question about shame/guilt

[dirge32]

A big part of the attacks I get cause me to feel shame and guilt. Entities sometimes attack other people on there own in ways that make me feel responsible, and they also cause me to do bad things. they frequently often bring up things trom the past to make me feel upset. Blocking them out (the entities) with versicles and attention shifts do not help because the entities take up the whole of my mind while I say and do these things. Sometimes I can not even hear myself saying the versicles in my mind.

i know its a big question, but does anyone have any idea how I might deal with all this guilt and shame? Also,I know therapy might help a bit, but it seems like most therapists dont seem to understand the reality of this problem.

[IA56]

A big part of the attacks I get cause me to feel shame and guilt. Entities sometimes attack other people on there own in ways that make me feel responsible, and they also cause me to do bad things. they frequently often bring up things trom the past to make me feel upset. Blocking them out (the entities) with versicles and attention shifts do not help because the entities take up the whole of my mind while I say and do these things. Sometimes I can not even hear myself saying the versicles in my mind.

i know its a big question, but does anyone have any idea how I might deal with all this guilt and shame? Also,I know therapy might help a bit, but it seems like most therapists dont seem to understand the reality of this problem.

Hi dirge32,
As far as I know is self-awareness and relesing bundent energy from negative memories what holds much of your energy bundent, as you have relesed all or much of bundent energy from one of your memories similar happenings you are undergoing throug the attacks, the attacks is reveling what way you should look, what memories you must find...and when you find one memory, you have to feel, and this is the tricky part, to stay and breath through the feeling without loosing your in it....when you are able to see the reason why this had to happen to you...you will see the reason for everyone involved in this happening from all peoples perspective and you get knowledge....this will relese the guilt and shame...and when you get to understand the depth or the why...then the attacks will end...all attacking will be there as long as you solve the core issue.
You will meet people who will treat you in diffent way but same subject so to speak but from many different angles so you will understand and can find the core happening and relese it to knowledge.
I send suppport and love to you.
Keep up the good work.

Love
ia

[dirge32]

Hi dirge32,
As far as I know is self-awareness and relesing bundent energy from negative memories what holds much of your energy bundent, as you have relesed all or much of bundent energy from one of your memories similar happenings you are undergoing throug the attacks, the attacks is reveling what way you should look, what memories you must find...and when you find one memory, you have to feel, and this is the tricky part, to stay and breath through the feeling without loosing your in it....when you are able to see the reason why this had to happen to you...you will see the reason for everyone involved in this happening from all peoples perspective and you get knowledge....this will relese the guilt and shame...and when you get to understand the depth or the why...then the attacks will end...all attacking will be there as long as you solve the core issue.
You will meet people who will treat you in diffent way but same subject so to speak but from many different angles so you will understand and can find the core happening and relese it to knowledge.
I send suppport and love to you.
Keep up the good work.

Love
ia

Thank you for responding. Do you have any advice for finding the reason or purouse for it all? I am having difficulties with my intuition.

[IA56]

Thank you for responding. Do you have any advice for finding the reason or purouse for it all? I am having difficulties with my intuition.

Hi dirge32, I do not know but I know to start with I have to know the happening of the attack...in what situation you are facing when it happens...and what it awakes in you. If you do not want to take this open here then PM me and we try it from there. I have never done this Before so I do not know if I can find the core reason, but I sure feel it is interesting to me too to get the opportunity to try :-) thank you

Love
ia

[eyeoneblack]

I'd take her up on that offer, dirge. BTW she has done it before, and I am eternally grateful. :)

[CFTraveler]

I suggest you try the Core Image Removal method, which is stickied somewhere around here.
Here it is:
http://www.astraldynamics.com.au/content.php?415-Core-Image-Removal

A good therapist would help you if you tell them that you feel guilty about the issues as if you had dreamed them. Then, depending on what kind of school they specialized in, they might have something to offer.

[IA56]

I'd take her up on that offer, dirge. BTW she has done it before, and I am eternally grateful. :)

It was different with you Richard..thank your for telling it did help you, great....but....dirge32 is Another case...

