Beekeeper's Adventures in Consciousness

[Korpo]

For me it's either lions, or tigers, or bears. Oh, my! ;)

[Beekeeper]

For me it's either lions, or tigers, or bears. Oh, my! ;)

I guess they're pretty primal fears. It probably reflects anxieties about the start of term and getting the work I need to get done ready before then. I have almost exclusively a senior load this year and I'm teaching a couple of subjects I haven't taught for some years. That, or the bear is a self-aspect releasing anger/frustration.

24th January, 2012
Tuesday

“Waiting for Linda”
I’m in a house with Wolfgang and some others and we’re waiting for Linda to arrive for some yoga. I’m dressed in my pyjamas and I’m climbing over the bed, improvising yoga type moves while I wait for her.

There’s a knock at the door and someone (Wolfgang?) answers Linda. I see her through a mist while she is at the door and I feel strange; the environment suddenly feels mysterious.

I forget a whole lot of stuff that happens next. ~
“In bed with Harry.”
I’m in bed with Harry and, again, we seem to be expecting someone. We’re reading something together and talking but I soon realize that Harry’s too old for us to be in bed together, even though he’s a bit younger in the dream than in current waking reality. I get up and leave.

“The meat factory”
I’m working at a meat factory. I haven’t been given instructions so I’m waiting, unsure of what I should do. While I wait, two bullocks pull a heavy trolley loaded with meat. They struggle with the weight and I’m in awe of both their amazing strength and the fact that they are used for such a job. As in the previous dream, I suddenly feel strange again.

A couple of workers come by and want to know why I’m not done. My job is to load bones onto a large metal trolley with two layers of shelves. I begin immediately and they help. We move fast.

Note: this one is very strange indeed. With it’s references to meat, I wonder if it was a dream translating something happening in my body as I slept. I fleetingly contemplated such dreams yesterday.

[Beekeeper]

26th January, 2012
Thursday

“The F problem”
I pass some teachers and I hear them complaining about a student. They talk about how he’s always yawning and stretching his neck due to stiffness and I know they’re talking about F. I hear them discussing changing his teacher because he’s being rude to her, “with his constant references to the state premier.” I cannot hold my tongue and ask if it’s F they’re talking about and they confirm.

Note:
I wake up at this point. The night has turned hot after beginning in a mercifully cool way and I’m still under blankets, so disturbing dreams are par for the course. F, as far as I know, never had issues with any of his (physical) teachers, quite the opposite in fact. He does, however, suffer from neck stiffness and when he complains he refuses to acknowledge that it’s caused by long periods gaming on his computer. The odd quote about the premier would allude to his deep knowledge and intense interest in politics.

This dream causes me to momentarily stew on an unrelated issue where an attempt was recently made to curb my own expression. Then a thought suddenly hits me: F is on the computer right now. I get up to see. It’s 2.22am and, sure enough, I find him playing a game, chatting to his friend at a distance. I send him to bed.

I return to bed and begin to phase into a dream. Someone comes too close to me and I shrug him off with my left shoulder. I feel this as an etheric movement (lots of those lately) and try to phase again. Scenery starts to form but again I pull out of it. Eventually I go to sleep without phasing.

Fragments:

“Bridge”
I walk across an iron bridge. I know I’ve been here before and I begin to question if I’ve come the right way. I thought I was heading south and now it appears I’ve gone north, or the other way around. I was in a car at some point.

“Jenny”
Jenny, G’s cousin whom we rarely see, is trying to buy something (a yoga pass?) but struggling so I offer to help her. It costs more than Jenny knew but the lady takes less money for it. We talk while we exchange money, both with a concern for Jenny’s welfare.

There’s something more vague about being with people at a party. I have food in my hand and I’m standing with others talking.

[Beekeeper]

28th January, 2012
Saturday
I seemed to have the same dream throughout my dreaming periods last night. I can’t remember details, only it seemed a combination of things I’d been enjoying throughout the last week of school holidays: “Stargate Atlantas” and “Downton Abbey.” I do recall being on a spaceship and a woman with a broad rimmed hat. I found myself with a problem to solve. I was given some kind of schematic and I was able to discern from that that I needed to get out of the room I was in, which may have been a room within a room. Anyway, I soon find myself on my feet and trying to get out of the dream room in physical reality. When I became aware of my position, I began to laugh and when G asked me what it was, I told him I was on a spaceship trying to get out of a room. I might blame a late night and the pseudoephedrine for such a silliness but then, this morning, G told me he became disoriented when going to the loo last night and kept walking into different walls of the bedroom. :lol: Okay, we had been out earlier and we did drink a bit but not that much.

[Beekeeper]

Yesterday in the liminal state before waking: G has bruises on hi face.:?

29th January, 2012.
Sunday.
“Moving away”
I’m about to move into an apartment at ANU but there’s been an error and my apartment has been given to someone else. I’m angry and berating the woman in charge who, apparently, doesn’t care a whole lot.

G is driving me towards the uni and I have my belongings in the car. H is in the car too. I begin to wonder why I’m going back to uni anyway. Am I going to do a new degree for the next 3 or 4 years? It makes me sad to be away from my family and I know they’ll feel the same. I decide it must be only for a year and that I’ll at least be with F. Then that seems too much and I decide it will only be for 6 months.

Note: At this point I’m making the dream up consciously even though I’m still dreaming and not lucid.

~There’s something about having lost a shoe or pairs of shoes. I’ve been with a group of people and now I’m trying to gather my shoes together.~

I have a room at uni lodge now and G and I are sitting on my bed. At the end of the room Cath M and Margaret M are talking (they’ve never met IRL). G and I want to make out and they don’t seem to notice what we’re up to until I decide I wish to ensure our privacy. There are six doors down either side of my room and I want to lock them all. It’s then Cath notices us and begins to challenge us about our canoodling. I tell her we’re married and we’re entitled to our privacy. She goes off to check our papers and returns to inform us that we’re not married yet, only engaged, and therefore we will not be permitted intimacy. She waits, obviously with no intention of leaving us alone.

Note: Cath hasn’t appeared in my dreams before. She’s an elderly spinster that manages the chapel at my work. She’s known for being very old-fashioned, dictatorial and repressive. In former days she had been the school’s librarian and there are tales about her censorship of the art books that included nudes. I don’t have a problem with her but it’s funny how well her image fits the role in this dream.

I'm back at work tomorrow and F is off to his orientation week in a week or so. I think these things have become conflated and I'm simply expressing anxiety in this dream.

“The boy who walks ahead”
I’ve been on a bus that drops others and me at the M bends. I’m walking back to Gainsborough* (so I must be “living” in either of our former houses). I momentarily see something aberrant like a ghost. Then I become aware of two things: it’s getting dark and there’s a teen boy walking in front of me. I sense he’s scared of me; too scared to look behind because it’s getting dark. I don’t want him to be afraid and I’d prefer we were allies in the dark. I’m aware of those behind and will turn my attention to them too eventually but for now I plan to speak to the boy, to tell him we should walk together to create security for ourselves.

*I'd normally delete place names like this but I think sometimes they can be meaningful to the dream. In this case, I suspect that my return to full time work and the subsequent financial "gain" creates a kind of darkness/despair (nicely repressed in waking reality) that is, no doubt, shared by the teen boys we teach.

[Beekeeper]

30th January, 2012
Monday

I can’t find a Year 7 class and the school is unfamiliar to me. I’ll apparently find them in the art classroom but I don’t know where that is.

F has something like a hotrod that he’s going to drive to Canberra. I get in the passenger seat behind him. He heads off but I think he’s gone the wrong way and say so. He’s uncertain of himself but then I’m not sure he has gone the wrong way. I tell him I think I could be wrong; there’s probably a way there the way we’re going and no need to change direction.

I’m standing against a wall with some primary school children. I ask a little girl if it’s okay if I stand there and she moves away a bit or asks for more room in order to be more comfortable. I oblige.

I seem to be returning to this scene of primary school children and this time I see a mother and around her some of the children are smoking. I think she’s trying to be a “cool” mum but notice her own child hasn’t been permitted to smoke. I wonder about her relationship to the children, and if she takes some responsibility for their behavior.

~I’m seeing a new environment that seems to incorporate a number of new bathrooms, as in public toilets. The area, however, seems domestic. I’ve been cleaning and maintaining and Mum has been taking a shower. She has come out and inspected a wall unit, expressing approval that it has been dusted well. I resent the surprise in her voice that betrays her habitual lack of appreciation.

Now I’m telling some people about this at the basins. They seem fascinated by my imitation of Mum’s voice.

31st of January, 2012 (Already!)
Tuesday

I’m at the back door of the home where I was raised. I look outside into a night sky where a single large saucer is passing, lights blinking. Something about it feels ominous.

I’m in the hallway with 5 pre-teens (presumably I’m one too). I think there’s only one other girl, probably my younger sister. We’re sitting on the floor, sharing a blanket, which isn’t sufficient for our number. The boys in particular are making noise, creating a sleepover atmosphere and sharing junk food, which one of them seems to have fetched from the kitchen. I think I tell them about the UFO I’ve seen earlier.

