Thematic Dream Journal

[poème]

Since I'm in the process of going through my dream notebooks to look for recurrent themes, I thought it could be interesting to share some of them here. Of course, everyone is welcome to comment, even if it is to disagree on something. As long as it's respectful, I don't mind a little controversy. I think it helps to think things over more thoroughly. You may also share about your own dreams here, as long as they go with the theme. Or, if you already shared such a dream in your own dream journal or somewhere else on the site, it would be great if you could send the link toward the right page, so that people interested in the topic may also read other related dreams. :)

[poème]

I sometimes dream that I am someone else, or to be more exact, that I am with someone else, sharing this person’s thoughts and seeing through his or her eyes.

I chose to start with this topic especially because of one very intriguing dream I had lately. I took some time to think about it but I still haven’t figured out what it could mean or how it was linked to me. Since this one was, in part, occurring in the 1800s or early 1900s, I really wondered if this was a past life, my own or even someone else’s… If it wasn’t, how was this whole story linked to me…

I also chose two other dreams to illustrate the topic. I could not find how any of them were linked to me and my actual life. Your thoughts would be more than welcomed here!

July 23 2010 (last dream; morning)
The young woman living in the street
The first dream seems to be set in a European town and I have the impression that it’s in the 1960s and up since the girl is wearing jeans, or pants, if not jeans… And she takes the bus at the end of the dream. So unless she died young (I was born in the early 1980s), I can hardly think this one was a past life. Was it empathy then? Or was it linked to my life in a way that I did not want to see?

I am her or I am following her, but I am not in my own body. She has long blond hair; she is bare foot and has no home to go to. She finds shelter on the upper floor of an abandoned building that feels nice actually… She’s been sleeping there for some time. But then, she is discovered, and since she has no right to squat the place, the poor girl has to leave. And so, that night, she sleeps in the stairs…and it starts raining (!)

In the morning, she walks around town. She sees coffee shops and restaurants and people happily eating there. She is hungry too. Nobody pays attention to her and when someone does, it is with some disrespect or disdain. She then takes the bus. Once seated, the driver, a rigid-looking lady, tells her that she did not pay her fare. The girl is shocked since she did pay it. After sharing some of her thoughts about this situation and what she (or we) should do, I wake up.

January 3 2011 (early in the morning)
The modern young woman and two guides
The second one is definitely set in a modern setting and the young woman wears clothes of today’s fashion: leggings and a simple dress with flat caramel colour boots. And she has a modern hair cut: bob style straight black hair. And so, I can hardly think that this one may be a past life… There is also a very heavy dream tone here, as you’ll come to notice:

I am or I am sharing thoughts with a young woman who is not me. I recall a quite sunny scenery, reddish dirt road or sand. I’ll skip some of the details here and go straight to the next scene: she is accompanied by two males, whom I (or she) think are her guides. I have no proof of that, just my (or her) hunch. They are travelling together at a high speed (in a vertical way) from level to level. I have no clue where they are: too otherworldly! She is more limited than the other two; she can’t go as far as they can, and one of them tells her exactly that. She replies, boldly, that she sure could go to the upper level too… If she was more orderly and wanted to do some cleaning (!). That being said, she goes up the higher level too…


February 18, 2011 (morning)
The psychic and the little girl - The psychic’s apartment (Part I)
I am in a small and humble-looking apartment. At this point, I think I am «physically»there. I see a lady, a maid. She is rather friendly and we chat lightly (nothing important). At some point, I realize that she’s actually a spirit… I can feel a cool (as in cold) energy field around her. She puts her hand on my cheek and I can feel how cold her hand is. My cheek, in comparison seems so warm, even hot.

The apartment belongs to a psychic. I recall visiting some parts of it, but I’m not sure if I was him at this point or if I was still «physically» there, following him around. But I don’t recall speaking to him. It seemed more as if I was sharing his thoughts. There is a very funny looking spirit in the tub, round and red (!) but he doesn’t seem disturbed about it. It seems like a normal thing to him and though I know he sees it, he doesn’t pay attention to it.

He’s rather anxious though, and this is where I get very confused. It seems to be linked to a family, and even to the maid (who may have been tied to this family): I see a woman (his wife?) and two blond-haired little girls, dressed in the 1800’s or early 1900’s fashion. I have the impression that it’s his family and that they are in danger because of him, or affiliations that he has. (I think these were memories he was recalling at the moment.) I see men wearing old fashioned suits and top hats. One who appears to be the chief decides to send some of his men to the psychic’s house (which is not the apartment).

The little girl (Part II)
And past this point, I become immersed in this family’s story, from the younger girl’s point of view. It’s a very sad story (and a very long one) so I’ll skip the details. To make it short, the men come to their house and threaten the family who manages to escape and hide somewhere around the house, but because of that, the men are quite angry and talk about killing them now, in some horrible fashion. The mother and her daughters (and even a small boy is there) seem to think they don’t stand a chance and decide to give each others a quick death (with small butter knives such as those I have in my own kitchen!) before they get caught… But the older daughter doesn’t have the courage to give death to her little sister, so she’s left alive, alone. I seem to think that this story won’t end well for her but somehow, I want to make it otherwise. I want her to escape.

And so she (and I with her) runs and runs and she manages to arrive safely in what appears to be a castle and a court (and a quite otherworldly one at that!). A guard (or was he a page?) catches her running around. She’s scared but he’s gentle and he takes her under his wings and threats her as if she was a royal guest. He shows her the quarters of the royal guests (which were in royal tents outside the castle!), all of them rich foreigners from everywhere: French, Chinese and lots of others. From there, I know that she is going to be safe. I wake up.

***
I would love to have your insights about these dreams and if you have such dreams from time to time, how do you think they relate to you and your present life? Do you think they may be past lives or even parallel lives, or do you think it may be that you’ve reach someone else’s thoughts to the point that you actually shared a part of this person’s life somehow? Or do you think it’s a lot simpler than that and it’s some metaphor meant to highlight issues you may have in your own actual life?

[Korpo]

Hello, poeme.


I sometimes dream that I am someone else, or that I am with someone else, sharing this person’s thoughts and seeing through his or her eyes. Sometimes, I think I am this person in the whole dream. It’s only when I wake up that I realize I was not in my present body, but in someone else’s. Sometimes, I seem to know that I am accompanying someone else, and sharing a body that is not my usual dream body. Sometimes also, it feels as if I am watching from an exterior point of view, and my present body is not in the dream.

Yeah, I can relate to all of this. This can get even more confusing. I realised when reading the headlines of your shared experiences that you at least kept your gender. In one of my experiences I was for example a little girl... ;)

I think a past life connection is possible in such experiences. I had a few where I would consider that as a good explanation.


I have the impression that it’s in the 1960s and up since the girl is wearing jeans, or pants, if not jeans… And she takes the bus at the end of the dream. So unless she died young (I was born in the early 1980s), I can hardly think this one was a past life. Was it empathy then? Or was it linked to my life in a way that I did not want to see?

Well, in this specific case, I would say that homeless people (the girl you describe) live very threatened and insecure lives. Also, in my opinion we can share in many different experiences when needed - I can't of course guess the mechanism, "related lives" might be as good term as any. Nah, not yet another term... ;)

In the January 3 2011 experience you seem to be sharing in an OBE of hers. That's why the guides can go where she can't go. They're probably more advanced and can go to higher planes than she can at that stage.

In "The psychic’s apartment (Part I)" you might have experienced something Kurt describes. You can take on different roles within the same experience and/or directly gain information from the experience itself.

Cheers,
Oliver

[Sinera]

I sometimes dream that I am someone else, or that I am with someone else, sharing this person’s thoughts and seeing through his or her eyes. Sometimes, I think I am this person in the whole dream. It’s only when I wake up that I realize I was not in my present body, but in someone else’s. Sometimes, I seem to know that I am accompanying someone else, and sharing a body that is not my usual dream body. Sometimes also, it feels as if I am watching from an exterior point of view, and my present body is not in the dream. I can also have a confusing mix of all three experiences in one dream.
I can relate to that. It is like a movie with cuts and perspective changes going on all the time. I think it shows that we are in our Mental Body, at least partially in some dreams. If we were in the Astral Body only it would still be more like a permanent "ego-perspective".

[poème]

Thanks to both of you for commenting! I will take your insights and spend some time to think a little more about these dreams. I yet have to find their deeper meaning, for surely, I picked up this information for a reason, whatever these were: shared experiences, past live... or «related live», to use your term, Korpo... :wink: I probably needed to learn something from these or to heal something unresolved as to the little girl part...It could have also been some kind of retrieval, no? By saving her, maybe I actually saved myself (or a part of myself, or a past me, or... :wink: )



This can get even more confusing. I realised when reading the headlines of your shared experiences that you at least kept your gender. In one of my experiences I was for example a little girl... ;)


Actually, I had a few dreams, as a teen, in which I was a boy. I don't recall the dreams much but I do remember that I was quite confused and slightly disturbed by these in the morning :lol:



I think a past life connection is possible in such experiences. I had a few where I would consider that as a good explanation.

What led you to think so, in these cases... May I ask?



Also, in my opinion we can share in many different experiences when needed - I can't of course guess the mechanism, "related lives" might be as good term as any. Nah, not yet another term... ;)

This makes perfect sense... We are all one, after all. I'm pretty sure that we can reach someone else's thoughts in dreams as well as in the waking state, may it be in subtle ways. I know from experience (even from little experience) that it's especially true in dreams...

* Edited for spelling!

[Korpo]

Hello, poeme.



I think a past life connection is possible in such experiences. I had a few where I would consider that as a good explanation.
What led you to think so, in these cases... May I ask?

I remember one with a story with no relation to me, I am not the main character or anyone else, I can relate to the main character. The story, however, has nothing to do with my life. I might as well have watched a movie.

In yet another one the story seemed to have symbolic elements, but after I decoded them I realised that they were misunderstood parts of the story. Again the story did not seem to relate to my current life at all, it could have been during the second world war.

Cheers,
Oliver

[sono]

Hi, great idea for a thread. . .I too have had many dreams where I was someone else, briefly, I've a scientist (male) living on an island, whose son transformed himself into a liquid, which I then poured into the sea to give him immortality (terrible experience, that dream), plus various dreams where I am my own gender - a recurrent one is of myself in a different body, darker skin, a sort of polynesian look; here I am a big, strong muscled woman (not!) who carries a heavy weapon - I seem to be a soldier, guarding the island (yet again!).

[poème]

Hello, poeme.
In yet another one the story seemed to have symbolic elements, but after I decoded them I realised that they were misunderstood parts of the story. Again the story did not seem to relate to my current life at all, it could have been during the second world war.

I find it interesting how you think symbolic elements were misunderstood parts of the story. Could be so in my case too... I also noticed that symbolic elements were used to give a lighter tone to some parts of the story that could have been shoking to me otherwise... For instance, in the little girl story, the part where the family members give death to each others could have been traumatic for me if it had been shown exactly as it happened. So instead, the dream traded the original weapons used by something appearing harmless to me: small butter knifes... I did not see any blood or anything graphically shocking then, but the meaning behind this scene and others still got accross through the use of symbols.


Hi, great idea for a thread. . .I too have had many dreams where I was someone else, briefly, I've a scientist (male) living on an island, whose son transformed himself into a liquid, which I then poured into the sea to give him immortality (terrible experience, that dream), plus various dreams where I am my own gender - a recurrent one is of myself in a different body, darker skin, a sort of polynesian look; here I am a big, strong muscled woman (not!) who carries a heavy weapon - I seem to be a soldier, guarding the island (yet again!).
Thanks for stopping by, Sono! Your dreams seem to have a quite unusual and highly symbolic quality... I'm thinking of this one, but also of that other dream you shared elsewhere : The minotaur. Both these dreams have this same quality :)

[poème]

I know this was supposed to be a «thematic» dream journal but I’m so excited about this last experience I had that I’d like to share it here. As stated in the title, I’m really not sure whether this was an OBE, a WILD or even a lucid dream simulating an OBE. I barely had exit or return sensations and everything happened fairly quickly and smoothly, which really makes me doubt that my experience could be an OBE, but maybe some of you could help me sorting this out… If you are willing to read a long post that is, since I feel this is going to be very long indeed! J

So last night, I fell asleep at my usual hour and woke up also at what-seems-to-be-my-usual-hour these days: 4 am or so (!) Not tired enough to fall asleep shortly after, I spent another 3 hours or so thinking in bed and watching the ceiling. (Time actually really flies when doing so!) Among other things, I remember thinking about this strange feeling I had lately, as if something was missing or as if I was disappointed because not much happened lately and because my dream recall was rather poor. I thought that maybe I was due for something new and uplifting to happen, which made me think that maybe I should get started on the MAP and get more serious about OBEs. But then I wondered if that was really my desire… And I came to the conclusion that perhaps it was not really so at the moment, not out of fear, but simply because I thought I couldn’t really find a strong enough motivation to do so. But I guess I was proven otherwise later in the morning, whatever happened… ;)

March 6, 2011 (morning)
A circle on the ceiling…
I am watching at the ceiling and I notice something strange: there is a 5 to 7 inches wide blue-violet light circle on the ceiling. It’s kind of subtle at first but out of curiosity, I gaze at it and as I do so, I feel as if something in me starts spinning. At some point, I have the impression that my whole body is spinning but it was so strange that I am not so sure about this. As this is happening, I’m thinking about how unusual this is and how I never felt that… And I am also reminded that I’m supposed to remain calm if I don’t want the experience to abort, and to go with the flow. So I try to do, but I am still somewhat curious to see what is going to happen. The spinning stop and I feel as if I am floating or being carried toward the corridor of my apartment. I was not familiar with the spinning part but I am with this «being carried away» thing.
A door
As I am being carried away, I notice a closed door in the middle of the corridor of «my» apartment. (There is no such door in my real apartment) Assuming that I will go through it, I keep going with the flow, wondering about how it will feel to pass through a door, but to my surprise… I can’t seem to be able to pass through it and so, I am let down in front of it. I suppose I could have tried to simply open it but I can be stubborn at times… «People pass through doors and walls and windows in their OBEs, so I should be able to do that too!» I think. (I don’t remember clearly how I managed to do so but I apparently found a way through.)
…And a window!
I am still in «my» apartment, though it doesn’t much look like it. The configuration is similar but there is definitely a dream overlay. (I have had experiences more realistic than this one.) I am totally uplifted, and still kind of amazed that I am out! I am floating toward a large window to see how it’s like outside: it has nothing to do with what I would see in the waking state! Something inside tells me that I should stay inside and keep my outing short, but it seems much more exciting outside, so… I decide not to listen to this advice and try again my luck at passing through the window… Again, it’s not as easy as I thought! I pass my hand through it tough and seem to «play with the matter» as if it really wasn’t solid, pushing it away or «tearing it» (?) as if it was a piece of clothe and when the opening is large enough, I go through it and stand on the windowsill. It’s very high, a lot higher than my apartment really is. As I am looking all the way down, I am reminded of the scene from the movie Inception when the woman jumps into space from the window. (Not sure if I understood that movie well, but as a result, I am frightened for a second, thinking that I may be confusing dream with reality, but I take a look at the surroundings and the unrealistic feel is enough to reassure me…I am then pretty convinced that I am definitely NOT in my waking state! So I jump into space too…
Fun flight experiments!
…And start jumping-floating around, from roof to roof. Oddly enough, I even encounter another woman doing the same. My floating skills seem to need some improvement and I have some fun time experimenting around. I can easily start floating around a few feet above the ground but the hard thing is to go higher… and maintain the flight! One time, I run and jump above large stone stairs…but end up falling right in the middle of it in some silly way. I laugh at myself heartily. Some people turn their head and look at me but I don’t seem to mind.
There is also a strange game (?) with platforms at different heights to perhaps again practice flight, but I can’t find the words to describe that well. I recall trying it for a couple of minutes and again having some fun.
Then what…?
As I am doing so, I start thinking that maybe I should try to pursue a more concrete goal instead of just playing around. But I have no real goal in mind… I barely project, so I did not really give it much thought yet. The only thing that comes to my mind is that I could ask to meet with one of my guides, and that perhaps I would like to know what I should do next, what’s next on my path. But I remember that I asked exactly that the last time I thought I was out, and somehow, I feel that I don’t really need these answers that strongly at the moment. There is a time for everything after all. So I give up on this idea and continue exploring the platform thing.
Attempts at engaging a conversation
I eventually move to somewhere else, not too far though. It’s a kind of busy area. I want to engage a conversation with someone, anyone, just to see if I can actually have a conversation with one of them. (Robert Bruce says that in a WILD, the characters met can’t hold a deep conversation, that they seem somewhat «plastic» and one-dimensional.) I see two women who appear sympathetic and I go toward them. But they speak a foreign language, plus they are carrying heavy luggage and seem too busy to pay any attention to me, so I give up and look for another target. I seem to recognize someone I actually know in the waking state. I call him by his name a couple times as he’s rushing into an elevator. He finally looks at me… but doesn’t seem to recognize me. He asks me, surprised, something like «How do you know my name? « I am kind of surprised by his reaction too..! I give up and get out of the elevator before the doors close.
The man in the wall
This is the strangest part of this «dream». There is a man stuck in the wall. I only remember seeing is face, his hands and maybe his chest but I am not too sure. What I am sure of is that nobody pays attention to him even though he really seems to need a hand. Plus, he looks wounded. I recall something on his forehead, like a bandage (?) Somehow, I feel compassion for him. I go toward him and gently take his hand in mine. He joins his other hand on mine. I am not too sure what to do but I decide to simply send him positive energy and as I do so, I really feel a strong energy transfer from my heart chakra to his. I also recall feeling a strong energy flow running through my legs but I don’t remember if I felt it elsewhere. At some point, I start worrying about being «emptied» if I go too far, since I don’t really know how this works, and that perhaps some barriers may be needed , and as I’m thinking that, the «dream» fades to what resembles hypnagogic imagery and I know I am back in bed, though my eyes are still closed. All I have to do is to open my eyes. I do so. It’s around 8 in the morning. And I have only one word in mind: « Wow! « (If that’s considered a word! :-))
…The only sad thing is that I don’t know what happened to the man. I hope he was released from that wall. Makes me wonder why he was in this situation. I know there was a dream overlay so what did this represent? Someone stuck… Is it possible that he simply wanted to get out of his body, but was stuck? (What about the bandage though… I guess I shall stop making stories and end this long post here :-))

[CFTraveler]

Interesting set of experiences, poeme.
I think the experience with the man could have been a simulation, or a retrieval. How did you feel afterwards when you woke up?

