Feeling of loneliness

[Genesis]

How do you get rid of this? If you read my last thread, I "dated" this girl for a while but things ended badly for me. I dont care for that girl anymore, but it was the first girl i dated. Ever since I feel a void in my life. Its not about her, its about wanting to be with someone i think. Ive talked to other girls since then, but it didnt work out. Im a good looking, caring guy but it seems the only girls I attract are "bad" girls or girls that are just not my type.

I feel good most of the time but there are some odd nights like this one where I come home, sit on my bed and feel sadness, pain and loneliness. I thought this feeling would go away for good, but I still get it, although much less frequently.

I just wish I could find a good girl that would love me unconditionally.

Random thread, just felt the need to get this off my chest before going to bed.

[CFTraveler]

It comes and goes, hopefully someday you'll remember this moment and be amazed at how your different your life turned out.

[Korpo]

How many friends do you have? And how many of them can you really talk to when it comes to emotions? How many do share the same intellectual pursuits as you do?

[IA56]

You say that you only attract girl´s whom are not good for you....here is the key...your inner injury or defect or affect attract´s likely person´s so you can be aware of your inner attractment, when you solve this you will attract other kind of persons to you.

I am not good to put in word´s so I hope I do not offend you, it is not my intention....

[DarkChylde]

Hanging out with friends and socializing more , not really giving yourself the chance to sit mull and brood things over has always worked for me .

[susan]

Hanging out with friends and socializing more , not really giving yourself the chance to sit mull and brood things over has always worked for me .

Forgive me but I haven't seen your previous threads so I may be missing the point here but what I read was that you are a caring guy but just seem to attract the wrong type.
In my understanding we need to know right from wrong . Good from bad.
Anyone sucessful at a subject has has taken time to study it and THINK.
If your meeting the wrong type of persons now, (You know they are wrong.)
When the right one comes along you will KNOW ( because you have compared )
PATIENCE PATIENCE PATIENCE)

[ButterflyWoman]

We attract what/who we attract because of our beliefs about ourselves, our world, our reality, and so on. Change your beliefs, change your mind, and you change your reality. (Voice of experience here; I used to attract men who were most definitely not good for me, but I don't care to elaborate on that.)

Also, the feeling of loneliness is not necessarily alleviated by having a romantic partner. I used to feel that so acutely that I felt alone in a crowd, alone with friends, alone with a lover, alone pretty much always. Again, that was my own belief system and worldview coming into play. When that changed, healed, the situation I experienced changed, as well.

[DarkChylde]

Forgive me but I haven't seen your previous threads so I may be missing the point here but what I read was that you are a caring guy but just seem to attract the wrong type.
In my understanding we need to know right from wrong . Good from bad.
Anyone sucessful at a subject has has taken time to study it and THINK.
If your meeting the wrong type of persons now, (You know they are wrong.)
When the right one comes along you will KNOW ( because you have compared )
PATIENCE PATIENCE PATIENCE)

Hi susan , np.
i dont think i groked that so im kind of bit worried, im attracting wrong people? like how? who are these people i attracted and what exactly are they doing to me susan?
i thought the OP was asking essentially about how transition out of breakups better? .. so i wrote what i thought is helpful as it helped me - thats honestly all :shock:

[Genesis]

How many friends do you have? And how many of them can you really talk to when it comes to emotions? How many do share the same intellectual pursuits as you do?

I have a lot of friends, but I don't like talking about my emotions to them. Especially when it comes to love matters.


We attract what/who we attract because of our beliefs about ourselves, our world, our reality, and so on. Change your beliefs, change your mind, and you change your reality. (Voice of experience here; I used to attract men who were most definitely not good for me, but I don't care to elaborate on that.)

Also, the feeling of loneliness is not necessarily alleviated by having a romantic partner. I used to feel that so acutely that I felt alone in a crowd, alone with friends, alone with a lover, alone pretty much always. Again, that was my own belief system and worldview coming into play. When that changed, healed, the situation I experienced changed, as well.

I only started feeling this loneliness after I stopped talking to the first girl I was dating. I had never had a girl I talked to 24/7 before that so I couldn't have felt lonely. I rarely get that feeling anymore, though. These past days have been good for me. I get an odd day in a month where I feel bad, but I've honestly been feeling much better lately. My self-confidence has risen a lot in these past months.

Anyways, I went on a date with a new girl last week. Date went well and she seems into me. She wants to go out again, so I'll probably contact her soon. I don't think she's the serious type, I guess I'll just go along with it and have some fun a bit.

[ButterflyWoman]

Honestly, it didn't occur to me that you were just talking about the normal, usual kind of lonely feelings that people get when they break up with someone. This forum tends to go a little deeper than that, generally speaking, which is why I assumed more.

But the thing about attracting people and situations still stands, even if it doesn't make any sense to you (it will to someone who reads this, anyway).

[Genesis]

Honestly, it didn't occur to me that you were just talking about the normal, usual kind of lonely feelings that people get when they break up with someone. This forum tends to go a little deeper than that, generally speaking, which is why I assumed more.

But the thing about attracting people and situations still stands, even if it doesn't make any sense to you (it will to someone who reads this, anyway).

I don't quite get what you mean, though. Are you saying I attract people that are like me? Or my beliefs cause me to attract bad people? I'm not sure how that works. I don't think who I am would cause me to attract bad people, because I don't think I'm a bad person.

[IA56]

No no no ...you are absolutely not a bad person, you are very very very loving and caring person, I sense also very humorous string in you....so you are very entertaning person too and nice to be around.

But....

The key is to look and understand the people you attract is telling you what you should change in you...this is not easy to say or tell in right way, but if you look at the people you are drawn to...and see the parts you do not like is the parts you should recognize in your self to work with.....Nothing happens by change, all is there to help us to be more whole and loving persons, if we do not love all in us we will always meet persons who will awaken this in us to be aware of so we can do something about it.

So keep up the good work.

[ButterflyWoman]

Who said anything about being a bad person?

Your beliefs, your attitudes, your thoughts, that's what I'm talking about. Often, we're not even consciously aware of these thought patterns. I can tell you I used to attract men who were less than ideal, because of the way I viewed the world, myself, men in general, and so forth. When my thoughts, beliefs, self-image, etc. changed, so did the men I attracted (for the better, I might add).

Being the genesis of something is not the same as being to blame for it, nor does it mean you're "bad".

This is pretty elemental metaphysics here. I had no idea you were unfamiliar with these concepts, or I would have worded it differently. I apologise for confusing you.

I think I'd better stop talking. I fear I'm doing more harm than good.

[DarkChylde]

genesis i saw this and thaught of this thread , hope u dont mind this as off topic :-)
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