Simultaneously or intermittently I’m a mother with two daughters, similarly seated on the floor and attempting to cover our selves with something; this time a man’s thick cotton t-shirt. There’s a heavy energy on the shirt that I consider unwholesome so I take it out to the back yard and shake it continuously, checking every-so-often to see if it has lightened.

Note: Exhausted last night and it was extremely hot so we slept with windows open and the fan blowing.

[Beekeeper]

3rd February, 2012
Friday

Fragments.
“Miserable Baby”
There’s a baby propped up in a wooden chair. It is stiff, as if it’s swaddled and can’t move but I don’t recall seeing a sheet wrapped around it. I feel sorry for it and pick it up to cuddle it but it begins to cry, so I place it back on the chair.

Now I see ants all over it’s neck and set about washing them off with water.

“Mineral makeup.”
I’m with another woman, probably my younger sister though I don’t recall seeing her. We’re having a mineral makeup applied by a department store beautician. The person I’m with suggests we try one with a gold base and I’m of a like mind.

[Beekeeper]

4th February, 2012.
Saturday.

“Gabrielle’s Whales”
~ I’m in Gabrielle’s house and there are some other people there too. We’re trying to help her by keeping her house in order. There’s something about her tap and sink that draws my attention. ~ I look through the window and see waves crashing to shore and then I notice three whales riding them so I become excited and run outside with the other people.

Now the whales seem to be smaller and multiplied. It matters little that they’re dolphins; I’m still excited and running through the waves towards them. I’m lifting my skirt, aware that I’m exposing undies rather than swimmers but not overly perplexed.

Note: Gabrielle is currently stuck in Tasmania. While holidaying as a couple, her partner had a stroke and she has since been living at the hospital engaged in a bedside vigil. She’s been sending me daily texts updating his condition and I’ve also been given her senior class to teach in her absence, so she’s on my mind a lot.

“The artist from the 1950s.”
This is an older setting: the 50s perhaps. I’m a young woman and we’re poor. An artist lives with us - an older man with whom I’m infatuated, although I’m not immediately aware of these feelings at the beginning of the dream. It starts with me looking at some of his pencil drawings: nudes of my friend Lindell from WR. She too is a younger woman. I like the drawings: Lindell is very curvaceous and somehow the artist conveys a love for women through these curves. There’s a gentleness and tenderness about him and I’m drawn to it.

Now I’m in a wooden shack with my “family”. I sense Dad is very restrictive but perhaps not as brutal as my WR father was/is. I’m seated with family members near a window that possibly lacks a pane and I see a crowd of young people lined up outside as if for a dance. Again, the era feels 1950s. I’m amazed and amused that our little shack will be used for a dance.

~ Something odd about the family’s baby crawling out the window.
~ More about the artist. Loving him now and feeling loved in return. There’s a sexual element but I suspect this is more about feeling than any kind of act. There’s a sense that he’s genuine and has my best interest at heart. He’s perhaps too old for me or feels my father will forbid a relationship between us.~
~ Kissing a thin blond girl called Mary who is slightly my senior and is part of the family or household. It’s a non-sexual kiss but prolonged as if to suggest my tremendous affection for her. She shortens it and puts me aside as if she has other things to get on with.

[Beekeeper]

5th February, 2012.
Sunday.

Dreams aren’t a priority presently and subsequently I’m finding recall difficult. There was plenty of dreaming last night because I slept in this morning, which is unusual for me, but I read a bunch of links before writing this because I knew already that I wasn’t going to remember much. The most interesting aspect of the night was phasing back into a dream after getting up in response to G’s snoring and using the toilet. I’d been dreaming that I’d left something valuable in a car and left the car unlocked. No sooner had I walked away than another car pulled up, someone jumped out and stole my car. I guess that’s a dream about autonomy and being careless with giving away my personal freedom. (Funnily enough I just left the e out of careless and typed “carless”). Anyway, it wasn’t a particularly great dream but I could remember the bleak environment and so I was able to envision it as I fell asleep again and find myself lucid and driving in a new dream. For some reason that only lasted a few seconds and I was awake again, raising energy and meditating.

After that I dreamt someone called me (probably our insurance broker) and spoke to me at length about G’s well being. It seemed he felt that G was working too hard and suggested I work harder instead. It triggered a sense of injustice in me and I found myself preparing to argue the contrary. I wonder if there’s any point to dreams such as this. They seem pointless in as much as they don’t process or challenge anything that hasn’t already been processed or challenged consciously nor do they give sweet relief from the pressures of daily life.

[Beekeeper]

“Gabrielle’s Whales”
~ I’m in Gabrielle’s house and there are some other people there too. We’re trying to help her by keeping her house in order. There’s something about her tap and sink that draws my attention. ~ I look through the window and see waves crashing to shore and then I notice three whales riding them so I become excited and run outside with the other people.

Now the whales seem to be smaller and multiplied. It matters little that they’re dolphins; I’m still excited and running through the waves towards them. I’m lifting my skirt, aware that I’m exposing undies rather than swimmers but not overly perplexed.

Note: Gabrielle is currently stuck in Tasmania. While holidaying as a couple, her partner had a stroke and she has since been living at the hospital engaged in a bedside vigil. She’s been sending me daily texts updating his condition and I’ve also been given her senior class to teach in her absence, so she’s on my mind a lot.

I sent Gabrielle a text about that dream. She told me she and her niece had been planning to swim with dolphins that day.

[Beekeeper]

6th February, 2012.
Monday.

“Doctor’s prescription.”
I’m at a doctor’s office. It’s Christine Page http://bizspirit.com/spkrfullbio/science09/sci09_PageC.html and she tells I’ve gained 7.5 kilos since last I visited her. She suggests I take up dancing to lose the weight. ~

“Les’ Decision.”
I’m somewhere with Mum and Les and we need to get something a two to three hour drive away. The drive ends up taking me to the suburb where I was raised and being somewhat shorter than three hours. I’m impressed by Les’ decision-making in this respect because he has saved us a trip into Sydney.

“Let’s Get Physical.”
Amelia R appears to be in the same car and she starts singing “Let’s Get Physical” by Olivia Newton John. She knows the lyrics but they don’t seem to be the same as in WR.
Note: Another night where sequence is hard to work out. I believe the last part of the dream occurred with other dreams between. I woke up with “Let’s Get Physical” playing in my head.

“Chris R’s watch.”
I’m watching Chris R watching a set of double glass doors on a first storey of his home. Apparently there’s something not functioning and he can’t lock them and so he watches for theft.

I’m away from my old family home wondering if I could remotely operate a toy racing car with my mind.

“Mrs H.”
I’m talking with a teacher when my old English teacher from high school joins us. Eventually I make the statement that she was my English and Religious Studies teacher. I expect her to react warmly but there’s no reaction at all. ~

Note :Mrs H never taught me religion.

“Sexist jerk.”
There’s a father talking to me about his son at school. He seems a very smug man. He comments on my friend Bridget (who hasn’t worked with me for years) being hefty or broad, or some other such word, and I don’t like him. As he talks, I see he has a hole in his shorts and when I get to speak to Bridget after the encounter I ask her if she could see his penis. She says she didn’t notice.

“Triplet infants.”
I’m looking at three babies in a pram. I think there are twins there but the mother corrects me, calling them triplets. I then think they are two boys and a girl but the mother again corrects me, perhaps changing their nappies so I can see, telling me they’re all girls and that she plans to send them to Catholic school.

[newfreedom]

“Let’s Get Physical.”
Amelia R appears to be in the same car and she starts singing “Let’s Get Physical” by Olivia Newton John. She knows the lyrics but they don’t seem to be the same as in WR.
Note: Another night where sequence is hard to work out. I believe the last part of the dream occurred with other dreams between. I woke up with “Let’s Get Physical” playing in my head.

i like this one, definately a message for me.....:lol2:

I had good day yesterday in terms of 'getting physical'..... and managed to do some chores within the home that i've been 'looking at' and contemplating doing for weeks... hope to get-on and do some more today...

Thanks for sharing...xx

[CFTraveler]

Earworm. Aaagh! :banghead:

[Beekeeper]

I had good day yesterday in terms of 'getting physical'..... and managed to do some chores within the home that i've been 'looking at' and contemplating doing for weeks... hope to get-on and do some more today...

Hope it's all finished now. Me, was getting sore and decrepit from time spent over schoolwork but I've addressed it for the moment at least.


Earworm. Aaagh! :banghead:
Sorry about that.

Life is kind of sucking presently, as I knew it would with the return to full working hours. I've let my dream journal go because I sometimes just do not have enough morning time for recording (even though I'm up by 6.30 or earlier if anxious about work). Anyway, no point beating myself up over it. Anyway, here are some I didn't get around to posting - just double checking first to delete the naughty bits.