[poème]

I felt... really good :)
And not «drained» at all in the end!

[poème]

The worries for the man came only afterwards, when I started analysing the dream more in depth... But I had none when I woke up, if I remember well, so I guess it's a good sign...

[CFTraveler]

It's possible that it was a retrieval, and the wall was symbolic of something that might have made sense to him. Maybe what you were thinking (that he could get out of there? That he could accept compassion?) was part of the retrieval.
Something like that... :)

[poème]

Thanks for the insights! It does make sense.. I could see that he was wounded, and that he needed help, perhaps healing. When he put his hand on mine, I did feel that it was somehow a sign that he could accept whatever it is that I could give him, and... that he was thankful too that someone paid attention to him in the end!

Well, if it truly was a retrival, I really hope I'll be able to be of help some other time too :)

[Sinera]

Fun flight experiments!
…And start jumping-floating around, from roof to roof. Oddly enough, I even encounter another woman doing the same. My floating skills seem to need some improvement and I have some fun time experimenting around. I can easily start floating around a few feet above the ground but the hard thing is to go higher… and maintain the flight! One time, I run and jump above large stone stairs…but end up falling right in the middle of it in some silly way. I laugh at myself heartily. Some people turn their head and look at me but I don’t seem to mind.
There is also a strange game (?) with platforms at different heights to perhaps again practice flight, but I can’t find the words to describe that well. I recall trying it for a couple of minutes and again having some fun. :D
For me, this whole description sounds very much like Kurt Leland's description of the Mental Plane Dream Zone Training area (or maybe it was still in the Astral), a kind of field, place or area where projectors (more at a time) can train and exercise their kinesthetic and movement abilities.

[poème]

For me, this whole description sounds very much like Kurt Leland's description of the Mental Plane Dream Zone Training area (or maybe it was still in the Astral), a kind of field, place or area where projectors (more at a time) can train and exercise their kinesthetic and movement abilities.

Very likely so, yes (whether astral or mentral or..) A part of this area did feel like a kind of «playground» to exercice flying and floating skills... And I wasn't alone there... There was at least this other woman I met on the roof tops!

[poème]

On March 6, after the experience described earlier, I spent some time thinking about it, wondering what it was, and trying to figure out whether it was a lucid dream or some kind of projection. I read again Robert Bruce’s thoughts on the topic but I could not find where my experience would fit. Surely, I was very lucid, but my experience was not «solid» and «realistic» enough to be a WILD in Robert Bruce’s terms, and yet, the exit and re-entry symptoms were not such as those he reports for an OBE: I felt no heavy vibrations or any heavy symptoms besides perhaps the spinning effect. «So was it only adream?» I then wondered.

That night, after a dream sequence, I had an experience which resembled the one I had the night before in some aspects, but which was completely different in some other aspects…

March 7, 2011 (morning)
The dream counterpart
I am laying on a bed, gazing at the ceiling again, when suddenly, a circle of blue-violet light appears, and this time, it’s even larger. I am surprised to see this happening again so soon, since I rarely have such unusual dreams or experiences twice in a row. It seems like I do have access to parts of my memory, but what’s strange is that I don’t seem to notice something important: I am not in my actual apartment, and not either in my own bedroom. I am in my childhood’s home. But I don’t seem to give this much thoughts and perhaps don’t remember that I am not sleeping in this bedroom now. I may be slightly lucid, but I can’t seem to think as clearly as I could in the previous experience. Compared to it, I seem to be only half there.

I gaze at the circle, and like the day before, I start feeling a spinning effect, but somehow it’s different: the experience is definitely not as smooth as it was, and I end up falling - not very gracefully - on the floor at the feet of the bed. I get up and go toward the door, which is open.
From the threshold of the door, I can see the living room. (The house has a cathedral roof and this bedroom, upstairs, opens on a balcony from which it’s possible to see downstairs.) What I see does resemble what I would see in the waking state, at least when it comes to the configuration of the place, but my dad is there, and all lights are turned on, though it should be 5 am or so in the physical. (I suppose he was actually asleep at the time) For some reason, I am concerned about my physical body, and I think that I could end up being hurt if I were to try to fly over the balcony. «What if it doesn’t work», I think(!) I also seem to be concerned about being seen by my dad, that if he were to see me flying around, it could disturb him (!) So I go back in the bedroom …

The bedroom has a similar configuration to its physical counterpart though the bed is not supposed to be there, and I don’t remember seeing the large mirror that is supposed to be there. I go toward the window and try to pass through it, like I did last time. I push with my hands on the glass. The matter seems to offer more resistance than it did in the previous experience. It doesn’t seem exactly solid, but it’s harder to create an opening which, anyway, closes itself as soon as my hand is no longer there. It’s kind of hard to explain, but as a result, I can’t seem to be able to get out this time and I give up on trying. «Anyway, it would be cold outside» I tell myself, apparently concerned about my physical body again (!) I wake up shortly after, just as I would wake up from a dream. (No fading and transition effect with hypnagogic imagery.)

***
I still can’t seem to tell for sure what both experiences were but I can see how different they were in quality. It’s very likely that the second one was a dream, since I know for sure that it came after a sequence of dreams I could remember well, but it’s also possible that one may project from a dream. Whatever it was, I have the feeling that its purpose was to give me a clue, a ground for comparison, to help me find the answer I was looking for, or perhaps to help me go further than this question… After all, is a label really needed here? Lately, I wondered why is it that I so want to know whether my experiences are dreams or not? Is it because somewhere, deep inside, I still believe that dreams are less «valid», less «real»?

Is it really so? I am starting to doubt that…

…More on this next time, maybe! :-)

[poème]

Dream communication – Part I

One of the reasons why I think dreams are more than «just dreams» is that, in some dreams, «normal» dreams, we appear to be able to communicate with each others, or to reach someone else’s mind in order to share information with this person (incarnated… or not).

Dream communication makes sense when one holds the belief that we are all one. I may be wrong but what I understand and mean here is that our very first nature is all about energy… And this energy has only one source, is one in everyone, even though we receive it and express it differently because of the matter we are made of, which filters the source in us through different bodies (physical as well as spiritual bodies, for they too are made of matter, though less dense matter). If indeed, we are all one and if our separateness from others, from the whole, is only an illusion maintained by matter, the ability to reach others, their thoughts and feelings, appears to be a very «natural» thing, considering our very own spiritual «nature». After all, at some level, we all are already interconnected… That being said, I believe that everyone contacts others in the dream state and that no special gift is needed to do so. I’m sure that everyone can recall, like me, at least one dream such as these I will tell, in which it seems that we reached someone else’s mind, or that we were reached…

Direct chat in the dream state with known persons
When such a connection seems to occur in some of my dreams, the person who reached me or whom I reached is likely to appear as a dream character and to directly chat with me in the dream. I am not saying here that every dream character that I chat with is someone else who communicates with me, but I recall one very striking dream I had in my twenties which shows that this can indeed happen…

A chat about a loved one’s death
One of my aunts, or one of my mother’s sisters, was diagnosed with cancer. As it is often the case, doctors could not tell when she would die even though it was surely a matter of months. There was no recovery possible. She lived far away and I did not know her that well, but my mother was very close to her when they were both younger and so, I guess this was affecting her more than what she was letting show through, for one night I dreamed of her. I don’t recall the details of our conversation since I never wrote down this dream but to make the story short, she came to me, crying over her sister’s death. And I didn’t know that she was dead when I had this dream. I was living on my own, away from home, and in fact, my mother had received the news over the phone that same night…

Letters, phone calls, emails, messages on boards…
Sometimes, the sender doesn’t show up directly in the dream but seems to send his or her message though other means… I’m sure that everyone, in a dream, once received a letter, a phone call or even an email or a message on a board… I suspect these to be genuine dream communication. Of course, one has to keep in mind that it may not always be the case, and that the content, as well as the sender, may be symbolic and may need to be analysed. However, I maintain that it is sometimes the case, perhaps more often than not…

A letter from a guide
Once, in my teen years, two friends and I played with a Ouija board. I was kind of sceptical back then but they managed to prove me that there was really something going on. The topic of angels/guides (I don’t recall the term we used) was brought in one question… And after that day, I started thinking that if I did have such guides, they were not doing a very good job since I was very unhappy (how very ungrateful indeed! :lol:) And this thought would cross my mind from time to time, especially when something «bad» would happen, even though I was actually unhappy because of who I was – a shy and oversensitive teen with a low self esteem - rather than because of external events.

That being said, in my late teen years, I had a dream in which I received a letter from someone. I never wrote down this dream either, so I can’t recall for sure what was in the letter, but I remember how sad and sorry I felt while I was reading. In the dream, I knew who this letter was from and I knew where to find this person. I went searching for him right away, and found him sitting on a bench, in some strange looking otherworldly building. He asked me if I still thought that he was doing such a bad job (!) and I told him, without hesitation, that it was not so, really not so, and I think I added other things, possibly that I actually appreciated what he was doing for me… And since then, I never had again this thought that used to cross my mind as a teen…

***

I’d be curious to know if you can relate to any of this or if you think you experienced dream communication in some other way. If you have any comments, or would like to post a dream of that type here, you are welcome to do so. If however, you prefer to remain silent, for whatever reason, I hope you had a nice time reading this –again - long post! :-)

[Korpo]

Hello, poeme.

I like the ideas you are presenting. I don't know if it was Kurt who wrote it, but I recall someone stating that the real art of out-of-body communication is to reach within and discover the common ground with the other. I'd say not everyone has the same access to this, though, partly to the psychological issues involved.

Over the years I could identify several dreams (not all mine) that seem to be the result of attempts at remote influencing, not necessarily consciously induced, but traceable to specific people. All of them were strong-willed individuals with an agenda to push, and they obviously continued to do so at night. Those dreams were often marked by recognition of what was going on and an act of resistance.

I guess if that can happen, anything can happen. I would guess that these cases were thoughtforms sent out by others and hanging around my energy field till they would resolve in a dream scenario, just like my own thoughts and emotions do. It's like a "transferred impulse" in that two things are clearly separate (at least at some level) but an impulse or vibration transfers over.

Similarly I have believed for quite a while that a good deal of the thoughts we think are resonances of the thought and feeling forms (what Robert Monroe called the "M-Band") making contact with our energy field. As we develop spiritually less and less of the lower thoughts and emotions resonate, leading to an ever calmer and more settled mind. Kurt has often stressed that in order to go beyond the dream zone and reach the public astral one has to be reaonably clear of such obstructing energies as well. I guess it's the same thing at another level. A mind not busy resonating to the lower things can take in the higher things presented to it while being immersed in nonphysical reality.

But I digress. ;)

Cheers,
Oliver

[Sinera]

Regarding dream interaction: I don't want to write too much here since it is poeme's thread. I will post one recent adventure in a (soon to be started) OBE-journal of mine. The point is this: I believe that also as a "lucid" (projector/dreamer) you can pretty well interact with "non-lucids" ("normal" dreamers, so to speak), especially when they are personally and emotionally entangled with you (friends, lovers, kinship, etc).
I will post this event soon. I have recent instances that prove to me that as "lucid" (projector) I interact with the (emotional) dreams of my mother, some physical / astral-counterpart locations also play a role here.
She, of course, seems to remember none of it, although I tried to implant memory by agreeing on a code word - in vain, though (I did not ask her directly yet, but checked for keywords and her reaction, maybe I need to press her more directly on it). It turns out, I have no other explanation as to have been - almost violently in a way - drawn into her vivid dreams one or two times now.
(The funny thing is also, that it resembles another forum account of another projector. It really happened in a very similar way for me now. I will also provide a link to the other account that is pretty similar to it. I think it's interesting.)

[poème]

I would guess that these cases were thoughtforms sent out by others and hanging around my energy field till they would resolve in a dream scenario, just like my own thoughts and emotions do.

This makes so much sense... Perhaps everytime we think of someone, such thoughtforms are created, consciously or not, and reach this person's energy field. Maybe the person pick it up or feels it to some degree if she or he is open to it, which would explain so many small strange things that happen to everyone: thinking of a person just before he or she calls or just before you run into him or her, feeling suddenly extremely sad (or extremely joyful) for no traceable reason, etc. Then I guess such thoughtforms may be cleared out through a dream, just like you say, or it may dissolves itself after some time, quickly or not, depending on how strong it is.

This shows how much influence we may have over each others and just how much we are all together in this adventure called «life»... I find this fascinating, yet slightly scary at the same time!



Similarly I have believed for quite a while that a good deal of the thoughts we think are resonances of the thought and feeling forms (what Robert Monroe called the "M-Band") making contact with our energy field. As we develop spiritually less and less of the lower thoughts and emotions resonate, leading to an ever calmer and more settled mind.

Resonances... Like attracts like, in other words?

If I understood you well, what you say implies that a good deal of our thoughts aren't exactly ours...
This had me thinking that perhaps one cannot identify to his or her thoughts at all, since it's possible that they aren't truly entirely «ours»... They seem to be everyone's, to be available to anyone who is likely to resonate with them...
Also,the influence of others constantly transforms our thoughts and ideas and plant seeds in us, seeds that may be watered by other thoughts and ideas picked up in someone else's book or through someone else's words, until these seeds grow and bear fruits. In the end, these fruits may be the result of so many thoughts and ideas borrowed from others that it becomes strange to see them as «ours alone»...
...Really got carried and so off-topic here! But thanks to you for bringing me there I guess :)



But I digress. ;)

But it was so interesting to read ;)




The point is this: I believe that also as a "lucid" (projector/dreamer) you can pretty well interact with "non-lucids" ("normal" dreamers, so to speak), especially when they are personally and emotionally entangled with you (friends, lovers, kinship, etc). I will post this event soon. I have recent instances that prove to me that as "lucid" (projector) I interact with the (emotional) dreams of my mother, some physical / astral-counterpart locations also play a role here.

Sounds really interesting. I'm looking forward to reading your story! :D



She, of course, seems to remember none of it, although I tried to implant memory by agreeing on a code word - in vain, though (I did not ask her directly yet, but checked for keywords and her reaction, maybe I need to press her more directly on it). It turns out, I have no other explanation as to have been - almost violently in a way - drawn into her vivid dreams one or two times now.

I don't know what would do the trick here... Maybe a different type of implant woudl work better? In a story I read (Winged Pharaoh from Joan Grant), a «dream priestess» of ancient Egypt would, in the «dream», put her hand (or was it a finger) on the person's forehead (or on the third eye I guess) and say something like «You will remember this» as a method to implant memory.
Maybe it would be worth a try... Then, you would have to ask your mother to tell you her dreams though... I don't know if you two have this kind of conversation... As for myself, I certainly don't chat about my dreams with my mother (or very rarelly) but... :lol:

[Sinera]

Perhaps everytime we think of someone, such thoughtforms are created, consciously or not, and reach this person's energy field.
Did you read the Seth book(s)? That is what is talked about there, too. You always kind of send "light copies of self" to other persons when thinking of them.

Then, you would have to ask your mother to tell you her dreams though... I don't know if you two have this kind of conversation... As for myself, I certainly don't chat about my dreams with my mother (or very rarelly) but... :lol:
No, me not really either normally, I could have tried get into this conversation to relating to the topic (of her dream). Maybe I will give it another try, at least maybe try to elicit somehow the password I gave her.

[poème]

Perhaps everytime we think of someone, such thoughtforms are created, consciously or not, and reach this person's energy field.
Did you read the Seth book(s)? That is what is talked about there, too. You always kind of send "light copies of self" to other persons when thinking of them.


No, not yet... But someone else told me about these books not so long ago.. And I recall that you also told me about them before... I guess this means I should really take a look at these! There might be something for me in there :)

[Korpo]

Hello, poeme.

I am still exploring this myself, but I have an analogy for you.

Imagine you were a hollow glass ball, and got dropped into water. Now, if the glass ball has cracks in it and holes, it takes in water and sinks to the ground. But if the glass ball is solid it will not fill with water, and it will bob to the surface.

Similarly to this glass ball your being is immersed in nonphysical reality. Your lowest impulses will determine at which level you end up. As long as your energy body has these cracks and holes caused by your own unresolved emotions, obsessive thinking, unfulfilled desires, disregarded needs or beliefs in conflict with reality, the body will sink down to the level where those things originate. You can sometimes bob up beyond that, but you will sink back down again until you take care of these matters.

Also, as long as these openings in your energy field exist, they allow in such energies and thought forms that are in alignment with them. A person with unresolved anger issues is more prone to getting angry again and again. Such a person is also prone to be the spontaneous receiver of undesirable feeling forms. Let's say this person walks into a room full of angry people - for example on the airport when a flight got cancelled - is also more likely to spontaneously have angry thoughts without even making the connection that it is the environment causing them.

The picture Volgerle quoted from Seth is especially suitable when thinking about directed obsessive thinking. I have multiple times had dream scenarios where people who wanted something from me badly showed up in my dreams, trying to continue their manipulations. This was really their thoughtforms finding me.

Many thoughts that spontaneously cross our mind are not the result of directed thinking, but from such impacts of thoughtforms, but also seemingly randomly arising from unresolved material within. How often have you found yourself derailing your own train of thought by being caught up in an old grudge you bear someone, or a memory from your youth? This is exactly the kind of tendencies many meditation techniques try to resolve by directing your attention back to the object of meditation.

