SiriusTraveler
14th November 2012, 09:04 AM
Posted this in my journal but as I am interested in feedback on this I posted it here to.
This really feels as a memory from an adventure in consciousness as in a downloaded memory. My physical waking self interprets the experience more as a dream but this "dream" differs from my usuall dreams in that it was very streamlined, it had context, it followed a direction and it really felt as an adventure and not some symbolic dreamscape with random events followed by another random event. It was extremely vivid and I remember almost everything in the entire "dream" to a degree I almost never do. Also the whole experience I experienced from a first person perspective as it was I myself who was experiencing it.
The first thing I can remember is me waking up to very physical sensations of intense vibrations. If this was when I was physically conscious I can't say for sure but I think so. I kept thinking that I shouldn't be afraid and to just go with the experience. The vibrations faded and I thought "damn, they faded..", but then the rush came again and more intense. The vibrations were extremely physical and teh speed in which it felt I traveled in was very fast too. I tried to stay calm again but I also tried to force the vibrations to increase with my will and when it seemed almost as if I physically tensed up I though I blew it again. I had this thought of a place that I really didn't want to wake up in, as if I was a fraid of it. And this was in an old house I lived in, where I have bad feelings/memories from. I sometimes dream about this house and often I try to overcome fears in that particular place. I guess I calmed down and those thoughts faded away.
The next thing I know I am walking up from my bed with the intention to get something to drink. I am not where I live but in a unfamiliar surrounding with a familiar feel to it. It felt as my fathers house when I lived at home. It did not look like it though. When I came out to the hallway some force suddently pulled me back from where I came from and I immediately knew that I'd had a false awakening.
I thought that this force was some helping/guiding force that wanted me to realize I wasn't in my phyiscal body and I was never afraid of the "force". Now, I never saw my physical body because I never went back to it, it never crossed my mind. Instead I was just totally happy that I was out of my body.
I wanted to get out of the house so I went to the door. As I opened it I thought it was foggy, but the fog cleared away and very vibrant colors appeared on everything. I looked at a butterfly that was huge, I saw a tree, grass and further away I saw buildings. Everything had this slightly animated, pixelated videogame feel to it and the colors were very vivid and bright. I remember that I noticed this and remembered that I had come across this before in an OBE.
Then I saw a girl playing around some flowers. She looked very animated to, as she was a character in a videogame, but yet alive. I took all this as it should be this way, as it was natural. I approcahed her a bit fast so she backed away and I excused myself and said that I shouldn't have approched her so fast. She had very big eyes and looked at me somewhat curiously. I asked her what her name was and I could hardly understand what she said/transmitted to me, but I think I understood that she didn't have any name or that she felt that I didn't need to know at this point as it was unimportant.
The pixelation and the bright colors faded away after this into more lifelike and "normal" colors so to speak.
What happened next was that I saw a smaller girl walking around on a path and I don't know if I got the hunch to follow her from the first girl I met or if I just knew it. Either way I knew by now that I had to talk to that girl because she knew where my sister was, and I needed to talk to her about something important. And also this feeling that I needed to talk to my sister came either from the blue or from one of these persons. I can't remember that.
The next part is a bit fuzzy.
I followed the little girl and she had something in her hand or pocket that looked wierd. I think she dropped it or gave it to me and it was some kind of device you could breathe in. I thought it was a pipe.
I followed this girl to a place where she lived. it looked like a school or a home with a different kind of environment.
I was told by the girl that the device I was holding was a device in which to breathe helium through. I was confused and didn't understand what I needed that for so I think I gave it back to her.
As the girl left I went ahead and looked for where my sister was. I knew she was in the place I was but I didn't know the way. Then I saw that the girl had put tiny posters with the text "This way" on it that I followed. I had to climb on furnature and cross the rooms in wierd ways for some reason. I don't know why I did that but I feel that this was a playfull environment, kind of like a kindergarten, and as I was in this environment I too were playfull.
I came across an older person (female) that looked Chinese or Japanese who had a name that I cant remember anymore. She was the one taking care of the small girl and perhaps of my sister to. I said hello and excused myself for climbing on her furnature and said that I could talk to her later because I didn't have much time. I was very aware of that I shouldn't remember this when I woke up if I took to much time. She said it was okey and then I saw a room beside the one I was in where my sister was. I didn't see her but I knew it.
I approached the room and I saw my sister who looked very young, perhaps 6 years old or something. This didn't feel strange to me either and I don't know why. She is 26 in real life. She laid in a small bed, reading something I think and turned her head and was very glad to see me.
She told me that she wanted to see me because she wanted to talk to me about that me and her should show each other that we love each other. She said that we both know that we love each other and its time to show it in a better way. I aggreed and understood what she said.
