

-drinking more water today
-my weight going down a little bit
-starting to feel a little more confident about my body again
-my abs starting to get sculpted
-dental floss
-candy
-M going to whole foods today
-taking the train for the first time in 3 years today and overcoming that obstacle and anxiety challenge and taking the first step towards a newer me. sounds silly,but i literally feel like a new person now,
-sunny weather today
-my outdoor cat family
-fashion
-M putting money in my account today
-the instant coffee M bought me that looks good
-lavender
-getting a nice draft done today of article and being almost finished
-my job tomorrow,even though i've had some mental blockages with that kind of work,i know it's good and i just need to keep pushing through
-all the delicious,yummy things the universe has in store for me in the future
-getting better at saving and now having two envelopes i use for saving. one account for near future and another sub account for near future within the same account.
-the internet
-lipbalms
-all the new things i can do now that ex is out of my life
-sleep
-standing up for myself with stupid work thing a boss wanted me to do
-going to pilates class today
-quiet
-doing some reading today
-laughing
-watching TV episodes on hulu

[buttercup]

-lavender
-that all the stuff of ex best friend doing things that were our things only makes him more obsessed with me and not over me. today i seen another of our songs,one i gave him in our first month he now seems to have given to her. it's actually pretty twisted..
-M coming in and vaccuming my room
-M giving me money for uber
-chile mocha coffee drink

[buttercup]

-having money
-seeing purse i like back in stock at one store
-getting better at saving money
-TV episodes to watch on hulu
-work person somehow being very nice and understanding of me not making it
-coffee
-creativity
-ideas
-being smart
-my sexy curves
-my taste in things
-pinterest
-an excellent visulization today after yoga
-my peacock eye pillow
-going to kundalini yoga tonight
-great music
-meeting goals
-sunshine and enjoying some sun today
-my welfare food card fixed and reactivated today
-water
-lemon bars
-crown chakra and theta music
-quiet
-naps
-weight going down
-dental floss

[buttercup]

-fashion
-saving money and having fun with it.
-water
-getting excited about goals
-giving the cats some canned food tonight
-my creativity with getting my job done today
-the CPR being moved to ex best friend's gf house
-M's friend D hanging out with me and going for coffee. i now know i do not like him in that way nor do i feel anything from him either,which is kind of weird since i could've sworn i did the first few months i met him. luckily,i've been getting good at getting the signal from life of when to know to sort of mentally say no in my mind.
-putting money aside today
-nice weather today
-cuteness
-getting more confident and competant and doing things i feared before
-chile mocha coffee
-lots of desserts today,and coffee too actually
-rest
-laughing
-uber
-makeup
-my skin looking good today
-my weight going down and feeling more confident because of it
-my beauty
-lipgloss
-TV episodes i've been watching on hulu
-inspiration
-ideas
-meeting inspirational people
-my new bracelet i got

[buttercup]

-dental floss
-getting my wisdom teeth removed tomorrow
-nightlight in my room
-going to psychiatrist today
-TV episodes on hulu i watch
-saving money
-sleep
-my new stuffed animal pig
-coffee
-going to the gym today
-healthy digestion
-yoga
-my stomach getting nice and flat
-my style
-getting my skincare i ordered today
-that charity that helped my outdoor cats get fixed and vaccinated,has offered to take P cat from litter two to get checked up since she seems to have a little cold
-nice weather today
-sweaters
-healthy passion
-fashion
-pinterest
-water
-being kind hearted
-goals
-hope
-positive possibilities
-lavender
-tea
-doing more organizing today and cleaning
-hot guys

[buttercup]

-that the candidate i voted for won presidency. kind of exciting
-ghee
-lemon meringue pie
-getting my check today
-buying another heating pad for cat
-going to therapy today
-saving up money
-my beauty
-compliments
-my venus dimples
-coffee
-giving P cat and mom cat cans of tuna
-blankets
-sleep
-yoga pants
-another job offer i applied to today
-uber
-lavender
-hot tea
-TV episodes on hulu i have been watching
-friendly people
-hip stretches
-massage

[buttercup]

-reflection. to this day,one of the many heartbreaking things of what ex best friend did is that he used loa to get me out of his life. the irony that i was the one who taught him loa and sending energy and he used it at times to help me and i even encouraged him to practice it,and he used it to get me out of his life. it's very sad. and then i think about the pain of how unwanted he had made me feel for so long. i never really knew how much he hated me,though he tried for so long to show me. but all that we had been through and all that i had thought at the time he had done for me,made me believe of course he loved me a lot.
-the feeling that by the time i come back from my trip in december,i will be a new and different person.
-coffee
-lemon bars
-compliments
-managing all my jobs today
-finding out today my first job was twice as much money which was certainly a mood boost,especially since i've been feeling impatient with my savings goals.
-all the money i'm making this weekend
-the job offers today i got
-money issue from one company i worked with getting resolved
-blankets
-heels
-yoga pants
-my style
-my favorite leopard print sweater
-that the night started to get a little warmer
-taking the train again the other day which is huge for me
-TV episodes on hulu i've been watching
-style
-job offer from primary career that was good
-dental floss
-m putting money in my account today and yesterday
-my phone
-M's husband giving me an emergency phone charger which is a charger you use without an outlet.
-the skincare products i've been using
-lavender
-feeling in a nice mood for a moment while on the way to work today
-great alcoholic drinks
-trying new things
-stretches
-relaxation
-my meds i take
-my outdoor cats

[buttercup]

-giving the cats a litle cat feast and giving them the rest of the cat food cups and a little bit of ghee for the ones who wanted a lick of it. like a boss,mom cat had two cups by her. lol.
-weather feeling a little warmer
-water
-saving money
-naps
-working a lot
-handling two jobs a day the last two days in a row
-coffee
-lemon bars
-TV episodes on hulu
-lavender
-coca cola
-getting another pet heating pad in the mail
-my style
-my beauty
-the industries i work in
-seeing other inspiring people do what i do for work
-my favorite leopard print cardigan
-makeup
-weight going down. stomach being flatter.i feel so much more confident then when i was having those fat days from the olanzapine
-ghee butter
-serendipity.i can't stop believing loa is real and life is always speaking to us. during work,i was reflecting on the sadness of the betrayal from ex best friend,and one of our songs came on,and it's a random song,too that was very serendiptious with lyrics such as "miss you." I've been hearing this band every now and then lately since the betrayal.I also am always seeing things with the nickname he called me all the time since then. it's quite odd. it's almost subtle because ive not really been looking for it,almost repressing it,but there's definitely been some serendipity with this.i just don't know what it all means.
-seeing the light at the end of the tunnel in some ways with the year closing out and the busy holiday season when it ends,and then my trip and what will come in the new year.i'm sad everyday about life,and how messed up things have become but i try to see the adventure of it all.
-stretches
-relaxation

[buttercup]

seen ex best friend and gf today.i think they seen me before i seen them. luckily i was not more then 20 feet close to them and no words or eye contact was made. still,am getting tired of all the closecalls where they are near me. it seems they are often having instances where they see me or hear me. i can't help but think it's their manifestation because of that. almost all these occurences just feel like their manifestation the way they happen.i decided to see the good in it,and realize this is helpful for neutralizing my reaction to them for if i ever see them face to face again. after all,my intention is to treat them like they don't exist. not bitchy,but completely apathetic as if they aren't even there. dead eyes and all.
-glass of wine after my shift from work
-cheap liquor prices
-acknowledging my feelings to myself
-slowing down and allowing myself to feel more relaxed in the moment
-getting my reporting done for the last few days
-cute pictures
-laughing
-being smart
-makeup
-hot coffee
-chile mocha coffee
-lemon flavoring
-going to eat out with M and her husband
-laughing
-stretches
-my beauty
-my cheekbones
-my style
-my outdoor cats
-TV episodes on hulu
-sleep
-new perspectives
-going to the gym today
-hot guys
-my weight going down
-healthy digestion
-my stomach becoming flatter
-my venus dimples
-water
-saving money
-goals
-my upcoming trip next month
-that in about a week,week and a half,my money should finally be doing ok
-gaining motivation,meaning,and perspective again on life
-nightskies
-heating pads
-my kind heart
-inspiration
-my medications i'm on

[buttercup]

-getting my upper wisdom teeth removed and no pain whatsoever
-proving i am becoming more and more competant and capable at the little things before i could not do and building on that
-getting a check today and it being higher then i expected
-the weather getting warmer today
-the sunshine
-sodas
-having these cinnamon bagels heated and with vanilla ghee on top. so good.
-water
-saving money
-fashion
-beauty
-inspiration
-getting straw for the cats and a heated water bowl today
-sweaters
-naps
-leg warmers
-my stomach getting nice and flat
-my striking beauty
-healthy digestion
-having dental insurance
-getting more things organized
-coffee
-confirming another job today
-stretches
-TV episodes on hulu
-productive days
-feeling relaxed
-having no work tomorrow

[buttercup]

-drinking more water today
-M's husband adding to the cat house,looking up mylar and telling me he bought a cat house online
-getting in a good workout today
-how great it feels to sweat from a good workout
-sleep
-my style
-catching up on phone calls a little bit today
-vegan pizza
-weight going down
-soda
-coffee
-those cinnamon breads with vanilla ghee
-seeing T cat from first litter today under the tree in front of the house sleeping on the leaves. she was in a deep sleep and looked like a little bambi. it was a beautiful fight. after i seen her,and she awoke,she came up to me and i picked her up and she curled her head into my shoulders. it was so freaking sweet.
-amazing pictures i am able to get of the cats. got one of the T the kitten,H cat from 2nd litter,and T from first litter all cuddling together in the house we have for them
-saving money
-being almost complete with TWO savings goals i've been doing at a time. so exciting.
-TV episodes on hulu
-stretching
-makeup
-getting more things organized
-meditation
-my peacock eye pillow
-doing some visualization exercise and how good it felt
-slippers

[buttercup]

frustrated. waiting for M to go to sleep so i can sneak the kittens in. just want to get them in already and also to go to sleep. everything would go a lot smoother if she would just go to sleep already.
-cuddling with T kitten today. he slept with me in the morning and evening.
-ordering myself my first prada bag today. should get it just before thanksgiving. celebrating ex best friend being out of my life by getting it. this time last year,he was torturing me and psychologixally abusing me.i am so glad to be free from that and that this november has been so much more peaceful then last year's.
-how sculpted my body is becoming.
-water
-my meds
-getting the straw into the dog houses for the cats
-that the weather is supposed to be warmer tomorrow
-soda pop
-M buying me more cinnamon bagels today
-doing my mirror affirmations today
-makeup
-my beauty
-face stretches
-hip stretches
-TV episodes on hulu
-sleep
-motivation
-sunshine
-meditation
-optimism
-going to pilates class today
-lipbalm

[buttercup]

-ginger
-soda
-feeling like a weight's been lifted and just a little more relaxed the last day or two for some reason
-healthy digestion
-how exciting it is that my first prada bag is on it's way to me
-nice weather
-TV episodes on hulu
-buying some pet products sent to my mom
-getting medicine for the cats. they couldn't get their surgery because they are sick so they gave us medicine at no charge
-chile mocha coffee
-sleep
-going to pilates class today
-going for a walk after pilates class
-nightskies
-that i'm almost done with a round of jobs i've been doing for a client. i'll have to find new work asap and this was a nice consistent thing for awhile,but it'll be nice to have my sundays again and see what else is out there.
-sweets
-meeting cool people
-kind people
-taking the train again today and establishing it as a pattern of being normal for me
-fashion
-being excited for thanksgiving and M saying we are going shopping on thanksgiving
-M's husband giving me $20 today
-coffee
-doing some reading today
-art
-my medications i take
-getting draft done and sent to talent for review
-my job at the yoga studio
-positive possibilities
-reflection

[buttercup]

-ideas
-soda
-heating pads
-blankets
-sleep
-my calvin klein scarf
-my sense of style
-makeup
-giving the kittens and T cat from first litter their medicine
-laughing
-M's friend D and how funny he is and nice
-confirming another job today
-having a little bit of alcohol today
-going to the yoga class tonight
-coffee
-doing my job today
-TV episodes on hulu
-warm showers

[buttercup]

-ghee butter
-water
-my new prada bag
-getting my reporting done
-bringing the kittens in for a little bit today
-lavender
-soda pop
-M apologizing to me today
-ordering the gift i had planned on getting for M
-sending out more emails for jobs
-naps
-sleep
-my sparkly sweater from zara
-fashion
-coffee
-getting a ride to work
-doing some editing on an article
-lemon bars
-doing some follow ups on emails for first career
-TV episodes on hulu
-not having to work tomorrow
-stretches
-that the cat houses should be arriving any day now
-great deals
-free shipping
-cleaning my room and doing some more organizing
-my medications i'm taking
-ordering some yoga pants i've been wanting
-my weight going down
-my beauty
-cat hugs and cuddles
-straw
-laughing
-sweaters
-how much better my money is doing compared to this time last year
-goals
-getting the doghouse with straw moved to the downstairs level for the cats since it seems warmer there.

