I-stone
30th December 2013, 02:22 PM
some years ago I was at the height of my 'ego disillusion' -seriously different in retrospect- it appeared my identity was fluid but in reality I didn't exist but in the most minute amounts. I had this experience. I began channeling the consciousness of 'light packets' coming across the barrier between 'modularity' and infinity.
they spoke with my mouth so long as I had no thoughts what-so-ever. it sounded like a thousand little voices my mom said.
they were the building blocks of all existence as they came from non-existence they took form and were extremely vulnerable to influenced by anything. if they came into contact with an emotion they were consumed by it and became it. anyhow they wanted me to cross the border between existence and non-existence. they said they are very sympathetic to the terrible suffering that we endure in modularity. and they want every single being to cross over and finally be free of suffering.
I understood it that once someone crosses over the mysterious barrier an exact copy of that person is trapped in timelessness right on the border. if someone wants to experience modularity they can take the form of one of these bodies.
I began to go with them, and I look at my energy body. It is badly damaged from negs. It is nearly ripped in half at the torso, only a small piece holds the top half of my body to the bottom.
"Do I really want that messed up vessel to be the record of my life here?" that alone wouldn't have stopped me, but I also realized, I didn't really accomplish anything. The tipping point was that.. I also don't really have any idea what is beyond the veil. What if these arent light packets from beyond existence, and are just some aliens that are up to no good?
I told them my concerns. And that I want to do something in my life first, write books, help people somehow.
Well, in order to live like a human I had to go the reverse and create an ego.
It's been 5 years in the making. I often regret my decision.. infact I believe it is my only regret. Life is basicly nothing but pain and torment. The feeling of dying was a small fear and pain compaired to what life is now. It may sound dramatic but I speak only as-matter-of-factly. What would have happened if I had 'crossed over'. was it even real?
I tried again recently. Negs and a person I know stoped me- now they have an ego to grab onto.
they spoke with my mouth so long as I had no thoughts what-so-ever. it sounded like a thousand little voices my mom said.
they were the building blocks of all existence as they came from non-existence they took form and were extremely vulnerable to influenced by anything. if they came into contact with an emotion they were consumed by it and became it. anyhow they wanted me to cross the border between existence and non-existence. they said they are very sympathetic to the terrible suffering that we endure in modularity. and they want every single being to cross over and finally be free of suffering.
I understood it that once someone crosses over the mysterious barrier an exact copy of that person is trapped in timelessness right on the border. if someone wants to experience modularity they can take the form of one of these bodies.
I began to go with them, and I look at my energy body. It is badly damaged from negs. It is nearly ripped in half at the torso, only a small piece holds the top half of my body to the bottom.
"Do I really want that messed up vessel to be the record of my life here?" that alone wouldn't have stopped me, but I also realized, I didn't really accomplish anything. The tipping point was that.. I also don't really have any idea what is beyond the veil. What if these arent light packets from beyond existence, and are just some aliens that are up to no good?
I told them my concerns. And that I want to do something in my life first, write books, help people somehow.
Well, in order to live like a human I had to go the reverse and create an ego.
It's been 5 years in the making. I often regret my decision.. infact I believe it is my only regret. Life is basicly nothing but pain and torment. The feeling of dying was a small fear and pain compaired to what life is now. It may sound dramatic but I speak only as-matter-of-factly. What would have happened if I had 'crossed over'. was it even real?
I tried again recently. Negs and a person I know stoped me- now they have an ego to grab onto.