CFTraveler
9th August 2011, 03:20 AM
I'm making a post that will stand by itself because it is something that has been bugging me for many years- this is a recurring dream that I really have not understood.
It began before I got into esoteric pursuits, and even though many years have passed I still don't understand what it means, neither psychologically nor metaphysically, besides the obvious. And I feel it can't be the obvious, because many years have passed, I know how I feel about him, yet the dreams continue.
My father passed away in the eighties, when I was in my early thirties. He and I were somewhat close and had similar tastes in UFO lore and religion and alternative history, amongst other things, and I always thought when he passed away I'd receive some sort of 'otherwordly' visit from him, especially because he loved to tell us stories about his tio Tono, who, after passing away, would throw pebbles at his aunt's window just as he did in life. This was one of his favorite stories. He had a few others.
Anyway, I expected something 'like that' from him, but nothing unusual happened until years later when his sister passed, and I had my first "front porch" dream, in which I went and saw him and other of my deceased relatives, and he told me of something which was going to pass. About a year later it became clear that this was a visitation and not just a dream. I didn't see him until later when I developed the ability to project on purpose, and this was many years later, when I learned it from Robert.
Well, to my 'situation'- about a year or two after his death (and before the visitation) I dreamed that I went somewhere and there was my dad. He simply sat there and looked at me. I was surprised to see him but did not know to ask him about being dead or anything of the sort- I was lucid enough to know he wasn't supposed 'to be alive' but not enough to go and ask him.
At some part of the dream others (not him) told me that he had been dead for three years and now had come back. This was perplexing to me- everyone in the dream talked about him (but not in front of him) as 'gossip', talking how he had been dead for three years and now he was back- physically (in the dream), in his body, and he looked fortyish in the dream, which is a little younger than how old he was when he died, but not by much- he had his white hair (he turned prematurely gray in his forties, just like I did. At fifty three I have mostly white hair, and I have to dye it so I don't look like one of those blue haired old ladies. Have had grey since my thirties, but when I turned fifty it went white all the way.
But I'm digressing.
Every two or three years, I would have the dream in which I'm hanging out with him, and he would say things to me like "I'm back" or he would tell me he was back but now he had somewhere else to go' and then I wouldn't dream about him for one or two years, and he'd be back in my dreams. I think the last time I dreamed we were having breakfast together in a cafe, and when my mom passed he was in the parking lot putting bags in the trunk of a car. I assumed this was symbolic.
But what has bugged me is that there has been this theme that is sometimes mentioned in these dreams, and it is that he was dead for three years and came back in his old body.
Sometimes I wonder in the dream how his body could reconstitute after two entire years, and for many years I was afraid to ask him about it. The thing is that the times I have tried to ask him I wake up right away, and finally this morning I asked him (see today's entry in my diary) and he didn't remember how it was like to be dead.
Yet, I get the impression that I have asked him (maybe it's in one of my entries, they're not all recorded because some of them happened before I was writing my dreams down) that he did answer and it was that he didn't remember it- as if he had woken up from sleeping, and he didn't know how it happened.
Now this morning he said he didn't remember, and supposedly went into a tomb.
I'm not sure what this means, but if anyone has a similar experience or insight I'm curious, at the very least.
ps. I'm aware that previously it has been 'after three years', while this morning it was 'after two years'. I haven't gone back to see if it's consistently the same- but I get the feeling that it's my memory, and that it's been three all along, and this morning I got it wrong.
It began before I got into esoteric pursuits, and even though many years have passed I still don't understand what it means, neither psychologically nor metaphysically, besides the obvious. And I feel it can't be the obvious, because many years have passed, I know how I feel about him, yet the dreams continue.
My father passed away in the eighties, when I was in my early thirties. He and I were somewhat close and had similar tastes in UFO lore and religion and alternative history, amongst other things, and I always thought when he passed away I'd receive some sort of 'otherwordly' visit from him, especially because he loved to tell us stories about his tio Tono, who, after passing away, would throw pebbles at his aunt's window just as he did in life. This was one of his favorite stories. He had a few others.
Anyway, I expected something 'like that' from him, but nothing unusual happened until years later when his sister passed, and I had my first "front porch" dream, in which I went and saw him and other of my deceased relatives, and he told me of something which was going to pass. About a year later it became clear that this was a visitation and not just a dream. I didn't see him until later when I developed the ability to project on purpose, and this was many years later, when I learned it from Robert.
Well, to my 'situation'- about a year or two after his death (and before the visitation) I dreamed that I went somewhere and there was my dad. He simply sat there and looked at me. I was surprised to see him but did not know to ask him about being dead or anything of the sort- I was lucid enough to know he wasn't supposed 'to be alive' but not enough to go and ask him.
At some part of the dream others (not him) told me that he had been dead for three years and now had come back. This was perplexing to me- everyone in the dream talked about him (but not in front of him) as 'gossip', talking how he had been dead for three years and now he was back- physically (in the dream), in his body, and he looked fortyish in the dream, which is a little younger than how old he was when he died, but not by much- he had his white hair (he turned prematurely gray in his forties, just like I did. At fifty three I have mostly white hair, and I have to dye it so I don't look like one of those blue haired old ladies. Have had grey since my thirties, but when I turned fifty it went white all the way.
But I'm digressing.
Every two or three years, I would have the dream in which I'm hanging out with him, and he would say things to me like "I'm back" or he would tell me he was back but now he had somewhere else to go' and then I wouldn't dream about him for one or two years, and he'd be back in my dreams. I think the last time I dreamed we were having breakfast together in a cafe, and when my mom passed he was in the parking lot putting bags in the trunk of a car. I assumed this was symbolic.
But what has bugged me is that there has been this theme that is sometimes mentioned in these dreams, and it is that he was dead for three years and came back in his old body.
Sometimes I wonder in the dream how his body could reconstitute after two entire years, and for many years I was afraid to ask him about it. The thing is that the times I have tried to ask him I wake up right away, and finally this morning I asked him (see today's entry in my diary) and he didn't remember how it was like to be dead.
Yet, I get the impression that I have asked him (maybe it's in one of my entries, they're not all recorded because some of them happened before I was writing my dreams down) that he did answer and it was that he didn't remember it- as if he had woken up from sleeping, and he didn't know how it happened.
Now this morning he said he didn't remember, and supposedly went into a tomb.
I'm not sure what this means, but if anyone has a similar experience or insight I'm curious, at the very least.
ps. I'm aware that previously it has been 'after three years', while this morning it was 'after two years'. I haven't gone back to see if it's consistently the same- but I get the feeling that it's my memory, and that it's been three all along, and this morning I got it wrong.