8th January, 2012.
Wednesday

~I walk with Helen L, explaining what palmistry says about hand shape. I tell her she has the light hand of a sensitive but I have the squared off palm of a practical person and the knobbily knuckles of a philosopher. She seems disinterested and retires to her room. ~

Somehow I have received a package. It’s information of a New Age kind and comes with a voice recording. I listen to an American man talking about Jesus Christ living today as a shaman in the Carpathian Mountains. He talks about a white powder that can cause lights to ignite just by being in close proximity. I feel there is more to the powder; that it has potential to do something for humanity.

Then I notice a slat bed on the floor nearby. It’s minus a mattress and there are lights under the bed on either side of where the pillow would lie. I see that three packets of powder have arrived with the recording and that one has been torn open, spilling some of its powder contents and now the lights on the floor are shining bright.

There’s an interruption in the man’s talk - other less interesting items - and so I walk away and start to wash dishes. There’s a muddle up and I realize Jacquie is washing dishes at another sink or placing them in a dishwasher and we needn’t both have been doing dishes.

Later I hear his voice resume and I return to the recording to hear more. I am hopeful.

10th February, 2012

.....

I’ve been teaching Erin D something. Now I teach other adults. Someone beside me is trying to teach too (a black woman?) but she wants me to help her with her words.

Watching some girls dance. One is more flexible than the others and lifts her leg right up by her ear. Another comes to me after the performance. She seems to be a friend and says she hurt her leg a bit.

.....

Helen S drives a car right through the front door of some people's house. A man approaches and Helen is amused with herself while I am shocked by her behavior. He doesn’t get angry. I notice a bump in the floor with a little travelator/conveyor belt over it that runs continuously. I wonder if that costs them a lot of money in electricity.

I spot Daniel C and his dad dancing over to my left.

I’m on a computer screen. I see an advertisement for a book by a new Facebook member. His nic is the same as the book title which has the word Gray in it, "Kurt of Gray ---" perhaps. Somehow I know it’s Kurt Leland.

13th February, 2012.
Monday

“Marie.”
I’m with Marie. For some reason, I don’t feel comfortable. Perhaps it’s her birthday and I don’t have a present because I look in a wardrobe to see if I can find something for her, briefly contemplate a wide plastic belt, and then think better of it.

She’s exhibiting pride in her youngest daughter who is undertaking some type of development acceleration.

“Giraffe threat.”
I’m in a school playground a long way from the school buildings. G has warned me about a giraffe but I’m not really too worried. G is in a black armoured vehicle and it seems to me that in trying to protect me he inadvertently provokes the giraffe, which starts to kick and buck. It’s impressively tall and, while I’m still not entirely convinced of it’s inherent danger, I start to run. I have a baby in my arms and so there’s more at stake now. The creature pursues and I wonder if I can find some tables and benches under which to hide. I still have a sense of humour about this but I also know that the giraffe could hurt me.

“Mr. D and teachers.”
I’m with a group of students. Mr. D our high school art teacher sits opposite us, running some activity. I’m polite and attentive even though I have little respect for Mr. D: he was a very poor teacher who never prepared lessons, rarely taught or directed and sometimes didn’t bother to come to class at all. He apparently felt teaching us was beneath him. In the dream, we were apparently supposed to go for a swim but he failed to organize it. As he mentions this, I see the swimming pool. Instead of swimming, he’s going to do a spinal twist/ matsyendrasana warm up with the group. I see him try to commence the posture but he already can’t remember how to instruct it, so I tell him I’m a yoga teacher and ask if he’d like me to take us through it. He agrees and I instruct and demonstrate while the students follow.

Now we’re all in a single bed. I’m squashed up a little against the wall with Mr. D’s back to me and the others presumably on the other side of him.

We’re in groups around tables discussing experiences as teachers and parents. A woman beside me has four babies and asks me to hold them while she does something. I take them for her and it feels odd having so many at once. I feel their weight and warmth in my lap and also let one suck on my figure, resulting a most vivid dream sensation.

I overhear a bit of a woman’s conversation, intrigued that her daughter is called Carmela, which I think is a very Maltese name. When I elicit a repeat statement from her, it seems I’ve misheard. She talks about her husband taking her daughter through an accelerated development programme and somehow the dream starts pulling back to the earlier dream with Marie.

One of the women stands and leaves the table saying something about her work as a physiotherapist (the job Marie does in WR) and I think it curious she’s at a teacher training when she’s a physio. I decide she must be changing professions.

[Beekeeper]

16th February, 2012
Thursday.

Fragments:
I’m at Seven Hills making a roll that I overfill with prawns and salad. I have trouble wrapping it because the wrap is too short so I add another piece. Mum is nearby.

I’m maybe high school aged. We sit on chairs in a semi-circle, as we once did in my senior art class but I don’t feel I’m necessarily a senior. A teacher returns art portfolios. I can’t remember what my cover illustration looks like, I suspect I didn’t even notice it, and in my consciousness as the me in the dream, I can’t recall what work I’ve created within the portfolio. I look through the pages at the pictures with more anticipation than is warranted. The illustrations don’t look terribly sophisticated. There are a lot of drawings of girls, presumably my dream age. There are drawings that have been started and not completed or coloured as well as some depiction of a band, the Beatles perhaps, that hasn’t really been much developed at all.

I notice somebody else’s cover illustration and I feel it’s better than all the others, including mine, because of the shading. It’s monochromatic and like a pyramid in the sense it’s broader at the base and narrower at the top but it also has rounded sides, like a game of quoits but not.

[Beekeeper]

17th February, 2012.
Friday

“The Cs”
~I’m outside and there are people around doing various things but the main person I notice is an unshaven man in front of me. He has dark hair and whiskers, is in his 50s, of foreign extraction. I think he’s digging and maybe there’s a sense of restoration or clean up after some kind of calamity. I look down on the ground and see a crevice and that reminds me of the time I had trouble with a discarnate that I’d brought home after lunch with a depressed friend who’d been behaving erratically and had become suicidal.* My attention is taken by a couple of potatoes on the ground that have been unearthed now. Sometimes we find hitherto un-harvested potatoes when we disturb the soil to plant something else. I consider collecting them but decide not to.

*Note:
Last night, before bed, I tried to keep my mind empty and make contact with somebody’s deceased daughter just to see if I could. I asked for protection from undesirables. Perhaps that’s the reason for the trench imagery re-appearing in this part of the dream.

~I’m ascending the back steps with the woman who owns the pizza shop. (Last night G and I got pizza instead of cooking. Her son is a former student and we chatted a while. They gave us a discount and free garlic bread J. Also, the man mentioned earlier may have been the man from the kebab shop: that’s what we picked up for H’s dinner). She’s telling me something about her experience with astral projection. ~

Note: This is an odd bit of dream prompting. I haven’t had projection in mind though I have inadvertently seen/heard a couple of references to it. In any case, it strikes me as curious in the dream but doesn’t trigger any recognition.

~ Now I’m with the Cs. They’ve invited me over for Daniel is having some kind of occasion and they wish me to join. We’re flying to Melbourne and seeing some kind of show.

~ There’s a fragment where I’m lying on my back watching the night sky. Two white military-looking aircraft fly over and I briefly wonder if I’ll see UFOs next. I vaguely see two inexplicable round shapes in the sky but, for some reason, I’m not really up for this experience right now and it ends or I simply don’t recall what unfolds. ~

~ I’m emerging from a darkened boarding house onto the street where I will find the Cs. I walk a while until I realize I’m not fully dressed. Perhaps the dream is referencing what I wear in bed. I decide my shorts are too skimpy and I should return to the boarding house.

On my trip back group of 3 youths pass. I recognize one of the boys as a former student – one of the Meta boys. He makes friendly conversation, seeing my state of dress as an indicator I’m about to go have a shower and telling me how he loves taking showers.

Note: meta- (also met- before a vowel or h)
combining form
1 denoting a change of position or condition : metamorphosis | metathesis.
2 denoting position behind, after, or beyond: : metacarpus.
3 denoting something of a higher or second-order kind : metalanguage | metonym.

I bang on the door, expecting the owner of the pizza shop to answer it. For a while I stare at the door deciding the occupants have gone to sleep super early, unsure what to do. Then I notice a card on a ribbon suspended from the door handle and there’s a key attached. I use it. ~

Now I’m inside the C home but it’s nothing like their WR home. It’s incredibly large. I enter a living area and I have a box of chocolates in my hands. I find several people in there. Bernadette (Mrs. C) is lying on a couch but she doesn’t look at all like Bernadette. She has dark hair and an entirely different face. I don’t approach her at first. I see some teens in the room, people I don’t recognize, and I take the box of chocolates to each of them. I let them grab several chocolates each, but never too greedily. It seems though that the box gets more full, rather than less. I talk to B for a while. She asks if I’m giving away all the chocolates she gave me and I’m feeling a bit awkward explaining my action because I don’t remember who gave them to me or why I’m giving them away.