Love
ia

[dirge32]

It was reccomended that I start writing how i feel and how the past has effected me. And in addition to that i have begun using prayers to release trapped emotions and to dissolve beliefs. I appologize if this post seems weird and even pathetic, as things are very weird and that is how my life has become.

I got up the nerve to start a journal after becoming very frusturated and spending a whole night afraid and not able move my bed for fear of the telepathy- that i'd upset the neg and the neg would upset others. When I got the journal and wrote in it, the neg said it was brodcasting my thoughts out to the people they related to. I began to develop a careless sort of attitude, as the i ching (or at least what negs maniputated the iching to say) said that this was a good thing, and that though my behaviour would be considered selfish, it was for the bennifit of all. The writing was very cartharthic, and it was like getting a weight off my shoulder. The neg put these sounds of one of the people i cared about crying hyserically when i wrote about something. I contunued, and continued, felt big releases of repressed emotions, and then began to take a salt bath, got out, and burned some insence.

At one point, afterwards I had turned on an album. I merely wanted music and did not associate the album with anything more than good music. The idea to put the album on may have beem put in my mind by the neg, or it could have come from somewhere else, i don't know.

When i played the album I began to see it differenty and each of the songs now related to my situation. It became the most meaningful album I'd ever listened to. And It was litereally like each song in the album was written for me, which felt like a gesture of compassion by the universe. And the songs also related to the one person who was on my mind and who i had possibly made suffer greatly because of my actions (writing and things and in the past), and the actions of the neg. The neg caimed to be brodcasting songs into her mind. But still, through out the album and every single song on it, i cried tears of joy since it was all so simialr, so uplifitng, and so freeing, and i also began to feel deeply embarised at certain points. I thought it to be an indication that I was getting ready for the next stage of my life, and that i was going to get better.

The songs had thoughts, possibly being brodcasted into her mind, that would have implied that i was moving on from speaking to her, that i, from her perspective, was annoyed with her, and messages about how one should not be supprised for the leaving of another. A certain song contained chants of the lyrics, "she knows.." And at the end, the song, A little better, among the last lyrics were, "Take your time. What would you say if you knew you was dying.... Take your time. What would be on your mind if you knew you was dying."

At first I thought this last quote could have been the absolute indication that what I was doing was a good idea. Then this notion or feeling disentegrated when I remembered a healer said my life's purpouse was to get through what i was going through (i don't know if he ment there was anything else later.) And then a hard and painful idea, like or much like an intuition wedged itself into my mind, skull, and body- that this very well is what I am hear to do. I do hope there is more afterwards, that the idea comes just from the negs, but at that moment I absolutly broke down-- I broke down and began to sob and to cry hysterically. I began to think that I would never get to become a healer or a musican, and that I was just here to struggle my whole life and then die. Then the thought came that I would not be able to do what it was I must, which was remove the negs--if it indeed is what i must, with this horrible meaningless emptiness. At that point I then asked for an abulance to be driven to my door. I ended up in a hospital, and am now in a psych ward.

And in it all there is this looming terror regarding that me putting my thoughts out that caused so much suffering and embarisment for people, and that someone, possibly my hs, decided to cut off my plan and to shove me in here, this mental hospital, so that I would no longer cause others to suffer.

There is deep meaningless in my situation. There have been many contrived synchronicities and coincidences. Everything i do makes things worse. It seems like I am an automation now, my reality is an automation, and so are the voices and the negs in my life. Nothing is what it seems, and everythig acts like a stupid machine. The slightest mistakes and the slightest slopiness seems to reflect back often as horrible and painful suffering and even physical injuries. i do not know what do to.

I don't know if anyone can give any advice for my situation, or if you might be able to reccomend someone who can. but if you can say anything at all, i do hope it would help.
-josh

[newfreedom]

It was reccomended that I start writing how i feel and how the past has effected me. And in addition to that i have begun using prayers to release trapped emotions and to dissolve beliefs. I appologize if this post seems weird and even pathetic, as things are very weird and that is how my life has become.

