Exorcising a "demon" with love.

[Neil Templar]

I am standing in front of a mirror, looking at my reflection.
I have a strange heavy feeling in my right arm.
I am aware that this feeling is a manifestation of something, some (negative) aspect or energy i have carried around for a long time. A part of myself i have had enough of. Behaviour patterns that i no longer care to have to deal with.
I want this energy to leave me. I no longer wish to be influenced by it...

I start to try to push it outwards.
I give it commands, like "Be gone! I have no need for you!"

The heaviness in my arm only gets worse.

I try to push harder. I try to look deep into my own eyes, to see into my own core, and thrust the commands with all my willpower deep, deep inside, where this energy is buried... deep below the surface, beneath years of experience, years of acceptance that "this is just the way i am."

As i push with fierce determination, the mirror cracks. I can see two reflections of my face looking back at me. One of them is at an angle, so i'm looking at my face from the side.
My focus is split. I cannot force my will into two sets of eyes at the same time!

I relent, almost giving in.
My reflection disappears!
There is nothing to be seen in the mirror.
My arm is even heavier now. I cannot feel my hand at all. It is totally dead.
A dread creeps over me. If i don't find a way to win this battle, i will die.

Standing alone in front of an empty mirror, i accept the truth of this.
I surrender to the knowing of it.

The mirror is once again whole, and my reflection again looks back at me.
I know i cannot win this battle by force.
I must choose another course of action.
If not with violent action, then perhaps with love?

I begin talking to my refection, not commanding, not with force.
Gently i say "I love you!"
Again, "I love you!"
"I love you!"

A wrench from deep within. A struggle is taking place somewhere inside me.
"I love you!" and a smile, to myself. Eyes locked with my own.
The mirror cracks again. Again i see two reflections.
In front of me, i see my face, but it is distorted. Ugly. Demonic.
I look more deeply, and see there are two layers, two faces occupying the same space, looking back at me.
One is my normal face, the other a hideous version of my own.
They are one and the same, but somehow separate.

"I love you!"
A snarl from the twisted vision.
"I love you!"
Another snarl, and another crack of the mirror.
In front of me, my own face looks back at me, normal looking Neil.
In the cracked section, to the right, the beastly face looks out at me with loathing.
I look into my own eyes and smile, "I love you!"
The heaviness in my arm has gone, and i feel vitality return to my being.
I look into the eyes of the demon.
"I love you!"
Another crack, the face changes once again, more hideous than before.
"I love you!"
"I love you!"
"I LOVE YOU!"
It looks back at me, and it's face seems to relax, as if it is resigned to it's fate now.
I look once again into my own eyes.
"I love you!"

The mirror is whole. The demon is gone. I feel refreshed.

I wake in a sweat.

[Tutor]

sweet tears for you Brother. "it" does bitterly rare up within us. all we can do is love "it", and not hate "it", or the way we are with "it". we should not hate ourselves, be ever more understanding and forgiving.

got me a horse friend. a Medicine Paint Horse, his name is Henry. he is a rescue from an abandoned foreclosured farm. he was left in his stall to starve, was a rack of bones when my friend got him and another horse, brought them to her place. been like three months, he's filled out, still scared, apparently has been physically abused. can't get a rasp anywhere near him to trim his hooves. but we did manage to fix his teeth this last sunday, they were a mess, he could barely masticate his food/grass. so, baby steps ya see. probably be a year longer before he might be ridden. but we're working him in the round pen, he's doing okay. we end the round pen as soon as he gives us a little bit more than last time. no hurrys ya see.

be patient with yourself Brother. that's one hell of a heavenly dream.

[IA56]

A big hug to you!!

Love
ia

[ButterflyWoman]

What a poetic dream. Beautiful. Your subconscious is very eloquent, and uses such expressive symbols.

The good thing here is that you're "winning". The "demon" IS defeated, or deflated, or subdued, or, most likely, changed and transformed. I've struggled with maybe more than my fair share of this kind of "demon", and I can tell you for sure, they're never what they appear to be. Keep loving. You'll be amazed.

