Is this it or do i have a chance

[smith99]

Hi all Just join this site and already after advice lol

Bascally i have just split up from my girlfriend of three years well she split up with me and i will admit it is my fault. I have messed up in so many ways i will try and tell the story and i'm just after some guidance please

My ex is 9 years younger than me i'm 30 she is 21 but very grown up. we have been going out for 3 years and lived together for 1 year at my parents house. The first 2.5 years were great we had our arguments but who doesn't but the last few months i have let her down massivly.

I haven't cheated or anything like that mainly it's been a few litle white lies about stuipd stuff that she always finds out about and then the final nail in the coffin was i didn't tell her somthing and she found out from one of her family members. The same day she left and went to stay at a friends.

The relationship was a commited relationship and she always wanted to settle down and kids and marraige etc I did want these things but never really showed or followed up on this. The day she left i decided to give her some space we had a bit of contact but not much she was stopping at her friends until some family members came back from holiday so she could move in there.

The day she was to move in we had a converstation and she was in two minds what to do i gave her the choice i didn't want to push her. Looking back this was a mistake i should have tried harder there and then. But she decided to move in with her family. I still gave her time then last thursday i went away for a few days with family and the first day thier i just broke down and thats where it goes from bad to worse.

I started begging and pleading with her to take me back sending texts emails everything constantly asking for another chance in the end she said to me there was no futre and the she loved me but wasn't in love with me this just made me worse i went over the edge and started pleading more and sending the flowers etc at this point she said she would meet up with me and tell me to my face.

I met with her yesterday but i had decided to change my tack. I realised what a fool i was being and that my actions would just push her away. When we met up i started of by saying how sorry i was about the way i had been acting and that it wouldn't happen again. I also told her i loved her and she would always have a special place in my heart and that i way extremly sorry for what i had done in the first place.

We then went for a coffee and had a good time consdiering but i did keep catching her looking into my eyes the shyly turning away. She then said to me she had to be nasty with some of the things she said to make me understand . I don't know if this means she didn't mean them or what. She also said she did miss me at the begining but was ok now apart from she has to sleep next to some pillows at night i don't know if she was just being strong. We parted on good terms. At this stage i decided to back of I decided i would inatiate no more contact i would let her contact me.

Within a few hours she texted asking if i was ok i just said yes are you. She asked why i not texted and i said i thought she wanted me not to which she kind of made a joke out of. I texted her no more last night then this morning i was determind not to text her which i didn't. The thing is i was always texting her last thing at night to say night and first thing in the morning to say good morning but i didn't do that last night or this morning. Then at 8 this morning when she knew i would be up i get a text saying hope you have a good first day back at work and i'll text you tomorrow to let me know how she gets on at her driving test. All i put back was I'm sure i'll be busy and good look on your test which she then thanked me for. I'm determind not to text her again till she text's me.

What do you guys/girls think am i doing the right thing to get her back i love her so much and we can be so good together i'm going crazy and just want to go back to how i was last week pleading with her which i know is silly. Or do you think this is over. All in we will have been apart 2 weeks tomorrow

Many Thanks

[CFTraveler]

I think it's too soon to tell- two weeks is not long in relationship time.
Maybe this is the time to get to know yourself, to find out why you lied to her when you were with her. Was it a power thing? Was it your way of being in control? When you were together, who had the power in the relationship?
Sometimes you need to be apart to find out if you are right for each other, and instead of wondering how she feels, you should focus on what you feel, and what you need to change to make a relationship work, whether it's with her or someone else.
.02.

[her crow]

you don't have to lie to the person you love. it is a wonderful feeling when you know that you CAN tell the truth. well, if you can't, then maybe this partner is not really the one.

[LPCF]

Just a suggestion: perhaps you could work on your own spirituality before thinking about continuing this relationship or even starting a new one? Think through all the things you think you may have done wrong in your relationship: you mentioning lying to her - and perhaps there were others, as well?

If you can purify your soul, reject lying, deceit, etc. it will give your relationship a much brighter future. My very best wishes to you for happiness in the future!