Learning to become self-aware

[newfreedom]

I am setting up a space here for myself (and others) to record my experiences, understandings and insights in a hope that it might help me to shift more permanently into a more self-aware space....


Thoughts, insights and comments from others welcome xX:mrgreen:

.... and held in appreciation (whenever possible xx)

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So back in 1994, i had a strange urge and a feeling of something 'missing'....

After finding books, i found it was spirituality that was missing from my life and 5 years later got connected energetically to 2 subtle energetic methods......

18 yrs later and i am still trying to live the spiritual life i read about and then 'dreamed' of.....

Had my 3rd awakening AND this time 'BREAKDOWN' space in May 2006 and been working constantly on dealing with it ALL ever since.

My medical diagnosis is Bi-Polar Disorder and i agree i do fit all that this diagnosis states....

I choose not to use medications (most of the time) but find that valerian is my most helpful substance when things start to become too intense and emotionally de-stabilizing. In the past, there was never a point where i felt it was TOO MUCH or enough..... as to block the process was tooooo EXTREMELY terrifying for me to even contemplate, but thankfully these last years have been easing to the point of it feeling safe to say... 'yeah, enough is enough......it's ok and safe to take a break now' and i will take some valerian..... this moves me out of the emotional body into my mental body, so all life & thoughts donot impact and trigger me emotionally continuously.....


So at the moment, i am in what i call my better or NEW space (used to be what i called my old 'high', manic or pyschotic space) so i can think, feel, explore, get understandings and see how i am 'being' ....... i sooo appreciate this space.....

and the energy in this space is sooo NEEDED ...... i like the term that the AYP site (http://www.aypsite.org/) uses ~ Ecstatic Bliss


what i have found and am finding constantly is that:-



there is a fine line between being in a beneficial evolving awareness space and an overwhelming awareness space (OR the complete opposite state of this for me is a state of complete SHUTDOWN)


So i have been learning how to stay out of the overwhelming awareness space, but without moving myself completely out of it and back into complete shutdown and stuckness.....


Never knew what i am living now even existed before, or maybe i did..... BUT just forgot or 'fell asleep' to it .... xxxx

[LPCF]

Valerian is a great natural calming plant. I'm sure that you know that it should not be used to excess, like any other plant or herb.

Cats are very attracted to valerian - and, I suspect, not just to the smell, as most people believe. Cats are great astral projectors and there is a probable link. Cats will lick material soaked in valerian like crazy - and then often fall asleep afterwards. Perhaps to project as a result?

BTW, I don't use valerian for sleeplessness. I don't have that problem; I fall asleep too easily, any day, without anything!

I do so hope that this thread will help you work things through - and apologies for the possible digression about valerian!

[newfreedom]

Valerian is a great natural calming plant. I'm sure that you know that it should not be used to excess, like any other plant or herb.

Cats are very attracted to valerian - and, I suspect, not just to the smell, as most people believe. Cats are great astral projectors and there is a probable link. Cats will lick material soaked in valerian like crazy - and then often fall asleep afterwards. Perhaps to project as a result?

BTW, I don't use valerian for sleeplessness. I don't have that problem; I fall asleep too easily, any day, without anything!

I do so hope that this thread will help you work things through - and apologies for the possible digression about valerian!

Hi LPCF, no digression there....

Well the valeriam tablets i currently use are to be taken 3 times a day..... on occasions i may take this dosage for about 3 days at a time, usually this is long enough and then i stop taking them, as i do no longer need their support.

I don't take valerian to sleep, only for emotional stability... for myself they seem to shut my emotional body down, so i become immune to being triggered emotionally.

Interestingly, i found an old iridology document that i had had done about 14 yrs ago and they had advised two herbs. one was st. john wort and the other was valerian...... i had never used valerian till about a year ago when i was looking to find ways to help me get back into sleep. At that time when i tried valerian i was not overly impressed with it, as i felt it shut me down too much and i found this rather too disturbing to want to use in that way. A year on and i now do not find valerian disturbing, but extremely supportive to help me with my movement into self awareness, it helps me maintain emotional stability without total awareness shutdown...


Thanks for the input.... interesting about valerian and cats x x

[newfreedom]

First part of my Post copied from Extreme sports: Awakening (http://www.astraldynamics.com.au/showthread.php?15837-Extreme-sports-Awakening/page3)

Seven & a half years on, i am still in the 'adjustment period', i have still not fathomed out how to continuously navigate in a better way. I know the potential to do so exists, as i have experienced this many times. However it seems the mental understandings of the 'how to' i am still learning /working out & also the capabilities of the 'how to' are seemingly needing more practice to embed, so as to become more readily available for me to use continuously.

Barbara Marciniak & the P.'s say that one of the reasons we are here is to 'learn how to use our biological computer'

This is what i am still busily focused /working on more than 7 yrs. later

--------------------------

So when i can, i put my attention on an aspect of myself (being mindful ?)

obstacles to this include

forgetting to do so, or forgetting to continue doing so
mood or emotional space not allowing me to even attempt to pay any attention of anything or even think

i have found that paying attention to

'where i'm at' or
'what's going on for myself'

​is the most useful place to focus as this then allows me to 'know' what i need on a feeling level. However i find this focus of attention still very hard to acheive, & often find myself focusing on what i am doing physically instead.

Once i arrive in work, my ability to 'stay present' with myself is 'lost' & if i remember to 'come back' at any time during my morning in work, all i really 'get' is a feeling of emotional discomfort.

Travelling home on the bus, i am usually able to think about paying attention once again, but at this point, i don't even know where to focus my attention anymore and everything i try feels very emotionally uncomfortable. I often end up 'going off', lost in thoughts by default, as this is much more comfortable.....no awareness of anything.

I am still having to put in huge amounts of effort, focus & energy to engage with my 'feeling-self' to enable myself to function from a 'feeling-level' state of being, but presently my 'feeling-self' keeps me (mostly) very limited in my choices & options......it's a very small space.. (unless i am able to engage alot & open more of the space)

If i ignore my 'feeling-self' & just function from a mental state of being (my old default mode) i quickly become physically exhausted & emotionally uncomfortable & am unable to function for long in this way anymore either.

[newfreedom]

During past 'high' energy spaces i would always be overwhelmed by the info. coming in, there was always way too much & i would have no idea how to ease or lessen this experience.

i would


get images,
understandings coming in as thoughts,
hear info. as spoken words,
see energetic overlays & subtle energies
get bombard with incoming information from everything i saw physically

It's great to be open to recieve all of these things & i am never happier than when i am able to experience, percieve & recieve. However in the early years of these experiences, this openess to recieve was always accompanied by me being in a different type of subtle energetic space than my norm ie. the high subtle energetic spaces that can induce 'mania' or pyschosis.

Within the last 2 weeks i have had 2 experiences that helped me understand a little more about the info. i receive & how in the early days i would become consumed by it.


Body feeling experience
So i am sitting on the bench at the bus stop, holding a pet carrier (i am taking my daughter's ferret to the vets to be checked) & trying to be 'present' with 'what's going on for me'. i feel my physical self sitting there on the bus bench & my doing this brings in an image/ picture in my mind.

