Begeegs AP Journal

[Begeegs1]

8-7

I have been getting up quite regularly during the week at 4am to practice. I also have started energy raising exercises. So far, due to the dedicated practice, this along with energy raising has yielded results straight away. One being, that I am having more lucid dreams, or dreams involving astral projection.

Unfortunately, this morning I fell asleep and dreamed of a couple of things which I ended up translating via a Jungian method to me actually being too flippant with my mind and trying too many different things.

However, this is from yesterday -

This morning was the best yet. I do need ear plugs though. The doves got very annoying this morning, but when I finally got uninterrupted silence, I got results. I had vibrations, but I think that I may have fallen asleep – it is very difficult to say because I distinctly remember the vibrations happening and feeling my arms starting to float and then legs. I said ‘Door now’ and felt some movement, but I couldn’t see at all. I felt as thought I was still on my back, so I said ‘Stand now’ and felt like I may have been in front of the window, but still couldn’t see. I felt that the sun was on me through the window. I opened my eyes and my physical eyes opened, but for a split second, I could also see from a different perspective. I decided to try again.

I am not sure what happened, but I felt like I was above the city a few minutes later and flying a bit. I ended up in what appeared to be a waiting room in a doctors office. This changed to a dream – which became lucid.

I think that the first was definitely AP, but the second was more lucid dreaming. My awareness in the second was more like a dream, so I don't think that it was AP. Anyway - hope to have more successes to come.

[CFTraveler]

I think it was AP. Lucid dreams are astral projections, you know. They're not 'out of body' experiences, but they are astral projections.
ps. The next time you get out without vision try to move away from your body via tactile or space sensing, and when far enough the vision will come back.
Good job.

[Begeegs1]

I have read that too, CF, but I think that when you are in a lucid dream, the awareness seems very heavy at times (or maybe I should say it varies from heavy to very clear), so I think that I forget some things - like demanding awareness or looking for my body. In this instance, I did do exactly that (I was in Rio around a bunch of restaurants and became lucid), but with so much dream imagery around, I wasn't successful. It turned into a dream where I was late for work (which I wasn't), so I ended up waking up.

Regarding the getting away from your body: I wonder if it is then where I practice my exit, or visualize the other room as I am not really sure how I would be able to sense it. In this instance, I said 'door now' and I must have moved, but not very much as when I woke up the split sight was only very slight. Anyway - thank you for the feedback :-)

My diary entry for last night is a blank as I didn't practice. I think that I had too many early mornings and late evenings (I practice magic as well) which have caught up with me. But I feel refreshed and ready to go again as a result.

[CFTraveler]

Regarding the getting away from your body: I wonder if it is then where I practice my exit, or visualize the other room as I am not really sure how I would be able to sense it. In this instance, I said 'door now' and I must have moved, but not very much as when I woke up the split sight was only very slight. Anyway - thank you for the feedback :-) A way to practice this is to get a feel for your room with your eyes closed- try to 'feel' the space, and if it's safe to do, close your eyes, sit (or lay down) in your usual practice spot and try to find your way around with your eyes closed, at least as far as the door (or opening). If you can do this, the next time you project blind it'll be much easier to get around the room- and your spatial vision will develop also.
Ok, I'll stop commenting on your journal. ;)

[Begeegs1]

9-7

I did a practice this morning and woke up as usual around 4 am. I fell asleep sadly and the dream turned lucid, but with only primal awareness like trying to impress people with flying and beating up baddies. A bit superhero-like, I guess.

I was under the blankets this time and I think that on top of the blankets somehow reinforces the fact that I am not going to sleep, so that will be my method going forward. Perhaps this won't lend to sleep as a result.

[Begeegs1]

11-7

I started to get the over-tired leg thing this morning and really was quite tired, so I am now going to drop this to maybe 2/3 time on weekdays and both weekend days. I ended up moving to the side and felt vibrations – they were slight. I tried to move them and concentrate on them, but I fell asleep – still promising because of being on my side and feeling the vibrations. Last night after relaxing the whole body, I did fall asleep on my back.

[Begeegs1]

14-7

I did a meditation this Sat and am finding getting up at 4 AM pointless if I can’t attain my body falling asleep although that being said, it was also the closest that I have come to an actual projection, so I should also keep going. I found a different level to my meditations which is more of a relaxed concentration because if I do not do this, I can be concentrating too much so that hypnagogia never comes.

Sunday – I didn’t practice and Monday morning, I continued the 4 am meditation, but never really had any deep relaxation occur, although I was pretty relaxed considering that I had been asleep for about 5 hours, but no sensation came. I moved to my side to continue the practice, but feel asleep. I did dream with some hint of lucidity, but not much.