So, there's outer impact, and there's also habits of thought, and there's unresolved material, and the consequence is a busy mind. I wouldn't exactly say most of our thoughts derive from elsewhere, but a spontaneous experience has taught me by example that the mind can even go on thinking when it is not "I" doing the thinking.

Cheers,
Oliver

[poème]

Hello Korpo!
Thanks for the analogy...I think I may not have understand entirely what you meant the first time.
And this made things very clear:

Imagine you were a hollow glass ball, and got dropped into water. Now, if the glass ball has cracks in it and holes, it takes in water and sinks to the ground. But if the glass ball is solid it will not fill with water, and it will bob to the surface.

Similarly to this glass ball your being is immersed in nonphysical reality. Your lowest impulses will determine at which level you end up. As long as your energy body has these cracks and holes caused by your own unresolved emotions, obsessive thinking, unfulfilled desires, disregarded needs or beliefs in conflict with reality, the body will sink down to the level where those things originate. You can sometimes bob up beyond that, but you will sink back down again until you take care of these matters.

As for the Seth books, I borrowed two of them at my local library, so I might be able to come back to you (and Volgerle) about this concept you two mention. If I picked the right Seth books that is, for there are many of these! :lol:

[poème]

In my dreams, I seem to enjoy chatting in bed(!) And somehow, I feel that these dreams may be other cases of dream communication... Typically, the dream setting is a bedroom, but not necessarily my own: more often than not, it is my childhood’s bedroom (back home, it seems…). The person or being visiting me is usually at my side (at a respectful distance) on the bed, and we simply chat together. Sometimes, the pattern may be slightly different and instead of a bed, there may be a mattress laid on the floor, especially if the dream setting is not the bedroom. The visitor may also be standing somewhere else in the bedroom, but in all cases, I am still laying on the bed (or mattress) while conversing.

August 13, 2010
Conservation with a strange visitor…
That night, an alien-looking being visited me in my dream childhood bedroom. There was a heavy dream overlay: it didn’t even slightly look like it (but this is not that unusual in my «normal» dreams). The being had a grey-blue coloured skin, a long and very thin body, long legs and a long skull, no clothes, (but it seemed normal). He was standing at the feet of the bed on which I was laying, and from that distance, we chatted…about stuff I totally forgot when I woke up! But from what I remember, he (or she) was non-threatening and I held no fear at all. Moreover, the conversation felt somewhat slightly friendly…

About «home»
I don’t have any proof that this being was not a dream character or that it was not pure dream imagery, but the symbolism of the dream bed and the dream bedroom really intrigues me…
Since these dreams typically picture my childhood’s bedroom, back «home», I am led to think that my children’s house, at least in these cases, is likely to be a symbol of my «home» in the dream state, i.e. where I come from, where I grew up. In the waking state, I moved out more than 10 years ago, but I always considered this house as my «home». And since I tend to move a lot in the physical, it is a «home» I also view as permanent and stable, my anchor, a place where I could always go back to… And where do we go back to every night while we sleep...?

About dream bedrooms and beds (or mattresses)
The dream bedroom may symbolize my personal dream zone in these cases. After all, a bedroom is a private and personal space. As for the dream bed, I would be likely to think that it represents the private space where my consciousness rests and revitalizes itselfwhile in the dream state, most of the time in my personal dream zone (bedroom) or outside of it when a mattress is simply laid on the floor out of the bedroom.

Conversations in bed
If the dream bed in a dream bedroom is indeed a symbol of the private space where my consciousness rests (bed) in my personal dream zone (bedroom), the beings and persons whom I then picture at my side on the bed may be closely in touch with my consciousness at this moment. How so? I may literally let them enter my dream zone (bedroom) or perhaps this kind of communication may work from afar. It could then mean that these persons or beings connected with me from their own distant personal space, while I was in the dream state, in my dream zone, and this is how my mind translated this type of connection and communication. These are wild speculations of course, but the next story, one of the strangest nights I have had so far, leads me further on this path of thoughts…

June 25, 2010
Connection with a spirit
I First set of dreams: the love triangle
At first, I seem to be only an observer and I don’t think I am in a dream body. One of the main characters is young woman with beautiful white hair. She seems to be involved in some love triangle: two young men are accompanying her in different scenes. One of these scenes is set in a bus. She is sitting next to one of the men, and the other one is sitting alone on the bench ahead. The man at her side is in love with her and he tells her so, and this makes her uncomfortable, aware that the other man may be hearing this. He also mentions that they kissed before and this seems to disappoint the other man and makes her even more uncomfortable.

The I recall some scenes focusing on the other man (the disappointed one) alone, scenes where he appears young, handsome, gentle and with a good sense of humour, always there to give a hand… I wake up in the middle of the night….

II In the waking state: a phone call in the middle of the night
…And shortly after, I hear the phone ringing (It is around 3 am!). I seriously wonder who wants to reach me in the middle of the night, but I am so tired and the phone is so far away, that I don’t feel like getting up. «Leave a message, if it’s important» I think. The phone keeps ringing until I hear my greeting message – the whole thing – but no message is left. I fall asleep again after some time spent thinking (and watching the ceiling). :lol:

III Second set of dreams: a strange chat in bed…with a spirit
I am lying on my bed, in my actual bedroom. Next to me, there is a man. He looks «solid», just like any other dream character, but I seem to know that he is a spirit and I seem to know that he is the spirit of the disappointed young man whom I had dreamed of earlier that night. He looks different tough, older, with tired features. For some reason, I ask him if he was the one who called me earlier… and he says «yes»(!)

It’s not directly linked to the theme, but in this conversation, he mentioned two very intriguing things…
The «angry tiger»
He said something about «an angry tiger» watching over me, who did not approve of his presence here with me. It seems that even tough this being watching over me (a guide, a guardian angel, or a self aspect guarding my consciousness) was wary of this spirit’s presence, his hands were tied and he could not do anything, as if I had given this spirit my permission to get in touch, therefore, the guarding «tiger» could not (and perhaps would not want to) go against my will… This makes me wonder how and when I gave this spirit such permission… On the bright side, it shows that we are watched over and protected, as long as it goes hand in hand with our own will…
«My god»
He also mentioned that «my god was beautiful» (!) I was not religious back then, and still am not, but at the time, I was trying to understand the concept of God, and I was kind of reshaping and adapting the traditional beliefs into something else, more personal to me. He was probably referring to this personal view or belief I was forging at the time, which perhaps was a thought form he could see or have access to since he was in touch with my consciousness (he was next to me on my dream bed). I also mention this because it’s tied to what comes next… The spirit’s presence seems to interfere with my energy and I feel strange energy changes or vibrations in me. I tell him, firmly, to stop this, for I want to stay on my god’s side, I want to keep my beliefs. (I am not exactly sure of the words used here; I only recalled the over all meaning and the feelings associated with my reply.) He stops and it ends this scene.

IV Searching for the girl
We are walking together on a narrow stone path and we keep chatting, but I lost the details of this conversation. I think he wants me to help him find this white haired girl he was in love with in he first set of dreams. He disappears and I start running along the path for I know I am almost «out of time» and I am searching around for this girl. Did I find her? I am not sure. I recall a scene in which they are pictured together, but since I did not remember all the pieces of these dreams in chronological order, I am not sure if this scene came in the first set of dream (before I searched for her) or the second set (after). I can only hope that it came after…

***

Again, I’d be curious to know if you are familiar with these dreams symbols or if you think such types of connections are pictured with different symbols in your dreams. If you had similar experiences, I’d love to read about them also. In other words, any comment is welcome, as usual :-)

[Sinera]

About «home»I don’t have any proof that this being was not a dream character or that it was not pure dream imagery, but the symbolism of the dream bed and the dream bedroom really intrigues me…
Since these dreams typically picture my childhood’s bedroom, back «home», I am led to think that my children’s house, at least in these cases, is likely to be a symbol of my «home» in the dream state, i.e. where I come from, where I grew up. In the waking state, I moved out more than 10 years ago, but I always considered this house as my «home». And since I tend to move a lot in the physical, it is a «home» I also view as permanent and stable, my anchor, a place where I could always go back to… And where do we go back to every night while we sleep...?
About dream bedrooms and beds (or mattresses)The dream bedroom may symbolize my personal dream zone in these cases. After all, a bedroom is a private and personal space. As for the dream bed, I would be likely to think that it represents the private space where my consciousness rests and revitalizes itself while in the dream state, most of the time in my personal dream zone (bedroom) ...
I am truly fascinated how strong the parallels to my experiences are with these 2 points. Yes, I have also my childhood bedroom as a starting place for many (lucid and non-lucid) adventures. It is also "home" for me. However, I think there is more to it - at least in my case, but possibly in yours, too, if you check on this.

First, we know from dream symbolism, that a "house" in general can also signify your "self" (or "ego" in this life). So it might be both. An astral/dream zone that is still private, and due to its privateness it is about your"self". The childhood room again might thus represent the very inner sanctuary of home-feeling and security.

For example, I had a dream about a necessary renovation on the roof. Likewise in physical life my physical body has most of its problems at the head (ear, nose) currently, possibly also energy probs with the upper chakras. Also I had a complete renovation of the upper floor bathroom lately, this renovation with modern furniture and installations can also mean to put new things "into the head" and this is what I do now, since I am about to learn a lot of stuff for me in a new field in my professional life (It is about health and medicine, therefore the bathroom as the most 'sanitary' place in the house makes a lot of sense to me).

However, this kind of "self" might also have an outer aspect to it (as a house, e.g.) that might represent your personality to the outer public (astral) zone and can be looked at and "visited", possibly entered if you leave a permission (or by violence if it is more of a neg entity). This leads me now to the second point:

Secondly, I call my childhood bedroom also "gate" or "portal" now since it features in most of my lucid or semi-lucid adventures as a starting point, but also in regular dreams. I once flew lucid through the window and it seemed I was immediately on the Astal Plane over a city (later could even get higher up, possibly to the Mental plane - it was a library).

Thus, we have numerous aspects of the "house" or "room in house" combined: It might be 1) an outer (visible and partly accessible) astral representation of your 2) inner "ego/self" and private/dreamzone place, which somehow could also be 'entangled' with the 3) physical counterpart on Earth somehow (not necessarily in the same timeframe, since e.g. my childhood room of course does not exist anymore today, but that is not important in the Astral) and 4) your deliberately (but still subconsciously) chosen starting place (to "go out") for astral adventures.

So this is my advice (or rather two): if you like should you ever be lucid in your bedroom, try to fly through the window and you might have an astral experience. However I also have flewn out of other exits of my childhood/parent's house lately, sometimes even - quite conventional - I left (completely lucid) through the main entrance door (after a memorable talk with my Mum). Secondly, maybe (if lucid) you could to try to examine the other rooms and the vicinity too and then try interpretations that have to do with your "self" and private life.

Yes, I also had strangers at my bed (but this time it was my current bed and current room), once an older lady with a syringe, but I did not felt threatened, rather helped. She talked to me but I don't remember anything of the conversation.

[poème]

However, I think there is more to it - at least in my case, but possibly in yours, too, if you check on this.
There was definitly more to it, yes, and in your reply, you brought some rich elements I will be able to add to my model, which I felt somewhat incomplete, for if I were to consider the bedroom as one’s private dream zone, what would I make of the other rooms of the «home», and what about the home itself?



However, this kind of "self" might also have an outer aspect to it (as a house, e.g.) that might represent your personality to the outer public (astral) zone and can be looked at and "visited", possibly entered if you leave a permission (or by violence if it is more of a neg entity).
I find this very interesting: that we may have an «address» in the public zone at which we can be «visited» or reached… A private space in a public space… So, the whole house, the wholehome could actually represent one’s private dream zone, and not the bedroom alone. The bedroom would then be an even more private space, the most private of all, the «inner sanctuary» :

The childhood room again might thus represent the very inner sanctuary of home-feeling and security.

As for the other rooms of the house (as well as all the furniture and appliances), surely they would also have a specific symbolism and even a function in this personal dream zone (the home, the house), according to what we associate with these rooms (or appliances) and perhaps, to the functions they have in the physical.
Resting could be the function of the bed for instance, but also sharing intimacy, as in sharing the inner sanctuary.
Cleaning, purifying could be the function of the shower or the tub.
And so on…
I believe these may be very personal and are liekly to change slightly (or perhaps greatly) from one person to another. For instance, I don’t think I would be likely to associate «health» and «medicine» with the bathroom in my case. But when I read this, I thought it made perfect sense in your case. Our dreams do speak our own personal language after all. Some symbols may be shared by many, but some do take on a personal meaning. But you may know that already, so I may be babbling here :lol:

As for the bedroom being a «gate» to the astral, I did notice that as well. It makes sense when you think of it : if you leave your «home», ie your personal dream zone, which is already in a public zone (astral perhaps), it’s only logical that you shall find yourself out there, in this public space, often pictured as a city, apparently :

I once flew lucid through the window and it seemed I was immediately on the Astal Plane over a city.
Last time I went out of my childhood's bedroom and home, I also ended up flying over a city... :wink:


Secondly, maybe (if lucid) you could to try to examine the other rooms and the vicinity too and then try interpretations that have to do with your "self" and private life.
This is a good idea: I think I will give this a try sooner or later!

[poème]

…And about thoughts, beliefs and concepts

Some dream symbols may be shared by many (perhaps all), since we all share one thing: the human experience, i.e. to have a human body in a physical environment. Some other dream symbols may also be shared by many, since we do share a common cultural background with many…

But despite of everything we share with others, our existence is unique in many ways, and this shows through in our dream language. Lately I had a dream that reminded me to which extent dreams speak the dreamer’s language, a language that is customized, and a language that is not entirely shared by all…

***
Previously on this thread, I said:
« (…) the influence of others constantly transforms our thoughts and ideas and plant seeds in us, seeds that may be watered by other thoughts and ideas picked up insomeone else’s book or through someone else’s words, until these seeds grow and bear fruits.»

During the week, this analogy kept coming back to my mind: how thoughts and ideas we attract put seeds in us, and how we are a unique soil (with unique properties) for these seeds to grow in a unique way, and how these seeds are watered by other thoughts and ideasuntil they grow into plants, i.e. a synthesis of many thoughts/ideas resulting in beliefs and concepts.

A few days later, I had this dream which visibly «spoke my language» by using as symbols the elements of this personal analogy I had pondered on during the week (as well as recent life material, since lately, I started worrying about one of my plants that could really look healthier):

March 26
A visit by a plant caretaker
I am in «my» apartment, although it doesn’t even look like an apartment… There are walls but no ceiling and no roof either… I guess it’s an «open sky concept» (!) In the «room», there are around 10 plants put sides to sides on mural shelves. A plant caretaker lady is with me. She is there to evaluate how healthy my plants are and to tell me how I can take better care of them. Most of the plants look healthy but one or two of them look dead. She says I will need to replace them. Some other plants look like they are withering. She seems to think that there is no need to worry about these; they need water, but they will be fine… As long as I do water them, that is :-)

Here, the parallels are so obvious to me:
-I will need to replace old beliefs/concepts that no longer suit me (dead plants) with new ones.
-Some of my beliefs/concepts (the withering plants) could use water (ideas and thoughts picked up in «someone else’s book or through someone else’s words».)

In other words, I will have toread more and to sharemore…:-)

[Korpo]

Hello, poeme.

This also picks up on some more archetypal dream symbols as well. Plants very often represent growth. The plant caretaker is then a guide monitoring and assisting your growth. The dead areas are parts of your life that you have withdrawn from and now need to properly finish up on. The withering plants may be growth areas that need more attention. And the larger part of your growth is doing just fine.

I know what you mean when you talk about the personal dream language, or rather a dream language based on what's on your mind at the moment. I have a recent example of my own:

I had been fighting with the setup of a computer till late into the night in order to make a program work that I want to use to compose music with. When I finally laid down I was asking myself if the effort was really worth it or if I should switch my approach.

I dreamt one single image - a treble and a bass clef and five notes, three on the upper forming a triad, and two on the lower. Also some writing, but the letters written did not resemble the notes written. But both the notes on the treble clef and the notes written as letters formed a chord/triad.

When I wrote the dream to Kurt he told me (he's a composer by profession) that both chords were minor chords and that these indicated that issues might be rather minor. The answer had been coded in a language related to the problem I was thinking about - in the language of music.

Cheers,
Oliver

[poème]

This also picks up on some more archetypal dream symbols as well. Plants very often represent growth.

Hello! Thanks for your insightful comments. I appreciate that you point me out other ways to interpret my dreams and how to deepen my analysis. Also, I do agree that plants often represent growth. However, in this specific case only, although I am aware that I may be wrong, I am not so sure that the plants were about my overall growth, or actually they were, yes, but at a smaller scale, since I really was focused on my belief system at the time.

Before I had this dream, I had started reading the first chapters of one of the Seth book which are about limitative personal beliefs, hence why it brought back this analogy I thought of earlier and why I came to associate again, temporarily, beliefs to plants. This had me wondering if I held such limitative beliefs/concepts that I should dispose of (dead plants that should be replaced?) and overall, in which condition was my belief system. I also wondered if I had beliefs that were too narrow and would need to be enriched (or watered as in the analogy) with more information and other points of views.

That being said, at a larger scale, I certainly have some unfinished business and I certainly need to pay more attention to some growth areas I may have walked away from or temporary put on the shelves. I will also think over this since I am sure there is a lot of work to do in these areas as well… Then who knows, maybe I’ll dream of an orchard and of a tree caretaker who’ll come to tell me how to take better care of my trees… :lol:


I know what you mean when you talk about the personal dream language, or rather a dream language based on what's on your mind at the moment.

I like this way of wording it. That’s actually more like it...


When I wrote the dream to Kurt he told me (he's a composer by profession) that both chords were minor chords and that these indicated that issues might be rather minor. The answer had been coded in a language related to the problem I was thinking about - in the language of music.

A beautiful language…
…And a quite inventive way to get the message across!

