Nursing babies

[susan]

I would like to start a journal here because recently I find that no matter how much energy raising I do OBE' s seem to be on hold but my dreams are very memorable and I think symbolic.
Looking through the past 15 months my dreams started where I was always searching for something, some one, somewhere.
Always leaving to look.
I am missing so much out here . I wish I had started the journal earlier....
Then a few dreams involved an airport, runway, a really large plane, inside it, but could I travel or not..?.
The plane lands, a large blue car travels up a very steep hill where the occupant gets out and someone ( a news reporter) is standing on the summit recording the arrival of the passenger.
Next dream a while later is really not a dream but a caption just before waking.
A train, stationary with a green light in front and a lot of different tracks ahead.
Weeks later I thought I was having an OBE where someone was carrying me as if in a sling and I got the impression I was a baby or egg and the person I saw carrying me was my husband.
I was put gently down on a child's plastic chair on a veranda and given a bowl of fruit and asked " Haven't you seen a boys kindergarten before?
Recently I am nursing a baby every time I remember a dream, I may be protecting them, or loving them by kissing and cuddling them or they might be growing into toddlers where they are getting under my feet but I am still holding one.
Last night I am talking with and thanking my father who is coming on a journey with me and my mother arrives and I ask her if she is coming too.
Something I forgot to mention..
A few months ago I had an experience where I was taken to my fathers house and I knew someone from the spirit world had taken me but I didn't see him . It didn't seem important.
I was there to meet someone .HE ARRIVED.
I LOVED HIM FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.He had the same colour of hair as mine( mine is out of a bottle)
He was innocent , pure , beautiful , gentle, . I recall telling him how much I loved him. He could see me but not hear me or hear me but not see me ( I cann't remember which way round it was ) To this day I use this love I feel for him for my meditation. )

My other experiences are in the relevant sites but I wish so much I had started a journal earlier .

[susan]

About 2weeks ago I dreamt I was with my son and he was heavily pregnant being taken into the hospital room for delivery. ( I shudder the thought of him ever finding this site and reading this.)
Last night I was with my dad( this wasn't really my dad but that was how I perceived him)
Guess what, yep, he was pregnant too,my gran and grandad were taking him outside to wait for the ambulance to arrive. I asked him if he was in pain, he said no but his waters had broken.
To the left of us were a group of really rough looking youngsters. There were girls and boys, but it was the girls that started to fight with each other. The boys just stood and watched.
We waited and waited for the ambulance to arrive but got the feeling they were in no hurry.
Woke up.
Everything seems the wrong way round.
I recalled dreams from the past few months and felt strong energy in my legs first then from the base of the spine it moved upwards. This happened about 5 times leaving me feeling very cozy and warm.


Edit.
A year on and now I can understand.
It had nothing to do with pregnancy. I was getting things the wrong way around. At the time I had a medical problem but thought it was going to prove worse than it actually was.I was preparing for the worse.This worry was something at the time I was putting off dealing with due to other priorities I had to get in place first.
I was thinking the wrong way and the ambulance was in no hurry to take me to hospital.
When I finally got seen to it was a minor procedure required.

[eyeoneblack]

Are men the gentle and nurturing sex? It's an obvious question I know..... but your dream does 'beg the question'.

[eyeoneblack]

I'll elaborate a little if you don't mind. When my daughter was born my wife suffered egregious post-partum depression, as if she had just given birth to her nemesis. Poor girl, in many ways she had. I was ‘mom’ for her middle-of-the-night feedings, for diaper changes - well, I had to play mom.

And nothing really changed to this day. I am the nurturer and she is relegated to more a pain in the ass - scratch that, say 'distant' - than a parent. Jealousy is the issue. They are both pretty ladies, but the daughter outshined the mother in almost every respect and the tension has been, at times, almost palpable.

Don’t know you, or if this relates in the least. Just made me think.

[susan]

Men are yes probably as much as women it just depends on the individual. The fact is they are brought up not to show that side as much, big strong tough guys come to mind.
I've been married for 35 years and I feel we both have our strengths which is why it works., ( he has his faults which I tolerate )so sorry but not sure if your own example could relate to me this time.
Good try though to put us women down.

[eyeoneblack]

Good try though to put us women down.
Ohhhh, booo. I didn't mean to. Please accept my apology. My Ex is not typical, nor am I, probably. The post was just a real miss-cue. :(

But let my ask you this; do you feeld the burden of the sex weighs more heavily on the female than the male?

[eyeoneblack]

You know what? Forget it. If I made a point, then fine. Otherwise I've just stirred up more than is polite to deal with.
Bless you and I only hope your regard for me will improve with time. :)

[susan]

Please don't apologise, I only left to have something to eat.The post wasn't a miss cue, I can see where your coming from and I'll answer you as honestly as I can .
I feel sorry for my hubby for the long hours he has to work , which means that as the children were growing up I was the parent there in the evenings but he certainly kept the emphasis on family unity. Sometimes he felt he was the black sheep of the family because I would and can to this day talk to my two sons about anything ( except sex) they turn to me first but only because I'm at the end of the phone. In the recent years we have lost my mother and father. He has shown compassion and I had strength. Since my parents death I have grown stronger and stronger due to decisions that had to be made
It happened again. Every time I seem to get into a heavy spiritual thinking mode the electric goes off for a second then goes back on again. It makes me jump

[eyeoneblack]

Every time I seem to get into a heavy spiritual thinking mode the electric goes off for a second then goes back on again. It makes me jump
So that's what it is! I quit setting my clocks on the stove and microwave because it's too much trouble. The power blinks off, the clocks say 12:00 blink, blink, and I reset the bedroom clock, but that's it. Funny!

[susan]

This morning dozing on and off I got a brilliant flash of white light in my brow area twice about 30 mins apart. Probably about an hour later I can only describe it like an explosion in my head. Not the rest of the body just the head. Felt my whole body jumped but I don't know if it did or not.Bit of a headache today, just slight.

[CFTraveler]

This morning dozing on and off I got a brilliant flash of white light in my brow area twice about 30 mins apart. Probably about an hour later I can only describe it like an explosion in my head. Not the rest of the body just the head. Felt my whole body jumped but I don't know if it did or not.Bit of a headache today, just slight.
Sounds like a brow center strobe. If you got a headache, you need to lay off the head chakra energy work. If you're not doing energy work, I suggest you start, everywhere but the head area.
A brow center strobe with pain is an indication of an overactive brow chakra, and may indicate imbalance- not enough "grounding" (i.e. lower chakra) work or activity.

[susan]

Sounds like a brow center strobe. If you got a headache, you need to lay off the head chakra energy work. If you're not doing energy work, I suggest you start, everywhere but the head area.
A brow center strobe with pain is an indication of an overactive brow chakra, and may indicate imbalance- not enough "grounding" (i.e. lower chakra) work or activity.

Thanks for the advice.
I am doing NEW and always start at the feet working upwards but I'll take your advice and lay off the head chakra for a few sessions.

[susan]

Thanks for the advice.
I am doing NEW and always start at the feet working upwards but I'll take your advice and lay off the head chakra for a few sessions.

Last night went to bed very grounded after a busy day with a lot on my mind concerning household things. No spiritual thoughts, no energy raising this time. Woke up went back to sleep about 7am.
Woke up to Marion Marion Marion wake up.
Recalled dream straight away. I had been in a small canoe with other people travelling fast down some kind of tunnel really having fun and laughing .Someone behind in another canoe capsized but he got back up again and we were all laughing including this person.Next thing a strong current takes us and a big boat is heading for us,we capsize and all struggle to hang on to the wall at the side.
Next thing is I' m in a room with a group of people and the leader counts and says there is one missing, someone is lost in the tunnel. She is found and carried to me but she is only about 12 inches tall looking I suppose as a child would perceive a fairy to look like and how they are shown children's books.she has a beautiful purple silky long dress on.They all want me to extend my arm but I feel uncomfortable as I haven't seen anything as small as that before but they insist and they lie her on her back on my wrist.I don' feel frightened anymore because she has lovely long hair but I really loved her dress and the colour.
She starts to move again and breath as we are all leaning forward whispering " Marion Marion Marion wake up"

I woke up. Now this could be completely off track but about a week ago before going to sleep I sent out a wish for me to learn at least one name that I have been known as in a previous life and I sent out an extra request wondering what I was last known as in the spirit world before coming back here.
Interestingly, my sisters name is Marilyn and my mother's name was Muriel.As I said could be completely off track.

PS. Just a note about my first post on this section when I talked of meeting this person ,male who I loved with all my heart I forgot to mention that he was a boy about 15 or 16 years old.

( just wanted to make it clear that it wasn't that gorgeous looking person I have seen before and who is drawn on paper who is
supposed to be my guide who by the way is drawn with both female and male characteristics) I prefer to call him / her a him

[susan]

Because nothing relevant happened last night I want to record 2 events over a 2 year period that are similar.
A few months before going on holiday I woke up to a vision of a tanned skinned ( European) man in a rather play boy pose with his arm above his head and his hips and general posture as if posing for a sex magazine.
A finger was pointing to the heart area and I heard " remember this"
Went on holiday to Mexico sunbathing with family by the pool when I saw him.
An Italian guy with a group of friends with a little alcohol inside him was mimicking the instructor who was taking water aerobic classes for the females. He was standing directly behind him copying what he was doing bit in the vision I interpreted it as a sexy pose but it wasn't

[susan]

Sorry once again only a part auto saved)
This year I woke up to a memory of sitting in a room with a young man by a computer desk and he is telling me that he got really excited when the World Wide Web came into existance.
Went on holiday with hubby when I saw him . He had such a distinctive face that you would not forget. I didn't have any thoughts at all about the dream at the time, but if you saw a look alike of your neighbour you would know if it was or not. I suppose there are mysterys that we will ever know the answer to

[susan]

So tired today,not much sleep, not sure if I should have recorded this as a continuation from a previous thread but as I am recording my journal I choose this section.
Another brow centre strobe but just one flash of brilliant light no head explosion. . ( no headache either)
Took CF Traveller's advice and spent Sunday grounding, planting seeds to grow, I planted tomatoes and cucumbers ,did a lot of housework but spent a lot of breaks reading " Far Journeys"
5.30 pm to 7.00 used no music but just meditated using NEW but not raising energy in brow.
Woke up at 4pm.

This is when it starts,
Loud buzzing very loud buzzing as I have associated with vibration signs but didn't feel the lightness that suggests that I am above
the body, I seemed to go to sleep and wake up as if some one licked their finger or I was fighting this and I felt I woke up
immediately.
I felt each time that I wanted just to sleep.
Each time I woke up I remembered a quick dream .
1) lovely big white dog ( that had a cold) I just naturally wanted to stroke and cuddle him.
( I Always need to carry a handkerchief with me because my eyes or nose runs.. ( allergy suspected)
2). A bird came in through the window to me and someone who was with me . As it got close it was a kitten with my hair colouring. I just stroked it. It was playful.
3) . I was with some others in a room and I volunteered along with others to stand in a circle. We were hurdled on this circle when I looked at the ground and felt disorientated. We were al experiencing vibrations as if we were travelling down a tunnel.woke up to the buzzing.
4) a dog was at my front door ( this was not the same dog as before)
It had found my front door key, I was grateful. ( haven' t lost it)

5) I really at this stage wanted to get some sleep but finally I looked into the eyelids and just saw writing very faint on paper. The paper seemed to be moving as if turning pages but nothing I could read .

Stayed awake the rest of the night . I mean what is the point of asking to work with your higher ( guidance) and then feel Flip, I just want to go to sleep .

[susan]

Sorry, clicked fingers is what I meant to say.
Very loud buzzing between each recalled dream.
I need to distinguish between what is just my mind's thoughts picked up in picture form and what is for me to take notice of.

[susan]

Have decided to bring out the old bible again and concentrate more on this . ( Astral Dynamics)
When I started having OBE's and read this book it enhanced my experiences. Great fun.
Later I joined a circle that required a new way of connecting, ie bringing in white light and silencing the mind. I wanted the complete picture.To not only have adventures ( on my own) or someone behind me , but connecting with others.
The last 2 years or maybe less has brought different energy and different experiences.
My dreams have I think or thought been to take notice , of with definite energy body sensations .
My concern now is how much can be trusted and how much is just me having these experiences and thinking they are real?
Everything I believe to have put together in my mind as making sense may be a complete fabrication due to all the books I have read,although with Astral Dynamics I experienced the events before reading about it so I knew it was real, but these dreams? How do I know ? When I posted the OBE s they have been absolute real,magical dreams ( like meeting the young boy and feeling deep love , absolutely real)
Please bear with me anyone who reads this but through the day I am perfectly sane and very considerate to people's feelings and am in a wonderful job working with elderly people where I get a lot of deep satisfaction.


Today has felt as if someone has firmly but gently had their hand on the top of my head.( I don' literally mean a person, just how it feels)
Will continue here with experiences but will try my best to work out what is significant for me and what is just to be thrown away .
Up to now I have not posted anything that to me was not meaningful. Off to bed ,
( I'm just trying to make sure that if there is an imbalance of energy and too much in the brow area that I can read this over and remind myself)

[susan]

2 good nights sleep
. Last night a message that seemed to suggest ( do I still not believe?) I am being encouraged to talk and listen and look.( scene taking me from a meeting in a corridor and he leads me to a room and sits me down where someone is asleep in a bed waking up as we enter but we just sit and he asks me to talk to him.
Between waking up and going to sleep I remember I get the I pad with photos showing on it and I think from memory that I should just look into the screen and I see someone with the telephone held to the ear.
Just before waking up to this I saw a white flash and heard a click.

Not one of my MAGICAL EXPERIENCES? But memorable,
Have decided to note my experiences so I know when they are dream , to possible message in dream, to "magical experiences "
To near or OBE's.

[susan]

Wish to record a dream I would put in my " magical dream " description.
No exit symptoms and due to the thoughts in my head prior to sleep this was very welcome , but not related at all to do with what was going on at the time. ( it gave me a boost and cheered me up)
Background info...
Stressed but feeling much love whilst nursing my terminally ill father at home whilst self employed working full time)

I' m on a boat travelling with someone. (A lot of my experiences have someone next to me that I seem to communicate with ,knowing the person but when recalling the dreams the person is always to the left of me and never shown or heard.)
I'm shown to a room in the boat to sleep in by a cleaner. I cann't sleep because my son is asleep in the bed.
I'm called to the deck to see what is out there.
This is the beginning of the most beautiful magical sight.
We are travelling in pure brilliant white snow. The boat is sailing through pure snow, nothing but white all around.
The fields to the left of me were made of snow, their fences were made of snow, a horse was made of snow standing in the corner, a horse made of snow was on it's hind legs. Complete silence as if time stood still.
Absolutely beautiful to witness. The sky was black and I remember pointing up to the sky to the person with me saying
" Look up there , aren't the colours beautiful?
There were colours of the rainbow glowing through a section of the dark sky which I can now associate with the colours I saw during a phasing episode that was posted on a different section,

[susan]

This am recalled dream, worked it out,Was to do with my daily life.
Did some energy raising ,felt strong energy sensations from the base moving upwards( not uncomfortable,) 6 times.
Although I always start from the feet working upwards, taking my time ,when I get to the heart I then change direction and slowly bring energy from crown down to the heart. This I know is what triggers the sensation I can feel it starting as I descend.
I think it was Aunt Clair who suggested this .???

Would like to record an OBE in the very early stage after starting to read Astral Dynamics.
Had had unexpected OBEs prior to this but needed to understand what was going on..
( This is a reminder to me about how I experienced events prior to reading about them )
2010 I called this Merging With The Mist.
Vibrations started and loud buzzing sound.
Without warning I'm now by the bedroom door,ceiling height watching mist rise up from my body back in bed.I'm now this mist moving towards the mist by the door and we merge into one
This totally zonked me out the next morning when reliving it as none of this made sense.
A short while later reading AD the book detailed similar experiences explaining Roberts understanding that we have more than one body. ( page 49) talking of the projectable double and the mind split . He also explained that all 3 copies are capable of functioning and thinking completely independent.
This explained an encounter with myself that I recorded ( I think on the old site)
I would like to record it here if allowed ( it may be somewhere else), just trying to remind myself of the definite reality of what was happening then so when I become doubtful with present experiences I can read this.

[susan]

This morning mixed dream but not Sure if relevant or not so won't record it but at the point of waking up saw a lovely quick flash of 3 pyramids but they were lovely colours (Flourescent)

[susan]

Flourescent was the wrong descriptive word. Should have read as coloured and shimmering
An experience about 15 months ago needs to be remembered. (I am recording here so eventually I can bin my paper journal,I am concerned incase my other half finds it and is worried for me .) He has no idea about any of this , he just cann't talk about death and if I bring the subject up in any way he sees it as a negative way of speaking.

About 15 months ago I did something that made me very happy at first but then .....the consequence......
Found ring in jewellery box hadn't worn for long time. Decided to trade in for ring to wear all time (engagement ring)(hadn't worn one for many years . Problem was this was white gold. So decided to change wedding ring to match new ring to white gold.
Ooooops..... Sentimental..
I think of love..honour ..respect ..feelings ..consideration..all of this. Ring was just a symbol to me.
Big mistake. When he found out he wasn't angry.
I could see and feel the hurt he was feeling.
After 3-4 days of feeling really low I remembered a vivid dream when wakening.
A woman with a big ugly snake coming out of her abdomen ( which was really horrible to see) and I got the words
"You did't take ".........' S feelings into consideration. This was said with love not conviction .
I took this on board and apologised using this knowledge.
I feel it was the right thing to say and he has forgiven me.
At the time I saw this as a horrible snake coming out of my abdomen just maybe for my attention but now I think this was my higher self getting my attention .( common sense , but when you are not seeing it ( as others do ) it needs to be pointed out. )

[susan]

If nothing to remember in the morning will record " encounter with myself"

[susan]

Yesterday got a lovely big close up of a different pyramid this time described in the "Mysticism " section.
I ' d also had a dream concerning my late fathers house and a surname was given but could be just made up so decided not to post .
However ,during the dream my late mother comes out of the house and I'm thinking "
" What is she doing here she is supposed to be dead?she looks taller and slimmer, I preferred her when she was overweight ,anyway I know it isn't her it'll be someone in the spirit side pretending to be her for some reason." ( I was actually thinking this in my dream)
She hands me a half empty bag of sugar and tells me my order had arrived. Behind her were crates piled up of bottles of lucozade I had apparently ordered.
Pondered over this in the morning and was day off. By 12 mid day all my plans of things to do went out the window.
Gradually I became weaker and weaker until I felt a little shaky and lay on the bed.stayed there for 3 hours with a little sleep.
Interesting point for me to remember is that whilst in the dream I seemed to be working out why my mother looked as she did and worked out that it was a spirit person impersonating her instead.
It was later that I realised that the sugar and lucozade ( energy drink) both provide energy.

OBE.
This morning started with recalling a dream at about 4 am after a visit to the bathroom.
I was lying on the floor with a lot of other people( they were sleeping)A baby monkey was jumping around the room between the people when I noticed that it had pink sticky tape stuck to it's mouth. I removed the tape when a man walks in to see the monkey and says. " Can you see that you bring the monkey to me by 8 o clock for photographs.
Wasn't sure if nonscence or not so just did a bit of energy raising then sleep, woke up,heard the birds outside but didn't stir .
I must have just got into that mid way stage when the birds got louder and I could now feel my feet raising up . I knew this was an OBE in progress, my legs were out now my body was fully out and I was slowly drifting upwards and forwards with no thought of direction ( decided to just wait and see where I'm going)
The birds were so loud my thought went back to my body thinking they Were next to my physical body.Wrong thing to do, back to body and awake.
Checked the time...7.55 am.

[susan]

Time to record
2010 Encounter with myself .
This was shortly after starting to read Astral dynamics at the beginning of my ( dare I say journey, YES I Do)
Vibrations started all over. Physical eyes were closed. Very loud noisy buzzing sound. Knew something was going to happen.Waited.

Saw a black shadowy figure which then took the shape of a head in front of me and full colour set in.
The hair was my colour.
The head turned around and I was looking at another ME! I looked younger and prettier.
This other me had independent movements
"She turned and smiled at me ...BUT... I could feel the excitement from both of us at the meeting.
Then " SHE" turned and smiled at me ...but I will never forget the excitement from both of us at this meeting.
Then she pulled the bedclothes up to her chin and facing the ceiling seemed to chuckle and bubbles came from her mouth like in a comic book with ( Zzzzz) snoring images.
Felt I was being told to go to sleep now.
Whatever dreams I may have now that leave a doubt ,I may not be well read on the subject , able to advise to others, but no one will ever convince me this was not real. IT WAS.

[CFTraveler]

...but no one will ever convince me this was not real. IT WAS. I can't imagine who would want to do that. You're describing seeing your own expanded double, what I call 'dweller on the threshold' or 'astral feedback.' Many of us have this type of experience, at one time or another.

[susan]

Thank you, CF Traveller.
I recently decided to give up the development group. It was a great start but I felt it wasn't going in the direction I needed and my OBE's had nothing to do with the development circle. In fact most of the time was spent talking about how we should react to other people ,with others in the group talking of their challenges through the week and how they did or should have reacted.
Even during one meditation on cutting "ties" I couldn't think of anyone I knew that caused me a problem,we were supposed to be thinking of someone who gave us reason to want to deflect their negative energy. I just sat there with my eyes closed thinking "there's no one in my life I don' t want around. I only know lovely people . ( and this was costing me money) , so this site is all I have to keep me on the right track.

Now back to a " Magical Experience"
16th Sept 2012
Through the day had been travelling in car 6pm to an appointment when most people are finishing work.
Car coming in my direction decided to overtake front car meaning he was on my side of road just at the time I was overtaking a cyclist.Near collision, had to act fast -did -but left me very shaky.

Went to bed repeating many times in my mind WHY? WHY? Why couldn't spirit have warned me.?
They warned me previously about a roundabout so why not this?
Woke up to remembering a beautiful dream
I was taken back to a village I used to live in but the colours around we're soft and hazing into each other.we were on the bridge looking down into the river. Someone was with me.The most beautiful sound was around us( I would like to say harp but there was a mixture of sounds so beautiful and got an impression of a large white bird in the sky) I could see other people lining the bridge all looking into the water. They were not solid. Everyone was as the environment was , Shimmering and Translucent.
I looked into the river where everyone else was looking and the water was so clear and undisturbed and clear sand could be seen at the bottom.
Suddenly, MY CAR came travelling fast at the bottom of the river and the boot of the car opens. I remember saying The driver will be drowned. Then someone just "pulled a plug out from the bottom of the river and the water drained away.
The person next to me tells me "we were all calling , even the Queen was calling"
I then got a flash of a white blanked wrapped around me.
The sounds were out of this world, the colours and shimmering translucent environment I've experienced before.
I feel sure I was being told that they tried to warn me but that I was protected.
Took the speeding car in the river as a message I should slow down.( didn't think I was but then Who does?)

[susan]

Short one this morning. Woke up to two bangs ( thought they were outside ) and a song .....take you to the picture show......
Recalled immediately and remember watching a big fish at the bottom of the ocean. It was swimming around, came across a similar fish but it was dead so decided to leave it alone. Went down to the sea bed where a similar fish was asleep with some kind of glass covering over it whilst it slept.The fish I had been watching flipped it's back tail against the glass ,making the noise I woke up to . I woke up to the song.
About 30 mins later thinking about this but still too early to get up my mind must have paused for a while when I (Thought.)
"Lightening may strike again " and I saw a lizard's head.
From what I understand symbols can have many different meanings, especially when I look up meaning on the Internet it is worrying that so many people can publish books that have completely different suggestions for needy people.
I adapted a policy to use just one book and sent out a request that any beautiful spirit that is working with me if possible to use the symbols within this book so I can understand anything that is sent.
The interpretation seems to suggest I need more meditation to see the information I am asking for.
I. 'M guessing here but the lightening strike may??? be brow centre strobe. I'll wait and see.

[susan]

Where do I start? I,m not sure.No. OBEs since last quick one .Will have to leave a lot out,will try to summarise but first I want to record that I am completely Grounded and have done no energy work on the brow or top of head.
Came back from work at 4.03 pm and had my first bite of the day to eat.Had felt disorientated all day ( not weak) As if my brain was wanting to wander somewhere else.Felt sick and went to bed at 8.30.
Next morning in bed decided I must look after my body better and eat regular so decided for a week I'll eat regular,no red meat, no bread, no alcohol, In fact nothing will enter my body unless it's healthy.
Thinking this over I thought the words " that sounds a good thing to do"
Okay..so then deciding how this will really benefit my body I thought the words " Not enough people think that Susan"
I was being answered back and being called by my name. I started to wonder if I should record this here when I thought " your very brave I 'm not sure I could."
Now remembering 'My Encounter with Myself ' She( the other me) had independent thoughts that I ( this me ) was thinking as I remember the excitement FROM both of us at this contact.
So my puzzle is was this someone else from the spirit world communicating to me by thought? Or was this the ( other me)? Talking to ( this me)? Is this (other ) me what we refer to as the subconscious mind in astral form? Is she privy to loads more info about my evolution or does that belong to even another (ME) from a higher plane.
At what stage do we think of ( higher self) ?????? Confused dot com. I need to re-read Kurt's " The Multidimensional Human"
Will have to finish rest of journal tomorrow. Eggs and bees the topic.

[susan]

I feel like a child again starting back at the beginning trying to dissect these multiple bodies .Kurt suggests as many as eight. Makes sence, but when achieving a higher body, at the time, does that consciousness (during an excursion out ) have more knowledge of everything? I suppose it must because there's often someone with me who I'm talking with, but only fragments are remembered.

Dream other day and a friend brings us both a small egg to eat. She tells me they have just been laid.

Another dream where I am in my late father's house talking to someone. Behind him is a plastic bag where a loud buzzing sound is heard. Multiple buzzing like bees,this is different to the buzzing I've associated with OBEs. The buzzing gets so loud I think they are going to burst out of the bag and run frightened out of the room.
Yesterday morning woke up to loud buzzing in left ear. Recalled dream and a bee had flown into my left ear and I didn't know how to get it out.

REFLECTION TIME.
Recently dreams have involved
Pregnancy
Babies
OBE ( being carried in what was perceived as a sling ,as if I was a baby,)
A stalk lays an egg.
I'm told another egg is about to be laid
Given a newly laid egg to eat.
Loud buzzing of bees in a bag.
Loud buzzing of bee in my ear.
Now shortly after this started Aunt Clair posted a very detailed wonderful description of events prior to clairvoyance .
This was on 5th Jan under "process configuration"
Could I have taken this on board and wishfully encouraged dreams of this type ? (Although having a wasp in the ear is not good.)
This business of eggs being laid and the hatching sounding like a swarm of bees could just be my brain making up nice little stories
How do I know? I don't, but only time will tell.
On the other hand someone is talking to me calling me by my name .
I may put myself to the test tonight and deliberately imagine honey being poured on my forehead before going to sleep.

[susan]

Well no honey dreams,but whatever I've dreamed I feel someone who is with me is getting closer.There is always a man but different features each time and I 'm thinking each time " I like him, he's nice and kind" . However I'm also sensing his thoughts as well which is that he is fond of me. Also there's always still some young child I'm caring for.
When I've had really magical or memorable dreams I've always known I wasn't alone, someone beside me but no identification of the person. The fact that these recent ones have the person in front of me and look different each time I think I have to dismiss these as
Just dreams with no message, wild imagination...SIGHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

[susan]

On the other hand could the warmth and fondness be associated with the opening of love and affection which was suggested when I dreamt of the big snake entering the body and lodging in the heart a few weeks ago?
I am starting to See, to Hear, maybe I'm starting to open up to Feeling.....the Clairs........
This morning did energy raising , no long dream to remember but full of symbols whilst in and out of consciousness.
Another short brow centre strobe ,no headache but again I'm feeling as if someone has their hand pressing gently on my crown.
Symbols .... a flame/fire........shower switched on....long thin snake ...
Humpty Dumpty sitting on the wall and I heard the nursery rhyme....( for anyone reading this who doesn't know the nursery rhyme it is an egg that sits on the wall and falls off and smashes) ohhhhhhhhhh not an egg again!
A short scene where I'm sitting by the window looking out holding my mobile phone and hubby comes over to look over my shoulder at what is showing on the phone. I look as well and it shows a photograph taken of my hubby whilst on holiday with a dancing girl, but instead of the girl it is my late mother and she is waving and smiling and I hear a kiss planting on my cheeks.
That was lovely and a complete surprise.
Finally, whilst awake just thinking of getting up, eyes closed I could see a lovely purple/ red colour,this lasted about 6-7 seconds.

[susan]

This morning really excited.
Started with me thinking how I could master this silencing the mind thing when I decided to get up to the bathroom.As I got up I "thought" Take notice of any trips. Well just yesterday I was invited to a meditation weekend held by Buddhist monks,so wondered if this was what the comment had meant.
In bed dozing and woke up to remembering short dream of group of people being filmed by someone and they all disperse except this one girl being filmed. She says Oh it's my turn , come. With me and I'll show you something.I woke up and was wondering about this when I felt lighter and lighter and felt myself floating above body.was travelling up and backwards this time,I had no vision so tried to open my eyes but think it they were my physical eyes and felt my self being pulled gently back to body so tightly kept eyes closed and decided to just look deeply into the brow area.
An eye appeared. A single eye that seemed to be at the end of a long tunnel,it was a human eye and it blinked and just looked at me.
This was fabulous because I knew it wasn't a symbol that flashes up as it was moving and stayed for about 20 seconds or more.
I think I've needed this due to my concern recently over what is real and what isn't . FAB.

[susan]

I'm getting my picture show.
It happened again this am .Awake but lovely and warm relaxed and cozy when I felt an energy tingle in my abdomen.
Wondering why I tried to relax even more and within 20 seconds I am floating above my body.My physical eyes were closed but could see a glimps through a crack and I was above my bedroom ceiling light and on the other side of it.
Decided to look deeply into eyelids and I saw a young boy about 11 years old with wearing a big silver white curly wig very high and to the shoulders. He was wearing a red jacket,it looked velvet and had a high colour.This didn't look like a portrait but like a real person.
I think I'm being shown one of my past lives as I have many times sent out requests to learn as much as possible about my past lives, everything about me.
This confirms to me that most of what seemed possible imagination was a message for me,
: The fish and song "take you to the picture show". Posted above.

: The monkey and the man telling me to take him to his room for pictures at 8.00, then the aborted OBE at 7.55am. Posted above.
Need to point out that this wasn't like a portrait on a white background that I've seen before of a man in period costume.
Yesterday and today both had me leave body and viewed as if looking down a long tunnel , and what I was looking at looked real, not a picture.

[susan]

Another short OBE this morning which I know was a message.
Early am did some energy work and just relaxed when felt myself gently raising above body,no noise, no vibrations,similar to the last two.Rose up and to the right ,could not see the bedroom and then very quickly seemed to speed upwards slightly going to the right but felt very high. I could now see what seemed to be stars and I thought I was in amongst them when I realised they weren't real and appeared to be made of wire.
I look down and realise I'm ceiling height in a very tall grande room filled with tables and women. I landed on the floor but don't think anyone could see me as no-one looked at me and I didn't feel I had a body. the women were beautifully dresses and very attractive and I felt I knew them( I don't) . This was a works evening function when a woman I took to be the boss entered and seemed to notice me and beckoned me over to where she was pouring punch from a bowl on the buffet table.
She tells me that " she" (looking over at someone else) has done really well because she didn't let anything get in her way. She didn't let children stop her success AND she didn't let fear get in the way.
At this point I'm immediately back in body and awake and I knew what it meant.
Only about 30 mins previously before the OBE I had been pondering over a thread I had read on this site which got me wondering if maybe by trying to open up more to the spirit side I could be letting myself in for a few scares as I spend a lot of evenings on my own whilst hubby is working, just what if I attract more than I want whilst awake and alone???
I know I wouldn't let it stop me but the thought still crossed my mind.
I feel sure this was my HS or other reminding me that fear and negativity has to be overcome.
That's me told very quickly after the thought.
A note- the last 3 events have involved consciously leaving body with no vibrations and no astral noise and no feeling of having a body.I'm hoping this could be a start to me being awake and aware of events instead of relying on vivid memory's.

[susan]

Well it didn't last long. back to a dream but it has left me feeling so sad all day.
Went to bed last night feeling fine , woke up at 6.am feeling fine with no memory of dream,did a little energy work on feet but decided to just silence the mind and see what happens.Fell asleep and woke up thinking I was crying and felt so so sad. Recalled dream straight away.
Called into an office and standing by a table there is a small square packet on the table and it's for me. I know it's my final salary and I'm being made redundant.( not possible,self-employed) I didn't want this to happen, I was devastated. I picked up the package and underneath was a small square old fashioned looking photo in black and white.
It was a battlefield with a strange looking carriage. In it were 3 people sitting upright in it but they were dead. My attention went to a young man lying dead on the ground and I remember in the dream saying "oh no...oh no....but the sadness I was feeling was for the family who would be told the news.I started to cry. ( in the dream) Their clothes were strange.

[susan]

Just want to add that they had strange looking pointed hats on.

[susan]

A couple of weeks ago I woke up to something I didn't understand so didn't post. In the dream I was leaving ,walking down a corridor to come back to physical to wake up and I had 2 doors to walk through to go down a long corridor. Before I got to the doors someone walked through , past me and took a seat.( many seats were lined up like on a plane)
I felt I knew her as one of my elderly ladies who had died about 3 months ago .I doubled back towards her because I wondered if she was being looked after in the after life and if I could help her. I realised I didn't have time for this so decided to leave where I thought I heard the words "we'll done"
Now the reason I didn't post this was because I couldn't understand how I thought this person was her.
She resembled a human but her head was dark and miserable looking .no characteristics resembling her but someone who you would just want to leave alone. I've pondered over this and wonder if this is how she was perceived by me in the spirit world.
In the physical world she was miserable to people kept herself to herself and always looked on the negative side of things.On the other hand she had kindness but didn't like it to be known.That twinkle in the eye from her was very rare. Was I perceiving her as people thought of her in reality. If so , I have to add I did give her a kiss the last time I saw her as she lay in bed . There was a part of her she didn't want to be shown. Don't know ....one of those mysteries.