[Begeegs1]

16-7

The last couple of days, I have tried to do some practice before I went to bed. I had nice sensations on Monday night with this, but last night, I ended up falling asleep :-(

This morning I had my next session of the 4 am wakeup practice. Initially, I had some restlessness in my legs, but it was quite minor so I continued. Eventually, I had some decent vibration in the body and started to a energy bounce which more or less ruined the experience. I believe that I am going to have to let nature take its course. I kept at for a bit longer and had milder sensations, but nothing like before. After a little longer, I abandoned the effort. Not bad :-)

[Begeegs1]

As I think that some of my issues with evening projects are lack of proper relaxation, I did another Hemi-Sync relaxation last night, but because of the restless leg, this didn’t last very long. I believe that I made it in about 30 minutes before having to abandon. I do think that I was in a light trance as I could feel elements of my astral hands move slightly, but the leg thing got in to the way. I didn’t get up this morning which would have been additional for the week anyway (as I only attempt in the wee hours 3 times a week on weekdays). I have tomorrow to look forward to.

[Begeegs1]

18-7
I didn't have vibrations, but reached a level of relaxation which felt like I was heavy and light. I found that after I did the rolling exercise that my muscles clenched up even a little which was the sensation that I was experiencing. When i went back to the normal mediation and watching the images, it was better. It felt like this is still the way to go.


19-7
I didn't have vibrations, but reached a level of relaxation which felt like I was heavy and light. I found that after I did the rolling exercise that my muscles clenched up even a little which was the sensation that I was experiencing. When i went back to the normal mediation and watching the images, it was better. It felt like this is still the way to go for now. I think that if I let this happen and watch the images and let myself go into the images for a bit and pull myself out and repeat - this should allow me to eventually get to the stage of having other symptoms - then i can attempt a technique. I believe that I got confused on when to apply the technique.


20-7
I did two meditations with HemiSync Condition A - one on Saturday and another today. The first one took was harder to keep awake in and the second one was much better. In the second, I initially saw a woman jump over me and the bed was behind me. Also, I saw other people around me. This was overall quite good. I look forward to doing this for most of the rest of the week.


21-7
I woke up at 2:30 this morning to meditate. At first, I thought that I would go back to sleep, but the thought in my mind was that I would meditate when I woke up, so I did. I did have to get through a bout with the restless legs, but I believe that it was just on the threshold of being uncomfortable. I moved a bit to get comfortable, perhaps too much. I never got to sleep state and after one hour, I was relaxed, but not enough for hypnogogia.
I did another hemisync before bed and this time, I was able to maintain awareness pretty much throughout Condition A. I will keep going with this as this is very handy when I am not massively tired for a nap.

[Begeegs1]

The last few days, I got up to Condition B in HemiSync for the evenings and got to decent level of relaxation. I stimulated chakras before stopping after about 1 hour.

This morning, I woke up at 2:30 AM and went to meditate in the other room, but immediately thought of aliens (when I was quite young, I read a bit of Whitley Strieber's Communion and it scared the crap out of me. Been reoccurring nightmare material every since) and had fear, so went back to my own bedroom where I got to the beginnings of trance however, my wife was tossing and turning, so I wasn’t able to continue. I tried stimulating the little ticks and tried to focus straight ahead. I also successfully ignored restless leg as now I understand that it is my physical body trying to sleep.

[Begeegs1]

Woof - my wife gave birth and have had my hands very full, so no practice. Hopefully I can start this week. :-)

I have made it to Condition C/D with HemiSync which has more or less given me the restless leg thing. It also is incredibly difficult to stay awake during either of the two. I have to use these to drown out sounds in the house at the moment, but I suspect that will change soon and I will have the 4 am wake ups shortly once readjusted time wise.

I also have been reading Kurt Leland which I learned from this forum. Great book and I will probably adopt some of his methods.

[CFTraveler]

Begeegs- perhaps you should talk to Mr. Strieber about your fear- if you read his diary, you may discover that he has changed his mind or rather, gone beyond the fear of the experience and has found his spirituality through them, instead of 'in spite of' them. This might make you feel better.