It is an image of an animated film 'spirited away' of which i am familiar with.... i see the little girl sitting on a wooden bench waiting, she also has something on her knee. i remember that the little girl is waiting for a train & not a bus & decide to 'look-up' the scene in the film to refresh my mind.
i do this & interestingly their is no exact secene like the image that i got, there is a similiar image of the little girl sitting on the train (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0lwyc0x4R0)at 3.07 & 4.24 mins.

understandings


feeling myself in my physical body & it's posture can bring in visual info. of images & pictures
theses pictures can be different to the original material seen in 3D
these images / pictures being different to the real original ones seens, can cause mixed, false, corrupted memories, misunderstandings & mis-infomation


Visual Reminder Experience
i was standing at another bus stop (no seat) when a cyclist rode past on his bike, the shape of his mouth impacted me & i got a visual image of a friend i know. this internal image of my friend's face was so strong it super imposed it'self over the cyclist & for all intents & purposes this cyclist could now very well of been my friend passing by me on this bike in real life !

i can understand now, why i would become so 'lost'/ confused in the 'high' energy spaces when these experiences were happening. In these high subtle energetic spaces the internal visions were so 'real' / strong that 'coming back' from them to relate to the 'real' physical was impossible & my reality would just become what i was receiving internally as visions, images & other internal info. with physical reality being nothing more than the place from where i would recieve the info.

Both these experiences were interesting & 'WOW' moments for me, very illuminating & educational

[newfreedom]

Just had an interesting experience with my little dog Zen.

My daughter was telling him to go & eat his dinner, since he wasn't eating it, he would look at her then look back at me.
At one point as i watched him with eye contact, it seemed as if he was 'talking' & telling me a stream of information, i could only sense this, & it was experienced as him talking & telling me a long barrage of info. I was aware of this happening due to subtle energy fluctuations infront of & around his face.

Unfortunately, i didn't understand a word of it, but he definately told me a load of things :mrgreen:

i have had this experience before with gazing at the sun & looking at a newborn baby......info. just seems to be being passed from them to myself, even though i am unaware on a conscious level of what they have just told me.....

Very cool, just need to find a way to understand/decode the info. sent now 8) x x

[newfreedom]

Yesterday was a beneficial impactful day for me & this morning on waking up to take the dogs for their morning walk after 5 hrs sleep, i awoke to strong energy vibrating in my body.

It's quite abrupt to wake-up to this energy, but there is a pleasantness about it (least there is for me now, when i first experienced these energies working in me, (approx. 2007) i would be absolutely terrified out of my mind & always felt like i was imminently going to physically die) & the energies give a feeling of euphoria, excitement & 'feeling-alive' ....also enthusiasm & appreciation

Now that the energies have lessened, if i 'tune-in' it feels like the energetic feeling is associated with my heart chakra, ..... my heart chakra is active.... i like this feeling it makes me feel so good, so safe...

Earlier i had a strong sensation of the 'static bliss' in my belly area, this is another energy, sensation i adore, it feels sooo comfortable & safe & gives a feeling of optimism & expansiveness

Being in this energy space feels like the 'right' / optimum place to be, where life could be a 'joy to live', where living would be one of 'thriving' instead of a 'huge effort' just to get through

This energy space does 'still' bring up mild franticness in me, but it;s soo energetic to what i am usually in, it might just be the way i experience this energy & if it ever lasted long enough i would settle into as my 'norm' & just be a more physically capable, energetically active person.

The energy feeling sure does open doors to what's possible out there / in life to do...

I am going to try & engage with this energy / how i feel in this energy today as much as possible, because i have found for myself from experience, that if i am able to engage with myself in these better spaces, then i have more chance of maintaining them for longer.....

...... so.. 'here's hoping' .......:thumbsup:x:thumbsup:x:thumbsup:

[John Sorensen]

Yesterday was a beneficial impactful day for me & this morning on waking up to take the dogs for their morning walk after 5 hrs sleep, i awoke to strong energy vibrating in my body.

It's quite abrupt to wake-up to this energy, but there is a pleasantness about it (least there is for me now, when i first experienced these energies working in me, (approx. 2007) i would be absolutely terrified out of my mind & always felt like i was imminently going to physically die) & the energies give a feeling of euphoria, excitement & 'feeling-alive' ....also enthusiasm & appreciation

Now that the energies have lessened, if i 'tune-in' it feels like the energetic feeling is associated with my heart chakra, ..... my heart chakra is active.... i like this feeling it makes me feel so good, so safe...

Earlier i had a strong sensation of the 'static bliss' in my belly area, this is another energy, sensation i adore, it feels sooo comfortable & safe & gives a feeling of optimism & expansiveness

Being in this energy space feels like the 'right' / optimum place to be, where life could be a 'joy to live', where living would be one of 'thriving' instead of a 'huge effort' just to get through

This energy space does 'still' bring up mild franticness in me, but it;s soo energetic to what i am usually in, it might just be the way i experience this energy & if it ever lasted long enough i would settle into as my 'norm' & just be a more physically capable, energetically active person.

The energy feeling sure does open doors to what's possible out there / in life to do...

I am going to try & engage with this energy / how i feel in this energy today as much as possible, because i have found for myself from experience, that if i am able to engage with myself in these better spaces, then i have more chance of maintaining them for longer.....

...... so.. 'here's hoping' .......:thumbsup:x:thumbsup:x:thumbsup:


The early hours of the morning are a time when our subconscious mind is much easier to communicate with, and often waking during the early hours of the day (apart from being awesome for meditation eg between 3-5am) you will have the feeling-tone leftover from your dreams, or the feeling-tone of your body running through its healing and regeneration phase (Delta sleep), also you generally feel the unique tone of your higher self during these hours much stronger during these hours, depending on your focus.

I like to do automatic writing during those times, sometimes I will write for 30-60 minutes, and then the next day I will read what I have written, and have no conscious memory of it, because the material came straight from my subsconcious mind, it just "flows" through me like water downhill, no effort etc.

Now, as for the electromagnetic field of your heart (heart chakra) you can activate this as often as you like, for as long as you like. Greg Braden refers to this as the "Science of Compassion", you can find his videos on youtube, and also there is the Heart Math organisation where you can download a free PDF with the basic technique, or buy books with their more in depth techniques (same basic technique, just different uses).

I use the heart chakra for energy-healing each day, previously I was not doing this method, since I added this technique to the previous method I was using (which turned out to be only half a method that I misunderstood). It used to be my hands would glow/tingle with energy, but since adding the heart chakra along with the brain/mind (thought+emotion+feeling) my whole forearms have an internal fiery feel to them is most pleasant, and more focused than before.

If you want to experience more of what you have been experiencing, don't leave it to chance, daily practice practice practice brings results. It's like Rob says in "Evolution", it's better to practice each day with clear focus and intent than a little once in a blue moon.


"Being in this energy space feels like the 'right' / optimum place to be, where life could be a 'joy to live', where living would be one of 'thriving' instead of a 'huge effort' just to get through"

What you describe is a natural state of man, the Yogis call it bliss (although there are different degrees of Samadhi, I think the best kind is waking Samadhi that travels with you through all your days, rather than temporary meditative bliss)

If we lived in a world free of wars, pollution, bad intentions etc, a world of zero resistance, then life flows, we support each other, we love and are loved, we are present and never trying to escape, or shaking off the negative energy from other people, our natural state is blissful, but each day we walk through a spider-web of all kinds of energy, some of it we don't even know, we pick it up as if it were our own, like a magnet picks up anything that is attractive to it, good or bad.

What am I getting at is Practice Practice Practice the more you practice, the more you intend to be and live a certain way, you draw those probabilities to you from the quantum field. But enjoy where you are now, don't just be craving for the future.

[LPCF]

Just had an interesting experience with my little dog Zen.