[susan]

Woke up this morning just prior to re-entering my body and was turning and turning being surrounded by thousands of flies and yellow insects and I'm saying "No, nothing in the spirit world can harm me".I felt triumphant as if I had overcome an issue I had a few days ago that up till then hadn't really surfaced much .Smooth entry back into body, In fact felt bit like plates of jelly being dumped over me.
Recalled dream immediately and I know this was me sorting myself out.
I,m standing in my kitchen with my sister and she's pointing to the ceiling where beautiful colours were forming.I took this to be astral so concentrated very hard and slowly lifted off the ground towards the colours shouting " look if you concentrate hard enough you can get there." Next thing someone brings me a tiny new born pig but its only about 4 inches in length and has a long snout and she asks me if I want to hold it where upon I ask her if it will bite me and she replies "Yes" so I draw away. " Drat, stupid I've failed nothing can harm me here stupid, nothing." The flies appeared next which is why I felt so triumphant.
I feel sure I'm working out that I have to have an intention clear in my mind prior to sleep and to focus strongly on that,also the scare issue.
( I'm quite surprised how clear the little pig looked, I could see every detail of its head ,trotters and even little folds in it 's skin underneath)
Well hopefully that issue is sorted and I can move forward again.

[susan]

Easter week-end and so much time to dedicate but feel so pulled to physical.Have done all things in garden needing doing, household things and through the night when wakening up have felt something is preventing me from raising energy. Want so much to add to experience but physical issues seem to be taking over even though they give me great pleasure , I am meditating for two hours late afternoon, bed by 10.00pm Nothing ..Nothing.Nothing...........

[susan]

Okay, it's only the first week in April but I've had absolutely nothing since my last recorded episode.Raising the NEW way every day and meditating but through the night nothing but mundane dreams not worth remembering. The strange thing is not a single energy rush up the body which was happening a lot. It's as if all my energy has disappeared.This has happened before.( not physical energy as I have loads of that) .Could the last 3 really exciting events( although one was very sad) have used up all my energy like a battery gets flat but needs to recharge? Is this what is meant when literature talks of the snake raising and then lies exhausted till the next event? OR has the spirit world or my higher self walked away for a bit deciding I've had enough for now? or maybe both.

[susan]

Strange dream.
I'm standing on the roof of a double decker bus with my arm spread out trying to balance. Others are doing the same but they are too far away to hold on to so I loose my balance and step on to a platform. A trainer is there telling me I have to try again and that I cann't have one of the others to hold onto because he will be I front of me .
Next we are all in a house but the windows are closed and curtains closed. We cann't open them because there is a storm outside.The storm ends and we all go outside but we are very wary,being cautious.We seem to know that strange things might happen.( It's like one of these futuristic films that are meant to frighten you) A mushroom pops up from the ground causing us concern but it gets taller and taller and I put my ear to it and it sings with a beautiful soft quiet voice. This is for teaching small children geography.( we just seemed to know) We now go around the corner where there is a fighting scene where mobs are on the street with guns. We I think just seem to watch,I cann't remember getting involved but a load of police arrive riding on strange 3 wheeler bikes. We run and find ourselves back in the house.
I 'm now upstairs in the bedroom and open the curtains. The house is travelling upwards in the clouds,eventually the clouds are underneath us when I see a clear sky with a lovely full moon.
The moon gets brighter and brighter and brighter when I'm just starting to think its going to start hurting my eyes when I wake up.
Recalled the dream with full detail but too early to get up so must have dozes off again and woke to remembering someone is knocking on the front door( my own house). The post man is standing waving a package which is for me. Woke up.

This has been such a different adventure, no babies ,no eggs, no family members, no pregnancy.
Would appreciate any analysis on this one if anyone has any thoughts.
Just to set the scene, I don't have any personal issues, I didn't watch anything on telly to give me these thoughts.
My only disappointment was that I wasn't feeling any energy symptoms and hadn't had anything meaningful for the last few nights as my previous posts suggested. Felt a bit deserted.

[susan]

Bit of humour followed be 2 OBEs.
Have been pondering over the idea of getting my hair cut shorter and went to bed having been discussing it.
Woke up laughing. A girl is standing with a big mop of black hair ( mine is red) looking like the worst haircut imaginable when she says to another person" I want your advice, should I get it cut" The next image her hair has grown right over her eyes and is like a pudding bowl cut,all you can see of her face is her lips. The other person says " We'll if you want my opinion" and she parts the fringe to show the eyes.
I woke up laughing at the image and was pondering over the fact that she was shown with such funny hair and why ? When I thought I wonder what styles I could go for when 2 different hairstyles immediately flashed up in my vision. I didn't recognise the face,I also have to say that sadly I don't think I would go for either of the cuts as nice as they were they were a bit too short for me.
About 30 minutes later just got to the mind awake body asleep stage when I noticed movement within the inner eyelids. Thinking I might be going to see something I could now hear the noise associated with an OBE but it was a lot quieter this time and no vibrations but I felt myself gently raise up. Vision wasn't good ,the only 2 colours were grey and white but I was going high up and found myself at the ceiling of a very high large area almost like the size of a plane hanger ( I think I've been there before) I wasn't aware of having a body and was pleased at this but as I went passed a light I could feel it touch my arm. This amused me that I couldn't see my body but could feel the light touch me so I went back for a double take and did the same again.I thought about keeping my physical eyes closed so unfortunately this ended the OBE.
Stayed still ,very relaxed,cleared mind,looked into eyelids and within minutes I'm floating up again, same noise but this time into space with stars in the distance. I just floated but the stars weren't getting much clearer and I just came back to body.
Annoyed With myself all day because I know what I'm doing wrong. I'm just waiting to see where I go and not putting any clear intention into it.
I should have taken charge and thought of where I wanted to go. ( on the other hand I'm not that interested in the RTZ when there's the astral to explore so next time will have to remember to keep moving.

[susan]

Woke up frightened with a big explosion in my head and the sound of gunfire so loud it felt as if it was in my head.
Recalled dream straight away ( I know I've posted about a brow centre strobe followed by explosion in my head before, but this one was connected to a dream the other was whilst in light trance with no dream .
In my father's house sleeping when sister comes in to wake me up to give me a present of two boxes of Black Magic chocolates.She told me I should have guessed it would be these..
I seemed to remember rushing out of the house with others excited as if we were on some mission flying planes and then came back home having done a good job.I'm eating a packed lunch but my boiled egg is too hot to eat.
This is when the gunfire started. The house is near the coast and enemy aircraft are above. I'm kneeling on the floor looking out of the window and can see the colour so clear of the shots in the sky,I feel frightened , a bomb has just been dropped close by and I'm waiting to see if it is going to hit,waiting to see the explosion.
Woke up. It was just a dream but I felt the fear, the gunfire was so real in sound and vivid in colour, the explosion was inside my head. The feeling of fear disappeared as soon as I woke up.( Not like being shown the photograph posted above where I felt sad all day)
Just to note here that I have not been doing any brow centre work.
After pondering over this I went back to sleep and had another dream.
I 'm standing on the doorstep with a lot of other people crowding around talking,( got the feeling everything was over now)
A little girl wearing a long nightdress almost to her ankles comes up to me and puts her arms up to me. she wants me to pick her up.I do and notice that her two hands are slightly deformed.I feel how light she is to hold,it takes no effort in fact there is no weight to her.I remember feeling how warm and cozy her nightdress feels against me.
She turns her head and lookers in the distance and says...." Me mummy's gone looking for you because they've taken me heart out".

I'm really struggling with this one,not sure what to interpret but I do know I have a bit of a tension headache but not enough to take a tablet for.

[susan]

Ended up having to take a tablet for the head. Thinking back to the end of the last dream where the heart was taken out.
I'm not good at interpreting but I have noticed that in the last few days since all my energy surges up the body have diminished, I have done a lot of energy raising the NEWS way, but have failed to bring love into my meditation.
I've kind of slapped on the brush, squeezed out the sponge, batted the ball with force ,and then when settling into meditation clearing the mind and looking into brow area.
And yes I've had results like OBEs but that doesn't mean I'm on track. I've realised that I was so intent to bring energy back up to speed that I forgot what the fundamental essence of evolving needs. LOVE.
What a difference it made this pm ,bringing in love during meditation.
Advice to anyone who reads this..( except of course the mods and admins and long term members and those in the know,including within that group Eyeoneblack ( I still have your tail by the shredder but you deserve it back now,will send in post) )
NEW to raise energy but must be followed by meditation involving the key element "LOVE"

[susan]

This morning woke up to a symbol of a flame getting brighter and the memory of flowers everywhere in the kitchen.
Recalled dream.
I was watching someone outside talking to someone else when a door opened and another person vomited all over the floor and all over the person I had been watching. ( in my dream this person looked like Simon Cowell) .He shouts to the person" what's the matter with you are you on drugs or what"? I go to get a mop to wipe it up when I find someone else has already cleaned up. They bring Simon in but he has injuries over his body. As they lay him down he says "It's okay,I'll soon be back to normal" Meaning he'll pay for the repair.

For the record I've just taken out private health
Next I wander into a room where a girl is taking video shots but I notice that she is pretty but her nails are dreadful.In fact really scruffy.
I am now waiting for two friends who have been away a long time. I'm in my grand- parents house.I keep looking out the window then go into the kitchen to wash my hands. I cann't move for flowers. They are all over the floor,the bench, the windowsill and even in the sink. I'm a little annoyed because I cann't was my hands. One friend arrives home into the kitchen and is exited. She tells me that she is preparing for a really big party at Christmas and these flowers are for then. I wonder where she will store them till then. Woke up to the flame and flowers.
An edit 13 July 2014
At the time I thought I might have cancer but couldn't post here incase member of family read this. So now I feel this was them letting me know everything would be okay. But at the time I didn't get it.

[susan]

2 short dreams only, not sure if worth posting but ..... Here goes.

I'm travelling with a group of friends(I wouldn't recognise them in real life. I just knew they were friends.)
I felt this place we were passing through was a community of people all living together and further along was another community. The strange thing is that there was nothing between the two communities, no land, no sea, just empty space. We were on the street where everyone was out having fun. A group of people were putting on a show of Greek dancing and they were really good at it. Someone comes up behind me and gives me a massive ice cream with a big chunk of chocolate on top.I just go to eat it when the wind blows the chocolate off. They laugh,I go to eat the ice cream,got to my mouth. I wake up. DRAT!

2nd dream. I'm standing by a stall with items on it for sale when someone comes and picks up a doll and walks away with it. I'm wondering why he didn't pay for it when he acknowledges to my husband that it was only on loan.
I'm now in a busy place and I'm going to miss my bus home. I go down different streets,see people, drat forgotten something,need to go back to find it. Start again but I'm going to be late for the bus, forgotten something else, got to go back again.
Some friends ask me if I want them to show me to the bus station. I walk with them down to the bottom of one street and the bus stop is there .I realised I needn't get a bus they had taken me home.( I remember this was a village by the sea I lived in as a child and at the bottom of the village if you looked up the street with the sea behind you , two roads ran parallel , meeting at the bottom. )
I had been trying the other route .
Delighted at being home and it was Sunday decided to but a newspaper and sunbathe on the beach.
Woke up.. Fat chance of that, but it was nice to wake up to feeling happy so I'm going to have a lazy day today.

[susan]

Just a quick re-cap for my own benefit.
Today had a fairly easy Sunday but when meditating in afternoon I fell asleep quickly for about 2 hours. This is unlike me because usually my problem is silencing the mind. I've previously had the dream suggesting I was low on energy ( sugar and lucozade) which resulted in me needing to sleep the next day.
This morning suggested I should have a lazy day ( sunbathing) and I fall asleep in the afternoon.
Also, dreams recently are involving previous childhood homes.

[susan]

Not sure but I may have had a hint of some more info coming in the form of a picture or hologram.
Last night I dreamt I was on a doorstep and a girl answered the door but her mummy was too busy to come to the door so the little girl passed on the message from her mummy "Would I just bring the picture with me tomorrow when we meet up?"
Of course this may just be wishful thinking on my part.

[susan]

Have been really tired recently which I think is a combination of heavy workload as well as not sleeping well.
Woke through the night and felt I should try raising energy when so quickly I heard " No Chocolates, No flowers, No Ice cream".
This came so quickly so wondered if I should just go back to sleep,seemed a good idea so I did.
Woke up this morning with a bumpy re- entry back into body. I felt a thud at the sternum and all morning feels like trapped wind. ( had this before). Also saw a small circular spinning disc in the centre of the brow area spinning fast then slowed down then stopped and disappeared. This took about 5 seconds.
I feel I've been laughing. The main part of the dream I need to work out before posting but at the very end I'm facing four friends all sitting on a red sofa and they ask me if I want to come with them. I take a run and jump up standing on the sofa when we all take one big leap into the air and dissolve -gone. Then captions come up as this was the end of a film .
This made me laugh when I recalled it and I feel I've been laughing a lot.
What a lovely way to wake up.

[susan]

I feel a little stupid posting this but for my own benefit I will.
Had a really grounded day, loved it , re-arranging garden and all thoughts of what has to be done before going on holiday.
5 pm came and it was the time at week-ends that I allocate for meditation.
I could have easily stayed in the garden to finish but felt I must do my daily meditation to stay connected.
Finished off odd jobs , only 40 mins left to meditate ( after that a program I like to watch.)
With such a short time I had left to allocate I wondered if I should use I phone for the binaural beats meditation which I ALWAYS USE? Or just silence the mind.
Chose music , didn't work. I have never had a problem on my I phone with music but everything I pressed - nothing happened.
Spent allocated time trying to get music to play. Could not retrieve any downloaded music, everything else on my I phone worked
Co- incidence or not ?..

[susan]

Just a quick thought here but this is two evenings in a row (after the tiredness) that I have been willing to raise energy but something has stopped me

[CFTraveler]

Just a quick thought here but this is two evenings in a row (after the tiredness) that I have been willing to raise energy but something has stopped me I'm curious as to what.

[susan]

Yesterday woke up to a telephone ringing in my head then saw my face on the screen of a mobile phone as if I was looking at myself.
This was just black and white and me as I probably looked .
This morning woke up to a swan take form in the third eye ( black and white again) , then a seal formed behind it and was moving as they do ,then a crab appeared,sideways walking towards me, then a duck walked towards me.
They were all walking towards me in their own fashion then disappeared.
Don't know if the fact that they are water creatures means anything.
Music on eye phone still not working.

[susan]

My bath mat has an aura. Saw it this morning.
Very very tired this am when getting up due to heavy workload.( no energy raising for a while, too busy)
Sat on the loo looking down at white floor tiles feeling very sorry for myself . My eyes just seemed to be fixed to the floor but my brain was elsewhere .I saw a wide pale green colour take shape around the dark red bath mat that was under the sink in the periphery of my vision. Thinking this must be a shadow from the sink I moved it away from the sink and again same colour but thin line formed round it then got wider ,about 9 inches. Up to this stage I had thought that only plants and living creatures had auras till googling this pm.
So ,learnt something new today but what I'm wondering is how is the colour determined?
Is the aura colour determined by the Colour of the mat, the shape of the mat, or the material of the mat?
Anyone passing by with the answer I would appreciate insight.

[susan]

Okay, on holiday now, exhaustion gone, found out simply on Internet that colour red has green aura. So tired state helps me see auras.Energy surges up the body felt again during meditation.been a while since this was felt.

[susan]

I want to record an experience I had we'll before starting this journal.
Until now I wasn't sure " Who" I had had contact with one night whilst sleeping but I knew it was a special moment.
This fits into one of my "Magical Experiences" .
Background to the event------ Was in a very confused and emotional state due to events concerning spiritual matters. Having been drawn a photograph of " my guide" whom I've spoken of before. Within hours of having that photograph I was being drawn to it over and over again. Just staring at it as if it had some kind of magnetic power( but I had no memory of the person)
Within days I was sitting on the edge of the bed looking at the photograph asking questions.Strong energy sensations would travel up my body and the feeling of intense love would fill me. The drawing had both male and female characteristics.
This continued for a long time( since then this journey started with a lot of humour around. I used to have a lot of that) I feel this person has the same sense of humour as me . I would hear words that sometimes seemed to be a bit dated ( not used these days)
I had been told that we had shared lives together. Were from the same soul group. By the artist and a while later from this person.

Now on to the experience,
One night whilst sleeping I recalled a beautiful gentle figure approach me from behind and hold me by the shoulders. It-He-She, whispered gently in my ear words of re-assurance and I felt such love coming from It. Personal words were spoken which took me by surprise and I felt a little embarrassed that these were known by other , not just me.( bit like invasion of privacy)
I was being slowly turned around as it spoke. I could vaguely see shimmering translucent outline of a person but no obvious dress or trousers. The love emanating from this person left me feeling so protected and loved.It turned me round staying behind me the hole time and told me now to go to sleep and I was gently lowered and let go of and I remember slowly bouncing like jelly onto something soft. Slept....woke up.
Who was this?
It knew my private thoughts, it loved me so much and it came to me when needed.
I can understand why people with strong beliefs could think this was an " angel" and in fact this had been an option to consider but the problem here is that I have seen this type of shimmering being before. Once when phasing , when colours were like rainbow and people were slowly moving around. Another when taken to meet with a young boy whom I immediately loved from the bottom of my heart.
It could have been this guide. Strong possibility but the words were spoken as a loving parent would speak to an adored young child.
I think it more likely that this was my higher self coming forward when needed.
In this physical life it is considered natural for a parent to look after its young. After a while it goes to school and others with special skills will take over the teaching but the parent is there in the background for emotional issues and cries of help.
I think the same may apply in the spirit world
However, getting back to the title HIGHER SELF.
Reading " Robert Munroe" again he talks of future selfs coming back to help.Does it depend on how old the soul is as to how many future selves we have? How many times we have decided to return to physical?
If I am made up of what I have learnt up to now including all previous lives, these future selves/ higher selves must have the same plus their own experience to add to ,therefore it would make sense that they also have a higher self looking over them.
Think I'm getting confused now,but just to add confusion to the pot,,,,
People whom we may believe to be guides helping us on our journey have themselves passed through the lessons and many lives on the physical plane therefore have been many different people with different personalities. We know they can present themselves in any form( even just for a joke) This is well documented.
So my thought is not can they but do they change to adapt to what is required from them at the time ?
Could my guide show love and compassion when needed , laughter and humour when needed, gentleness, seriousness?
My guide is so like me .
If we are from the same soul group and have shared many lives I suppose we came from( the same melting pot)
I don't know if my guide and higher self are the same ( I don' think so ) but the love I felt from whom I believed to be my higher self is all the love anyone would need on the other side.
I can understand why gender has no relevance on the other side.
Time for a glass of wine.

[susan]

Checked my paper journal and found similar thoughts just after my last holiday. Feeling so distant from the other side.Last time it took 2-3 weeks or maybe more of energy raising to have really memorable contact.
However this morning just at the point of wakening I felt the energy rush up my body again. Could this be me re-entering my physical?I think so .
I remember being on a small rowing boat with someone and the sea is so calm,lovely sky ( not the rainbow colours). I see 2 boats in the distance then she( the other person) tells me to take a good look around.I do and am surprised to see so many boats of different shapes and sizes and colours , some I've never seen the shape of before). All so close to shore but just standing still in the calm sea forming an arch,semi-circle.this was very vivid but certainly not one of my memorable experiences.
Just at the point of wakening I thought I heard "we'll have to give you a new goal " ( have been given a goal of "To Pray" a while back.) ohhhh that reminds me , a few days ago woke up to ," Search the land and Sea and put a shout out for God"
Now I feel silly writing this because I have never used the term Shout Out. It's just not my vocabulary.

[susan]

Another brow centre strobe this am. Woke up about midnight to an explosion like two live wires touching and sparks. Immediately sat up in bed and looked out the window( which was open) and heard footsteps . First thought was someone had exploded something outside the house but all was calm. For the last couple of days now my brow has felt tight, not throbbing nor painful just I suppose as if I can feel it.
Exhaustion gone. Loads of energy today.Still working out the water creatures but what I did notice in my paper journal is that the " search the land and sea and put a shout out for God" was recorded within a couple of days of the water creatures. This world is made up of water and earth . I suppose I feel God is thought to permeate everything therefore we should feel love towards everything.
Well that said I still have mouse traps down in the garage. I'm no angel but I am off to hug the bath mat.

[susan]

Using this little bit of space to put a thought to myself after reading kundalini posts.
Why are so many people in such a hurry to raise Kundalini. We are here!! We can learn!! Which hopefully will raise our knowledge and understanding and take it to a new level and with extra input from ourselves raise our awareness even higher, but I get the feeling some people see it as a game ie step 1 2. 3. without the learning to live and give and suffer and feel and hope and love and nurture. Why do people want it? to escape from physical existence and go back quicker? To give themselves an easier ride here? It doesn't seem to do so for those that have raised it. If the word Kundalini could be banished maybe people would just aim to connect with spirit or higher self and take advice as pupils do in school. ( your leaving certificate doesn't come any sooner) . Off my soap box now. As I said just using this space to air off what I'm thinking. Apologies if anyone reading this is offended.

[GMAN12]

Also removing the word ascension and higher planes would do even more justice. Otherwise, I think raising kundalini gets you nowhere faster than anything else. It gets you these abilities which people will cash up on, better energy flow, and higher awareness and connects you with your higher self. I found out myself that the escape from physical existence would make it harder to accomplish a goal. It is much harder in the spirit world to do that as we would already be in a place where we know we are safe, sound, away from illness, sadness, and pretty much colorings. I feel you made a good point and had me thinking twice, though I really would like to raise kundalini a couple of times because as RB said, it isn't raise one and done. I admit, I did want to leave existence now, but it is my mind telling me to leave. I thank you for writing about that here susan.

[susan]

After posting I worried you might take this personal Germain 12 . This wasn't and I love reading your posts . keep up the enthusiasm
As well as the school work.

[susan]

Babies are back.
Woke up holding a new born baby wrapped up in blankets when it opens it's mouth and to my surprise it said
" Who Am I "?

[CFTraveler]

Wow. So what do you think?

[susan]

CFTraveller, I wish you hadn't asked that question. I am so comfortable writing about my experiences but when it comes to interpreting I feel a junior,even though I have my own thoughts.
Here goes... For the last 2 years at least since feeling closer to the other side and feeling more strongly about the possibility of being more than just " Susan" I sent out in my thoughts , wishes , to know more about myself and who else I have been.
When I experienced the hologram of a young boy posted above this was my belief getting even stronger. After going on holiday and feeling so distant it had me wondering how much of all of this could just be my imagination.
But I knew it wasn't . Authors suggest having an open mind and not fixing on one set idea. I've kept this on mind but the answer to your question is that I believe this was me finding out by (my self , higher self, other side) that I AM on a journey finding out about myself.
After saying this if nothing else happens this has all been nonscence.
Ps. Thank you for your offer to pm you . My Jurgen Ziewe book has arrived today and my other will arrive soon so it will take time to get through and thank you.

[GMAN12]

This is my opinion. I think that it is possible at certain times in your life you will get these dreams. Breaking the veil one experience at a time till you figure yourself out. I look forward to reading more of your journal! It is very interesting.

[susan]

AKEO.
I think I've had a continuation of the previous nights dream.
I woke up thinking the word AKEO. ( personally I've never heard of it before)
Recalled dream straight away.
I'm waiting in a back room with other people for someone to arrive.
He comes . It's my oldest son and he's carrying a young child about 2 years old, a boy. He had brought him for me to see for the first time. I take hold of him and say how lovely he is and ask what his name is.
My son says AKEO, he then repeats it a second time and says it very slowly like AAAKKKEEEOOO.
I woke up at this stage. I find it interesting that for the last 2 nights I wake up just at the point of getting the question " Who am I ?" and last night a name. This was a dream.there is no comparison to an experience a few months back whereI was taken to a young boy to meet and immediately loved him from the bottom of my heart and this stayed with me for many days after ,and the scenery was not solid,more transparent and shimmering.
Back to AKEO. I've googled this and it is a male name but I couldn't find anything about it's origin.People to this day are called by this name so it could be any century. I'll just accept what I got and not try to guess at things.( would have been nice to find out though)

[susan]

Just a little add on here.
A recap....
***** .OBE d above body then staring into brow area got tunnel vision of hologram of young boy in period costume( long white curly wig and red velvet jacket)

***** OBE ,( I think,because of the scenery although I recalled it like a dream and had no exit awareness) the slightly older boy whom I loved from the bottom of my heart.

***** Dream of the photograph (and had previous hints by dream that I would be shown a photograph) of the battle field where a young man was laying dead amongst other bodies and I felt immense sadness.

*****. Dream of little boy AKEO.

All males, now if anyone upstairs is listening and can help it would be nice to have a balance here . A girls name would be lovely.please.????

[susan]

My mistake I've been given a name Marion before.

[susan]

Dream but was it a continuation of AKEO.
Woke up just at the point of looking at the face of a young baby I was holding. It didn't have good skin,it was flaking all over the face.
Recalled 2 dreams.
The first dream was just a mish mash which I know had contents involving things I had read about in the newspaper.
The second dream was completely different. I'm looking out of a square window in a house. The house is made of wood and I get a feeling of poverty. The house is in the middle of a river and its getting dusk.There are high mountains in the distance and bad weather ahead in the sky.I sense danger ahead and men are getting out of the water. They were to the left of the house and had what could have been like large lobster pots they were holding by a hook at the top of each one.A father and son are in the river still.

Don't remember the rest ,just woke up to looking at the face of the baby.
I wonder if it's possible to hypnotise your self into waking up holding babies???

What I didn't understand at the time and regrettably left out was at the end a speeding modern train came in the scene travelling so fast from the direction of the mountains towards and passed the house in the river.
I think now this was to mean that a devastating storm passed through so quickly.

[susan]

I've hesitated with posting this one but after thinking that spirits can take on any form then there may have been a reason for this . I was dreaming and I was on my own,nobody was around me.( this is reflected in my writing on occasion when I'm getting nothing)
I'm sitting down leaning against a wall when a group of people come towards me and joins me by sitting to the left of me. It's the next bit that seemed strange. A female came right up to me and sat to the right of me but was directly facing me and she was smiling at me. She was lying on her stomach with her arms just the way a horse would. She had long hair but also a long face which looked almost a bit like a horse which made her look strange to look at. I remember thinking this in my dream.I'm just wondering why I would make up a character like that in my mind ?

[susan]

Golden threaded universe.
I am currently reading Jurgen ZIewe's 'Multi Dimensional Man' and I love his style of writing. It's one of the best books I've read but what I am encouraged by are the similarities of experiences.
A few years ago in my paper journal I wrote of viewing behind closed eyelids an exquisite fine gold threaded universe,so fine and sparkling with golden planets and gold lines like thread seemed to connect them.
I have just read today that Jurgen experienced the same.
He describes" ......unfolded the universe in front of me. A vast space opened up, and a giant symmetrical web made from golden threads, each junction studded with an enormous golden sun. Each sun casting off golden patterns, which interacted with each other."

He writes of being with a group of friends that he appears to know but not in physical.
I am currently experiencing the same,( I'm sure many are on this site)
Just love his book.

[susan]

Have almost finished Jurgen's book and feel so happy to read his descriptions of the beautiful sounds, colours, plant life giving off sound etc. he has experienced in higher dimensions.
I feel confident now that what I have experienced and then written about in my magical sections were real.
My near collision with a car,
The mushroom that gave off a beautiful sound.
They are so beautiful to remember and out of this world that when faced with physical reality I would be the outsider considered ' not quite 100% , or there. or with it.
I don't care anymore what people think ,because they are the ones who are ' not quite there yet'.

[GMAN12]

Yes. More experiences for us. The ones who are considered the outsiders. We are spirits living in billions of packed atoms that we call bodies. Most people will never be where we are at now in our lives. Not in this life is what I claim.

[susan]

I have nothing of interest to record here for people to read but for my own record I feel I should.
I feel a little deserted which is not the first time, nor the second.Meditation and energy raising almost every day. No energy surges.
The other day woke up to an ariel view of a white city with pink cloud around.
Recalled dream and a really pretty girl looks at me and then my husband and takes us to a table to look at a pamphlet on the table
It was folded in 3 as pamphlets are and on the front are 2 people. She says these are your parents...look ( now I was only dreaming this so I don't have any vivid recall of the features of the male and female.) Inside the folder was a lovely white city with dome like tops to the buildings and I remember zooming down to an area that had a large seating area but larger than normal. In the dream I thought this was not real because of the pink colouring around it, pink clouds.
Now I am going to dismiss this dream because the book I was reading had a front cover which showed a part scene with pink clouds around . Just a reminder to me that when I am not connected I can have dreams recalled in detail that are so easy to think of as real.

[susan]

OBE.
It seems a long time to me since I actual had a consciously induced OBE,well 2 months,but it happened early this morning..
Conditions were perfect, in a good frame of mind looking forward to gardening tomorrow and buying some new plants. In other words no negative thoughts,happy frame of mind.2 am awake with hubby snoring,started energy raising just in feet up legs and base chakra. 4am still awake with snoring,at some stage after this the symptoms started,no vibrations but loud astral noise like a plane waiting to take off.Knew I had succeeded so concentrated hard on the noise. Felt myself raise up slowly and made a quick decision, not interested in wandering round house just get out there,straight up as quick as possible but I felt everything was so slow. Felt resistance in the roof but got through it. I had no destination in mind but I was still focusing on the sound hoping I could increase speed. ( bit like watching Appolo take off from the ground,plenty of noise but seems to go so slowly at first. )
For some reason I was travelling now sideways then found myself in a dark looking room.( no colour) A television was in front of me and when I turned sideways there was someone who looked like my late mother sitting on a chair.I knew immediately that this couldn't be her because if it was really her she would welcome me or hug me but she was just ignoring me.A man was sitting watching telly as well and I didn't recognise him. I was wondering why I was seeing this and realised they couldn't see me. A younger man was sitting also but he was in a very comfy position. I walked in front of all three wondering who the two men were. Just then the younger man sat up and he was a younger version of the older man. Father,son seemed the obvious. Knowing that they couldn't see me I decided to see if they could feel me. I got my astral arm and attempted to punch the young man in the leg.( violence in the astral)
I made some kind of impact because he let out a joking kind of sound as if he had been playfully hurt. He let out a big grin and looked over at my mother even though she was too far away to have done it.I was being ignored or I couldn't be seen? So decided to leave up through the roof and once again very very slow but raised up and just travelled seeing small square drawings in the bottom of my vision.ignored them and ended up back in bed,felt myself come back into body, bit like jelly again. Opened eyes.
What was that all about?

[susan]

Strange couple of dreams . The fear factor seems to be emerging but I didn't think I had any issues. Great day gardening ,re-arranging, being creative in a way.Went to bed very happy.
Dreams this morning involved me being in my garage and cockroaches came in all over the floor.( okay in physical life I would run) In my dream I did jump up on something making a bit of a fuss when two big dogs came in and chased them away. I remember thinking how strange they looked as they all scurried towards a flap in the garage door leading outside.If you can imagine a big magnet and a load of pins close to it they just seemed to bang and pile up to the flap and rush outside. The two big dogs came up to me and for a stroke because they had helped me.
Other dream I'm being rushed along by a woman to board a small plane. It all happens so quickly and when boarding I'm told my seat number is 80. I go to the end of the small plane looking for my seat but the plane has taken off already and the numbers only go up to 34.I have to stand but I have to hold on to the sides and balance myself because the female young pilot is having fun with the plane and doing risky manoeuvres.One is to go under a small arch sideways leading to a public high street with people on.
Everyone else seemed to just enjoy the experience.
Third dream an undesirable character seems to be in my company and offers me a chocolate mars bar to eat. Under the wrapper it's been chewed at, it would be horrible to eat.
Seems strange to be experiencing fear related dreams or undesirable people. Can't think why? Bring back the magic (subconscious) please

[susan]

Now forgive me for anyone reading this as it is only a " non private thought" not interesting, but for me I need to log this.
Really tired other day and saw same green aura round red bath mat.
Today,working,not so tired , waiting for next patient , looked at chair saw aura , not trying. ( same colour chair - deep red therefore saw pale green)
What I'm trying to record here is that I have a lot of tiredness going on. Since January\ February ( holiday,eating too much) but when it comes to raising energy I want to and get so far but there is something deep in my mind telling me not to or I don't need to.
Now I have had physical symptoms such as .... Sore throat

( after brushing dry cement from patio) ....spots on face ..( a lot of perspiration with the heat , only 2 , went away quickly. ) Mouth ulcer on gum, went away quickly. For the last 2 days ulcer on tongue. Not big and getting better but I have always boasted on having a great immune system .
We all know what the benefits are of raising the NEWS WAY. so my query is .. Not.... Why is my immune system a little low ?
...but... When I need to improve it why during this time am I feeling I don't want to raise energy. Is my subconscious telling me that my immune system is a little low and my energy levels are low therefore don't because it will use up even more energy.??
I truly feel this is why I can not get back on track at the moment .
I can recall Obe or dreams but can not concentrate on deliberate energy raising or meditation.

[susan]

I'm producing dreams in animation.
When I woke up this morning and recalled dream it had me laughing because of the way it was acted out but was definitely related to my thoughts yesterday through the day . To do with judging people by their appearance,not to,but to look deeper inside. And who to trust. A hard exterior on a person can hide the true person.
It was like watching an old film when they had jerky movements and the characters were like cartoon style.Humour at the end where I'm in a pram being pushed by someone, other prams are being pushed by men, then we all raise up into the sky and disappear.
One pram runs away sideways and the man runs after it.
Now the points are,
The style of the characters.
The humour at the end.
The last time I was watching animated characters behind closed eyelids but whilst awake. This was of Tarzan and Jane in an arena and they were fun fighting. The same kind of movements. At that time I got the words ..."TIM CARTOONIST".
I've checked my paper journal and it was the same week last year. Coincidence.
Steven Spielberg watch out,but I'm thinking that sometimes we could all do with just a little humour. If we have it here we'll still have it over there. Just my thoughts.