I head off into the house so I can reemerge on the street properly dressed. I pass an enormous room with coloured crystals piled to the ceiling. I keep moving, despite their fascination. I’ve never seen anything like this before and I’m not really sure what they are. They are predominantly in the red and orange spectrum.

I pass into another similar room. I wonder when the C’s got into such structures.

~ Some vague notion of showering or perhaps there’s an expectation I’ll shower before dressing.

~ Another odd fragment occurs. An insurance woman is telling me I must undergo a complete physical in order to be insured. She is stipulating X-rays and I’m resisting the idea, feeling needless X-rays will expose me to harm.

~ I’m on the street again. I watch a pale blonde woman from behind. A man approaches her and he’s clearly a vampire. I decide it’s a performance and I’m not interested.

Note: There’s a fringe festival atmosphere.

~ Now I’ve encountered Daniel and Mary again. Daniel says something excited about this event and identifies himself as being in Year 11 (In RL he graduated years ago and finished uni). We’re leaning forward against a railing and my youngest son H is on my left. He begins a tirade against me because I’m not talking much. He says I should be able to talk more when I’m with people. I sense he’s projecting his own limitations onto me and I get angry. His face is right near mine so I bite him on the cheek as punishment.* Now I’m away from him and with Mary. She seems to be instructing me on how I could better handle the event that just transpired.

*I’d never do such a thing in WR.

[Beekeeper]

Encountered a swarm of bees on the move today. :thumbsup:

[Beekeeper]

19th February, 2012.
Sunday

“Pursued by Monsters.”
I’m before a very large history class. While I just talk to them about the subject matter they’re attentive but I look into the book and begin to see the detail I’ve left out, so I try to get them to read and answer questions. Now they start to play up. I’m trying to find some source questions they can complete but it’s pages before I locate some and I have to chastise individual students for misbehavior during the delay.

I’m on a bus now and I’m watching the houses outside the window. I pass an old red brick house and decide it’s probably not Seven Hills because there’d be more fibro houses. ~

I’m inside a teacher’s house where students have come to study Extension English. I’m impressed that the teacher has offered his/her own home and the kids are so studious. There are a couple of rooms where they work in subdued lighting. ~

I encounter Richard C and he begins to talk about the material I used to teach my Extension kids. He’s telling me it’s what they teach in colleges. I seem to be back on the bus with him now and I’m wondering how he knows what I taught the Extension kids. I’m quite rude when I ask him if he’s smart enough to recognize this, why he only writes stupid comments about football in threads that have nothing to do with football on people’s Facebook walls.

I’ve left something at the front of the bus so I get up to get it but I disembark instead. I realize I need to be on the bus so I run alongside it until I see kids at a bus stop before me. It stops for them and I climb aboard.

But now I’m in a building with a row of high windows. I see a large claw on the end of a black hairy arm swing up from a passing monster and decide I want to get out of there. I pass rapidly through rooms until I find an exit and I’m out on the street. It’s an interesting streetscape, a mixture of homes and square muliti-storey buildings in a pale yellow that probably reflect the buildings I saw in a foreign film when the characters visited Austria.

I begin an ascent up a hill but I see a group of terrified people running my way so I take a left. Every so often I duck out of sight of these oversized ape-like creatures. I’m looking around for a nondescript home where I can hide, figuring the creatures will go where there are large supplies of humans, like office buildings. I’m heading towards some young people and intend to share this idea with them.

[Beekeeper]

I didn't bother recording at all last week. It was all too hard and I didn't think my dreams warranted the effort. Today's posts aren't better but I'm trying not to totally surrender everything to the new set of circumstances.

27th February, 2012.
Monday
"Headscarves and such"
I’m with Carmen and Zoe. I love Zoe and I feel we’re communicating well, even though she cannot talk yet. I speak and she uses gesture and I think what a clever baby she is.

Now Carmen and I are opening a package. I’ve bought it cheaply or gotten it free as part of a promotion run by a newspaper. I want the colourful head ties in the package. I separate them out and Carmen helps me, commenting on the various colours and fabrics, some of which repeat. I pick up a pair of women’s swimmer bikini bottoms and read that they’re a size 8 on the label. I wonder if size 8 would fit me or if I’ve put on too much weight*. In any case, I don’t really want these. With a cynical attitude, I open out an A3 size paper. On it is a line drawing of an Tudor man for colouring in. I comment ironically that this’ll be useful to senior students.

*8 is generally the smallest size available in most Australian shops.

28th February, 2012
Tuesday
"Lesbian"
Some kind of sexual encounter with a lesbian. Doesn’t seem to really involve sex, she's in control though and drags me around like a rag doll.

"Endless wait for the show"
G and I have waited outside a theatre for a play for quite some time. Other people wait too. There’s something odd about my clothes: they seem to be very 1970s and not at all stylish. I notice them and also another group dressed similarly. This waiting seems to repeat and then we wait no more because we need to be at work. G is annoyed that we never got to see the play. It seems our tickets were free or can be re-used at another session and he’s determined to go again. It entails a trip all the way to Sydney.

Note: Dream theatre is a familiar environment.

"Leslie's Bed"
I help make Leslie’s bed for her. It’s barely messed after her having slept in it and I talk to her as I tidy it.

Leslie and Steve (?) are fiddling with a stereo. A young man and woman sit on the other side of the stereo watching and I’m behind them watching. Steve farts right near their noses but they don’t react and I make a comment about the odd behavior.

"Containment"
I have a strange little body, as if I’m very aged and decimated by something else. Mr. Burns from The Simpsons or a grey alien come to mind though I don't appear to be weakened or incapacitated and my body is not the focus of the dream; I just notice it during the course. I seem to be involved in leading a defensive. Someone (presumably at height and with binoculars) declares that the assaulting forces have the city surrounded and contained.

I notice another anomaly: a car moving down the road on its side. Somehow, a woman is driving with this car attached to the side of her car. There’s something like a news report - a voiceover that derides the woman for being aggressive or humourless but then she is interviewed and is quite the contrary, laughing at herself and her predicament in having been fined.

While I’m concentrating on this, a fellow, who speaks in my ear but whom I don’t really look at, is talking about having to make alterations, presumably because of the invading force. He has gotten rid of the granite stones and something else (?)

[Beekeeper]

29th February, 2012.
Wednesday.
“The eleventh hour.”
I kill time waiting for 8 o’clock when I’ll leave for a yoga class. I interact with various people in a kind of homelike environment. I talk to Carmen on the phone and she disappears mid conversation. Glancing at the clock I see it is now 11 and express my surprise to someone that the time has passed and I’ve missed a class.

In third person I watch a group of people (I know? Adults or children?) teleported but they don’t end up in the room they expect to and “the audience” can hear their voices but doesn’t know where they are.

“The white hats.”
An aboriginal woman (Di?) is reading at a retreat. I’m not sure who her audience is, perhaps the people from the previous scene. She reads about the “white hats”, presumably a group of aboriginal people and the heroes of the tale. She narrates more than one story. She has just said, “And a series of white hats led to the door,” when I begin to wonder if this Year 12 retreat is almost over and why we haven

[Beekeeper]

3rd March, 2012.
Saturday.

“Walking the long trip home.”
I’m walking home from work with my homeroom buddy, Paul. It’s a sunny day and he’s congenial company but we’re only at the beginning of the highway and I think it will take a long time to get back home. We’ve walked a certain distance and Paul asks if I mind stopping at a house where he needs to do something.

We’re at the front of the house where there are repairmen removing a pane of glass. Paul points out a British bulldog to me. It’s eating but it does so by running its mouth over spilled crumbs and vacuuming them up. We are both amused by this. ~

Note: It takes me 35 minutes to drive to and from work at highway speeds for a good part of it.

“To Morocco.”
~ I’m talking to my mother-in-law, Joan. It appears I’m packing for a holiday in Morocco and other places. She says something to me about if she ever should need to go to hospital all she’d want are nice toiletries. I say I’d bring them for her and there’s an exchange of loving feeling between us. ~

Now I’m with my “husband” who appears to be a dark-haired student from last year’s homeroom. He’s quite and shy and I’m being boisterous around him, excited about our upcoming trip. The setting seems to be plastic chairs in a double row, inside a room. It suggests a small assembly for students.~

I’m packing my clothes again. I take a series of unfamiliar tops out of a drawer and fold them for the suitcase. They’re colourful, comfortable and new and I don’t recall buying them but I’m happy to have new things. I search around for shorts and such. There’s a moment I find a scourer and a dishcloth, both of which are a bit damp, and it annoys me that they’ve accidentally gotten in my drawer of clothes. I also find a jar of unfamiliar, colourful toy-like things, small trinkets perhaps. I try to spill the contents of one through a hole in the top* but a little ballet dancer doll lodges in the opening.
* Slip- I initially typed a hole in the “time.”