[poème]

I know… This is a truly long post, but I never had such an eventful night before and I simply couldn’t stop writing… Well, I hope you’ll have a good time reading it… As much as I had a good time writing it! And as usual, comments are welcome, if you have any :-)

April 6, 2011
First outing
I A «weight» on my back
It is around 1:30am and I am still awake. I may be too energized, and my mind is an incessant chatterbox, which doesn’t help! I try to calm down, eyes closed, in order to force sleep, and I try to lay on both sides, as well as on the back, to end on my stomach… And this is when an odd sensation occurs: I feel a weight on my back, as if there was another body on me. The thought that it might be my own energy body doesn’t even cross my mind. (This is very funny since I got caught at this game every time something alike happened to me up till now!) I don’t feel threatened in any way though and I move slightly on my side with the intent to «throw the weight over the bed», but by doing so, I also end up rolling over the bed. I laugh lightly.
II Split memories..?
Lucidity is rather low and I don’t remember much of this outing. My memories of it are incredibly confused. I vaguely remember talking to someone (aren’t I chatty!) but at the same time I remember being in bed, eyes closed, waiting for Morpheus to come. (Split memory perhaps?) I remember saying something like «If I can be of any help, I would like to give a hand…» That being said, I start feeling some light sensations and I feel a sort of void beneath «my body» and as this is happening, I’m thinking that I may be in the process of exiting my body, and I think to myself that it’s been a while since I last «projected» and I am happy about this happening… But this is when I realize that actually, I just came back(!). I now realize I am in my physical body, eyes closed. All I have to do is to open them… I do so. It is around 2am.

Second outing
I An upward «movement»
I lay on my back and try again my luck at falling asleep, eyes closed. After some time, I start feeling light sensations shortly followed by an upward movement. I keep «my eyes closed» as long as the movement sensation lasts and when it feels «stable», I «open» them. I am floating over the bed, a dream bed I think, since I am not in my current bedroom. The bed is in what I identify as my current living room, although again, it doesn’t look exactly like it, and well… There is no bed in my living room! The configuration is similar, but the furniture is not there. It is slightly dark, as dark as it should be at this time of the night.
II Someone…
There is someone on the side of the bed, who seems to be gently trying to make me re-enter my body. I ask him if I am out. He says yes, but he seems to think that I shouldn’t be out. I resist, and tell him that I want to go out, I want to explore! I ask him to come with me, to explore with me. He let me go then, but I don’t exactly go very far… And I only end up «exploring» the apartment. I look through the patio door, and I see a full moon. I tell my «co-explorer» that this is strange, since I remember seeing only a quarter earlier that night, before bedtime. He says something like «It’s always a full moon.» Why would he say that, I still have no clue! We sit on the bed, and we read together a long scientific article, in French as well as in English, and I think we compare both versions.

I don’t remember how I re-entered my body, perhaps this faded into a dream, and I woke up again between 2:30 and 3am. (Forgot to check at the moment I woke up) I then take some time to write down what I remember from both this experience and the first one.

Third outing – A guided tour!
I Exit
After some time spent quietly in bed, I start feeling an odd sensation. I lack the vocabulary to describe this but I’ll give it a try: it feels as if the chest area is «opening» or «splitting» (?). I take a deep breath and I feel it «opening» more. I then wait for something else to happen, perhaps some kind of movement that would bring me out without any effort on my part (!). But this time, nothing more happens. I realize I will have to exit on my own… I try to put pressure on the energy body to make it exit, but I realize that I have no clue how this is done. Besides, nothing happens. I try affirmations, but again, no luck. I also try to visualise myself in the living room, Ã♥ la Buhlman, but this doesn’t do the trick either. «Alright then, I think, let’s do like so many do: roll over! « I do so, and I end up on the floor. «That’s it? « I then think, wondering if I’m really out or if I rolled off my bed in the physical (!). Instinctively, I walk toward the door…
II A dramatic change of scene
…And I walk a little in the corridor, when suddenly, as if someone had turn on the lights in a somewhat dark room, I find myself in the middle of a completely different room, and a bright one at that! I look on my left and I see someone standing there, at a distance, turning his head towards me…Oddly enough, he is completely naked! I’m quite surprised but I seem to know him and I try to tell him something, but my voice doesn’t respond. I am shocked and highly disappointed that I can’t even speak, plus I feel disoriented. I make a gesture to make him understand that I can’t seem to be able to say a thing and that I’m sorry about that. He comes nearby and simply tells me his name, then I try again to say something, and some sounds finally come out, though I can barely make myself understood at first, but it seems to adjust little by little until I can finally speak normally, which feels much better.
III An office setting
I realize we are in an office building, a very busy one, full of men and women in business suits. I follow him around, and I start seriously wondering why he is walking all naked as if it was perfectly normal… Everyone else is dressed up! But besides me, nobody else seems to find this inappropriate… (I have actually thought about this and I now realize that there was a purpose to this; it was meant to teach me something, - more on this next time, maybe - and once he had made his point, he appeared with clothes on.)

We walk together around the office building, which is quite big. The atmosphere is very positive, although everyone looks so busy. I am amazed by everything I see, like some curious and overjoyed child… I ask tons of questions I never thought I would have the nerves to ask and I am quite surprised that he does take the time to answer…sometimes. (I am not surprised, however, that I couldn’t recall most of this when I woke up, although I could recall that I felt so daring to ask some of these questions!) Among other things, I ask what is that office building for? What are these people all working on? He gives me a one-word answer that I don’t fully understand. I think I heard a word in English, but this word doesn’t make much sense to me in this context. I repeat the word in French, to be sure I understood, but I get no answer. He is not that much of a talkative guy, indeed, but I feel ok with that and I am actually quite comfortable in his company ;) I then think that maybe he didn’t understand so I ask him if he speaks English or French. He tells me «both» in English, and I feel silly for I know that there are no such language barriers at a spiritual level.
IV The end of the tour
At some point, I think another guide replaced the first one, for his appearance and personality changed drastically. The first one was thin and shorter, with dark hair. I was now with a tall and heavy-set guy with short blond hair and beard. He was very talkative and open and he spoke mainly English to me, while the other guide pronounced his name Ã♥ la française when he introduced himself. He happily tells me whose idea it was to bring me here, and he mentions another person’s name to whom he spoke about this and who said something like « Ok, but she’s not much around.» I am not exactly sure what he is referring to, but I reply «No, I’m not», thinking that he may either mean that I don’t project (or sleep!) much or that I don’t have access to this plane (or this place) much.

We are now outside of the building, at the entrance. It looks somewhat darker down here, as if dusk had fallen. I ask him «What was that place, again?» thinking loudly that I will certainly write this on the forum! :twisted: At this point, I kind of doubt that he will provide me any answer but he does: it sounds like «Danemozy» or «Danimozy». (I have no clue how this is supposed to be spelt tough, and later on, I did a quick search on the Internet and found nothing even close to that word…Perhaps this is why I was told ;)) «Danemozy?» I then say. «I will never remember this!» I add jokingly, thinking that this is too much of an odd name for me to recall once awaken. I keep walking but I notice that he stays there. It seems like it’s a goodbye. I come back and joyfully say: «No! I will remember this!» and that being said, I realize that I lost contact. Even tough my eyes are still closed, I know that I am back in my body and that I could not return, whether I keep my eyes closed or not. So I open them. It is around 5:30am and as I write this down in my dream journal, I am reminded of how great this whole experience was, and this very memory kept me smiling all day!

[Sinera]

After some time spent quietly in bed, I start feeling an odd sensation. I lack the vocabulary to describe this but I’ll give it a try: it feels as if the chest area is «opening» or «splitting» (?). I take a deep breath and I feel it «opening» more. I then wait for something else to happen, perhaps some kind of movement that would bring me out without any effort on my part (!). But this time, nothing more happens.
Do you do energy work, esp. with primary chakras? It's possible that they make themselves now "known" to you on their own once in a while when in trance states. Chest area is the body central chakra (4th) out of the 7 main chakras.

[Korpo]

Hello, poeme.

You could actually include one daring question next time you happen to be in similar circumstances: Why do I see you as naked? ;)

Very interesting and detailed experience. 8)

Cheers,
Oliver

[poème]

Do you do energy work, esp. with primary chakras? It's possible that they make themselves now "known" to you on their own once in a while when in trance states. Chest area is the body central chakra (4th) out of the 7 main chakras.

I do work with the main chakras in meditations, mainly to raise energy... The energy body never ceases to amaze me!



You could actually include one daring question next time you happen to be in similar circumstances: Why do I see you as naked? ;)


This one made me laugh when I read it! :lol:
You know, the thought that it could have been my very own translation of his energy didn't even cross my mind! I was so sure that this was the way he decided to show up for some teaching purpose, especially since it does remind me of one of my guide's teaching style...Plus the personality seemed to match! However, that would explain why all the others didn't react: it's possible that they simply didn't see him like I did... Now what does this tell about myself though! :lol:

When I think of all that time I spent wondering what was the deeper meaning to this, I find it very funny to think that maybe there was no such deeper meaning!
...Well anyway, all that pondering did make me understand something, weither this was the purpose or not, so it's all good :lol:

[Korpo]

Hello, poeme.

To give you an extreme example: Someone described an experience where he had encountered a female porn star who taught him something. Beekeeper's translation? This is a guide who will "show you all." Interpretations can be like that.

Or an example Kurt posted recently:


“Appearances in Otherwhere are almost always deceiving,� my Guide said. “Let’s start with my own appearance, for example. How do you see me?�

“You look like Jorge Luis Borges,� I replied.(from: http://www.kurtleland.com/astral-projection-log/2007/188-the-human-culture-zone-causal-body-lower-mental-plane)

I have seen other instances in Kurt's adventures where people asked "What do I look like to you?" - including his tour of the Christian afterdeath zone in "Otherwhere."

Or this one:


“But tell me, how do you see me? That will give me the best idea of how to respond. How you’ve represented my energy to yourself will let me know which tradition you come from and how I should behave.�

I described the Gatekeeper’s sky-like surroundings, the garden, the Craftsman bungalow, and his own old-soul California looks. Several times he slapped his knee in delight.(from: http://www.kurtleland.com/astral-projection-log/2003/94-tour-of-the-akashic-records-upper-mental-plane-causal-body)

Cheers,
Oliver

[poème]

To give you an extreme example: Someone described an experience where he had encountered a female porn star who taught him something. Beekeeper's translation? This is a guide who will "show you all." Interpretations can be like that.
It does make sense! I realize I was really stuck on my first idea and your intervention really opened my eyes on more possibilities!

It's very likely that I pictured him this way because of how I felt he was at the moment : someone daring, unconventional (we were in a very formal office setting after all) who definitly had nothing to hide.

This also had me wondering about what I thought was a «change of guide». I'm now thinking it's possible that I was with the same one all the way, and that the change of appearance and personality occured because I noticed a change in his energy, or his attitude toward me (which I may have mistaken for a change of personality. This would mean that at some point, I felt he opened up more and was becoming more protective (therefore appearing like a warm, tall and heavy-set man) as we were on our way down (I remember lots of stairs as we were touring around.)

When I think of it, this «other» guide didn't give me his name, while the «first» one did... And the «switch» was too sudden. I didn't really notice when exactly it occured. I actually felt like talking and walking along with one person all the way down, and only at some point did I suddenly notice the change of appearance and attitude (which I apparently translated as a different person). Of course, this doesn't prove anything, but it makes some sense to me at the moment...

By the way, thank you so much for these links... There was so much food for thought for me in these that I kept drifting away from the text, thinking and thinking, to the point that it took me forever to read both of them :lol:

This part made me think of something linked to the topic:
«In many adventures in Otherwhere, I’ve encountered beings with amazing powers of mind control over others. The Gatekeeper not only teased me about looking like Rudhyar, but also suppressed my most recent memory of what Rudhyar looked like, so that I would think back to an earlier one I’d forgotten.»

If I understand well, this means that it's possible that my guide also controled, in some way, how I would end up translating his energy at the beginning, perhaps for some teaching purpose... Then again, perhaps not... I guess I will have to follow your advice - and ask that daring question - if this happens again! :wink:

[Korpo]

Hello, poeme.

Now that so many new ideas and questions fizz around in your mind, you might find that some of your inner senses become active or trained for learning the information you want.

Like learning who that guide is and who the other was? Are they the same? This curiosity might prime the process that teaches you how to sense the ident of a being. The ident goes beyond appearances and is for example what Kurt helps to identify Athena even if she comes in another guise. There's often a reason for her appearance having to do with the purpose of an adventure and the learning involved. Inner sense information can come as what you see, what you hear, what you feel and what you know when out-of-body. You learn about everything through your senses, but the inner senses function according to their own rules and the way they render a reality you perceive is different from the way we perceive physical reality.

Mind control is a term denoting a phenomenon with many nuances. If a guide helps you stabilise your consciousness to experience something more clearly or without distraction, that would be mind control. If a certain knowledge or memory is suppressed for the sake of lesson or a simulation, that's also another form of mind control.

The term itself however conjures up images of control to an extent that a guide would never violate. Free will is a complex phenomenon, too, come to think about it. Your various conscious, semi-conscious and unconscious intents and wishes are also expressions of your free will, and are often honored in ways that are not immediately apparent. For example, when a capability you have is suppressed in a simulation it might seem like a violation of your free will, but on the other hand the simulation usually does not appear without some pre-existing intent to learn or achieve something that requires the lesson.

Some experiences are not possible or possible yet without mind control. I had experiences where I was enabled by another conscious entity to even enter the state I was in. I wasn't even consciously aware of the facilitating entity, but there can be quite complex setups to enable some lessons. Sometimes mind control and sharing a mind connection are represented as touch, holding hands, holding someone's hip, standing together on moving platform. It's also always interesting who is with you in or on any vehicle (car, helicopter, bike, etc) and who's actually doing the steering. This portrays relationships between who's helping in the experience or might even play a major role in sustaining it.

So, your lack of recognition might be due to your ability of sensing idents just coming online. The stable picture you get now then would be like "seeing the world with new eyes" - your inner senses now present to you different inputs, and they get rewoven into a new coherent fabric that might seem sometimes quite different than the one you used to perceive.

Mind control is somewhat less likely in this instance, though the recognition of someone has been reported to be suppressed, too. For example Monroe did not recognise his past and future selves in "Far Journeys." This knowledge was suppressed, I'd say. For him his future self was a bright and highly intelligent entity (INSPEC) beyond his comprehension, and his past self a visitor (either AA or BB, I don't recall) to this reality system. Later on, after developing his inner senses and in effect becoming his future self, all these strands of his personal narrative came together and made for a different "big picture" regarding his life and spiritual evolution, which you can read about in "Ultimate Journey."

Cheers,
Oliver

[poème]

Hello!

Now that so many new ideas and questions fizz around in your mind, you might find that some of your inner senses become active or trained for learning the information you want.
Good news! I sure hope so! :D


Like learning who that guide is and who the other was? Are they the same? This curiosity might prime the process that teaches you how to sense the ident of a being. The ident goes beyond appearances and is for example what Kurt helps to identify Athena even if she comes in another guise. There's often a reason for her appearance having to do with the purpose of an adventure and the learning involved. Inner sense information can come as what you see, what you hear, what you feel and what you know when out-of-body. You learn about everything through your senses, but the inner senses function according to their own rules and the way they render a reality you perceive is different from the way we perceive physical reality.

I feel this to be true. I may be indeed in the process of learning how to identify better who I encounter and I also feel it as true that some of these senses only recently came online. I think I now know how to distinguish who I can trust from who I can't, who is familiar from who isn't, how to distinguish a being (spirits or guides for instance) showing up in a dream from a self created dream character, and I seem to be able to distinguish general roles, such as teacher, guardian, visitor, etc. However, I am still very confused when it comes to distinguish, lets say, one guide from another one, or to recognize the same one everytime he or she shows up, whatever is the guise. But I think this is coming... Since lately, I think I started recognizing a pattern for at least one of them!

This makes me think, when it comes to inner senses, that what I feel seems to be more developped and reliable than what I see (I probably need to improve this sense better). For instance, in a dream I will feel/think that «this is my bedroom» but I will see completely something else; sometimes it doesn't even look like a bedroom, to the point that if it wasn't from that insight, I would have never been able to tell, by the visuals alone, that this was supposed to be a bedroom. As for what I hear, I seem to forget half of it, so this probably needs improvement also... Unless I can't recall this on purpose, as if some censor is still needed sometimes. In this case, I suppose it might mean that my counscious mind would not be ready to handle such knowledge or that this knowledge was offered to some other aspect of myself, and not to the counscious mind... I am aware that I am entering a field of speculations here, though! :lol:

Thanks for all the examples given, from your experience as well as from others... This is all very enlightening and I think I will take some time to revisit parts of my dream journals... Surely, I will be able to deepen my analysis of many dreams by taking all that you said into account.

[poème]

On April 20, I dreamed of a lady who had a short discussion with me. For once, I remembered a good part of the content, although I know I didn’t remember the exact words. This talk we had made me realize that I was in the habit of closing my eyes on too many things about myself and my experiences, as if I did not really want to see what was going on.

Before I had this dream, I had indeed a series of dreams which felt so bizarre to me that I did not dare trying to interpret them thoroughly up till now. Maybe these won’t seem strange at all to many of you, since a lot of people here have gone through quite unusual experiences, but to me, they kind of were, mind you. :-) So, I am writing this down, in an effort to look honestly at myself and to understand what has been going on lately. As usual, comments, hints and insights are welcome!