[susan]

Fab so excited with what happened this morning .
One of the most awake Fully conscious OBE...FAB.
But first the background.
Yesterday decided I need to do more visual exercises for the third eye using colour a lot as I seem to be starting to see auras.Cut down on the NEWS just for a little . Remembered a classroom type dream a while back of coloured balloons but substituted balloons for pieces of colourful fruit. Did 30 mins exercise yesterday.
Woke up this am ,too early to get up,did some more exercises with colour , followed with only about 5 mins of bringing energy from feet up to heart then from crown down through third eye down to heart.
Decided I'd done enough,started thinking about the pile of ironing to try to get through today,could hear my neighbour taking her dog out, could hear my husband breathing behind me, could feel my feet raising from the bed.
I was going somewhere,lifted from body travelling upwards but no effort on my part,no roof to go through,no visual signs of house or sky or stars. I knew I was going to be shown something so just stared ahead ,I did however get the feeling of movement.
Saw cartoon characters,big sizes and lovely bold colours but they were upside down.In my mind I said " turn them round" .They turned round but soon disappeared.

This is the best bit.
In the distance I could see a side profile of my oldest son. My vision then went to the right and a little baby was lying down propped up so you could see the face.I wanted to see more clearly but I seemed to be at a distance and didn't have any awareness of having a body.Then my son came closer facing me and he was holding the baby for me to see....so cute...lovely round face and I'm not sure if the eyes were slightly oriental.then it faded and I opened my eyes immediately.
Now there are options for me to consider.
1) was this a baby that in the future my son will have?
2) was this me?
3) was this AKEO?
4) 2+3 was this me- AKEO.
This was the son who in my recorded dream brought a little boy for me to see called AKEO.
I have listed above other past life holograms or pictures that all have taken more than one night .like a continuation,a build up to the event.
Fab, Fab, fab

[susan]

22nd march I posted an OBE where the message was not to let children or fear get in the way.This was shortly after the tunnel vision of the boy in a silver / white wig to shoulder length . I felt I wanted to know more but when I got this message I decided not to focus on learning more about this boy but just .....go with the flow......
I am thinking more of this today . Cockroaches ....fear... Not to get in the way.... Children to get in the way....
I learnt no more of my young boy in period costume, I've had a build up to AKEO. The previous nights dream in animation with humour that ended in many babies in prams being pushed by many men up into the sky.
I will leave my thoughts open till the next event ,but a possibility is --- was this another?

[susan]

Wow! Didn't think anything could beat the last but I'm as high as a kite with the one this morning.
OBE
Sparkling silver pink stars. FAB.
Woke up about 7am after restless sleep. No energy raising last night. Too early to get up and decided not to raise any energy at all this am but would do visuals. Did the usual fruit cutting,peeling dissecting,smelling ,tasting( like the water melon because of it's layers of bright colour and dark pips. I could just feel the cool juice in the mouth and the dark pip to bite.
After about 15 mins mind wandered to other things to do with physical matters,then must have just got to that stage when the noise started.So so loud,obviously knew what was going on and this was my opportunity to exit.
I concentrated hard on the noise trying to get inside the noise when the vibrations started and they were really really strong this time. I felt my whole body was shaking intensely then ...Woosh....up and away with no effort .
Travelling very fast,no vision at first,the noise was like standing next to a planes engine waiting to take off.
Things started moving in the eyelid,flickering then I see.
I'm speeding past stars,they are beautiful sparkling,stretching out as far as I could see. Some were in clusters in the distance and others just sparkled spread out.This seemed to go on for a while but it was impossible to get bored just for the awesome sight.
My thoughts at this stage turned to distance as we perceive it and for a couple of seconds I felt myself get a little anxious ,what if I got lost,but I quickly binned this thought because I knew it would spoil everything.
Then I'm surrounded by pink,I don't know if it was the stars that were now pink or if there was pink energy surrounding the stars.
I've now past this and can see the pink sparkling area to the left of me .I had gone through it and passed it now , then..
BANG. This wasn't like a POP.Just like a small explosion.
The loud noise stopped and replaced by the sound of birds singing.
Slowly I'm descending,floating down till I'm standing on grass. I,m in a garden hearing birds,there is a slight breeze.
Leaves were on the ground. I'm looking at two bushes,one with red flowers on , the other was a lovely red maroon colour. Cann't think of the name of it but we have it here.This was the border of someone's garden and in the back of my mind it felt a little familiar but I couldn't work out who's it was.
The clarity was as it is right now looking out at my own garden. Colours were seen as clear as they are here. I feel that if someone had walked up to me I could have had a conversation with them and remembered it just as we do here. Nothing was hazy.
Then it just disappeared and I'm back in body,I don't know why,I didn't think of body.

Thoughts.
Awesome but a little disappointed that it was just like a duplicate of earth.Had I travelled so far just to end up in a neighbours back garden.?
When I felt that slight fear could I have been drawn back to the Real Time Zone? I don't think so because I passed the pink area after the fear.
My vision was not 360,not even a full 180,.I was standing looking closely at 2 bushes so my focus was directed there rather than ahead. I was just starting to look along the lawn whenI came back.
When I have remembered previous experiences that I've logged as magical , the sounds were soft and musical,colours were shimmering and translucent. I've even smelt the sweet sweet smell of the grass,but there was no smell,
Could this have been a part of the astral that authors say can replicate the earth for those who have died.
Wished I could have experienced a more interesting final destination.
Well as I've said before...I'll just go with the flow......the journey there was incredible.

[susan]

Another OBE but first I'm wondering if maybe, if I was travelling in my Astral body,( the previous Posted OBE) could I have reached the boundaries that this body would take me and the bang returned me to the Real Time Zone? Also important for me to correct that I " perceived" a breeze because of fallen leaves .

OBE this morning. Now I'm understanding why the 'fear' issue has been cropping up .
This morning woke up 6 am .good nights sleep,no worries. Back to sleep.Woke up to a short dream. Bit strange,yes a toddler was involved but a bit violent. Could not understand , but hey how go with the flow.
Did visual exercises, few minutes of NEWS usual way. Within minutes I feel myself rocking backwards and forwards. Seems good idea but had a concern incase I was rocking my physical body and rolled off the bed. Woke up to check. Was fine . Back to silence the mind ,then rocking again backwards and forwards. I seemed to encourage this and try harder because I had checked physical body.
Then I roll off the side of bed and down and down and then sideways.
I knew the whole time what was going on.
The feeling of moving, everything dark, I could see but it was dark. No astral noise, no vibrations. Was this a dream lesson???
This was the start, now I'm in a dark environment floating around, things are floating in the distance,dark. I enter a building ,everything dark and just seem to float around wondering where I am . I seemed to know at this stage that something not nice was going to happen. At this stage of floating around I was aware that this was deliberate ( I was thinking this )
I could see a spiky ball in the distance, it was black and heading towards me. I felt tested. ( because of this ,it was fun) very quickly this black spiky ball is in front of me and turns to show a gruesome threatening face.
I was ready and just said .....P..S off and go away . Just leave me alone!!! It passed by . I didn't see it again. Few long worms floating in the background but woke up.

NOW ... Psychiatrists would have a field day with me . I woke up absolutely fine, no problems. I've mentioned recently about dreams involving fear and wondering why.
Could I have been encouraged on a spiritual level to lower my vibration by funny but violent dream? to give me an experience of the fears that one could experience in the lower astral. .
Only 24 hours ago I had a fab experience
I felt great at the end like winning a test.. Bring it on......

[susan]

Another OBE again with the same 'fear issue"
Woke up early am ,no energy raising ,only visually peeled a banana twice. In and out of small dreams just to do with physical life.
8 am decided nothing was going to happen, shouldn't expect 3 nights in a row. Checked I was not at the edge of the bed.settled down.
A few minutes later I can hear a radio switched on. This was very quiet but was an American presenter talking about the weather in an American state. I was wondering if it was coming from my radio but knew then that this was astral noise just to ignore.
Started rocking gently backwards and forwards and felt myself gently raise up.
I was still in my bedroom,this was Real Time Zone. At this stage I was flying around my room but I was viewing as if my eyes were half closed. Thinking that I may have my physical eyes slightly opened quickly decided to just accept what I had or I could blow the experience. This time I was perceiving with 360 vision. I could see the bedroom wardrobes then came thousands of little yellow flies.
They headed straight for me and now I'm surrounded by thousands of flies.all yellow, I've had these before and knew they couldn't hurt me. I couldn't even feel them.
I'm now flying fast towards the bedroom cupboards and just go through them.It was darker now. Back into the bedroom and facing the mirror and saw my face vaguely but I think I saw an outline of a young boys face next to mine.he appeared about 6-8 years old.
Turning round now and landed on the floor,lay down and woke up.
Time was 8.20.
Not nearly exciting as the last 2 nights but still grateful to be getting out.

[CFTraveler]

Your experiences have been very rich lately susan. Nice.

[susan]

Thank you CFT.
Been thinking about the last few and wondering if this is my spirit helpers getting closer to me ?
The OBE posted above had me perceive a young boys face at the side of me just when looking into the mirror.Now we know they can and do take on any form for reasons such as not to frighten us.
There is no reason I can think of as to why a young child would be assisting me.I just went with it when flying round the bedroom not knowing which direction I would be going next. The experience ended when facing the mirror.I believe I was meant to look,( even though I also perceived from behind looking at the back of me and the side of the young boys outline.Was this my guide?
Secondly,the OBE where I was in a room with someone who looked like my mother but I knew it wasn't,and the two men with her.
An OBE written in my paper journal before starting this one where I looked up and saw my husband carrying me in a sling.I could see him as clear as if he was standing in front of me in physical awake stage
If nothing experienced soon will post this one

[CFTraveler]

I imagine it could be.

[susan]

Okay, I don't know what happened this morning but I think I still have a lot of learning to do with what appears to be real all the way through and maybe learning when we phase into the dream world.
I will reluctantly put this in the category of OBE turned into dream them back into OBE.
Yesterday through the day had been on this site talking on the dreaming forum about a previous recall .
Went to bed fine,slept till 5am. Remembered a dream where I was looking at a tiny new born baby and I wanted to put it into a comfortable position so the head was well supported. ( telly has gone out of tune) Tucked the head into a really comfy position so it could sleep and sleep . It was very cozy , I felt the coziness.
Woke up, went o the bathroom,came back,decided to lift my top off the floor and put it on the chair ( this is relevant)
Got myself cozy decided to do token effort to raise energy but really didn't feel like it. Within seconds of finishing I get that jelly feeling.no vibrations,no astral noise just jelly feeling as I feel myself raise up from the bed. I have 360 vision and can see a 360 of myself. My face. I'm now heading straight upwards fast with the feeling that someone was behind me.
The same beautiful stars sparkling,I'm in space travelling fast but there was no pink energy amongst the stars this time.
I saw what looked like a space station in space in front of me slightly to the left.

NOW THIS WHEN IT MUST HAVE TURNED INTO A DREAM.
I am entering onto the space station,a little dark with corridors.Slowly lowered to the ground with someone behind me . I feel a little frightened but know that I have to stay calm and not get frightened or this will spoil the experience.Is this what this has all been about?
( telly playing up again)
Men about 6-7 just standing there in different positions. But they were all in white all over. Someone came from a corridor with a lovely loving voice and came forward. I felt little in awe and fear but tried to stay calm. Male voice he says in a soothing voice .
"My dear come with me"
His whole body was in a white suite that took the contour of his body and including his head. Hence the apprehension.
( telly is really playing up)
The others were all the same but a woman was at the side and to my relief she had the body suite to the neck which showed a head as real as mine, with a normal hairstyle? I felt no love or connection to this person ,just as if she was there doing a job.
I was taken along a corridor,some other people were around with the same white suites on but I didn't focus on them.
I felt at this stage that I was being carried. Entered a room that I felt was an " interview room" .
Remembered nothing until travelling back, spinning over dry land area saw ' sketching 's ' of wild animals then dry land with no grass then felt jelly like back into body .

Woke up and have been trying to put an explanation to this. Hence the intro on the other part of this site.
Please please if anyone can come up with any suggestions (other than what I have decided could be the only possibility,) please advise. I really don't want to loose credibility on this site. Open to suggestion .

[susan]

I need to add the revelance of going to the toilet and lifting my top off the floor. I could not at this stage have dreamt of wakening up because my top was on the chair in the morning.

[susan]

Nothing much happening but feel the need to close my thoughts on this last event.
Every other experience has been exciting and left me feeling that it was meaningful and happened for a reason, and this one has also but I cann't on this occasion leave it ( as I say..."go with the flow")
So my thoughts on this are,
1) prior to this had been thinking that spirit helpers may be slowly getting closer to me.
2) A recent OBE where I was told not to let FEAR or children get in the way.
3) Recent OBEs involved confronting cockroaches,( yes I'm frightened of them) ,tiny yellow flies2 times,( never met any in real life) ,black spiky haired gruesome looking balls.( never met one in physical although walking up my high street sometimes......)
So this comment was I believe referring to fear in the astral.
25th June,OBE amongst the stars,fab.

This last one I felt someone was behind me ( taking me somewhere?) A space station is a meeting place for space travellers,meeting place I feel is the relevant point. William Bullman reminds us that we can ourselves influence shape and what we see
by our thoughts. Also that the reality we experience is interpreted by our subconscious mind,therefore none of the people we encounter during an OBE actually are that form,some are conscious of their form and some are not.
So from seeing the space station to entering it I think I perceived the people as I did because I would expect people to wear white space suites in space( although these took the contour of the body and face) My attempt to control fear so I wouldn't ruin the OBE maybe made them look scary.They were likely to pick up what my thoughts were , which may be why I then saw one as a female just like us,because it did the job,I didn't feel so anxious. He had such a loving soothing voice .
This wasn't meant to frighten me but I think this may have been what I was preparing myself for.
I have no recall of what was said in the room,maybe it's stored somewhere deep in the mind and will surface when it's time.
Enough Said by me on this particular OBE but...........READY FOR MORE........

Last 2 mornings woke up to just astral chitter chatter,one was a woman calling a man Bob to help her.She was pleading with him to help her," please please Bob you have to help me".
Next 2 were interesting.
" Come to a christening on Thursday at 1.15am ...( strange time in morning to have a christening. Reminds me of 'bring the monkey to my room for photos at 8 o clock)
Another was .... " Channels for tunnel vision are now in place" .

[eyeoneblack]

Finally we get the news ;0 and it was just as I suspected. A couple years ago I wrote a guided meditation where I took the participants to an orb in deep space so that the sun was merely another star and our destination was only a star in the unimaginable, unfathomable future.

I never actually gave this meditation because I was afraid it would freak someone out - to be disconnected from the 'known' without any hope for the conclusion of the lifetime journey. There were 40 people in the orb and as you approached the orb, or rather the people, would dance in brilliant lights. For some reason we all wore brown uniforms.

Personally I found enormous peace in this situation and it soothed me. But, like I say, it leaves you with nothing to 'hang on to' - no past, no future, just an endless journey in space and time.

I knew I was going to love it (the OBE) when you gave it up to us.

Bravo!

In space amongst the stars is still Susan] ;)

[susan]

Just a little reminder to myself a time when I really felt my guide ( or someone) was around me a lot.About 18 months ago.

Woke up thinking I could hear a buzzing sound.This was very gentle and quiet,not like the loud buzzing when OBE in progress.Then got a quick flash of a cartoon character with a big head and heard " Lightyear" . Opened eyes and tried to work out what this meant.
Then put the two together " Buz Lightyear" . Knew I'd heard this before. Googled .
INTER GALACTIC SPACE TRAVELLER. ( cartoon character)

Last part of dream before waning up ,a man asks me my name.I tell him,I ask him what his name is.
He says."Yertachiman." I ask him to repeat this , he says it so slowly.
YER.......TA.......CHI......MAN.......
Took a while to catch on .I'm always slow at jokes.
YER ( YOUR)......TACHI. ( TAXI).....MAN.......

Always good to remind myself humour carries on whichever plane your on.

[susan]

I just want to record for my own benefit that I feel that I am at a strange stage where I need to / want to understand so much so I am reading books such as William Buhlman, Kurt Leyland and Robert Munroe.
I am now wondering how much I should take on board ???.
I realise that these Authors , well respected to this day , have well respected people on this site suggesting not to take too seriously the claims of a particular author.
Their experiences have been so detailed and thought out that books have followed.
I feel reminded not to get into a particular ( story) direction as to how the after life enfolds.( direction)
In other words as I've reminded myself before ...." go with the flow" . Keep an open mind !!

[susan]

Day off today,so very tired or is it lazy ness ? 2nights ago just had a dream but it was fast paced.
Here goes....
Have 8 puppies, come home.need to water them and walk them and feed them. Can only find 1 puppy ,where are the rest,need to find them quickly or they will die. Look in a bag 2 more but there should be 4. In a hurry,must find the rest or they will die.
Where are they? I only have one lead,can only take one out for a walk,the rest cannot be walked but they need a walk.
I'm in the garage that had the cockroaches in a previous dream, the puppy is on a lead but with such force for the size of his body he jumps up to a ledge almost ceiling height.Pulls down a rat half chewed and rotted,to the floor. I step back ( not pleasant to look at.)
Then I'm holding a something that looks the size of a cockroach upside down seeing that it needs attention.
Flip...........
As I write this I realise what it may be saying ...
I thought this story line was going in the direction of ...I need to slow down ....
But !I think the message may be ..I need to address my fears , the reason why I'm feeling so very tired sometimes.
This afternoon went to lye on the bed and just dozing off saw someone on a bicycle falling off it , a while later saw a tray with many glasses of fruit juice on it.
NOW here is the big question. .???????

From what I understand from the books I am reading,
Our thoughts and desires show up around us in energy balls like clouds.( still on the William Bullman book)
Am I reading my own thoughts? Which could be misinterpreted by me on occasion as a message.
Must note this has nothing to do with OBEs . A completely different experience.

From falling off a bicycle to glasses of fruit juice I may take this as a message that I need to slow down and drink plenty of vitamin enriched drinks.
BUT. Am I reading my own thoughts that surround me when slowly drifting to sleep.
I know my body is very tired and because of that I need to slow down and I cann't go at the same pace I used to do.
I think on this occasion I was reading my own ( thought balls) ,but then deep deep down I know it's true.
LESSON FOR BEGINNERS.. Don't follow Susan. You'll get lost in the Maze of confusion.

[susan]

OBE.
This morning woke up with no recall of dream. The next 2 hours before getting up,in and out of consciousness,short dreams,just to do with daily activity.Decided to just do a bit of energy raising but only the feet and base chakra then settled down. Just got to that mid way stage whenI'm looking through closed eyelids and sense I'm moving.
No astral noise,no vibrations,no jelly feeling, no sight but I KNEW I was going somewhere.
Still no landscape, just black but moving when I saw a single eye again.It wasn't like a picture symbol that flashes.
It was like the last one. I could see the folds of the skin around the eyelids and it stayed for a few seconds.
Also this time it was positioned to the left of my vision.The last time I saw this it was definitely like viewing down a long tunnel but not this time.
The eye disappeared and I have vision.
FAB. I'm flying high in the sky over vast area of sand. I was thrilled at being out again,specially when I thought I'd had my whack for a while and I hadn't put much effort into energy raising.
I felt excited at the feeling of flying around so high with sand down below, I'm sure I could feel the wind around me .( but I don't know if we do perceive wind???)
I was now high above three pyramids,flying over their pointed tops. They seemed to be the same colour of the sand.
It ended so quickly.Finished,awake.
Now this is twice I've see a single eye. If anyone has any insight what the eye represents would welcome any comments.

Co- incidents do happen. Just after that, got up. Put kettle on. Fine. I pad re-charging in Kitchen .Fine. Telephone in kitchen .Fine.
These were the only three electrical things I used then,all downstairs sockets go off.
I'm not an electrician and I know there will be a perfectly technical reason for this ,just co-incidence.

[susan]

I supposeI should record this one even though it was a dream but it happened maybe half an hour after the OBE posted above where I was flying over sand and pyramids.
Dream recalled,
Flying high again over sand when I come to sea and I land on the sand just in front of the sea. This is crazy but there were GIANT PUMPKINS scattered over the shore and they had the tops cut off and they were carved inside to reveal a little office that would hold a person. During the dream I seemed to be working out that these were look out posts to keep away intruders.
Behind me was a massive cliff stretching the length of the shore. I could see a group of people on the top of the cliff . They were busy doing something all together.
Here goes,they were all human shape but looked like they had black shiny body suites on including their faces.
( Now that's a surprise)
One spotted me and immediately flew down to my level and just looked at me. It was a distance away but I felt I was intruding and was not welcome. I took the message and just flew upwards to the sky.

Now I'm going to think of as many interpretations as I can .
1) This was a dream and due to a previous OBE involving similar but white ( characters? Spirits? Entities? Aliens? ) this may have just been a mere dream of my own making.
However, Why on earth did I make up Giant Pumpkins as look out posts. Surly I would have made them of brick or wood or stone.
During the dream I was working out what I thought this was meaning.
Why turn them black,it would have made more sense to have them white or grey.

2) If the interpretation from the previous OBE with the friendly white suited entities was meaning that they were a more advanced spirit and I perceived them as I did out of fear, distorting their appearance,then these black suited entities ( just trying to avoid abbreviating which may cause offence to many people.) may have also been a more advanced entity but during this dream I was not frightened the slightest because I knew I could just fly away.

3) Could this have been a real astral plane that I landed on and I wasn't welcome.?

4) Could this have been a real astral plane that I landed on and the higher cliff represented a higher plane and the entities represented what might be known as GateKeepers. I was not allowed access. .
We know the astral is full of strange and wonderful sights and landscapes and spirit forms that are not not just the dreamers creation.
Well that clears that up!

[CFTraveler]

I like #4.

[susan]

Just feel I need to give some more thought on the post 27th July posted above.
The Eye.
The Pyramids.
The Great Seal Of America depicting an eye on top of an unfinished pyramid.

Although this was viewed in two stages and not a flashing symbol. I first saw the eye , then when vision set in after first seeing sand I was then above 3 pyramids.
I was above pyramids
EYE was above pyramids.
Now I'm either looking too deeply into things and need to let go OR I am so so slow at working things out it would be easier to learn symbols.
Problem there is if I know the symbols I might not trust what I get thinking imagination.
My biggest buzz had always been experiencing events first ,thinking it didn't make sense, then reading about it in Astral Dynamics.
2 lovely hypnopompics this am( think that's the correct word)
1st A plane flying high in the sky then the back half of it turned into a white dove.
2nd. A lovely big face of Micky Mouse cartoon with a big grin and winked.

[susan]

Just using this journal to record an OBE that happened a few years ago.
I was at the new discovery stage of OBEs and reading all about the different levels of existence in the after life.
Sent out many many wishes to learn and experience the lower planes of existence.
We read about the higher planes but I wanted to know the very bad . I was feeling sorry for every type of spirit whether animal or human that is trapped in somewhere that they could maybe get out of with guidance.
This happened one night.
( from my paper journal )
Woke up through the night,did a bit of energy raising ,well quite a lot in fact,then felt myself rise up above body. No astral noise this time but felt like wobbly jelly. Wondered where I was going as I was not putting any intention into this.
Strangely I floated downstairs through my conservatory and out of the door when I saw them .
I wasn't in a lower dimension it was my back patio but what I saw had immense sadness.

3 large " THINGS " with such such sadness in their eyes.
To describe just one would be .... A giant cat with hair five times the size of the cat. MATTED ,not one hair was straight, it was the biggest load of mat imaginable.Such Such sadness . The eyes were so sad, hidden behind the mat but could see the pupils of the eyes and close up it was as if the pupil of the eye was made of material . I could see a web on the pupil as if it couldn't see properly.
They were different shapes but sadness felt for all.
They didn't move.
At this stage " Warrier Good Samaritan Susan ". wondered if it was safe to touch them but I didn't .I don't know why but just had this knowledge that this was out of my reach.need to leave to others to help.
Woke up.
I didn't feel sadness for long , I think it was because I didn't actually visit that realm , but memories of what I saw leaves such sadness. If we could all see this we would all just want to help. So so sad.
Maybe if I had actually visited this ( realm? Vibration?) I may have taken on board deep deep depression? Don't know.

[susan]

The morning before I got good news about my own health which had been chewing me up for a while( presented in recorded dreams of half chewed rat and cockroaches which I am scared of in this life), I had been hoping for another experience.
It didn't happen but I woke up to a very vivid dream where I am holding a telephone to my ear and listening in to a conversation.
It sounded like me speaking and said.
" I am supposed to be flying today ( felt she was an air stewardess) but I've been told I'm not allowed to because someone has told them that there's something I'm not understanding. I have to stay until I do ".
Now the news I got was much better than I had been expecting so I can completely understand the comment and the physical tiredness on occasion therefore feeling on occasion I was being Dis - couraged to raise energy.
So early am tried to raise just for a short time when,no astral noise but that jelly feeling,wobbly raising up but I had no vision,then it set in and I,m flying over my late father's home about 2 miles away.this only lasted for seconds then I'm back in body. About 30 mins later the same starts again but I have no vision the entire trip but am aware of flying ,moving. I tried the command "vision now" but no vision came.
Back to body and I was just thinking that that was a waste of time when I heard " we'll your back out again" and got a flashing picture of a pair of large framed glasses.
This morning just at the wakening stage saw a lovely image of a woman floating down from the sky and a man catching her. (These weren't looking like real people, more like just the outlines of the two.)
Then I heard " One Eyed Glass Ball". I think I need to do a little visualisation exercises.

Now this might read as daft thinking but I've already recorded previous experiences about the need to conquer fear in the astral ( even though I didn't know I had any) and what followed after.
I have a feeling I may be trying to conquer fears that I have in physical life but through dreams.
This morning one short dream where I am with friends and we are on the top deck of a double decker bus and I'm sitting right at the front next to the window and it's pitch black but the bus is moving fast and tilting all angles.
Another one yesterday where I'm looking up at the ceiling of a room. I'm sitting on the floor and someone is with me. We are watching a long line of rats mice beetles ants just walking above us along the ceiling and I'm commenting how they could easily fall on top of us . But I didn't feel any fear.
In physical life I no longer go on buses but when I did I always had a fear that the bus would topple over if I leaned on the side.
Even leaning against the inside of a plane I had slight fear of it tilting, inside a train even,if I lean against a window I have a little fear.
EVEN THE SIDE OF A SHIP.
This is silly I know. However, I wonder if this may be something carried over from a past life?

[susan]

I've just re- read what I've written and only now seen what may be a connection.
The fear of falling from a height, and the image of a woman being caught as she falls from the sky
I've said before how slow I am at seeing possible links!

[susan]

Just a little note for the journal of 2 small dreams recalled.
1) Was sitting on the floor talking to a few people when someone was sitting facing all of us talking.I looked at the person and noticed that she was talking non stop to no one in particular. in the dream I thought " oh I think she must be channeling and we are supposed to listen." I listened. Cann't remember what was said.
2) popped my head around the doorway leading to a corridor,walked around it when suddenly loads and loads of strangers walked in .All wearing the same kind of of traditional costume.They were all strangers to me but I felt they were all family members of my husband. One man was sitting and for some reason as I passed him I seemed to be working out that I thought this was my guide. I was sure it was,but there was no reason why I should think this. He didn't even speak to me . Just looked at me.
( ps . No he wasn't handsome,)

[susan]

Woke up at 6 am with no recall of dream .
From 6-8 am in and out of dream state with 4 different dreams where with all of them I felt I was being woken up quickly to remember. I've posted before it can be like someone clicking their fingers and I'm awake,definatly feeling someone or some people want my attention. Will post the last 2 which were more interesting than humorous.
1) I only remember the last line of the conversation where someone is saying.." The difference this time is you are dealing with Angels". Then,
I am looking through a round window in a door and see myself sitting talking with someone at a small round table in a room .
The room was all white and the person I was talking to was the entity I met when I was taken to what I perceived as a space station.
Once again I saw a human shape but it's colour was white all over with no clothes. Side profile the head was in proportion to ours with no distinctive features to note. I remember seeing folds around the neck just as we may have.Woke up quickly.
I've already posted in a previous post what may have been the cause of me perceiving what I saw last time.
With this one I'm not putting any interpretation to it. Just telling it how it happened.

2nd) I woke up hearing a telephone ringing in my head . I knew it wasn't outside or in the house. it was an old fashioned ringing tone and went on and on till I thought. " okay, you've got my attention" .
Then a quick flash of a young boy about 11- 15 years old. I've seen him before. He was very innocent looking and gentle.I feel sure this was the same boy I was taken to meet at my late father's house one time during an OBE which I would have put in a Magical section if I had documented it in the journal. I've mentioned this on my first page of this journal how the atmosphere was shimmering colours and translucent and I loved him from the bottom of my heart.he was pure,innocent and gentle.
Who is he? Is he me? Was he me?
He is someone I should know.

[susan]

My journal was started on Feb 13 but my paper journal was started well before that.
This next OBE happened ( or recorded , 17 th Dec 2012) this was just days after I had been sending out wishes to get closer to any spirits working with me .I wanted to see them. ( come to think of it this has been ongoing) I had previously had an experience where at the end I felt a presence standing behind me as I lay in bed on my side and felt two indents on the bed behind me as if someone was leaning on the bed looking over me but I turned chicken and got too frightened to turn and look.

OBE.
Decent nights sleep.6am sleepy stage when usual symptoms start suggesting I was loosening from body and OBE in progress.
This was not expected by me.Was moving upwards,then vision set in. Crystal Clear.(as clear as the one when I was travelling amongst the stars and heard a bang landing in someone's garden)
I was being carried in the sky in a sling. I felt this was like a stork carrying a baby or an egg in a sling.( the thought came to me )
I looked up to see what was above me and was alarmed to see a man wearing a nappy with a big safety pin holding the nappy together.( don't use them nowadays)
It took the appearance of my husband,and he just grinned at me. I was being transported somewhere.
I was placed down in the corner of a verranda onto a small child's plastic chair. A small table was next to it . A small bowl of grapes was put in front of me on the table and I was asked ,
" HAVEN'T YOU EVER BEEN TO A LITTLE BOY'S KINDERGARTEN BEFORE?"
My gaze was fixed to the floor because I saw the most awful clumpy old fashioned shoes on this person with the thickest of tights that were wrinkled at the ankle. ( obviously the spirit had changed appearances).
Now when I woke up I was annoyed that that the spirit world would impersonate my husband and have him looking so stupid.
I stayed annoyed for a few days and even sent out thoughts that this wasn't a nice thing to do and I wasn't amused.
I always knew I had a sense of humour but this was aimed at someone very close to me.
It took days before I really came to grips with 'Why'

I had been asking them to show themselves. only days previously I had chickened out when they might have been getting closer.
This was the best way to show they were close by impersonating someone who I wouldn't be frightened of seeing, with a bit of humour thrown in.
But also using the opportunity for me to gain knowledge.( or at least to try to work it out)
Possible interpretations taken from Betty Bethard's dream book which is the only one I have.

KEY WORDS?

Stork. New directions- new growth -spiritual beginnings.
Baby. New birth within self,new aspects coming into being.
Egg. Seed of new life.
Boy. Masculine child part of self,growing masculine qualities within.
Kindergarten. ( nursery) A brand new part of self has been born and now needs love and nurturing.
Grapes. Nurturing for the soul.( fruit) reaping what you have sewn,a job well done.

This explains why when starting this journal I chose to call it NURSING BABIES.
I felt at the time I always was with a young child,and even now my experiences still contain babies or children or teenagers.
NURSING ( A Baby) Nurturing a brand new part of self with love.
I just love it when the jigsaw starts to it slot in place.
I would have missed all of this If I had stayed annoyed not looking further.

[susan]

DREAM.
This was recalled this am as a dream but I remember working something out as to the meaning during the dream.
It starts with me in a classroom and someone is teaching history which I have little interest in and am not paying attention.
The teacher seemed to notice this and chose me to take over the note taking. He was nice and didn't tell me off when he noticed that I hadn't really written much. He kept giving me bits of sticky tape to highlight points on my note pad he wanted me to remember.

Next part of the dream I've a feeling I've gone back in time and I'm in a dark walled room,storage room I was thinking.The room was below ground level but there were steps in the corner leading to daylight. It was only just below ground level. I felt this was a storage room to keep things cool. Someone comes down the steps and asks me to pass the jar of honey.Many jars are hanging on the wall with string wrapping a cover around the top then a long piece of string was hanging from it to hook onto something on the wall.
I ask the person what it was to be used for and was told that it would preserve for thousands of years.

Next part of the dream I'm standing with a large group of people on a giant map.this had a long river to the left that ran along the whole length of the map.I felt this was Egypt with the river Nile to the left.
This was the best bit....A massive pyramid comes from the distance looking so powerful,sliding along the sand getting closer and on the top is a big glowing ball with the head of Elizabeth Taylor in it.( I know she played cleopatra and was stunning in a famous film.)
In the dream I'm thinking Wow how clever,what a brilliant way to tell a story.I'm now this person again and this was a sign that we have to leave the land. We must not come back .I knew I was having to leave a woman I loved and If I came back again I would be killed. I would never see her again.

[susan]

Just want to add a little following from the above dream.
When I wrote that I was told the honey would preserve for thousands of years I almost didn't write that point because I thought it couldn't be right. But it's not up to me to change what I get or cherry pick what I give.
Delighted I gave it.
Have just googled ancient Egypt and honey and it confirms how important honey was to these people.
I found that,

Archaeologists opened an 18th century Egyptian tomb discovering vessels of edible honey over 3,000 years old.

Ancient Egyptians used honey in the mummification process to preserve the dead.

Ancient Egyptians paid their taxes in honey.

