Why

[Donald McGlinn]

Why does society seem to be ok with polygamy when it's men with more than one wife, but not ok when it's a woman with more than one husband?

[SiriusTraveler]

Never knew the answer to this one but I have my guesses.
Perhaps media plays a role in all this. At least I lik to think so. Also, tradition says woman needs to be to be pure etc. etc. and that, perhaps, have carried over from generation through generation as an old "habbit" in thinking. We learn from the environment and what parents think imprints on children. Hence, as a commedian put it somewhere, "Woman are called sluts when sleeping with many guys, and guys are called studs when sleeping with many woman" - Unfair.

[CFTraveler]

Because a woman can have anyone's baby, and 'til modern times there was no reliable way to establish paternity. So if a woman 'belongs' to a man he knows the baby is his (hopefully) but if a woman has more than one husband, they can't know who the father is (once again, this doesn't apply in modern times), and since most societies are patriarchal, it means that the only provenance that really matters is paternal.
None of this is obviously true anymore, but tradition is tradition, and it's hard for people to accept that such traditions are based on faulty knowledge of biology, and assigned 'sacredness'.
.02
I'm sure some people won't like this.

[greytraveller]

Hello
I don't think that American society, which is predominantly Christian, Is okay with polygamy. That is why most Christians don't really see Mormons as a 'legitimate' religion. And most Mormons neither practice nor support polygamy.
And polygamy only seems to occur out in isolated areas of the far west, like Utah and Arizona.

Sincerely
Grey

[CFTraveler]

The thing is, Grey, that even though today it's not accepted, it used to be in various societies. Nowadays, times have changed, but the attitudes that made it possible still exist, but not legitimately supported by it. That's why certain trades (like slavery) still happen behind the scenes.

[Beekeeper]

Polygamy used to be justified in some contexts because it meant women folk were cared for. This, of course, is because they weren't free enough or safe enough from men to be self-sufficient on their own.

Polygamy, of course, is a terrible system that ensures wealthy men have access to sex with women at the expense of poor men. In some instances, it leads to a control mentality and requires a lot of energy to police. Usually, women are roped into regulating the virtue of other women in a psychological dynamic Freud dubbed "identification with the aggressor." Such patriarchal systems are set up in such a way that education and church reinforce the values desired by the power elites. Of course, it's a hell of a lot easier if you deny women education, privacy, freedom of movement (including not allowing them to drive) and assembly, access to self-defense training, the ability to earn a living and own property and the right to vote. If you constantly condition women from youth you can makes them subservient and obedient, at the cost of their mental and spiritual well-being and the spiritual growth of the men who remain unchallenged.

Some modern commentators try to justify polygamy because it's in the animal kingdom. I've seen primates eat poo too but I don't hear people using that to justify humans eating poo. :D There are lots of arrangements in the animal kingdom we don't choose to emulate. For instance, killer whales are real mumma's boys http://www.globalpost.com/dispatch/news/science/120914/killer-whale-mothers-love-their-sons-maybe-too-much

I saw an interesting interview on Gaiam TV between Regina Meredith and David Francis where he discussed relationships between men and women as an energy exchange. He argued that when one has an affair it alters the energy available between the couple and and the other senses it at some level. If he's right, then imagine if you have numerous wives how little energetic connection is available in each of those relationships.

[CFTraveler]

killer whales are real mumma's boys http://www.globalpost.com/dispatch/n...maybe-too-much (http://www.globalpost.com/dispatch/news/science/120914/killer-whale-mothers-love-their-sons-maybe-too-much) I resemble that report.
Hee hee.

[greytraveller]

Hello CFT
If you are referring to a sexist attitude toward women (that still lingers in society) then, yes, I agree.
In regards to slavery -- that it still exists 'behind the scenes , Yes, that too is true. Of course it is illegal yet sex slavery and economic slavery can be found in many second world and third world countries. So it does take generations for old, nasty, practices to be erased even after they are 'officialy' made illegal.

Regards
Grey

[CFTraveler]

Hello CFT
If you are referring to a sexist attitude toward women (that still lingers in society) then, yes, I agree. In a way- I was talking about the accepted present practices that come from seeing women as property- the customs of women taking the husband's name (as in, they were bought), the use of 'obey' in the vows, and other cultural remainders of this in western society-

In regards to slavery -- that it still exists 'behind the scenes , Yes, that too is true. Of course it is illegal yet sex slavery and economic slavery can be found in many second world and third world countries.

[ButterflyWoman]

I saw an interesting interview on Gaiam TV between Regina Meredith and David Francis where he discussed relationships between men and women as an energy exchange. He argued that when one has an affair it alters the energy available between the couple and and the other senses it at some level. If he's right, then imagine if you have numerous wives how little energetic connection is available in each of those relationships.
Yes, but in some polygamous situations, the wives actually build relationships with each other, and with the children of the other wives, so there is a kind of "family network" of energy that can form. It's very different than the energy in a monogamous relationship, and I think it's probably a lot harder to establish (the more personalities involved, the more likely you are to have clashes), but it seems to me it's do-able.

I have a number of polyamorous friends, and there are a few interesting arrangements (one triad group with two women and one man, for example) that seem for all the world to work very well, indeed.

[Beekeeper]

Yes, but in some polygamous situations, the wives actually build relationships with each other, and with the children of the other wives, so there is a kind of "family network" of energy that can form. It's very different than the energy in a monogamous relationship, and I think it's probably a lot harder to establish (the more personalities involved, the more likely you are to have clashes), but it seems to me it's do-able.

I have a number of polyamorous friends, and there are a few interesting arrangements (one triad group with two women and one man, for example) that seem for all the world to work very well, indeed.

Maybe a lack of deception as well as bonding creates a workable dynamic, then.