I laid close to her, in a very comforting way, as if she needed comforting. She seemed happy that I listened and it felt very natural to be close to her. This is not what it feels like in real life as there has always been love between us but also some distance that, when I think of it, feels strange that it exists.
When we were done talking I told her that I better leave so that I remembered this when I woke up. I guess she understod but I can't emember that part. It felt okey at least.
When I left I saw the Chinese/Japanese person beeing with the little girl in the other room. The little girl wanted me to play with her and brought out some pencils and a big bucked of water. I excused myself and said to both the girl and the adult person that I needed to go so that I coul'd remember all this. The adult said it was okey and I think that the girl also understood.
They put teh penicils and the water bucket on a table and I got the feeling that they wanted me to come back at another time to spend some time with them.
Then I woke up in my bed. The shift in consciousness was really smooth.
Thoughts:
My first thought is about the pixelation/videogame feeling in this experience. I have been told that this can be related to that we are not "tuned in" properly to the environment, plane or whatever we choose to call it we are experiencing. Also as this pixelation dissapears it seems the memory of the rest of the experience gets somewhat weaker. Its as if, if this theory is correct, once you are properly tuned in to the environment you loose foothold in whatever place/thing that keeps your memorystream intact. Its hard to formulate myself on this one, but I think I got it somewhat right.
My second thought is about the vibrations and the very physical sensations that I felt during the exit. It felt as if my consciousness was located on a very thin line between waking and dreaming consciousness. In a wierd way this makes it so that I never doubt what is happening to me. The vibrations and all other sensations just happens and feels very natural and I just think everything is okey and are familiar with it. It has been like this almost every time with every experience and memory, with some exceptions. I usually "wake up" in the middle of some vibrations or other experience and just go with it, thinking stuff like "Oh, now I can see through my eyes.. thats good" or "Oh, vibrations... I need to go with this". There is almost never any real confusion. But this is ususally in this in-between state I am reffering to. There have been one time where I woke up from a dream into an OBE and at that time I was just wondering about everything I experienced all the time. Also this time I didn't really know what to do and I just observed. And that leads me to believe that my consciousness that is closer to my physical person or ego was more present at that time. This time, however, I was further from that level of consciousness.
Thats what I can make of this experience and thats why it all felt very natural although more dreamlike.
What do you make of this? Any thoughts?
This really feels as a memory from an adventure in consciousness as in a downloaded memory. My physical waking self interprets the experience more as a dream but this "dream" differs from my usuall dreams in that it was very streamlined, it had context, it followed a direction and it really felt as an adventure and not some symbolic dreamscape with random events followed by another random event. It was extremely vivid and I remember almost everything in the entire "dream" to a degree I almost never do. Also the whole experience I experienced from a first person perspective as it was I myself who was experiencing it.
The first thing I can remember is me waking up to very physical sensations of intense vibrations. If this was when I was physically conscious I can't say for sure but I think so. I kept thinking that I shouldn't be afraid and to just go with the experience. The vibrations faded and I thought "damn, they faded..", but then the rush came again and more intense. The vibrations were extremely physical and teh speed in which it felt I traveled in was very fast too. I tried to stay calm again but I also tried to force the vibrations to increase with my will and when it seemed almost as if I physically tensed up I though I blew it again. I had this thought of a place that I really didn't want to wake up in, as if I was a fraid of it. And this was in an old house I lived in, where I have bad feelings/memories from. I sometimes dream about this house and often I try to overcome fears in that particular place. I guess I calmed down and those thoughts faded away.
The next thing I know I am walking up from my bed with the intention to get something to drink. I am not where I live but in a unfamiliar surrounding with a familiar feel to it. It felt as my fathers house when I lived at home. It did not look like it though. When I came out to the hallway some force suddently pulled me back from where I came from and I immediately knew that I'd had a false awakening.
I thought that this force was some helping/guiding force that wanted me to realize I wasn't in my phyiscal body and I was never afraid of the "force". Now, I never saw my physical body because I never went back to it, it never crossed my mind. Instead I was just totally happy that I was out of my body.
I wanted to get out of the house so I went to the door. As I opened it I thought it was foggy, but the fog cleared away and very vibrant colors appeared on everything. I looked at a butterfly that was huge, I saw a tree, grass and further away I saw buildings. Everything had this slightly animated, pixelated videogame feel to it and the colors were very vivid and bright. I remember that I noticed this and remembered that I had come across this before in an OBE.