Ancient Egyptians used it as an offering to a God 'MIN' for fertility.

They also used it to treat wounds as an anti- bacterial.
Pyramids have been mentioned a few times by me recently.
Being shown 3 beautiful coloured pyramids.
Being shown a single big stone pyramid with light coming down the side of it from the sky.
Flying over 3 big pyramids in the dessert.
This last one.

[CFTraveler]

Yep, honey was the main antibiotic used. We tend to romanticize them and give them an air of mystery, but we have a lot of writings that they left, explaining all the amazing things they were capable of.

[susan]

Nothing of interest for anyone to read but for my own benefit want to record how I feel .
For the last week have been very very grounded. Wonderful to have family reunions,( with family problems to work on) General anaesthetic inside body, therefore much tiredness .
My body is tired( just for a day or two) , but my night time recalls of dreams have been very memorable but not nice but full of interpretation. I know that through the day so much is going on in my mind and my night time recalls reflect that but the point is just how vivid they are.
.... Two elderly cats that I have ( don't really) that are really old and unwell and need to put down but I don't want to put down, but realise I have to ,and to look after a young kitten.
Someone whoI am trying to help but she has me chasing her around with the help of her family then she tells me I have " hodgkins Lymphodemia " and says it in a very loud voice opening her mouth very wide to say the words.

Now any newbies reading this I just want to emphasise I do not have this condition and have no reason to believe I ever will. I can relate to reasons why I might have these stories in my dreams( except this )
So my message to my self and any newbies is that no matter how real dreams my seem , if there is a lot going on in physical,don't trust what follows.
Distractions cause a problem. ( love family but need to eliminate outside distractions ) to get back on track.

[susan]

Just a dream about 3 weeks ago but it was so strange.
In a large room with a lot of people when we have to look under our chairs to see if we had an umbrella under it. I did, and it was black,the winner. I had won the prize. It was a T shirt,but when I opened it it wasn't.It was a gorgeous white lace overcoat that was three quarter length and went over my clothes. Someone was with me as I tried it on and I felt like a French model on the cat walk. Now this was not that I really felt this, I mean I felt so smart in this I could have seen it on a cat walk.
Next part I have to do something first before going somewhere but am running out of time and everyone else is going in one direction so I give up on what I had to do and join everyone else walking in their direction.
We were all heading for a large church entrance but behind me were animals of all kinds coming in as well.
The church was full of people and animals. It reminded me of Noah's Ark. I found a seat in a shed within the church with others. We are all looking towards the pulpit when a horse puts it's head over me into the shed and I say to someone next to me. I've never seen a horse with glasses on before." It had large framed glasses on.
Said it was a strange one.
The church was like Noah's Ark.
Is there a connection to "search the land and sea and put a shout out for God" that I got a while back?

[susan]

Woke up to remembering a lovely ending to a dream this morning.
The first bit was to do with slowing down a little with work. This was the way I was thinking in physical so not worth remembering but the last bit had nothing to do with that .
I'm in a large room sitting with a lot of people at a very very long wooden table. we are all sitting on the same side on a long bench.
Only one person is standing on the other side and she takes the form of a previous female boss I used to have and she was wearing a business suite. We are all a bit too crowded so I have to move to the end of the table where she comes and sits opposite me.
Already she has put decks of playing cards in front of all of us.The people at the other end know what do but I didn't hear what she said.
I pick up my deck but now the have changed into miniature cards folded over with beautiful water colours on one side and when I turn them over they are wonderful. Each one has a water colour painting of different but very spiritual faces,men with long hair. I felt they resembled the way disciples may be portrayed,that era. I felt they were very spiritual from a long time ago.The cards had thread through them and I just knew They were Christmas gift tags that we all had to send out to people.
I was now waking up when I got a quick flash of a thick silver necklace around a neck but I could see the inside part of the necklace and it looked like snake. A half silver and half snake necklace.
Now to be honest if I could replicate these tags and produce them for retail market I would make a bomb. Their face and eyes were full of love.

Now yesterday was my second day of working in a dementia care home which I visit every so many weeks. The emotions that I experience every time are always the same. Physical tiredness, frustration at times, but much much love and lots of cuddles.The most rewarding but exhausting way to spend a day.
Some examples.
Large framed lady moving so slowly in a lot of distress being brought to me. She isn't encouraged to use a wheel chair,mobility has to be encouraged but it's too much for her and a chair is brought for her. She starts crying. why? Because she feels she is a nuisance because we have to attend to her. Tears in her eyes. I just put my arms around her and gave her a big cuddle and a kiss and got a big tight cuddle back and a kiss.

Another lady,aggressive all day walking around looking at her reflection in the brass finger plates on the door being angry with the reflection she saw. Someone gives her a doll to hold. She changes and thinks this baby is her son. She spends the rest of the day cuddling this baby and talking to it with much love.I admire the doll( didn't call it either a baby or a doll to her ) she beams and holds my hand and walks with me smiling and happy.

Another lady who walks around being very very angry with someone. She approaches me . I know I'm in for it. I open my arms to her as she approached, beamed at her and gave her a cuddle. She changed and smiled and patted me on my back,talked about something but we were having a conversation and she smiled as she walked away.
Someone else not in too good a mood is shown a beautiful small puppy that has been brought in. Adorable. She smiles and strokes the dog showing affection.

Another lady sitting in her chair saying nothing just looking around. Then she smiles and starts to talk and laugh to someone in the chair next to her. The chair was empty.
These people yesterday have so much love inside them but it needs coaxing out
Wonderful day.

[susan]

10th August post have just re-read. Quote upon wakening --- One eyed glass ball" ......
This was an interpretation by me at the time that I need to do more visual exercises and I believe this to have been true as I was having poor vision during OBE.
Now I remember Butterfly Woman once commenting that sometimes the messages we get can have more than one meaning.
I have just gone through a phase of pyramids and one eye appearing a couple of times which left me very excited.
A recent experience recorded during this time had a pyramid approach with a large glass ball on top ( with the head of Elizabeth Taylor which I felt was suggesting Cleopatra.)
One Eyed Glass Ball..........
At what stage do we stop trying to be clever and look into connections when they seem to come forward ?
Maybe the world is flat!
Please please I AM NOT SUGGESTING FOR MINUTE SECOND CLEOPATRA. EGYPT is the message.!!!!!

[eyeoneblack]

I'm suggesting the 'eye' is an invitation to the 'Mysteries'. Hang on, might be only the beginning.

[susan]

Ooooooooooohhhhh Richard I hope so . I have been getting a lot of singing in my recent dreams.
Eg . In a church the congregation are singing " merry Christmas"
A mother figure with a long white apron on to the floor ( seen her when I met the beautiful boy in the most magical settings and he had my colour hair,) this morning I see me in front of the mother figure and she has her hands clenched together and she s singing
" She is mine she is mine"
This is becoming so hard to dismiss what I get because it is so lovely, but the brain may just dream up .?????????

[Tutor]

I agree with Richard. Susan, with exuberant anticipation, "hang on" and wait upon...

[Tutor]

Taijitu

a song for you Susan and your beautiful boy, you two that are one...

Nobody's Business: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYftJLL4Yfo

note on use of word in above song lyrics: Lexus is a boy's name, meaning "law", as in "lexicon"; also a hookup of two words, "luxury and ellegance".

[susan]

Thanks,lyrics are lovely.

OBE.
Feeling the need to work harder on NEWS as I always feel I need to re-charge my batteries after a while. I want to consciously induce my own OBE s because I know that sometimes I Have been helped out. So it worked this morning.
4am did some NEWS and a little visualisation exercise with the fruit. Really hard silencing the mind and staying still.Every so often I would get restless so do more NEWS. 5 am , 5-30 then totally relaxed,body and mind when I heard the ( plane engine) astral noise.
Not very loud this time but knew this was the opportunity.
Focused hard on the noise,as if trying to get inside the noise.This also stops mind wandering. Only slight vibrations. Tried to push myself up and finally I'm out raising slowly. this was the chance to shoot up quickly but I couldn't go fast. I rose slower than I wanted and then started to travel sideways. Now I know we don't have eyes in astral body but I felt my physical eyes were open ( they weren't) but I tried to close them. I had vision regardless but it was dark.
Travelling backwards in darkness but dark shapes around me. I didn't feel frightened and I didn't expect any ugly faced spiky haired balls to come flying to me this time. This did not feel like a test,just I was there.
The best way I can describe it is if I was deep down at the bottom of the ocean and floating backwards in a big deserted ship that had sunk.It was like metal framework all along the right of me. I'm not suggesting it was a ship just that that's the best way of describing it.
Just at point of wakening behind closed eyelids thought I could see like sketching of a face twirling round and moving .very fine sketching like the man and woman falling from the sky but this was just black sketching.
Opened eyes,awake. 5-45am.
Tried again and slowly rose up again with slight astral noise but didn't get anywhere.

[susan]

This morning I woke up to a wonderful Harry Potter type dream.
Have had all day to think about this as I couldn't get it out of my mind , it was so entertaining.
Woke up 4am to go to bathroom so settled down to some NEWS. I must have gone to sleep and woke up to the dream.

I'm in a really crowded locker room and people are pushing past me. I don't like it,I'm getting squashed.This is a school but it's new to me. People were getting their coats to leave and I tell a woman that I don't like it here. Two other people come up to me because of what I had said. They say I had better not tell the teacher.I walk along a corridor and now the hallway is square and I have a choose of doors to go through. I choose a door and a woman is in her room with a coffee table full of party like foods.She tells me her room has been taken over for a party.
We both go to another part of the room where some friends are.As we talk around the table with party food on it I look forward and notice that the wall to the room that we are facing is all made of glass.

THIS IS WHEN THE FUN STARTED.
I can see water outside moving fast all around.We are sitting in the middle of a flowing river.I feel amazed and get up to have a look at the scene when I can see below tops of buildings very far below and I thought they were under water when it dawned on me that they were at the edge of the water and untouched.It was us.Our room was sitting on the top of a massive waterfall.We were right plonk in the middle on the edge as the water goes over falling thousands of feet to the ground.This wasn't frightening ,it was awesome to witness. I looked up at the roof to see the roof was a cave. We were sitting in a cave.
Now the show started.
Flying high in the sky men dressed a bit like jokers all flying towards us.we are all standing at the glass watching the show.The men approach high up above us and line up, facing us and point what looks like guns at us. I'm the only one who ducks but then realise nothing can harm us here so I stand up and face them and we all get shot with coloured paint.This was fun.
The next show was awesome to watch.
Two massive BLUE figures approach. They fill up the sky. One is a man ,the other is a woman.he is behind the woman holding her on the waist.They fly right up in front of us and gently kiss and fly away. All of us loved that. This was a show we were all watching. This was the party. We fly down to the bottom where all the others are and a flying trailer of some kind has ribbons trailing behind and shouts to the children " come and catch me . " The children run and try to catch the end of a ribbon and they are taken for a ride.
They loved it. this was such fun I wondered why we didn't have something like that where I was.

Now this was all I can remember.
I know Richard and Tutor have both suggested that I the EYE might have just been the beginning so my dream may have started out with me just making up the first part ,but the rest I wonder if I did wander into the astral with help because I don't think I could have made something like that up. It was fun and awesome.
Who would have plonked a cave in the middle of a strong current bang on the edge of a waterfall thousands of feet high. ??

[Tutor]

who made you, that you would make up? true enough, we are given to imagine, yet we are given to the unimaginable first. i mean, i could never have imagined my life as it has been for these 53 years, yet within those years i've imagined plenty that i would surely have changed along the way. sometimes life is like having stepped in dog poop, and the rest is about cleaning that dog poop off your shoes. i'd always felt blessed just to have a pair of shoes. now, i've shoes to give away.

old greek saying: "a shoeless person cannot give away shoes"

what you got here in your baby steppin thread is shoes. be blessed

Eldorado Overture: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YIJbxtlz0U

[susan]

Dream.
Just a short recall of dream. Couldn't be bothered to do energy work this am but it's an interesting change in direction to my reading.
Dream pt I was with a good friend ( maybe even part of the show from yesterday)
We came upon a book stall and she found a small book by Satya Sai Baba. It was a miniature book the shape of a foot.she wanted me to have it and was delighted when she found another . We could both have the book .we walked away but hadn't paid for it . Felt I was stealing it so went back to pay for it. Found it was more than I had so walked away with it.

That's all but it had me thinking that the books I started reading years ago were of this type-- how to be the best --- how to be thoughtful, considerate. The way we should live.
Then as experiences started my reading went to how to --raise energy---recall dreams--- project----get around in the astral. Everything I was reading was focused on how to get to astral and further.
All the wonderful authors. Robert Bruce , Kurt Leyland, William Bullman, Bruce Moen, Jurgen Ziewe.
( all male ????. )
Just a thought to put out to others as well as myself.
I don't just need to read about " how to " but " what we can do here and what to do here to raise our vibration. It isn't just about how to experience astral.
Just ,my own non private thought.

[susan]

Dream.
This was recalled as a dream and has no comparison to other experiences .
Thinking about it I suppose it relates to what was on my mind , however there are a couple of parts of the dream that stood out.Sorry to say pregnancy and eggs are back but I really don't want to get hung up on eggs and pregnancy again but when dreaming how do I stop this?

Woke up to remembering looking into the eyes of a baby and it had sharp piercing snake eyes.
Visited bathroom,settled down. Did a little NEWS and visualisation then must have gone to sleep.
I remember I'm pregnant andwith a friend and she is heavily pregnant. I have a small bump showing,not as far on as she is and she says it's too early for me to visit the doctor just yet.
I,m in a corridor with doors around.don't know which door to take when someone opens a door from the other side and asks if I'm coming in the lift. I get in and the lift plummets down so fast I am aware in my dream that I can feel this in my body. I wasn't frightened as the lift was working as it should.As it slowly comes to a halt I feel my body raising as if I would want it to do in real life if it really happened to prevent any injury.
The door opens but I'm now getting out of a train on a platform.All the doors to the train are open but I'm the only one on the platform and getting out of the train.
( what stood out here was how lovely the train was. It was colourful,red and white.Almost like plastic and very rounded. No square corners.It was smooth and almost child like. The floor was white,the walls were white.everything so bright and clean)
My friend is now behind me and two people are waiting for us down the steps leading outside.
I am given a bag of eggs.I empty them out on the floor and they are lovely. Six soft pastel coloured round eggs.They almost look like gobstoppers.I admit to my friend that when I picked them I ate a couple.( I know this doesn't make sense but I think I can relate to this) One of the men says " we shouldn't have heard that but doesn't matter .we've all done it before" .
We all walk out of the station.
Wake up.

No flying in dream but when I was experiencing the plummeting down in the lift it has me wondering if this was me re- entering body , but the dream continued after this?
Prior to entering the lift everything in my dream was dark and hazy,but from leaving the lift the colours were lovely and bright.I was perceiving differently. Even the eggs were beautiful.
Note--- I think I can relate to the comment from the man about shouldn't have heard this but we have all done it.
In physical---- Alone in a room the other day where there were some things belonging to a care home where the hairdresser works.A big container of those small metal hair grips they use. I had wanted to try a couple and wondered for a second about taking two. I didn't. Now in the shops they are so so cheap to buy and I know they wouldn't have missed two.The problem is that that would have been stealing.No matter how cheap to buy,someone had earned money to pay for those items and I would have to live with the knowledge that I had taken something that belonged to someone else. ( flip they would have probably just told me to take them if I had asked)
I think this was a light hearted way of reminding me that it would have been wrong but no big deal if I had. No one can be an angel here.

[susan]

This is not a metaphysical topic as such but using his space to air my daily concerns.
Went to a care home,saw my usual lady ,in her 90 at least. Wonderful, saw that twinkle in her eye and she wanted to feel my hands that she said were cold. At the end she felt them and said they had warmed up. Connection was in that twinkle in the eye. If you look deeply anyone could see it regardless if the patient suffers from dementia or are just suffering from old age and intolerance to touch.
Got a cuddle and went down stairs.
A new lady of my age is newly appointed and deals with me.
She is stressed,miserable, unwelcoming and abrupt.
Her face told a story and the vibes I was getting from her was " not welcome , I don't have time to deal with you, I have more important things to deal with. This job is too much for me. .....
I wanted to go out and buy her some flowers that would put a smile on her face and tell her to lighten up and connect with the beautiful people she is surrounded with. .
I didn't , could you imagine me a woman going in with flowers for another woman????
Stressful jobs I am saying will prevent anyone from connecting to anyone.
GET OUT!!!!!!

[Tutor]

could you imagine me a woman going in with flowers for another woman????

Yes

friend of mine died this year, owned and ran a florist. we keep an open account there for various reasons. last year another friend's Mother passed away, no way he could afford the floral arrangements, so we secretly made it happen. still secret to this day. anyway, flowers were glorious at the funeral, all was well for the grieveing family. after the evening service we're all out in the parking lot (smokers) and my departed florist friend walks up, we hug, and we give the slightest kiss on one another's cheek. well, you'd have thought the earth moved, everyone got silent, even my friend whose Mama lay in the funeral home. did i care? nah

coupla weeks later, my friend whose mama passed and I were way up in a backwoods farm doing the farm chores for a couple who are mutual friends gone to florida for a week. my friend begins to ask me about scriptures in the bible about homosexuality, where they are at, what do they actually say, so i listen to all that with a grin, because i figure he must imagine that i am gay, which if i were, so what. but i aint, could be i reckon if like John Stamos came a courtin or sumptin.

anyhoo, i did straiten him out on the scriptural content vs common literal-mis-translation. then i opened my arms for a hug, he did too, we hugged and i planted the slightest kiss on his cheek. why, he didnt seem the least taken aback. since then we always hug and such when greeting, seeing one another during each week, saw him yesterday as a matter of fact.

ya see, this is exempliary of what we've lost in our everyday world, the ability to be intimate without it being blown the hell out of proportion by ignorance or fear of what other's might imagine. all the men in my life who know me, greet me in kind, strait men, gay men; even women that i know, strait or lesbian. we be friends, brothers and sisters. human fellowship, mi familia, dont need a building to do it in, we got the whole ding dang sky to upunder be that.

last week a friend and i had us a little tift, and he got all puffer fish on me, standing over me with his arms/hands flailing about, me sitting on a saw horse. why I just reached out my hands into his, my fingers into his, stood up, and said brother love, aint no need for for all this disagreement, because imma gonna love ya beyond this. he quitened down and we discussed the matter to it's good end. yesterday, his wife came around where we were doing our horsey thang, i am a head taller than she, she comes up arms out, i grab her up with my arms and plant a kiss on the top of her head. she said to me, "ya know you are my brother, right?" i said, yep.

most of us have waited our whole lives to be this freely expressive, having worked our ways through a rough world of ignorance and fear. we're old enough now i reckon to do what we feel to be doing right by one another. the world may never grow up, but that aint got nuthin to do with growed arse folks who by now ought to know better. let the world pass by, but let us be always and in all ways fellowshipping our gathered way without a care. the earth is our tabernacle, and apparently the earth dont care what color we are, what religion we believe in, what our sexual identities are...etc. we all be human yearning to be humanly treated.

i cant bear the inane thought that while we are to continue to treat one another like crap, we profess to be waiting for a "god" bring down love and deliver us from our ignorances, fears and hatreds. WHAT!?

if such a "god" does show up, imma be asking where the hell ya been? why, such a "god" would reply, "I been locked up within y'all, waiting for individual release throughout". i'd say, "i understand, had ya locked up within my self for the better part of my life....welcome".

release intimacy....

[susan]

Yes TIM, I do agree. More showing of affection instantly breaks down barriers. My husband was brought up in another country and culture to me and at the beginning I was amused to see him and everyone else welcome people with a kiss.Even if you had already met someone that day and bumped into them again they welcomed you with a kiss on both cheeks regardless of sex.
On holiday in Cuba hubby and I both commented how nice it was to witness the staff coming into work and their bosses would welcome them with a kiss.
Anyway, just a little thought back to the post on 9 th September about the Harry Potter type dream( OBE?)
Have just read Leyla's thread ( OBE Fourm) where the Blue coloured dancing Shiva is mentioned and I think she mentioned that she is frequently seen by different people.
Now this figure that I saw was all blue,large and as she flew up in front of us with the blue man behind her they swayed from side to side doing a little dance before they kissed as I remember the dress swaying side to side.I felt at the time that this was a special appearance for the party.( just didn't bother to write that bit ,wish I had)
I wonder if this was her?
I have never even thought of any spirit of any kind being blue in colour which is why This was a complete surprise .
Never even heard of "the dancing Shiva" .
Back to dream this morning.

Not nice and colourful like the last and death is the topic.
Just before opening my eyes I see a side profile of a man in a black suite with his arm down to his side and he was holding a white chrysanthemum. This was a sharp picture not shadowy.
recalled bits of dream and I see a coffin coming out of a house into a hearse.( I recognise the house as an elderly lady that I know in physical)
Another bit where a young girl is combing her hair in the mirror and someone is waiting in an open doorway for her. A dead body is lying on the ground behind her.In the dream I'm watching this and the girl hasn't noticed the body. She gets up and sees it saying "well that will have to go before I can get out of here" and she gets it by the arm and drags it along the floor to get it out of the way so she can leave.
Another bit where I'm in the doctors and telling the nurse symptoms. The doctor is behind muffling his words. I didn't understand what he said. He is now sitting in front of me telling me it sounds by the symptoms that it is time now to see the doctor.

Now in physical I am perfectly healthy. Had a scare, got sorted no big deal.PERFECTLY Healthy.
Maybe the lady I know in physical is going to die??
This dead body on the ground that needed to be moved because it was in the way.
1) could this be something I have to kill off before I can progress any further?( something I'm doing or thinking?)
Or
2) pregnancy is back, discarding the old and nurturing the new?
3) possible that the dream part was just a load of mish mash from previous events or thoughts but,the image was so sharp that I got at the point of wakening of the man in the black suit.
Bring back Harry Potter.

[susan]

Co-incidence?
Couple of days ago decided to download a Sri Sathya Sai Baba book just to put a slight change to the books currently reading .Also because I'm getting through Bruce Moen really quickly. This is called The Golden Age. The fourth dimension that will change the world, by Amla Chaudhuri MD.
Have just started reading the Acknowledgements where she mentions the 'Dancing Shiva in the Ecological Age'
( from experiencing a blue lady this is twice today I have read about this entity. On the other hand it could be like once you buy a car you start seeing just how common they are.

[Tutor]

a true fact, when women group together, eventually their mentrual cycles will rythmically merge. co-incidence? time is time, rythym rolls in and rolls out like the tide.

same happens when you get folks spiritually gathered, rythym receives what time had individuated apart from one another.

certainly all the women in the group are individuals, yet the grouping is of rythym's [dancing blue woman] nature given to.

here's some cool artwork that depicts femininity..as well..on the page's left column are other links to videos of interest.

Three Dimensional Femininity: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7UKQT0TGxQ

EVE

there is earth, and there is world. there is rythym, and there is time. there is human nature, and there is individuated uniqueness. there is that which we are all within, and there is that which is within us all.

[susan]

Beautiful to watch TIM.

OBE.
Usual restless night. Did little NEWS but not much at all when decided to settle down. Got to that lovely warm relaxed cozy state when the noise started.It wasn't loud but tried to concentrate on it when I felt myself slowly raise up and go slightly to the left. Decided to look closely into the eyelids when I saw lines swirling around like clouds when someone/ something pulled my hair at the back.
My thoughts went to "was this hubby, maybe his physical hand,maybe his astral hand, or did someone want my attention? "
This spoilt it and I was back in body.
A little disappointed that it had ended so quickly I checked if his hand was near my hair and it was firmly tucked down.
Seemed about 20/30 mins later when I felt myself drifting off. I was aware I was on the edge of sleep but I didn't feel any movement or hear any noise so I looked closely into eyelids/ brow. Saw fine drawings moving around.This time they took the shape of faces just twirling around,then I saw an eye. this wasn't like previously mentioned. This was just like a drawing of one.

Next bit I feel I'm standing in a room in front of a square table. A shadowy figure comes in and I seem to know its a woman.
She brings in a baby Moses whicker basket.( in physical I was given one by my work mates years ago when I left to have my first
baby) she puts it on the table in front of me and it is full to the brim of small square photographs and messages .( I just knew).
She wanted me to look at them and to read the messages. I was thinking that this cann't be for me because it was for someone else so I shouldn't be given it.
At the same time I got the feeling this was meant for a young crippled boy who had to be carried around everywhere.I could see his bent legs.I could feel such love that was being sent in these messages and I could feel the emotion of these people loosing this person. He had to leave them.
I thought I would just take a few out to read when the lady moved the basket and showed me the side of it. Messages were stuck to the side of it.I couldn't clearly see them clearly but knew they were loving messages when she puts a book in front of me.
This front cover had a soft pastel colours and seemed to look like an ocean with a large pointed rock standing up in the middle.Just as a lighthouse would stand out all alone in the middle of water.
The front cover was telling me a story.I just had to look at it and it was talking to me but no words were heard. Once again that this boy was loved so very much but he had to leave and he was missed so very much. I could FEEL the emotions of these people.
The book was now prompting me to open the book to the first page where the story would continue.
I was aware of putting my astral arm in front of me to turn the page and couldn't see any arm or hand .I was aware of this and thinking at the time. Although I couldn't see my hand I could feel the page as I turned it but I couldn't read anything on the page.
The book was telling me that the story was just beginning but I also knew I was loosing focus.
I lost focus and knew I wasn't going to be able to maintain it then lost completely so focused on eyelids and saw drawings of faces just swirling around. Opened eyes,awake.
FLIP...BLEEP....FLIP....FLIP........
Just at the best bit and I loose it.
( This has happened before when I was in the room talking with someone during the OBE when I perceived a space station.)

Went back to sleep and was dreaming that I was sleeping when my mobile phone went off( it didn't, checked calls) This part of the dream woke me up.Looked at my watch...House phone went off.

Now the parts to this that stand out were the strong feelings of love and emotions of missing someone, but these emotions were from many people.I wasn't just thinking this but was feeling this.
Also how the book when just looking at it it was conveying messages to me.
It was telling me the story was inside and to turn the page.

[susan]

Yesterday morning woke up with a really heavy re- entry back into body.woke me up straight away as if I landed with a thud.
Recalled end of dream immediately.
I'm with someone high in the air in an aeroplane.Something starts to attach itself to the back end of the plane . This will allow a new section to the plane that we can go into. Big heavy vault like doors come down to lock it and give access.
Just then I feel the plane has tilted upside down and I can feel the disorientation as if I had been tipped over.I,m looking up at stars then feel what was like a thud and wake up.

[susan]

Yesterday morning shortly after wakening up from the episode posted above tried to get to sleep . I decided not to raise energy this time but to just concentrate on brow. Something was flickering and I felt my hubby turn over in bed. I knew something was coming and the next surprised me. Behind closed eyelids I could see a black and white ( movie) of a man and a woman and a young toddler moving ,playing with the toddler in bed .I looked closely and realised it was me when I was younger and it was my husband when he was younger. He looked exactly as he did in his mid 20s and me as I did at that time. I recognised my first son as a toddler as he was beautiful with thick dark wavy hair.
I could now hear a tune singing. Cann't remember the singer but it was " You make me feel so good" .This verse was repeated about 3 times then it all disappeared and stopped. Turned round and hubby fast asleep.
( I wonder if we communicate to each other in our sleep ? ( although I wasn't asleep) )

[susan]

I feel I'm past the point of no return.
The more I search and ask , the more incredible the events which go past the belief system of most .
I was telling a friend of my previous encounter in a cave over a water fall and as I was speaking I was feeling more and more stupid.This sounds crazy but then I looked down at her place mats.they were very mystical with a woman flying while on top of a fish.
It had me thinking that there are so many mystical drawings, on cards,religious places, mystical web sites to name a few but why does it seem so incredible to say " I've Experienced something mystical? "

This last experience still has me going over and over the events.I have to write it down before I can think of doing anything grounding,such as a pile of ironing waiting for me.
Last night I had no exit symptoms so will record as a dream, but I know it wasn't just my imagination.
In and out of sleep,husband going to bathroom,me going to bathroom, noise outside. Each time I wake up I remember the dream and as it was enfolding I'm asking questions before going back to sleep. Will record just as one long continuous dream.

I'm in black space with someone. In the distance I can see what I would just call a hub ( container,room,) We both enter it.I know that outside in space there is no oxygen so I ask what happens if the door to this place opens? He's talking on a mobile phone.
I ask if ( whilst awake) my guide is with me. I got a flash of a folded white handkerchief. I'ts unfolding and it's black on the other side.
( had a person before that was black on one side and white on the other posted somewhere else)
I'm in a craft of some kind sitting looking out of the window.i seem to be leaning forward as if resting my head on a table sleeping but KNOW that I am looking out and can see clearly.
THIS IS THE BEAUTIFUL BIT.
In a distance the most beautiful sparkling stars.I tell the person next to me to look. This was an awesome sight as they were so silvery and sparkling and an area in the distance seemed to have a collection together forming a group. Inside the group were more stars closer together and they looked as if they formed a shape. Almost like the shape of a fish,bit I remember thinking that I couldn't make it out if it was a fish or not.
NEXT BEAUTIFUL BIT.
I'm told I'm on a journey to meet God.
Then right in front of the window, out in black space, a GIANT SPARKLING HEAD WITH A MAN'S FACE. This stayed just for a second but it was made of stars.

The plane? lands.
The last bit has me driving in a car with the man next to me. I pull up.He asks for my car keys. I give them to him and he gets out with them and walks away round the corner.
I then see the front of a mobile phone which has a download in progress which is three quarter the way through.
Woke up for the last time and had overslept.
Now I'm not going to put my own interpretation to this because I didn't have exit symptoms,but then I know you don't need to have them for the experience to be real.
I remind myself of the beauty of seeing the golden threaded universe. This last experience has left the same feeling of witnessing the same beauty,and as I previously wrote,Jurgen Ziewe wrote of viewing the same universe whilst flying around in space.

Right,done it, now off to do the ironing.

[susan]

Woke up yesterday morning trying to get back to sleep.wondered if I should do some energy work when a water melon flashed in view, then an orange. I knew this was to do with visualisation because it really is effective.
Wondering if this was just me I sent out a thought asking if this was someone in spirit who knows me when I got the thought God. Now I knew this was just a joke because there usually is humour so I sent out a thought that I knew it wasn't and immediately I see 2 pieces of wood, different shapes and they are slotted in together to make one whole piece, then immediately as if right in front of me I see flashed up an outline of a face ,white transparent with no depth as if so close ,then a symbol of a bright white flame.
I'm so disappointed with myself because once again I was startled by this and lost concentration. I've been asking for any spirit to show themselves and I've flipped out again.
This was the same kind of outlined head that I saw during an OBE when I saw it in the mirror next to me .
I do not for one second believe that this was an earth bound spirit being mischievous as The two pieces of wood were viewed immediately before the face and the flame immediately after.
I feel the two pieces of wood could mean
two different parts made into one??..( flip, big crack sound in ceiling when wrote that)
Two separate spirits belonging to the same???
I'm giving up now,running out of ideas.

[susan]

Woke up this morning feeling so sad,as if I could cry,and Elvis Presley singing a song .His voice was as you would expect very deep and emotional and he was singing about " Going Home". I loved the tune, it was catchy and kept singing it over in my mind.I've forgotten it now but have just googled Elvis to find he did bring a record out about " Going Home" and I've been trying to click on a site to listen to see if it's the same tune but cann't get any site to play the tune.
now the sadness didn't last long but I immediately recalled a dream where I was lying in the back of a car and I was dead but I was awake and knew I was going home.
I don't see this as anything frightening to dream as I may have made this into a dream after picking up the music so the only interesting point for me to note is the sadness felt and a song I didn't even know Elvis made.

Other morning had two dreams.I think they were connected ,but the change in how I was viewing the environment was interesting.
First one was black and white and vague.
I was watching someone who was down a large ditch that had been neatly dug.This person was on their knees with a little brush.I could see something metal like a ring for opening something when in the dream I felt this was an excavation site and she was looking for old remnants.
A break in the dream now to go to bathroom . Just did a little fruit cutting exercise then went back to sleep.
This next dream was beautiful bold colours just as I can see now in physical.
I see this woman with a deep red cloak on sneaking along a corridor. The building was like an old church or castle. She was trying not to be seen by someone. I felt she was looking to retrieve ( not steal) something that did not belong to this place.
Someone is walking in the opposite direction and he has a red outfit on to the ground and it looks like someone belonging to a church.
She gets what she wants and risks walking across the corridor to get to the opposite side to get out but this is the funny bit.
She turns around to face me and smiles .I could see her face and it was as if she wanted me to see her.she leaves just as the man hears something and gets suspicious.He turns and heads in her direction but goes out through a door where I now see the edging to a wall that they would do with castles and a massive wolf standing on top with it's teeth showing ready to attack. the colouring of everything was so clear compared to the first part. I knew this meant that the girl was safe.
So I've had a mixture of black and white and hazy, and bold and colourful in one nights sleep.

[susan]

Have just heard the Elvis song . DEFINATELY ! Not the beautiful tune I heard sounding like Elvis singing.
As I always say ...hey ho go with the flow..

[susan]

Spent today reading Kurt Leland's website where he talks of recognising different types of dream simulations. I can recognise by his description experiences I've recorded here that I think were.

Eg. OBE finding myself in a dark room with three characters and a television where I was ignored so I punched one in the leg.
Recognising some of these as simulations makes perfect sense now.
Also when having OBE and just waiting to see where I am going.
Eg. Raising up and floating outside my dining room doors to the cherry tree in the garden and feeling the branches scratch me and smelling the sweetest of smell from the grass.
It is easy to think we are on our own just because we might not see anyone so becoming lucid in a dream and trying to use that as an opportunity to explore or go somewhere specific Sometimes may spoil the lesson.