April 7, 2011 (meditation)
I am lying on my back in my bed, meditating. One of my cats, who had been sleeping quietly on me for some time (so lovely of her: it always makes me smile when she does that J), suddenly jumps away, and this is when I notice something unusual : a strong «fresh/cold feel» seems to cover all my lower abdomen. (It’s likely that my cat went away because it turned too cold.) I wonder what this is, but I don’t worry right away since I often feel «fresh-cold» spots, usually on my forehead, on the right side of my face and body, which was also the case that day. However, I never felt it that intensely, especially not in that area. I start thinking that this may be «kundalini related» and this reminds me of all the stories I read about the topic, and for some reasons, I focus especially on the downside of some of these stories: complete break down, anxiety and panic attacks, phobic episodes and all the years of struggles and pain accompanying this, etc.

So I say (in my mind) to whoever is possibly accompanying me that I never asked for that to happen and that I don’t want to break down now that I’m so stable and happy, that I’d rather be a late bloomer… And I go on and on like that until I suddenly sense a pleasant and familiar scent, which I smell occasionally. I then start breathing in and out more deeply, since I can sense the scent better this way, and as a result, it calms me down. I realize I was kind of freaking out and that surely, there was nothing to fear. I recall how I’ve been shown, more than once, how well my guides (and/or higher self, and/or self aspects) know how to work with me, how they always respected my will, and how incredibly patient and understanding they are. Besides, I have no proof that this is kundalini related…

So I gather my courage and, resume my session, in an effort to confront my fears (and perhaps to prove my trust also). I try to observe the sensations felt rather than jumping to conclusions. I notice that there is something going on in my belly, up to the solar plexus, like involuntary internal movements and something fresh/cold inside «pushing up» too. I’m not really sure I enjoy this much and I remain kind of tensed until I finally get waves, which are more familiar and which I enjoy a lot…

Nothing else happened. Maybe it wasn’t kundalini, after all, I then thought… So this was enough to chase that cloud away for a few days, especially since I was actually on quite a high back then, still so happy about my last outing (on April 6), which is why I was surprised to have a nightmarish dream on April 10, apparently featuring those side-effects I feared so much, fears which I had only buried, and not yet resolved… I won’t go into details and simply say that I felt lost, highly vulnerable, anxious and even quite phobic.

When I woke up, I thought that was quite weird. It was as if my dream self had been completely acting as someone else, not I… I wondered if that was some kind of release dream…or perhaps some kind of warning, and that I’d better get prepared(!) I asked to be told more about this for I really needed to know where this was going and what all this was about… And so, on April 13, I had a very intriguing series of dreams:

April 13, 2011, 2nd dream (morning)
A cobra in a cardboard box
I am in the backseat of a car. Sitting next to me is one of my brothers, and my mother is driving. This may seem odd, but my mother is just not herself and so is my brother. This is not that unusual in my dreams. Of course, many of my dreams are about my relationships with my family members and friends but sometimes, I seem to translate energies that feel «motherly» or «brotherly» or «friendly» by picturing them as persons I know in the waking state, whom I feel as such.
So, all three of us are in a car, and we are having a nice chat about…snakes! (Quite the everyday talk, indeed :lol:). Then, my «mother» stops the car and says she has some shopping to do. She comes back a couple minutes later, and says happily that she has a present for both of us. She gives an open cardboard box to my «brother» and to my surprise (and disgust), there is a cobra inside(!) It is kind of pale, perhaps yellowish, and its large head is raised toward the opening of the box. I tell my «brother» I never liked snakes and beg him to keep that thing as far as possible from me! The snake is not really threatening, and it doesn’t move much but I am somewhat panicking at the thought of being bitten, and I seem to think that this was definitely not my «mother’s» best idea for a gift! (Actually, I think that my dream self was quite brave here, for if this were to happen in the physical, surely I would jump out of the car…or at least, I would close that box rather quickly! :lol:)

I wake up and start thinking about that. I come to the conclusion that perhaps this dream was meant to tell me that I have to let go of my fears. That snake wasn’t threatening at all after all. It definitely wasn’t going to bite. I keep wondering, though, if there was more to it than that. I fall asleep again, at around 8- 8:30 in the morning, and things take an unexpected turn (and a quite confusing one as well…)

(More to come…:-))

[Sinera]

That snake wasn’t threatening at all after all.
That's the decisive point. Maybe it meant sth very different symbolically than (confronting you with your) fear. Maybe even positive! You know the ancient serpent religions? Snakes were regarded and revered as bearers of wisdom. Maybe you opened a cardbox of wisdom and knowledge. Maybe it shows your process of learning ... maybe mainly even about yourself (... your SELF :wink: ). Also, the fact that your mother gave you the box, shows that you could have trusted it.

About snakes:
"As a positive symbol, snakes represent healing, transformation, knowledge and wisdom. It is indicative of self-renewal and positive change." http://dreammoods.com/cgibin/dreamdicti ... arch=snake (http://dreammoods.com/cgibin/dreamdictionarysearch.pl?method=exact&header=dreamsymbol&search=snake)

About the cobra:
"To see a cobra in your dream, represents creation and creative energies. Some situation or relationship has you hypnotized." http://dreammoods.com/cgibin/dreamdicti ... arch=cobra (http://dreammoods.com/cgibin/dreamdictionarysearch.pl?method=exact&header=dreamsymbol&search=cobra)

About the box:
"To dream that you are opening a box, indicates an aspect of yourself that was once hidden is now being revealed. It symbolizes self discovery. Consider your feelings as you open the box. If opening the box fills you will fear, you may be uncovering aspects of yourself that cause you to feel anxious." http://dreammoods.com/cgibin/dreamdicti ... search=box (http://dreammoods.com/cgibin/dreamdictionarysearch.pl?method=exact&header=dreamsymbol&search=box)

To summarise and synthesise the symbols: Maybe you were indeed 'hypnotised' and a bit 'anxious' by your self-discovery and thus getting new knowledge/wisdom or creative energies about yourSELF, which is in a process of "self-renewal and positive change".

[poème]

To summarise and synthesise the symbols: Maybe you were indeed 'hypnotised' and a bit 'anxious' by your self-discovery and thus getting new knowledge/wisdom or creative energies about yourSELF, which is in a process of "self-renewal and positive change".
Thanks for the insights, and I like this interpretation!


About the box:
"To dream that you are opening a box, indicates an aspect of yourself that was once hidden is now being revealed. It symbolizes self discovery. Consider your feelings as you open the box. If opening the box fills you will fear, you may be uncovering aspects of yourself that cause you to feel anxious."
You know, for some reason, I did not even consider the symbolism of the box, but this is extremely revealing!
And since the box was already opened, it may then refer to aspects of myself that were recently revealed, but then I guess I started looking away, closing my eyes on them, since I was not yet ready to acknowledge them...perhaps... It actually goes hand in hand with what the lady in my dream on April 20 told me. I have to open my eyes on somes aspects of myself... And quit playing hide and seek! :lol:

[poème]

April 13, 2011, 3rd dream (morning)
The small chapiteau
I am in a small chapiteau, or circus tent, but this dream isn’t about a circus, not either about a show. The tent was apparently mounted on a body of water in a private, isolated area, and there is also water at our feet, a little less than one foot deep. It feels intimate, and yet I recall I was with a small group of people. I chat a little with someone (so very chatty indeed :-)) whom I seem to know and trust. Something is going to happen soon… And now I have to wait.

I sit down (yes, in the water) next to a man around my age, very close to him, so close that our bodies are touching, and even though I don’t look at him much, I know he feels familiar, familiar enough to tease me (kindly), which he actually did… We have no clothes on, although I think the others are dressed, but we don’t really think about this. It seems natural, normal, and I feel the same as if I were wearing clothes: neither shame nor pride. I recall faintly others next to us, also sitting in the water, and like us, facing the tent’s opening, waiting for something to happen… We don’t chat much actually, we just wait, and I seem to be longing for this, thinking (impatiently) that it takes so long!

I woke up and wondered what this was about and how this dream was linked to the other one (cobra in a box). Were they even linked? What were we waiting for? What was supposed to happen? Was it referring to some kind of kundalini event (I was stuck on that idea because of the cobra, which I immediately associated with it) or was it completely something else? What about the water? And above all, who was this man? Was he the «brotherly» energy whom I pictured as my «brother» in the first dream? He was sitting on my right, and it is on my right that I mostly feel, in the waking state, the «fresh/cold breeze» I talked about in my earlier post. Should I dare to link this to the dream? I then asked to be told more about this, to be given at least some clues, and on all these unanswered questions, I fell asleep again:

April 13, 2011, 4th dream (morning)
The clairvoyant lady
I am with a kind, very patient and knowledgeable lady. I seem to think that she is a clairvoyant. This is actually revealing of her role in the dream, for she came to reveal information about myself and what is going to happen. (I don’t recall everything very clearly however, and I am starting to think that these conversations I forget are deliberately filtered since my conscious self is not ready to learn about these topics just yet… Perhaps it is meant to help me coping better with what’s revealed over time, little by little. Or maybe it is meant to make me think about it and stimulate my curiosity enough so that I start looking for the full answers…)

So I don’t recall much, but I do, however, remember glimpses of it, and the feeling of it. She answers my questions and says very seriously that this is going to happen and that too, etc. She says something like «It’s almost impossible to understand this well before it actually happens. I reply, with some sense of humour, that this is really bad, since I’m really hoping to understand what’s going on before anything happens… She tries to explain something to me, but I don’t understand (or can’t hear clearly) what she is saying and twice I tell her that. She seems to have trouble speaking clearly at this point, and she decides to take a sheet of paper and write it down instead…

I woke up before having the chance to read anything, more puzzled than ever, but I just can’t resist puzzles, and as a result, it arose my curiosity and my drive to know and to understand what this was all about… I started reading a little more about Kundalini, simply because it seemed like a possibility. But I also tried to open up to all kinds of possibilities. To be very honest, even now, I am still not entirely sure if it has anything to do with it…Perhaps so, perhaps not. I no longer mind. I just want things to unfold as they should, or rather as they may, and I am confident that everything will be alright, that these changes, in the end, will be very positive for me, for my Self.

On April 15, I had another dream in which I was waiting, even longing, but this time it was not for something to happen, rather for someone to show up:

April 15, 2011
Waiting again…
I am exploring a long cave cut in the rock. I explore it all and even go back on my feet once, to see the light again, but shortly after, I return to the cave, before it gets too dark for me to walk in there safely. I have to meet someone there, at the very bottom of the cave (strange place for a meet-up, indeed!). Who? I am not sure. A man whom I trust, like a lover, for it feels intimate somehow, and yet not quite like it… Maybe again, he is this «brotherly» energy from the cobra dream and also this man who was sitting on my right under the chapiteau…

And so, time passes by and I keep waiting. He’s taking so long! Other men come and start discussing nearby (maybe the bottom of that cave was a popular areaJ). Their presence annoys me slightly, but soon enough they are gone. I am still waiting. «I know he will come» I keep telling myself…

…And maybe he did, but I will never know, since before he arrived, I started losing the hold of the dream and then I was gone, back in my body, eyes closed. I woke up, very puzzled again.

A side note about a past dream also featuring a clairvoyant lady
I am adding this past dream to this series since I think it may shed some light on the topic, especially on the next part I’m going to post later this week. Even though I can’t exactly be sure of anything just yet, I feel that this dream may be for me a key to understand what has been going on, and what may still be going on…

October 22, 2010
Another session with a clairvoyant lady
It is a kind of informal reading, and I am the sitter. I ask her to tell me who is around me. I can feel very well this energy I started feeling not that long ago in the waking state: a «fresh/cold « breeze on my right side. (Back then, I was convinced it was my guide’s energy, and I was convinced of it in the dream too, so it seems.) As for what the clairvoyant revealed, I remember these words very clearly: «A true companion…», «You can become as one…» and «One shared envelope» or «A same envelope» («une même enveloppe» in French; not sure if I translated this properly).

I then ask her if the energy I feel on my right side is this «true companion’s» energy and she says yes. I am so pleased by the answer, and then, I ask her if she can tell me more about him… Only if he wants to, that is. :redface: Then for some reason, I start looking at papers I brought, notes I took before the session. I lose track of the questions I so wanted to ask, and before I receive any answer from the clairvoyant, I wake up...

Here I have to say that in the waking state, prior to this dream (about 4 months before), I did meet a clairvoyant lady once. I think I wanted confirmation that really I was accompanied (I believe that we all are) and that it was not my imagination running wild. She did tell me about a guiding energy she could see on my left (not on my right though) that was supportive and accompanying. So it’s possible that this dream I had months later simply has its roots in that reading. However, for some reason, I feel that this dream may have more to tell…

(More to come… :-))

[eyeoneblack]

Hi, poème :)

I am grateful that I had some time to read some of your entries. Thoughtful and intelligent if I may say so. I am impressed that you must be a true student and that alone IMO is the key to unlocking the Kundalini. It takes a persistent inquisition into the nature of things to fuel the 'beast'. It is a matter of mind married to instinct. I didn't intent to write this, but it just...

I am looking forward to anything you have to offer.

BTW, about the cobra in the box? I have a little different take on that perhaps. Things that come in boxes, like french fries and hamburgers and little presents tied up with bows, seldom are the real deal. That it came from your Mother (if I remeber correctly) and the cobra was less than 'vital' to me indicates a false prophecy; i.e. a dead end.

You're waiting which might be another word for discerning.

Can't wait for the next installment :mrgreen: :wink:

[poème]

Thank you so much for your reply and all your kind words! :)


BTW, about the cobra in the box? I have a little different take on that perhaps. Things that come in boxes, like french fries and hamburgers and little presents tied up with bows, seldom are the real deal. That it came from your Mother (if I remeber correctly) and the cobra was less than 'vital' to me indicates a false prophecy; i.e. a dead end.
It's very possible that this dream was meant to tell me that it was just not the real thing yet (after all it was obvious to me that the snake wasn't going to bite or anything) and therefore, that I need not to worry about it...Perhaps. What I am sure of, is that the fear I felt in that dream was a little out of proportion...considering the lack of danger :lol:


It is a matter of mind married to instinct. I didn't intent to write this, but it just...
Very funny you mention that... :wink:

[poème]

April 16, 2011 (1st dream)
A marriage proposal
I am chatting (again!) with a man and… All of a sudden, he asks me to marry him! Quite surprised by this, I hesitate a moment, but then I say that I thought about this (when, I wonder?) and that yes, I want to!

We then visit his apartment, where we will be living together later on. The color red is featured. Overall, it looks very modern, practical, masculine…and very at odds with my own personality. I seem to think that this decor will definitely need a feminine touch, and I even start looking at what I would like to change! (Feeling at home already, so it seems;))

There were delicious-looking desserts and chocolate for us to share but I don’t remember if we did share them or not. We then go to some office building, and the next thing I know, I am alone again, wondering if I made the right decision: after all, we barely know each others, and we are so different! (He’s the down-to-earth and intellectual type while I always thought I was more of a dreamer and rather the artistic type.) For a moment, I vaguely remember that I actually like someone else (which is the case in the physical), but as I start wondering who that is, I can’t recall neither his face nor his name, and shortly after, I completely forget about him (suppressed memory perhaps, for it sure could have ruined the storyline here ) I am still torn with doubts however. «Maybe I should tell him that I’m no longer so sure about this» I then think… but I am not sure if coming back on my decision is what I really want either…

I woke up at around 3am, and once again I was very clued… Especially since this man was not the one I am interested in, but rather someone else I know only a little, with whom I worked for two years or so. I used to get along well with him but not more than that… On top of that, as far as I know, he was already engaged back then (seems like I forgot that detail in the dream)!

Seriously wondering about the meaning of that dream, I write everything I recall in my notebook and fall asleep again at around 4am… Apparently, I was not done with that story!

April 16, 2011 (2nd dream)
The runaway fiancée
I remember that someone did ask me to marry him previously, but oddly enough, this time, that someone is…someone else! Again, it is someone I actually know in the waking state, but not that well, and with whom I do get along well, although there is nothing more…

So, in the dream, I go to great lengths to avoid him as much as possible since I am still so confused and not sure what to think. Then I meet with my «mother» and we talk about this. I tell her my doubts… And that we never even kissed; perhaps it is too much of a hurry! (:lol:) She tells me happily that it was the right decision, and reassures me, and as she does so, I start feeling very sorry about my attitude, for, as I tell her, I keep avoiding him since he asked my hand… «He must think I’m an odd one» I say to her. And again, she reassures me, out of real compassion.

I recall very vaguely meeting his family members, and just like my mother, they all seem very happy and positive about this marriage. Then I meet with my mother again. She apparently took care of my luggage (since I will have to move with him), and this, to me, means that there is no going back now, as if it is too late and things are already on their way (it did seem logical in the dream.) I am slowly starting to accept the idea of getting married, and at some point, I even start thinking that he’s going to take good care of me and that surely, we’ll make a great pair…

I woke up at around 7am, very clued again… At this point, some of you may have guessed what these dreams were about, just like Eyeoneblack already did… But it still took me a while to figure them out myself. I was not yet ready to see…

At a spiritual level
I could see however the marriage implied a union, and thought it was definitely one of a spiritual kind (involving the Spirit), since I was pretty sure it had nothing to do with my love life in the physical. The main reason why I was sure of this is that I pictured this man I was going to marry as a different person in the second dream, although I knew he was the same and I knew this dream was very obviously linked to the first one. This led me to believe that my first choice of dream character to picture this man apparently got lost in the translation process on purpose in the second dream, so that I can clearly see that it had nothing to do with the men pictured in both dreams…

Another intriguing detail convinced me that these dreams had nothing to do with my love life in the physical, and nothing to do with these men: in the second dream, I thought the man who proposed to me was 30 and that I was 28, but in the waking state, I was the one about to turn 30, and this (young) man is actually in his early twenties (!) so these numbers had nothing to do with our physical age.

Inner marriage
Once sure of this, I was able to focus instead on what these men had in common… And the answer came easily: they both were the down-to-earth and intellectual type… I pondered over this a few days before I was told in a dream that «the change was inside of me, and not outside…» When I woke up, I wondered why I was told so, since I thought I already knew that! But then I looked at my thoughts again, and I was forced to see that I was still thinking of all this as some kind of exterior events (marriage, moving away) in my soul’s life, and I was still seeing the «man who proposed» as an external energy, while it could as well be an inner aspect, a part of my Self; in other words the intellect, the masculine, quite possibly an inner male aspect… And this was an inner marriage!