I worry a little that I haven’t done my homework and I know nothing at all about Morocco. I wonder if I can just wear what I like or if there will be dress codes for women. I contemplate checking the government traveller-warning site online. I know it will come into winter and I may need to pack cold weather clothes as well as warm but I don’t know how cold it gets in Morocco and then I worry that I’ll be there for their winter and return in time for ours.* As I worry, I pull out my favourite black pants that come just past my knee and notice a streak of toothpaste on them. I toss them aside for washing. They seem to turn into an oversized pair of faded shorts as they fly through the air. ~
*I’m not a big fan of winter.

Now I’m with Sofie and Helen, who are also packing for trips. Sofie has a small paper gift bag in her hands and I know it holds cosmetics because I get a wiff of berry. She comments on the smell herself.

Helen seems to know about Morocco and perhaps she tells me some things about getting ready. ~

Note: I can’t remember my sense of smell working in dreams before.

“Ants.”
~ I’m in this house somewhere and I see Bella take her place on the wooden floor. Bella is in the form of a German Shepherd but it’s her nonetheless. As soon as she lies on the floor, ants swarm to the spot and up her paws. I call her away from them and sing out to Harry to bring fly spray but it’s pointless because the ants have disappeared.

[Beekeeper]

4th March, 2012.
Sunday.

I’m in bed with G and I’m really aroused and trying to initiate sex. The bed is in the middle of a large room, perhaps a hotel room, and in partial view of a door. My sister comes to the door but possibly assesses the situation because she goes away.

Then I try again but three or four handsome, dark haired young men enter the room and G is about to begin chatting to them but I tell them to go away because we want privacy. I begin to wonder if we are in a hotel and regret not putting a “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door. Then my vision becomes omniscient and I witness a conversation in the kitchens from an aerial perspective. A chef tells a subordinate to make something other than the scheduled Spanish omlette.

Meanwhile, back in bed, the roof has disappeared and we’re now exposed to the neighbours, except for a canopy over the bed that has appeared to replace the ceiling.

Note: The alarm went off. We got up early to travel to Canberra to see F, our son.

[CFTraveler]

Are you staying in a hotel? :twisted:
Sorry, couldn't resist.

[Beekeeper]

Are you staying in a hotel? :twisted:
Sorry, couldn't resist.

:lol:8)

5th March, 2012.
Sunday.

"Dangerous Robots"
I’m in the front of a house (possibly the front rooms of the house we built when first married) and assorted robots materialize. They’re only small but they proceed to destroy the electrical parts of the house. I realize that this is the beginning of some kind of attack on the planet.

Now I’m slightly further back in time. There are people in the back rooms, which are darkened, and some feel an impending sense of doom. This alerts me to what is about to occur as I recall the earlier scenario and I begin to warn people that there is something coming but it happens too quickly for a response of any kind to be possible.

The scenario from the start repeats. The small robots are there again and there are small explosions that weaken the wall to my right side. I push through it.

The scene has changed and I watch the remaking of the humans who have been taken. Among a group of people I notice a teen boy drinking milk from a plate or a tube. I get the impression that this person has either been totally created by the beings or reprogrammed. The milk signifies that he’s in his infancy.

I see my grandmother in the room and I remember she has died and know it can’t be her. Her face isn’t right: it’s too young (even though it’s not actually young) and her chin is too square. She seems to think she is Josie in any case.

Now there are large numbers of us heading back to our homes to resume our lives. I listen to my grandmother and another woman talking about cake they have baked. My grandmother seems to be carrying hers and somehow it comes about that the other woman eats some and dies. No one, including me, reacts but I note it and understand this is how it will be.

A woman hails me and others (G and the boys?) from behind a tall mesh fence. We run towards it and easily leap it. She looks like Sharon Stone* and is dressed in a long gown. I sense that her intentions aren’t good and somehow I know that poison is her modus operandi, so I’m careful with what I touch. I notice a wet mop and know instantly that she’ll deliver the poison by wetting the floor. I pick it up and touch her with the end of the mop and she expires.

*Watched a few minutes of Total Recall on TV a couple of days ago.

Fragment: A man who lies on shelves and tables of deformed children. He wriggles about in order to bring them joy and all of them laugh with infectious baby laughter.

[Beekeeper]

8th March, 2012.
Thursday.

“Holding onto Zoe”
Too busy to record the last couple of days, which involved amorous dreams.

I’m in the back seat of car, holding Zoe on my lap. Carmen’s in the front. The car stops suddenly and Carmen turns around to check on Zoe’s welfare. I pull a seatbelt around us but realize when I go to click it in that there’s already one there. I realize that and pull in the belt over my shoulder, noticing there isn’t already one there.

“Man-child.”
I’m looking after a grown man with a child’s mind. The context is upstairs in a fairly plush environment and G is conducting a party, making punch and seeing that people are given food. A child asks me if I know anything about Custer’s last stand and I tell him about a video I showed in a class once where the researchers tested the Native American account against the claims of the American soldiers. I try doing an internet search for him. ~

I hear some people talking about a certain period in Greece. IWR, I’m not very knowledgeable about ancient Greece but in the dream I make a comment about the subsequent period being a more secular age and the two women correct me, saying that’s just a generalisation.

I’m outside now sitting with people on the nature strip beside a car. I feel a bit guilty for not helping G inside with the party but I’m also interacting with and protecting the simple man~

Sofie walks slightly ahead of me, looking over her shoulder and commenting that my sons have acne* because of my mother’s genes. I disagree but say nothing. I’m following her because I think there’s something I need to do for work. My sons follow. We get in a car with Sofie and she drives.

* This is something of an overstatement.

[Beekeeper]

9th March, 2012.
Friday

“Robyn”
I’m with Robyn, with whom I went to school, catching up. She’s telling me about the trains she caught to catch up with me again and as she narrates, I see what she’s talking about. She writes down her address and I read it, noticing that her postcode is 1111.

Note: Robyn belonged to the self-appointed “popular” group at school. They tended to be the girl-jocks and the more Anglo-Australians. Robyn herself, however, was pretty nice and I recently caught up with her on FB.

“The Tale of the Dancer and the Jealous Wife.”
I enter a café, looking for something for H. The man who serves me is dark haired and possibly Greek. I see some toast with jam on it and order that, initially a little disappointed because it seems he’ll give me the soggy toast on display. He doesn’t though, and while he makes a fresh slice he tells me about his first wife, a dancer who committed suicide (because she couldn’t perfect the dance?) His current wife buzzes around him, annoyed at his talk, and says something disparaging about the way he must always talk about his first wife.

“The Popular Ones”
This is one of those weird, musical number type dreams. I’m a boy and part of a mixed troupe of young performers. While I’m very talented, I feel ostracized somehow. The others are mean and think themselves superior. So, I break into a song and dance, satirizing their shallowness. It’s pretty entertaining stuff in its way and, while it proceeds, I’m totally enjoying the way ad-libbed lyrics are flowing:

There’s no doubt about it, it’s a state of putrefaction
Still it’s best I live without it - no need for this reaction.

The dance moves take me from one character to the next as I address their individual foibles. I remember taking the hand of an attractive dark-skinned girl and my lyrics at the time mention the unfaithfulness of her boyfriend in the group, to which she looks at me with a resigned, knowing expression.

Note: Some of last night’s dreaming is probably related to some of the playground politics I encountered on duty yesterday. I’ll relate a little more later as I don’t have time now.

[Beekeeper]

10th March, 2012.
Saturday.

“The Simple Man again”
The mentally retarded man reappeared last night. This time he is being looked after by a group of people at a church. I think the priest, in particular, takes care of him. He’s a very big person, very tall but also gentle and he loves the daily mass. He loves his food too. I feel tremendous affection for him in this dream.

“Test and Assignment”

I have submitted a math test and I’m really confident I’ve done well. It seems I’m ahead of the work and the test was essentially on work I’d already done, so it was just a matter of copying out my answers.

I receive the work back and I notice that the paper has been laminated. I wonder if this is so you cannot alter what was there and claim the marker made a mistake. I see that there are a lot of blank spots where I would expect my answers to be but this suddenly makes sense and I arrive at an understanding that where the places are blank is where my answers are right. I look through the paper for where they aren’t blank and discover that all my answers must be correct but then I see my mark is 88 and I wonder why it’s not 100. It occurs to me then that I must have missed the last page of questions, thinking the test shorter than it was. I’m fairly neutral about my mistake and satisfied with the mark.

Now I’m opening a package that is wrapped in brown paper and held together with string. Inside, I know I’ll find an essay I wrote for a competition. I plan to reuse it for something else. Clearly, I never ascertained how it was received the first time. When I open it, I find first some typed sheets, which I believe are my own work. Then I find a glossy brochure that is something to do with travel and art. A scene in the brochure comes alive momentarily and I see several performance artists outside a restaurant with a Tudor style facade in brown and white. They are arranged artfully, some of them suspended above street level in slings attached to the front of the building, and look like puppets with limbs at different angles and akimbo. They’re faces are disinterested.

I return to the package contents. Now I find a handwritten section. It’s not my writing but more like my younger sister’s. Here I see ticks but no comments. It occurs to me somehow that I have misremembered what was done when I entered this competition. It seems I did much of the work for my sister but the only work that counted was what she did for herself. I feel a little miffed that my efforts weren’t in any way validated but also accept that this is naturally what must be so.