[Tutor]

yeah BW, tis Neil's poesis. clear sign that he has his beloved~Neil~lover in the wings of his consciously awakening mindfulness of REAL-it-Y. yep...Beauty and the Beast ~ El-O'-Quence

Latin eloquens (“speaking, having the faculty of speech, eloquent”), present participle of eloqui (“to speak out”), from e (“out”) + loqui (“to speak”).

MuseEQ10 ~ Music to my ears and sight up~on eyed light; Life exponent 2, Life(Life) = "It's Alive!"...errrr, I mean, "Neil's Divinely Alive!"

Thunder Struck!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWsaArW2tuo

She crys out for Her's, He sheds light upon the words of Her crys, the Poesis is two-gathered of Their conjointing Child birthing; aye even still...gloriously Birthed ~ Poesis ~ Clothed within The Word ~ Child of God.

Thunder|Perfect Mind

~

perhaps maudlin, but how we under-estimate our climactic LIFE events of spiritual maturation. Neil is the Child with a new voice, even a new language, ancient of days, his days re-collected.

[mystyx]

Jebus.

[CFTraveler]

I am standing in front of a mirror, looking at my reflection.
I have a strange heavy feeling in my right arm.
I am aware that this feeling is a manifestation of something, some (negative) aspect or energy i have carried around for a long time. A part of myself i have had enough of. Behaviour patterns that i no longer care to have to deal with.
I want this energy to leave me. I no longer wish to be influenced by it...

I start to try to push it outwards.
I give it commands, like "Be gone! I have no need for you!"

The heaviness in my arm only gets worse.

I try to push harder. I try to look deep into my own eyes, to see into my own core, and thrust the commands with all my willpower deep, deep inside, where this energy is buried... deep below the surface, beneath years of experience, years of acceptance that "this is just the way i am."

As i push with fierce determination, the mirror cracks. I can see two reflections of my face looking back at me. One of them is at an angle, so i'm looking at my face from the side.
My focus is split. I cannot force my will into two sets of eyes at the same time!

I relent, almost giving in.
My reflection disappears!
There is nothing to be seen in the mirror.
My arm is even heavier now. I cannot feel my hand at all. It is totally dead.
A dread creeps over me. If i don't find a way to win this battle, i will die.

Standing alone in front of an empty mirror, i accept the truth of this.
I surrender to the knowing of it.

The mirror is once again whole, and my reflection again looks back at me.
I know i cannot win this battle by force.
I must choose another course of action.
If not with violent action, then perhaps with love?

I begin talking to my refection, not commanding, not with force.
Gently i say "I love you!"
Again, "I love you!"
"I love you!"

A wrench from deep within. A struggle is taking place somewhere inside me.
"I love you!" and a smile, to myself. Eyes locked with my own.
The mirror cracks again. Again i see two reflections.
In front of me, i see my face, but it is distorted. Ugly. Demonic.
I look more deeply, and see there are two layers, two faces occupying the same space, looking back at me.
One is my normal face, the other a hideous version of my own.
They are one and the same, but somehow separate.

"I love you!"
A snarl from the twisted vision.
"I love you!"
Another snarl, and another crack of the mirror.
In front of me, my own face looks back at me, normal looking Neil.
In the cracked section, to the right, the beastly face looks out at me with loathing.
I look into my own eyes and smile, "I love you!"
The heaviness in my arm has gone, and i feel vitality return to my being.
I look into the eyes of the demon.
"I love you!"
Another crack, the face changes once again, more hideous than before.
"I love you!"
"I love you!"
"I LOVE YOU!"
It looks back at me, and it's face seems to relax, as if it is resigned to it's fate now.
I look once again into my own eyes.
"I love you!"

The mirror is whole. The demon is gone. I feel refreshed.

I wake in a sweat. I'd like to translate this to spanish. I'd post it here, and in other places (spanish speaking groups) and cite the original. Please let me know.

[Neil Templar]

Absolutely. Be my guest CF.
And thanks for bringing this post back to my attention. It'll be helpful with a new client.
Funny how that works eh?! ;)

[CFTraveler]

:D When I finish it I'll post a link to it here and post it in my spanish page.
Here it is: http://www.astraldynamics.com.au/showthread.php?16850-Guia-Sencilla-Journals-in-Spanish-Simple-Guide&p=133782#post133782