[buttercup]

-seeing T cat from first litter using one of the winter shelters the animal charity gave.i was so unsure of those ones,if they'd even use them and thought maybe if it's cold enough hopefully they then will and seen T walk out from it and i went to touch her and she was the warmest cat outside so it must be good.
-M making me a protein drink.
-soda pop
-water
-going to a fitness class today

[buttercup]

-seeing that everything is working out
-sleep
-TV episodes on hulu
-T kitten from 3rd litter coming in house and how funny he is
-great deals
-fashion
-things working out with follow ups and jobs during upcoming out of town trip
-my thigh gap
-motivation
-my medications
-smiling
-my cat slippers
-sweaters
-meditating today
-my desires
-my hair looking darker from shampoo i started using
-lipbalms
-stretches
-having such young and delicate features
-happiness
-how beautiful my eyes are

[buttercup]

-water
-T kitten. i feel a deep connection to the little guy,similar to the depth i felt when i first met his cat mom.
-that the cats are using the winter housing and feeling toasty in it.
-weather being a little nicer today
-getting in a good workout and sweating from it
-face and head massage that helped release a lot of tension
-stretches
-my buddha statue in my room
-my beautiful prada purse
-fashion
-M buying me more lemon bars
-going to the grocery store to pick up some food
-sleep
-my medications
-sweaters
-blankets
-coffee
-having a nice body
-my stomach getting flatter and more sculpted
-having healthy teeth
-healthy digestion
-having great cheekbones
-the job offers coming in for upcoming out of trip. so exciting.
-dental floss
-some good daydreaming today
-music
-interesting art
-soda pop
-tv episodes on hulu
-smiling
-laughing
-neck massage
-getting a saving account opened

[buttercup]

I have come to the conclusion that i am going to contact R from my past. I've been thinking about it for a few days now,contemplating the how and if i'm sure and it feels like something i have to do. whilst organizing my closet some more today,i came across journals i did not throw away yet. he may have been more important to me then i even realize. realizing good things i did not remember,and accepting the bitter parts,and getting a balanced perspective. he did like me,and i did do things to seem disinterested. i can see the blocks back then and reading through journals,i seen old patterns i still carry with me to this day.i found i had a picture of one of my first major crush's from the newspaper who had died back in h.s. i couldn't find anything on google the last years,it had been so long,but to see i had even saved his picture back then in my journal was interesting. even if my life was lonely and sad in parts back then,there was life and meaning and the feeling of aliveness. i wasn't as weird as i had thought.i was beautiful. And,R was dreamy and cool just ala the Trip character in the movie we both liked the virgin suicides. reading the journals gave me new affirmation,intrigue,and perspective. it must've just been that right time to go looking back to my past. It's been a hard and disappointing week or two but at least this is something to think about.
-realizing i'm done trying to compete with ex's gf R. I've been mad at M and after what's come about the last few days,i've been distant towards her,and skipping classes. she let me down and this proves things to me and i'm done now. it's time to focus on me,my wants,and finding my happiness. she brought me presents today as if that could make up for it. it was a blender,coffee maker,and sitting buddha statue.i thought i seen two books that looked as if they should be for me,but she hasn't given them to me yet.
-deciding i am going to iniate contact with R from my past within the next few weeks.
-contemplation and reflection
-my old journals
-cleaning out my closet and organizing
-soda pop
-hot coffee
-my outdoor cats
-cuteness
-my new sweater i've been wearing that i got last week
-my new winter boots i've been loving
-my new miu miu wallet that came today. it's beautiful.i think i enjoy my somewhat spontaneous purchases more then my more planned out ones.
-going to therapy today and to see psychiatrist. it's nice to allow myself to be "broken."
-having ideas about direction coming to me
-TV episodes on hulu
-giving M that gift i gave her over the weekend.it came out even better then i expected so am happy about that
-hearing M's sister asking M's husband how i was doing which was nice
-friendly people
-M's husband being nicer to me lately
-sleep
-creative dental solutions
-naps
-my mario badescu hyaluronic acid eye cream
-feeling my feelings
-the wisdom i've gained over the years
-water
-dental floss
-doing a little cosmic ordering on the cosmic ordering site
-stretches
-having a nice chest
-weather being warmer today
-straw
-the internet
-my phone
-positive changes
-new ideas

[buttercup]

-my medications
-water
-getting dentist appointment done even though again it didn't go as intended
-healthy digestion
-sleep
-art
-music
-creativity
-feeling back in the moment again of when i was 16 after reading old journals.i remember the feeling of aliveness again,and my roots and feel renewed.
-my plant-based logo t-shirt looking not too bad on me
-sweaters
-pizza without cheese
-hot coffee
-soda pop
-TV episodes on hulu
-taking some time to do some writing that was creative and partially practicing the message I will send to R from my past sometime next month
-interesting concepts
-the weather being nice and warm for this time of year
-T cat from first litter and how much she warms my heart. she is such a sweetie. she used to be the runt of them all and very panicky personality and wouldnt let you pet her,now she curls her head up in my shoulders when i pick her up
-nightskies and how soothing they are
-smiling
-cleaning out more of my closet tonight
-venting
-getting my check today
-stretches
-buying myself some fancy chocolates from bloomingdales that interested me
-my hyaluronic acid eye cream
-beauty
-inspiration
-fashion
-my sense of style
-feeling beautiful again
-goals
-my ambition
-not having work tomorrow
-relaxation
-getting confirmed for another 4 days of work from a client i've been working with one of the days replacing a day that got cancelled by another client so will meet my december minimal earning goals which is great
-getting the outdoor cats through the month of november
-being smart
-buying myself some cute ballet shoes i had been wanting
-warm showers

[buttercup]

another sad day. today,because work news coming about leading me to have make a business decision on 2nd career thing i do. i also felt spacey today,and apathetic and then cried in the evening.i feel so hopeless.and,have been having signs of eating disorder.
-R from my past. the one thing that makes me feel alive. he has been on my mind a lot lately. and,he seems more and more logical to be now.i feel like i'm back in the past,and it feels wonderful. the music,the way i felt,that young feeling,the feeling of being "cool," the crazy things me and our friends did like boys climbing in our windows,smoking weed,making out at the park,ditching school,etc.i did connect with him.i brushed it aside because of ex best friend that we didn't really connect but we did. my best friend at the time may have sabotaged me from him,too. she had been revealed later to be too-faced and spread lies,and in my own journal a friend once has said she's not as innocent as i think. she may have told lies about me or blocked me from seeing him on purpose. made him think i didn't like him,maybe. who knows. she did try and break me and ex best friend up and she did sleep with R knowing i liked him.
-my medications
-skipping a day without soda. wasn't hard either
-water
-hot coffee
-friendly people
-working today
-buying more lemon bars
-getting some editing done on article
-weather feeling warmer then it said it would be
-my outdoor cats
-pretty designer things
-ordering a beautiful designer jacket i had been eyeing last night
-sweaters
-my winter boots
-my phone
-getting a facial yesterday and a glass of red wine with it
-fashion
-naps
-dental floss
-getting a ride to and from work
-mom cat going in one of the cat houses we bought for her
-the amazing restorative yoga pose my boss put me in the other day
-compliments
-TV episodes on hulu
-my desires
-memories
-hope
-M's husband praying for me

[buttercup]

-music
-finding something amazing connected to R from my past that was emotionally moving for me in another old journal while organizing. i had asked for a sign and thought i didn't get it yet,but maybe i did.
-spending time looking people up from my past on facebook.i usually don't enjoy it as i don't care for anyone from back then,but this time i felt happy and intrigued by seeing how others were doing.
-R from my past. no matter what happens after i send him the message,he has become a muse for me now.i can now see why he was important to me,and why i was drawn to him. maybe all this is perfect timing and i'm meant to heal some things with him. and,i know now's the time,because we aren't getting any younger and it's already been so long.
-spending time writing out some things about R as possible things to use in a message to him down the line. once i send him the message,it'll be semi casual,but it feels important for me to jot down the other things as well.i really want to come clean in a relaxed,bold,yet casual i don't care kind of way. i've never made the first move on a guy before and had been thinking for some time lately that i want to as sort of a bucket list item for me,and he is that perfect person. he practically crept up on me in my mind and then couldn't leave it out of all the guys i had my eye on the last months.
-fashion
-my outdoor cats
-creative dental solutions
-my beauty
-getting some more done article i've been working on. it's now just about 99.99% finished and will be definitely releasing it next week.
-becoming more confident and competant
-rest
-cat hugs
-my chanel lipgloss
-taking some inspired action
-buying some dance classes the other day.
-my medications
-letting myself change
-water
-nonconformity and things unique
-my creativity
-coffee
-feeling better
-getting some organizing done
-my winter boots
-my venus dimples
-stretches
-laughing

[buttercup]

i just want to cry when i look at how much time has passed and how much older looking and settled,people i used to know now look. when did i become so old? so many things still like just yesterday,like i was still young. everything felt so unique then,and there was such a feeling of invincibility.
-feeling confident
-getting my note sent to R from my past
-remembering excitement again
-my chanel lip gloss
-my closet transforming to my dream wardrobe
-rest
-finishing my job today
-TV episodes on hulu
-getting a quote for enamel contouring from a dentist
-my style
-my beauty
-my computer
-my outside cats
-laughing
-weather not feeling too cold and the cats seeming to enjoy the snow
-having some alcohol before i sent the note
-things that move me emotionally
-that R still looks pretty attractive after all these years,unlike most people from that long ago i knew
trying out my new pine oil in the diffuser
-lemon bars
-coffee
-getting a ride to and from work

[buttercup]

-that I sent R from my past the message
-hot coffee
-sleep
-that the outside cat shelters seem to be working
-sweaters
-TV episodes on hulu
-frankincense oil
-a good dinner
-fashion
-doing some mirror affirmations
-taking a picture of some of the things i bought myself in the last weeks to remind myself of all the abundance
-the heater in my room
-listening to some root chakra balancing music
-getting my mom's cat and brother's cat a 6 foot tall cat tower
-buying a certificate for myself for an ayurveda treatment i've been wanting to try
-water
-getting my article done
-more and more ideas with money
-stretches

[buttercup]

-lights out
-my outdoor cats
-doing a yearly journaling reflection and gratitude list and finishing it today
-beautiful life moments
-gratitude
-sleep
-having pizza without cheese and fries for dinner
-soda pop
-hot coffee
-going for a drive tonight
-weather warming up a little
-deciding to buy M's friend D a gift for his dog
-nightskies
-being able to detach a smidge from the kittens and realize they are fine and are going to be fine
-R from my past,who i'll refer to as RC from here out,and how much he's inspired me lately
-the beauty products i use
-sweaters
-the new placement of my bed
-laughing
-interesting facts that inspire me to learn more
-my hair barrette
-how young my face and skin looks
-that i've now gotten the outdoor cats halfway through december
-stretches
-how beautiful and striking my eyes looked when i looked in the mirror earlier

[buttercup]