Weird... ?..yes ! .....pathetic.... ?....no..
I too have experienced alot of the weirdness you decribe


I got up the nerve to start a journal after becoming very frusturated and spending a whole night afraid and not able move my bed for fear of the telepathy- that i'd upset the neg and the neg would upset others. When I got the journal and wrote in it, the neg said it was brodcasting my thoughts out to the people they related to. I began to develop a careless sort of attitude, as the i ching (or at least what negs maniputated the iching to say) said that this was a good thing, and that though my behaviour would be considered selfish, it was for the bennifit of all. The writing was very cartharthic, and it was like getting a weight off my shoulder. The neg put these sounds of one of the people i cared about crying hyserically when i wrote about something. I contunued, and continued, felt big releases of repressed emotions, and then began to take a salt bath, got out, and burned some insence.

At one point, afterwards I had turned on an album. I merely wanted music and did not associate the album with anything more than good music. The idea to put the album on may have beem put in my mind by the neg, or it could have come from somewhere else, i don't know.

When i played the album I began to see it differenty and each of the songs now related to my situation. It became the most meaningful album I'd ever listened to. And It was litereally like each song in the album was written for me, which felt like a gesture of compassion by the universe. And the songs also related to the one person who was on my mind and who i had possibly made suffer greatly because of my actions (writing and things and in the past), and the actions of the neg. The neg caimed to be brodcasting songs into her mind. But still, through out the album and every single song on it, i cried tears of joy since it was all so simialr, so uplifitng, and so freeing, and i also began to feel deeply embarised at certain points. I thought it to be an indication that I was getting ready for the next stage of my life, and that i was going to get better.

The songs had thoughts, possibly being brodcasted into her mind, that would have implied that i was moving on from speaking to her, that i, from her perspective, was annoyed with her, and messages about how one should not be supprised for the leaving of another. A certain song contained chants of the lyrics, "she knows.." And at the end, the song, A little better, among the last lyrics were, "Take your time. What would you say if you knew you was dying.... Take your time. What would be on your mind if you knew you was dying."

i have experienced these types of experiences & they can be 'all consuming'


At first I thought this last quote could have been the absolute indication that what I was doing was a good idea. Then this notion or feeling disentegrated when I remembered a healer said my life's purpouse was to get through what i was going through (i don't know if he ment there was anything else later.) And then a hard and painful idea, like or much like an intuition wedged itself into my mind, skull, and body- that this very well is what I am hear to do. I do hope there is more afterwards, that the idea comes just from the negs, but at that moment I absolutly broke down-- I broke down and began to sob and to cry hysterically. I began to think that I would never get to become a healer or a musican, and that I was just here to struggle my whole life and then die. Then the thought came that I would not be able to do what it was I must, which was remove the negs--if it indeed is what i must, with this horrible meaningless emptiness. At that point I then asked for an abulance to be driven to my door. I ended up in a hospital, and am now in a psych ward.

It's ok to ask for 'outside' /others HELP, i had to do this sooo many times...


And in it all there is this looming terror regarding that me putting my thoughts out that caused so much suffering and embarisment for people, and that someone, possibly my hs, decided to cut off my plan and to shove me in here, this mental hospital, so that I would no longer cause others to suffer.

Again, i also have had similiar type experiences with the telepathy aspects, thoughts, connectedness to others & the reality. Being in the mental hospital can have it's place & can help at times...


There is deep meaningless in my situation. There have been many contrived synchronicities and coincidences. Everything i do makes things worse. It seems like I am an automation now, my reality is an automation, and so are the voices and the negs in my life. Nothing is what it seems, and everythig acts like a stupid machine. The slightest mistakes and the slightest slopiness seems to reflect back often as horrible and painful suffering and even physical injuries. i do not know what do to.

yes, i have experienced these types of effects / experiences also


I don't know if anyone can give any advice for my situation, or if you might be able to reccomend someone who can. but if you can say anything at all, i do hope it would help.
-josh

My simple advice would be, based on my own experience of being in similar stuff ... 'do whatever you can to 'get through' what you have to without causing 'harm' to yourself or others'. i found stating my intention not to harm others helped me with the overwhelming terror that i might hurt another un-intentionally or unknowingly (that would help to ease the mental / telepathy side of things at times)

Sometimes the medication that the hospital provided would help ease things for me, & give me some much needed respite...

i hope things ease for you soon & you move into a more 'live-able' space :grouphug:

[IA56]