That being said, I am very tempted to think that the ages mentioned in the second dream were actually referring to the level of maturity of both the male aspect (30) and the female aspect (28). It could also indicate the balance achieved between the male aspect (slightly dominant) and the female aspect (almost equal). Maybe once the perfect balance is achieved, once the female aspect becomes mature (freed, purified from negative emotions) then the marriage will occur: a union of the masculine and the feminine, of reason (the intellect) and emotion (the heart),of the counscious and the uncounscious working hand in hand (and not against each others), becoming as one…

I will end this post on another intriguing detail… On April 6, as I was touring the office building with a guide, I asked him what this building was for and what all these people were working on… He did answer me, but the word I thought I heard back then made no sense to me at all… But it does now, since that word was…«marriage»!

(Conclusions and a more in-depth analysis of the entire series to be posted some time soon…:-))

[Sinera]

Fascinating dream series. I only had once such a series in one night (it's the band rehearsals dream I posted here recently). Wish I had more of this kind, too.
Your interpretations are, of course, very cogent already. I wonder could the men (the different marriage candidates) also be your guides 'acting' as these characters, in order to help you and show you the things exactly as you saw/see them? Any clues on this?

[poème]

I only had once such a series in one night (it's the band rehearsals dream I posted here recently). Wish I had more of this kind, too.
Oh yes, this sure was an amazing series. I hope you don't mind me posting the link, just in case someone who happens to wander here would be curious about it :
viewtopic.php?f=19&t=22383&st=0&sk=t&sd=a&start=30#p144350 (http://forums.astraldynamics.com/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=22383&st=0&sk=t&sd=a&start=30#p144350)

Besides, your lucidiary is quite interesting as well, especially your latest outings... I'm still waiting for the next episode by the way! :wink:



Your interpretations are, of course, very cogent already. I wonder could the men (the different marriage candidates) also be your guides 'acting' as these characters, in order to help you and show you the things exactly as you saw/see them? Any clues on this?
Thank you! I feel that this interpretation was only the tip of the iceberg however...I think sorting out all the new information I gathered and received lately will keep me busy for some time! But I really enjoy the process of discovering more and more, so it's all good!

As for your question, I didn't think of this before... In this series, «my mother» was quite possibly a guide. She had the looks of my mother in this life, although she did not feel like her at all, and I guess we could view it as «acting» the role of my mother, since a mother figure was needed in that storyline. However, she also felt like a mother figure to me, caring and nurturing, so I believe she was actually playing her own «role» towards me and since I felt her as such, I may have translated her energy as the first mother figure that came to my mind, and that is my mother in this life.

That being said, I am pretty sure that guides can «act» as characters in our dreams to make us understand something. I can recall one dream where this was very obvious. To make the story short, I had asked to be helped to sort out my real feelings for someone, and that night, a man came to me and started showing he was very interested in me, and without losing much time, asked me out. I politely turned him down and told him why, and that was because of that «someone». Not disappointed at all, the man asked me questions which literally made me say what I really felt towards that person, and then he turned his head towards a lady who had been watching both of us all along, and joked about how I rejected him «like the sea rejects (dont-remember-what) on the shore» (Pretty poetic indeed :lol: ) I thought his reaction was kind of odd and that he sure was taking this well! :lol:
My guess would be that both the lady and the man were guides. The man was obviously acting a role that is not his, and the lady watching felt familiar. I believe she and the one «acting» as «my mother» in this series could be the same person (guide or self aspect or...).

As for the marriage candidates, I don't really know if that was an act or not, but at the moment, I am more likely to think that inner self aspects feel just as real and distinct as a guide feel, perhaps even as the higher self (which is a part of the Self) may feel, therefore I would say that the self aspects may easily «play» their own role and that there is no need for a guide to act as them.

This is not that directly related to your question, but I'm adding the following sidenote mainly to clarify my own understanding...
So I guess we could picture it this way : at a larger scale, we are all one, you and I are parts (or aspects) of one body (or being or..what we call the Source) much greater than us. At some level, we are one - and everyone - since we all are this greater being... And yet, at some other level, it is also true that you and I are distinct, very different, with a different role and different views, with what seems to be a very genuine identity of our own... This is also how I see my Self and all my self aspects, at a smaller scale. And this is why I feel that self aspects may be just as real and distinct as you and I feel real and distinct... As above so below, they say... :wink:

[Sinera]

... I guess we could picture it this way : at a larger scale, we are all one, you and I are parts (or aspects) of one body (or being or..what we call the Source) much greater than us. At some level, we are one - and everyone - since we all are this greater being... And yet, at some other level, it is also true that you and I are distinct, very different, with a different role and different views, with what seems to be a very genuine identity of our own... This is also how I see my Self and all my self aspects, at a smaller scale. And this is why I feel that self aspects may be just as real and distinct as you and I feel real and distinct... As above so below, they say... :wink:
nicely put, :) , yes, maybe we should stop worrying if we interact with ourSELF or another Self (as guide) too much, as long as it is a helpful entity, and that is what's most important.
(btw: I was referring to this one-night-same-dream-series instead, not the one you linked: viewtopic.php?f=19&t=23360#p144624 (http://forums.astraldynamics.com/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=23360#p144624) :wink: )

[poème]

I'm really hoping to be able to distinguish a guide from a self (or Self) aspect one day, but at the moment, I am aware that I can't really tell for sure all the time, so...
That being said, I think it's a good thing to give it some thoughts...I keep in mind however that some answers come only when it's time. I may not be there just yet :)



(btw: I was referring to this one-night-same-dream-series instead, not the one you linked: viewtopic.php?f=19&t=23360#p144624 (http://forums.astraldynamics.com/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=23360#p144624) :wink: )
Oups, really sorry... :oops:
For some reason, this series was the first I thought of... It shows I liked it a lot I guess :lol:

[poème]

186
(http://www.alchemywebsite.com/images/amcl14.jpg)
http://forums.astraldynamics.com/viewtopic.php?f=23&t=23183&start=90#p146750
This image posted on this other AD thread really haunted me since I saw it… It reminded me so much of my dream «The small chapiteau» (see Part II)… Of course, it was not exactly like it, for we were not holding each others like in the picture and his skin tone was not red, but in my dream, just like in the picture, both the man and I were together in water, very closed to each others, with no clothes on. In my dream, the man was also sitting on my right, just like in the picture. And there was this same feeling of intimacy, of being in our very own private space (rendered by the little circus tent in my dream.) Somehow I felt something very alike when I looked at the couple from the picture.

I wondered what it meant and if it could help me figure out my latest series of strange dreams. So I went on the Web site the picture was from: http://www.alchemywebsite.com/index.html Once there however, I felt like a foreigner in some strange country whose language was also barely known to me, and as a result kind of got lost, not too sure what to look for and where… I have to admit that I rested my case a little too quickly, for surely, I would have found something if I had stayed a little longer. It’s a good Website… But now was not the time, I suppose…;)
At least, I knew it was alchemy… Although I only had a vague idea of what alchemy really was.

Different languages…One shared ground
It is only when I finally realized that this series of dreams was tied to an inner marriage that my search finally gave results… I simply googled «inner marriage» and first found this article (http://ryuc.info/creative-spirit/marriage_inner_m_f.htm) which also describes this union talked about in alchemy but in a language that was easier for me to understand at the time, since it was not one of symbols and metaphors kind of obscure to me.

And later, I was to find this other Web site which summarizes well the alchemical path of transformation of the Self (and is still easier to understand than ancient traditional texts): http://www.soul-guidance.com/houseofthesun/alchemyintro.htm#Contents

I was also reminded of a series of articles I had read before on River of enlightenment forums, describing 7 stages of a transformation process: I Calcination, II Dissolution, III Separation, IV Conjunction, V Fermentation, VI Distillation and VII Coagulation. It was also alchemy, and it was referring to the same path of transformation, although again, it was a slightly different language, with some different terms: http://forums.riverofenlightenment.com/index.php?PHPSESSID=cda58c272d6b353319f550a48bba6e 5b&topic=4391.msg12802;topicseen#new

Dream interpretation – The alchemical perspective
This passage will be a short and humble attempt at interpreting the series from the alchemical perspective. Since alchemy is fairly new to me, I am aware that some of my interpretations may be off. If so, and if you know better, don’t hesitate to tell!

If I understand well, the first stages of the path are focused on unveiling and healing the feminine by exploring the realms within of the unconscious and the heart – emotions). First, a part of the negative ego is stripped from the soul, therefore unveils the feminine, but also makes it vulnerable for negative ego (unnecessary barriers between the world and the soul), maladapted defence mechanisms) no longer stand for her protection, and so for a time, she may feel «naked», vulnerable and defenceless. This is exactly how I felt in the nightmare I had on April 10 (Part I). I was sitting in the corner of a room, with no clothes on, feeling exposed, so vulnerable, and I feared so much that someone would come to harm me. I believe this dream was possibly a reminded of a darker period I went through earlier in my life. I worked so hard on these issues over the years; I believe it’s under control now, maybe not under perfect control, but still I see a big improvement… :)

As negative emotions are exposed in the process, one then has to free the feminine from their constraints so that she may expresses her positive side freely, unfettered. This is an inward journey, and going into caves, just like I did on April 15 (see Waiting again…Part II) may be a way to picture this process in dreams:
«Mining or going inside the earth is the first step in the alchemical process. The earth is the body or oneself. Going inside the earth is equal to going into your inner self.»
(http://www.soul-guidance.com/houseofthesun/alchemy 1.htm (http://www.soul-guidance.com/houseofthesun/alchemy%201.htm))
On its inward journey, the alchemist shall meet a dragon (inner dragon: negative emotions) that shall be defeated. I did not however meet a dragon in the cave I explored. If I recall well, it was kind of well kept for a cave…Perhaps this stage was mostly done earlier as well, though I possibly needed to go back to clear away a couple things again so that I could meet with this person I was waiting for in there. I suppose this task is never entirely done…

The next phase is less clear to me, but it is said to be one of separation and isolation before a «coming back together». That being said, I do recall a past series of dreams featuring a strange feeling of being «abandoned» or being «mourning». I even wrote in my journal that even in the waking state, I felt like I had a hole in the heart, but couldn’t figure out where that was coming from. Back then, I thought that one of my guides left and that possibly I felt it to some degree. Then, I had this beautiful dream:

August 2010
The white one
It’s winter and it’s snowing lightly. I am keeping a beautiful white animal on a leash. I think it is a deer at first, a wild animal that should be let loosed, but I just don’t want to let it go yet… Then it turns into a beautiful dog, with a perfectly white coat. I seem to share a very close bound with this dog and love it very dearly. I know I have to let it go however, and so, after some hesitation, I do so and it leaves.
In the next scene, I talk with my «mother» about someone who’s now far away, but I am happy, for I am holding a cell phone I was given recently. It is white as snow; and I say to my «mother» that with it, I can always reach this person, even though he/she is far away now…

I can’t be sure if it’s linked to this process or not but somehow I really feel that this white animal I had to let go was this «true companion» I was told about later on by the clairvoyant (see Part II) and is possibly also linked to this energy I feel on my right in the waking state as well as to this person I was waiting for in the cave…As if I was waiting for him to come back… These are wild speculations, I confess ;)

From an alchemical perspective, the joining together (or coming back together) of opposite Self aspects is called «Conjunctio». It « primarily takes place in water, in a spring or a fountain. The queen then represents the feminine, water, the unconscious.» (http://www.soul-guidance.com/houseofthesun/alchemy 1.htm (http://www.soul-guidance.com/houseofthesun/alchemy%201.htm))
I believe this is the stage pictured in the image I first talked about at the beginning of this (very long) post, and this is also where I seem to be in my journey… The marriage dreams (Part III) may also be referring to this stage, as a symbol of union, the inner marriage occurring at the end of the inner journey, which unites all opposite Selves into a whole, therefore «becoming as one.» However, it was a proposal, which to me means that it is (or was?) going to occur later on…

Kundalini
Since this series is about being honest with myself and looking at what really may be happening, despite of any fear I used to have and may still have, I took some time to think about this aspect also: was all this linked to Kundalini?

April 28, 2011
More snakes…
My «father» catches a big dark snake on the ground and holds it in his hands to show it to me. I don’t like this very much but my reaction is not out of proportion this time. I even take it myself, carefully holding his head since it is kind of aggressive and is really trying to bite. My «father», however, is assisting me, so I am not too afraid. I then put it back on the ground. It tries to bite my feet but misses, and finally it leaves. Shortly after, my father comes back with an open box, just like in the cobra dream (see Part I). He inclines it slightly over the floor and a very big green snake starts coming out of it. It is so long and thick that I am amazed that all this actually fitted in that box! My «father» then gives it to me so that I can hold this one as well. Oddly enough, I feel more comfortable with this one and I can feel that it is neither aggressive nor dangerous…

I can’t help but to think I was shown two different types of Kundalini snakes: one that was aggressive (and felt dangerous to me) and one that wasn’t. And it seems like someone (a «fatherly» energy) is actually assisting me in the process and preparing the ground. What’s really interesting also is that my opinion and my feelings about this do seem to count. I would even say that I seem to be told beforehand what is going to happen and that my permission to proceed is needed (marriage proposal)… Moreover, it seems like many persons who went through a Kundalini awakening also gave their permission in some form or another, and awakened because it was what they needed and wanted deep inside, therefore none of them were «victims» of some «evil force», even though the process can be a rough ride... This leads me to think that possibly, different approaches exist and are tested: a quick and powerful method may suit some better than a gradual and more gentle approach for instance...

Now, how is this marriage proposal linked to Kundalini? I’m getting there… :)

Awakening
So meanwhile, I had started reading parts of the online book «The Biology of Kundalini» that other members of the forum talked about and which can be found here: http://biologyofkundalini.com/ On the «Definitions» section, I found this interesting passage:
«Throughout this book the term kundalini awakening is used interchangeably with metamorphosis, spiritual alchemy, spiritual acceleration, the inner marriage, the sacred marriage, The Passion and even The Great Bliss.»
In other words, according to the author, the inner marriage is tied to a kundalini awakening. I do insist on awakening here, for there seems to be a difference between a kundalini awakening and a kundalini full raising.

This also reminds me of the very first time I thought of using the tarot to communicate with my guides. I first asked to whoever was present to tell me which card portrayed him/her the most, and I drew one card. Out of pure curiosity, I then asked about myself (couldn’t resist! J): which card portrayed me the most, my potential? And I drew one card that didn’t seem very flattering at first glance: 4 of Swords. (http://www.learntarot.com/s4.htm)
I asked my guide what he/she meant by that, and drew one other card: 2 of Swords.
(http://www.learntarot.com/s2.htm)
It actually took me some time (and a few other readings featuring this same card) to understand what it possibly meant... I had asked about my potential, and I had been simply told that it was latent at the time, but that it was preparing to eventually awaken… I was however putting barriers, as a mean to protect myself since I was not yet ready to awaken, and not yet ready to see the truth about myself (2 of swords) therefore I wasn’t told more. (Besides, a potential is all about possibilities and is not chiselled in stone… Perhaps it was simply not possible to tell me more back then…)

I can no longer close my eyes, however: I really seem to be going this way, slowly, carefully, one step at a time… Just like many others did before and just like many others will do in the future also, for we are all called to bloom one day, may it be in this life or in another, whatever is the path chosen, however long it may take… And I can’t help but to think again of this office building I visited on April 6 (See An eventful night), an entire building whose purpose, as I was told, was precisely this: «marriage». There was such a high energy in this office, and there was so many people working there; everyone seemed to have so much work, and yet it didn’t feel like it was a burden, more like a very positive time, although a very busy one… This makes me think that surely then, I am one case out of so many more… Like a wave of awakenings…
…Maybe are you also called to awaken soon ;)

[Korpo]

Hello, poeme.

I liked your interpretation of the snake dream. When you quoted that author, however, he used many terms as synonymous. So you can use the snake as a symbol for awakening in general, because in your attempt to make sense of your dreams you were led to a passage that links them through a series of synonymous terms.

It's as if the properties of the awakening are laid out to you. Like the intimacy in the bath. That there's no need to be afraid for what's in store (the box) for you. That you have some say in it for yourself.

Yes, I do think you're getting there, too. :)

Cheers,
Oliver

[poème]

Thank you for you encouraging word, and for your insights as well... It's always appreciated!
Seeing the snake as a symbol for an awakening in general makes a lot of sense... And I can't wait to see «what's in store» :D

[poème]

I had a very happy childhood and was a very balanced, self-confident, fanciful and creative little girl. At the threshold of teenage hood however, things completely turned upside down. I became overly sensitive, and would constantly feel hurt by others and by circumstances. As a result, I ended up shutting myself inward and became but a shadow of who I really was, and the joyful and self-confident little girl became a very shy teen with a low self-esteem.

I started coming out of my shell in my late teen years, thanks to a good friend I met back then through whose eyes I could see that I could become more than I thought I was. I still carried these issues with me into adulthood however, although they certainly were less of a burden than they were back in my teen years. I was aware I had sensitivity issues, and often I would think that it was some kind of curse. «If only I weren’t that sensitive» I would often think, «I wouldn’t feel so hurt by the slightest thing, and I wouldn’t fear so much to show who I really am and to do as I please…Surely, life would be much easier!»

Then one night, in my early twenties, I had this dream I would never forget:

I Death
I am shot right in the heart by someone who had been pursuing me in the first part of the dream. I feel something around the heart and maybe also in other parts of my body, like electrical impulses or waves, and I know I am dying. «So, this is how it feels to die» I tell myself, and I am surprised at how pleasant it feels as my soul leaves the body through the head.