Note: I guess the first dream is advising me about a situation where I’ve missed some information. Perhaps the second one is a warning about not doing too much of the work for my students – that only what they do for themselves will ultimately be valid. This may be why there was a reference to “disinterested performance artists” and puppets. Hmm, useful dream.

[Beekeeper]

11th March, 2012.
Sunday

Difficulty recalling.

I’m letting M drive my new car but she’s speeding and I don’t like it. I know it’s a great car and handles well but I feel that if she damages it she won’t have the money to repair it.

Something about a group of us involved in a performance. We stand outside a wall made of grey stone blocks, like a castle wall. I’m feeling negative, not wanting to take part in the performance.

Fragment for a larger dream: a house with bulging walls. The base is too small and I wonder if there’s a new kind of renovation technique where one expands from the top down.

12th March, 2012.
Monday.

“Hair”
I had a haircut in WR but in the dream it has disappeared and become long and straggly. I have a performance coming, something with a band, and I want my hair to look better. I search through the long bit to find some evidence of the recent haircut but can’t. I decide I’ll tie it in a ponytail.
Louise is there, kind of in a facilitator’s role: she’s the one who announced the coming performance. There’s more about her but I cannot recall it ~

Wolfgang arrives. He needs to do some secret experiment in the old garage outside the building where Louise and I have been. He’s mixing something together.


“The Cousin”
There’s a boy who is supposed to be my cousin and son to my Aunty Mary and Uncle Paul. He doesn’t look anything like them or like my actual cousins from that family. He sits between me and my Aunty Tess in church and he’s working on some kind of assignment where he keeps pasting little animals onto a piece of paper. I watch him paste on a tiny rubber seal and I like the way it sits with its head up. I suggest he leave it that way but then I think he won’t be able because he plans to paste to both sides of the sheet and it won’t lie flat. He tells me he will leave it that way anyway.

Tess and I begin to dote and cuddle the boy, who clearly doesn’t like it, so I stop. I notice while we do that, Tess is both affectionate and cruel, coddling and pushing. In substitute for doting, I begin to ask the boy questions such as has he met my sons, his cousins* (he hasn’t) what year he’s in at school (seven) and what he likes to do. He begins to enthuse over an engineering concept and I smile, considering him to be in his father’s image. The thought causes Paul and Mary and their “other” kids to appear in the crowd and Paul beams with pride as his son continues the conversation with him. I notice an older, taller brother with similar features (they are both thin with large noses and straggly longish hair). The boy goes over to the older brother and puts his hand at the back of his neck to greet him but also because the appearance of his brother makes him feel more secure. For some reason this gesture reminds me of my own sons. I think something about Paul’s family living in Gymea.

*My sons would actually be second cousins.

Notes: Paul and Mary divorced many years ago and their kids are adults. They lived in Gymea in the past.
I recently fell out with Aunt Tess because she was being homophobic and religiously bigoted on my FB page. Paul and Mary’s actual youngest son is gay, so I guess I found myself wondering how she treats him; that would explain the combination of aunts and uncles in this dream to some extent but not the dream manufacturing of two totally new cousins.

[Beekeeper]

13th March, 2012.
Tuesday

Struggle with recall. A poor night of frequent waking.

“Braiding hair.”
At an outdoor venue, there’s a gathering of people. It’s to celebrate some kind of legal declaration regarding the rights of children and young people. It essentially limits the amount of money they can earn and I wonder how this benefits them.

A plump red haired girl wants me to braid her hair in a certain way. I explain that I had sons rather than daughters so I’m not experienced at braiding but I’ll give it a go. My former student, Ashley, turns up to help because she routinely braids her daughters’ hair. I’m pretty certain I can do it; look over at a dark haired child with elaborate hair braids (Ashley’s youngest?) and am grateful that the girl didn’t ask for anything so elaborate. Partway through the process the girl walks away and doesn’t return. I turn to my sister J, who appears to be younger and ask if she’d like me to braid hers instead. She agrees.

[Beekeeper]

11th April, 2012.
Wednesday.

We’re currently on a family retreat in the Blue Mountains.

I had dreams before the lucid but cannot recall them now. I distinctly remember a smooth female voice saying something to the effect of, “I’m here,” or “This is mine,” as a hpnagogic hallucination. I had to actively recall the LD - it wasn’t so stunning it made me jump out of bed and type; besides, it’s so damn cold here!

“UFO and Blobman”
I’m lying in bed looking at the night sky with G. I see a series of white, translucent discs and I can tell they’re not planets, so I’m wonder what they are and if G can see them as well. Then I see movement and what is clearly a flying saucer making its way past the other discs and I know I’m dreaming.
I’m surprised to find myself lucid. It’s been ages since it last occurred and I haven’t deliberately attempted an induction. I don’t have a plan so I think about what I should do next and figure a reality check is probably in order but which one. Since I seem to be lying on a dream bed with my arm dangling down towards the floor, I decide to stick a finger through the floorboards. After that, I decide the next thing to do is fly somewhere but that doesn’t seem to want to work. I realise I’m in a similar predicament to the dream in the ute with S, only without the sensation of moving. Then I remember what I think was my last lucid where I felt energy coil around my arm and chest and constrict like a snake and I think I’m probably in a state of sleep paralysis. No sooner do I have the thought than I feel a large lump of something conscious form in the bed beside me and, Instead of reacting in fear, I pull it close in order to sense it. It’s about man size but it’s amorphous and it reacts to my embrace with slight resistance.

“The mutated men”
I lose lucidity and begin to dream a documentary. It’s about something strange that has happened within some families, a genetic mutation I guess. I see a man and his son and they are both deformed somehow and, I presume, mentally retarded. There is something terribly exaggerated about their jaws and their eyes are small and close together. When they talk, there’s a definite telepathic link between them. I’m fascinated as one starts a sentence, the other continues it without missing a beat and the first picks up where the other leaves off. A third relative with the same syndrome enters the shot and we see him in profile. Again, his prominent jaw takes my attention.

Now it moves into another theme. These people are apparently aboriginal (they don’t look it) and part of the Stolen Generation.~

Other dreams not published.

[Beekeeper]

27th May, 2012.
Sunday

It’s 3.36am
"Dog Anxiety"
Bella is in the house at Seven Hills and keeps weeing on the floor. I tell H to take her out and she wees again so I say it with more insistence. He lets her out and a passing man (thin, heading towards elderly) puts his own small dog over the fence to play with her. H goes into a panic and I’m trying to calm him. Now three dogs are running up and down the yard: a small yappy type dog, a medium size creamy poodle and Bella. Sometimes it seems like a small llama joins them or replaces one of them. I’m telling H it’ll be okay, Bella is just playing with them, but he remains concerned. The man is defiant, sure he had a right to put his dog in with ours.

This is typical of the type of dream I get when I set an intention to use a wake-back-to-bed method. Anxiety dreams are good for waking you up. I programme this by saying, "I'll wake in 41/2 to 6 hours after I sleep, whatever timing will maximise my chance of a lucid dream." This is sufficient.

5.12am .
I decided to try for a lucid dream using WBTB and the Saltcube timer (Ramp 4 I think). I had been reading an online book called Thirty Years Among the Dead by Dr. Carl Wickman and this helped me establish a goal of using the lucid dream state to induce an auric cleanse and remove any spirit attachments.

“Seeking an Auric Cleasing” – Lucid.
I start in a classroom of primary students - they’re my students- and I know I’m dreaming so I begin to have fun with it and them. I can’t remember everything I did but there was some flying and amusing them until I decided I wished to travel through the ceiling and floated up and through it.

I forgot my intention to ask for clarity or awareness or to pat myself continuously – I’ve been meaning to try the later.

I’m in a house now and I’m walking down a wide corridor that gets longer and longer the more I walk. I love this because I know I’m still in the dream and the more I speed up, the more it speeds up. I take a run off and start flying and it’s totally exhilarating. People are coming towards me, so I grab a guy and my plan is to seduce him, not that he’s particularly attractive but just because I can. As soon as I do this, the vision fades on the dream and the tactile sensation lessens, so I let him go.

It’s fairly grey for a moment. I hear a suggestion that Madonna (the performer) is right there beside me but I’m insufficiently interested in that to bring the visuals on.

I’m in a crowded staff coffee room. Paul, my homeroom buddy, is the only person I really recognize long enough to notice. I turn to a small fridge behind me and get out some soy-milk in a cartoon with brown writing. I splash some in my tea and apologise for having to use his milk because there’s nothing else in the fridge. As is Paul’s way, he says this is fine. I notice a woman beside him that I suspect is supposed to be Fran, my old work colleague. The person is much too young and there are only superficial resemblances. This brings my lucidity back up a notch and I notice a TV playing behind her.

