Reflection.

[susan]

I need to ask for opinions and advice about something very personal that I feel I can share here with the hope that if any of my physical family reads this they can understand. ( hope they don't)
When I met my husband to be 36 years ago it was on holiday. First dance I knew I wanted to marry him. With slight obstacles in the way ( Never Family) we did .
Through life we have experienced the bringing up family , looking after problems of ourselves and family and we both showed the same love towards my immediate family . He sacrificed his family for the love of mine which became ours. He showed the same love towards my mother and father as their life ended and left us here.
My problems started when decisions needed to be made which were mine to make and I made them. He was the obstacle because he didn't believe it was the benefit to us. I spent 2 years sacrificing my energy , time , renovating my inherited house on my own .(turning into the masculine role) This was where spiritually we were showing to be on different wavelengths.

I proved to have made the right decision. I am experiencing this type of contact with spirit but he believes in the survival role and once tried to suggest I should try to be more like him and forget everyone else and think of ourselves

The thing is he loves me so much and he is coming through in dream recall as shadow figures when someone ( recorded in journal) takes me to one side and tells me he loves me so much and that I am his lightening rod. )
Also recently recorded in journal when I woke up to us with our son with the song " you make me feel so good"
I feel in physical he has no idea of anything but physical existence, but in spiritual existence I believe he has helped me develop the
side I need and is contact with me in spirit but has no idea.
We are on same vibrational level I believe in spirit but he is still of the survival group ( my own name on it) in physical
Could this be possible ?

[CFTraveler]

Of course it's possible. My husband is also in survival mode (for different reasons) but I feel if I didn't have him to rely on, I wouldn't be able to do the things I do- and yet, I know that deep down he is even more spiritual than I am- just in a different way. I hope you and your husband can find a way to get through the tough times, because it sounds like you're ok in the long run.
However, from what you have written (between the lines) I see some resentment/control issues bubbling up to the surface- one of the things that may need to be dealt with, perhaps with counseling- but now I'm presuming.

[susan]

Thanks CFT, yes I believe my HBnd is even more spiritual than me . It's almost as if he wants to point out the beauty in the world but have Me---- explain it.
If he points out something in the sky that seems something special to look at ( such as rainbow) I feel I disappoint him with my logical explanation which has a scientific explanation.
I feel he is open but just at the very beginning of understanding in physical but in spirit I feel he is there with me on my level