can anyone please give accurate interpretation?

[replay]

M

[CFTraveler]

I don't know if anyone can give you a totally accurate interpretation, as your experiences are very personal. However, I'll try.

My father committed suicide by shotgun shortly after my brother hung himself, I am very sorry for your loss- what a terrible thing to have to go through.

several very hard years later I had this dream: I was looking through an open window into a room, their was this hideous looking man like creature with green/yellowish eyes. It was standing on top of my father's mutilated body while lifting my brother off the ground by the neck and strangling him to death, all the while it was glaring straight at me with an evil snarling smile. That was the end of the dream. My interpretation is that the monster is the personalization you have given to the act of suicide, or the depression or emotional turmoil they were in to cause this to happen.
I think it also represents the fear you have that 'it' also wants you- But you are strong and know this is not possible. This is why it's on the other side of the window, in 'their' area, not yours.

[Tutor]

i can only say, it is not your fault, that you are not a monster as cause because you could not stop any of this from happening. precious are the good times of life, yet, how precious is the true soul that would grieve as though it were responsible for the bad times even as such a soul were not even in the very least accountable to the choices that other's made, nor for their reasons formed from lack of reasoning while in their overwhelming pain at the bitter ends of their colping skills. survivor's guilt feeling at fault is a hard deal, but that's love...a most precious gift indeed.

God is Love, and these beloved's of you are clear sign that they are within God's Love as well. cut the tie of personal guilt, letting yourself free of this, letting your beloved's free for leaving you behind to bear the pain that they for whatever reason could not deal with. you are a strong and true soul, both loving and much loved. dreams like this alert us to our inner unresolvable turnoils, unresolvable because we didint set it forth as ours to solve.

live as today's love, love as today's gift given to live. this is what i do everyday because of those in my life whom for no reason met death, leaving me to feel at fault because of something or other i shoulda coulda woulda done. truth is, all of it was out of control from the get go, and i am blessed to be yet living beyond it. i carry them in an ankle bracelet on my right ankle as a reminder of them and as a reminder of me not being guilty because i am yet alive. it's not how we may forget, it's how we choose to remember. Love

forum link: http://www.astraldynamics.com.au/showthread.php?2971-QUOTES-Little-Corner-)&p=123809#post123809

[IA56]

My father committed suicide by shotgun shortly after my brother hung himself, several very hard years later I had this dream: I was looking through an open window into a room, their was this hideous looking man like creature with green/yellowish eyes. It was standing on top of my father's mutilated body while lifting my brother off the ground by the neck and strangling him to death, all the while it was glaring straight at me with an evil snarling smile. That was the end of the dream.

I am so sorry for your loss and I second both CFT´s and Tutors interpretations about guilt, maybe you have hard time to accept their choice to take theire life´s and it is always easier to blame some outside sourse to have caused it than that they them self´s made this decission for them self....Does this make you unsure of yourself that you might be forced to same destiny??...You are stronger than that....Have you given yourself time to grief the loss of your both father and brother??..Give your self time and then keep the lovely memories you have with them...and forgive them for the choice they made and forgive your self for have bean in fear so many years.
Let love spread in your whole existence.

Love
ia

[Tutor]

Yes I have felt that I could have intervened, in my father's case, and prevented it! I have been carrying much guilt. This has all been many years ago now. When I snapped awake from this dream that night " your next" is the massage that I got from the dream. But I wasn't next. 2 years after this dream my aunt, who was my father's sister killed herself in the same fashion as my father, only difference was she used a .38 not a shotgun. But since this it's like I have been in a war for my life! To the point that I do find myself thinking that it is my destiny! I have been in a war for my life for a long time now, life had been incredibly difficult! I'm getting older now and it's like I have never lived, life passes me by as I just fight for physical and emotional survival. Depression, anger and suicidal thoughts have ruled me. Trying to earn a living has been horrendous, brick wall after brick wall. No matter what I do my body will betray me. Every day is misery! Everything is hard! It has been, day after day year after year! It's really had Bern like a powerful unseen force relentlessly backing me down and trying to destroy me. Always I'm in dire straights, lost in darkness. I am broken, beat down and defeated! I'm tired.

Bravo replay,

the first step is bleeding out the story, giving it voice, admitting the loss of everything as if to have arived at nothing, "I am broken, beat down and defeated! I'm tired.".

Beautifully stated, and as simple as the Truth IS. Believe it or not, this is Victory's outcry! and you are that Victory giving Voice to Truth.

[editted out poetic content due to further OP content]

[CFTraveler]

Remember that you always have time to rest. Even though you feel beaten, you're not. This is why the view was across the window.
I am going to assume you have gotten some therapy to help you cope with the loss and guilt. Are you getting any support now, like in a group or community?

[Tutor]

auto-saved?

[Hotpod]

Glad you are here replay. There is a lot to be learned from OBE, which is why I am here as well.

[Tutor]

the topical title is "can anyone please give accurate interpretation?". hmmmm, i am afraid "replay" to write what i feel to express in reflection to your last post above, because i realize you'd rather read what you'd identify as supportive to your False Evidence Appearing Real. i respect that, been there myself.

one thang is for sure, we aint..."you guys" to have ended up with. but, we are folks having been and come/coming through our own trials and tribulations, whom could give you relatively accurate feedback. i honestly don't recommend that to any members/moderators/forum et all, within respect that you aint getting the help you MUCH need in your immediate world. help that is immediately available by your sole choice to accept and receive.

human anguish is not from the human body per se, even as the reactive human body is racked with symptoms. anguish is you, or not you, and the disconnection and/or projection from the human body is never going to be disconnection from you, for you are that which is being within a human body.

ya see, you've happened upon a group of b.s'ers. we've said it and we've heard it all. so dont imagine to be b.s'n. other b.s'ers.

what we're yackin about, as per your topic, is suicidal thoughts...............YOURS. we aint here to be your therapists or your guys.

GET SOME HELP AT YOUR CLOSEST V.A.!

VA Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255...press 1 for Veterans

and it doesnt have to be suicidal thought, you can call that number when any feelings of crisis erupt within you or within your life in general. it is ok to be in crisis, none of us have all the coping skills we require or wish we had.

Go Navy!

[replay]

B.s.ing.? Everything I said was true. " you guys" is just an expression that you read to much into. Wasn't how I meant it. But ok I get you.

[Hotpod]

I think he's just trying to say to be aware of the places you can go to get a more professional help...

[IA56]

B.s.ing.? Everything I said was true. " you guys" is just an expression that you read to much into. Wasn't how I meant it. But ok I get you.

It is not easy to be understood in right way, I understand your frustration. We all are on different levels so to speak of evolution, and it depends from what level everyone is responding from.

Most of us do not know from what level we in the first place are writing and when a respons come we do not accept the answere because we may not be ready to hear the right answere to our question...it does feel hars many time´s when it do land on a point what I am not ready to face.

Communication is not easy when we have such a much sorrow and sadness and fear and anger and all kind of negativity in us, and how to get this out without getting into fight or respond with all kind of defensev words.

Why did you delete your post?? If you ready to look closer to this topic please do take everyone´s answere or respons to your post and sit down and try to let it sink in and see what happens....cry out your guilt...try to see the deeper point what everyone are trying to give you. You are worth the best in life and it is time to let go of the past.

Love
ia