-going to whole foods the other day for shopping and finding some new things to try
-going to the mall for shopping the other day and getting new lingerie,sportswear,and mini skirt and sweater
-the bad cold winter day being over,and now possibly the worst of the season being over with!
-weather being a little warmer today
-water and how good it is.
-lipgloss
-lemon bars
-hot coffee
-coca cola
-T kitten from third litter sleeping with me today for a few hours
-hugs with T cat from first litter. she's got the sweetest spirit.
-getting T the mom cat to come in today to the house. she has not wanted to come in when i try to bring her,but today i guess she got curious seeing her children come in so when i held the door open for her,a minute or two later,she walked in so i shut the door and she wandered the house for a minute.
-optimism
-getting a little check deposited into my account today
-how enjoyable the little trip through my past i've been taking has been lately. it's so curious,as i havent found myself thinking much into this time phrase for so long,but now i find it feeling so alive,and like it was just recently,and the desire for it has been strong
-laughing at life
-sleep
-my medications
-sunlight
-the diffuser in my room as a nightlight
-heaters
-sweaters
-blankets
-healthy digestion
-nightskies
-stretches
-my eyeglasses
-socks and how comfy they are
-TV episodes on hulu
-confirming a job today
-my face looking so great lately and young
-the solar heated water bowl for the cats. i love it. makes things so much easier.
-getting packages in the mail
-writing out my new years intentions the other night
-sending a thoughtful message i felt inspired to send to a co-worker

[newfreedom]

Gratitude FOR:


having money xX

[buttercup]

-my motivation level increasing
-strong positive inner knowings
-lip gloss
-confirming an exciting job today that i'm pretty sure is a manifestation of a desire from awhile i had wanted to manifest. i like when that happens,it's very affirming. will also look great for the resume
-weather getting warmer
-cats.i love them so much
-TV episodes on hulu
-TV clips on youtube
-inspiration
-romance
-relaxation
-my upcoming jobs
-sleep
-my warm comfy bed
-water
-hot coffee
-lemon bars
-stroopwafels
-ideas
-coca cola
-my beauty
-the diffuser in my room
-my style
-frankincense
-getting a little direction going on again in my life
-yoga
-my medications
-my skincare products
-squats

[buttercup]

-my style
-compliments
-christmas being over
-sleep
-my warm bed
-finding missed episodes on hulu on another site
-sweaters
-deciding to focus more on my body as a new years intentions
-the job i worked on friday and how fun it was
-inspiration
-yoga
-soda pop
-getting a new phone
-the heater in my room
-my outdoor cat family
-smiling
-my beauty
-that tomorrow is a new day
-the weather getting very warm for winter overnight
-that the days are now getting longer
-coffee
-smiling
-hair clips
-my kind heart
-being smart
-cleaning up my eyebrows
-cleaning and organizing my room
-art

[buttercup]

-the holidays being over
-being back home and out of the hospital
-treating myself to a chanel lipstick the other day
-doing some organizing
-my fashion sense
-the weather being nice out
-the kindness in others
-my book finally arriving
-learning a new word that i like
-my beauty
-my body getting nice and toned and tight
-yoga
-physical exercise
-sleep
-my medications
-my chanel lipgloss
-making money
-having insurance
-cats
-sweaters
-the way the cats make me feel loved
-water
-lemon flavoring
-coca cola
-a nice coffee and donuts after leaving the hospital
-having all my apps on my phone again
-my motivation
-TV episodes online of the show i like watching
-cutting ties to negative connections and negativity from last year
-great uber rates
-cleaning and organizing my top drawer
-the little heater in my room and how relaxing it feels
-being smart and empathetic
-having goals

[newfreedom]

Xmas & New year celebrations being done with
living in 'my' Home
my 2 new bracelets - blk with 1 turquiose bead [L. Hand] & colours of the chakras bead bracelet [R. Hand]
weather being dry & mild
other humans
that my face looks different , tone of skin , focus of eyes
having physical body strength
my lavender roll-on stick
having clarity
have 'speech' loud, clar, focused, powerful,articulate
my hairdryer & the comfort it brings
the fan
foot massager
computer
2 wht.dove lamp
my new innoo aromatiser with led lights
esential oils to use with it.
my branch'staff'
my branch wand
the song 'different corner' - by George Michael

[buttercup]

-throat chakra and third eye solfeggios musics
-an amazing class last night that taught me some new moves to incorporate
-being able to get dressed up
-water
-sleep
-my comfortable bed
-delicious coffee and pink frosted sprinkle donuts upon waking. the little things brighten my day
-sunshine
-my outdoor cats
-scheduling another class from the package i bought
-buying the tinted moisturizer i've been saving up for
-doing a nice yin yoga session tonight
-my goals
-that my vibration has been rising a little bit and i've been remembering happiness and "allowing" again
-my beauty
-having a young look
-going to work tomorrow. i've been on break and i think it'll be good for me to be back
-getting more done today
-sweaters
-bananas
-sandwiches
-coca cola
-surrender
-being easy on myself
-the book i've been reading
-meditating today. i love the clarity meditating brings me
-inspiration
-finding a gorgeous boutique of flowes with great reviews and pics that are much less expensive then most flower boutiques online
-ideas
-M speaking to me today
-kindness in others
-the dryer machine being fixed
-my desires. lately i've been thinking how nice going to the beach would be and about a vacation
-my venus dimples
-doing affirmations today in the mirror
-my arms and shoulders starting to look more toned
-smiling

[dontco]

Dedicated to Buttercup, with love! x

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gc9-djC7Uk

[buttercup]

-flowers
-water
-healthy digestion
-accomplishing new anxiety challenge of taking train to work today
-my job at the yoga studio
-my boss at the yoga studio
-smiling
-a good journaling session today
-sunshine
-coffee
-bringing the cats that like indoors,indoor for awhile on this frigid day
-opening up crawlspace for outdoor cats and adding a cushion in there and some cat food
-having a kind heart
-M speaking to me
-crown and root chakra musics and theta beats playlist
-calmness
-doing some reading today
-the holidays being over
-yoga

[buttercup]

Dedicated to Buttercup, with love! x

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gc9-djC7Uk

Thank you. Will check this out. :)

[buttercup]

-deciding to quit soda. after now being up to two bottles a day,and noticing a stomach that just won't go away since around then,i just feel it's time. it's the best grown up diet change i can make.
-meditating. after feeling cranky and bummed,it boosted my mood quite a bit
-prayer
-my peacock print eyepillow
-lemon bars
-gratitude
-yoga
-water
-my medications
-waking up earlier lately
-2nd chakra solfeggio frequencies
-chatting with someone from my past who mysteriously added me on facebook last night
-sleeping with the kittens all night and morning and deciding to start leaving them in more
-makeup
-deciding to donate to R from my past's family's gofundme page. it just felt right to do. i felt so bad about the tragedy he is currently going through.i have never donated to a gofundme before as i tend to not believe in that for the most part.
-the little heater in my room
-my bed
-\being a kind person
-finding out product i was waiting for will be here next week. it wasn't on the list like they thought,so they resent it and sent me the tracking number
-friend inviting me out for lunch
-my career status
-people believing in me being able to do big things

[buttercup]

-sleep
-naps
-my meds i'm on
-poetry in my heart
-s kitten looking better today
-music
-the internet
-good food
-orange juice
-calmness
-mood being better today
-keeping the kittens in the house longer
-essential oils
-getting package from pr today and how nice it was
-weather being warmer today
-kindness
-cuteness
-going back to my roots a bit in some ways and how exciting it is
-daydreaming
-yoga
-shoulder stretches
-physical exercise
-doing some positive focusing
-remembering happy moments and accomplishments
-doing more organizing and cleaning
-fashion
-dental floss
-water
-sitting on the porch for a minute or two just enjoying the nighttime
-laughing and laughing at life
-feeling excitement,gratitude,and presence even if just for one moment
-appreciation

[buttercup]

-being in a better mood the last few days
-S kitten looking more better today
-having the kittens in my room and how easy it's been.
-a guy who was a bit of a person to me that as an "idol" or inspiration messaging me randomly and sending me a message saying he has interest in me. like,this s--- is crazy and proves to me the universe is strange and loa is real. i had felt like i wished there was a guy in my city like him and found him very inspiring and connected with his materials and now he sends me this message two years later.
-water
-having a protein shake today. banana flavored and adding a dash of cayenne pepper.
-having friend A from my past to talk to online the last days
-bringing a humidifier in the room
-coffee
-my perfumes i got in the mail
-sleep
-the little heater in my room
-weight going down and stomach looking nice and flat
-doing a little reading
-eating a lot less lately
-having therapy tommorow
-signs work is about to start picking up again
-my phone
-the internet
-physical exercise
-my ivory colored sweater i've been wearing lately
-my hair
-my beauty
-compliments
-my creativity
-my kind heart
-my bed
-learning
-surrender and letting go
-my vibe having raised a little bit
-laughing
-finding a really good uber deal package i bought
-feeling like the universe is on my side sometimes,and the loa at work
-dental floss
-cat hugs and cuddles

[buttercup]

ah,how has this happened. literally a guy two years ago,i thought would be great to date if only he was in my city,and now here we are randomly having conversations,all iniated by him,and finding actual connection in the messages. this is crazy.
-the conversations ive been having with L. he is actually i think semi-famous. him contacting me and seeming to really like me for some reason. this is insane.
-my medications
-feeling so upbeat the last few days
-going to therapy today
-all the activity on my social media the last day or so.
-the kittens in my room and all the adorable awesome things they do
-sleep
-yoga
-orange juice
-having a skinny stomach
-meditation
-my curves
-following an inspiration for one of jobs i do and iniating a new project for it
-the lock on my door
-a job offer today
-someone wanting to interview me for work tomorrow
-my beauty
-my hair
-how great my skin's been looking
-doing some mirror affirmations today
-dental floss
-the dimmer light in my room for when it gets later in the day
-the weather being nice today
-coffee
-sweaters
-fashion
-feeling optimistic about the future and having a little direction
-water
-the universe seeming to be on my side
-laughing

[buttercup]

-feeling my feelings
-getting my laptop charger in the mail today
-getting my yoga blocks today
-my medications
-the conversations with L and that he contacted me even at all,he really made me feel something i'm not sure i've ever felt before. i can't quite put my finger on it.
-water
-bananas
-weather being warmer
-cats
-s kitten's health looking better
-my bed
-feeling mostly pretty upbeat this last week or so
-yoga
-my beauty
-my potential
-reflections
-how joyful it's been to reflect on my past lately
-the powerful journaling sessions i've been having
-laughing
-nightskies
-feeling more moved on from tragedy of last year
-meditating today
-calmness
-doing some reading
-sugar
-deep cleansing breaths
-getting more things organized
-great ideas
-cleaning more,getting walls cleaned up
-music
-my phone
-having a loving heart
-inspiration
-how much L and the surreal experience of him having contacting me and also all the reconnecting with my past has really inspired me
-my nightcreams
-surrendering

[buttercup]

-my white sweater i've been wearing a lot lately. i love how it looks on me.
-my vibration being pretty up the last week or two
-cats and all the adorable things they do
-water
-hot tea
-hazelnut coffee
-meditation
-motivation
-compliments
-prayer
-affirmations
-my peacock print eye pillow
-being told i'm thin
-laughing
-music
-yoga
-yoga pants
-deep cleansing breaths
-calmness
-my medications
-entertainment
-dreams and wishes
-feeling like maybe i could have love again
-my abs looking nicer lately
-confirming a job today so i'll be able to meet my january goals when i thought i wouldn't and exceed them plus the experience it'll give me
-blankets
-sleep
-ordering the next book i plan on reading
-getting an appointment for S kitten from the volunteer who helps us sometimes
-starting the new year off not too bad,and interestingly
-appreciation
-starting the new year off with connection which is my main intention for the new year so already off to a good start. i can't wait to keep it up. it's changed me already.
-starting to remember the feeling of life being magical and dreams coming true again
-having a nice chest
-my body starting to feel stronger
-feeling like things are starting to become easier and tensions starting to sail away

[buttercup]

so much has happened already this year and this year has barely started. today was a devastating day. lost S kitten. on our way to clinic,her and her brother jumped out of the carrier in front of it,and we only managed to catch one with the help of staff. luckily,we have lots of animal advocates who are helping us look,posting flyers online and on the block last seen,and giving us ideas.i am staying confident we will find her. i miss her so much.
-all the people who helped us find T kitten and try to find S kitten.
-the people who have faith we will find S kitten.
-that on the block S kitten was last seen,there was people who leave food and shelter out for ferals,so it seems to be an animal friendly area.
-that T kitten is now fixed at least
-managing to calm myself down after being treated badly all day by various people and having a kitten i love become missing,and having to miss work
-optimism
-sleep
-coffee
-M bringing me food for dinner
-prayer
-God
-laughing. the cats did something so funny,that even on an awful day like this i couldn't help but smile.i was in the bathroom and suddenly hear the music M's wife usually plays when making playlists for her classes. i knew no one was here,so open the door and sure enough T kitten is sitting in the computer chair sitting in front of the computer where the music was coming from,i'm guessing bemused where the sound came from.i made a joke that i guess the cats wanted to party(i had two other cats in the house,too).
-sweaters
-ibuprofen
-finding out i dont have to file taxes this year

[dontco]

so much has happened already this year and this year has barely started. today was a devastating day. lost S kitten. on our way to clinic,her and her brother jumped out of the carrier in front of it,and we only managed to catch one with the help of staff. luckily,we have lots of animal advocates who are helping us look,posting flyers online and on the block last seen,and giving us ideas.i am staying confident we will find her. i miss her so much.