[Begeegs1]

Thanks CF - I think that I more or less faced this anyway. I think that they are challenges for me to overcome these fears before I move forward. I have had similar things after this, but it hasn't bothered me. Now I don't see these, but I have other issues now :-)

18-8

Finally able to begin again. However, it seems to be back to square one, sadly. I had the restless leg thing which really disrupts the meditations or even trying to fall asleep. I probably did 20-30 minutes of this 'pressure' before stopping. I think that it occurs when I am very tired and potentially because I am in my bed (albeit facing the other way to discern between sleep and practice) - but I may try a bit more with this to see if the pressure dissipates or changing to a sort of reclining chair.

That being said, it is good to be back practicing again :-)

[Begeegs1]

I laid down to have a meditation last night and had restless legs again. This is really starting to ruin any meditation attempts that I am having. I try to persevere, but the restlessness goes up my legs to my torso and it is difficult to concentrate.

I woke up early to the same thing this morning. I found that there appears to be a medical condition for this which I was unaware about. There appears to be a link between this and caffeine, so looks like I am going to have to quit it. Probably for the best.

[IA56]

I laid down to have a meditation last night and had restless legs again. This is really starting to ruin any meditation attempts that I am having. I try to persevere, but the restlessness goes up my legs to my torso and it is difficult to concentrate.

I woke up early to the same thing this morning. I found that there appears to be a medical condition for this which I was unaware about. There appears to be a link between this and caffeine, so looks like I am going to have to quit it. Probably for the best.

Hi Begeegs1,
When I get cramps in my legs or other parts of my body I take pure salt, not much but little and drink a big glass of water, after some half minut it will be gone.

Love
ia

[Begeegs1]

Thanks ia - I have started to take Vitamin B as it seemed closely related to some deficiencies that I experienced. So far, no more restless leg. Apparently, it is a medical issue and I have had it for as long as I can remember, but only now have really looked at it.

Anyway - I have resumed practice as my in-laws have now exited the building and the new born has slowly gotten into a bit of a habit sleeping now. Unfortunately, I lost some concentration, so I fell asleep last night - haha. I will have to build up stamina and hopefully get back to where i was pre-baby. But at least I am posting again! :-)

[Begeegs1]

12-9

Ok - I am back again. The little one is sleeping a little better, so I am trying a couple of things. One which was just a third eye focus which was successful with me getting two different perspectives (an Etheric perspective) and also trying the when I wake up in the night, don't move, but try swinging or another technique (unless i have to use the toilet).

So although no projection happened last night, I did have a lucid dream where I did project. The dream itself before this was quite revealing with my work. The lucid dream, I think that I need to somehow program myself to do certain things other than the usual (flying). I asked if I needed to be somewhere, when i was dragged to a neighborhood setting. At this point, I was losing lucidity. Not much really happened that was unusual. I believe that I am going to have to explore how to turn lucidity to an AP.

[Begeegs1]

15-9

Unfortunately, nothing new over the weekend :-( Just a couple of dreams despite some other efforts. I implemented some verbal reality checks (what am I doing, where am I) during the day, but expect that it will take a couple of weeks for those to kick in.

[Begeegs1]

I forgot that in a meditation yesterday, I experienced someone going into great detail (just audio) of how things worked. I wish that I could remember more of this because it was very detailed an in everyday speak rather than symbolic speak (which I get sometimes).

[dontco]

12-9

I believe that I am going to have to explore how to turn lucidity to an AP.
Dear Begeegs, I usually project from an LD so I thought that maybe I can help and save you the research :-) I didn't check into it too much, but maybe you can try what works for me- either try your OBE exit technique during the LD or what I did at the beginning- I woke myself up from the LD on purpose and then tried my technique, it usually works for me :-) Good luck!

[CFTraveler]

I usually just fly away from the environment I was in- that usually 'shifts me' into the collective astral environment, or if I want to have a realtime OBE I just 'feel' for my body, and when I become conscious of being in it, just do an exit technique.
Similar enough.

[Begeegs1]

Thanks CF and Dontco - Thanks for the hints. I haven't ever had an etheric projection, but plenty of lucid dreams. I am trying the awareness techniques alot and trying really to improve my level of consciousness during the day. While I am not opposed to having an etheric projection (to RTZ), if I don't have one and can project in other ways, that is fine too :-)

From reading Qabalistic texts as well as ones relating to OBEs - mastering the astral plane sounds more and more about conquering your emotions or having an equilibrium within those emotions. There are good emotions like empathy/sympathy, but quite a lot of them are also stupid and/or childish. Well, for one day, I have done well with the new practices. Hopefully that will continue :-)

This morning, I tried something new on the train which was mainly focusing on the black behind the eyes. This actually brought about hypnagogic imagery - scenes where I watched people do things. One was speaking with a woman with short red hair at some sort of an event. I also saw a young bald guy with a hoodie walking at a train station. He wore high heel womens shoes, but on second glance, they were normal trainers. :-)

My problem at the moment is that I have to bridge a gap: On one side, there is the consciousness aspect, which if I am too conscious, the images stop and I am awake. The other side is too close to the imagery in which my conscious almost immerses into a dream.