My daughter was telling him to go & eat his dinner, since he wasn't eating it, he would look at her then look back at me.
At one point as i watched him with eye contact, it seemed as if he was 'talking' & telling me a stream of information, i could only sense this, & it was experienced as him talking & telling me a long barrage of info. I was aware of this happening due to subtle energy fluctuations infront of & around his face.

Unfortunately, i didn't understand a word of it, but he definately told me a load of things :mrgreen:

i have had this experience before with gazing at the sun & looking at a newborn baby......info. just seems to be being passed from them to myself, even though i am unaware on a conscious level of what they have just told me.....

Very cool, just need to find a way to understand/decode the info. sent now 8) x x

I haven't been on this forum for a while and only noticed this post today. Telepathy with animals is perfectly possible. But if you are not on exactly the same "wavelength", but not far off, then you will experience what happened to you. If you practise regularly with your dog, there is no reason why you should not be able to "decode" a message package.

Pet-caretaker telepathy is actually quite common, with dogs actually better at reading our minds than the other way round. Have you read "Dogs that Know when their Owners are Coming Home" by Rupert Sheldrake? You can read a description and some reviews of the book here: http://www.amazon.com/Dogs-That-Their-Owners-Coming/dp/0307885968

[newfreedom]

So today i am in a 'new' space with regards to my spiritual capabilities & experiences

(i will write them up when i can ! ...lots )

i was reminded of Mutley's 'sneaky' laugh today & so wanted to re-experience him...

Mutley's laugh (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJGUSrL63jE)

:-)http://www.astraldynamics.com.au/attachment.php?attachmentid=781&stc=1

As i am scrolling down the list of titles looking for this old thread of mine i read the words 'Opening third eye as an empath' at the instant i read this title a subtle energy chi strand shoots out from the AD page towards my face (3rd eye area)

i go back to find this title, but find two different titles instead that it seems had been melded together to give me this now 'new' title
The 2 post titles actually were:

3rd eye opening - by Daisy
take an empathy quiz - by Beekeeper

.....presently located on page 3
So i shall take an interested look at these 2 posts later :heart:~~

[newfreedom]

After 3 weeks in 'shutdown' yesterday after waking i was able to spend some time 'thinking' with myself

This had quite a dramatic effect & my internal state changed quite quickly & i was soon in enthusiasm, appreciation, able to engage, able to think, able to respond & able to feel 'joy'.

In my latest 'shutdown' phase, i would feel emotionally 'horriffic' on waking, (physically not feeling good with this) and when this had passed after approx. half an hr. i would be in an 'unawareness' which could best be described as 'nothingness' or 'blankness' . If i attempted any kind of self engagement, it would not last much longer than about 10 mins. before it would become too emotionally uncomfortable for me to continue.

Yesterday i received 2 energy sessions that i was aware of, late afternoon & evening - stomach area, then stomach area & heart chakra

On waking this morning, after several mins. i could feel my familiar 'early morning subtle energy feel' which felt real good & made it so much easier to get up & take the dogs for their early morning walk.

As i was walking through our usual quarry / wooded area dog walk it felt like a different reality, like new territory (although i did recognise this new territory space, as i have experienced it multiple times)


i was able to ponder on my walk -


'was my experience better because i could focus on pondering / thinking instead of my usual only available focus being on body sensations ?'
then i realised i was 'in' subtle energy that was allowing it emotionally to feel 'ok'. (instead of being in continual resistance. or uncomfortable feelings)
then i was able to feel the presence of subtle energy in my physical body, so physically i was actually feeling better - it was a physical body feeling of betterness

I have realised at other times, that being in this 'better space' is dependant on subtle energy & / or emotionally feeling good.

Years back i seemed to have more control over reaching this 'better space' if i made an effort to do so, these latest years it seems, i often fail in my efforts.


Visions behind closed eyelids - i often sense / see movement at first that then takes on a pictorial form

a children's park roundabout spinning anti-clockwise - the round & round loops of existence
the swishing movement of someone wiping a table with a dishcloth - representing cleaning or erasing
approx. 10/06 - the movement of pushing a button, the button was kinda mushroom shaped <-- 14/06. i just saw the same kind of button being pushed on the T.V. programme - programme is the news & they were reviewing the New Jurrasic Park film <-- a set of films close to my Heart - my son was a big Dinosaur fan & we still have all his Dinosaur books (waiting to get un-packed, out of the Garage & 'back in the house'
approx. 10/06 - had another movement vision (need to locatenotes to be able to write it up here)

[newfreedom]

Earlier today as i was wading through all my chaotic personal collections of junk, i came across a cassette. it is the children's . we had a complimenting book with it

The Land of Pleasant Dreams ~ Barely there at all (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcsLViaBxVs)

My attention was drawn towards 'notice-ing / learning about what this cassette was about / putting in then context, putting it in now context

i found this youtube clip. Not watched it yet.

i go outside ... it's raing ,just starting with sparsed out heavy water drops... approx. 3 secs from being out in the rain ... the lyrics coming through from my earbud earphones said the word ' RAIN'

So on this occasion the timing is: event experienced first, seconds later simupdates 'human' (lol!,maybe not) with this information in mental form

I stand on a stone, it hurts my bare foot ' I am not DangerousBrian' as i wobble on the stone ... haha

this happens on the next stone that jams in to my bare foot sole a few mins. later too.

My ex. comes out & lips says 'yer teas in there (cup of tea)using body gestures & 'madd-dog face & Psycho eyes' this instantly has me putting up 'thethumbs up sign first with one had , then the other, i am now one of them gods/ myths woman that has loads of arms... think i have this early memory from childhooh Sinbad films.

Dont know how long it takes Ex. to 'retreat' but he is gone when i have finished my 'moves'

The movements are ' strong, precise, accurately portraying what they wish to show.

Also had Gorilla arm / hand

Mammal front leg during walking

a stick leg that feels like it walks backwards in it's movement .... Robort leg... a stick shape ..

I was drawn to look at / & listen briefly (twice) to the song ... 'Hearts amess' by Gotye... the figures on that video have great significance for me i can see/ feel they have ...

Thanks ~*WSw*~ AD Community & Gotye X ~ X ~ X ~ x :thumbsup: :grouphug: x:twisted: :thumbsup: ......... :loveyou:x

[newfreedom]

Earlier today as i was wading through all my chaotic personal collections of junk, i came across a cassette. it is the children's . we had a complimenting book with it

The Land of Pleasant Dreams ~ Barely there at all (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcsLViaBxVs)

My attention was drawn towards 'notice-ing / learning about what this cassette was about / putting in then context, putting it in now context

i found this youtube clip. Not watched it yet.

i go outside ... it's raing ,just starting with sparsed out heavy water drops... approx. 3 secs from being out in the rain ... the lyrics coming through from my earbud earphones said the word ' RAIN'

So on this occasion the timing is: event experienced first, seconds later simupdates 'human' (lol!,maybe not) with this information in mental form

I stand on a stone, it hurts my bare foot ' I am not DangerousBrian' as i wobble on the stone ... haha

this happens on the next stone that jams in to my bare foot sole a few mins. later too.

My ex. comes out & lips says 'yer teas in there (cup of tea)using body gestures & 'madd-dog face & Psycho eyes' this instantly has me putting up 'thethumbs up sign first with one had , then the other, i am now one of them gods/ myths woman that has loads of arms... think i have this early memory from childhooh Sinbad films.

Dont know how long it takes Ex. to 'retreat' but he is gone when i have finished my 'moves'

The movements are ' strong, precise, accurately portraying what they wish to show.

