Meeting my Fiance in a Dream with her Guidev- Disturbed me

[LoneCrow]

I had an unusual dream last night but for some reason it really hit me hard. I was with my fiance, as we are usually together in our dreams, and this time some black man wanted to take her away, and she was listening to him. I was kinda shocked because well, she's my fiance, and what is she doing with another man. And why is she so willing to go with him etc. It seemed obvious to me he was going after her one reason , the way he was treating her. It was obvious to me, but she was oblivious to his evil intent.

I was really hurt at the fact she left me. After she returned in my dream, I'd ask her what she did etc and why, and she wouldn't answer me. It really hurt me. I couldn't understand why she would leave me for another man. It was totally unlike her.

I talked to her about it today and she said that one of her guides is a black man. I remembered that. So I considered that we did infact meet again in the astral realm last night, and possible I saw her guide take her away from me.

My point though, is that in the dream world or astral realm, it seems that there are no real relationships that last. It seems people go from person to person and have no control over their own feelings. Sometimes I dream of me with other women. Sometimes she dreams of other men.

But in real life I would never do such a thing. In the dream world I do things I wouldn't do in real life. She was doing something I know she would never have done in real life. We are soul mates totally.

But this brings me to the thought that, even Jesus said that there are no real husband and wives in the kingdom of heaven. It is different there. So why do I feel so attached to her all of a sudden, or jealous. It is totally unlike me.

I woke up several times during the night, with sleep paralysis and fear. Total fear, which is so odd. I haven't had this feeling in a long time, and over such a trivial thing. I would go back to bed and wake up again with that feeling of fear.

It is not even a concern of mine in reality. She is about as true blue as it gets and I trust her completely. But why did this huge feeling of fear and jealousy come from?

Anyway, just had to put this out on paper to get it out. Please let me know if you think it was a dream or maybe we did meet in the astral realm?

[CFTraveler]

When my son was younger he would climb in bed with us a lot (especially when he was having nightmares). After a while my husband would get uncomfortable and go sleep in his room. Even though I was not aware of when he got up and left, I knew it because I would have the most horrible nightmares involving he leaving me for another woman, or never having married me. I would wake up desolate and realize he just went to the other room to sleep. I just illustrate this to show how your subconscious can take something literally ('he left') and put all kinds of emotional interpretations on it. As to how the dream world is, you might want to take the thread I wrote about dreams and the subconscious' lack of identification with the ego and it's relationships (my amnesia dreams). It's having different realities to live in and not necessarily being either. I'm not pushing a theory on you, just adding my experiences to what I consider a great mystery.

[Beekeeper]

Lonecrow, we dream a lot of things that never happen and that don't seem to be part of how we express ourselves in physical reality. If it stays with us, like your dream has stayed with you, it gets us considering possibilities we might not have otherwise considered. It's possible your subconscious has thrown up something for you to explore for your own personal development and in order to have a deeper and better relationship with your partner.

It could also be what Robert Bruce describes as a neg trying to attach through a core image, manipulating you through fear. Either way, it's troubling you and that's an invitation to do some work on yourself.

I think a lot about how we love people and they love us. Love is a natural and spontaneous thing, of course, but largely its expression is something we learn culturally. Thus, it comes with all sorts of notions and expectations. This is all right as a starting point but it's limiting too. Ideas of soul mates are very romantic but potentially insidious too if you think about it. Any ideology about love has the potential to be, well, smothering.

If you look at literature from days of old (and not so old) you can see this. Ideas of love as ownership, blind duty, desperate self-negation, irresponsible, mindless dependence, etc. Sometimes easy to judge because of social/cultural distancing though, of course, such notions of love are still alive and kicking, possibly hiding under new ideologies. It's not so easy to interrogate more current belief systems about love and how they may, possibly, serve less than loving agendas.

Dreams like yours can be wonderful because they can help us love more consciously.

[LoneCrow]

What is odd is that I've never felt jealousy with her before. I've always trusted her completely. She's completely trustworthy in real life.

I just have a lot of dreams that come true years down the road, and this really disturbed me.

It is odd though that we seem to live alternate realities in the dream world. I visit places over and over in the same dreams and places all the time. It is like you only remember things in this place, and every once in a while a thought from this reality will spill over and vice versa.

It was just also odd how she met this guy which happened to be her guide! I wonder if we were both dreaming in the same area or was it just separate dreams and I was only dreaming on my side?

Thanks for comments though.

[LoneCrow]

Beekeeper. Yeah I know what you mean.

That is what disturbed me was the fact she took off, and even more disturbing was the feelings of jealousy and possesiveness I felt. I hadn't felt that since high school. I thought I had outgrown all of that sort of emotion. I wouldn't marry her if I had any doubts about her at all. This was just so odd to come totally out of left field. I really haven't even considered her a threat to cheat or anything like that, at all. It is just coming totally out of left field and it shocked me.

[Beekeeper]

And, of course, she hasn't cheated. This is, of course, your dream and, unless you have a clear way to tell the predictive ones from the others, there's no reason to project anything in it onto your lover. Be careful too of what psychologists call self-fulfilling prophecy.

You seem to be spending a lot of time convincing yourself/us of her trustworthiness but this is not the issue, I think. The dream is about you and your insecurities. Only you can work that out. If suddenly your subconscious is throwing this stuff up, there's probably a trigger but that's not to say it's a rational response to a real threat.

Like it or not, she is a separate being and she will have opinions and tastes that differ to yours, no matter how close you both are. Her head space and her dream space is her own too. This is a good thing. At times there will be a need for compromise in your love; you won't both always want the exact same things. This might feel like betrayal sometimes but it's the reality of being together: give and take.