Oh no! I'm so sorry, dear :/ it seems like you really really love her! I understand the way you feel... And I hope she will return safely to your arms, very soon... :heart: I've had cats who got away, and returned everytime. Even months after... (and you don't have to, of course, I really understand if you don't, but from a LOA point of view- you could walk around the house pretending like she is with you... If it makes you feel better, then it's a good sign. And maybe you can try not to focus on the lack... And it's hard to do, I know! but it seems to work for me, with other things. And maybe you could search The Secret website for stories of people who were in the same situation and succeeded. But I would truly understand if you wouldn't want to try this things right now. Now is a hard time.) Anyway, good luck! :grouphug:

[buttercup]

Oh no! I'm so sorry, dear :/ it seems like you really really love her! I understand the way you feel... And I hope she will return safely to your arms, very soon... :heart: I've had cats who got away, and returned everytime. Even months after... (and you don't have to, of course, I really understand if you don't, but from a LOA point of view- you could walk around the house pretending like she is with you... If it makes you feel better, then it's a good sign. And maybe you can try not to focus on the lack... And it's hard to do, I know! but it seems to work for me, with other things. And maybe you could search The Secret website for stories of people who were in the same situation and succeeded. But I would truly understand if you wouldn't want to try this things right now. Now is a hard time.) Anyway, good luck! :grouphug:


I actually read some inspiring loa stories about missing cats returning and have faith the universe will be delivering me an inspiring magical tale i will remember of S kitten returning.one thing that eases me a little also is knowing she was from a feral cat family and part outdoor cat so has some street smarts.Her mom cat is also a tough cookie which im sure she some of that.

[buttercup]

-seeing some manifesting of my desires
-reading some inspiring loa stories about missing cats returning and also about cats homing instinct
-checking the other animal shelter today for S kitten we wanted to check
-believing the universe will be giving me a magical manifestation i will remember of S kitten
-my boss from last few days of work being so polite and laidback
-my sense of style
-my beauty
-having a nice body
-yoga
-coffee
-sweets
-water
-cats
-after the beautiful connection i felt with L.E,and then all this with S kitten,realizing and remembering love again despite all the heartbreak,pains and mistakes in life,and the all encompassing nature of love and how it's not about all the little petty things we get so consumed about and remembering the important things in life and, connection. remembering the magic of life again
-a great meditation last night that gave me great insights about connection
-having nice little insights coming to me lately
-water
-new experiences
-people out of the blue contacting me
-resources for lost pets i've been using
-my kind heart
-somehow being able to be positive throughout all this.i smile thinking about how l.e made me feel like i could see the light of a new path and that i could feel close again to a guy and fall in love someday and my beautiful little s kitten and and being reminded about the beauty of miracles and magic. inspiration to let go...and believe..
-my bed
-seeing new episodes uploaded to site of TV show i've been watching
-my bed
-the weather being warmer lately
-great music
-the kindness of others
-my cheekbones
-beauty role models
-my new perfumes i've been wearing
-that i get paid tomorrow
-being able to laugh in the face of past insults and see the hypocrisy and feel stronger for it. this whole month has been..strengthening and revitalizing.
-getting a ride to work today
-inspirations
-ideas
-my phone

[buttercup]

was thinking about how years i'm going to look back on last year and the time where ex best friend betrayed me and how it would it feel looking back..it was one of those pivotal life moments that changed me that i never thought would happen. And,it was frightening. So frightening it may have been the cause of my panic attacks. Thinking about 10 or 20 years from now and looking back to last year scares me like crazy and feels surreal and eerie. picturing life without him is frightening..but also is him as a stranger and from a far away past. It's enough to send me in a psych ward just thinking about it. that reality just feels too disacossiating.i'm also in this phase of starting to feel old which is nerve wrecking and also very oddly enough,starting to understand romantic love's place in life and desiring it. parts of life,even the painful ones,some have start to shift to me being able to understand it a little and have it make sense. even,how i've been talking to my old best friend A and the R from my past stuff feels like perfect timing..even if also seemingy "obvious" and storybook like. it's crazy how things can be the "right time." I feel like i have come a little stronger. The anxiety issues i had last year literally don't exist.i feel like i am ready for romantic love in my life. I now understand how i'd become close to someone again and that it can happen again. Pain is what makes one spiritualy curious and i am so very curious to really play with the law of attraction. I've felt too blocked to do since all the pain. But,i am ready to start meditating more,journaling more,and playing with the loa again so i can start understanding my life story more and feeling empowered again and so life doesn't feel so crazy.
-T kitten sleeping in my arms
-reflection
-medications i took today
-sleep
-fever breaking
-knowing S kitten is on her way home and that i will see her soon
-water
-feeling excitement in my heart
-buying an electric toothbrush tonight
-sending more cat food to my mom
-emailing and googling some pet psychics
-my eyeglasses
-entertainment
-music
-my beauty
-soup
-putting up S kitten's online flyer on another site
-M's husband going out searching for me for S since i was sick and hanging up some flyers for me
-being smart
-friendly people
-my kind heart
-getting bedsheets nice and cleaned and changed
-the cla supplement i've been taking which seems to be working for weightloss

[buttercup]

-feeling a lot better physically today
-more tension faded between me and M. We actually spoke a few times to each other today and she even said bye to me when she left.
-the optimism i have despite the devastating disapperance of S kitten
-in my anger,deciding to go ahead and book a pet psychic session. sometimes anger brings clarity
-water
-my bed
-weather feeling warmer today
-positive inspiration
-sleep
-feeling spoiled
-emoji valentines m&m's
-tofu
-laughing
-smiling
-genuine guys
-believing in love again
-feeling inspired
-cats
-TV episodes online to watch
-entertainment
-cleaning a good amount today
-feeling motivated
-buying some yoga pants today i right away seen and liked and a sportsbra yesterday on my wishlist
-fashion
-T kitten sleeping with me when he does
-people to chat with on fb messenger
-finding my favorite mascara and favorite lipbalm today
-great ideas
-the internet
-my hot pink roses
-practicing connecting and feeling and how effective it's been for me

[buttercup]

-my ivory colored sweater
-dimmer lights
-my eyeglasses
-cats. and seeing the beautiful tortie cat family and a black cat by lady who takes care of feral's house. it was two small torties and a mom tortie and a black cat
-kindness of others
-buying the pet psychic session and waking up literally to the minute on time for it today. not sure if it was accurate or not,but i'm glad i did it. i'm also grateful for how it reassured me some,and reminded me S kitten too has a higher self. the psychic before i said anything seemed to agree that S kitten is avoiding humans right now and is not with any.
-feeling my feelings
-coffee
-red sauce.
-L,the guy i found interesting from afar randomly touching my heart this month.
-feeling myself becoming more and more connected again
-the book i've been reading
-plants
-flowers
-blankets
-my bed
-innocence
-TV episodes online for free to watch
-buying these yoga pants that right away i seen and liked
-fashion
-no longer being sick
-water
-seeing the manifestation of some of my desires this past year
-meditating today
-sleep
-yoga pants
-having a great body
-prayer
-doing a little yoga today
-colors
-beauty
-scalp massage
-deciding to listen to some solar plexus and theta musics playlist and work on raising my vibration
-finding out things about others that gives empathy and understanding
-dental floss
-changing things up for variety
-inspiration
-motivation
-staying confident
-my uniqueness
-feeling flattered and accepted and admired as is
-art
-creativity
-laughing
-spirituality
-evolving,and learning and not taking life too seriously

[buttercup]

-L,who i will now refer to as LE,for ease touching my heart this month and for how sexy his voice is.i remember back ago,that used to be one of my favorite features on a guy was a sexy voice,and his voice is very sexy.
-sleep
-my warm bed
-cute pictures
-T kitten cuddling with me
-music
-feeling upbeat and motivated
-meditating tonight
-prayer
-stretches and how strong they make me feel
-feeling like i have more aim and direction in my life lately
-coffee
-the way the air felt outside today,so nice
-writing down what i want to talk to therapist about tomorrow
-getting some calls done today
-buying myself another pair of yoga pants i've had my eye on and some macarons that have caught my eye
-funny and interesting news stories
-art
-books
-ideas
-TV episodes online
-my confidence growing
-CLA supplement playing a part in keeping my weight down
-looking at old pictures of myself and realizing i have a really nice body
-organizing and throwing more things out last night
-inspiration
-smiling
-laughing
-feeling good
-friend J contacting me today
-messaging with friend A from the past today
-water
-amusement
-deep cleansing breaths
-my medications
-my beauty
-my desires
-pinterest
-becoming smarter financially
-practicing connection. today,it was as simple as feeling connection with the sound of the air filter,and how relaxing i was finding the sound of it. i'm usually indifferent to it,but today i just found the sound to be nice,soothing.

[buttercup]

-staying strong
-beauty
-looking young
-dimmer lights
-my bed
-cats
-T kitten to sleep with me
-cuteness
-my lips
-my bodylines looking nice and slim
-my style
-yoga pants
-getting new yoga pants i just ordered in the mail already
-coffee
-chocolate
-having a little junk food today
-my eyeglasses
-water
-sleep
-the little heater in my room
-being pretty productive today
-going to therapy today
-trimming my hair
-laughing
-not taking life too seriously
-newness
-inspiration
-knowing cool people
-meditation
-journaling today
-feeling positive emotions
-feeling like LE may be a soulmate,there's just a lot of serendipity, in sync going on,seeing myself in him,and this weird hmm feeling about him that i've never felt before. there's parts that are very similar yet opposite/complementary. it's weird. I never thought i'd recognize someone as that to me from afar that is someone i had known from a certain media of some sort. one random thing i noticed is on fb,i have a black cover picture that's just a black square,and he has a white cover picture that's just a white square,it could just be him never choosing a cover pic,but it's still odd.
-TV episodes online to watch
-chat messages with friends online
-looking like a model
-editing some things in one of my business's email
-donating money to one of the charities i like
-updating my resume
-doing some of the course lessons i bought
-learning new things
-journaling today and how good it felt after,even though initially i didn't want to do it,really
-being a nonconformist
-sending emails out for jobs
-having ideas for one of my business'es and getting some work done with that
-making goals that push me a little bit,and aren't what originally i wanted but may be able to do
-putting out some actions to get some things moving with various work things
-lipgloss
-the weather feeling nicer today
-the book i've been reading which is so crazy,but challenges ideas on life and is a mind trip
-yoga
-my phone
-having nice hair
-face massage and face stretches
-feeling pride in myself for becoming more competent and accomplished
-buying some business work of mine for my print records

[buttercup]

-seeing the law of attraction at work
-bananas
-yoga
-snacks
-orange juice
-coffee
-the internet
-T kitten
-hope
-smiling
-meditation
-my bed
-self forgiveness
-ideas
-getting sportsbra in the mail and it looking great
-exploring connection this year and how well it's been going so far
-inspiring chats the other day
-learning and being almost done with first course load i've been working on
-TV episodes online
-laughing
-trying new things
-getting caught up on things
-knowing cool people
-possibly having a new creative director
-sunshine
-motivation
-the little heater in my room
-my beauty
-my uniqueness
-manifesting a job for primary career the other day
-all the reconnecting with people from the past
-champagne macarons
-believing in myself more and more and becoming better
-cleaning and organizing
-water
-makeup
-music
-goals
-dreams
-progress
-being a (first career)
-cuteness
-reflections
-miracles
-M getting the flyers for S kitten printed for me