Also had Gorilla arm / hand

Mammal front leg during walking

a stick leg that feels like it walks backwards in it's movement .... Robort leg... a stick shape ..

I was drawn to look at / & listen briefly (twice) to the song ... 'Hearts amess' by Gotye... the figures on that video have great significance for me i can see/ feel they have ...

Thanks ~*WSw*~ AD Community & Gotye X ~ X ~ X ~ x :thumbsup: :grouphug: x:twisted: :thumbsup: ......... :loveyou:x

Moving some books and i find the story book to the cassette - The land of pleasant dreams, i look through it. There is a small square-ish piece of paper nestled between 2 of the pages. i try to 'read' or give a understandable connection to this

The paper was covering bobbit the horse's tail - i had a 'vision' of a horse's bottom with swishing tail a few weeks back

the paper has two marks on it - an 'x' - i have been using the small 'x' alot the last several yrs & for me it represents 'myself' (big 'X' my spirit guidance)

Also another mark - an 'j' without the dot - a candy stick

Interesting & lot's of Fun xxxxx (mostly)

[newfreedom]

13/06

Left eye stone

As i was sorting through shells & stones, ornaments, i came across my 'eye stone' i found as a child. It's a very cool stone looks just like a left eye. i found it amongst the shingle on Angmering-on-sea, Sussex's beach when i was a child.

How awesome, i had forgotten i had this... it reminds me of the now 'eye avatar' i have up here the last few months.

:party::heart: ~:idea:~

[newfreedom]

WORD

'Choosing'


19/06 - thought - choosing <-- hit head on branches of trees
20/06 - thought - choosing<-- saw what i thought was a white stone, but it was the end of a tree branch

[newfreedom]

I stand on a stone, it hurts my bare foot ' I am now experiencing myself as being Dangerous Brian' as i wobble on the stone ... haha

this happens on the next stone that jams in to my bare foot sole a few mins. later too.

My ex. comes out & from reading his lips (i have my earphones in & music blasting into my headspace) he says 'yer tea's in there (cup of tea) using body gestures & 'mad-do' face & 'Psycho eyes' this instantly has me putting up 'the thumbs up' sign, first with one hand , then the other, i am now one of them gods/ mythical woman beings with the many arms... think i have this early memory from childhood Sinbad films as a visual image in my mind of a woman with many arms , all moving independently.

Don't know how long it takes Ex. to 'retreat' but he is gone when i have finished my 'moves'

The movements are ' strong, precise, accurately portraying what they wish to show.

Also had:

Gorilla arm / hand
Mammal front leg during walking
a stick leg that feels like it walks backwards in it's movement .... Robot leg... a stick shape ..
my 2 arms --> the mammals front legs
my right arm, bent at the elbow resting on my lap --> cat / dog front leg when it is lying down
my right arm is portraying a mammal's front leg, my hand is in an incomplete 'Ok' gesture. My first finger & thumb donot touch but have approx. 3cm gap between them. Wonder if this is a yoga / known hand gesture (i should research it)

(More added on 20/06)




Postures, poses, body movements & understanding what they convey


Gorilla arm / hand
Mammal front leg during walking
a stick leg that feels like it walks backwards in it's movement .... Robot leg... a stick shape ..
my 2 arms --> the mammals front legs
my right arm, bent at the elbow resting on my lap --> cat / dog front leg when it is lying down
20/06 - my right arm is portraying a mammal's front leg, my hand is in an incomplete 'Ok' gesture. My first finger & thumb donot touch but have approx. 3cm gap between them. Wonder if this is a yoga / known hand gesture (i should research it)

[newfreedom]

Today i am in a processing space....


means:


i am more sensitive
i am able to engage with how my body feels & what it needs eg. earlier i was able to 'realise' i needed to eat
life changes from unpleasant to intense
it's what i need, but it's always 'too much'
i have kundalini energy active in my body, but with this comes 'feeling sick to the stomach' sensations - this is caused by build-up of 'emotions' & my usual way to release this is by 'physically breaking-down & crying'



Physical life circumstances are 's**t' as ever

It's appears that my little dog Zen is coming to the end of this earth life cycle, been to the vets today & they have done what they can, no improvement by tomorrow means he's not going to recover. He is 16 & half yrs.

After finishing writing the above, there was an obvious change to me, an adjustment was made to me subtle energetically, the kundalini energy feels less, i feel less nauseous, lighter & with more 'ease'

:heart:....thankyou

[newfreedom]

9.45 am - i opened the back door this morning to let the dog out into the back garden & was greeted by a beautiful blue sky & a perfect rainbow ~ wow ~ :heart:

(i am going to get some more batteries for my camera so i can keep these moments, this is the second time now in the last 2 days where i would of liked to have taken a picture of something:-()

[newfreedom]

Words Patterns of today:

This Place is RUBBISH
Nothing works in this house
THIS is NOT What i want to be doing with my Life
You're going to be Sorry
I'm STUCK in this Crisis...


I WIN ...... THE WAR ......... Against EVIL

:heart::grouphug::heart:
------------------------------

Date: 11/12/15

Time: 5.40am --- Best of Alan Partridge (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4H0qXnJvOD8) (part 2)

Watching Alan Partridge to help with progress, mental stability & EASE of life... :love:


~Completely NOTHING ~ i have that skill~ :mrgreen: xxx ~:party:~

Word Patterns:
Date: 11/12/15
Time: 6.30 am

like this

----------------------------------------------------


29/12/15 - Removed from my signature & placed here:

Calm & Clear - Robert Shapiro

(http://explorerrace.blogspot.co.uk/2015/12/calm-and-clear.html)The Pleiadians - Barbara Marciniak (http://pleiadians.com/)

[newfreedom]

Having made changes : net curtains in kitchen are completely open, whenst normally they would be closed, even though they are not full length of the window.

Blackbird male, blackbird female (http://www.starstuffs.com/animal_totems/dictionary_of_birds.htm#) on ferret wire fence barrier facing each other, never seen birds sitting on this wire fencing barrier before.

stopped me in my tracks, i had become lost in thoughts as i continued to do physical style chore / duties.

then i noticed a dunnock, a bluetit & another small bird in my back garden: i was able to appreciate & remember 'this part of my life still existed' ( i was a garden bird watcher as a hobby at age 10yrs & would use a cool pair of binoculars my grandparents had bought me to study up close the birds that visited- it was a passion of mine :heart:)

After this experience i became blank & was completely cut off from what i was meant to be doing & also completely cut off from the 'functioning space that had become mine over the last semi- difficult processing days i had been immersed in.

After some seconds my memory returned & i could continue physically with what i had been doing & my connection to my 'functioning space' returned :D

Thankyou wild Birds :loveyou: xxx

[newfreedom]

Time: 11.15 am ish

So i am breaking down with the stress of my issues impacting apon me, when i notice through my window a female chaffinch land in the tree. I feel supported :grouphug::heart:

This 'breaks' my impending fall in to overly-deep-breakdown.... and so i don't

Who'd of thought that 'crying without end' would ever be the prefered method of coping what cannot be coped with.

i have to be so careful not to fall into that cycle...

when i got up to take a closer look at the birds through my window, on our lawn was 2 female chaffinches & one male. A few seconds later a blue tit flew into our biggest tree.

It seems like a few years since i last remember seeing chaffinches in the garden :loveyou:xxx

Finches (http://www.starstuffs.com/animal_totems/dictionary_of_birds.htm)
Energy amplification, new experiences, more active life with increase in potentials, aids in recognizing the spiritual and physical aspects of all things, helps you recognize your own voice, sporadic and tenacity and the ability to be quick and observant. Finch teaches to awaken to your surroundings and aids in the connections to family.