There’s an actress on the screen but she looks like she’s starring in something made in the sixties (when I was made). She’s not unlike the current Liz Hurley in appearance, though younger. Seeing the screen reminds me that I had a purpose when I deliberately set out to induce a lucid dream tonight. My plan was to go to a healing place and have my aura cleansed and any spirit attachments removed. I now recall that I’ve attempted it once already in this lucid adventure (there’s plenty I’ve forgotten because I just kept going with it). I decide to try again and find myself feeling a shivery feeling over my energy body, like before. The “movie” changes and I see a group of adults walking down a corridor. They look like released war prisoners. I try to count them, there are at least nine but I can’t be sure I’ve counted them all because they break off in two groups heading in different directions. They’re a drab, sullen group.

Now I view a cenotaph. It’s a weird shape, like a ziggurat pyramid but not as large or symmetrical. It appears to be made of dark, polished granite and is perhaps three metres tall and wide. I can manoeuver and zoom in and read the various little brass name plaques on it from an aerial perspective. I don’t feel embodied. I see many names commemorating the people.

This reminds me that I read earlier in this dream. This may have in fact been the moment of lucidity. I could read clearly until I noticed I could and how stable individual words were and then it altered. Were the words on paper or in the air? They were typed, not handwritten, large and clear and one at a time. I can’t remember what they were now.

I spend time with my niece, R, now. I can’t recall the activities only that it was sweet and congenial and there was considerable conversation.

I’m beside my sister, J. She’s leaning on a rail watching something. The environment isn’t very important, it may even be darkened, and I become fixated on her handwriting. I’m stunned at the dream’s ability to reproduce her handwriting so convincingly. I wonder if I just know it really well.

I’m a bit uncertain of what comes next. I think I realise that if I don’t come out of this dream I won’t remember any of it and won’t recall having been lucid at all. I experience a false awakening but the bed is somewhere unfamiliar and G is lying on the floor across the room, his limbs akimbo. I think the TV is there again with the Liz Hurley type character so I know I’m still dreaming.

Something makes me think of visiting the ocean and I find myself in the void. I decide I better end this or I’ll forget it all.

I went back to bed with G to sleep normally.

I can’t recall where I’ve been or what I’ve been doing, except that I’ve been with a group of people and I’m under some kind of instruction. Thus, I use this ~ symbol.

~I’m walking Bella, catching the train from Central to W on the western line, where Mum apparently works. Something feels strange – I’m starting to suspect I’m dreaming. The train arrives at its destination in an incredibly short time and this takes me by surprise somewhat.

I disembark and I notice that the platform branches off into a V. I decide that I better phone Mum as she hasn’t told me whether to take a right or a left when I get to the platform or even where she works and what the building looks like. I scan the tops of surrounding buildings for a clue. I sit with a bunch of people, some behind me some beside, on benches and phone Mum. I say hello.

Bella is well behaved, sitting between my feet, but a small white Maltese terrier that I hadn’t noticed before approaches her. It too is leashed but its owner isn’t controlling it. I don’t want any trouble so I try to manage Bella as well as the phone. I’m pulling her away from the other dog and she’s trying to slip her head through her collar to prevent me. I hear Mum commenting on it, saying what a nuisance Bella is and how when I get there there will be a really vicious Dalmatian to contend with. I wonder how Mum knows what’s happening when she’s not even present, as I haven’t told her. I ask her how she can see what’s happening and become lucid. I remember the earlier events of the night and decide it’s probably pretty late and I better get up.

[Korpo]

Well, three dogs of different size make me think of... *puts the needle back to the beginning of the usual broken record* :P

[Beekeeper]

I'll add recent experiences in developing mediumship to this journal. They run backward for a bit, from more recent to more distant. I won't bother recording absolute flops but there have been a couple, both of which I tried to conduct over Skype.

Due to an earlier work day, I stopped journaling anything but significant or lucid dreams.



Reading 7
Barbara
In the week after my birthday party, my friend T rang and asked for a reading. I was a bit challenged at first because I actually knew things about T’s mum and these were the things that initially came up. Her mother, Barbara, also came through as a mind link more than a true blending. Beyond the initial things I knew about (her appearance, love of horses and dying after a game of golf) she progressed to an image of slender pink ribbons, which was very significant to T at both a literal and symbolic level. There were other things, like the reference to her dog, which she showed me as a standard golden retriever, which was part of her dog’s breed and what she referred to it as, even though it was black. She also referenced T’s childhood dog by showing me an exaggeratedly, almost comically squashed dog face. I knew not to take this so literally, so when I asked Trish if she had a squashed face breed and she stated she did, I asked if her mum thought it was ugly and made fun of it. My intuition/interpretation was correct!

I don’t want to get too much into details here but rather what I’m learning as I practice. There were other specific details that arose, like a reference to an incident with a spider that T confirmed but this may also have been a reference to Barbara’s reaction to Huntsmen spiders when she visited T in Australia (she was an American). The comically exaggerated image of “spider” that she gave me suited both stories well. She had a number of things to say about jewellery, which proved valid and I also thought it was interesting that she commented on the pink skirt she was buried in. T said Barbara never wore pink, so it was a detail that impressed her memory at her mother’s funeral.

The really interesting thing about Barbara was her resourcefulness. She did things no other spirit has tried during a reading before. I felt her around at my right ear, trying to activate clairaudience. It even got my ear ringing briefly but was, unfortunately, ineffective. Still, I admired her effort. I also kept getting goosebumps with Barbara, which hasn’t occurred with other spirits during readings. I feel that she was trying some kind of tactile form of communication. This makes me aware that she wasn’t 100% happy with the way the communication was occurring and rightly so, as mind links entail a greater level of interpretation on the medium and sitter’s part.

T had had an experience where a medium in a shop had approached her shortly after Barbara’s death and told her there was important information her mother wanted her to know. T, therefore, asked me to ask her mum what that was about. When I did, she showed me a key and a lock. I reported this to T who then said she thought her mum had been trying to tell her about jewellery in a safety deposit box. I asked Barbara if she’d be prepared to communicate that to T in a dream and she agreed she’d do that - she did.

The other interesting thing about Barbara was she chose to stand on my left/T’s right, the place where I typically see males. T felt this was because she was undisputed head of the family. And why not?

Margaret:
We moved across to T’s mother-in-law, Margaret. While Barbara died 8 years ago, Margaret only died this year. Reading for Margaret was much easier than Barbara had been. I suspect it is because she was possibly more open and outgoing but it may have been because her death was more recent or she felt a strong need to make first contact or chatting with Barbara had honed my communication or I was more similar to Margaret than Barbara. All is speculation at this stage.

I described her as very thin, with a prominent, boney chin, grey haired, stooped back, which all checked out.

Margaret felt tremendous gratitude for what was done at her funeral. She showed me (I could feel it too) a bowl with a candle in it. T explained that they dried the petals from the flowers and put them in such bowls around a candle. Since Margaret blended easily I was able to feel and convey her strong gratitude. She also referenced the beautiful music (T sang Margaret’s favourite song at the funeral) and that she liked the patent leather shoes T wore (I thought she was saying they were hers at first). Apparently, Margaret was always complimenting T, something I picked up intuitively. When T told me that Margaret always said she loved T’s curly hair, I got a very strong sense of agreement. In fact, I could feel Margaret’s tremendous affection for T, which is always nice for the medium!

The really interesting thing Margaret did, however, was comment on a conversation T and her husband, P, had been having the previous evening. It appears P was outnumbered, two women to one man on that one! Then she talked about other family members, including mentioning a “James”. There is a James and the comment apparently made sense. Yay for getting names!

Margaret also seemed pretty pleased that she had found Alli, the little dog that she had given as a gift to P and T and that had passed over some years ago. She was also pretty cagey when T asked if she had interfered with the data projector when, against her express wishes, they had chosen to show photos at the funeral. Her response was, “That would be telling,” and a good deal of laughter.

[Beekeeper]

31st October, 2015
Mediumistic Reading 7 - Sue.
Ron
Sue’s reading was a bit slow getting started. I’m unsure why but perhaps I tried to launch into a mediumistic reading too fast. I had done a couple of request psychic readings earlier in the week and they appeared to go well so maybe I thought I was warmed up and could take short cuts. I tend to expect a lot of myself.

While on that topic of this week’s readings, I’d like to record that I had good confirmation that I probably see people psychically who are central to the inquiry at hand with a high degree of accuracy. I had wondered to what extent the people I see and describe really do correlate with actual appearances of physical and incorporeal beings. My friend, Veronica, wanted me to look into an unspecified situation and one of the series of images I saw during meditation included a woman who appeared very concerned for Veronica. Veronica wasn’t sure which of three women it might be, so she gave me a photo and I recognized the woman immediately. As it turned out, she was a person at the heart of Veronica’s inquiry whose actions had mystified and hurt her and so, I feel, it was healing for Veronica to understand that the woman had not intended hurt, that she cared deeply for Veronica but had made her choices based on deep needs of her own.