[buttercup]

-loose hamstrings
-dimmed lights
-a made bed
-TV episodes online to watch
-my bed
-the little heater in my room
-sleep
-hope
-being almost finished with first course from all the courses i bought online to study
-the internet
-my phone
-cats
-cuteness
-my kind heart
-having nice teeth
-deep cleansing breaths
-self forgiveness
-chipotle burritos
-yoga pants
-yoga
-doing some journaling today
-mouthwash
-feeling more in tune with my desires and direction in my life
-working in the fashion industry
-getting a little work done today
-positive inner knowings
-positive possibilities
-looking young
-orange juice
-creative expression
-art
-pinterest
-having nice curves
-music
-sending some emails out
-pictures
-motivation
-succulents
-colors
-getting more things organized and cleaned

[buttercup]

-bananas
-orange juice
-coffee
-the little heater in my room
-chipotle
-sleep
-my bed
-happy thoughts
-optimism
-finishing up my first course and getting a certificate from the course package i bought recently
-loose hamstrings
-a made bed
-tension fading more with M and even going to the gym with her today
-doing the stairmaster today
-physical exercise
-TV episodes online
-cats
-M saying she'd go to the movies with me for the movie i mentioned kind of wanting to see
-cute and funny things cats do
-my winter boots
-having nice teeth
-my beauty
-my style
-laughing at life
-feeling my feelings
-pinterest
-plants
-beauty
-my phone
-nicer weather in the daytime today
-sweaters
-having nice curves
-things picking up in some areas of work

[buttercup]

-TV episodes online
-reflecting on things
-remembering i've done a heck of a lot of things in my life,i've certaintely lived fully
-seeing life as like a story
-my bed
-cats
-cuteness
-the little heater in my room
-connection
-the unusually warm weather today
-yoga pants
-surrender
-mouthwash
-yoga
-music
-doing a little studying on the next course i'm working on
-getting a little work done today
-seeing a notice for first work thing,which is great,as my desire has been to see more of that kind of thing pop up in my reality
-seeing the law of attraction at work
-my heart chakra intention spray
-learning
-laughing
-comedy
-my unique beauty
-makeup
-coffee
-sweets
-my meds i'm
-calling my therapist today to talk about my anxieties.
-my winter boots
-tension fading more with M.
-M giving me money today
-great uber prices
-self forgiveness
-getting a massage today
-blankets
-the deepak chopra love affirmations meditation audio playing during my massage
-new experiences
-relaxation
-the positive ways i've been evolving
-feeling more connected lately,seeing my new year's resolution has been working!

[buttercup]

-cats and all the cute and silly thing they do
-sleep
-my bed
-sweaters
-doing a nice one hour stretch and tone workout
-chana masala
-sweets
-coffee
-trying to eat at least one nourishing meal today
-my medications i'm on
-water
-having a nice large chest
-my heart chakra intention spray
-meditation
-doing a nice journaling session today
-doing more studying today
-possibly booking a job for march that will exceed march financial goals
-lots of jobs and job opportunities popping up more and more in several career areas
-prayer
-exploring more with connection making sure to daily feel connection
-lower body getting nice and toned
-the weather being nice again in the daytime
-my beauty
-my hair barrette
-the internet
-TV episodes online
-laughing
-an invite from a friend
-meeting interesting people all the time
-being smart
-getting some work done
-ideas
-learning
-feeling my feelings
-reflecting a bit on what i want in a guy
-feeling inspired and motivated

[buttercup]

-cats
-my outdoor cat family
-orange juice
-doing a nice 1 hour intuitive stretch and strengthen exercise routine
-feeling sore and strong and good from yesterday's workout
-water
-coffee
-sweets
-sleep
-my bed
-the little heater in my room
-my meds
-doing some studying today
-working on strengthening my belief a little on certain things tonight
-going shopping at whole foods today
-cute valentines day things
-sending out more emails
-getting more things popping up for primary career
-TV episodes online
-beauty
-my beauty
-sweaters
-perfume
-things that reassure
-feeling more and more confident and accepting of myself
-things that make me happy and peaceful
-hope
-doing some more organizing today
- my hair barrette
-my poise and mannerisms
-inspiration
-laughing
-compliments
-my strength
-being smart

[buttercup]

-makeup
-sleep
-getting my certificate in my latest course i completed
-water
-a great workout last night at class and learning some new things and seeing improvement and that i'm getting better from classes previous
-music
-entertainment
-my bed
-the little heater in my room
-M helping me get something set up for the post office to get a refund
-possible little hmm "glitches in the matrix" things
-some possible positive news about S kitten as well as positive signs all around me and noticing it more
-fashion
-seeing that affirmations/intentions/heart desires do come true,even the randomest ones that may takes years to come. truly fascinating!
-seeing the law of attraction at work
-the internet
-getting my beliefs about certain things feeling stronger
-pinterest
-facebook
-positive changes
-being easy on myself
-the weather getting nicer again
-coffee
-gratitude
-colors
-art
-beauty products
-my beauty
-getting things more organized
-smiling
-newness
-creativity
-walking
-becoming more competant and confident
-seeing my stomach start to get some nice muscles
-being smart
-being talented
-becoming more productive
-the delicious italian bread i ate today
-cats
-T kitten sleeping with me
-deep cleansing breaths
-changing my thoughts
-changing my perceptions
-remembering all happy moments in my life,and all the things i've accomplished
-becoming new
-warm showers
-night skies
-relaxation
-peace
-my skin having become more moisturized the last few months from adding vegan omegas supplement to my diet
-having nice teeth
-having nice hair
-connection
-goals
-positive manifestations

[buttercup]

-realizing ever since starting therapy and starting meds and all the celebs who are "crazy" and on meds,that i can finally be more of myself and embrace moments that aren't perfect such as apathy,and not always strive for positive 100% of the time and in doing this,i actually become more confident,and more contented
-art
-creativity
-motivation
-the little heater in my room
-my bed
-the medications i'm on
-my new yoga pants from alo yoga and how great they look and feel
-chlorophyll
-coffee
-sweaters
-T kitten
-meditation
-feeling like more signs of coming closer to finding S kitten. today,a shelter that has been helping us had a kitten for us to look at. it wasn't her. but the fur was very similar to hers. this cat was older,though. and,i got my first call from someone who seen an ad i placed for S kitten. it wasn't her,either. this cat also looked older,but the person was very kind and said they would keep the cat if they didn't find the owner,and was encouraging saying their sister lost her cat,and found it months later.
-laughing
-having nice eyes
-water
-sleep
-forgiveness
-plants
-lip balms and moisturizers
-feeling clean
-acting
-my first career experiences
-getting some things done today despite sleeping most of the day
-starting the next course i'm doing
-getting some writing and editing done
-my ambition
-inspiration

[DarkChylde]

--the medications i'm on


oh hey now! me too!! what horrible trials I had to go through to get the right medication and the right dose.

I'm so glad we are both on medication we agree with.

Sending positive vibes your way sister , we are blooming girl , we can both feel it.

[buttercup]

oh hey now! me too!! what horrible trials I had to go through to get the right medication and the right dose.

I'm so glad we are both on medication we agree with.

Sending positive vibes your way sister , we are blooming girl , we can both feel it.



Thank you so much.Me going into therapy last year was a good decision I made.

[buttercup]

Well,I haven't seen W cat and T cat from first litter and T kitten from last litter has been a little sick and S kitten still missing. It's just all so strange and bizarre. I've been trying to keep my spirits up. W and T cat were the most loving of them all and T cat was such a success story having been one of the most afraid ones for months until we finally earned her trust and she would literally curl up in our arms instantly after that all the time and was just so loving and submissive to us,even following us to our cars,the garage,etc. it's very odd to have not seen them in the last few days. I have felt stressed and overwhelmed. I bit my lip in the middle of talking to hold back my tears about it earlier and started slowly crying thinking about it.
-valentines day chocolates
-art
-T kitten and how much he loves to cuddle with me
-getting M's husband to take me to the neighborhood to look for S kitten at 5:30 am
-coffee
-inspiration
-sleep
-feeling well rested today
-tension fading more with M. She caught me standing in the doorway this afternoon just standing there looking out. She was confused. I told her I was just looking for T cat. I was lost in thought about it. I think after a meltdown last night about other things,her and her husband have warmed up to trying a little more with me again. She took me to go for a walk today with her,then to her class and then to a bakery/cafe to pick up some sweets and then starbucks for coffee.
-the beautiful weather today. so warm. felt like summer.
-the beautiful night skies
-fashion
-my style
-my big wide eyes
-newness and the new changes i've been making and becoming
-L.E. The connection I feel with him. He seem to really get me and feels like my other half. It's so strange. I've never felt it this exact before. It's like what i've prayed and dreamed for. He says things that feel like me.i randomly decided to message him last night.i made sure it was not coming from a place of helplessness or feeling low and almost didn't do it,but decided i want to keep trying to break away from old rules i've had for myself
-organizing and throwing more things away
-yoga pants
-my new perfumes
-my heart chakra spray
-my bed
-M taking me to her yoga class and how great it was.i sweated a little bit and felt stronger and more capable doing the poses today
-a p.r sending me a beauty product i want
-all the paying jobs i have now confirmed for march which will make march another high earning month
-stomach exercises
-my stomach getting flatter and stronger
-seeing how cute it is H kitten warming up to me more and more
-having a kind heart
-being an interesting person
-having beautiful,wide young looking eyes
-my eyeglasses
-deciding to watch a movie online the other night
-my boss and how great she is
-watching the weird ways life unfolds and the mysteriousness of it all
-cuteness
-how beautiful my eye color is
-makeup
-chlorophyll
-my goals
-motivation
-apps on my phone
-masculine energy
-journaling
-happy thoughts
-music
-art
-being almost done with the article i've been working on
-being able to work in the industries i do

[buttercup]

I feel so helpless yet at the same time,possibly blocked(from meds) from feeling it fully. T kitten now manages to seem better which has eased some of my stress.
-M's husband buying me the hair color so i can touch up my hair since i'm feeling insecure since looking at a very brightly lit mirror last night.
-L.E and the connection i feel with him.
-getting a little bit of work done
-learning
-getting some studying done
-ideas
-creativity
-feeling lots of extra creativity bouncing out of me lately
-sleep
-T kitten sleeping with me last night and this morning
-coffee
-V confirming for me i'll either have a makeup artist for upcoming job or she's going to do it since she's a liscensed esthetician
-have a flexible back
-back stretches
-throat and third eye solfeggios i'm listening to
-art
-inspiration
-deep cleansing breaths
-doing a nice meditation session tonight
-ear plugs
-my peacock eye pillow
-how beautiful my eyes are
-my hair
-my stomach getting nice and strong and sculpted
-being an interesting person
-trying out my electric toothbrush i bought finally and how cleansing it felt
-my eyeglasses
-my nubian heritage olive oil and green tea body lotion
-having nice lips
-having a kind heart
-feeling my feelings
-connecting
-having dreams the other day RC from my past like me and was trying to tell me so
-my heart chakra spray
-pinterest
-getting things more and more organized
-beauty products
-chlorophyll
-beautiful summery weather today...in february..which is very strange for where i live
-becoming more flexible and loosening my hamstrings
-emotions
-happy thoughts
-prayer
-taking time for myself
-quiet

[buttercup]