[newfreedom]

:heart:...

I was on the AD site a couple of days ago, browsing through written material offered here & i gained some understandings.




The best advice for myself right now is 'PRACTICE'
My GOAL is to keep my 'MOOD UPBEAT'


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Understandings

i experienced 'keeping completely still' so as to remain SAFE

The Sim Synchronistic connection / symbol was a Woodpigeon.

(http://www.starstuffs.com/animal_totems/dictionary_of_birds.htm)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1 pm ish:

I am veiwing a picture of Hilter on the yahoo home page & i am given a feeling sense / vision of (myself ?) stabbing myself in the forehead makes holes in my head making it look like a colander. I explore the vision & am shown i am using a pen to stab the holes into my forehead.

So - an image of 'Stabbing myself in the forehead with a pen when looking at Hitler'.
...interesting

An aside note:
My son studied Hitler as a part of his University course in History :heart:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every body is Kung fu fighting (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKIT6vsyGkc)
Kung fu fighting (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w93Uxwsk3Vk) (lyrics) - Cee Lo Green

No Bravery - james Blunt (lyrics) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bummpWepKWY)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Date: 3/01/16

Time: 10 am ish - Bird Sim support:


5 starlings
2 jackdaws on the telephone wires, that across above our garden.


Helps to bring balance & stability to emotional response
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Word Pattern - Trapped-in a-House with morons
____________________________
Time:1.30pm ish
Word Pattern -It's Distressing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Time: 5.15 pm ish


Word 'tick' - kill me
sim sync - police siren could be heard coming through the open window from outside
----------------------------------


ADDED NOTE :
Date:approx. 9/01/16



Most important Help word for me from my spiritual guidance was the word 'Open'

[newfreedom]

Word Pattern: Come closer


- brings forth the visual memory of the 'childcatcher' - Chitty, Chitty Bang, Bang. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUnhfvGdmmw)

Time: 7.20pm
i spoke quietly to myself the words ' i am stuck on this island without any Love or admission of Guilt' - this 'stopped me in my Tracks' as i examined the 'meanings of what had just been spoken.

It broke the 'Distress' pattern i was 'rolling' in
----------------------------------------

Time: 8pm


Word Pattern: stupid people


Time: 8.20 pm

WP - i'm FED-UP being ill
WP - i enjoy Learning


Time: 8.30 pm

WP- it's annoying, i can't find my WAY out'
WP - i'm stressing
WP - i'm getting irritated now
WP - Help me - causes me to see a visual of me getting 'headbutted !'

[newfreedom]

Time: 6.45am:

So i am about to launch into another endless cycle of physical crying, triggered by 'something' that i can't remember now, my mouth opens wide & my head tips back to begin the ENDLESS release, WHEN a subtle energy pill in thrown into my mouth & i see the film scene from Scary movie 2 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKu1UIlMoP0)where the priest throws a pill into the possessed girl's mouth. (at 54 secs.into the video)


THIS CUTS / BREAKS THE GRIEF CYCLE, PREVENTS IT BEING STARTED

- i donot cry, but instead come here to write it up. :heart:

I have experienced a subtle energetic pill being popped into my mouth previously too.

BIG Thanks ..... :love: xxx


Time: 9.50 am

Experience


Input sim visual: a seagull soaring through the sky
Spoken words recieved: birds fly at night & birds fly in the day

----------------------------
Time: 10.30am
WP: Help me out
WP: But what happens if it gets out

[Dreamweaver]

A Shamanic author you and others may be interested in: Don Miguel Ruiz - The Four Agreements, the Fifth Agreement, the Toltec Art of Life and Death

[newfreedom]

A Shamanic author you and others may be interested in: Don Miguel Ruiz - The Four Agreements, the Fifth Agreement, the Toltec Art of Life and Death

Ok Dreamweaver, Thankyou.

i'll have a look at these shortly, much appreciated xxxx

[newfreedom]

Date: 5/01/16

Time: 12. 10 midnight

i am sorting my Bedroom AGAIN.

it is amazing .... really 'mind-Boogling'.... :wacky1:~:love:~:idea:

Changes:

Moving funiture
moving 'rubbish' - with intention of 'finding a Home for it'
Putting cleaning chemicals on work surfaces
pets spaces changing with-in our shared space - i share my bedroom space with our Dog (male) & our adopted ferret (female)
having a candle lit, having incense lit, more or less continuously (every time i notice it has gone out)



i find my copy of Astral dynamics. i hug it with appreciation. xx

interestingly it has a small round yin/yang sticker to the top, left of the cover picture

on the first page is written in pencil, the price - £13.50

Some pages have been marked / corner of page turned over :



PAGE 200
PAGE 203
PAGE 211
PAGE 135 (a larger fold)
page 431 (has a 'nick' in the top, most likely done by accident /or magic !)

[newfreedom]

I haven't been on this forum for a while and only noticed this post today. Telepathy with animals is perfectly possible. But if you are not on exactly the same "wavelength", but not far off, then you will experience what happened to you. If you practise regularly with your dog, there is no reason why you should not be able to "decode" a message package.

Pet-caretaker telepathy is actually quite common, with dogs actually better at reading our minds than the other way round. Have you read "Dogs that Know when their Owners are Coming Home" by Rupert Sheldrake? You can read a description and some reviews of the book here: http://www.amazon.com/Dogs-That-Their-Owners-Coming/dp/0307885968

Hi LPCF,
No, i haven't read 'Dogs that Know when their Owners are Coming Home" by Rupert Sheldrake', but early on in my reading years (from 1994 onwards) i came across a beautiful book called 'What the animals tell me'- Sonya Fitzpatrick (http://www.amazon.co.uk/What-Animals-Tell-Me/dp/0283063211/ref=sr_1_1?s=instant-video&ie=UTF8&qid=1452538043&sr=8-1&keywords=what+the+animals+tell+me+sonya+fitzpatric k) (a real life Dr. Doolittle)

[newfreedom]

Date: 19/01/16



cut on tip of middle finger, left Hand
the usual gum & teeth agony
constipation
diarrhea & belly cramps
the usual odema in feet, ankles, legs causing agony
cold symptoms - running nose, chest cough
Heart palpatations
clumpsiness / dropping of items / objects from hands (hand looses it's grip & item falls to the ground)
limb weakness
vertigo
forgetfulness
short term memory loss
confusion
irritability
an energetic throbbing inside ears
lower wind
21/01/16 - 2 x shards of glass in my rt. foot
cut knuckle of L hand little finger

[newfreedom]

Date: 6/02/16

i had only been asleep for an hour or so,when i woke to what felt like something moving on my bed around by my feet. i had to fully wake myself & sit up & check with my vision to ensure there was nothing physical causing this sensation.

i was quite surprised to find nothing there, the movement was so strong, i thought perhaps one of our pets had gotten into my bedroom.

I tried to 'tune-in' to any subtle energy i was still experiencing & there was some & it was quite strong & swirly with some motion around my leg area.