I keep rising upward and then find myself in the Beyond, as a soul perhaps, freed from matter, like a «ball» of energy. And this is where I meet with another consciousness, who like me, is pure energy, and whom I seem to know and recognize as someone who cares for me, dominantly male. We don’t exchange words for we have no bodies but we do communicate in some telepathic way. All my thoughts and memories, and all that I am, are accessible to him. I can’t hide anything, not even what I would rather keep for myself: all my faults, my weaknesses and my darkest thoughts… I feel ashamed of how I may appear to him for his consciousness is so beautiful to me: I feel I can’t compare… But I soon realize that to him, it doesn’t matter, and I feel completely understood and loved, despite of this «dark garden» of mine, as if he could see beyond those faults, those weaknesses, and understand all that I am as a whole, as if he could also see all that I can become… And this feels so good, so soothing, like a balm on my wounds…

II Voyage in the Beyond
He then guides me in the Beyond. I follow him as we travel in what resembles the outer space. It is dark and silent. Beautiful purple and perhaps reddish hues appear here and there. As I keep following him, I see some floating lands from afar and from time to time, I also see other consciousnesses travelling around or at a distance, like little balls of light quickly crossing the dark space. It is truly beautiful, quiet, very peaceful…

We then arrive at what seems to be our destination. We «land» on one of these floating islands and if I recall well, we both take a human appearance, although now I can’t seem to remember what he looked like then. The island is rather deserted and its sky is like the outer space: dark with purple hues. I don’t recall any form of vegetation either. We walk in silence and surprisingly, although I don’t know where we are heading, I don’t even think of questioning him, and I seem to be perfectly comfortable with him, and with his silence. Perhaps there was no need to speak anyway, since I was to find what this voyage was for soon enough…

III Rebirth
In that isolated area, we finally see a humble «home». What I see is very hard to put in words, but, all over the place, there are large patch worked canvases of…skins! (I know… It did feel bizarre, but not scary, surprisingly. And actually, I know where I got that from: In the waking state, not so long before I had this dream, I visited an art exhibition where I saw similar patch worked canvases made of different kinds of old leather.)

In a big cauldron, a lady is busy fabricating other skins such as these we can see all over the place (!) We greet her and the next thing I know, I lay on a table, like that of a doctor’s cabinet, for it seems that I am to be reborn and that I need a new skin since it’s now too late to return to my former physical body. She asks me if I’d prefer a thicker skin this time, one that would therefore «resist» better to outer threats («agressions extérieures» in French) than the thin and sensitive type of skin I had formerly. I think about the lady’s suggestion for a moment. My guide is still around, but he remains silent, and simply watches my reaction, as to not interfere with my decision. After giving this some thought, I decide that no, I don’t want that, for then I would be like a different person and I want to remain the same. I want to keep trying. And so, I ask her to make this new skin exactly like my former one, so that I may come back unchanged. Both the lady and my guide seem to approve my decision.

She fabricates the skin in her cauldron, and in some strange way (and a somewhat hurtful one) applies it on my energy body. Then I am back on earth, freshly reborn, and yet exactly like I was before…

Balance and self love
…Or perhaps not so exactly… For then I stopped seeing sensitivity as a curse. I started to see that this «weakness» could become over time a valuable strength once balanced, and that if it was indeed bothersome at this time in my life, it wouldn’t always be the case. I could work on it, mould it like clay. I could nurture this rising strength until it becomes mature. Meanwhile, I knew I had to learn how to balance it and apply it properly, and I slowly became aware that mistakes in that sense were a normal part of the learning process, that I needed to forgive myself if I were to «fail» or fall into traps on my way, and that I needed to accept myself as such: imperfect but learning, and growing; imperfect but still beautiful, and loveable… This is how I saw myself through this other consciousness I met in my dream. And over the years, I slowly came to understand that this is how I should always try to see myself: through understanding and love. I believe that understanding comes as we analyse our issues and find their roots in the process. And self love flows hand in hand with acceptance… This is what I found so far…But there is more to it for sure…Love is a mysterious force after all…Well, it is to me, mind you ;)

[Sinera]

I think this was more than just a dream, but rather could be a real memory of past life and life between lives, just clad in a lot of dream symbolism and scenery.
Not sure if the shot in the heart should only be taken too literally. Maybe there's another interpretation possible: Possibly, you weren't murderd but rather disappointed by love in your last live (that is why the heart was hurt). Maybe this indeed led as a consequence to your earlier death due to the caused grief and disillusionment then. Your feeling of abandonment and hurt-feelings in your youth of this life also might point to this possibility. Well, on the other hand, the scene itself looks like a murder scene. So it could of course have been 'the real thing' too. Whichever way, highly amazing 'dream' you had there.

[poème]

I had this dream years ago, and I always felt it was special, but I knew not how it was so back then. I simply knew not enough. I think this dream actually shaped some of my beliefs about the «unknown» afterwards.

Lately, I've been thinking that perhaps it was a guided outing in the astral (or was it elsewhere...?) through the dream state. If not, I thought it was a dream inspired by past memories such as how it feels to die, and how it feels to be out of body and to meet with another non-physical being. (As far as I can remember, I really knew not much about that back then, at least not counsciously.)

And I thought the purpose to this «dream» was to make me understand, besides what I mentionned already, that it was my very own choice : I wanted to be this way, and I wanted to «keep trying» to deal with this personality's issues...

But I never considered that it could have been linked to a past life. I thought the death scene only happened because it was needed in the storyline. (I had to die to travel in the Beyond) So these are very interesting ideas, Volgerle! What you say adds a lot of meaning to this, although I can't be sure of anything... What's interesting however is that very recently (one week ago or so) I had strange dreams that really looked like past lives again, so I find it really intriguing that you thought of bringing this here, now... :wink:

I lived some childhood scenes of one of them; I was an orphan. Then in another dream scene, I was «my usual dream self» again, and I remember looking at a series of graphic novels telling the story of a young man during a war (possibly the orphan I first dreamed of) who probably died young since on all the graphic novels covers, he never appeared old... Then in another scene, with the help of a teacher I think, I started writing an essay on someone's story, possibly that one, which started like this «It's a really sad story...»

That same night, I also dreamed of two other characters that looked like possible past lives... One was a model travelling in some exotic country, and one was a single mother with two kids living in poverty... All this makes me wonder if I am working on my karma or purging something from these past live... What's bothersome is that I can't tell for sure these were past live, and if so, if these were mine or someone else's... Then again, maybe it doesn't really matter, since surely I was shown this for a reason, and this is what I should rather focus on I guess... Still, all this makes me want to go on a regression therapy! :lol:

Well, I guess I should thank you for making me think of all this :)

[poème]

On May 14, I was told in a dream something (something I totally forgot…again! :)) about a sun god named Helios. Thanks to Wikipedia, once I woke up, I found out more about who that was, for if I quite possibly heard the name before, I am not very knowledgeable when it comes to Greek mythology. Interestingly, in this article, I found out that this divinity corresponded with Sol in the Roman mythology. I found this detail relevant to mention because in Alchemy, the red man (the intellect, the masculine) is sometimes called Sol and is also closely linked to the sun… Moreover, Helios has a sister called Selene: the Moon. Helios and Selene. Sol and Luna. The red man, the red king and the white lady, the white queen… To me, this was clearly referring to Alchemy, and interestingly, I was then about to go through a series of dreams seemingly linked again to the alchemical process, and more precisely, to the conjunction stage:
http://forums.riverofenlightenment.com/index.php?PHPSESSID=cda58c272d6b353319f550a48bba6e 5b&/topic,4273.0.html

Love
Some time before May 15, I started having recurrent dream themes such as ‘being a couple’ or ‘being flirted with and offered gifts’ (mostly tasty desserts for some reason… Seems like my dream self and I both have a sweet tooth :P) and also ‘sharing some degree of intimacy’ with different dream characters.

As I still have these recurring themes in my dreams, my guess would be that the conjunction process may be a very gradual one. Luna & Sol first get in touch, then get closer over time, until they ‘become as one’. It’s also possible that it may be the joining together of several couples of male and female self aspects, hence the different dream characters pictured and why later on I had more dreams featuring earlier stages in a relationship, as if it had started over… Of course, these are speculations based on personal observations alone!

On May 15, I had a series of 4 dream sequences seemingly linked to the themes mentioned, and out of these, I will tell the 3rd one, since I find it kind of intriguing, and the 4th one, since I feel it marked the beginning of an important step forward for me.

May 15, 2011 (3rd dream)
A new home…
In the first scene, I don’t think I am in a dream body as I rather seem to be a disembodied consciousness. I feel a presence with me, another disembodied consciousness, whom is known to me and whom I feel as dominantly male. Together, we look at ‘our new home’. Our point of view seems to be external, curiously, even though we can see the whole interior of the home and all its stories (it is possibly 7 stories high), as if we were looking at a doll house, split in half. There is no furniture yet, nonetheless it is really beautiful, with large windows on the upper floors, and since it is a kind of modern concept with interior balconies opening on the floors beneath, all the upper floors are bathed in sunlight. There are ancient looking wooden double doors on all the lower floors, and I recall a more modern-looking elegant patio door on one of the upper floors. (I can no longer tell for sure if there was more however….)The other consciousness and I seem to be imagining this home, ‘building it’ together. He says something very intriguing at some point: that it may not be such a good idea to have doors on all these floors (!) So I think about removing one for a second, and once my mind is made up, it instantly disappears, just like that!

That being done, we enter in a new dream scene in which we are embodied this time, although I don’t remember what he looked like very clearly. (This is not so uncommon in my dreams. I often do sense who the person is but don’t always see this person’s features very clearly. Perhaps it means that I could develop this inner sense better.) We walk together in an open air marketplace on a beautiful sunny day. It feels like we are a couple. We look at plants and colourful potted flowers for our home, which is still unfurnished. He brings my attention on several plants that are just like one I have at home, although these are two to three times bigger than mine. I don’t think we bought anything, but we had a nice time, and I woke up some time later. It was around 2 am.

In Alchemy, once the feminine (emotions) has been purified in the Lesser Work, the masculine, the mind, must be spiritualized (in the Greater Work perhaps?). Once that is done also, it is said that "(…) the enlightened mind will then incorporate or embody the spirit and together with the enlightened emotions, build a Spiritual Body, a proper Temple for the Soul."
http://www.denverspiritualcommunity.org/Wisdom/Alchemy.htm#anchor164025

In my dream, it seems like the feminine (whose role I was playing in this dream) and the masculine (the male consciousness) decided to skip some steps, since I don’t think I have gone through the Greater Work yet (!) Nonetheless, I find it very striking how it really seems that this is what they were doing: building a new ‘home’ together. I didn’t count how many stories there were in the dream, but I really feel it was quite possibly 7 stories high, which could symbolize the development of the 7 main chakras of the energy body. So this new ‘home’ is very likely to be a new spiritual body… The older looking lower floors would then symbolize an earlier development in comparison with the more modern-looking upper floors. It is also very interesting to note that the upper floors (brow and crown?) communicate and are not separated. However, this new home is still unfurnished and unoccupied, but its basic structure seems to be done, ready for… I’m not exactly sure what yet so I’d rather not say, but I suppose I’ll see later :)

Some time after I woke up from this dream and wrote down all that I could remember, I fell asleep once more. I was to meet with someone again…

[poème]

May 15, 2011 (4th dream)
Sorrow
I am visiting a man in a foreign country, his country. He takes me for a walk in different parts of the city he lives in. It seems to be a large one, with a lot of people walking and hanging around. To make it short, we have a nice time together, and at some point, he offers me a wish card…for Valentine’s Day. (I know…) Even in the dream, the thought that it is kind of late for that - or very early – does cross my mind, but I’m pleased anyway and thank him.

In the evening, we go in a room where we finally have some privacy and we simply discuss on the bed for a time, then he leaves and I spend a good part of the night alone. I decide to make a wish card for him also, and so, I start writing in bold letters something like "Happy Birthday" in French, which is slightly less romantic than a Valentine’s Day card, indeed: P Once finished, I realize there is a very visible mistake on my card and I can’t seem to be able to correct it, so I give up on it and decide to simply write him a few words on another paper instead, something from the heart… But I find it very difficult… Even writing down simple words such as "je t’aime" doesn’t seem right to me for I fear that it may not be quite what I feel and I want to be sincere…

After some time, I also give up on this idea, and have nothing to offer him in the end. I feel so sad about this for I really wish I could return his love, but I can’t… And now I have to leave, to return to my own country. My luggage is all ready, but as I am about to leave, I really feel I have to see him before I go, and so I find him. I am so sad. I tell him I have to leave. He doesn’t say anything: he knows. I simply give him a hug. He kisses me, and to my surprise, I don’t really seem to be able to enjoy it, and this only adds to my sadness…

When I woke up, I still felt so sad… I really felt like I had failed at something, and I thought I had failed because I was not enough loving, and this felt like a terrible thing to me since I have always held this in high esteem… I wanted to be a loving person, but now I felt like my heart was dry, and for me, that was very hard to bear. It seemed to me that something was missing for Luna & Sol to become one; an important ingredient was missing for the once separated elements to recombine, and that ingredient was love…

In synchronicity, someone dear to me, to whom I had not mentioned a thing about this last dream back then, and to whom I haven’t talked either at the time, told me a few days later that he had this dream about me…

May 16, 17 or 18, 2011
Solace
He walks in a school building and paces up and down the corridors. He is searching for someone, and so, through small windows, he takes a look in every classroom he sees until he finally finds the person he is looking for. He then boldly enters the classroom, even though he doesn’t belong there at all! There are many empty tables, and only a few students, some of which are sitting at a table while others are working on the board. If there is a teacher around, he doesn’t notice him or her… Perhaps no teacher is there at the moment. At the back of the classroom, he notices someone sitting quietly at a table, absorbed in her books, looking morose. "There she is!" he says, and he goes toward that person…who is me. He thinks I may have failed an exam or something, which, to him, explains why I look so disappointed, and why I am so absorbed in my books, as if I wanted to catch up on something. He sits next to me and then starts talking to me in a cheerful manner to lift up my mood.… Then he wakes up.

It seems like I’m very lucky to have such considerate persons around me, who, even in the dream state, come to comfort me! :) Even though it’s possible that there was a time lag of a day or so, I find it very intriguing that he obviously picked up on two important elements of the state of mind I was in at the time (May 16-17): the feeling of failure and the morose mood…

More importantly he picked up on a third element that had been my main preoccupation back then: I was trying to understand what were my issues with love, and what were their roots; and I was trying to find how I could heal these wounds and how I could let down my barriers so that I could become more loving… The classroom setting then makes a lot of sense. We could really say that I was ‘studying’ something (examining and trying to understand my issues), and that I was really absorbed by my ‘studies’ (it was my main preoccupation) so that I could ‘catch up’ (becoming more loving) on what I thought I had ‘failed’ (the conjunction of inner opposites.)

Hope
During those days, I was reminded of an important dream I had years ago (see A dream of death and rebirth) and I found comfort in it, for I was also reminded of how this other consciousness saw me back then, through such understanding and love, despite of all the faults I thought I had. I remembered that I needed not to be perfect, and needed not to ‘prove my worth’. All that was asked of me was to keep learning and growing. And none of these faults I thought I had was a fixed point of my character I was ‘cursed with’ forever. With time, and efforts on my part, it was possible to balance all that was unbalanced in me. Besides, I realized that my heart wasn’t that dry, and that indeed I was capable of love… But I still needed to learn how to understand and love myself totally, without condition. I still needed to learn how to let go of my fear to hurt and be hurt and how to let down my barriers; I needed to find the courage to surrender to a stronger flow of love than I was used to… Towards myself, others, and eventually all that is.

I thought of focusing more on loving-kindness forms of meditations (see here: http://www.wildmind.org/metta) and listening to some selected songs which tend to make me feel ‘filled with love’. I also started trying to put in practice the ‘understanding-and-loving-attitude’ in my everyday life, and tried to see, through these eyes, my family and friends, my students, strangers I met on the bus, my cats, and so on… And I am still trying to put into practice in my physical life what I understood then… I suppose it’s going to take some time to truly integrate all this, but I’m ok with that; I can be patient…sometimes ;)

Interestingly, on the night of May 17, I asked in a tarot spread something like: "What I may do about this, what ‘should’ be my attitude?"
And the reply I was given then felt like a very meaningful one to me:

Ace of cups, Six of pentacles, Temperance
http://www.learntarot.com/ca.htm
http://www.learntarot.com/p6.htm
http://www.learntarot.com/maj14.htm

To put it simply, I felt it meant something like…To love, to share, to find balance… ;)

[Beekeeper]

This is indeed very interesting, Poeme. My first thought was that your man in a foreign country was an aspect of you, a masculine expression or what Jung would call your animus that you see as foreign. Loving him would be a metaphor for accepting this part of yourself and uniting masculine and feminine energies.

It is always extremely interesting when others' dreams confirm that they've caught up with you in the dream state. I've had others tell me of dreams of me that have also resonated either with something in waking life or a dream or, curiously, with another's dream of me.

[poème]

Hello Beekeeper,
It is a very clear way to word it. I haven't considered reading Jung's writings on the topic so far, but I guess I could benefit from it... Perhaps I should visit my local library some time soon ;)

Out of curiosity, did you tell one or some of these dreams on the forum? If so, could you post the link or tell me where... I'd love to read more accounts of that kind... It really fascinates me that we really do communicate with others we are in touch with, and this, whitout having to see them or to speak to them...

[Beekeeper]

I can't remember. One was very simple: someone offered for me to take care of a little Chinese girl (IIRC) and I refused. My friend mentioned this because he thought my dream version wasn't as I'd act IRL. I explained that it was that my son had asked me to host a female Japanese exchange student (a teen, not a little girl) and I had said no IRL because I felt we were too busy and stressed with our jobs to properly care for an exchange student if she became homesick.

The other was the same friend and another at work (they hadn't met) who kept dreaming of me wearing the colour purple for a brief stage, even though I don't wear the colour all that often IRL.