What a weird day. From an utterly peculiar message from L.E that I can't figure out(I even got a weird feeling,maybe dejavu after it),to extremely unusually warm weather in my city,to W cat returning shortly after I woke up looking very groomed and just eating in the yard like nothing had changed.
-W cat returning. Very happy start to my day indeed. Shortly after waking up,I went out to the yard a 2ndtime and there he was eating like no big deal. he looked unusally groomed..I've tried washing him and havent been able to yet somehow it looked as if someone gave the guy a bath. I brought him in and showed M's husband who was very happy to see him(he feels the biggest connection to W cat). M's husband told me he had spent part of the day going around the neighborhood looking for and calling for the missing cats,and apparently W cat had returned only 15 minutes after he was calling for him so he thinks W cat was closeby wherever he has been.
-dontco
-T kitten being all better
-T kitten sleeping with me
-going for a one hour walk with M
-things that make me marvel and hmm at the universe
-unusually warm,summery weather today...so utterly strange seeing people in t-shirts and jeans this time of year..it's usually coat weather!
-coffee
-sleep
-getting creative with my money and managing to buy myself an acupuncture session,ordering myself a dinner to be delivered(was craving red sauce) and ordered some more canned food for the outdoor cats and had free shipping on that.
-my paying jobs i have for march
-my job coming up this coming week
-getting a free class offer in my email and deciding to book it
-makeup
-fashion
-art
-creativity
-masculine energy
-cuteness
-sunshine
-TV episodes online
-awesome quotes and things to post online that fit my personality
-water
-backbends
-chlorophyll
-prayer
-inspiration
-motivation
-my phone
-nonconformity
-my insomnia that i had this time last year for some time having manifested itself as being cured. it's the little things.
-dimmer lights
-smiling
-unique beauty
-decluttering
-happy moments
-miracles

[buttercup]

-water
-coffee
-chlorophyll
-stomach getting flatter
-reassurance on what the heart is looking for in other places then first seeked,or even possibly in some ambiguous way in the way seeked as well
-happy and meaningful life moments
-love
-spirituality
-glitch in the matrix type experiencs
-my electric toothbrush
-L.E
-deciding to touch up my hair color and how great and soft it already feels
-music
-positivity
-colors
-good food
-happy stories
-cleaning out my purse
-cats
-feeling my feelings
-masculine energy
-meditation
-prayer
-W cat returning
-the internet
-yoga pants
-art
-creativity
-connection
-doing some studying
-getting a little work done
-nice warm showers
-doing some spiritual exercise last night before bed
-blankets
-sleep
-beauty
-entertainment
-laughing at life
-doing some reading
-loose hamstrings
-my glutes getting a nice curve and very toned
-coziness
-being unique
-doing more searching and posting flyers for S kitten
-hope and hopeful thoughts such as remembering even E cat from first litter went kind of missing for a bit and wasn't around much in late fall,and i was worried.
-signs from the universe

[DarkChylde]

-masculine energy


1875

*thumbsup*

[buttercup]

1875

*thumbsup*

lol.

[buttercup]

-getting back into raising my vibe using sound therapies.
-music
-art
-creativity
-warm weather AGAIN today
-nightskies
-going to the grocery store
-the smell of cat fur
-funny and heartwarming things cats do
-being so close to done with article i'm working on
-my bed
-getting caught up on phone calls today
-sunshine
-coffee
-my stomach getting leaner,stronger,and more sculpted
-yoga
-yoga pants
-learning
-looking slimmer
-my hair looking and feeling nicer since touching up the color
-doing more studying today
-my style
-getting some more posters posted for S kitten
-M's husband saying he knows he will see T cat from first litter again
-my laptop
-blankets
-water
-chlorophyll
-glitches in the matrix type experiences
-kind people
-inspiring people
-dreams coming true
-positive things
-colored pencils
-being offered more paying jobs today and told about other upcoming ones later on

[buttercup]

-deciding to let go of L.E. For some reason he sent me another message today that only made him seem like even more of a jerk. i just don't get it. He's not the guy I thought he was in his videos. Plus,there's probably little personal aspects that wouldn't make it work. If he's already being a jerk now,it's best to just say no. After having gone through an awful abusive relationship,and all the other b.s i've been through,it's probably best i don't stay interested. i'd end up a punching bag. the weird thing is,i feel like the angry tension now I feel at him,feels like we already were dating,and usually when i have that feeling i'm pretty sure,i always have ended up dating that person. maybe,i'm just feeling that because i felt a connection with him,i don't know..just try to logicize it...I'm letting him go with love. Let myself do a little mini grieve over it tonight feeling my feelings,and am not even going to be mad after this. let him be who he is,where he is at. i thought maybe we really vibed but who knows maybe he's just a pompous jerk or was playing me like an experiment.
-that I somehow detached naturally without effort today. that's when i got the message,which at first seemed like it might be a nice,sweet one. all i did was focused on how good the nice weather felt and finishing up some work.
-the beautiful amazing weather again today.
-sunshine
-nightskies
-the beautiful way the air feels
-T kitten
-physical exercise
-deep stretches
-my stomach getting stronger
-chlorophyll
-finishing up my article tonight
-sweaters
-yoga pants
-my winter boots
-my electric toothbrush and how clean it makes my teeth feel
-my goals
-my motivation and desire to really focus on my goals
-creativity
-art
-hot guys
-finding a really great...and perfect timing even, love song that hit me deep with feeling
-fashion
-music
-entertainment
-going looking for S kitten today
-coffee
-feeling more focused
-all the paid jobs i have coming up
-doing some coloring in my mandala coloring book tonight
-all the offers i get that would bring me publicity and are high end and flattering
-positive changes,newness,and evolving
-the beautiful tortie kitten i keep seeing when we go looking for s kitten
-kind people
-pronoia
-trusting life
-taking less naps today
-loving myself
-water

[buttercup]

-being happy with my decision to let go of L.E and following my heart and avoiding him. if he's going to act like poor him,he can't be bothered,well then i'm giving him what he wants. he's probably too immature for me,and high maintennance. why did he even send me another message? it's as if he felt bad,but was rubbing it in that he's a cocky jerk.
-feeling my feelings
-listening to some solar plexus chakra and thetas music playlist
-my article being done and sent to p.r and posted on social medias and made public
-doing a little studying today
-music
-passion
-love songs
-backbends
-ab exercises
-loose hamstrings
-naps
-coffee
-getting a ride to work today
-beauty
-taking the train home today
-M's husband randomly giving me $20 today
-writing down some of my goals and dreams today
-yoga pants
-cuteness
-hot guys
-T kitten laying with me
-H kitten and T kitten bringing them in this afternoon when it rained. Poor H seemed a little afraid of the rain.
-my style
-fashion
-chocolate
-my job tomorrow
-my lower body getting nice and shapely and toned
-my venus dimples
-water
-entertainment
-naps
-heartwarming articles and art
-compliments
-doing a little reading today
-doing a little coloring today
-makeup

[buttercup]

-music
-discovering new things
-inspiration
-my job today and how great it was to be creative and back at it,and all the inspiration i always get on all kinds of things by working with other creatives
-new pictures of me
-how strong and toned my lower back is getting
-becoming more confident
-instagram
-getting another paid job offer for march
-cute and adorable things cats do
-getting some heartwarming pictures of T kitten laying right on my chest,sleeping
-getting flyers made of T cat from first litter
-cuteness
-facebook
-deep stretches
-finding someone who really gets a concept i want to do for something
-how nice it is to have my article completed
-working in the fashion industry
-smiling,and also realizing after having posted a smiling picture of me how incredibly unusual it is for there to be smiling pictures of me
-makeup
-feeling ready and desiring a real relationship
-pinterest
-coffee
-healthy digestion
-compliments
-beauty
-feminine energy
-unique beauty
-creativity
-being able to be around and cultivate feminine energy today
-M telling me she put money in my account tonight
-things that are funny
-leggings and yoga pants
-embracing some of the ways i've changed
-having big beautiful eyes
-waking up on time today
-beautiful night skies and how great the air feels
-making cats happy
-sweaters
-getting better at letting go
-entertainment

[buttercup]

-getting my next certificate for the course i've been taking. this one was the hardest yet.
-getting T cat flyers up on portal
-yoga pants
-coffee
-sleep
-my beauty
-t kitten and how cute he is just sleeping
-cute things cats do
-my kind heart
-being productive
-cute stories
-animal life and animal connections and observing life
-vegan ramen noodles
-deep yoga stretches
-my class tomorrow
-my phone
-blankets
-my belief starting to get stronger
-doing some reading today
-fashion
-femininity
-ignoring LE's last message,(i have no idea what it even says),and withdrawing and how great it is to let go. it's made me stop and reflect that maybe i should start waiting until after initial contacts with someone to decide if i feel a connection with someone. maybe that's where my troubles in the past have stemmed from,even.
-getting someone for a project i want to do
-ideas
-accomplishment
-meeting goals
-having nice curves
-pr being happy with my work and promoting it
-colors
-entertainment
-art
-creativity
-positive news articles

[buttercup]

-spiritual music
-hot tea
-physical exercise
-dimmer lights
-getting my next course certificate,since deciding to just cram in the courseload in a night
-my phone
-seeing the new pics of me,and that they were not too bad
-the realization i had before bed last night about letting go
-self forgiveness
-my headphones
-healing my stomach issues
-chlorophyll
-sleep
-my blankets
-my bed
-a nice journaling session today
-coffee
-T kitten
-putting up flyers for T cat today
-marinara sauce
-dedicating myself to letting go of anger
-feeling at least twice today,like time was slowing down
-my beauty
-having many talents,interests,and accomplishments
-deep cleansing breaths
-feeling myself little by little coming back to myself,and embracing inner quiet
-ideas
-pictures
-compliments
-sweaters
-my beauty products
-letting myself feel heart chakra sensations today,it was a sensation of sadness like my heart was broken. i let myself feel it,so i can feel the sadness fully, no matter how "silly" it,so i can truly let go. i let the sadness waves go through me. no need to add words to it,or identify it,but just feel it. i know how i am with guys when i like them. iget attached quick,then when they become jerks,i keep giving them chances. one thing,i've never tried before is this. instead,i usually just chalk it up to normal playing games and think it too early to say bye,and keep thinking of the good.
-cuteness. that is one thing my life has an abundance of.
-all the opportunities i get.very recently,just from someone wanting me to be a judge in a beauty paegant,to another person asking me to be on a podcast,and then someone that's a journalist who wants to talk about some things with me,and hear more about it.i said no to the first two,but might consider the last.
-inspiration
-taking less naps today
-

[buttercup]

i think i fear things being out of control. when things are out of control,i feel like a failure. like,i just can't keep it together. when,i have the illusion of things being in control,i feel secure,i feel...slightly stable,i feel ok,like i'm managing. like,i'm ok as a human being,i'm not so bad. i metaphorically feel like i'm falling,losing control,my hands are losing their grip,and i feel shame,but as i'm losing grip,i feel like i'm going to fall,and i'm going to let go,and find that bliss,but right now,my hands are still just starting to lose their grip,and i am just starting to feel the bad feelings of inadequacy for not keeping it all in control,for failing. the feeling is as if i'm on the verge of a panic attack for not being better.

last night,i felt like i was going crazy,i felt like on the verge of a panic attack. strong feelings of disassociation. feeling like i need to get away. i started looking up meditation retreats. that's partially why i think i wanted to check into a mental hospital those past months. i think i'm looking for a mental vacation,a forced quiet.i feel like i need to do an internet/phone cleanse for a while,and just long quiet/meditation periods. i think maybe that's what my soul is craving.i haven't done that in awhile. when i've done it in the past,i found profound healing,life changing realizations,and my vibration rose very high. i remembered "me." so,this is my next mission.

today,i missed my class and ate a ton of junk food. i think i've convinced myself before that i need to mess up from time to time,just to feel in balance..as if letting myself mess up a little bit,makes me feel stable,and more likely to do better,i don't know.