I am thinking that by exercising this, that the gap can be filled which will allow me to seamlessly enter into the scene. At the moment, I probably need more practice, but this morning was more encouraging.

[Begeegs1]

18-9

Still playing with hypnagogic imagery. Being a commuter in London, I can do this on the train everyday, but today (as I was looking after my 2 month year old last night) I was more tired than usual. However, I did have some lucidity, but the experience ended with me succumbing to carnal thoughts :-( That being said, I think that the more focus that I am putting in my waking life with controlling emotion and not trying to be an idiot will slowly filter over into the NP world. I have evidence that this is already happening with the past couple of nights with dreams and the lucid portion this morning.

[Begeegs1]

23-9

Back to more practice and did have an interesting experience with a dream which seemed to turn into sleep paralysis. This hasn't happened for a while, but I was in a dream which ended with me in a room trying to sleep. A shadowy figure was suddenly standing over me and touching my chest. I understood that this was to do with the magical order that I belong to and I started to reflect on free will/good/evil, however then started to feel a bit scared of this figure and tried to fight him off, but couldn't move. I then found myself waking up and kicking the air which made me laugh :-)

[CFTraveler]

Wiggle your big toe which will break paralysis and get up afterwards. When I was going through this it's what I did.

[Begeegs1]

Thanks CF. I will remember that. I don't get SP often at all (in fact, I can't remember the last time that I had it).

25-9

I went lucid in a dream in which I was walking with someone through a neighborhood. I decided to enter a house to see who was there. At first, this could have gone carnal again, but there wasn't anyone home. I began using a technique which basically is commenting to myself on everything that I do for awareness. At a time, this awareness was pretty good. I still feel that some of this doesn't include my full waking thought process as I then asked if there was somewhere that I should be. In this instance, I would have probably done something completely different, but am happy that the new technique worked very well. I believe that I was in a kitchen and heard a noise from upstairs. When I went upstairs, there wasn't anyone there. One of the rooms looked like a converted attic. I think that my concentration began to wane at this point.

[Begeegs1]

Sadly, no new experiences. I am revamping my practice a bit. Finally, I am slowly understanding the nature of Hypnagogic imagery and how I should be approaching this. Also, I feel that with the help of other books that there is really no difference from Lucid Dreaming versus WILD versus OBE. The small difference would be the nature of your own consciousness within that realm. At least that is my understanding now.

With that in mind, and some newer practices (new reality checks that have now filtered over to the astral), I think that I am now even better equipped and realizing that I have probably been involved in OBEs for a long time, but just not to the level of consciousness that others have had and without the conscious WILD/Etheric OBE projection.

So after years of thinking that things were beyond me or I was doing things wrong, I was just over-thinking it. Now on to simplifying my practice.

[Begeegs1]

13-10

I have started with an OBE coach, Graham Nicholls. I have been doing this for a little under a week now and so far, it has been slowly progressing again. I have discovered that I like listening to pinkish noise to drown out outside sounds. This has worked well. I did experiment with a Kasina (light/sound machine), but preliminary tests weren't great, so I shelved this for now until the coaching has subsided.

One thing which I wondered was if you do not have vibrations, how would one know that it is ok to start the exit technique?

[Begeegs1]

Been a while since I posted here. I have been continuing in my pursuit and have come a little closer, but I believe that flooding myself with subliminals, reality checks, etc as well as practice is paying off. I have a method which I am using - I start the night with a 3rd eye concentration. When I am drifting off to sleep, I am trying to Phase with hynagogia (which is a lot harder), but I am probably going to change this to focusing on being somewhere else in the room. I wake up in the night and have been using my AVS Kasina without the sound.

I have been gaining some reward slowly for this, but I suspect that it will pay off more with more efforts. My lucidity in dreams is picking up, however, at the moment, they are firmly stuck in the gutter with sexual and stupid material interests rather than anything more substantial. However, at least I am beginning to have them, so this is going in the right direction slowly, but surely.

[CFTraveler]

A little late to answer the question from two posts ago, but I don't get vibes, but I know when I'm ready when my consciousness becomes 'extra sharp', I start seeing through the eyelids or see landscapes. Especially if they start receding. Then I know I'm on my way and try to use the symptom- pick the technique to go with the symptom.