[susan]

This is the first time I have dreamt of having an OBE. ( or think I've dreamt) but there was something during this that stood out as one of those memorable experiences that leave a picture in your mind that I cann't forget.
Background to event.
Had lovely relaxing day off with hubby. Looking forward to holiday coming up.
Went to bed in relaxed calm state of mind.
My thoughts on the spirit world are always close by , so before going to sleep had been wondering what this was all about. I cannot dismiss the reality of some of it (due to experiences that have proved true)some have not been written.
So KNOWING something / one/ spirits/people/ are with me my thoughts went to wondering where it all started and if we have had numerous lives, when did it start? Leyla posted a beautiful experience. I just wanted more experience of the before and the future, ( when my physical body leaves here what I will experience. )

Here goes,
Dreamt I was talking to 3 friends about Spirit world.I now feel vibrations in body quite heavy and my thought went out that I could feel this in my physical body so this must be a real OBE in progress. In the dream I'm thinking " is this me wakening up in the dream?" I could now feel my feet raising up leaving my body and now my body.
I'm now lying down looking up at the sky .
THIS is the bit.
I look up at the sky and it is muddy dark brown and grey.
As high up as the stars I can see movement. the muddy colours have brighter colours coming through and moving. They take shape and they are giant bird like creatures flying as high as an aeroplane would fly.there was a lovely colour coming through that was like a turquoise with blue and yellow. They filled the sky. Many of them .Fantastic to watch ( awesome, a word I dont use in physical)
I now look in the distance and can see a group of giant elephants on a raised area of land but they are unsettled and one shoves another off a cliff. This is survival, aggressive. I remember dreaming this isn't nice ,this is like pre- historic times.

Next part of dream I'm watching a woman on a small stage addressing a small audience and she is saying " I hope you don't mind the humorous start but Which do you believe"?
I'm now driving fast in a car by myself when people are spread out on the road. Alive and some on the edge, this was a protest , I couldn't go any further, they had blocked the road. ( ACCESS DENIED.?).
This next bit was hazy but someone takes me and leads me onto a dance floor to dance. I sense I'm in my cozy casual clothes that in reality I was wearing in physical that day .
As we dance I see an arm appear in front of me . I can now hear choir music singing in the background. The hand places a small round piece of something on the mouth of the person I was dancing with ( in the dream I wasn't showing who he was.)
( on reflection this was like a communion? I think they place bread in the mouth??? I'm not catholic but this felt like a spiritual ritual.
Singing stops and I see the stub of the end of a lighted cigar. ( male?)
I now see a young man with red hair ( ooooh quelle suprise) ( forget please the spelling) and once again he looks directly at me.
This was as physical, not magical viewing.
The last bit had me viewing a door sideways that was opening and out comes the colour fleece my husband wears.
I woke up . I've done it again!! If this was something belonging to my husband I should not be frightened.
I'm asking for spirit to get close and I'm still wakening up at the point I feel if I had continued I may have seen something.

No interpretation put on this because I think it's self explanatory that either Susan's failing to disconnect from imagination or coming through from spirit world with a little dreaming added.
The most vivid part of this was viewing in the sky and the elephants

[susan]

Just want to record here a few points for my own benefit about recent types of experiences recalled.
1) Doors
2) Faces.
3) Friends.
4) Escort.

Doors.------ 12th August. Popped head round corner and strangers came in. ( felt they were family members)
9th September. Chose door to go through and had wonderful Harry Potter type flying dream with the flying giant Blue
Lady and Blue Man.
12th September. Someone opens a door and invites me in and it turns into a lift but then environment changes to
Bold colours and railway station.
15th September. Someone standing at an open doorway waiting to take a young girl somewhere .
3rd October. Door opens, someone is coming through with the same colour fleece that hubby has.

Faces.......... Faces are appearing a lot . All different.They are recalled mainly as dreams but at the end the person
will turn round and look directly at me.These type look as we do in physical and none of these
resemble anyone that I know.
Then there is the white transparent face seen during an OBE in my bedroom. The white outline of a face
that flashed up,transparent again. Then the giant sparkling head with a mans face.

Friends.......... Often I'm with friends ( don't know who they are)

My escort....... Recorded many times of having someone with me .( this may not always be the same person but
it's as if I'm not allowed to have memory of this person.


So doors are well documented as being a portal to the other side.I hope this is the case here.

Faces change,sometimes with my hair colouring but mainly not.I don't know what to think of these.However the transparent outline of a head( spirit/ person) I trust as I don't think there is any pretence there.

Friends are around but I don't know if they are friends. I just feel they are supposed to be friends. Wouldn't remember any of them.
Have read other authors having these. I'm sure it's quite common.

Escort. This is well documented from others about knowing someone is with them but no memory of features or who.
I just hope that one day I can record here a conversation with my escort when OBEing.

[susan]

OBE.
Life can,t get any crazier.
Woke up from a dream about walking in very large garden,almost size of a football pitch.Felt that this was mine now and new to me and it reminded me of my mothers place, and there were strangers around ( not around me ) Noticed there was sand under the grass in areas.
Woke up and closed bedroom window, settled down again.5.30. Decided to do the brushing technique this time as it would be nice and relaxing and would see how long I could keep it up for. After maybe 20 mins I could hear talking. This sounded like a lot of people in a room on both sides of me. Knew just to ignore this but could feel feet wobbling and then raising. Was thinking that this has happened quite quickly and when it does There may be something I'm going to be shown so just to go with it.
Feet are out,legs out now whole body out raising up and then to the right slowly.
I'm still on my back with only 180vision but felt as if I was viewing with half closed eyelids.Wasn't sure what to do with vision so decided to look down at my legs. Could see them, they were long,transparent.like hologram and I could see them swaying with what looked like the hem of a nightdress swaying as well. Relieved to see I had something on because I would want that but in physical didn't have this on.
The area I was flying in was a light grey but I was going slowly and I could still hear these same voices chatting.


Next everything changed and I'm sitting in I think a plane looking out of a small round window. Someone was opposite me. As I look out this was the best bit.
All I could see that got closer and closer was a very old worn paper map.It was yellow/brown as old paper gets and had big thick bold lines drawn on it mapping out territory like countries or towns with big bold print on each area ( names) the writing was I think the English alphabet but I couldn't quite see what each said.

Once again like my dessert map experience I'm thinking. " This is great what a brilliant idea showing me where I am going. Excellent.
I could still hear these voices. This was strange to still be hearing the same voices.
Next I'm immediately in a different environment and am in a dark environment almost like a black basement with a cave like look to it.I'm looking straight ahead at 3 entrances leading into where I was. The voices got louder then they came in ...........
4-5 men, smaller than average wearing suites as if working talking to each other BUT their heads were HORSES HEADS.!!
As I'm looking in disbelief I notice that one has red marking down the front that looked like paint as if the head had been painted.
Then it finished and opened my eyes.
I said it couldn't get any crazier.
How I didn't laugh out loud in bed I don't know. This wasn't meant to frighten me. If I had been frightened then maybe I could understand why I interpreted what I saw as something like that but I wasn't frightened.
Went back to sleep after a while and woke up to " whatever you record don't forget these are your friends"
I felt on wakening really happy as if I had had a really long conversation with myself ( ? Higher self)
So to sum up everything was going fine until the horses heads. can think of no logical reason for me to be shown horses heads .
If anything, the voices stayed with me from going into trance, during the journey and got louder as the people were shown.
Could this have been a simulation with no real important information for me but maybe practicing with help my clairaudience ( hearing ) As I've said before this has gone past the point of no return.

[susan]

Just a reminder for journal in connection to horses heads.
Page 8 , 29th May in journal, when feeling a bit deserted people sat with me to the left but a girl sat to the right of me looking directly at me , smiling, and I noted that she was smiling at me but looked strange as she slightly resembled a horse.
This was 4 months ago.couldn't work out why she looked like that. Still can n't .

There has to be a connection here,therefore I think I was meant to perceive as I did. Don't think fear had anything to do with it.
Maybe time will tell.

[susan]

Have googled horses and mysticism just trying to find some kind of meaning and was drawn to my first site to look at.

Remembering that friends are around a lot .
Also page 8 as noted above I was feeling a bit deserted and a group of people came to me
Also the last , where after the experience, I picked up " whatever you record don't forget these are your friends.

The page with Aristotle ( Greek philosopher) had 2 different sized and coloured horses.
His quote....
" WHAT IS A FRIEND? A SINGLE SOUL DWELLING IN TWO BODIES"

Aristotle has some seriously fab quotes for anyone who wants some deep thinking.

[Tutor]

A horse is on the outside [spirit] like a man is on the inside [spirit]. Horses without fail reflect the Human, or what within the human is. Crazy Horse was a mystic, but the name Crazy Horse was given to him by his enemies, whom seeing him untouchable on horseback were dismayed and frightened of him. Both he and horse were somehow protected.

as far as aristotle goes, he is pointing out that a horse does not do well when alone. common practice is to place a small pony, or a burro, with a horse. together they are a joy to watch as they happily interact. but he speaks from the sense of a man owning a horse that he is not with unless he wishes to visit the horse. Unlike horse cultures, whom at early ages pair child with colt to become friends, always together. Like the Souix called the horse "Big Dog". This can also be seen in afganistan, or mongolia, and in the bedouin. these horse cultures bind with the horse because their survival is interdependent as horse to man and man to horse.

horses as beasts of burden, breeding stock, work animals...is a rather late outworking in mankind's history, perhaps very western civilization as formation. though horses as prized bloodlines go all the way back in man's coexistence with horses, but this is more at the horse cultures. Arabs hold the horse most high as spirited partners, their Arabians are the most durable horses on the planet.

though, the common Arabian horse or bred mix we find outside the Arab culture are misunderstood horses, dismembered from their original purposes. they thereby command a different approach when training, but sadly most folks deal with all horses the same, with human brute force.

the return of Natural Horsemanship techniques is gaining popularity in western culture, this where each horse as an individual is through an individual human working toward equal partnering, not through a human will overpowering, but rather allowing the horses's natural capability to reflect the human...be the language that brings about that partnering. that right there is what horse cultures have done for ages. from this returning western angle, in that humans are so far removed from natural, this practice is a very healing outcome through the partnering with a horse. this is why equine therapy is being utilized more and more with children, young adults, and even adults who have handicaps/disabilitys. however, it ~behooves~ anyone to enter into such a healing modality with a horse.

something mystical happens, as it has always happened just so between one of man and his/her horse/s.

[eyeoneblack]

I get animals in dreams frequently. Recently it was gorillas, namely a raging male gorilla - run for your life! Most frequently they are lions. Anyway I try to think what an animal represents to me.

Like Tim noted, horses are a beast of burden (Tim knows horses well, intimately I s'pose). But I got to thinking 'what is a horse's nature'? and my thoughts turned to the Mustangs that are a bit of problem in the US Southwest. These are wild horses, not domesticated, so you get the natural beast of the animal observing them.

They will fight for their lives when there is any attempt to capture them. They cannot stand being fettered at all. The men with the horse heads were small, you say. Mustangs are smaller than your typical domesticated horse. Come to think, the horses of Mongolia are small as well.

That you have to 'remember' they are your friends speaks to a inclination to think otherwise. If the men had had bovine heads we could have a field day with that symbolism. Not the case.

(I always enjoy reading your journal).

[susan]

Thanks TIM and Richard.
How I wish I could GOOGLE the answer.
If you were to meet me you would know there was no wildness in me . if anything " I go with the flow " just to keep harmony within .
Each day when I meditate I try to think if I have said anything to offend anyone, what my actions today have resulted in .
If I have failed In some small way. But to be honest it's easy because I have a job which allows me to cuddle and talk to so many elderly people that have so much love to give out.
HOWEVER!!!!
I remind myself of the dead body on the floor that The girl had to get out of the way before she could go out and the person waiting at the door for her.
Something I'm doing or saying or thinking , that I maybe need to address.
My only vice I can think of is Wine. 7pm +.
Something I want to ask .
When I read about interpreting dreams it seems the authors have a higher level of ( intelligence?? Interpretation) than I do.
Therefore can we hope that any spirit communicating knows the level we are able to interpret . Therefore any dreams are adapted.
Imagine a beautiful loving physical person with mental disabilities . How would they interpret dreams if they were difficult to work out. There can be no bias in the spirit world.

[eyeoneblack]

These are wild horses, not domesticated, so you get the natural beast of the animal observing them.

Re-reading my post I was a little startled with that sentence. It can be read in two very different ways. My overt intention was that a human can observe the 'beast' of the wild horse. But then, it can be turned around so that 'the beast of the animal observing them' is the object of the sentence. The human is the beast.

Just an afterthought, Sue. (My ex and best friend is Susan).

[Tutor]

Your welcome Susan. :)

and right on Richard, great turn of words, yep, man is the beast.

Richard is right, a horse will hurt ya quick, Henry [the horse in my avatar that I am riding] ran right over me just this past Thursday, seems I had him cornered and he wasn't having it. I've been riding him since, well this coming Tuesday will be two weeks. They said he couldn't be ridden, guess they were wrong. They were going to put him down, they won't now, because they gave him to Me as mine, and with me he is free to be as he is. we've had a time with him, he was found starved in a stall, abandonesd by his owners who walked away from a farm foreclosure, and he's been badly physically abused. At every turn we have to de-sensitize him from something, be it a rasp that files his hooves, be it a water hose that washes him down, be it any fast movements on and around him. I've got him down to a startle, and I just gently tell him...it's ok Henry. I rode him today, walked up put a hackamore bridle [bitless] on him, blanket and saddle, just as easy as pie. so we're coming along faster than we had hoped. we haven't forced one step, he up and volunteered every step of the way, and we took what we got, no more no less. I am the only one who has ridden him, he likes me alright, even if i am a human/beast.

but Susan, they are such a spiritual creature. that Tuesday that Henry let me ride him, was because about an hour before that he was feeling some bad stuff, I was hugging him around the neck and feeling my bad stuff, and then I cried. I cried for him and for me, and suddenly he lay into me with his neck into my chest, my heart was pounding, and we together we sighed these big healing breaths, and for the first time he gave me his face, and I run my left hand down his face from his ears down to his nose, just so softly, he turned into me and i layed a big ole kiss right on him. after that moment, we was buds. My friend Bill went and got the bridle, I slipped it on so slowly, then we tryed a blanket, was good. then after a little bit I getly placed a saddle on him, uncinched for a while. then I slowly cinched it up, tightend about three times, then I stepped up in the stirrup, put my weight on it a few times. then I lay over the saddle for a while, and then finally i mounted him, sitting in the saddle, just sat there all relaxed, no pressure. then i slowly dismounted, led him out to the round pen. walked/led him around a bit, then got on him and rode. we was flying around that pen at full lope, and my god the anguish of sighing coming out of him [and tears were running down my face too], and then he smoothed out and i put him through his paces, different turning moves and what not. he knows a lot of stuff, somewhere in his early life someone taught him some good stuff. Henry is 7 years old. so we got a baseline so to speak, have to fill in the gaps.

that's enough, sorry to fill up your thread Susan. Just been a lot of healing these past few days. wanted to share with yuns. really though, my wife is Henry's best friend thus far, she feeds him lots of carrots. lol

But this is testament to the spirit of the horse, and i guess to a few humans who have thought enough of Henry to work with him.

Tim

[susan]

Firstly my thoughts go to the question I was wondering about level of interpretation from spirit to physical. We all interpret at different levels.
I see a hearse and coffin and feel this may be a good sign spiritually.
However my mother was very psychic through her lifetime.
When she was in her last month of life ( On chemo and all the drugs to beat Leukaemia) she was very upset because she had seen a vision of a hearse with a coffin inside and undertakers walking.
She KNEW this meant she was dying. This had her very upset as if a final confirmation that she was loosing the battle and she did.
This has me wondering if she was THINKING THIS DID SHE CREATE THE IMMAGE ? very likely.Even though it was TRUTH ( but she was a fighter and her bloods were showing a slight improvement and she was DEFINATLY fighting this ) .

But it was the truth!

[eyeoneblack]

A hearse and a coffin. Four men with horseheads. JFK in a hearse being led by four(?) horses down Penn Ave. Every death is a rebirth to be celebrated. Optimism, anticipation.
Seems this is going well, Susan!
At the end of the road is a gate through which we must pass. And pass we will, but only under the most strident condition - death. "Except that we be reborn" can the Kingdom be claimed.
Your chariot is ready, my queen.

(Sometimes I allow myself the freedom to 'stream' my thoughts and once done, will not undertake to defend them. The thoughts click or they don't. Meh.)

[susan]

Richard, stream your thoughts all you wish .

[susan]

Tim , Have just re- read your post here with time to digest content.Wow!
You must feel such connection.

OBE.
This has to be the most boring OBE ever, but a dream was recalled before it I want to record here.
But first the OBE.
Raised energy about 5 am, not really tired enough to sleep so spent quite a while stirring feet,up legs up through body,hands and up arms. Tried the bouncing ball through the head and down to the base chakra.decided I'd done enough so tried to silence mind.
Fell asleep. Woke up FLIP. No energy raising but tried again to settle when after about 10 minutes I feel my feet raising. Good it had worked. Body came out next but there were no vibrations nor astral noise.Vision was black with small white dots far away but to be honest I didn't think they were stars.( thinking this at the time) So decided to focus on one of the small white dots when it got bigger and bigger and just looked like a white rat or mouse and it's legs were moving as if running and I could feel myself moving in the same direction. I think this was RTZ because still on my back I'm heading for my bedroom wardrobes,go through them then as if putting the foot down on a car accelerator I just shot away really fast but felt I woke up immediately .

However the dream I had before doing any energy work.
Someone hands me a baby to hold . The baby is asleep but still has little booties and socks on.( could have been a doll)
I undo the shoe laces but between the sock and shoe is a small white snake.The person I'm with puts his finger forward to get the snake out and has his finger behind the head. Snake now out. The snake head is now turned and is facing the finger ( same size) and in the dream I'm thinking the snake will bite but, the finger now turns into a snake and the two heads are now just facing each other.
I wish I could remember but I can't remember if they had a separate body or if it was one snake with two heads.

[susan]

Okay this was just. Dream but I still want to record it because of a slight point to note.

Dream
Was walking along a long straight road by myself with no one insight ahead when I became aware of a large truck behind heading in my direction. Knew I needed to get to the side of the road so not to get in the way so moved to the edge but it wasn't the widest edge I could have taken. The truck pulls up at my side and tilts towards me. I don't feel physically threatened but I am powerless.
It wants me to enter .
This is the bit.
This was supposed to be a truck leaning on me wanting me to come inside but I visualised a smoky grey cloud instead of the truck and the feeling I got was as if you were to squash a full balloon between your two hands.
This had me entering by a door a little apprehensive when I noticed two people inside entering from a different door into the room and taking no notice of me. I felt at ease as this wasn't an abduction in a sense as there were other people around so I felt safe.
I'm sitting facing someone where he tells me that things are a bit quiet just now because there is a change of scenery. This felt like a movie set where they change the scenery. But he points out that there is someone behind me that is famous and I could ask him for his autograph.( I'm going through a phase at the moment of feeling I'm failing just at the point of making conversation with spirit whilst in the trance stage.) I decide I don't want to ( obstinate) and pull up my socks but they are too big on the feet for me they are men's socks
Now this seems just like a dream to do with what is on my mind but what stands out is the thought of a truck leaning towards you but how I perceived the truck as a bundle of energy and how it felt.

[eyeoneblack]

Just at first glance; you're walking the 'straight and narrow', but when an obstruction looms you are determined to stay your course as much as possible because to alter it makes you feel powerless.

Might be a Control thing?

More, later. I think. Maybe.

[susan]

Richard, if your perception is right then I can relate to this I think.

After experiencing the events not posted on the journal section but the Kundalini section started by DarkChylde .I didn't like it . I was wondering if I wasn't doing enough protection work.This was not my way of thinking or dreaming . Did it have anything to do with my male energy? If it did I didn't want it because I feared it would give me dreams that would lower my moral and make me feel dirty.
I felt that if there was some truth in these male / female energies merging this was turning me against my own male energy and I didn't want it.
However since reading Darkchylde's thread it has me feeling I shouldn't fight this but I could understand what he stated but not what was written.

[eyeoneblack]

Richard, if your perception is right then I can relate to this I think.

After experiencing the events not posted on the journal section but the Kundalini section started by DarkChylde .I didn't like it . I was wondering if I wasn't doing enough protection work.This was not my way of thinking or dreaming . Did it have anything to do with my male energy? If it did I didn't want it because I feared it would give me dreams that would lower my moral and make me feel dirty.
I felt that if there was some truth in these male / female energies merging this was turning me against my own male energy and I didn't want it.
However since reading Darkchylde's thread it has me feeling I shouldn't fight this but I could understand what he stated but not what was written.

Hmmm. That's even more cryptic to me than your dream ;-). But at least you're on the trail. Like someone said, "a dream is an answer to a question you haven't asked yet".

[eyeoneblack]

Did it have anything to do with my male energy? If it did I didn't want it because I feared it would give me dreams that would lower my moral and make me feel dirty. I must misunderstand that, being male, and if I didn't I don't want to go there.

But you say
I felt that if there was some truth in these male / female energies merging this was turning me against my own male energy and I didn't want it.


Yes, it's a little muddled but I see the deeper truth. As a musician/artist seems I have always been comfortable with my feminine side. Oh, I put on the bully-bully, but it's only cover. On deeper thought, I think I know what you're saying. :) The men's socks, too big, are salient to the interpretation. That you are in a communal gathering with even a celebrity points to a very positive aspect.

You are doing well. Maybe that's why I like your journal so much.

[susan]

Just back off holiday and will post a few at weekend but Richard, you are so correct with your interpretation about staying on course when an obstruction happens. Well done . Can see it now that it has happened. Dark cloud ,( dark energy) feeling threatened, needing to stay on track.

[eyeoneblack]

Alright then. Got lucky I guess. What's next? Can't wait......

[susan]

I feel I'm getting there and finally taking some control during an OBE. Although always aware of the OBE to record much detail , very often I have someone with me but when reading back I didn't seem to be deciding myself what to do some of the time and although it was always positive I wanted to take control .

But first a few weeks ago I felt very upset and challenged to keep my " inner peace"
This will always be important to me becauseI know that with resentment anger frustration , or
hurt .....this would lower my ability to connect to the beautiful spirit help I was getting.
To summarise.
When you have viewed a pair of spirit eyes looking at you filled with so much love but no words needed.

When you have felt the presence of a beautiful spirit behind you holding you by the shoulders talking into your ear with such love
and could feel this.

When you have been taken to a young boy that you have no recall of but remember telling him that I loved him with all my heart
and was perceived by me as a beautiful,angelic innocent young boy

When you have heard a beautiful loving voice telling you we are all the same sex but we have shared many lives together.
( sometimes the words were a little old fashioned, not used these days like Demi instead of Semi.)

With all of this beautiful connection going on a minor hiccup in physical needed to be worked on .
Physical life can be a challenge when unexpected, but by refraining from any retaliation and seeing this as a challenge to keep my focus clearly on inner peace I worked out how the event happened and saw clearly that I had been clumsy in my choice of words and
Offence was taken which resulted in a hurtful response.
If I come across in my posts as being " sweet ,too good to be true, immature for my age ( 58 with a BSc.) all I will say is that with the love I have experienced from the spirit world all I want to do is to stay in contact and to be worthy of their help and to be as pure in thought as I can which means working things out instead of anger or frustration and giving as much love as possible to the people around me.
I make no apology for this.
Enough said .
It worked and had 2 OBEs within 3 days left me feeling great.

[susan]

OBE
28/10/13

Hadn't been doing any energy work or meditation,was sleeping well when I was wondering when I would succeed with the next OBE when I thought " It isn't tomorrow yet" ( this was the previous day)
Next day woke up at 2.30 am watching a spinning disk in the brow area for a few seconds. ( had this before) Recalled dream about lovely black and white dog. It was adorable .
Decided to raise energy in feet only,just circular movements.( I think I do this because this is where I get the most sensation so you feel your actually stimulating the nerve endings) I had no time frame,just decided to do this as long as needed when I start thinking my legs were floating.Thought that maybe I was just kicking off the bed sheet so looked down and sheet was over feet so carried on for a few minutes when it started again.I realised that my knee joints couldn't physically rotate this way so this was my energy body loosening legs first. Carried on with circular movements when with no effort at all I just floated up and forward this time.No astral noise, no vibrations, no jelly feeling.
Scenery was just like grey cloud around but I knew I was moving.
Passed square photographs. One had me on sitting at a table when I was younger with my eldest son when he was a toddler.
Another with just me on, same table. Another with me sitting again but a side profile of someone sitting with me but it wasn't my husband. It looked like me again but I wasn't sure about this because it disappeared so quickly.
Decided to bin the pictures because I couldn't see any relevance for them.
This next was the best bit that had more meaning.

I'm floating down to the floor. People are moving around in the distance. Activities were going on. I was thinking " this isn't astral landscape, no walls, no hills, no buildings just white all around" . I got excited a little because I realised I was thinking this out as it was happening. I wanted to take control of this one this time.
In the distance I could see men and women on a bicycle, someone walked past me fast then disappeared . I started to move forwards when I thought " no, I need to go back and work this bicycle thing out now, not when I wake up."
Roughly 50/60 /70 men and women all balancing on one single bicycle. Was like a balancing display. they all had black leather outfits on. I thought " well at least they have clothes on this time, that's a relief".( had been having a few dreams involving nudity which even now I have no idea what that was about or why but no big deal, have recorded it above incase need it for future reference) Half way up the display men and women formed what was like a giant water wheel lying on its side.they even formed the spokes between the two edges. This was impressive to look at.
I stood there watching males/ females balancing perfectly on one single bicycle.Decided it didn't need much working out so was really pleased .( not so much because of what it meant but I was standing there knowing I had OBE'd and aware of more thought going on within me)
I float to the right where a large screen has coloured cartoon characters on. I pass it by then once again decide " No I want to go back to look. " This was a screen like a computer or telly with no frame, about knee high tilted slightly just floating. The characters were moving like watching a cartoon. Decided I'd seen enough. Feeling great floated over to another screen . It just had writing on but I couldn't make out any words. They seemed clear enough but they seemed to be changing. Saw a child's plastic toy, but not one I recognise.( I just knew it was)
Looked around and the people had gone, no doors, no windows, no mirrors. Decided I'd seen enough and thought back to body.
Back to body and awake thinking this all through again to retain memory when I sent out a thought that if any beautiful spirit was actually helping me then thank you so much, when I felt the energy in my base chakra and the energy moved slowly upwards appearing to stop at the throat.
Few comments.

Delighted that all thoughts were taking place at the time and clearly working out the meaning at the time, even recalling the previous dreams with nudity, whilst viewing. There seemed to be no vagueness at all.
I took control of where I was going ( once I got there)
Only 180 degree vision again.have had 360 many times but don't know why sometimes just 180.
My one big aim for future events is to go up to someone and speak to someone when experiencing similar clarity

Next day had another one where 180 vision was a blessing.

[eyeoneblack]

That's a humdinger Susan! Congrats on an excellent OBE.

First of all, the pictures: This episode represents what I consider hypnagogic effects which interpret a state of consciousness that is a preamble to the Main Event. You're are just on the threshold of the deeper state ahead. I've never thought too much about this condition, although it's fun, I don't think there is generally anything very useful at this point.

Then you transition again for the Main Event - a bicycle. (Just how many angels WILL fit on the head of pin hehe. Just kidding.)

From this point on your OBE is 'guided'. Your guide is in charge of the show and presents situations for your consideration and instruction. But yours is a bit of a hybrid.

Recently I pm'd CF about one of her dreams. Looking for her feedback. My thoughts centered on the difference between a common dream apart from an LD? My conclusion was that dreams are psyche driven, deal with what's going on in life, are founded often on emotional triggers and are highly symbolic. Whereas the LD/OBE has a much different character.

As simply as I can manage it, the LD feels, to me, like the situation, dreamscape I find myself in was 'going on' before I happened along, and will continue its existence even after I leave. You understand. To me, there isn't really much to interpret about an LD/OBE. It doesn't spring from the well of a dream. It is free of emotional input and as such is merely a trip in space/time.

The reason I feel like yours is a hybrid is this. On some occasions my guide/teacher wants to demonstrate something for me and for this your need you analytical mind (which you are much aware of). I say it's a hybrid because, being a little new to you, you didn't get the 'Ahah' this is school. I may be off base there.

Well, that's my thoughts and as usual take it or leave it ;-)

[btw, I've never had any luck talking to a dream character - their eyes glaze over and obviously just don't 'get it'. Maybe I'm invisible to them :). Exception, I have asked and received names before. That's a nice habit to practice.]

[susan]

Richard, I will take it. Your advice and Tim's is always welcome. ( and others) . I need input from experienced people in this field as I don't attend any kind of classes . Posting in the journal section seems to be away from the chat that goes on , but this is a journal.
And YES I do agree with what you are saying. Even though I felt in control I knew this was for me only to view.( if I have understood)
Please continue to guide me ( even if you think I'm way off track)

29/10/13
OBE

After the previous nights excursion I was still on a high ( just about to go on holiday) but the high was not the holiday but what I had experienced.
Woke up about 4.am, decided to do the same feet exercises as these seem to work. ( I still started with a token effort of bringing energy from the crown ( less than 5 mins) downwards but to be honest the feet circles are far more relaxing and don't need me to think as I do it )
I was wondering if I should do some work on the brow area and my usual fruit cutting exercise while I continued with the feet when I felt my feet feeling lighter. They were floating above physical and I knew what was going on. Kept on with the feet when body felt was fully out.
This time I'm heading in a 45degree upwards movement. FAST.
This seemed like a long tunnel,everything was black but I knew I was travelling . Problem was I once again only had 180 vision but was travelling backwards.
Needed to take control so decided need to be looking forward so just rolled astral body around so I was now facing where I was going. This was the most rewarding part as I hadn't just accepted the position and once again felt I could control this.
Something touched my leg. Didn't see anything coming, never felt it again so no threat.
Even though everything was black and I was heading upwards I seemed to know this was a tunnel and started wondering when the tunnel would end.
After a few seconds I thought the end seemed a little lighter in colour and wondered if I was coming to the end of it.
THEN
Something started to take shape at what I thought was the end.
It was a massive face of a monster ( human looking. )

This was scary but fun. he was so ugly it did the job. I just knew it couldn't hurt me and had previous experiences of what ROBERT. B calls " gatekeepers"
I knew I wasn't allowed to go any further . Access denied.
This was so much fun because I knew it couldn't harm me but believe me even with this knowledge NO- ONE would have wanted go go any further.
The fact that it took about 3 seconds to materialise gave me time to work out what was forming.
With this I simply rolled on my back so couldn't see anything ( on this occasion happy to have 180 vision) , bent forwards to stop moving towards it and very cowardly but happily thought " Back to body"
Recalled event and still feeling really happy at the event ( Nothing can harm me) this had been fun.
Went back to sleep when woke up to a vision of a man with an old fashioned overcoat on and big heavy glasses on( to me the glasses usually mean -TAKe NOTE-. He was taking his mobile phone out of his pocket ( communication) and I saw a lovely vision of a woman skating on ice performing an. Arabesque on ice completing a perfect circle. Enough said. Loved it .

[susan]

KINSHI.
I came up with a Japanese word.
Co- incidence?
Last day of holiday when woke up at about 5am.
Started thinking of all the food and alcohol I had consumed . I went on holiday heavier than I wanted , so obviously I would be even heavier when returning so how was I to loose weight which becomes harder as metabolism slows down as well as the enthusiasm to do any kind of exercise that doesn't mean lying on your back.?
Worked out what attempts have failed in the past , therefore I must just say ...NO..!
When I fancy a glass of wine I say NO. When I fancy bread, potatoes , pasta, I say NO!
Went to sleep to wake up to seeing a tall glass with ice cubes in and a level of liquid in the glass and got the word KINSHI!.
Wrote word down and googled when back to UK.
Japanese verb. To banish, prohibit, not to allow.
This would make sense, bit why in Japanese?
AKEO.....25/6/13 journal page 7-8.
Few episodes involving baby AKEO which although origin of name cannot be verified this is used as a Japanese name.
26/5/13 journal, holding a baby that I thought had slightly oriental eyes and looking out of the window where the wooden house was in the river and men coming out of the river ( with what looked like lobster or crab pots) I felt at the time it was this area of the world.
Co- incidence??

This morning another co- incidence.
Woke up to one of those very short dreams just before wakening. I could recall a longer dream that took place before it but this was a very different topic and very short.
Was in a room without a door and could see dancers over the corridor in another room . I was to copy the dance moves they were doing but couldn't get the hand movements right. Next thing they are in front of me moving towards me dancing. Next they have me in a chair and my eyes are closed. They are squirting mauve foam on my forehead and I could feel it being squirted on . I thought " they are making me look like a clown" . This had me think of Emily Sande's song ...I'll be your clown.( just love this song.) as the foam covered the forehead it was brought down the cheek where they said " we're getting closer" .

Now reading this I'm not stupid. All of this could be what I'm wanting ..But..
This morning went to work when walked into the room I work in when the first thing I saw was a small 6inch mauve clown on the shelf.
I counted them and someone had put 14 small different coloured clowns on the different shelves. ( for colour and interest for dementia patients. Went down a treat, they all loved them)

[eyeoneblack]

Recalled event and still feeling really happy at the event ( Nothing can harm me) this had been fun.

Yay! You are really starting to 'get it' :)

[susan]

Just want to record here
Haven't watched the program " Dr. Who" since I was in my teenage years.
When I used to watch it , it was all fantasy. Make believe.
Tonight watched a special edition for the first time.( 30 years or more) when I got it!!!!!
To do with connecting to different lives in our own evolution.
I am so pleased I haven't followed the series or I may have felt I was influenced by the story line.
It isn't just authors of books that are out there to teach .