Possible causes

my deceased pets romping around my feet/ legs on the bed
energetic vibrations from recently re-entering my body after 'being out'


Notes

the energy sensation movements appeared to be connected to similar types of energy i have experienced before
it felt more like the OBE energy vibrations as opposed to subtle healing energies
i was also slightly spooked by this experience, which usually i am not, i kept expecting to 'see' something jump out at me (this might be caused by too much T.V. watching)

[newfreedom]

Self-harming tendency understandings

i just got the image of myself bashing my wrists against an object until they became broken & floppy, i have had this vision before.

i felt into this & then got another visual image, this time it is of a chicken hanging upside down by it's feet & being swung into an object until it's neck is floppy (dead)

Animal killing is connected to my self harming feelings then ...... makes sense

(admin, mods if this post is deemed too gruesome & disturbing for others, please delete it, Thanks)

[newfreedom]

12th Sept. 2012 - So i have been learning how to stay out of the overwhelming awareness space, but without moving myself completely out of it and back into complete shutdown and stuckness.....

Nearly 4 years on & i still have not mastered this yet ...
It's something i am still very much learning to do & presently working on it once again

Earlier i was given the word phrase: 'Help me Home'

Word Pattern: 'What are you chopsin about' - This was a saying my dad would use towards me.... and yes, i was a very 'chopsy' kid

------------------------

10/06/16

My senses have heightened:

my eye focus has changed, so i 'see' others - human / animal eyes as focused differently
smells are clearer, more distinct
sound is clearer, sharper & more intense - just heard some bird sounds i didn't recognise in my garden trees, on looking closely, the sound was coming from 3 / 4 baby blue tits, not sure if i've seen baby blue tits before, they were so cute :heart:

--------------------------------------


9am - clearing / releasing 'grief' through 'crying' (been a few months since i had a good, deep cry)

Trigger: was a music video where from an above viewpoint it showed ducks moving through the water, following a trail between the weeds. :angelic:

And on finishing writing this up, i now have a wretching throat cough (there is irritation in my physical throat)

[newfreedom]

Date: 19/01/16



cut on tip of middle finger, left Hand
the usual gum & teeth agony
constipation
diarrhea & belly cramps
the usual odema in feet, ankles, legs causing agony
cold symptoms - running nose, chest cough
Heart palpatations
clumpsiness / dropping of items / objects from hands (hand looses it's grip & item falls to the ground)
limb weakness
vertigo
forgetfulness
short term memory loss
confusion
irritability
an energetic throbbing inside ears
lower wind
21/01/16 - 2 x shards of glass in my rt. foot
cut knuckle of L hand little finger




Out of the above healing crisis symptoms, this phase has had:



cuts, nicks & wickow
some gum & teeth discomfort
some diarrhea & belly cramps
cold symptoms - running nose, chest cough, sore / dry throat
Heart palpatations less, more subtle energetic heart chakra activations instead
less clumpsiness / dropping of items / objects from hands (hand looses it's grip & item falls to the ground)
vertigo (alot of dizziness & vertigo at times, very powerful / strong - appears to be connected to 'life' / the physical / simulation triggers
forgetfulness - less so
short term memory loss - less
confusion is gone, some 'blank- mind' moments instead
irritability - still strong at times, less so the last few days as i move back towards more 'normal for me' sleep patterns
an energetic throbbing inside ears - occasional ear effects, subtle energetic sensationsthe most gentle, but clear ever, so far for me
lower wind - small amounts (BAD) because i am HAVING to work on EATING issues & eating some things 'I DON'T eat' / would not CHOOSE to Eat.
21/01/16 - 2 x shards of glass in my rt. foot - no glass / splinters (yet)


ADDED NOTE:

approx. half an hr after posting this comment, i managed to get myself the first splinter (i was brushing my foot back & forth on the carpet... for what ever reason ? !)

[newfreedom]

Fun-times


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMmDkDpt3OA:idea:

[newfreedom]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oC-GflRB0y4

[newfreedom]

Just cleaned my computer, it removed a 6 numbered figures of #stuff# ..... BUT still it hadn't deleted my password for here :loveyou::thumbsup::grouphug:.......... ~~~~:party:~~~~ ~~~ ~~ ~ ~/~ 'BOO'~p' ~\~ 'Hello !' --- :wave::mrgreen::idea: x XX .



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYH8DsU2WCk

:twisted:

[newfreedom]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVJab7Gti_I#t=90.420608

[newfreedom]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJ5CdJwKNI8

Hahahahaha............:mrgreen:'s funny.

[newfreedom]

1511

1512



1513


15141515

[newfreedom]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cq4FwP885fg

[newfreedom]

Who are the 'gods' that really see

1516

1517


1518


1519


:heart::mrgreen::idea:

[newfreedom]

INCCIDENT:

As i was tidying in the lounge i eas throwing out the largest lounge windowthe small amount of remaining bird seed/ meal worms i had found
getting muddle

will do later ... i need to #take care of MY needs first - substance, hair etc. in note form

me, sorting /tidying
i open window - windy day , wind blow curtain to knock on to the floor a heirloom - sentimental value
simultaneously i am TRYING to get t.tv to change channel & it is hightlighted on this channel

There goes the motherhead
time approx. 9.45 am

[newfreedom]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJMsFGH4eoQ

[newfreedom]

My son is PHYSICALLY missing from MY LIFE.

[newfreedom]

SIM:



Machinery: T.V.

WORD (Pattern) : 'Stay'in'

sim response: Large bird flew down into front garden

Shar, Response: entrallment, gratitude, 'gets up after getting T.V. station finally on the right channel, to see what bird had just flown down,


It had looked blk. in colour as it passed the window, on 'looking' physically, by getting off the chair, standing, walking over to the lounge window to see, .... it was a WOODpigeon....... iwas 'stunned' with the 'Beauty of the EVENT. It had a large white patch on neck & so i did not think it was our fledgling/s.

There was also a female blk bird on the front garden ground too.



Interpretation: Acknowledgement that 'I AM STAYING' in my Home ... Sed can go.

[newfreedom]

un-stringed

love

1628

[newfreedom]

1629

[newfreedom]

NQ --- mouse flings out of hand

billy / rome pink xmas light / rose pink orange

letter bead 'M' hurts top pad of right foot

rome shows pink bead, torquoise bead number4 on dice & a pikachu pog xxx

[newfreedom]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNFzwGNCFx8

[newfreedom]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dw1oM7LBbxE

[newfreedom]

red, Blk, purple & blue(royal)

colours on I.T.V. Logo
----- reminds me i can have itv. on my computer - do now

[newfreedom]

9.10 am approx.

i say Hi Birdy,

male blk bird on roof, he lifts his left leg up,

i say oh are you cold

he then makes the chirping motion with his beak '(i explored 'chirping' during the 'sleeping hrs)

' so he chirps silently'

He then puts his foot back down & stands on his two feet.

I just realised it was Gin's Left leg that was injured too.

Seems i am now back to the age of 10yrs or earlier in terms of my 'place' within this Earth space ~ cool beans xx

[newfreedom]

Time:10.50 am

3 Jackdaws on Garage roof feeding

The garage is in our back garden , i see it through the kitchen window, the back door, my nanna's old bedroom & our new big bedroom extension room , which my daughter presently occupies/

Today in the kitchen i am / was cooking, having radio on ,eating & sorting, have T.V on in the next roo, which is the lounge..

Everybody Loves Raymond was on earlier. It's finished now & so i should choose another channel. maybe later i can put an old style video on :)

[newfreedom]

Ex. is moving out in a few days, before his next payday on the 15th Jan 2017......


Got sort the finances now, HELLLL NO !..... they are UNFIX-able .....


-------------------FIRST STEP -------------------------


Thanyou AD forum members.................... it's be a long. 'non-EXISTANT' 8yrs................ to get to the time for this to HAPPEN.....


need to chill now & RE-GAIN composure & get 'my mind' back on my own side .......... instead of 'ANYOLDTHING' goes to 'MAKEITSTOP !!!!'