Then I saw a girl playing around some flowers. She looked very animated to, as she was a character in a videogame, but yet alive. I took all this as it should be this way, as it was natural. I approcahed her a bit fast so she backed away and I excused myself and said that I shouldn't have approched her so fast. She had very big eyes and looked at me somewhat curiously. I asked her what her name was and I could hardly understand what she said/transmitted to me, but I think I understood that she didn't have any name or that she felt that I didn't need to know at this point as it was unimportant.
The pixelation and the bright colors faded away after this into more lifelike and "normal" colors so to speak.
What happened next was that I saw a smaller girl walking around on a path and I don't know if I got the hunch to follow her from the first girl I met or if I just knew it. Either way I knew by now that I had to talk to that girl because she knew where my sister was, and I needed to talk to her about something important. And also this feeling that I needed to talk to my sister came either from the blue or from one of these persons. I can't remember that.
The next part is a bit fuzzy.
I followed the little girl and she had something in her hand or pocket that looked wierd. I think she dropped it or gave it to me and it was some kind of device you could breathe in. I thought it was a pipe.
I followed this girl to a place where she lived. it looked like a school or a home with a different kind of environment.
I was told by the girl that the device I was holding was a device in which to breathe helium through. I was confused and didn't understand what I needed that for so I think I gave it back to her.
As the girl left I went ahead and looked for where my sister was. I knew she was in the place I was but I didn't know the way. Then I saw that the girl had put tiny posters with the text "This way" on it that I followed. I had to climb on furnature and cross the rooms in wierd ways for some reason. I don't know why I did that but I feel that this was a playfull environment, kind of like a kindergarten, and as I was in this environment I too were playfull.
I came across an older person (female) that looked Chinese or Japanese who had a name that I cant remember anymore. She was the one taking care of the small girl and perhaps of my sister to. I said hello and excused myself for climbing on her furnature and said that I could talk to her later because I didn't have much time. I was very aware of that I shouldn't remember this when I woke up if I took to much time. She said it was okey and then I saw a room beside the one I was in where my sister was. I didn't see her but I knew it.
I approached the room and I saw my sister who looked very young, perhaps 6 years old or something. This didn't feel strange to me either and I don't know why. She is 26 in real life. She laid in a small bed, reading something I think and turned her head and was very glad to see me.
She told me that she wanted to see me because she wanted to talk to me about that me and her should show each other that we love each other. She said that we both know that we love each other and its time to show it in a better way. I aggreed and understood what she said.
I laid close to her, in a very comforting way, as if she needed comforting. She seemed happy that I listened and it felt very natural to be close to her. This is not what it feels like in real life as there has always been love between us but also some distance that, when I think of it, feels strange that it exists.
When we were done talking I told her that I better leave so that I remembered this when I woke up. I guess she understod but I can't emember that part. It felt okey at least.
When I left I saw the Chinese/Japanese person beeing with the little girl in the other room. The little girl wanted me to play with her and brought out some pencils and a big bucked of water. I excused myself and said to both the girl and the adult person that I needed to go so that I coul'd remember all this. The adult said it was okey and I think that the girl also understood.
They put teh penicils and the water bucket on a table and I got the feeling that they wanted me to come back at another time to spend some time with them.
Then I woke up in my bed. The shift in consciousness was really smooth.
Thoughts:
My first thought is about the pixelation/videogame feeling in this experience. I have been told that this can be related to that we are not "tuned in" properly to the environment, plane or whatever we choose to call it we are experiencing. Also as this pixelation dissapears it seems the memory of the rest of the experience gets somewhat weaker. Its as if, if this theory is correct, once you are properly tuned in to the environment you loose foothold in whatever place/thing that keeps your memorystream intact. Its hard to formulate myself on this one, but I think I got it somewhat right.
My second thought is about the vibrations and the very physical sensations that I felt during the exit. It felt as if my consciousness was located on a very thin line between waking and dreaming consciousness. In a wierd way this makes it so that I never doubt what is happening to me. The vibrations and all other sensations just happens and feels very natural and I just think everything is okey and are familiar with it. It has been like this almost every time with every experience and memory, with some exceptions. I usually "wake up" in the middle of some vibrations or other experience and just go with it, thinking stuff like "Oh, now I can see through my eyes.. thats good" or "Oh, vibrations... I need to go with this". There is almost never any real confusion. But this is ususally in this in-between state I am reffering to. There have been one time where I woke up from a dream into an OBE and at that time I was just wondering about everything I experienced all the time. Also this time I didn't really know what to do and I just observed. And that leads me to believe that my consciousness that is closer to my physical person or ego was more present at that time. This time, however, I was further from that level of consciousness.
Thats what I can make of this experience and thats why it all felt very natural although more dreamlike.
What do you make of this? Any thoughts?