[susan]

Not sure if I've just seen my own expanded/ projected double again.
Early am did small token effort of energy raising but for the last couple of days have been wanting to work more on the brow area.
Wonderful to have the OBE experiences but I also miss the vision screen images so did some bouncing ,brushing,sponging exercises on the brow and top of head. Still having problems stilling the mind.
Must have gone to sleep and woke up at 8am. Another hour in bed so tried to silence mind when I was still awake but on the verge of sleep when I felt myself sinking and sinking and sinking. This seemed to go on for ages and I was thinking this at the time but tried hard not to spoil the experience so decided to focus on eyelids.Nothing. Still sinking . Concentrated more on the brow area when a face took shape in front of me. There was no colour. I couldn't work out at the time if this was me, but it looked a bit like my sister,but then it could have been me. She smiled at me, pulled a funny face , blew a kiss and disappeared.

Now the post on page 3 , 2nd March where I saw my own projectable double had me feel her excitement also at the contact but she had independant moves and thoughts because she told me to go to sleep.

The post on page 3 , 24th Feb, where I was watching the mist rise from my body in bed from ceiling height at the bedroom door. I then became this rising mist and moved towards the other mist and merged and just flew off through the window.
The difference with this experience this morning is I didn't feel anything,there wasn't any mind split.
Think I'll just have to leave this with no conclusion.

Since this have read Kurt Leland explanation that you can be aware in more than one energy body simultaneously.
His experience was being aware of himself in the dream state ( astral body) , physical body in bed and etheric body separated from physical and was standing by the side of his bed looking at the physical body. He could switch his awareness to each of these perspectives. One would click on and become dominant , the others would be present in the background.

[susan]

I started this journal noting that I had seen a train stationary in front of sets of tracks going in different directions with a green light showing. The other morning I saw a quick vision of a massive stone train at the end of a line in the station. ( could I have come to the end of a particular learning experience or journey?

Dream, this morning.
I'm with my mother in her old house. We have gone to visit the house and it is shabby and falling to pieces. I am trying to salvage things from it but everything I pick up is damp ,musty. Even a pair of shoes belonging to me are only fit for the bin.
A man comes from next door's garden into the house. I like him. he seems nice .( no face remembered, just that I liked him)
He convinces us that it is for the best , as it is falling to pieces. We are better off without it.
I look out of a window and see it is on the edge of a cliff so we both decided this was for the best.
He now comes into a room where I am sitting with a big round colourful fish holding it up I front of me. When I ask him why he is showing me this he just says he wondered if I had seen one like that before. ( For me fish means more meditation required)
There is an old house phone on the wall and he says he's waiting for a call to say when we can leave.he'll stay with us while he waits.
I look up to the sky and my sister is sitting next to me. There are thousands of stars high up and they are all moving as clouds would, but what stood out was stars forming tube like shapes and pointing upwards as if reaching much higher than the level of the other stars.I point this out because it's very unusual to look at. Woke up.
Just getting in a light trance like stage when saw someone hold mobile phone in front of me with colourful different shapes on.( I think this is similar to my fruit cutting exercises I do and I had fallen behind a bit with this exercise) I saw a lighted match and the flame got brighter and bigger then I just thought I heard said" we'll leave the rest for another time" when my mobile phone alarm went off. It was time to get up.
Thoughts.
I do want to try meditating more and get more visuals.
In this life my late mothers house We inherited was taken from us when a greedy landowner ( a Duke) saw my mothers death as an opportunity to re-claim his land the house was built on. But this dream surprises me if it was about this because it happened years ago and I know we were best without it. We were compensated. I never even think about it now.
If the house represents my body then yes I know I've mentioned I want to loose weight and to Kinshi the wine but my body is certainly not old ,and falling to pieces.

[eyeoneblack]

Alright, I'll try to roll with this one.

A massive train, turned to stone, at the end of the tracks. Your mother, a dilapidated house of your nascentcy. Shoes of old that are useless. A look back, but forward is the way. A mobile phone with attractive colorful shapes/options on it. Yes, ma'am, seems clear to me.

The fish is interesting for me because in one of my 'school lessons' fish in a tank were the object of attention. They would swim to the end of the tank and then morph into another wildly beautiful fish, swim to the other end and morph again. It was all very fantastic, and, for me, and indication of possible transformation through the skills I was developing spiritually.

Keep it up Susan :)

Richard

[eyeoneblack]

Been thinking about this. I am reluctant to add this anecdote, but it may serve.

One of my Kriya teachers told of a dream in which a salmon was the object. The salmon.

I queried that the salmon swims upstream to procreate and die. She didn't quite get it.

6 months later, her husband died of acute and sudden pneumonia.

Pay attention to the fish :-D

[susan]

You've had me thinking on this one Eyeoneblack. The only member of my family who occasionally visits this site is my oldest son ( who appears often in my dreams ,and who is himself developing his psychic side )
My husband is now having a medical condition that is taking time to get under control. This has often been on my mind when one morning at the slight trance stage I saw a newspaper torn in two suggesting to forget it,( but you've been proven right in the past)
In the past I worked on a fish as meditation needed .
I also work on loosing blood from the body as loosing energy and needing to do more.
Last night had many parts of a dream to do with my mothers house which again surprised me but the next was a bit gruesome to watch which got my attention, but it involved me loosing blood from my body. It gets my attention in a dream.
In the past dreams involving loosing blood ( even gruesome but gets my attention) have had very positive results when increasing the energy practice.
I would like to go with my meaning of fish (for obviousness reasons, love him to bits , don't want to spend the rest of my life alone)
But "My friend" your comments are in storage for reference.

[susan]

Flip, just realised.? Could it mean me.?? ( I would be so lucky, lucky , lucky, lucky) .sorry to anyone reading this but when you realise that we are just experiencing a part of what is to come next then I have no fear for the future whatever,

[eyeoneblack]

Flip, just realised.? Could it mean me.?? ( I would be so lucky, lucky , lucky, lucky) .sorry to anyone reading this but when you realise that we are just experiencing a part of what is to come next then I have no fear for the future whatever,

Yay and God Bless You Dear!

[susan]

A few short dreams which I'm sure were in connection to the previous conversation above, so they could be a load of mixed up rubbish meaning nothing but the fact that one involved a school and another a dog( again) will log here.

1) I'm reversing my car in a short space.My mother is in a car behind mine and she is concerned I haven't seen the other one coming to the side of me and might crash into it. But I stop in time and no damage done.
( Although I am in the driving seat I interpret reversing as going backwards, the wrong way.)

2) I'm in the hall to my old school. We are setting it up for some kind of play followed by a presentation.
The play is being rehearsed in front of me and others and someone whispers in my ear that the story to the play doesn't make sense.
The hall is half full with chairs for watching the play and now we are to put tables at the front half for the presentation and meal.
The headmistress directs me which table to put my chair at. I carry my chair to the table , bit close to the front row but that's all I remember.

3) I'm being chased and climb up a very steep slippery hill. I get to the top just in time , away from the chasing people but two massive dogs make it up as well. For a second I thought they were after me but they just lie down looking at me friendly. I felt they were protecting me. ( they were massive almost the size of a donkey)
( page 8 , 17th June, in a garage with cockroaches when two big dogs come running in and the cockroaches run out,they come up to me for a stroke,I felt they were protecting me)
Strange that's twice I've had two dogs looking after me.

The slippery hill may have been me remembering the salmon going up hill.? Oh bring back real OBEs

[IA56]

Hi susan,
I have bean thinking back and forth if I should write my oppinion or my view so here goes, take it for what it is worth of anything.

There are not any rubbish in our dream´s only if we are concentrating on wrong thing´s, so this can come out as "rubbish" to point out that our focus is on wrong part of our development or area.
A child can be a methaphore for our soul or some of our energy bodies development.
I stop here for now :-)

Love
ia

[susan]

Hi IA56'
Your thoughts are always welcome, and like you feel about the interpretation I have to agree.
When I saw the reversing car I strongly felt this was me in the wrong direction of thought, but I didn't crash into the oncoming car. I stopped in time.
Like I said before fish for me usually indicates more meditation required.
I do have a feeling this has to do with my energy body but can you or Richard think of a reason for the two dogs protecting me and on this occasion they were massive?

[IA56]

Hi IA56'
Your thoughts are always welcome, and like you feel about the interpretation I have to agree.
When I saw the reversing car I strongly felt this was me in the wrong direction of thought, but I didn't crash into the oncoming car. I stopped in time.
Like I said before fish for me usually indicates more meditation required.
I do have a feeling this has to do with my energy body but can you or Richard think of a reason for the two dogs protecting me and on this occasion they were massive?

Hi susan,
For me to be able to answere my view about the dog´s, I need that you one more time tell only what you felt around the dog´s...even all small feeling´s details is improtant.

Love
ia

[susan]

Okay, the most recent dream, when I reached the top I was pleased but when I saw the two dogs had made it as well I felt anxious but that quickly left me and I felt they picked that sense up as well as the closest one backed off and just looked at me leaning against a wall and I really felt safe as if they were looking after me, protecting me. The second dog stayed further back . This sounds daft but it was almost as if the closest one wanted to smile. I feel the size of them was important. ( you don't actually get dogs the size of these ones.) This was a very very short dream.

The other very short episode with two dogs.
In real life I fear cockroaches so as soon as the dogs came bounding in I felt they wanted me to know they had chased them out for me . They had a warm , fun, loving , happy presence about them and I felt I wanted to cuddle them .
( in physical I go into many homes where they have dogs and we always have a play and cuddle before work, even if the've never met me before. The owners always end up having to lock them in the kitchen.
Hope this helps

[IA56]

Okay, the most recent dream, when I reached the top I was pleased but when I saw the two dogs had made it as well I felt anxious but that quickly left me and I felt they picked that sense up as well as the closest one backed off and just looked at me leaning against a wall and I really felt safe as if they were looking after me, protecting me. The second dog stayed further back . This sounds daft but it was almost as if the closest one wanted to smile. I feel the size of them was important. ( you don't actually get dogs the size of these ones.) This was a very very short dream.

The other very short episode with two dogs.
In real life I fear cockroaches so as soon as the dogs came bounding in I felt they wanted me to know they had chased them out for me . They had a warm , fun, loving , happy presence about them and I felt I wanted to cuddle them .
( in physical I go into many homes where they have dogs and we always have a play and cuddle before work, even if the've never met me before. The owners always end up having to lock them in the kitchen.
Hope this helps

Now I give you my spontan reaction to your dream....Yes, they guard you because when we are to naive or to ignorant we really do not know what is dangerous for us, and we need protection...your first reaction was ...little bit fear..."they mad it too" youd did run away...the size is big...as our animal part is what has to be metamorphophet to human so to speak....but as it is your own part you do not fear it when you recognized it to be a protection because it is a part or you off course.

Love
ia

[susan]

Thank you AI56, I've just come in from work and tried to settle down to 40 mins closing the mind after first reading your post.
I feel so much happier ( not that I was sad just a little concerned)
I remembered that the first time I saw two dogs was when I had the cockroaches . Now after that I came to realise that I had to address fears I had in physical.( thought I had cancer because of medical signs but was in no hurry to sort out but was very concerned over husbands health.)
This time the dogs have appeared again but bigger just when my medical health is questioned by me .
I need to get back on track mentally with a clear focused mind.
Just a note for the journal,
I feel I have recently lost that lovely warm love that can be brought to the surface when meditating, and this has nothing to do with physical as nothing has changed there.
I try to bring it back but I cann't. I feel flat.
Am I failing to connect ?or do I just feel that love when they are around? I'm happy in physical.

[IA56]

Thank you AI56, I've just come in from work and tried to settle down to 40 mins closing the mind after first reading your post.
I feel so much happier ( not that I was sad just a little concerned)
I remembered that the first time I saw two dogs was when I had the cockroaches . Now after that I came to realise that I had to address fears I had in physical.( thought I had cancer because of medical signs but was in no hurry to sort out but was very concerned over husbands health.)
This time the dogs have appeared again but bigger just when my medical health is questioned by me .
I need to get back on track mentally with a clear focused mind.
Just a note for the journal,
I feel I have recently lost that lovely warm love that can be brought to the surface when meditating, and this has nothing to do with physical as nothing has changed there.
I try to bring it back but I cann't. I feel flat.
Am I failing to connect ?or do I just feel that love when they are around? I'm happy in physical.

Yes, in a way you are not that good connected to your soul or the deeper of you...like you are all the time running from yourself and concerning about others...
You have to start to care about you more, I know it is not easy...and it feel´s selfisch...but it is not... if you do not first take care or you...what is left...nothing ....you have to help yourself to be able then to help others....start NOW.
Start to promise that YOU are the most important person in your life...if you do not value you higher...you get what you fear most....tell yourself that you LOVE YOU a lot!!...Tell yourself that you are proud of who you are!!

Love
ia

[susan]

AI56, I love what you give out, you have so much goodness in you and love to give . I will take on board everything you have said.
I do feel a little humble though because at my stage in life I feel I have everything. AND I DO. Lovely sports car, money, job I love ( bringing in so much connection with a loving older generation ) ,loving family. What more can you ask for ( maybe a little more energy) The Only wish I could make is to know what more I can do? Physically I can't, but whilst sleeping can I do more?
I sent out a wish a while ago that if I was able to be aware when in astral could I do some kind of work in the astral, maybe soul retrievals. But I had a very vivid dream shortly afterwards suggesting there wasn't enough time. Did I understand?
Now my interpretation was that maybe this just isn't in my Contract?
So I will plod on hoping to have memorable experiences and contact but this mustn't be just about what a great experience I am having in astral.
Journal.
This am.
Woke up 4 am.Had gone to bed early so felt like raising energy. Working on feet, moving up to knees then first chakra.
Decided to bounce balls through third eye for a bit, then bounce energy balls from crown straight down to base chakra.got a little bored so moved onto my side,carried on with feet circles when from feeling the vibration in feet it turned to numb so was aware I was getting lighter. Decided to work on the hands this time which is very unusual for me when shortly after my astral hands seemed to raise up and I imagined a piece of carpet( ????) being held between my two hands and somebody is pulling this carpet upwards.
( on reflection this is very similar to the rope technique) just my own way of doing it.
I now know I am about 2 feet above body so decided to concentrate on brow area .
Then it came , hypnopompics, Entertaining.
Swirling of cloud looking faces, then black and white faces .
, then what looked liked like superman flying upside down over a city. This was amusing to watch but I knew this was nothing to remember, just purely hypnopompics. Amusing to watch but woke up.
I'm just feeling a little on hold .
. I want to do something in astral but recently it has all been about ME.
I want to DO something worthwhile.

[IA56]

AI56, I love what you give out, you have so much goodness in you and love to give . I will take on board everything you have said.
I do feel a little humble though because at my stage in life I feel I have everything. AND I DO. Lovely sports car, money, job I love ( bringing in so much connection with a loving older generation ) ,loving family. What more can you ask for ( maybe a little more energy) The Only wish I could make is to know what more I can do? Physically I can't, but whilst sleeping can I do more?
I sent out a wish a while ago that if I was able to be aware when in astral could I do some kind of work in the astral, maybe soul retrievals. But I had a very vivid dream shortly afterwards suggesting there wasn't enough time. Did I understand?
Now my interpretation was that maybe this just isn't in my Contract?
So I will plod on hoping to have memorable experiences and contact but this mustn't be just about what a great experience I am having in astral.
Journal.
This am.
Woke up 4 am.Had gone to bed early so felt like raising energy. Working on feet, moving up to knees then first chakra.
Decided to bounce balls through third eye for a bit, then bounce energy balls from crown straight down to base chakra.got a little bored so moved onto my side,carried on with feet circles when from feeling the vibration in feet it turned to numb so was aware I was getting lighter. Decided to work on the hands this time which is very unusual for me when shortly after my astral hands seemed to raise up and I imagined a piece of carpet( ????) being held between my two hands and somebody is pulling this carpet upwards.
( on reflection this is very similar to the rope technique) just my own way of doing it.
I now know I am about 2 feet above body so decided to concentrate on brow area .
Then it came , hypnopompics, Entertaining.
Swirling of cloud looking faces, then black and white faces .
, then what looked liked like superman flying upside down over a city. This was amusing to watch but I knew this was nothing to remember, just purely hypnopompics. Amusing to watch but woke up.
I'm just feeling a little on hold .
. I want to do something in astral but recently it has all been about ME.
I want to DO something worthwhile.

Hi Susan, I am not sure you mean me when you write AI56 but I assume it is me you mean :-)
That there is not enough time is crusial for you to feel how it felt when it was said...but if you ask me how it lands in me your word´s about this...I feel that that can mean few things or several....maybe not enough time because this incarnation lesson did not be planned in to have this side of your evolution....or that there are other things what is more important to you...but it is noted to futher evolution in you.....or that to be able to execute soul retrivals is to have total awareness and contact to your HS and that is not done yet in you..or to become awware what was planned and not to try to escape the plan....etc etc...
If I had to give any advice for you it would be to start to think what old knowledge you should study...gnostic and kabbalah is the oldest doctrines...but every religion or esoteric knowledge do have as a core from gnosticism and are good markor or out pointer for how to work to get the soul to grow and develop....you know the classic...10 comandments....7 sinds and 7 virutes...etc...etc....
Those are us given as a help to know about how to become human and help the intelectual animal in us to transform.
I´d like to add also...that to develop to the HS level...is to see how all is connected..and why the thing´s are as they are...then you no longer see suffering something horroble but as it is...and why it has to be like this....and that we all have caused it ...what you sow you reap...so to know when you have good contact to your HS is to start to see things as they are and not suffer or feel devestated...that you can be in the storm´s eye so to speak and have your peace and see why and for what it has to be as it is you are facing or looking at.
I know this but I can not live it.....yet....I am working hard on to get there.

Love
ia

[susan]

This morning woke up to seeing a large wooden door and remembered dream.
I was in a holiday camp walking towards our cabin when my father comes out walking past when I ask him where he is going.( I have a toddler with me .) He says he is going to the holy stone . I want to go with him but he says he won't be long,back shortly.
My mother is in the cabin and I ask her what we are having tonight where she says that tonight is free.
We've been invited to the house of the people who own the shop, where we had been looking for a present.
She tells me they just love me and want to adopt me into their home. They want me to knock on their door. As she says this she comes very very close to me and I focus on her mouth which then turns into the big wooden door I woke up to.

Now I know dreams can be just what is on your mind or wishful thinking, but this has had me thinking this morning and I have just had a recap of my paper journal before this one started. Many of the events were recorded in different sections of this forum.

A year ago I was given a goal to pray by a very spiritual man.
Also around the period I saw a man sitting at a table with his hands in the prayer position. ( he was a look alike of how Jesus is portrayed in films) , once again being encouraged to pray.
Around this time I experienced events involving beautiful,pastel rainbow colours,like clouds floating around.
Beautiful ,graceful, slow moving translucent figures around me.

Then the train, stationery in front of tracks with a green light which upon reflection as events occurred I took to mean I was on a journey of some kind.I really feel the last 12 months has been ,with plenty of assistance.

The really vivid OBE being carried and dropped off at a boys Kindergarten.
Past lives, either in the form of a hologram viewed after raising up from body and looking into third eye.( young boy in period costume with long white wig to shoulders)
The picture of the battle field where I felt for the young boy dead on the ground.
Then the baby AKEO which took a few days .
Then when I BECAME for a very short period that person.
The woman looking out of the window from a house in the river. ( not sure if this was AKEO or not)
In the dessert when I knew I was being banished from the land and leaving a loved one.
Then there was a big bold colourful portrait took form in third eye of a young man in period costume.( this may not have been me because at the time I had sent out a wish to be shown one lifetime I had apparently shared with the person who was drawn by a psychic artist with androgynous features.)

Now during this period I have only had a few magical experiences involving beautiful colours.
The boy I loved.
The car in the water.
The talking/ singing mushroom .
The beautiful religious faces on the back of cards( feeling I was being urged to send love out)
12 months ago I had a vivid dream where a man told me he would be back in a year to marry me. I told him I didn't want to ,it wasn't him I wanted. My book describes possible meanings of this as merging of energies.Intellectual and intuitive Or masculine and feminine parts of self.
Then there was the very conscious OBE where I worked out the male/ female balancing act.

I miss perceiving those beautiful colours and sounds and feel after this mornings dream that the time is right to start calling on these higher energies to guide me and maybe try a little harder with their suggestions of prayer and love.

[IA56]

This morning woke up to seeing a large wooden door and remembered dream.
I was in a holiday camp walking towards our cabin when my father comes out walking past when I ask him where he is going.( I have a toddler with me .) He says he is going to the holy stone . I want to go with him but he says he won't be long,back shortly.
My mother is in the cabin and I ask her what we are having tonight where she says that tonight is free.
We've been invited to the house of the people who own the shop, where we had been looking for a present.
She tells me they just love me and want to adopt me into their home. They want me to knock on their door. As she says this she comes very very close to me and I focus on her mouth which then turns into the big wooden door I woke up to.

Now I know dreams can be just what is on your mind or wishful thinking, but this has had me thinking this morning and I have just had a recap of my paper journal before this one started. Many of the events were recorded in different sections of this forum.

A year ago I was given a goal to pray by a very spiritual man.
Also around the period I saw a man sitting at a table with his hands in the prayer position. ( he was a look alike of how Jesus is portrayed in films) , once again being encouraged to pray.
Around this time I experienced events involving beautiful,pastel rainbow colours,like clouds floating around.
Beautiful ,graceful, slow moving translucent figures around me.

Then the train, stationery in front of tracks with a green light which upon reflection as events occurred I took to mean I was on a journey of some kind.I really feel the last 12 months has been ,with plenty of assistance.

The really vivid OBE being carried and dropped off at a boys Kindergarten.
Past lives, either in the form of a hologram viewed after raising up from body and looking into third eye.( young boy in period costume with long white wig to shoulders)
The picture of the battle field where I felt for the young boy dead on the ground.
Then the baby AKEO which took a few days .
Then when I BECAME for a very short period that person.
The woman looking out of the window from a house in the river. ( not sure if this was AKEO or not)
In the dessert when I knew I was being banished from the land and leaving a loved one.
Then there was a big bold colourful portrait took form in third eye of a young man in period costume.( this may not have been me because at the time I had sent out a wish to be shown one lifetime I had apparently shared with the person who was drawn by a psychic artist with androgynous features.)

Now during this period I have only had a few magical experiences involving beautiful colours.
The boy I loved.
The car in the water.
The talking/ singing mushroom .
The beautiful religious faces on the back of cards( feeling I was being urged to send love out)
12 months ago I had a vivid dream where a man told me he would be back in a year to marry me. I told him I didn't want to ,it wasn't him I wanted. My book describes possible meanings of this as merging of energies.Intellectual and intuitive Or masculine and feminine parts of self.
Then there was the very conscious OBE where I worked out the male/ female balancing act.

I miss perceiving those beautiful colours and sounds and feel after this mornings dream that the time is right to start calling on these higher energies to guide me and maybe try a little harder with their suggestions of prayer and love.

WoW Susan, what a dream full of symbolism...you have not asked my oppinion about it but as long as you have not said or asked me not to so here goes...
The door is a door to soul school...the toddler is your not awakened part what has to be taught and learned....the father and mother is your HS....he is going to the holy stone...spheres where you are not allowed yet to enter...but will in time...the shop is about your desires...what has to become aware and controlled....likewise to become aware of how the law´s function in HS spheres ...thank you for sharing this dream....it speak´s volumes to me.

Love
ia

[susan]

Thank you AI56, you have given me so much hope.

I just want to note that since I was early 20 s and nursing, for someone of my age I was attracted to the " geriatric ward " as we called it in those days. I was sensing the appreciation you got from them.
Now in my late 50s this is more so. When people wonder if they are on the right path meant for them , I have no doubt .
When people ask if I feel the energy ball created within the hands for bouncing back and forth I used to feel they had something that I wasn't able to do yet.
In my posts I have often said that when energy raising I have no urge to use the hands.I just know my path is not for reaching the young, working in that field of employment. ( I don't mean that I feel I shouldn't, just that I never felt I wanted to.)

I have just had three beautiful experiences today during work .
1st, a lady who is so demanding and I would have described as a little odd and can be blunt which because of this I take my time.
When she heard of my concern over family matters ( my son who has a medical problem but is abroad ) she very quietly without looking at me made it quite clear that if I needed any money she had plenty and I only needed to ask.
( I don't but she , at the time , didn't know this. )
How beautiful was this, she comes across as a miserable complaining complicated old woman , and then shows her compassionate side to someone who is not even a member of the family.
2nd . A lady in her 80s tells of the problems she has with neighbours and she seems to be taken advantage of because of her age, paying for services, ie window cleaning, refuge bins cleaning . Paying for neighbours services as well. ( why does age turn them into easy targets)
But this 3rd experience did it for me .
Mother in her 80s lost her husband of 50 years or more last year.
Daughter very busy with much family commitment
Mother talks of her memories of husband . Daughter comes in talking of everyday issues and putting decorations up.
Mother talks of card on mantelpiece and how it reminds her of events during married life with late husband.
Daughter talks of every day matters.
I mention that I'm waiting for a call from a psychic artist who is printing Xmas cards for me with the most beautiful scenes. I told her of a little of experience.
Her eyes light up.
Daughters eyes roll and a remark is passed about people with dementia .
My time to say goodbye but I could see in the mothers face that she had enjoyed that slight contact of hope .

I know in my heart that I am in the job meant for me and for the elderly who are so vulnerable just being able to talk of the slightest experience I have had gives them a little more hope that they may have something to look forwards to.


Forgot to mention, this am remembered dream where someone is telling me with conviction that I MUST bring ....... ( my son) back to Britain.
Well I knew that he was coming back for Christmas so dismissed this as just imagination.
Later today he sent me a text that he couldn't afford to come home as well as the news that he had a diagnosed medical condition.
Things are sorted.

[IA56]

Thank you AI56, you have given me so much hope.

I just want to note that since I was early 20 s and nursing, for someone of my age I was attracted to the " geriatric ward " as we called it in those days. I was sensing the appreciation you got from them.
Now in my late 50s this is more so. When people wonder if they are on the right path meant for them , I have no doubt .
When people ask if I feel the energy ball created within the hands for bouncing back and forth I used to feel they had something that I wasn't able to do yet.
In my posts I have often said that when energy raising I have no urge to use the hands.I just know my path is not for reaching the young, working in that field of employment. ( I don't mean that I feel I shouldn't, just that I never felt I wanted to.)

I have just had three beautiful experiences today during work .
1st, a lady who is so demanding and I would have described as a little odd and can be blunt which because of this I take my time.
When she heard of my concern over family matters ( my son who has a medical problem but is abroad ) she very quietly without looking at me made it quite clear that if I needed any money she had plenty and I only needed to ask.
( I don't but she , at the time , didn't know this. )
How beautiful was this, she comes across as a miserable complaining complicated old woman , and then shows her compassionate side to someone who is not even a member of the family.
2nd . A lady in her 80s tells of the problems she has with neighbours and she seems to be taken advantage of because of her age, paying for services, ie window cleaning, refuge bins cleaning . Paying for neighbours services as well. ( why does age turn them into easy targets)
But this 3rd experience did it for me .
Mother in her 80s lost her husband of 50 years or more last year.
Daughter very busy with much family commitment
Mother talks of her memories of husband . Daughter comes in talking of everyday issues and putting decorations up.
Mother talks of card on mantelpiece and how it reminds her of events during married life with late husband.
Daughter talks of every day matters.
I mention that I'm waiting for a call from a psychic artist who is printing Xmas cards for me with the most beautiful scenes. I told her of a little of experience.
Her eyes light up.
Daughters eyes roll and a remark is passed about people with dementia .
My time to say goodbye but I could see in the mothers face that she had enjoyed that slight contact of hope .

I know in my heart that I am in the job meant for me and for the elderly who are so vulnerable just being able to talk of the slightest experience I have had gives them a little more hope that they may have something to look forwards to.


Forgot to mention, this am remembered dream where someone is telling me with conviction that I MUST bring ....... ( my son) back to Britain.
Well I knew that he was coming back for Christmas so dismissed this as just imagination.
Later today he sent me a text that he couldn't afford to come home as well as the news that he had a diagnosed medical condition.
Things are sorted.

Hi ussan

Love
ia

[susan]

Oops sorry did it again .
IA56' there got it this time

[susan]

Dream.
This was after wakening up about 5am and doing little energy work then falling asleep

I am in a small plane as a passenger coming into land and can even feel the bumpy landing and swaying a little sideways as it tries to keep in a straight line on the runway.
When I look out the window it's lovely. Reminds me of having been on holiday with long sandy beaches. I'm with my husband and father when I decide to take some photos of the place with my phone.
My father and husband run ahead of me and enter a large building as if they know where they are going and I follow.
They want to go downstairs and go ahead of me very quickly down the stairs.
I go to follow them ,but this is the problem, the stairs.
I don't know how they managed because they are very steep and there is nothing to hold onto. I look at the steps and even they are too wide apart that even if I was to face the steps and hold onto each one I would have to drop down with nothing to hold onto each time. I was scared and just couldn't. I turn around and see many people waiting for me to move so they can go down.
With this I apologise and move away and sit down when a group of people come and sit around me. One young girl said I knew her. I told her I didn't think I did. Another girl agreed and said she didn't think she did either.
End of dream.
Now my father always used to come on holiday with us so I can understand why he was in my dream ( even though he looked super skinny) I think what stood out for me was how 2 times they darted ahead of me for me to follow.
If only this had been an OBE I would have just flown down the stairs .
Have just read a journal on Kurt Leylands site where he describes a visit to an area between astral and mental plane where people go to learn how to get around, when one of the trainers comes out of a gift shop.
Gift shop. Could be coincidence but previous post I visited a gift shop and it was the owners who wanted to adopt me and wanted me to knock on their door.
Food for thought.

[susan]

Last couple of nights decided not to do energy raising when waking up as I was feeling I wasn't getting enough sleep, just try to forget and sleep and sleep. Didn't enjoy the dreams recalled, full of activity such as .

With a group of people ( I don't think I knew) and we are in a lift that is open and moving in all directions up down sideways with a woman in charge standing in control at the front.
Next night with a group of people standing on the coast line and we are all trying to keep this giant floating person in front of us from falling and touching the ground but we didn't have remote controls we had to think it. ( it landed with a bumpy landing, but it landed)

Enclosed in an area with others. We cann't go out. There are soldiers outside. We are in an entrance now and all try to get out but a bus full of these soldiers ( looking very squashed) block the entrance . I just know access was denied.
These dreams remind me of post 7th April page 5 , where this was an unusual dream with much activity I was taking part in with a group of people but not with the feeling that they were necessarily friends. ( this post included the musical sounding mushroom)


However this morning after my main dream did just a little energy when got into that midway trance state when I pick up a new born baby from the floor. Turn it to face me and I just want to cuddle it when it says "HELLO MUMMY!"
It then puts it's arms up reaching up to the sky with the arms slightly bent.
This had me recall a dream I didn't record here. I thought it was a little too easy to interpret therefore wishful thinking.

Dream
I'm sitting in a train with a young child with my hair colouring asleep with her head on my lap.
A man is sitting next to me and a woman to the right of him.
The child wakes up and goes to her daddy when he tells me they are taking her to meet George Clooney.
I sit there thinking " what is she doing?"
The mother is standing up looking up to the sky with a big smile on her face and has her hands raised up in the same position as the baby this morning did and she is talking to someone she is delighted to see.
In the dream I'm thinking " who is she talking to. There's no one there . She can see someone we cann't"
After the dream I was thinking ....why didn't I dream Brad Pitt. George Clooney more my age group but he wouldn't have been my first choice.
The position of the arms reaching upwards I think is a link. Is this trying to encourage me to reach upwards with thoughts?

[susan]

Forgot to note. Had been wondering if I should quit the all over energy body work out and concentrate more on the brow area when I saw a mans head wearing a miners helmet with a light shining from the front ( brow area)

[eyeoneblack]

Hi, Susan :) In my mind/experience babies are often representative of our higher self - the one that's becoming within us. That this particular baby appeared to be some other couples' baby, though a bit of a twist, remains YOU and prob only means your personal growth is in the care of 'others'; communally speaking. "We all get out together".
Love the miner's helmet. Miners dig deep and in darkness except where the lamp shows. You're a brave person, Susan. I like that!

[susan]

Hi Richard, interesting you used the word 'Brave' because I woke up to someone telling me not to be frightened.I wasn't going to bother posting this one but here goes.
I dreamt that I was first day on a ward nursing but had had no tuition and was a little uncomfortable that I couldn't remember how to do some of the procedures. ( in my dream I seemed to remember that I had previously trained but a long time ago) . Still in the dream I'm now asleep on a bed when someone I know kneels down to speak to me. I tell him I feel I've been thrown in the deep end and could I have some training first.? I feel I cann't manage without help.
Now I woke up before the next one and just to mention that in physical life the water board have informed us that the water supply will be turned off in a few days so they can carry out some necessary repair work outside. This is not a problem for me as I'll be at work and wasn't even thinking about it.
So next dream , in the dream I wake up and can hear my tap downstairs running. I go downstairs to see what's happened when my kitchen tap is running full blast. I cann't switch it off because the workmen have taken the top off the tap and left one of their tools attached to it. I realise that they had let themselves in but they mean well because they are doing repair work and I see a message written for my attention explaining that .when I'm reading this I hear someone to the left of me say in my ear.
" Don't be frightened"
I have no issue in physical that this could refer to ( unless it hasn't happened yet) I feel this has to do with the last few days dreams posted above .

[susan]

Tonight I am at a loss . My husband has just lost his much loved mother but due to reasons can not be at the funeral. Family have contacted on phone but he has felt such sadness. So I came in from work wondering if maybe this is the time to give some insight to a bit of what I am going through.showed him some cards from a psychic artist that I had collected and asked him what he could see . He put his glasses on and couldn't see anything. 3 people today upon asking the same question all saw the same beautiful two angels together with birds in the sky. He saw nothing . Just when the time seems right to let him in to my experiences to comfort him .he sees nothing. Is he blocking out or just not ready yet because this was the perfect timing?

[CFTraveler]

I would think that he may be so involved in his own grief that he can't see anything but what he's going through with his mother. Grief can be incredibly blocking.