Josh,
It does not help you a bit to let the stress and fear take you.
You have to start to build up a strong self image so you know at least a bit who you are. And concentrate only on the positive qualities you have or want to have.
As I told you my story, even I knew that I was not all that negative or bad my relatives did say about me, as a small Child I Always said in my mind when someone adult did Project their anger or short commings on me and I did know I did not desereve it, I said to my self...NO your are wrong, I am not at all bad, I am kind.
When you have a strong self image then you can start to Think how all this negativity has affected you, as I told you my story about how I did find out the big lie in my Life. My mother had Always said that I have never bean to hospital that I am the helthiest Child that all my 3 sibblings has bean at hospital, I felt this was not true but I did not understand what was wrong, so when I started to work with memories about why I have such a huge mistrust ....I did find the memory me being to hospital and I was 1 year and 4 month´s age...when I did find this memory, my father was carrying me and I was looking down on my mother, she was looking with angry Eyes at me....and I did feel fear....I asked my mother where has I bean in a elevator, then she cried and told me that I was dying by an epidemic many childre did die...and they where to take me home from hospital, I asked why did you look with so angry Eyes at me...she said that I bullieng her by saying Pekka...because that I was teasing her as the rest of the relatives of my father that maybe my father is not my father but my uncle (fathers brother)

So I am not a teacher or anyone who can guide ...but I can tell my stories how I did work to solve my issues...it has bean hard work I can tell, but do not ever give up...

Find methods to keep your focus on positive things...never trust anything negative....find ways to turn a negative thought to positive...and you will very soon start to feel better.

If it is only you who Think you are good it is enough, it is the most important thing what you Think about your self!!

Love
ia

[dirge32]

I am wondering if anyone can provide further intuitive impressions concerning my situation. The situation seems to be very different now from the one I wrote to you about months ago. I did end up becoming possessed by an entity (different than the one I wrote to about originally, i think) at a certain point and had many near death experiences but I am still here, so I am inclined to think that that means I am going to stay.
Can anyone please provide intuitive and/or clairvoiant impressions regarding what you think the solution or core issue is now? Much of the day I experience attacks, lessened than before, by a voice that claims to be a spirit that is attached to my mother. I do not know if this is true. If you could help by providing intuitive impressions about next steps I might take, weather this is a spirit from my mother or not, i would be very grateful.

[IA56]

I am wondering if anyone can provide further intuitive impressions concerning my situation. The situation seems to be very different now from the one I wrote to you about months ago. I did end up becoming possessed by an entity (different than the one I wrote to about originally, i think) at a certain point and had many near death experiences but I am still here, so I am inclined to think that that means I am going to stay.
Can anyone please provide intuitive and/or clairvoiant impressions regarding what you think the solution or core issue is now? Much of the day I experience attacks, lessened than before, by a voice that claims to be a spirit that is attached to my mother. I do not know if this is true. If you could help by providing intuitive impressions about next steps I might take, weather this is a spirit from my mother or not, i would be very grateful.

How is your relationship to your mother?

Love
ia

[John Sorensen]

It was reccomended that I start writing how i feel and how the past has effected me. And in addition to that i have begun using prayers to release trapped emotions and to dissolve beliefs. I appologize if this post seems weird and even pathetic, as things are very weird and that is how my life has become.

I got up the nerve to start a journal after becoming very frusturated and spending a whole night afraid and not able move my bed for fear of the telepathy- that i'd upset the neg and the neg would upset others. When I got the journal and wrote in it, the neg said it was brodcasting my thoughts out to the people they related to. I began to develop a careless sort of attitude, as the i ching (or at least what negs maniputated the iching to say) said that this was a good thing, and that though my behaviour would be considered selfish, it was for the bennifit of all. The writing was very cartharthic, and it was like getting a weight off my shoulder. The neg put these sounds of one of the people i cared about crying hyserically when i wrote about something. I contunued, and continued, felt big releases of repressed emotions, and then began to take a salt bath, got out, and burned some insence.

At one point, afterwards I had turned on an album. I merely wanted music and did not associate the album with anything more than good music. The idea to put the album on may have beem put in my mind by the neg, or it could have come from somewhere else, i don't know.