[newfreedom]

Ex. is moving out in a few days, before his next payday on the 15th Jan 2017......


Got sort the finances now, HELLLL NO !..... they are UNFIX-able .....


-------------------FIRST STEP -------------------------


Thanyou AD forum members.................... it's be a long. 'non-EXISTANT' 8yrs................ to get to the time for this to HAPPEN.....


need to chill now & RE-GAIN composure & get 'my mind' back on my own side .......... instead of 'ANYOLDTHING' goes to 'MAKEITSTOP !!!!'

Police- Cell Therapy = 'Highly Recommended instead of 'Hospitalisation'

You get to be put in a PRIMAL ~ SCREAM Therapy situation 'to deal with 'YOUR' S~H~I~T' and it works ..........................

i was able to understand so many things that were unclear or less fully understood about many of my word patterns.... my physical agony

Was able to work through how to live, was able to work out HOW to budget without the self HARM..... or intention to 'HARM' annoying 'others' ..............

I was in the Police Cell set-up for approx. 20 hrs


Good SUPPORT / much NEEDED.................MUCHious ..,GRATITUDE to all there & all 'WHO DEALT with ME'.............

Here's OUR SONG for that processing / HEALING stint ............

Dont you FOREGT about ME .....
SimpleMINDS


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jlHz0wF0Ig

[newfreedom]

So all the direct debits will bounce tomoz & lots of things will get stopped / cut off.... i donot expect to have internet access for some time.....

so see you guys in some months time xxxxx

Have fun ,with Love xX

[IA56]

So all the direct debits will bounce tomoz & lots of things will get stopped / cut off.... i donot expect to have internet access for some time.....

so see you guys in some months time xxxxx

Have fun ,with Love xX

Hi new freedom,

Do you not have library or internet cafe where you live?? You do not have to be away from here because of lost of internet at home, library must have internet, here in my town we have.

I did see me on your bead Angeles list...can you please tell me what they are and how they look like?? and the purpose of them.

Love
ia

[newfreedom]

Hey Ia....

we have library 3 miles away, i donot leave home [often]

Bead angels are 'pressies' [presents] i like to make them for people i care about , that's it really ... i wanted to upload some photos but , don't think i will manage to now, in time..... angles made from safety pins wire & coloured beads [ornaments of sorts]

[IA56]

Hey Ia....

we have library 3 miles away, i donot leave home [often]

Bead angels are 'pressies' [presents] i like to make them for people i care about , that's it really ... i wanted to upload some photos but , don't think i will manage to now, in time..... angles made from safety pins wire & coloured beads [ornaments of sorts]

Okay newfreedom I understand, but do you not have any friend who can drive you to the library?? My son is like that too, I drive him where he needs to go until he is healed enough to take a bus by himself.
I will pray that you will get so much strength and courage to make the trip to the library, it is too long some months for you to be away from us, try to solve it somehow.
I am very interested to see your bead Angeles, I am sure they are made by deep love and caring, I feel honored, thank you. :heart:

Love
ia

[newfreedom]

Okay newfreedom I understand, but do you not have any friend who can drive you to the library?? My son is like that too, I drive him where he needs to go until he is healed enough to take a bus by himself.
I will pray that you will get so much strength and courage to make the trip to the library, it is too long some months for you to be away from us, try to solve it somehow.
I am very interested to see your bead Angeles, I am sure they are made by deep love and caring, I feel honored, thank you. :heart:

Love
ia


Hi Ia,

it's all been resolved so far.....

more to budget on Mon. but my niece has sorted my Finances , so far for me..... she made it possible to keep electric, internet, t.v. licence, water rates using the benefit money i get .....

Looks like i was making a MOUNTAIN out of A MOLEHILL, once more :mrgreen:..... thankyou for your comment, support & love, helps immensely xxxx

[IA56]

Hi Ia,

it's all been resolved so far.....

more to budget on Mon. but my niece has sorted my Finances , so far for me..... she made it possible to keep electric, internet, t.v. licence, water rates using the benefit money i get .....

Looks like i was making a MOUNTAIN out of A MOLEHILL, once more :mrgreen:..... thankyou for your comment, support & love, helps immensely xxxx

Fantastic newfreedom... I am happy to here all is solved...very good.
I do understand you and where you are, I can only say I am sorry that I have not given you anything before back, I have felt your need so clear but I have not given you anything to lighten or ease you up, as you say I know it so well...that suport and love helps...it is all we need.
I am happy all is cleared up and you can be here and communicate if you like and in your time. I will be here for you if you need some love and support.

Love
ia

[newfreedom]

Flubber

1714


Flubber [Trailor]


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bm-jug8Y5U8

[newfreedom]

Physical life incident

2/07/17 - Saw a wren land on the front gate post yesterday, it had a fluttering medium orange moth / butterfly held tightly in it's beak.

i was both awed & 'horrified' at the same time... the little wren & the fluttering butterfly were 'gone' before i could react. i opened the front garden gate to see if i could affect the wren & 'save' the butterfly.....

... there was nothing i could physically do...

I have no 'memory' of EVER having seen a bird holding a fluttering butterfly in it's beak before, in my own physical space (in 'real' life)

The experience did have a 'marking' impact on me... i wonder what it 'signified' in terms of the 'Simulation set-up' - what effects / influences or energies it brought to 'me' & my environment.

It 'feels' positive, even though i didn't like [was distressed by] 'what i was shown'...

[newfreedom]

2/07/17 - Saw a wren land on the front gate post yesterday, it had a fluttering medium orange moth / butterfly held tightly in it's beak.

i was both awed & 'horrified' at the same time... the little wren & the fluttering butterfly were 'gone' before i could react. i opened the front garden gate to see if i could affect the wren & 'save' the butterfly.....

... there was nothing i could physically do...

I have no 'memory' of EVER having seen a bird holding a fluttering butterfly in it's beak before, in my own physical space (in 'real' life)

The experience did have a 'marking' impact on me... i wonder what it 'signified' in terms of the 'Simulation set-up' - what effects / influences or energies it brought to 'me' & my environment.

It 'feels' positive, even though i didn't like [was distressed by] 'what i was shown'...