[susan]

For the journal I just want to note that having re-read previous post it may have come across as self centred. My only hope was that I could give some glimmer of hope of my husband seeing his mother again.
Everything has gone very quiet( 22nd October) was told of this . Still raising energy daily but when at that trance like stage I get " busy" this had me thinking of the disasters recently and felt very selfish so accepted this. Still did daily energy raising and round about 5 am after visit to the bathroom did more when I would get " Busy" . This am doing more when I heard . " your productive time is around 6 am" . So on this decided to just go to sleep and sleep. Woke up about 7 am when I heard " have you noticed your "Clair's..... are getting " and with this I saw a beautiful oblong colour of deep purple but more bluish..

All dreams recalled seem to be of a puzzle. With people I don't know but trying to do something. Not enjoying the dreams at the moment but the main note for me is nothing negative.

[susan]

Another brow centre strobe and vision screen is building up again, but first .
Yesterday am woke up from dream then saw a lovely red colour with deep red dots within the red. Just lay there looking and eyelids were like a snowy flickering tv screen with the Ariel not plugged in . ( had this before so knew the extra brow work I had been doing was working) .
Back to sleep ( no energy raising) . Woke up and fully awake could hear traffic outside and was viewing a large spinning white disc in brow area like a beautiful magnified snow flake,then a small deep purple snowflake like disc spinning in front of it. These disappeared then the snowy TV screen again.
This morning, very much aware of a brilliant white flash in brow area that was like someone putting two live wires together.

Just want to record that all over body energy raising the News is always done before any longer brow work.
Learnt the hard way . ( men pregnant, ??? women fighting ???)

I have hesitated in posting this for any interpretation thought by others but I remind myself that this is a journal for my own reflection so here goes.
The last few dreams seem to be of topics that I am failing in. ( maybe a particular country that I have no wish to visit because of their habits . ( this turns into a dream and upon remembering am feeling guilty . )
More but the point is made.

[susan]

Nothing happening in the brow area, just a feeling of a tight band around and dreams recalled are to do with what I am thinking anyway.
Must clear out the body and drink plenty of water and watch more carefully what I eat.
However, just at the point of wakening yesterday I quickly saw a scene where I was walking towards an elderly woman dressed in long clothing and I think her hair was covered. She was standing outside a hut I took to be her home and it seemed to be made of mud. There were no other huts around that I could see and she was walking towards me with her arms out. This seemed quite a throw back to a long time ago .
This happened so fast that was all I got but the strange thing is that this had no relevance at all to the two dreams I recalled .
This has reminded me of my first ever OBE where I catapulted into the air and had someone take me on a guided tour over snowy hills above a castle and then we were flying over a village with huts made of mud and straw and people were just laying around.I remember describing it like the Robin Hood days.
This was recorded on the old site about 4-5 years ago.
This latest could be described as similar .
Well one of those things, probably never find out.

Just did a bit of homework . Found it.
OBE Forum page 15 , titled " Mystery tour ( but not alone) "
Recorded 20/3/11
It seemed to have happened around 2006.
At the time Greytraveller suggested it may have been a Non physical Belief System territory.
If this was the same then have I been taken back there again? Last time we just flew above it.

[susan]

Woke up to watching lions and tigers( like black drawings) just facing me and moving.( brow area )
Went back to sleep and remembered being on board a massive cruise liner in the middle of the deep ocean and decide to jump overboard. Not because I was being chased or had to but because I had faith that I would surface and not drown.
I remember every part of the feeling of falling down, even holding my breath just before touching the water.( I plummeted down to the bottom and was even wondering if I had taken enough breath in, then got to the surface no problem.
Felt great. Knew I could do it. I'd survived!
Following this I look out of my house , my bin is out waiting for collection. Someone says OR I SAY, no need to , " it's already been emptied" Then I see a table full of dirty dishes and I'm standing at the side ready to clear it.
( I think this last bit has to do with me feeling I need to get healthier and clean out my body. I think I still have a long way to go.
Also some dreams recently may be suggesting to see people as individuals and rid myself of categorising some .( you see I'm not so sweet)
Last bit has me walk downstairs in my house to see that every light has been left on. The house is lit up.
( sons visiting, say no more)

[susan]

Two more brow centre strobes about 30 mins apart this morning.
But first, yesterday morning felt light headed, nauseous, fatigue. There was no headache to this but I didn't know if it was due to too much energy work on brow ( even though as stated previously I always spend more time on all over body work first)
OR the fact that I am cutting down to loose weight and it's working and that morning had only had bottle of mineral water and mug of coffee.
Could have been combination of both but rested in bed through day, ate soup, by 3-4 pm felt much better.
Decided not to do any energy work yesterday just incase.
This morning woke up from a dream where I'm on a train with 3-4 friends. The train is stationary but tilts and I fall out into a deep deep muddy puddle. Now I am completely submerged standing upright under the mud but am not panicking because I know my friends are extending their arms to pull me out, and they do . However whilst under the mud I was focusing on my breath. I didn't need to breath but decided to try a little breath and it worked.I was okay being submerged. I just felt we were having a bit of fun.
Whilst recapping this dream I was awake and once again like two live wires going off in the brow area with a large crackle / explosion noise saw a purple flash of light.
This was such a shock that I did actually jump slightly with my physical body as I was awake when it happened.
30 mins later approx just starting to doze off when it happened again.this time it was a white flash.
This woke me up unfortunately.

Just a note that this is the second dream involving holding my breath and being submerged, but feeling really good about it.

[eyeoneblack]

Many years ago when I was first becoming lucid I used to dream of tea parties under the sea. From this I came to actually believe I could breath underwater. And in fact, I could, years later as a swimmer, cover the length of an Olympic pool underwater - no problem. The secret to that, of course, was the lack of fear, being totally comfortable underwater. In effect it seemed I could breath through my skin.

Just this morning had a dream of a train - a piece of mechanical mayhem that didn't work.

Another thought; while your success is great in your ambitions, I wonder if maybe you ought to take a vacation from it all? Maybe stop working it so hard for a little while. Just a fleeting thought.

As always, I stop by here whenever I visit the site. I get a vicarious enjoyment from it. :)

[susan]

Something strange just happened during attempted meditation but then if you read this journal what's different?
First, took Richards advice and had a break ( through the night anyway).
felt great today, full of energy took xmas tree down , cleaned up , household chores ,so decided to have 1 hour with binaural beats
Ascension CD that I always use and just lye on the bed and switch mind off. No energy raising.
Into 2nd track when mind wanders.
( my sister and I have started a thing where we communicate via the Internet in rhym. Very childish but fun,we communicate a lot more and have fun trying to find the right words to fit. So I had just sent a reply back to her and this was what I had started to think about when I should have been silencing the mind.)
Then in a flash in the left hand corner of my vision I saw an Ancient Egyptian man standing sideways and he had traditional head gear on but his head was a snakes head.
Once again this was completely out of the blue and no relevance to what I had been thinking about.

[eyeoneblack]

Oh, oh, oh. I think you're fixin' to be initiated, if you haven't already. Welcome to the cult of the anaconda!

[susan]

Woke up this morning after a short sleep to a heavy thud and feeling energy travel right up my body. Recalled dream immediately and it was very very similar to one I had 18 months ago which was never recorded here so first I'll record the previous dream.
August 27 2012.
Entered a massive plane with my husband. Going on a long haul flight. Got separated from husband .Looked for seat but someone is sitting in it . We had been double booked. Looked and found a member of staff who was to help me find a seat.
Passed 1st class which had double beds with gold bedspreads on. Went to the back of the plane where I found a seat where a female member of the crew was sitting down playing with a mobile phone.I remember her shoes so clearly they were black and white.
She told me as she got up to leave that she was not working today as she she had been getting presents from the ' Captain' and crew for ' graduating' .
Now I realised I couldn't take that seat because it was the back of the plane where the crew sit so an annoyed crew member took me along a corridor to see the captain to see if I was allowed to fly. The corridor had doors leading off when she pulled the arm of the captain from just inside one of the doors and brought him in front of me. He took on the appearance of a funny old sea captain with a white beard and was grinning and holding a mobile phone up to his ear. The crew member was annoyed at this and took his phone off him.
End of dream.

Dream today.
I'm sitting on a runway with husband and we are in groups waiting to go on a journey in a big plane. The group before us do a bit of showing off flying in the sky in formation. They are showing off because they have done this before.
Now it's our turn to go but I suddenly realise that we don't have tickets to board the plane. The ones we have are old ones because we have done the journey before as well. Hubby reassures me it's okay he bought 2 new tickets off someone. We board the plane to look for seat. My hubby isn't around anymore and the seats so far are full. A crew member is helping me look for my seat. One part of the plane is so squashed with people they are standing up then I'm shown to a massive part of the plane almost the size of my old school hall. I can sit anywhere, although there are no seats but it didn't matter there was loads of space.
My son looking very young and my nephew also looking only about 10 years old are at the other end playing on their computers .they are with similar aged children and they all ask me to just keep quiet, not to talk. A large screen is in front of me for me to look at . I say something to them when they put their hands to their heads and urge me to please stop talking and just watch the screen.
I woke up to the heavy thud and energy rush .

I know this first dream was a good positive dream .
Both of them had a little twist to them that there was some doubt whether I could fly or not.( although this last one ended up with no doubt . I could.
Both of them has my husband come with me then he isn't around anymore.
This time it's a journey I've already done before like the group ahead of ours.
This last dream has me at the end with young family members.
Two definite messages at the end is for me to silence the mind and look into the brow area.( I call it my vision screen)

[susan]

Woke up this morning after a short sleep to a heavy thud and feeling energy travel right up my body. Recalled dream immediately and it was very very similar to one I had 18 months ago which was never recorded here so first I'll record the previous dream.
August 27 2012.
Entered a massive plane with my husband. Going on a long haul flight. Got separated from husband .Looked for seat but someone is sitting in it . We had been double booked. Looked and found a member of staff who was to help me find a seat.
Passed 1st class which had double beds with gold bedspreads on. Went to the back of the plane where I found a seat where a female member of the crew was sitting down playing with a mobile phone.I remember her shoes so clearly they were black and white.
She told me as she got up to leave that she was not working today as she she had been getting presents from the ' Captain' and crew for ' graduating' .
Now I realised I couldn't take that seat because it was the back of the plane where the crew sit so an annoyed crew member took me along a corridor to see the captain to see if I was allowed to fly. The corridor had doors leading off when she pulled the arm of the captain from just inside one of the doors and brought him in front of me. He took on the appearance of a funny old sea captain with a white beard and was grinning and holding a mobile phone up to his ear. The crew member was annoyed at this and took his phone off him.
End of dream.

Dream today.
I'm sitting on a runway with husband and we are in groups waiting to go on a journey in a big plane. The group before us do a bit of showing off flying in the sky in formation. They are showing off because they have done this before.
Now it's our turn to go but I suddenly realise that we don't have tickets to board the plane. The ones we have are old ones because we have done the journey before as well. Hubby reassures me it's okay he bought 2 new tickets off someone. We board the plane to look for seat. My hubby isn't around anymore and the seats so far are full. A crew member is helping me look for my seat. One part of the plane is so squashed with people they are standing up then I'm shown to a massive part of the plane almost the size of my old school hall. I can sit anywhere, although there are no seats but it didn't matter there was loads of space.
My son looking very young and my nephew also looking only about 10 years old are at the other end playing on their computers .they are with similar aged children and they all ask me to just keep quiet, not to talk. A large screen is in front of me for me to look at . I say something to them when they put their hands to their heads and urge me to please stop talking and just watch the screen.
I woke up to the heavy thud and energy rush .

I know this first dream was a good positive dream .
Both of them had a little twist to them that there was some doubt whether I could fly or not.( although this last one ended up with no doubt . I could.
Both of them has my husband come with me then he isn't around anymore.
This time it's a journey I've already done before like the group ahead of ours.
This last dream has me at the end with young family members.
Two definite messages at the end is for me to silence the mind and look into the brow area.( I call it my vision screen)

[eyeoneblack]

Hi Susan. I should know, but pardon me; do you fly in dreams? In both dreams you do not have a seat, and the large hall is obviously not a plane - somewhere else. That you end with young family members points to immaturity of some sort.

Just my take, dear. It's a twist that points to a twisting nature of something of perhaps even an insincerity about something. May be a lead, but no solution. Oh well.

[susan]

Ummmmmm, have to sleep on that one and give it some thought.
Insincerity? I've thought of two things recent but these are in my opinion quite acceptable( if you get away with it)

Completing my tax return which definitely will be an insincerity,
and the price of the beautiful bag I bought for my hubby to give me for Christmas. It was 3 times the price he thought it was.
However I'm okay with those two. The last one is a woman's thing.
As I said, I'll have to give this one some thought or just keep it stored as it may not have happened yet.

[eyeoneblack]

HeHe. Who among us is not insincere from time to time... :-D

[susan]

OBE
I could do with some input from this one but first,
If you are just about TO EAT, please don't read this till you've digested your food!! ( not joking)

This one ended up not so good so first I want to set the scene and record the events leading up to it. I know there is a lot of personal detail in here but to get a clear picture as to why , I need to record.

Monday - Friday knew I had a heavy week ahead with three of the days going into care homes. I always get a buzz from the interaction with them and cuddles but was going to be tiring .
Day 1) Not good. One lady is gunning for me and as I affectionately during conversation cup my hand under her elbow she gives me daggers with the eyes, as if to say " get your hands off me" . The message was clearly there and the staff rescue me telling me she has been leading up to a confrontation all day with someone.
Another lady is so so angry with being in here she lashes out at me . I kneel down and hold her hand as she gets everything off her chest. ( 10-15 minutes of listening to unhappiness she later came up and made me promise to see her next week , she was just getting things off her chest.)
Went to bed late ( hubby off)
Day 2) dementia care home, everyone seems either ill, or in bad mood ( or dead ( 6) ) .A lot of aggression today. Zimmerman frames being slammed in temper, extreme quick change from being smiley and yes to aggression and temper "no" . Hot room to work in and I'm going down hill quickly.
Day 3) morning appt gentleman has just vomited into his long beard before I arrived. He wasn't aware of this so I didn't want to embarrass him and spent 30 mins trying not to look .
Came back for a break and replied to Richards response. The above conversation wasn't anything to do with what was going on with me in the last two days .
RIGHT!!!,
The scene is set as to what led to this.
Last night decided to go to bed early and have a good nights sleep . 9.40.
Slept well till 12.30, then 1.30, the hubby gets up to toilet at 2.30 when the phone goes off. This really wakens me up but no number is left.
Slowly drifted off when I thought my knee was going to fall off the end of the bed. Checked and really pleased because I was well away from the edge so knew I was close. ( no energy raising)
Slowly silenced the mind and waited when the vibrations started. Not heavy but the noise was loud. Knew what was going on . Really pleased. Felt the back of my head being patted gently twice. I found this comforting and thought " good, I'm not alone" .
Raised up slowly then sideways, then down and down and down. I've had equally good experiences going down so wasn't frightened but wanted to shift the direction so tried to shoot upwards fast. Worked, in amongst stars and a lot of red. But very quickly down and sideways.
Was travelling amongst grey and backwards speeding past what looked like iron structures to buildings before they are completed. ( had this type before but this was not as if in water as the last was. ) flying backwards in empty dark buildings just skimming the ceilings I knew and was thinking at the time " this isn't real time zone, nor is it a part of the astral, ? I don't know."
I'm now heading away and next thing I'm back in bedroom just above my headboard to re- enter when I think " right. It's over" when in front of me I see a large dark/ black shadow.
Immediately I knew this was a bad sign . Black is dark, lower energy/ spirit.
1). Had I been taken on a journey by a lower entity, because of what I had attracted over the last couple of days? If so why did I get a reassuring pat on the head before the adventure? At no time did this energy try to frighten me, I think this is important to remember.
2) was this dark energy I saw something to do with me ( dweller on the threshold) with all the negative energy around for the last 3 days? But then who patted me on the head that I felt was reassurance and comforting?
3) could this have been a 2 with guidance ( the pat ) letting me experience what I had created around me to let me know what is out there for the unprepared , open, unprotected. ( naive.?)
Maybe it is about time I experienced the bad. Just to be aware.

Another care home tomorrow..... OMG.

[susan]

Face Shifting.
I've just realised something new is presenting itself when remembering dreams or quick flashes of a scene before waking up.
The persons face in the dream will change which then when interpreted comes with a definite message.
AND I think it's a big telling off.

But first last week was one of the worst I can remember physically therefore mentally as well, which showed up in the dream state.

( I've been getting strong suggestions to use the brow area to just focus on that rather than to try to loosen body and project.)

As I was going down hill as I experienced last week one of my conversations was about people in this country.I didn't start it but I definitely didn't defend these people and I ended up agreeing with the elderly gentleman.( I failed in feeling what it must be like for these people we were talking about.)
3x Face changes.
1) After the previous OBE posted above I went back to sleep and had a quick recall of chasing someone into a shop. When I entered there was one of the people We had been talking about. He was putting on a shoe to see if it would fit onto the foot of an old boss of mine.He smiled at me then his face changed and he grew horns and took a devils face.
Interpretation taken from the only book I use.
Shoes-- do not judge another until you have walked in his or her shoes.
Devil---- lower ignorant side of self, procrastinate, to dwell in negative thoughts.
The whole of last week was good for me because it has highlighted what I'm failing in and I need to clean up my thinking.

2) Another is a bit personal and I can understand its meaning but the message was understood when a part of his face turned into an object.

3) The recorded dream where her face got closer and as I focused on her mouth it turned into a door.
This was a good one though I feel and so did IA56.
I'm trying to cleanse my body a little but I still have to face my inner thoughts and clean up my act.

( I would say Richards thoughts could relate to (1) and once again the plane dream, the message, came before the event

[susan]

OBE.
Very low powered but no problem getting out. Conditions perfect, main sleep over,still very relaxed,stirring feet only but just stirred, stirred and stirred with no effort at all. Didn't care if I was to fall asleep.But I didn't.
Slight vibrations,then listening to the noise in the ears.Knew what was going on and was even thinking just how many different noises there are. Could hear radio station,someone talking, knew it was up to me now . Stared into brow area,flickering. Tried to shoot up fast and felt movement but all I could see was darkness . Very disappointing,going backwards again then I'm flying towards a wall that I can now see and it has been stripped of wallpaper and still has little bits left on.
This last bit may have been my own creation I suppose considering the past week. One day I'll get back up there.

[susan]

Yesterday 4am after main sleep mind wandered to Michael Newtons 'Memories of the Afterlife'. All subjects hypnotised had memory of the people they encountered in spirit. Who they were,what role they played in previous lives with them and even now, what part they are playing, which seems to re iterate what I've read before that only a part of ' the whole of us' is incarnated.
This had me try to work out the other me I saw in front of me once who was prettier and acted independently but I WAS her thoughts and she was mine. She showed a sense of humour when she suggested with ZZZzzzzzz coming from her mouth that I should go to sleep now.
I've had many humorous events recalled from sleep.
I lay in bed wondering just how many times I've had an experience thinking it was a guide helping me, taking me , showing me ,when in fact it was this other part of me. I'm still open to the idea of higher guidance assisting but I've had a hint before that I didn't realise who it was helping me.
So while these thoughts were trying to make sense I felt energy travel right up my body 3 times.
I then sent out a thought that if there is anyone listening, am I right? Am I connecting to ME.
I then felt warmth and intense love travel through me. Not upwards but from inside as if building up with intensity then I felt heavier and heavier AND I FELL ASLEEP!
I had had so many thoughts going on in my mind it didn't make sense to fall asleep.
Woke up hearing myself say ' that was beautiful, can I see some more?"
The reply was ' maybe , we'll C " .I even saw the reply in writing using C instead of see.
The feeling of peace and harmony stayed with me for a few hours but I have absolutely no recall of anything between that time. ( bit like going into the white room in what I perceived as a space station when I had no memory of what was said, but I did recall coming back to body.)

[CFTraveler]

Nice. :heart:

[eyeoneblack]

"Jesus loves me this I know/ for the Bible tells me so". Your work in care centers triggered that memory. I was appalled. I was an 11-yr-old pianist and had come to entertain the inmates of a psychiatric home. I played Bach, I played Chopin but the crowd was restless. Finally one soul asked if I could play "Jesus Loves Me"?

So I did, and Wonderfully I was then received. It was a shock to me. That's all these people wanted? A simple little song when I had real musical delights for the offing.

[susan]

But what you and I perceive as real musical delights which take much talent to perform( specially at 11yrs old, very impressed) from a much talented composer,I suppose they don't connect to, therefore don't see it as that.
Their musical delight is maybe something that brings back memories of the past or something related to do with where they know they will be going shortly.
But I think you know this already
Elderly spend a lot of time sleeping, I believe getting closer to the spirit world that waits for them.
I just love, love love, the opportunity to try to make the contact with these beautiful people.
If your looking for love it just oozes out of them .( apart from the occasional tantrum) little too many last week.

[susan]

Giant sparkling head made of stars.
Delighted, just read a thread on this site (2009) discussing how some spirits are perceived and suggests many people describe the same sparkling star like appearance.

(Oops, thought this would have attached to the relevant post I was viewing)
Page 13, 22nd Sept

[eyeoneblack]

Odd. My daughter and I were reminiscing Thurs night and she re-described an incident she experienced when she was 7 or so. A black object in her closet sparkling with green and red lights.

Your account puts some context to that. :)

[She hasn't followed me into the metaphysical world and that's a good thing. I think she's talented but she might become a GMAN12 and I'd have to rescue her! :-D]

[susan]

Woke up this am hearing a song being sung.
" no matter what you can do, no matter what you cann't do, just keep them laughing"
This was lovely and very relevant to last night feeling there was too much for me to do and I couldn't do it all and was getting bit stressed.

Dream
Well I've written of Harry Potter type dream before but this time yesterday morning this was a lovely Alice In Wonderland quick sketch.
I'm in a lovely cottage in countryside when I walk out into the garden full of flowers. I walk down the path to the small gate and there is an archway made from ivy before the gate. There is an identical path a few yards away within the same garden with the same ivy archway. First of all I see a beautiful large bird the size of a large cat.It has a very flat head with pointed ears or feathers where the ears would be. It was lovely to look at and I stood admiring it when I look into the second Ivy archway and see a giant mole?rat?the size of a man standing upright. I wasn't frightened at all and shouted to my hubby to come and look at it. He didn't want to so as I walked towards it I saw the most beautiful coloured feathers as a tail. " your not a rat at all your a COCKATOO" I said to it.
As I walked back into the cottage I looked back and it had moved away and was on a bicycle cycling down the road.

Now I think there is loads in here to interpret but I need a bit of help here.
Points to note....
The double path
The bird
The rat/ mole
The cockatoo.( it didn't even resemble one but that's what I said in my dream)
The bicycle

Bit of info I've said before that I feel my weakness's have been pointed out and recently have been really trying to put myself in other peoples shoes and understand what it may be like for them and why they feel this or do that. Sympathetic is the word.

The night before I did colourful visual exercises . Could this have been why the colour was very vivid?
I used to cut up fruit in the exercise but now I make a ratatouille.
Deep aubergine colour,white inside,red pepper,green pepper, yellow pepper, green courgette, mushroom, onion brown skin white inside

Even if this dream was indicating a negative side to me I don't care.
I loved it . Bit like a child getting a bedtime story and visualising the characters.

Note)
This am was just starting to think of the meaning of the cockatoo when I picked up,
" a Cockatoo steps into the Mystery of Being Unknown."

This would start to make sense, the second path parallel to the one I was walking. The part or parts of me that I don't consciously know but are in the shadow( background) living a parallel life? The cockatoo representing the mystery of these lives.
The bicycle, maybe a need for balance or there is a good balance between the mystery of not knowing and wanting to know.( after all he was riding well on the bicycle) not sure about this last bit.
But then could it have a double meaning,trying to see the beauty ( cockatoo) in something that on the outside doesn't look beautiful?

[susan]

Dream
I'm naked. My mother is with me and she is driving the car taking me to work but I have no clothes on.
We are now in a room and she is happy to see me . We haven't seen each other for a while.( to set the record straight I do not for one second believe this Was my beautiful much missed physical mother who died a few years ago )
She greets me happy to see me and kisses me .
The whole time I am aware that I am naked.

Taken from only book I use. Betty Berthards.....The dream book

Nude. Totally open and exposed not hiding who or what you are totally exposed.good symbology.
Mother. Usually represents older wiser more experienced part of female self

[susan]

Dream
Yesterday I'm watching a dolphin swim in the water and it swims up to me out of the water and just looks at me.
Dream
This morning I'm holding a baby and go to blow on its stomach for fun and it bends down to give me a kiss and has a lovely smile.it was lovely.we repeated this.

[susan]

Dream.
Prior to dream no energy work performed and no thoughts of spiritual matters. Too much needing attention in physical at moment, but this was lovely.
I'm with a group of friends and we are in a large circle.I cann't remember what we were doing but there were other people in other circles. My friends now leave me and I have to guard this circle on my own but I start to think that this circle has moved position.There is a little cubby hole within circle where there's a plate of sweets to help ourselves to.
Friends come back to reassure me it's in the same position . We are the end circle positioned with 5 others all in a large courtyard in front of a castle that has a tower on the end. ( I took this to be a look out post)
Now we are leaving. This feels like end of term. We walk through a door into what is like a cloakroom where you would collect your coat. ( this was the same area that started my Harry Potter type dream months ago, but this time I'm leaving through the door where as before I walked through it to a corridor) I recognised it in my dream.
Someone behind the desk talks about no contamination allowed beyond this point.
Now I'm sitting in an aircraft with someone opposite me. I'm looking out of the window and the whole sky is covered in what looks like a net made of white feathers. In the dream I'm thinking they are Angel Feathers ( even though in physical I do not have the belief of feathered ,winged angels)
There is a hole in the covering and as I watch I see a similar feather fly up and fill up the hole.
In the dream I just knew that this completed the blanket of protection.
Someone was saying good bye. I picked up
I leave you with wishes of happiness and caution.

[susan]

A few small dreams but I think they are about protection.
1) I'm travelling with friends in a tall bus going up a very very steep hill. When we are getting to our hotel I've discovered I'm the only one who hasn't brought anything with me for changing into .
( unprepared)
2) 3 dark animals different sizes running in same direction. A big one pounced on another but seemed to turn into a man and struggled to cut its tongue out. I'm standing with someone watching this in horror as it happens.
I woke up with a start after this one . It frightened me.
After asking for clarification for meaning,
3) I approach my mother who is in the corner of the kitchen and reluctantly tell her of my experiences and I turn the radio down so I can be heard and she displays 2 red flags in the corner of the ceiling.
Thoughts .
Previous mornings dream was lovely but left me with words of caution and happiness.
Protection with the feathers , the tower was a look out post, I was alone guarding the circle.
This morning frightened me with the three animals, I've still got a lump in my throat.
I've been taught nothing can harm me, but I suppose the fear issue can happen.
Could this be more of a warning to protect myself from unwelcome spirit voices as my Clair's are improving?( turning the radio down)
I don't understand why when I've mostly had lovely experiences. Why should it change when my emotional stability hasn't?


It seems now on reflection that the issue may have been me eating meat. As Ia56 points out that man still hunts animals and kill them and eats them. This links into July 2014 post.

[IA56]

A few small dreams but I think they are about protection.
1) I'm travelling with friends in a tall bus going up a very very steep hill. When we are getting to our hotel I've discovered I'm the only one who hasn't brought anything with me for changing into .
( unprepared)
2) 3 dark animals different sizes running in same direction. A big one pounced on another but seemed to turn into a man and struggled to cut its tongue out. I'm standing with someone watching this in horror as it happens.
I woke up with a start after this one . It frightened me.
After asking for clarification for meaning,
3) I approach my mother who is in the corner of the kitchen and reluctantly tell her of my experiences and I turn the radio down so I can be heard and she displays 2 red flags in the corner of the ceiling.
Thoughts .
Previous mornings dream was lovely but left me with words of caution and happiness.
Protection with the feathers , the tower was a look out post, I was alone guarding the circle.
This morning frightened me with the three animals, I've still got a lump in my throat.
I've been taught nothing can harm me, but I suppose the fear issue can happen.
Could this be more of a warning to protect myself from unwelcome spirit voices as my Clair's are improving?( turning the radio down)
I don't understand why when I've mostly had lovely experiences. Why should it change when my emotional stability hasn't?

Hi Susan,
When we develop the Deep buried impulses of karma what has to be dealted with starts to Surface when you have gained stability and strength to take care of it...so you have reached a new level so to speak.
The only thing what is sure is change, evolution does not let us to lie on our leurels too long :-)

Love
ia

[susan]

Thanks IA, well I hope I'm prepared enough for any challenges that crop up in physical. I suppose throughout my life I've had challenges and how they were accepted and worked out at the time made them easy to get through.
Note for journal,
Asked for clarification of meaning of previous dream that frightened me where the animal turned into a man and attacked other animal. Was killing it.
Dreamt.
Was with a group of friends along a big motorway when in the distance down a steep hill there seemed to be a massive pile up of cars and can see ambulances. As we look over the top of the hill there is a dead body lying on the road that the paramedics are going to.
End.
So this wasn't frightening as much but death was the key point.
I've got so used to death scenes if I took it literally I'd have topped myself by now.

[IA56]

Thanks IA, well I hope I'm prepared enough for any challenges that crop up in physical. I suppose throughout my life I've had challenges and how they were accepted and worked out at the time made them easy to get through.
Note for journal,
Asked for clarification of meaning of previous dream that frightened me where the animal turned into a man and attacked other animal. Was killing it.
Dreamt.
Was with a group of friends along a big motorway when in the distance down a steep hill there seemed to be a massive pile up of cars and can see ambulances. As we look over the top of the hill there is a dead body lying on the road that the paramedics are going to.
End.
So this wasn't frightening as much but death was the key point.
I've got so used to death scenes if I took it literally I'd have topped myself by now.

Hi Susan,
Well you must prepear you as well as you can...focus...and not loose your self into the event.

As I see this animal turning into a man...you was shown the transformation...but still that man (human) hunt´s animals because he still are so much animal inside of him...not yet a real human. A real human does know that animals also has soul.

Yes, you have bean given a good opportunity in this Life to be near Death...you should study the Tibetian book of Death.
To get deeper grip of the process of Death, so you can die consiously.

Love
ia

[susan]

I'm so pleased and excited.
I had another projection last night but I went out through the brow area ,with no sign of body but could feel it.
In the past I've either worked on energy body and left from legs loosening first or full body and been aware of having a body,or sometimes viewed Clairvoyantly feeling that I was still in body but this was so different. ( only once I looked into brow and moved to a height above bedroom door viewing hologram of young boy ) but somehow this seemed different.

OBE.
Was woken up 4am with an internal door bell. Wondered about this and did little energy work but couldn't settle for long.
About 1 hour later still awake but dozy saw flickering in eyelids so concentrated hard to see what comes.
By surprise it was as if I was being pulled up through the brow out of body. I was turning then going forwards. At no stage did I see my bedroom.I'm still turning slowly and forwards when in front of me I see colours and in the distance it looks like a bar with lights on and all the colourful bottles behind the bar but now I'm travelling away from it and down and backwards and turning. This was like going into a dark cellar made with iron structures. I've had this last scene before a couple of times. I just knew this was a lesson and yes it was. The thing was I was feeling excited because I knew I had exited through the brow and could feel the movement in my body but couldn't see body.
The scene was dark and dingy so a little apprehension stepped in but I quickly binned that incase I created my own fearful animal or monster, then just as I turned my friends arrived. The swarm of yellow flies. Had then a couple of times before .they were all over me but I knew they couldn't harm me so stayed with it.
They were in my mouth, I could feel them, on my arms,face , but the whole time I had mixed feelings from apprehension,determination not to give in, excitement because I couldn't see my body but could feel the flys but then cowardly I decided I'd had enough.
Woke up recalled everything then back to sleep. Woke up to seeing me being hosed down, ( according to book cleansing of some sort) but also the first thing I saw was a dirty white towel hanging up on a wall and I seem to be focusing close up on the soiled area.

Thoughts
These yellow flies had first appeared when I was being tested for Fear. The flies, ugly spiked haired faces,the flies again when I was in Real Time Zone in bedroom and at the end I saw a presence next to me.
I thought I was over this when I had the trip to what I perceived as the space station. It had helped me stay calm.
Why have the flies come back again ?
Don't care I'll take whatever is thrown at me I can always chicken out and back to body.
Just loved it

[susan]

Prior to this last OBE had remembered being in a false looking environment. Just white space all around, no scenery but people were walking on their own with big cameras taking close ups of anything. I just watch them wondering why they are taking close ups of a puddle, the sky, a leaf. In the dream I'm trying to work out why?
Awake, pondered over this and decided that I'm not focusing enough on the brow area , I need to try harder to stay focused.
The result was the above OBE ( even though it happened a little later.)
This morning woke up from a scene where a dream character is saying that he needs to LOOK. Now this was the wrong word.it should have been To Say Sorry. I just knew this word didn't fit into my dream so decided to look into brow area closely and saw flickering in eyelids then a dove flying around. There was no colour other than black background and white dove. Lasted about 30 seconds. Tried to re create this again but couldn't.
What I have to remember is how Robert describes images you can create yourself with third eye and build and take apart with thought. Maybe I wanted to see something and created this because I was still in the liminal stage.
I don't think so but I have to remind myself here that I may have.

[susan]

Think I was becoming lucid in a a dream but missed out.
But first no energy exercises through the night recently. Too tired mentally. If someone was to write a list of all attributes required to evolve spiritualy ( strength,leadership,compassion,understanding, sacrifice, ) then boy am I trying hard to succeed. This is only a temporary set back which will only last another few weeks then back to normal. I think my first dream was about this .
Woke up 4 am looking at vision of the screen of an I pad with a coloured margin running across the top flashing up with two snakes crawling across.( this was like when a message has been received through I cloud and it flashes up to let you know)

Back to sleep recalling two dreams.
1) I,m looking into a mirror and piling the make-up on really thick, too thick. A man comes to the door of my room whilst I'm trying to blend it in. He's a doctor,my old tutor and he's wondering if there's anything I want to ask him. It's come to his attention that some pupils may need some help in certain areas, is there anything I would like him to show me?
Now this is where I may have been becoming lucid in the dream because I was thinking that I could ask him what I had asked him in a previous dream( that I felt I had been thrown in at the deep end and needed to be shown how to do certain procedures) .
So whilst dreaming I was remembering the contents of a previous dream.