With Sue’s reading, at first I saw a person who was not connected with the sitter but whom I recognized as being connected with Mark (Reading 6). Mark, a declared atheist who had nonetheless requested the reading, had dismissed this person as, “He could be any number of people,” and we pretty much ended the session. I acknowledged this person and asked if he’d leave so I could get on with Sue’s reading. I suspect he has a message for Mark and will follow up on that if I’m able.

I wasn’t seeing or feeling anyone though I wanted to pull left still, which usually means a male. I asked Sue if she were hoping for connection with a male and she said she had hoped to connect with her father.

Nothing was happening. I was also holding Sue’s necklace and it was vibrating in my hand but I wasn’t getting impressions. I knew to be patient and relax and Sue suggested I try her father’s ring. This was a very good idea.

Immediately I began getting impressions and it wasn’t too long before I felt him present and a blending occurred, which was a bit challenging because he was a really emotional man and it was a little overwhelming at times.

I felt he worked with his hands and Sue said he was a gardener. I picked up that he had had trouble with his heart and his legs. He had had heart problems that had caused a stroke and diabetes that caused the leg problems and gangrene. This didn’t really gel with the vision of him I had gotten and Sue confirmed he had been a fit man. I felt him add that he had eaten healthily and Sue confirmed this also. I could feel his resentment as he conveyed that he had died very unpleasantly and in his seventies and he felt that, given his lifestyle choices, he should have lived longer and died without prolonged suffering. Sue confirmed that there was great sorrow in his final years as he suffered a stroke after a heart operation released a clot and lost his ability to speak.

I sensed a love of dogs and he showed me a dark shaggy dog that Sue almost forgot he had in his later years. He also loved rugby and I knew he played more than one code but Sue said he absolutely hated soccer when I suggested it as a possibility. He showed me a willow tree in his backyard. Sue said this was so but I think that perhaps I had his two homes superimposed at times because I didn’t see that tree was on acreage. I also felt a body of water that dried up sometimes but I was thinking along the lines of a pond while Sue said it was a creek.

Throughout, I saw him in an oversized grey suit, which Sue said they buried him in. She said he lost a lot of weight before he died.

We ascertained that his mother was there with him but I also felt there was a boy there, maybe a little younger than a teen or an early teen. Sue couldn’t identify the boy but the mother’s description – grey curled hair and very thin and small – fit.

He depicted himself to me as a dapper young man and into the crooning kind of music. This totally resonated with Sue who had also heard her parents’ song on a movie the previous night. It was clear that he was pretty confident of his good looks as a young man. He also showed me his feet with brown leather sandals and Sue said that he wore them all the time.

At the end of the reading, it was the usual giving of love (quite powerfully) and expression of pride in his daughter’s education. He also conveyed a memory of watching his grandchildren jumping on a trampoline and the pleasure that gave him.

What I learnt:
In many ways, this reading was different. It didn’t start with a strong sense of him in the room from the head down, as I have mostly experienced spirit up to now. He came in while I was using psychometry and while I felt initial trouble connecting, it ended up quite easy with a sense of blending. I suspect more and more that those spirits who blend easily may have been extroverts during their lives. Sue tells me he was a very friendly, loving and warm person and I could feel that.

[Beekeeper]

6.1.16
Wednesday
Mary: Thought form or Ghost?
I try to initiate a lucid dream with WBTB and a timer at 20-minute intervals.

I seem to be taking a long time to get to sleep when suddenly I feel a child’s body crawling all over me, clinging to me as I lay in bed. Initially I react pretty poorly. I start pulling her off me and I even bite her arm quite hard at some point but she persists and I relax and go with it.

She climbs up with her face near mine and I discover that we’re able to communicate easily, telepathically. She is hugging me, like little children will do. I ask her name and she clearly states, “Mary”. I like her clear, loud childish voice. I ask, “Are you a thought form or a ghost?” and she replies, “A bit of both really.” An equivocal answer but I accept the possibility, considering that she may be the echo of a person who really existed, or, perhaps, a lost fragment of person, or the mental projection of a human being. I sense that she is blond but I don’t really see her. I apologise for having bitten her and she says that it is okay.

I think we’ve talked about some other things when she raises the topic of lottery numbers. I say to her, “You can’t predict winning numbers can you?” and she replies that of course she can. She proceeds to rattle some off but I tell her to wait because I want to know what particular lottery she is referring to. She starts again without answering me and she’s suddenly drowned out by a lot of noise. She stops and the noise ceases, then she tells me, as though she’s been chastened, “I’m not allowed to do that.”

False awakening.
Oiled Floorboards
I’ve woken late after the night’s lucid adventure. Glenn and the boys are up. It doesn’t faze me that Finn is home again and that Glenn has oiled all the floorboards in the living areas.

False awakening.
Trying to Record the Mary Dream
I have half-recorded the dream and see it typed on my computer.

Now I appear to have found a reference to someone who had a similar dream and I’m trying to contact him so we can discuss it? He has left a double sheet of glossy coloured paper with bears’ heads on it. I think the purpose is to humorously swap them around onto each other’s bodies.

I look at what I’ve typed and notice that what I’ve recorded after the main dream has changed to Japanese lettering. For a moment I wonder what I’ve done to cause this and then I either spontaneously realize I’ve had a false awakening or hear the beeper that allows me to realize it.


I went back to bed, thinking to catch up some sleep but not expecting to succeed in falling asleep because I was really hungry.

Waiting Room and Tornado (lucid)
I step into an old fashioned waiting room at a train station. The light is low and there is a pair of trousered knees sticking out from behind a corner in the room so I become a little apprehensive. I decide to investigate who this potential male figure is and discover it’s a manikin.

I move to the centre of the room and some kind of restriction occurs. I’m not sure I’m recalling exactly but I suspect it is paralysis. I’m not prepared to accept that so I will myself upwards. My body spins as I ascend and I feel pressure on the top of my head as I break through the ceiling. There’s a sense of great force and the sound of wind.

Now I’m quite some distance away from the train station, in the air, looking back. It looks like dawn (although it’s well and truly morning in my waking world). I’m excited by the spectacle of a tornado that I know I created, spinning over the station and sucking the beautiful old building upwards.

Note: Quite a bit of ordinary dreaming follows this. I forget many of the details as I did with the earlier false awakenings and may have forgotten this second lucid dream except that at the end of the sleep cycle I dreamt I was telling my friend, Mel, about it. I’ll see Mel later today.

I am perhaps semi-lucid in the next dream, at least at the beginning. It is difficult to recall and something to do with inhabiting some kind of complex for students. I start off in a room with one group of people but some kind of room change occurs.

Telling Mel
Context is difficult for this one. I am lying on an upper bunk perhaps, with Mel looking up at me, possibly through some kind of little window. I’ve just told her the tornado dream and she has asked me something about how I dealt with the fear element in the dream. I tell her I danced*. She compliments my skin and says it must be the seeds I’m eating. I think she must have misunderstood something I told her because I haven’t been eating seeds.

*That seems entirely true to me when I say it. I wonder if I have forgotten this element from the dream in writing my summary.

[Beekeeper]

I think I last posted here 5 years ago but I still get the happy birthday wish from the Astral Dynamics. I wondered if the forums still existed and, upon confirming they do, whether this thread was still here. I was surprised to find it was! For old time's sake, I thought it might be fun to post something. Here a three recent entries to my "Anomalous" journal selected because they're not too personal:

10.9.2021 Friday
Etheric Business Card
I fell asleep during meditation and was having an involved dream. Coming back up to the surface of wakefulness, I recall myself in a conversation with someone who is about to hand me a business card. I say something like, “Wouldn’t it be great if I could materialise this in my hand as I woke up again”. I feel the card materialise energetically in my hand. I’m excited to see if it’s actually there but, of course, when I open my eyes, the feeling is gone.

19.9.2021 Sunday
Paranormal

I am sitting on the couch watching “The Duchess” when the lounge room light turns itself on. I sing out to H who is just about to go down the stairs. (G is in the car on his way home from Uncle A’s funeral. I don’t go because of the ♥♥♥♥♥ lockdown).


28.9.2021 Tuesday
Finding my new Mask

Guidance
I had lost my new mask for about a week and looked everywhere I’d expect to find it. During meditation, I asked where I’d find it. With clear third person aerial view visuals, they reminded me I took it on a beach walk wearing shorts (the weather keeps changing, so I haven’t worn shorts again). There it was: in the pocket!

[susan]

Hi Beekeeper, Nice to hear from you.Been a long time. Sometimes I think one day I’ll look for the forum and it would have disappeared. It’s so quiet here but I’m hanging on by a thread to my own journal as everything has just died on me. Gaia gets a lot of my attention now but AD is where it all started for me thanks to NEWS so I’m still here.
Sorry to have interrupted your journal flow. just wanted to say “HI” .

[Beekeeper]

Hi Susan,

Sorry I was slow to reply. No interruption at all. A little interaction is always sweet and it's good to find out what's happening x

[CFTraveler]

You know guys, the forums will eventually be moved here:
https://www.astraldynamics.org/forums
So you can go now and register and have access if you find yourself in the air.