9.40 am ish - i catch sight of a baby wren through our lounge window, he is having a bath in our bird bath. He is sooo tiny ... sooo sweet !

~~~~ logic~~~
'baby wren has to EAT'

[newfreedom]

this image i can identify with:

2272

Date: 4/07/17



Word Pattern: 'i hate this place'




Context: i was struggling emotionally, mentally & physically to function within my environment as i 'pushed through' just to get simple tasks / chores done





.... ie. putting the green bin out, the recycling boxes & paper/cardboard bag




{Word Pattern adjustment:}.......... 'i have to be careful in this place'

[olyris]

boddhidharma sat for 9 hours. he did what you said, but he did it properly :)

It doesn't say whether or not he cared yet...

[newfreedom]

boddhidharma sat for 9 hours. he did what you said, but he did it properly :)

It doesn't say whether or not he cared yet...

Yeah 9 is a great number :-)

Wonder how one does it 'properly' then..........

Maybe it was not known at that point if he 'cared'....

interesting info. Olyris.... gud chatting with you.. :Px x

[newfreedom]

Exploring telepathy, clairaudience & channelling

A few weeks ago i began exploring telepathy, clairaudience & channelling with my inner self & my inner landscapes. [telepathy with our pet dog, some birds & trees]

I didn't get a lot, but it was fun & often interesting. i am still open to exploring these areas, but am not currently making the effort to practice directly.


Exploring internal landscapes
i have been listening to some of Tom Campbell videos the last few days & this has inspired me to put some energy & effort into exploring my internal landscapes again.

Method
Closing my eyes & observing


Visual
A large [approx. 1m x 1m] wire square mesh cage top [door] was dropped [shut] onto it's base, it did not fit well.

..... i was then 'pulled' into the scene

i am now inside the cage, the wire mess door top has changed & has extra wire around it's sides. i am closing it down over the top of my head, it so it fits snugly, without any gaps.

It appears to be a dug out pit, with brown soil sides & base & now is approx. 3 times bigger...

... i am out of the scene & back with my physical reality awareness.

Notes
We have ferrets that we allow out in our garden daily & i think the wire door not fitting well, caused me concern for that reason, hence i got 'pulled' into the scene as i felt i needed to put it right/ make it safe.

The wire mesh door & the dug out pit does not resemble any apparatus or equipment we have for our pets.

Visual
i see countryside images, then i see some sheep

......'pulled' into the scene

i am inside the back of a moving car, looking through a back / side small window & these images i see through the window as we travel along...

... i am out of the scene & back with my physical reality awareness.

[newfreedom]

Learning to function with clarity

For the past 2/3 yrs, i have at times been in a 'better' space, where i have been learning & practicing how to function physically with awareness ['being present']

Finally it seems enough issues have been cleared now to allow this process to happen more easily, without all the physical chaos that always ensued previously.

So i am exploring where to put my focus, what to think, what to speak internally, externally and the emotional, physical & environmental responses to doing this.

[newfreedom]

Popping nasal sounds - new healing crisis symptom

Need to research on the internet for physical causes of this :-)x


stiff neck / shoulder left side

[newfreedom]

Checking out the Series 'Victoria'

3 collard doves flew into the front garden to 'support' me....:love::heart::grouphug:x


Victoria: Season 3 Official Preview



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMM56Cg2qoA

[newfreedom]

scary Movie 2
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCFZUZxBVuI)
first explored this movie at the start of awakening process, my children introduced it to me....

spring 2006 ........ now Dec 2019......... 13 and a half yrs later......it's time to ;re-visit' this movie again xxx

[newfreedom]

wave of emotion > < surprise picnic

~~~~~~~

Popeye annual (first published 1992)

'Yohoho'..... & a barrel of fun ! .......:toast: [clanking of mugs]

2454


playgroup assistant info.
signing: finger on lips:
means ssshhhhh! - be quiet, no talking, pay attention, time to listen

[newfreedom]

Watching:


dog whisperer series



dinner ladies t.v. show



Meet Joe Black (https://bflix.to/movie/meet-joe-black-1rym/58vonv)

[newfreedom]

Subtle Energy understandings

......becoming increasingly subtly energy sensitive


Date: 28/09/20
song lyrics : 'long lost pal' --> <-- subtle energy sensations in 3rd eye area

Description of sensations: tingly, a light vibrating motion, very slight physical pain discomfort

[newfreedom]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJT6Wo1adDg&amp;feature=emb_rel_end

[newfreedom]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrZnx7_24Ws&amp;list=PLIRkl6t6mMd80LgtZNzzCmei oIAUqx1Bh&amp;index=29

[newfreedom]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHjieD6CTYs

[newfreedom]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nej-5GhPqtw

[newfreedom]

2480
--------------------------------





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZY9oYSSjFI

[newfreedom]

learning about how i physically respond / act to my thoughts / internal dialogue

[newfreedom]

So it's pretty obvious i am in 'healing' [maddness] mode again....

................

Thankyou all at the AD forum :grouphug:

A very big THAKYOU to Robert, admins. & mods. for making this safe space available :heart:

...very much appreciated :grouphug:

[newfreedom]

because the past wont get out of my way

wild goose xhase chase

my hands are tied

say watt u see

always worth a try

out of time

lets take it away

she's got the world at her feat xxx

[newfreedom]

shat-toe

chateau - Although the French word for 'château' is generally translated as castle it is more likely to mean a country house or a manor house. ... Home to warm summers and rich in agricultural land, more than 300 chateaux that were built in this area between the 10th until the 20th Century


The Real housewives of New York City S.12 E 16

.....not very merry achi

[newfreedom]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gXP8wcICqQ

[newfreedom]

being listening to South Park DVD's in our HomE


o :shock:x

[newfreedom]

i am back a my computer after a few hrs break & am now greeted by my house-fly friend ... h's getting too 'tickly' now & starting to give me the shivers on my ear &on my shoulders & arms ... if he doesnt ease up i might go get a cardi on ... his contact is beginning to feel a little too much, starting to irritate some

[newfreedom]

Date: 22/10/20

I had to spend 2 weeks in the mental health department of a non-local hospital, i had run out of subtle energy support from both the environment & the people / animals living here & could no longer move forward /or out of my current 'state' without 'extra' /additional subtle energy help and the support / care of some unfamiliar humans.

i was able to shift / take-on 'other' persona & mannerisms after being around unfamiliar others & able to leave behind 'stuck' loops of behaviour & functioning that were no longer 'working' / making forward movement possible.

[newfreedom]

Word pattern: 'i can't deal with this'

Once i had heard this 'word pattern' spoken internally the distress & the verbal sounds /ticks cleared

i could think & allow the energy to pass through me, experiencing it now instead as subtle energy movement moving/ coursing through my body

'gigantic tree' - spoken words i heard that were brought to my attention Astral dynamics - Robert Bruce (https://astraldynamics.com/ebook)

[newfreedom]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHydngA5C4E

'learn to say No'
-----------
'pain is a warning that somethings wrong'

----------------

{'pic of kenji & a small orange ball' to be added}

------------------------------------------------------------------

doing too much
--------

trying too hard
--------

i have a habit of doing these...
-------------------------------------

Word-pattern: 'it's not working'

--------------------------

.....causes stress within my physical & emotional bodies

[newfreedom]

Words thought/ internally heard



'not exactly'




better not go there






sound





looking after yourself

-----------------------------

it's better to go sooner

goodness gracious me

[newfreedom]

community

compassion

[newfreedom]

what could it be that you are asking for

[newfreedom]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaKr98ktoxU

(evolution)

[newfreedom]

Words /phrases impressed upon me:

[by subtle means & or physical reality signs & experiences']



talk about
enquiries

[newfreedom]

This Time with Alan Partridge
S. 2 E. 5



https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x81lfvf

[newfreedom]

A beautiful encounter with a moth

2503

2504

2505

[newfreedom]

As soon as i logged on to AD forum, the large black fly that had been busy landing on our dog's empty food bowl, landed on my right hand, that was controlling the mouse to use the computer.

This morning i interacted with a wasp, that briefly landed on my hand.

A few days back the buzzards were supporting us, i was out with Kenji in his end of life days & a buzzard flew so low over our property, i had never seen one that close to the ground before over our home.

Then the day Kenji 'passed' i put his little body on the grass for a short time & then heard loudly the buzzards calling, there were 2 circling above us.

It was comforting to be aware of their presence....

Kenji is going to be individually cremated & then my daughter wants to buy a bonsai tree in a pot kept indoors, to add Kenji's body's ashes to.

A few weeks prior to Kenji passing i added Yuki's body's ashes to the communal area in our garden where many of our pets ashes are put, around the base of our Japanese flowering cherry tree, which my daughter bought for this very purpose