-going to whole foods today. i think just getting out of the house helped my mood a lot.
-sleep.
-leggings/yoga pants. my favorite things to wear
-cats.
-meditative realizations/insights
-water
-coffee
-sweaters
-chlorophyll
-stretches
-physical exercise
-the little heater in my room
-forgiveness
-getting castings
-gratitude
-updating my resume today
-updating one of my social media pages today
-doing a little reading
-doing a little work on the next article. each article becomes me being immersed in the topic of said article. i like it.
-TV episodes online
-entertainment
-music
-pinterest
-blankets
-beauty
-my hair
-vacuuming my floor today and M's husband mopping it for me
-embracing feeling
-connection
-my wisdom
-my goals
-ideas
-doing new things
-new apps for my phone that look interesting
-kindness
-started to get more into the idea of the law of attraction again
-doing a spiritual intentions exercise the other day
-having a work social this week
-hot tea
-lavender
-style
-self love and appreciation
-deep cleansing breaths
-the internet
-person i didn't end up meeting with recently wanting to meet this week.
-getting more flyers put up for S kitten and T cat and going looking for T cat
-clean clothes

[buttercup]

-soda pop
-water
-coffee
-going looking for S kitten today
-getting a text from someone who possibly saw T cat today
-quiet
-the floor in my room
-TV episodes online
-entertainment
-T kitten sleeping right next to me tonight when i wanted to lay down
-yoga pants/leggings
-high end designer fashion
-getting an appointment to see psychiatrist tomorrow
-unique beauty,and seeing features i have becoming more desirable in the mainstream
-seeing all the cats except T cat from first litter that's missing and S kitten missing gathered in front of the house. Even dad cat scrambled by for a moment.
-observing life
-my goals and desires
-being easy on myself

[buttercup]

i finally read le's message before bed last night. it was nice and normal. so,i responded right away.i still feel like there's a lot of things in sync between him and i.
-messages from le that i read before bed last night and then tonight.i decided from here on out,i will just respond right away instead of waiting until before bed. this feels more right to me now,more natural.
-hot guys
-going to the psychiatrist today. am on all new meds and am starting to despise my psychiatrist. why the heck does he bring up sex things randomly? apparently flowers symbolize sex. wtf.
-tv episodes online
-sleep
-waking up on time.
-doing my hour long meditation like i had as a goal.
-water
-coffee
-my authenticity
-cleaning out part of my closet
-that i am getting a pedicure and manicure tomorrow
-T kitten laying with me and all the cute things he does.
-self forgiveness
-getting a flyer posted up for S kitten
-cats

[buttercup]

-L.E
-my fabulous new pedicure and manicure. got a nice spring vacation-y color.
-working today
-doing some coloring
-doing some reading
-doing some reading
-getting some work done on current article and feeling close to finished
-naps
-uber
-healthy digestion
-coffee
-sugar
-tofu scramble
-water
-T kitten and all the cute pictures i get of him
-W cat and how cuddly he is
-cats
-all the cats i am connected to
-sweaters
-drinking more water
-feeling less tired today
-makeup
-confirming a job for an event i wanted to do
-feeling like i get some things easier then i used to..i think my vibe is higher and certain old blocks are just gone
-my child-like qualities
-ideas
-creativity
-femininity
-entertainment
-upbeat moods
-my hair
-observing le's behavior and feeling like he likes me and might be playing games a bit
-my kind heart
-music
-yoga
-doing 20 minutes of neck stretches
-hot tea
-lavender
-my phone
-writing down notes for my meeting tomorrow
-waking up on time today
-my eyeglasses
-writing down some affirmations in my journal at work today
-having healthy teeth
-beauty
-my confidence growing
-sending out more emails for jobs tonight
-interesting people
-laughing
-plants
-pictures on my phone
-the fashion industry
-connection.
-the feel of the streaming water on my feet at the pedicure place
-nonconformity
-taking things one day at a time
-smiling
-appreciation

[buttercup]

-kind people. more,and more,i meet such wonderful,kind seeming souls and it is really inspiring.
-earning money again
-ideas
-going to my work social today,even though i didn't want to. things like that are key to growth.
-the amazing food at my work social. i loved the hummus,pita,and cooked veggies.
-trying lacroix finally at work social. i had wanted to try it before. it is good.
-heart chakra and theta musics playlist to listen to
-uber. i always find the best deals on there over any other ride-sharing app
-sweaters
-my alo yoga,yoga pants.i love them.
-makeup
-my style
-my eyes
-chlorophyll for helping detox my liver and flatten my stomach
-lavender
-hot tea
-cats
-having next article almost completed and feeling like i'm getting better at writing and more comfortable with it.
-TV episodes online
-naps
-new experiences
-all the paid jobs for march .if all goes according to plan,this could be my highest earning month ever.
-entertainment
-my eyeglasses
-water
-coffee
-sweet soda.
-deep cleansing breaths
-meditation
-getting some flyers made for T cat and S kitten in spanish to try that since my neighborhood and neighborhood S kitten was last in are neighborhoods with a high hispanic population
-sunshine
-all the upcoming work projects
-acccomplishing and manifesting cool things i didn't before
-T kitten and how much he likes to sleep with me. he has a little habit now of climbing on my chest right in front of laptop these days.
-M putting more money in my account for me
-creativity
-feeling more confident in myself in a very genuine way
-yoga
-laughing and funny things. last night,i put on a youtube video of cats meowing for T kitten,and he got startled and jumped off me looking for cats. so funny. lol.
-all the positive possibilities. i see things with such a creative,photographic eye,that i was even having the thought of buying a camera and getting into professional photography for a hobby.
-optimism
-smiling
-being easy on myself
-pronoia
-plants
-inspiration
-gaining some new twitter followers
-manifestation of desires
-the fashion industry
-compassion
-happy stories
-vegan ramen
-all my awesome life experiences i've had
-getting a free cup from my work social today of work logo
-sleeping cats
-amazing music that i can find to have a spiritual connection and inspiring even though it's techno music and probably the last thing to be considered that
-awesome creations
-possible positive signs
-the ability to see

[buttercup]

-water sounds
-naps
-tropical vacation pictures
-having money
-naps
-my stomach being nice and flat
-chlorophyll working nice for detoxing the liver and flattening my stomach
-cleaning
-cats
-a social media post i made accidentally getting me a lot of likes and comments
-being proactive
-newness
-inspiration
-going to my meeting today
-wanderlust
-places i want to check out
-fashion
-pinterest
-twitter
-facebook
-instagram
-the internet
-ordering myself a pizza and fries for dinner as a sort of reward for being proactive lately
-compliments and being flirted with and considered attractive
-makeup
-laughing and funny things
-caring less about what people think these days and how freeing that is
-person i met up with today offering me a ride home today,which was nice especially since uber wanted to charge me almost $30 for some reason
-coffee
--meeting new people and mingling
-coming home and seeing T kitten right on the front steps waiting for me. it both broke my heart yet was absolute adorable all the same. this guy has definitely made himself a house cat.
-putting up another flyer near coffee shop for S kitten since it was near the neighborhood she has last been seen
-life experiences and growing as a person
-music
-making my bed and flipping the mattress
-lavender
-sweaters
-the little heater in my room
-my perfumes
-positive changes and transformation
-physical exercise and doing some hip stretches last night and how good it made me feel today
-the avant-garde
-my inner confidence growing more and more
-all the job offers and confirmations lately
-relaxation
-the crisis help line
-my goals and desires
-my contact today,finding out she already knew of me from my first career and had wanted to work with me before on that which was interesting. once i seen her,i got the strange feeling she may have knew more about me then i thought and then she revealed she had asked her boyfriend if she should tell me if she already knew of me or not or if that would be weird so that was interesting.
-compassion
-being able to see
-sunshine
-self forgiveness
-deep cleansing breaths
-cuteness
-love
-learning
-femininity
-facial exercises

[buttercup]

-cats
-chocolates
-going to whole foods shopping today
-the weather feeling really nice and fresh some parts of the day
-my prada candy perfume. i think this is my most favorite perfume.
-meditating for an hour today. having lots of really great meditative insights starting to come to me after during and in between some visualization sessions
-letting myself feel my feelings. cried several times during and after meditation.
-water
-coffee
-sleep
-being attractive
-unique beauty
-music
-art
-creativity
-music
-having a casting tomorrow
-M agreeing to go to a movie i suggested that i seen a preview for and thought looked interesting
-having great taste in things and style
-doing some work on the website for 2nd business and updating it
-adding more money to my savings
-authenticity
-buying some lacroix which maybe can be something to help me quit soda
-cuteness
-beauty
-fashion
-deciding to go to the gym with M and getting a nice sweat from doing the stairmaster
-deciding to take an extra inderal after a phobia of mine being mentioned and feeling like that was the magic amount,it's the first time since starting that med,that i actually felt a difference.
-hamstring stretches
-ab exercises
-laughing and my sense of humor,and funny things
-deep cleansing breaths
-cute clothes
-positive changes
-hot guys
-life experiences and growing as a person
-my phone
-TV episodes online

[buttercup]

Had a raging panic attack in the early evening. Had slept all day and missed the thing I had to go to today. I felt angry and on edge,but not sure why i was so angry. I just felt so stuck. I couldn't stop crying and shaking. M's husband heard me and came in and talked with me,and prayed and then gave me a pill of some sort. I deactivated one of my social medias for awhile. I started to feel better shortly after. I think I just needed to give myself a break. Shortly after,I felt calm,upbeat,and things started to feel kind of clear..and new.
-M's husband coming in and helping me.
-calming down and mood changing to feeling clearer,and calmer,and more upbeat
-getting that time of the month
-massage. the more i pay attention to my body,it's just strange. my hands and feet had so much tension i noticed tonight,i wonder if perhaps,it's the emotions of earlier made them tense.
-vegan ramen
-deactivating one of my social medias
-water
-sweet soda
-ease
-backbends
-deep cleansing breaths
-the meditative insights from last night
-entertainment
-the internet
-music
-thinking positive
-fashion and style and lots of nice looking things online
-pinterest
-very nice weather today and how great the air felt
-job possibilities
-allowing myself to think more and more about the possibilities of being in a romantic relationship again in my life and how nice that would be when it happens
-yoga pants
-self forgiveness
-medications i took today.
-an interesting and educational article i read tonight
-cleaning up and organizing my closet some more
-inspiration
-starting the next course from the course package i bought online back in january
-my tastes in things
-the things i want to do for fun
-acceptance
-surrender
-reserving another class from the class pack i bought in december
-embracing and allowing imperfection
-cats
-buying 3 bags of cat litter and sending to my mom
-art
-fashion photography
-my eyecolor
-my beauty
-unique beauty
-hairties and my hair barrette
-drinking more water today
-clarity
-having nice teeth
-my lower body getting nice and sculpted and toned from hamstring work

[buttercup]

-doing some shoulder and arm exercises
-la croix as a soda replacement. went a day with no soda and no soda cravings,drinking la croix instead.
-sleep
-space
-deep cleansing breaths
-sunshine
-great weather today
-going to therapy today
-coffee
-going to neighborhood S kitten was last seen and looking for her and putting more flyers up
-the internet
-all the creativity i was feeling yesterday and bunch of creative ideas and joy coming to me
-my eyeglasses
-T kitten
-water
-throat and third eye chakra solfeggios music
-headphones
-tofu
-affirmations
-happy news stories about things similar to what im going through popping up in my reality
-calmness
-getting some more work done on article that's due next. being just about finished with it.
-colors
-my beauty
-style and fashion
-my favorite prada perfume. can't get enough of it lately.
-makeup
-being considered very attractive by others
-finishing up the closet
-happy memories
-gratitude
-having a great body. why in the world does it take hindsight of looking at picture in the past to realize wow,i looked freaking amazing. i talked a bit about my ocd today in therapy.
-getting more emails sent out for jobs
-blankets
-chlorophyll
-happiness
-being easy on myself
-unique beauty
-pinterest
-feeling optimistic
-entertainment
-being appreciated
-inderal
-midol
-my desires and goals
-activating back my facebook
-twitter
-breaks
-instagram
-funny things and laughing
-art
-music
-inspiration
-my phone
-my inner confidence growing more and more
-growing as a person
-healing
-flowers
-dreams come true
-my femininity
-kindness
-ideas
-beauty
-being able to see
-face exercises and face massage
-scalp massage
-smiling
-my cuteness and child-like qualities
-authenticity and nonconformity
-gifts
-compassion
-compassion for self
-awesome meditative insights as well as insights on life and reality
-my talent and accomplishments
-being thin
-clarity
-positive changes
-positive possibilities
-prayer
-acceptance
-surrender

[buttercup]

-not taking any naps today
-inderal
-lemon flavoring
-sweet sodas
-coffee
-emotions
-love
-kindness
-space
-pinterest
-sending some messages to people who expressed concern for me
-sunshine
-sleep
-TV episodes online
-doing a little studying today
-doing a little reading today
-getting a ton of job offers and confirmations lately. i can't remember last time it's been this high..i think i'm learning how to stay that right amount of detached on this topic so it's allowing things to flow
-pinterest
-my eyeglasses
-yoga pants
-T kitten
-compassion
-getting more flyers made for T cat and S kitten this time in french
-etsy
-ideas&concepts
-fun
-laughing
-entertainment
-music
-fashion and style
-beauty
-clarity
-having a clear appreciation for my beauty last night while looking through some pics of myself
-yoga
-following my interests/following my bliss
-sending out more emails today for jobs
-going for a little walk looking for T cat and putting up flyers for her
-my beauty
-plants
-flowers
-the internet
-my phone
-pictures
-being able to see
-my perfumes
-uber offering flat fares package again
-M putting more money into my account
-deep cleansing breaths
-my unique way of looking at things
-colored pencils
-doing some coloring tonight
-newness
-positive changes
-relaxation