When i played the album I began to see it differenty and each of the songs now related to my situation. It became the most meaningful album I'd ever listened to. And It was litereally like each song in the album was written for me, which felt like a gesture of compassion by the universe. And the songs also related to the one person who was on my mind and who i had possibly made suffer greatly because of my actions (writing and things and in the past), and the actions of the neg. The neg caimed to be brodcasting songs into her mind. But still, through out the album and every single song on it, i cried tears of joy since it was all so simialr, so uplifitng, and so freeing, and i also began to feel deeply embarised at certain points. I thought it to be an indication that I was getting ready for the next stage of my life, and that i was going to get better.

The songs had thoughts, possibly being brodcasted into her mind, that would have implied that i was moving on from speaking to her, that i, from her perspective, was annoyed with her, and messages about how one should not be supprised for the leaving of another. A certain song contained chants of the lyrics, "she knows.." And at the end, the song, A little better, among the last lyrics were, "Take your time. What would you say if you knew you was dying.... Take your time. What would be on your mind if you knew you was dying."

At first I thought this last quote could have been the absolute indication that what I was doing was a good idea. Then this notion or feeling disentegrated when I remembered a healer said my life's purpouse was to get through what i was going through (i don't know if he ment there was anything else later.) And then a hard and painful idea, like or much like an intuition wedged itself into my mind, skull, and body- that this very well is what I am hear to do. I do hope there is more afterwards, that the idea comes just from the negs, but at that moment I absolutly broke down-- I broke down and began to sob and to cry hysterically. I began to think that I would never get to become a healer or a musican, and that I was just here to struggle my whole life and then die. Then the thought came that I would not be able to do what it was I must, which was remove the negs--if it indeed is what i must, with this horrible meaningless emptiness. At that point I then asked for an abulance to be driven to my door. I ended up in a hospital, and am now in a psych ward.

And in it all there is this looming terror regarding that me putting my thoughts out that caused so much suffering and embarisment for people, and that someone, possibly my hs, decided to cut off my plan and to shove me in here, this mental hospital, so that I would no longer cause others to suffer.

There is deep meaningless in my situation. There have been many contrived synchronicities and coincidences. Everything i do makes things worse. It seems like I am an automation now, my reality is an automation, and so are the voices and the negs in my life. Nothing is what it seems, and everythig acts like a stupid machine. The slightest mistakes and the slightest slopiness seems to reflect back often as horrible and painful suffering and even physical injuries. i do not know what do to.

I don't know if anyone can give any advice for my situation, or if you might be able to reccomend someone who can. but if you can say anything at all, i do hope it would help.
-josh



You have nothing to apologise for, you are most welcome here, you are a unique and beautiful human being who is an essential part of the universe who is loved an valued, I for one WANT you here, as do the other members, so please continue to post and share you experiences, as we are all here for you to help you in any way we can to help yourself.

Would you object to members praying / meditating for you? I daily practice energy work and often send heart centred energy to people I know, so let me know if that interests you, as I could use more practice, with your permission,

Perhaps ask the other members here if they will do the same?

Namaste Dirge32, remember you are loved beyond your ability to comprehend, your very essence is love itself, even if it does not seem that way right now.

"I accept the love that comes to me daily, even while doubting my ability to receive this love"

When we live in acceptance of how we are right now, without trying to change anything, there is peace in that moment, and if you don't accept how you are right now that is okay too.
You can be "ok" with not accepting yourself in this moment, its perfectly fine.
However you are, just express it, and let it out.

[dirge32]

I definately wouldnt mind peoole praying and or meditating for me but am a bit hisitent regarding energy work unless the person is skilled with spirits and thoughtforms. I wouldnt want any energy to be sucked up by entitites.

Thanks for the affirmation You reccomended.

[CFTraveler]

You can do your own energy work, that's why we have tutorials on this site.

[John Sorensen]

I definately wouldnt mind peoole praying and or meditating for me but am a bit hisitent regarding energy work unless the person is skilled with spirits and thoughtforms. I wouldnt want any energy to be sucked up by entitites.

Thanks for the affirmation You reccomended.

As CFTraveler said, you can do your own energy work, and there is no reason not to.

Personally I would not bother seeing an energy worker/healer regarding entities unless they had significant experience and success with that sort of thing.