2) I'm in a jungle type garden and see a big fat snake in the distance. I go to tell 2 people about it. I ask if it's dangerous, they say no but they need to catch it. I just stand there watching as they chase it through the trees when they tell me to look. This was funny.
The snake had stopped by a tree trunk and was resting sitting up enjoying the sunshine that was beaming down on it.
Dream is finished with men chasing it again as it comes towards me.
( I think if I had done some colourful exercises of fruit cutting or the ratatouille this could have resulted in a very colourful dream)

[susan]

2 mornings in a row I have been taken by surprise upon wakening and wanted to laugh out loud.
But first at present had decided now is not a good time to do any energy work with the intention of projecting until things in physical are back to normal.
( Currently a member living in house has a medical condition which can and will soon be put right in a few weeks but it is causing a lot of sadness, worry and the feeling of helplessness on his part. All I can do is look after him, understand what he is going through and be there for him but it is bringing me down too which is the last thing I want .)

So early am after wakening decided not to attempt any type of energy raising till this was over. Went back to sleep feeling quit sad at everything. Woke up with a jolt again and immediately saw a funny vision involving cannon balls being fired through the chest of someone. There was more but this was so funny I nearly laughed out loud.
I just knew this was clearly that I should keep up the NEWS .( I know this is affective for me)
Recalled dream which had nothing to do with this.

This am woke up with a jolt again. I again was almost laughing out loud, this was brilliant. Like being on a roller coaster ride but it was a ferry with no water and the driver was speeding along in control around bends, down hill up hill, sideways. In the dream I boarded the ferry with friends but we were having such fun and laughing I felt the same when I woke up. I willed myself to go back to sleep but couldn't but I still felt the excitement from the ride.

So ,two mornings in a row going to bed sad and wakening up laughing and happy. So trying to sort this one out.

THOUGHTS.
Robert Bruce refers to. ' Astral Bob' .

We are thought to be ' multidimensional'

Drew's beautiful writing on the soul, ' the qualities of the soul are used where ever they happen to fit in'

The mind split- mentioning again when I saw myself and we were both the same thoughts but she communicated to me a message to go to sleep.

We try to raise our vibration and awareness to experience a loving experience,( connecting to our soul that exists on a higher vibration)

So recently I've been sad so it could be said that what I needed was a bit of fun as well as guidance

Michael Newton reckons only a percentage of our soul/ essence leaves to come back to physical.

I am a part of my soul which is why as I was getting closer to connecting I picked up such as KINSHI ( Japanese) ....ASHRAM..multiple lives lived all part of the bigger bit I've come from.

But even upon death I/ We still need to grow to get even closer to a more evolved and loving part of our soul.
It is 'nt obvious, it's absolutely confusing but some kind of understanding may be forming but in the meantime before I change my mind to a different way of thinking for the last two nights...

Astral Sue and I linked up and had fun because that was what I needed.

[susan]

OBE
I think this one turned into a dream due to my tiredness and wishful thinking but it still started as an OBE through the brow again.
Woke up seeing a vision which I'm getting used to now. They are different every time but clearly give me a bit of a shock and have to do with the brow area. I know now to concentrate on the brow but this time I was really tired . Went with it and just stared into brow when I felt movement leaving up through brow. Was thinking that maybe my physical eyes were slightly open as slight light was detected. Husband puts his hand on my arm.
Back to body!
Went back to sleep. Very restless, too hot. Woke up to another vision suggesting the same. Reluctantly went with it again. Very quickly I'm up again, sense movement, no light this time. Once again the yellow flies came and were in my mouth. This didn't bother me but I wasn't expecting them and they didn't last long. I don't know why I got them .
Now I think this may have been me falling asleep now

I'm standing in front of a square table with seating around like in a cafe/diner. A man is sitting to the right of me and a woman is standing to the left of me. I remember saying. " can someone tell me who I am" . I look at the woman and she is small plumpish with dark hair high in a beehive. I'm thinking at the time that she looks Japanese. I'm now sitting facing the man as he says
" We know who you are" .
That's all I remember of that bit and just wondered what time it was when I saw an image of my old watch reading 6.30.
Looked at digital clock .It was 6.32

Dream
Yesterday morning dreamt I was entering the ferry but it was flat on the bottom and half just sitting on the land. As I went inside there were different sections to it but when I went to the other side of the ferry choppy sea was all around but I felt safe because I knew it was really on land.
I was with people but I went up to a man holding a small box that I think had a wedding ring in it. I remember giving it to him and saying " I didn't turn up on the day I should have. I'm so sorry" .
End of dream
( went shopping yesterday . Tested myself to how much it would cost . Wrote on shopping list £ 164. It came to £ 162.)
Not important piece of info just want to record for journal the intuitive part. Both clock and shopping but 2 out.

[susan]

Dream.
This was like a training exercise.
I'm with a woman instructor I felt represented the Navy. We went to a large navy ship and I was to fly high up in the sky above the sea and she was showing how the ship would move to position underneath me.
I'm high up watching the ship spin round and round getting faster and faster. This was like watching a child's spinning top and as the ship spun to an incredible speed it moved along the water getting closer underneath me. At no time did I feel I was falling, more like the ship was getting higher and higher meeting me at the end. As I landed on the deck I could see over the side and it was still in the water but was high up like looking down from a sky scraper.
I finished by entering a room where some people I vaguely knew were waiting for their turn and was telling them how amazing the speed was and how I'd never seen anything like that before.
End of dream.
A note.
2 days ago all I remember of a dream was a woman telling me that it depends how fast the spinning is as to how high the ship stretches above the water.
Key points seem to be
Travel, increasing rotation for movement, landing on target, bringing target closer?...

[eyeoneblack]

A spinning chakra. Now if I could only remember how the elements relate to the chakras? I'll look it up after my coffee. :)

[CFTraveler]

bottom earth, then water, middle moon/air, and higher sun/fire/and highest akasha. You're welcome.

[eyeoneblack]

Well, Susan, I dusted off my I-Ching and fell on this just by coincidence):

(I didn't throw the coins, was just getting ready to.)

#43 Kuai / Break-through
When the water of a lake has risen up to heaven, there is reason to fear a cloudburst. Taking this as a warning, the superior man forestalls a violent collapse. If a man were to pile up riches for himself alone, without considering others, he would certainly experience a collapse. For all gathering is followed by dispersion. Therefore the superior man begins to distribute while he is accumulating. In the same way, in developing his character he takes care not to become hardened in obstinacy but to remain receptive to impressions by help of strict and continuous self-examination.

I don't know. Sounded relevant, perhaps. :)

[susan]

I've just experienced TWO ASTRAL ARMS AND HANDS underneath me trying to lift me out.
This was fantastic and I'm on cloud cuckoo land.
I was restless because I'd pulled a heavy bed cover up and was far too hot. Shoved it off and was lying on my side trying to cool down. My thoughts went to an email I had sent in French to my sister just trying to show off that I could also do a bit. Mind now slowing down when I sent out a thought to the spirit world to please stay working with me . Within only a minute I hear a slight buzzing noise, I recognised it as astral noise but this surprised me because it had come on so soon. The noise remained and I tried to pull myself up but got nowhere. I hadn't been doing any energy work so had no energy sensations to try to increase.

Next thing two hands and arms tucked underneath my waist and gently tried to raise me. I was excited saying to myself " I can feel hands underneath me, I'm being helped out , I can feel you" . The attempt failed and the hands slipped away. Not knowing what to do next tried to silence mind again and relax when it happened again. The buzzing, slight feeling of raising and arms tucked underneath me again. At the same time I could feel my husbands leg touching mine but could also feel the astral hands. No success again. This happened three times when on the last attempt thinking it might work I focused on the brow area just incase there was anything to see if I did get out and just saw a single eye as if from a long distance. This I've had before usually just before a really good event. This was like a human eye with eyelid and skin underneath.
After third attempt the hands slipped away and I was so excited I knew I was too awake for anything else.
I'm just delighted I didn't freak out . I've proved for myself that a lot of my experiences have been directed from the other side and I've been taken rather just dreaming. They really are working with me .( although I knew anyway)

Oh by the way Richard, love the new look.
I don't know about your find above. I am currently preparing to pay for a private op for hubby if NHS keep him waiting any longer.
When I was 30 ,heavily pregnant with second child my husbands business went into liquidation and we lost our home, savings,income and were left in debt. But I knew then that I had the most important things in life. A beautiful family, another on the way, we all had good health and a closeness to get us through this and we did . So what I'm saying is i've gone through the losing everything bit and came out ♥♥♥♥♥s because I got my priorities right. Fast forward to now and I've worked hard for everything .
I don't care what's thrown at me . I can handle it again ,and I'm waiting just incase ( but I have a feeling not)
Anyway, knowing that I've got the other side close I'm sure things will be okay,
Thanks anyway and you've been right before so I'm prepared.

[susan]

2 OBEs approx 20mins apart.
4.20. Visited bathroom, drank water, settled down. Recalled dream. To do with everyday life. Nothing needing to remember. Although I'd previously decided not to do any energy raising for a bit after the last event with the hands I decided just a little feet circling.
Very quickly I'm aware my legs are floating and rotating. Started to rise,no noise, no vision but felt movement.back in body, non eventful.

Lay still, silenced mind and again very quickly and feeling very alert my legs were floating above body and rotating a lot.
Rose up and then seemed to be travelling sideways.still no vision when soon snowy speckles like a television screen searching for channels started to appear. Shapes started to take form.
Then three men formed walking briskly at the side of me. I was floating sideways and they were walking keeping up with me.
I was wondering why they were walking ? Who they were?. I got excited and could hear myself say " I can see you ,I can see all three of you!" At that the man nearest to me raised his arm and gave me a wave.
Immediately I was back in body with a heavy thump. Could feel energy surge up my body.

Comments.
Last few days have been feeling slight pressure on top of head as if I've been sleeping with my hand pressing on head.
Although delighted with this a bit disappointed with only black and white, and the fact that no faces were seen . Only from the neck downwards but I think this was meant.
I'll be honest here I did feel a little apprehensive when I realised what was forming next to me and I didn't know what was coming but then the excitement set in. on reflection BRILLIANT. More please!

[susan]

2x dreams within the same sleep period.
First I see myself with friends in a speedboat travelling backwards fast zig zagging and really having fun.
( this is the second time a boat has been involved travelling really fast with friends and having great fun,although the first time the ferry was not on water.
1st dream,
I'm swimming comfortably under water( not needing to breath) following a pregnant ( now that's a surprise) Otter.
The otter swims up to a pillow under water and lays on it to rest.
I swim up and put my head on the pillow next to the otter.
A man swims up and puts his head on the pillow and gives me a gentle kiss.
End of dream ( how sweet)

2nd dream.
I've been told I can move to a bigger and better house and can choose which one I want. My friends were going to follow me whichever house I chose. My problem was that the house I preferred was the house THEY were already living in which meant that if I chose that one then they would miss the opportunity of moving themselves to a better house.
( maybe this last one is to do with an important decision I have just made in physical that will effect someone else. In other words ' Its all up to me')

[susan]

Time to get back on track, with a new challenge.
But first ---- coming to an end of a very challenging mental and physical short period in life. Things nearly back to normal in physical so woke up a few days ago to

" try again on Friday at 2"
Yesterday,up at 4am, hospital with hubby by 7am . Back home by 12.30. I was starting work at 3.15pm . By 2 pm hubby suggests I go upstairs to rest for a while. Decided to listen to my binaural beats . Set alarm when I realised it was Friday 2pm.

Dream this morning was to do with characters in dream rushing around and in a tizzy . In the dream I'm telling them to just listen and slow down.
The dream made sense.
Got back to trying to silence mind when I thought? heard? what was like a tiny voice say

" AKEO"
" I know a friend who lives in a sky scraper"
" Your challenge is to Listen"
" To be kind"
In this journal AKEO is mentioned over a number of days of writing.
The spinning ship reaching up to me and I feel it's like a sky scraper, mentioned recently.
Recently I've felt I have been encouraged to look into the brow a lot more so being encouraged with listening more I feel sure is to do with my development rather than physical life. Not sure if I should put the binaurals on hold for a while.

[susan]

I think I know who the astral hands and arms belonged to the on 7 th March post. An unknown part of ME.
OBE this am.
But first had a very grounded day with plenty of laughter with family. Felt very grounded and normality settling back in.
Slept fine till 5.30. Woke up, trying to get back to sleep when I got a flash of tiny bubbles all in a line going up and down . Wondered if this was meaning to do energy work ,bringing in from the crown and all the way to feet so decided to do a little.
Silenced the mind and waited when very soon ( again) I'm moving. No astral noise but the wobbly jelly feeling and I knew I was raising up high. Could only see grey/ white. I wondered if my physical eyes were slightly open as it seemed like looking through half closed eyes.
I knew I was on my back and instead of wanting to take control and turn I just went with it to see where I would end up.
I could then see a hand to the left of me as if holding me from behind by my shoulders. My first thought was that this was my hand but I was aware of my arms to the side of me. The hand was translucent and it was a left hand . On it's 4 th finger was a wedding ring.I looked at the ring and realised this was MY old wedding ring .I could see the pattern on it . The yellow gold I traded in for a white gold ring. I said " I can see your hand" A little wave was given with the fingers. I could remember the excitement from the other day when I got a wave of acknowledgement from the man.
Next thing everything is colourful and I'm floating down onto the floor. A lot of people around busy. This looked like the large back stage of a theatre where people were in different costumes. They didn't look like cartoons, they had human form but all had some kind of strange clothing, even one had a strange face a bit like out of something from Star Trek. They were smiling and happy and one small guy came up to me and said "hello" . I felt I was to follow him and we headed towards a large opening leading outside. At this stage I needed to interact with them so I put my hand forward and took his hand. I heard him say " oh good" .This was where there
were a lot of people coming in from. Outside this looked like a beach area with a wide road in front. He was leading me forwards across the road when I wondered why we were walking when we could fly so I lifted off the ground , not high, when he pulled me back .
He told it was not right to do this, it wasn't polite , but they could later. A strange looking vehicle came towards us on the road and passed. As we walked over the road everything faded and whether I fell asleep or woke up then I don't know, but that was it.

Thoughts.
If I had just posted this as a lucid dream then I feel it would be more believable, but then a lucid dream may be considered as an OBE without the exit memory.
So I have to think what this was all about? Did I gain anything?
I truly feel I was meant to see the ring. I feel this was helping me with the mystery of " being unknown" as previously told. I'd been trying to work out the other part(s) that I belong to . This was spirit with a separate body associated with me by the ring.
This all reads back as sounding crazy, and I can understand that the more complex things become the more you could become silent and not want to tell anyone for fear of reaction.
I'm not going to call this part of me 'astral sue' because that name is this life's name. I don't know what name to use other than I believe this was a wiser bigger part of what I am part of that I don't remember in waking life and he/ she was taking me somewhere in the astral either just for a bit of interaction with characters whilst being very lucid or maybe something I haven't thought of yet.

[susan]

OBE.
I decided a few days ago not to write this one up because once again it would have read as crazy but there has been a positive result from the experience.
Same kind of start to the OBE, jelly wobbly feeling again after doing feet circling, raising up and this time I'm in my bedroom still . I was thinking and aware this was Real Time Zone. I'm moving backwards and forwards, to the cupboards, to the window, to the bed as if being taken when I saw a shadow move from the door along the corridor to the bathroom. Wondering if this was my husband up I looked at the bed and could visualise a shape so knew it was him. Then a shadow figure came and gave me a thought that he wanted to see me. I was moving along the corridor to the bathroom and entered when I saw 2 people.
A man, dark skin 30 is wearing trousers and shirt. A woman small, dark skin to the side of him and me.
I swear they were as clear to look at as my desk and I pad with its pink covering is that I'm looking at now.
He said something to me that I didn't understand. I heard his voice speaking.He put earphones into my ears and I got a thought of a radio tuning in with some difficulty. I got a thought from the woman .she said " I know your mother. She is a kind person"
Things faded and it was over.
Thoughts.
I presume these were imaginary characters for my benefit . Could say a message in a dream but once again going through the process of leaving body and staying aware and very lucid the whole time.
I know I am asking every night for the spirit world to teach me everything I am allowed to learn, to work with me.
So communication could be better maybe, still some difficulty but I have been getting a bit bored with the binaural beats I use and have recently been getting singing when waking up seeing a pair of hands again in the prayer position .
Day after woke up to the end of a dream with music. I was searching for something and finally had found it.I look to the bottom of a river and see two long silver snakes crossed over. This was what I was looking for I had found them and needed to take them.At the same time I heard music being played. It was beautiful. The rhyth was slow and up and down .I just loved it.
Lay in bed listening to the tune then it faded.
Yesterday spent the day as a visitor at a buddist week-end retreat for meditation.
Shirab, the young man taking the prayers just oozed calmness, tranquility, serenity and joy.he was a pleasure to listen to.
Then music started up and everyone started to sing.
IT WAS THE SAME MUSIC.
I fell on love with it.how wonderful to be listening to this with words added .
I found out it can be bought from. Tharpa.com and is called ' Prayers For World Peace'
( they seemed a little surprised that I hadn't heard it before as they use it all the time but it had been about 5 years since attending buddist teachings.
Bought a visualisation cd with just talking on to try, and going to get the world peace cd.
I just felt I was missing something and was being urged to try even harder to raise vibration.

This morning woke up to seeing behind closed eyelids a white deer standing in the middle of a field with white wings on ( how sweet)

[susan]

Dream
Prior to going to bed no thoughts of father or mother who passed over a few years ago. No prayers , no energy work just sleep.
I dreamt I was upstairs in my house in my bedroom when different kinds of dogs kept coming into my room running around and I'm thinking just how many dogs do I have to look after when ,
Someone pops their head around the door and tells me I'm wanted downstairs. I'm wanted on the phone. Reluctantly I Float downstairs, along the passage into the kitchen where the person who called me is standing grinning. I can now see a family member ( who is still alive) by the window smiling at me . Then I see a man with his back to me with a green jumper on. I zoom over to this person trying to work out who I was looking at . The jumper was my fathers. He is bending over the bench the way he would have done , he turns found and it was him. I remember shouting " OMG OMG OMG. It's you dad!" He smiled and we hugged and started to float up towards the ceiling.

Thoughts.
I'm sure this was not my father because.......
1) the family member who is still alive was present.
2) the main reason is because even though I was so shocked I had no feelings of love which should have been there.
I'm only recording this here because it is the first time I've dreamt of meeting either of my parents and as much as we loved each other dearly I have learnt to let them go .
So just a dream but a bit of a surprise.

I need to correct this.
I once dreamt of my mother coming out of our family house giving me a bag of sugar and asking if the Lucozade had arrived, or something like that the very next day I was a bit hypo and needed to lie down as I was too weak. So on this occasion her appearance was used to get a message across.

[susan]

Just come home and decided to still use my binaural beat music till I get the one I want to try downloaded.
It's gone! It's gone from my I pad music section and gone from my I phone music section. Everything else is still there except this one and I've used it every day for ages. I know I'm ready for a change but this is crazy.

[susan]

Woke up to a beautiful sketching of a female face .
After settling down after my main sleep did a little energy work with a little request for help to do some heavy physical work required by me over Easter.

Woke up aware that I had just woken and I could see the snowy speckled screen in the brow area. Decided quickly not to recall dream or open eyes , just focus on this speckled area.
A lovely face appeared but it was black and white and was like a fine sketched drawing of a beautiful female. She had long wavy hair to her shoulders and her head was moving . She smiled and gave a quick wink and was gone.
Beautiful

[susan]

Dream
I'm in an airport terminal with a lot of people. Someone is with me . So crowded. Very glamorous female air crew are walking around like cat walk models holding departure numbers for people's attention.
Bob Geldof is in charge. Everyone is up dancing. When he stops the music people go up to get winter black coats from him for the journey. I am sitting down waiting for the music to stop to go up next for my coat.( bit like waiting for your seat number to be called out) music stops but he announces that's it. Finished. But I haven't got a coat.
My friend comes over to me and tells me they have a coat for me . " It isn't black it's green, do you like green?" I'm pleased because it's my favourite colour. ( I do love the colour green)
I then got an impression of much activity going on behind the scene whilst I had been asleep at the airport. People rushing around doing jobs.
This mornings dream very short and strange.
I walk into a room with someone where in the corner is an Indian lady in a lovely blue satin long dress on. She is getting married. I watch as a female approaches and kisses her on her lips saying she must do this because it is tradition. She then takes a photo of her.
I seem to be having 2or 3 dreams where a kiss is involved.

Few days ago..dream
A man walks through an opened door and hands me a present. It's wrapped up in cellophane like fancy big Easter Eggs might be. This was an Easter Present. I walk away looking at it as I'm holding it . It contained just one white sandal.in the dream I'm wondering why he would give me just one sandal .

[susan]

Yesterday body aching and feeling rubbish ( is the polite word) after 3 days full of heavy manual work that had to be done. Recalled a dream which was suggesting that I'd crashed my body. So of course they are my own thoughts anyway taking shape in a dream.
Decided the whole of Monday will be a rest day . Shopping nothing else. Just dozing back off again when I saw a four pointed shape within a circle starting to spin. It then introduced colour. Blue circle with yellow pointed shape inside. Knew immediately this was the front cover of Astral Dynamics book in my cupboard I hadn't looked at for long time.
Okay, so was this a suggestion to do some energy work.? Too tired but decided I may do an hours NEWS in the afternoon. Then I saw a square take form and the number 4 inside it. 4 hours NEWS! Flip that's a bit excessive for me.
So 2pm, shopping done,still aching over body settled to start energy raising. Just bouncing ball, brushing, circling,bringing energy up and down.( a little extra I throw in is to imagine I'm at the bottom of a tea cup and someone is stirring the tea with a spoon, just a quick way of stimulating energy.) approx 3hours done and must have dozed off waking up four hours from when I started.
Saw a massive ship right in front of me, picked up " the heart chakra is open" .

Great! No aches or pains, felt refreshed, walking straight again. Just what the doctor ordered.

At a later date I realised 4 is the fourth chakra . As noted previously often signs can have double meaning.

[susan]

OBE
I have a feeling tests are going to get more ( frightening) testing. Just had the biggest one yet.

3.15 break to bathroom and drink. Back to bed and settled.
Just dozing off when a short scene started.
A very old character from a soap opera was lying on a floor with her eyes open and blood coming from her head. 3 men came in through a door as if to rescue her when she got up smiling saying .' So it looks I'm not dead after all.
This is my communication message about energy loss. A while ago I learnt that wherever the blood loss was from , this was an indication of energy needed to be worked on in that area / or concentrate on that area. Usually bleeding feet or bleeding head.
So with this knowlege I did a little all over NEWS but the about 15 mins brow area.
Decide now to just look , silence mind and listen, and wait. I was expecting some visions if I could stay awake.... But..

The loud engine sound astral noise started and to my surprise I'm raising slowly up through the roof, slowly above trees and houses.
Going higher and higher and higher, noise getting louder,had 360 vision so could see things getting smaller and smaller.
Then movement stopped and in a flash realisation set in. I'm massively high up in the atmosphere on my back, having been brought here and nothing is happening . Something is going to happen here this has to be a test of some sort. There's only one way down!

I plummeted at an incredible speed to the ground and could feel this. Nothing can harm me here but the noise in my head was like standing next to a rocket taking off. 2-3 seconds and trees are getting closer. I knew I was heading Under Ground so just in time decided no vision. I knew when I entered the ground. I could sense a slight pressure against astral body, even a little resistance
Although no vision the darkness seemed a little darker.
After 2-3 seconds the movement sensation seemed to slow down, even the noise lowered a little. Travelling sideways now and vision again just skimming over tops of trees and houses then it ended and I woke.
WOW . That was a corker. What else is in store.
I find it interesting that just the other day I read for the first time a very old post from CFT about warnings for people entering this area of discovery and mentioning the tests you may go through until you learn to handle any fear.
I wonder how many people experience really bad things thinking they are negs when in fact they are tests.
I have a feeling there may be more to come.
Maybe I should have kept my vision open for the full impact, don't know. Maybe next time.
Bring it on!
This morning recalled a dream which in reflection was a hint .
No time to post but will later.

Dream before OBE.
Was in a crowded department store where I worked and needed to go downstairs. Went to stairs but were full of people because the lifts were broken. Very crowded. Someone pulls me to one side and shows me a secret lift I can use that will take me downstairs.

[susan]

Nothing of importance for journal but just thoughts.
Watching Star Wars on telly. Never watch stuff like this but a good quote came up got me thinking.
" your perception is how you create your reality" .
So .....
You see things as not going your way ..... They won't
You think things are out to harm and frighten you ..... They will, negs etc.
You see things as positive .. Okay no wonderful experience but things are good.no major problems.
You take that step further and eliminate anything negative in your thoughts. Distance from negativity. But the important part here is to distance from physical contact with negativity.
So what do you do when something/ someone annoys you with their words.?
Analysis. why did they say that? What response are they expecting? They haven't got it yet ! Let's show them how it's done . With compassion and understanding and dignity.
But my main thoughts here are on our non physical experiences.
Are we just creating our own non physical experiences ?
The more we want to explore non physical reality ....the more we will, because we may feel the need to raise energy and meditate more .
The more contact we want to have with our peers ... We will because we will send out loving thoughts to reach them.
The more people dwell on a problem and who caused it the further away they are from a more peaceful existence, but the closer they become to the problem they have created in their mind.
It IS all the mind in control.

[susan]

Dream.
This was short.
I'm standing in front of a fireplace and disappointed that it's nearly out. The coal has nearly all turned to ash and only a small flame is left. Next I look at it again and the fire surround has completely burnt away and all that's left is a hole in the floor. Everypart of the fireplace has burnt away leaving nothing. Someone comes ( this person I know as a client in physical) in and shows that the fireplace was over at the side and now the brand new fire is standing back where the other had been.
This same person tells me she moved the television from up the tree .
Was awake trying to make sense of the fire but couldn't. Wondered if the second one was to do with me watching too much telly but decided to concentrate on the brow area just incase I was being encouraged to look. Within minutes I heard " Susan look at this" .
I saw myself in bed as if I was viewing myself from above the body. No colour just black and white like an outline of my body. I was aware that my physical body had it's right arm above my head on the pillow and saw this from above. I found myself laughing at how I was lying. Vision disappeared.

[susan]

I've just had a conversation with a spirit calling itself " your INFINATE FATHER" .
This is a term I have never used before and I cann't get it out of my mind. I'm aware that any spirit can pass themselves off as anyone but I have to say that any contact I have had has been helpful, enjoyable , enlightening, and left me feeling safe, not scared.
Leading up to this,
Yesterday evening couldn't watch television. Not interested. Browsed the net and played scrabble but my main thoughts all night were about all the books I've read and the theme they all seem to suggest. From Robert Munroe, kurt Leland , Robert Bruce, Jane Roberts, Bruce Moen, William Bullman, Sai Baba books , Michael Newton.The list goes on and on. But trying to work out just who we are when we pass over and the merging of energies still is far from clear for me . So where do I go from here? Was it to be Franz Bardon or David Carse.
Slept well. Woke about 5.30. Couldn't recall any dream and tried to go back to sleep. 6.15 woke up and recalled looking at a bird on a wall unaware that there was a bigger bird hovering above it trying to get its attention. It used its beak to pick it up by its feathers and flew away with it , cradling it.
Did little energy work on feet but went back to sleep. Woke up a little alarmed and put my hand to my chin to see if I could feel any stubble. I had been looking at myself in a mirror and saw facial hair on the chin and upper lip. I can clearly recall the face .
This kept me awake for a bit and finally wondered if it would be worth thinking out my thoughts to see if I would get any response.( after all the big bird was trying to get the little birds attention) . After a while it started.

I saw I was being given a child's birthday card and it had obviously been drawn by a child and had a drawing of a big elephant on filled in in pink.
Heard. " Tomorrow"

I repeated my question about which book to read out of the two mentioned to progress further.?

I saw a CD .
Heard. " both, a bit at a time."

I repeated my struggle to understand things better.

Heard. " you will in time"

My legs were now floating above my body and I felt two hands under my legs trying to lift up but unsuccessful.( I was aware that my husbands legs were on top of mine. ( could this have been a problem?.Was I going to be taken somewhere? )

Heard. " it's good we can communicate like this"

I asked. "Who is this"?

I heard. INFINATE FATHER.

Gone, fully awake now just fixed on this last bit. I know I wouldn't use that terminology.

Thoughts.
This was definately an energy displaying a stronger male side. The words I got sounded a lower tone to the feminine ,softer, more chatty voice I've picked up in the past.
I've learnt not to focus on a time frame, so tomorrow means nothing . ( apart from bringing the monkey to the room for 8am and I had the aborted OBE at the exact time, followed later by the hologram of a young boy in period costume)
Could this have been A guide ?, A teacher?, A part of what I am part of and belong to with a more male presence ?,
Or could this have been an imposter, pretending to be someone connected to me?
I don't know but those two last words have me thinking.

I need to add a note here for journal .
Had such plans for today but did none. Extreme energy loss. Feeling exhausted all day. Just want to sleep but didn't. So tired.
Heavy feeling in forehead . ( but then the rape seed fields are out in full, no other symptoms .took an anti histamine.) Still heavy feeling in forehead.
When I had serious thoughts in my head about these other parts of me I felt such love build up inside me.this is recorded in journal.
This one left me with exhaustion . Will not put any decisions on this .


Time now to put an understanding to this after more experiences.
I believe this was a part of me but more advanced, more masculine side. ( this definitely had a more masculine feel and tone than the more softer female side )

[susan]

2 OBEs

Very unexpected. Checked clock at 7.15am. No energy work , tried to get back to sleep when I feel a sudden movement from inside my body and I'm going higher and higher and fast. I turn sideways, down, up ,backwards. I'm thinking " wow didn't expect this, I'm hardly asleep" .Couldn't see anything but without doubt was moving in defined angles. If you got a pencil and drew lines with a ruler in all direction, that would be it . Not twirls. Concentrated on brow( had forgotten to) . Real time zone I think, everything so fast skimming along the side if a wall then thump back to body. Time was 7.30. This had all happened within 15 mins of checking clock.

Really pleased at going out unexpected settled back when within minutes it happens again. Now this was really great because I had put no effort into it. Same type of movement. Very poor visibility, just hazy, snowy speckled but then saw some figures( I think animals) . Decided to try changing direction but felt resistance. Couldn't so put more speed into it when shooting upwards I'm suddenly in black space. Far in the distance I could see stars. I then see ( me) in front . I say me because with 360 vision this may have been me looking at myself? Or not? But I saw a light translucent whitish/ sparkly outline of ( me?)
Then I see golden coloured snowflakes in the distance. Either they came towards me because I wanted a closer look or I went towards them, but they were beautiful. Just like the flat ones I put on my Christmas tree. Thinking this at time then down back to body with no wish to. My time was up. Time 8.00 am.
Just love it but think I have to work more maybe on colour exercises for brow although I saw the gold colour.

[susan]

I need to record here for the journal that last night was not a nice dream .
For the record --- very content in everyday life. In fact have re- arranged work load to give me more time to find myself / ourselves
to understand more fully. I need to remind myself when re- reading this journal that I can not think of any disturbances that could have created this.
I started to write the dream down but have deleted it.
Reason--- when I re-read journal I do not want to be focusing on subject. Hope to forget !
Important things I think to remember are ........
When the disturbing event was about to happen someone to the left of me whispered in my ear what to do and I did it. It worked .
Further in the story of the dream when another bad issue might have happened with this bad person someone told me what to do ( close the door ) and it left me safe.
The final part of the dream was a taxi driver waiting in a taxi. I am told he is going to interview me to tell me " How many people he has lost??? " I see a zip opening and many puppies come out.
This seems like ( my favourite expression) gobble goop.
The taxi driver reminds me of the early contact with spirit when much humour was involved when on journal I recorded picking up ,
YER TACHI MAN., Which I realised was translated .... Your Taxi Man.
I seem to be having a mixture of beautiful, lovely, exciting, testing, and now not so pleasant experiences.

[susan]

I have re read this and have a thought to its meaning but will wait for further events before adding thoughts to journal.


( adding this bit 5months later and it seems this may have been referring to retrievals. Posted ( page 34, 6/11/14) .
Clearer description of the zip is detailed on page 34.

[susan]

For the record another bad night. Yesterday through the day had one of my most peaceful days. Even stuck to water, fruit and vegetables for body. If anything I would expect a peaceful non eventful sleep.

1) someone massive is trying to catch us. We are on a plane trying to close the door on time. He now opens the window which is layered, he takes it off and another one underneath.

2) I'm faced flat against the inside of a bus window as it goes round corners. I'm frightened it will tip.

3) someone with a cartoon witch like face ( ugly) is being interviewed suspected to be an imposter.

Now I can understand the stories because.
1) spent yesterday cleaning the glass to a disassembled green house with loads of glass. ( can not wait to get it up)
2) Much glass again and tipping over from a bus is one of my old fears from days of travelling in a bus.
3) My quiet reminder in the back of my mind that this ' Infinate Father' could have been misleading and something to forget.mayebe mischievous spirit.

So the topics I can understand but they were frightening. I don't know why especially after the kind of day I had.

[eyeoneblack]

Reads like a 'threshold' dream. The ' cartoon witch' is an imposter; i.e. take off the mask and her beauty will be revealed. The 'green house', though real life, is a wonderful metaphor of care-given growth.

I think I'll build a greenhouse a grow a special cactus. Oh, probably not.