[buttercup]

-self forgiveness
-being easy on myself
-vegan ramen
-being almost done with article ive been working on
-becoming more confident
-fruity crispy bites
-ideas
-feeling motivated,passionate,and creative
-all the emails coming in lately
-TV episodes online
-makeup
-my beauty
-beauty
-clarity
-having a nice body
-hamstring stretches
-physical exercise
-the dimmer lights in my room
-laughing
-deep cleansing breaths
-T kitten
-sweet soda
-water
-coffee
-inderal
-deciding to try cutting back on quetiapine
-clean clothes
-optimism
-ideas
-doing some more reading today
-fun
-nonconformity
-excitement for life
-my prada perfume
-my eyes
-pinterest
-music
-fashion and style
-my phone
-manifestation of old desires and growing as a person
-pictures
-being able to see
-compassion
-etsy
-blankets
-sweaters

[buttercup]

Well today was rough. I had some shadiness happen and just lot of a lot the money i was supposed to earn for March. The whole experience made me angry and reminded me why i hate the first career and line of work i ever went into and where a large stem of my issues with trust and self esteem even stem from. When this happened,it instantly shot at my self esteem and made me question myself. I hate that. As i calmed down a bit,I tried to trust all would be well,and sort of observed the experience.i came to realize,it was easy to see how i manifested this one.i was critical of the vibe i got at the training today. before,a coulpe thoughts would flash in my mind about what if they cut one of my days thinking is it too good to be true,and well a few days ago that happened. Then,in the evening I had a few thoughts along the lines of what if they didnt like me and randomly cut me. Sure enough,randomly as heck....that happens. I could go all over the place and put a bunch of concepts in my head such as could others affect my reality/what if it was intuitive hunch,etc,etc, or i could i keep it simple...i thought negatively. After feeling awful,and letting myself take a nap,i woke up and realized,i've just been lazy. I havent wanted to put in the effort of controlling my thoughts a bit. For a variety of reasons..fear of failure to feeling like it's not natural and trying too hard. Maybe i partly allowed this experience into my reality to plain as day see with ease how it was all my thoughts. And,now post nap,i realize it's a fear of failing to control my thoughts combined with wanting my reality to feel free and spontaneous that's made me lazy to control my thoughts. That 2nd part if a misunderstanding of the law of attraction,and the first part is just from traumas in my life. I feel,too though the more we believe in the loa,and even the true nature of reality,the more we SHOULD be able to let things roll off our backs. I've seen so many eerie loa manifestations of how i've changed my reality. I've actually started to have more success with intention manifesting by just easily/naturally giving space in my mind after setting an intention...doing that has given me a lot of easy manifestations and ease. My fear is literally just becoming someone who does a ton of loa processes again just to only intentionally manifest from time to time and to be trying too hard. Also,one of the first thoughts i had after this experience was that i want to go out somewhere in nature so i am going to plan that. So,as much as i'm upset by the loss of a lot of money,and hurt feelings,i am able to see the good in this. And,I did manage to get them to say they'll pay me for today and the tomorrow despite me not going tomorrow now so that's a little something,i suppose and im trying to trust life that maybe something even better for me is going to pop up on those days i was going to work. I think surrender in that sense and acceptance is so key to flow. I still think it's odd to let this roll off my back..but i feel by doing that it just aids in healing whatever inner traumas could lead to some negative manifestations plus there's nothing wrong with being a nonconformist and living differently..by trusting loa,we trust the magic in life,and the power in letting go and flowing. i just also feel like im growing as a person with this attitude and allowing into my life the space to allow more goodness into my life.
-being able to see the good in my experience today and how it manifested
-being told i'll still get paid for two days of work
-feeling petty good about myself almost in a bit of egotistical way at the meeting..i know part of that is "wrong," but am observing that the positive aspects of my confidence growing.
-growing as a person
-uber flat fare package
-unique beauty
-being easy on myself and letting myself just nap after upsetting thing earlier
-sweaters
-music
-la croix
-fashion
-pinterest
-grapeseed oil
-band aids
-how beautiful my city is at night
-vitamin e
-skyscrapers
-laughing at life,funny life moments
-coming to realize life is about trying to do a lot and be ambitious,but at the same time balancing that out with also being easy on yourself and slowing down at times,all the while practice being present and connected.
-getting a high end opportunitity in my email while at my meeting today
-T kitten
-last night,while going through pinterest,and adding pics to my project i wanted to start working on and how healing it was to just start working and that great confidence and creative surge it gave me.i remember last summer,having the thoughts that this is something very special,i should try and take pictures of them. sometimes,it is creativity and outlet of expression that really heals me.
-TV episodes online
-the internet
-short circuiting negative thoughts
-space
-alone time
-being able to see a recent experience in my life as another obvious connection to the loa..this stuff is spookily real.
-experiencing lots of little "glitches in the matrix" type things lately.
-emojis
-deep cleansing breaths

[buttercup]

-crackers
-chlorophyll
-backbends and how amazing they make me feel
-the brownies M got me
-being a pretty positive mood considering what happened yesterday
-water
-coffee
-skipping soda today and having la croix. i feel cleaner and like parts of me are healing when i dont drink soda.
-deep cleansing breaths.
-T kitten
-cute cat pictures
-the internet
-laughing at life
-pinterest
-my confidence growing
-sweaters
-my style
-twitter
-having great taste
-music
-emojis
-my phone
-beauty
-having great curves
-positive changes and evolving and the new person ive been becoming
-beauty ideas
-my eyebrows and how great they look unkempt.ive been debating a way to try and work with the look somehow..on one hand,it looks less groomed,but on the other,very child-like which is my style
-makeup
-beauty products
-all the awesome things i have coming up
-inderal
-self compassion
-facebook
-messages with people on facebook
-cleaning my floor today
-getting my article done and being happy with it
-having nice eyes
-yoga pants
-connection and becoming more connected again
-short circuiting negative thoughts
-my goals and desires

[buttercup]

-sleep
-sweaters
-how cute T kitten looks when he is sleeping
-french language and how charming it looks and sounds
-my personality
-my unique way of being
-new inspirations
-inspiring people
-knowing so many inspiring people
-expressing myself
-music
-being in a nice phase of reinventing myself that is really nice
-positive changes and becoming new
-deep cleansing breaths
-hot guys
-high cheekbones
-dental floss
-my stomach being extremely flat today and finally seeing the little tweaks that are transforming my body for the better
-going around the neighborhood posting more flyers for S kitten and T cat
-my confidence growing
-having nice eyes
-physical exercise and how good it makes me feel
-pinterest
-fashion and style
-my strength
-happy memories
-feeling attractive
-all my accomplishments
-having another casting tomorrow
-makeup
-coffee
-sweet soda
-fudge brownie for breakfast
-being easy on myself and taking things one day at a time
-facebook messages with others
-connection and becoming more connected
-my motivation
-short circuiting negative thoughts
-laughing
-my beauty products
-hand massage
-yoga
-relaxation and relaxation exercises
-the new mouthwash i've been using
-my great taste
-twitter
-facebook
-doing more studying and getting my next certificate for that course
-emojis
-femininity
-having had my dreams come true befor
-compassion
-being brave
-an interesting moment with M coming to talk to me about something.i already knew as her husband had told me about a day ago but i thought it odd she hadnt said anything and had been quieter this week so when she came to me,it seemed like an aha moment kind of explaining something in my head for me and making sense of things.
-pronoia

[dontco]

Hi, lovely! :heart: this is the story from The Power that I mentioned... I thought it may be to long to add to the PM, so I'm just writing it here, hope it's ok! I though this story was very inspiring, I hope you'll like it...
with love,
dontco.


When my family had settled in the United States, we flew our fifteen-year-old dog, Cabbie, to be with us. One night, not long after Cabbie had arrived, he managed to get out of a small gap in the fence. Our home backs onto mountains, so it was far from an ideal situation. In the dark we searched the streets and the trails leading up to the mountains, but our dog was nowhere to be found.
As my daughter and I were searching, negative feelings of anguish began to increase. I knew we had to stop searching and change the way we were feeling inside immediately. The
negative feelings were telling us that we were imagining the worst, and we had to change the way we were feeling quickly and imagine the best. At that point, every possible outcome
could still happen, and we had to choose the outcome of having Cabbie safely home with us, by imagining and feeling that he was home.
We returned home and we pretended our dog was with us. We put food in his bowl as though he were there. We imagined hearing the bell around Cabbie's neck as he walked down our hallway. We talked to him and called out his name, as though he were there. My daughter went to bed imagining that her best friend of fifteen years was sleeping next to her
bed as he always did.
Early the next morning, we discovered a notice on a tree at the foot of the mountains saying that someone had found a Ii ttle dog. It was Cabbie. Just as we had imagined, our dog
returned home safely to us. No matter what changing situation you may find yourself in, imagine the best outcome and feel it! When you do, you will change the circumstances, and you will change ~ the situation into what you want!

[buttercup]

-crackers
-chlorophyll
-water
-coffee
-sweet soda
-believing in the manifestation of my heart's desires
-creativity
-pinterest
-going to the casting today
-sleep
-naps
-laughing
-the hilarious things T kitten does
-messages from dontco
-reflections
-happy memories
-getting out there and doing things even if it's uncomfortable at first
-new experiences
-going to new places
-being in a phase of reinventing myself
-having nice curves
-makeup
-fashion and style
-music
-having great taste in things
-heels
-doing some reading today
-hip opening stretches
-my little 2 lb dumbells in my room and doing some upper body exercises with them today
-acknowledgement of things
-black leggings and yoga pants
-writing down notes for my psychiatrist appointment tomorrow
-twitter
-getting the shout outs from dance studio i work at on article i wrote. that made me feel very good.
-becoming thinner
-getting the cert for the last course i've been studying for
-the internet
-my phone
-cool apps
-my beauty products
-cats
-unique beauty
-photographic moments
-being able to see
-going to whole foods for shopping tonight
-the potatoes i got from the whole foods cold bar.
-hot tea
-deep cleansing breaths
-taking life one day at a time
-being easy on myself
-self compassion
-connection
-the way my eyebrows have been looking lately and new way of doing eyebrow makeup
-learning
-femininity
-the way the air felt today when i sat outside for a few minutes,nice and clean and fresh
-positive possibilities
-relaxation
-my prada candy perfume

[buttercup]

Love it,dontco!

[buttercup]

-creative expression and having a lot of it lately
-deep cleansing breaths
-going to the psychiatrist today
-chlorophyll
-T kitten and how cute he is and how much he makes me laugh
-smiling
-water
-my hazelnut latte i got today
-my style
-fashion
-losing weight and becoming thinner with ease and seeing my body transform to a more likeable ideal
-my curves
-my lower back and venus dimples
-my outdoor cats
-expressing myself and telling my story.
-doing a lot of reading today and getting a good amount out of my current book
-pictures
-going another day without soda with ease and how helpful lacroix is for me with that. i can feel my body detox-ing with ease naturally and it's wonderful.
-my black and white poncho
-being attractive
-my beauty
-emotions and feeling my feelings
-my prada candy perfume
-makeup
-taking a nice warm shower earlier then usual tonight
-sleep
-my bed
-blankets
-getting caught up on a lot of emails
-facebook messages with others
-my eyebrows
-seeing my stomach flatten out and how gratifying it is to heal that problem
-stretches
-cosy clothing
-great art
-an agency seeming really eager to book me for a job without auditioning and the possibility of that happening now
-the recent job confirmations and offers still circulating around
-compassion
-inspiration and inspiring people
-music
-being able to feel
-the internet
-my hair barrette
-feeling my body getting stronger
-feeling like my eyesight has improved a little bit
-reinvention