[poème]

I think I remember reading the first one somewhere on the board... :-)
The second one is very striking.. Two unrelated persons dreaming of you wearing the same color..!

[poème]

In my dream journal, on the night of May 17, I wrote down these key words the first time I woke up: ’’évaluation de mes aspects intérieurs’’ which literally means ‘’evaluation of my inner aspects’’. I also noted that ’my mother’ was there. To be honest, I barely remember that dream, but these words I wrote down back then are enough for me to shed some light on the next dream I was going to have that same night, one that may appear very mundane at first glance, although I found that it possibly carried a much deeper meaning than what I first attached to it… (i.e. not much! :lol:)

May 17, 2011 (2nd dream)
La Blanche de Chambly
I am with my 'mother' and one or two other persons I seem to know, and we are alone on a beautiful and quiet beach, sitting together around an ancient-looking wooden table. I believe it was at dusk. We discuss together happily as we seem to be celebrating something, and we savour delicious chocolate. (I could actually really taste it in the dream and surely, it was the best chocolate I ever tasted!) We are all having a good time. I feel so good. Against one side of the table, oddly enough, there is a large wooden quaint-looking shelf (on the beach, yes ;)) on which are stored all kinds of bottled beers from numerous countries. I look at all the bottles exposed and one of them instantly catches my eye, for I am very pleasantly surprised to see, among this collection, a local beer we have here, in Quebec: la Blanche de Chambly. I notice that the label is different however. (I am not sure but I think it depicted a woman.) For some reason, I am curiously fascinated by it, as if there was, for me, a deep meaning attached to it…

A white dress…
And I believe there was one… In many cultures, a beer tends to be associated with a woman, especially when it comes to its color: a blond beer is associated with a blond haired woman for instance. We do so here too, but in French, connoisseurs also use the word ‘robe’ which means ‘dress’ to describe the color of a beer (or of a wine). La Blanche de Chambly is a pale colour beer, almost white, hence it’s name ‘La Blanche’, therefore connoisseurs would say in French : ‘’Sa robe est blanche.’’, i.e. ‘’Her dress is white.’’ I can’t help but to think that this was a reference to the white lady (the feminine or Luna).

…And a red coat
Two other dreams I had later on May 25 and 27 seem to confirm this intuition… I dreamed I was wearing a long white dress. Interestingly, this is a dress I do have in my wardrobe. It is an old fashioned, simple and pretty cotton wedding dress bought at a second hand store for artistic purposes. This seems to me like a very clear reference to the white lady (feminine, Luna) who is to marry the red man (masculine, Sol). Moreover, over that dress, I was wearing my winter coat, which is… red! (Now I do am sensitive to the cold, but certainly not to that extent…There is really no need to put on a winter coat at the end of May, not even where I live! :lol:) To me, these dreams quite possibly meant that Sol was then protecting Luna, that they were they united at last…


A celebration
The most important element of the beach dream, however, was the celebration aspect. What were we celebrating? I believe that possibly, I had made some progress, for I had found what was the missing ingredient (see Part II - The missing ingredient) and had started seeking for it… In alchemy, it is said that the white lady, in her earlier stages of development, is to appear naked, such as I appeared in a few previous dreams, but later in her development, she is to appear clothed in her royal gown: a white dress… Perhaps Luna had matured enough and was almost healed. Maybe were we then celebrating this? This and also a seemingly important and profound event that was going to occur in a very intriguing dream on the following night…

(More to come!)

[poème]

So what was that upcoming event worth celebrating? Was it the upcoming marriage of Luna & Sol? Not exactly so… On the night of May 18, I was to find that this ‘all-happy upcoming event’ was actually going to be… my death!

May 18, 2011
A beautiful death

I Snakes again…
Someone whom I know and trust is with me. I don’t remember if we were embodied or not, perhaps not… I see snakes on a bathroom floor, possibly in pairs: a pair of light pinkish beige cobras and a pair of thicker and longer white snakes, all moving really fast in some kind of figure, as if it was some strange choreography. I am not scared, but it impresses me that they appear so full of life, that they move so fast. I ask the person accompanying me if ’it’ is going to start with the cobras, and he says yes… For some reason, it reassures me (!)

II The light within
I am now sitting on my knees in a bath tub. There is not much water, maybe only 2 to 3 inches deep. The same person who was accompanying me is there also, sitting in front of me… (And apparently, I don’t find it odd that he’s with me in that tub! :lol:) For some reason, I then raise my right hand and look at my palm. To my amazement, I see a yellowish or golden light shining through the translucent skin of my palm. It is so beautiful… I can’t believe my eyes! I show this to my ‘companion’ and then everything happens fairly quickly… I feel like I am suddenly entirely filled with this light shining through my skin, and I barely have any time to think or wonder about this before he tells me, with a lot of composure, as if it was a statement, a pure fact, something like: ‘’You are burning.’’

I am suddenly left alone for he disappears, and I notice a small flame that indeed started burning somewhere on my body. (I can’t seem to be able to recall where for sure…) Curiously (but happily) it does not burn nor does it hurt. I seem to know what is going to happen next and I am a little nervous, because obviously I’ve never gone through this before, and I am not too sure what to do. Quickly, I pour some water on my face and on my head for I am wary of the fire reaching these, although I am not sure either if it’s a good idea to try to attenuate the fire, but I don’t have time to give this more thoughts as thefire quickly spreads and in a second, I am consumed entirely.

III Energy
I felt no harm and although I certainly am dead at this point, I feel I am still there, or more likely, my consciousness is… I seem to know that authorities are now forbidding access to my ‘death scene’ as they do not want the word to spread, but a lady saw it all (how did she; it will remain a mystery ;)) and she tries to tell someone else about it, rather incoherently for she is far too excited and/or still under the shock of what she apparently witnessed. She keeps mentioning the word ‘energy’ in her speech…

When I woke up that morning, I really wondered what this dream meant. It appeared like something important to me, like a dream that implied some kind of transformation, and I wondered to myself: ''Shouldn’t I feel different then? I don’t really feel different… I’m quite the same actually!’’ and this amused me for a moment. I noticed however that I felt quite light-hearted that morning. It was a relief considering the morose mood I had carried on for two days not so long ago. As for the meaning of this dream, that night, I was to have this intriguing follow-up on the theme…

May 19, 2011
The forum is online again… ;)
In the dream, I remember that the forum had been offline for a week or so, and I also remember that I had received an email notifying me that someone had replied to my Dream journal thread (which was the case in the waking state), so since I’m curious to read that reply, I give the site a try again, and this time, it works… The reply to my dream journal is a very complex one and I barely understand it. Moreover, I don’t recall having seen that curious member’s name before. (More on that in my next post; the name is strangely revealing!)

I decide to take a look at what was posted lately, then a thread’s title, all written in capital letters, instantly draws my attention. It says: ‘'HIGHER SELF’S BEAM OF LIGHT’’. I click on this thread right away and read the post, which was apparently written by another francophone, since the post is completely bilingual (and all in capital letters!) but to make it short, the person shares a dream that he had, stangely similar to the one I had on May 18. He says he saw light in his hands before he was entirely consumed ‘‘by the fire of his Higher self’’.

Interestingly, when I woke up that morning (May 20), I went right away on my computer to see if the forum was indeed online again and… yes, it was working! I checked the reply I had received on my Dream journal thread and found out that it was from Volgerle (and not from that mysterious member who had replied to the ‘dream thread’ ;)). Of course, I also found no trace of the curious post I had read on the board’s dream counterpart!

However, I am starting to think that this intriguing post was a message trying to tell me what was the deep meaning of the dream I had the day before, and what it implied, since I really had no clue, although I deeply wanted to understand what was going on. When I think of it now, it was quite a direct message. Indeed, one of the alchemical marriages said to occur involves the joining together of the Lower self and the Higher self. This is not exactly what was said in the post, though, so maybe this is speculation. However, it was very clearly said (and all in capital letters!) that this light which filled me, and this fire which consumed me, were the light and fire of my Higher self.

Believe it or not, I still doubted it, for I thought it looked like too much of a big thing and surely, I couldn’t possibly be there yet, and so, I spent hours and hours on the net trying to understand what my dream could have meant, and the more I would read, the more I would get completely lost in details… Now that I think of it, I suspect the ‘authorities who did not want the word to spread’ in my dream to be authorities from my very own ‘censorship bureau’ who seem to be very concerned about not troubling my conscious self too much. Interestingly, there is also a witness who had been trying to tell it all, to spread the word. Was this lady a part of me who knew and wanted my conscious self to know? I now believe she was. In my dream however, she was misunderstood, almost taken for someone who had lost her mind… And as I am writing this, I realize that this is exactly how I received the message on the ‘dream board’… I thought it was impossible, and that possibly my imagination had made this up (wishful thinking?). If not, I thought that surely then, it was still not to be taken too literally…

Only lately did I start reconsidering this dream. The ‘censorship bureau’ is still working hard on that one, but I can’t help it now… I started wondering: what if indeed I had the answer right under my eyes all this time? What if it really could explain it all?

What if it was possible…

[Sinera]

May 19, 2011
The forum is online again… ;)
In the dream, I remember that the forum had been offline for a week or so, and I also remember that I had received an email notifying me that someone had replied to my Dream journal thread (which was the case in the waking state), so since I’m curious to read that reply, I give the site a try again, and this time, it works… The reply to my dream journal is a very complex one and I barely understand it. Moreover, I don’t recall having seen that curious member’s name before. (More on that in my next post; the name is strangely revealing!)

I decide to take a look at what was posted lately, then a thread’s title, all written in capital letters, instantly draws my attention. It says: ‘'HIGHER SELF’S BEAM OF LIGHT’’. I click on this thread right away and read the post, which was apparently written by another francophone, since the post is completely bilingual (and all in capital letters!) but to make it short, the person shares a dream that he had, stangely similar to the one I had on May 18. He says he saw light in his hands before he was entirely consumed ‘‘by the fire of his Higher self’’.

Interestingly, when I woke up that morning (May 20), I went right away on my computer to see if the forum was indeed online again and… yes, it was working! I checked the reply I had received on my Dream journal thread and found out that it was from Volgerle (and not from that mysterious member who had replied to the ‘dream thread’ ;)). Of course, I also found no trace of the curious post I had read on the board’s dream counterpart!

Well, I hope you weren't too disappointed then that it was only that same old chap called Volgerle and not the francophone mysterious member. :wink:

By the way, although I consider it purely coincidental, it is funny and really struck me when I read it, therefore I point out two things:

As regards the francophone person you were expecting: Well, no ... I am not francophone at all. I know a little French from classes in my school days, but I was never too good at it.
However: My last name is 100% French! It is not German at all. Although there is a way to pronounce it german-like (and we normally do), many people who read my name the first time, think they must pronounce it in its French version. :cool:

As regards the 'fire hand' dream this (dream) post relates to: Well, I do not consider it a beam of my Higher Self (at least not yet), neither do I want to burn up in it. It is rather Reconnective healing energy since I went to a Reconnective Healer and also 'was reconnected' to the supposed axiatonal gridlines around the Earth. But who knows, maybe it is the same anyway as one's Oversoul is involved in this?

So here is what I wrote on my post from April 20th in connection with my lucidventure in the homeopathy school / library on the mental plane (Nov 2010). It is from the original post, see link, it was only edited 2 days ago by me for formatting reasons (and below that you also can still read the 'original original' on the old forum).


"Furthermore, around that time in Nov., one night, after a longer talk with someone (guide/HS?) in dreamstate, my hands became energy-activated almost 'by command ("activate them")' from which I woke up with tingling/burning hand palms. Since then I feel energy (from slight tingling until stronger, although bearable and controlable burning sensations) now almost constantly in my hands, esp. the right one. My observations prove to me that the tingling gets stronger when I think or write about any spiritual matters, and even more so when I do energy work exercise or self-healing with them! It's really fascinating."You see, I indeed do have BURNING HANDS that do not hurt! I have them almost all the time! Just tingling energy that starts on its own now and then, but I can also force it / bring it on, so to speak, at will. I don't have to meditate for this or do energy work sessions, it happens pretty fast.

http://www.astraldynamics.com.au/showthread.php?11852-Volgerle-s-Lucidiary&p=97390#post97390

http://forums.astraldynamics.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=23524&start=45#p146631

(btw, if you don't know about Reconnective Healing/Energy, here is some info:
http://www.thereconnection.com/ )

[Korpo]

Hello, poeme.

Your doubt might go away if you consider what happened the start of a process, not its culmination. Mystical states usually first arrive as peak experiences spontaneously. They appear without you knowing why and can leave a considerable need to delve into them to understand what was going on.

The mystical experience can then take several forms, like experiencing another aspect of your being making contact with you - meeting your Higher Self as a person or making contact in another form (like the inner light), seeing yourself temporarily from that other perspective, experiencing that perspective as your own, and experiencing that perspective as yours more and more often.

All of these experiences can be seen as part of a shift. That's why I would consider it a process. Peak experiences can leave you with sudden insights, but also will need some integration. It will be interesting to look back and see how your perception of yourself and your life shifted over the years, and how this process unfolded for you. It's in one sense very personal, and in another sense also archetypal.

Cheers,
Oliver

[poème]

Well, I hope you weren't too disappointed then that it was only that same old chap called Volgerle and not the francophone mysterious member.


I thought you would say something like that! :lol: But NO, don't you worry...;)

The mysterious member who replied to the dream counterpart of my dream journal was not a francophone and the whole post was in English. And I found out later that the member's 'name' was actually a word in sanskrit (!) very oddly linked to dreams I was going to have the next day and also very curiously linked to something you wrote here not so long after.. I'm already telling a lot, perhaps too much!

That being said, the curious post about the Higher self was indeed written both in French and English which gave me the impression that the person posting was possibly a francophone. I didn't recall this member's name however! What you mention is very interesting and there is indeed something about your dream of the burning hands that's close enough to mine... The fire that doesn't burn...

I don't think I have burning hands like you in the waking state however... I very rarelly felt a strong warm sensation so far.. What I feel is mostly fresh/cold for some reason!

Looks like your healing talents unfold very nicely by the way ;)

[poème]

Korpo, thank you for these words!

I really want to let go of these doubts I too often have, and I think I needed to be told exactly this : that this experience, just like any other, is to be seen as part of a process, a shift... A neverending journey with always more to find...

What you say about mystical experience also speak to me a lot... And I will try to look back and see, it will be interesting, indeed :-)

[poème]

On May 27, I had planned to start writing The alchemical path series, but at the time, I was still having a hard time untangling all that I wanted to write about in this series and words just wouldn’t come out, so instead, I decided to focus solely on one of the dreams I had planned to write as part of the series, a dream I had years ago. In this dream, I was shot at the heart and died, then I travelled in the Beyond with a loving consciousness in order to meet a lady who was to literally craft a new skin for me, as I was to be reborn. (See A dream of death and rebirth)

Memories of past lives and life between lives
I posted this dream the next day and then received an interesting comment from Volgerle pointing out that it was possibly tied to a memory of life between life and that the death scene could have been linked to a memory of my death in my former life, weather it was to be taken literally (I was really shot) or not so literally (symbolising then issues or trauma of an emotional kind).

While I had focused mainly on how it had felt to meet with this loving and understanding consciousness and how I had came to understand that I could balance my unresolved sensitivity issues in this life, I had not given much thoughts to the possible karmic aspect of this dream, and how it could have been really tied to memories of past lives and/or life between lives. Although it may or may not be not the case here, this has me thinking that we may very often receive and carry messages from/for other persons we interact with, without us even knowing consciously about it... Why so? Perhaps because a third party less involved in our issues is more likely to be receptive to such messages that a guide, one's Higher self and/or self aspects may be trying to send us. Such messages, worded clearly by someone else, in a language we may understand better than one of symbols (dreams for instance), are then likely to be better received than those from our very own ‘inner voice’ we may be distorting, blocking, (or simply not listening to) when too involved in our own issues and/or when not neutral enough. This doesn’t mean that everything we say and everyone’s words are messages from a guide, the Higher self or self aspects, but I’m quite convinced that this happens more often than we think and that besides some openness and empathy, one doesn’t need special talents to be the vessel of such messages. It may simply come along with our spiritual nature, shared by all.

Karma
That being said, it is also very interesting to see how timely that comment was, since about a week earlier, on May 19, I had dreamed that someone with a curious name had replied to my dream journal thread on the forum. (See ‘The forum is online again’ from The Alchemical path – Part IV – Death) While I did not remember clearly the reply, I did recall the ‘name’ of the ‘poster’ which I had then mistaken for a female name : Vasana. Only later was I to have the insight of looking on the net for the meaning behind the ‘name’, and only then was I to find out that it was actually a Sanskrit word:


“vāsanā (Skt.). Habitual tendencies or dispositions, a term, often used synonymously with bīja (http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1O108-bja.html) (‘seed’). It is found in Pāli (http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1O108-Pli.html) and early Sanskrit (http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1O108-Sanskrit.html) sources but comes to prominence with the Yogācāra (http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1O108-Yogcra.html), for whom it denotes the latent energy resulting from actions which are thought to become ‘imprinted’ in the subject's storehouse-consciousness (ālaya-vijñāna (http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1O108-layavijna.html)). The accumulation of these habitual tendencies is believed to predispose one to particular patterns of behaviour in the future.”
http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1O108-vsan.html

“bīja (Skt., seed). A term used in Yogācāra (http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1O108-Yogcra.html) Buddhism (http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1O108-Buddhism.html) to denote the ‘packets’ of karmic energy produced through habitual actions and stored in the ālaya-vijñāna (http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1O108-layavijna.html). Just as in more conventional understandings of the operation of karma (http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1O108-karma.html), it is believed that these ‘seeds’ will produce their ‘fruit’ at a future date in the form of pleasant and unpleasant experiences.(…)”
http://www.encyclopedia.com/topic/bija.aspx#1-1O108:bja-full

I’m still unsure if I understand the meaning of ‘vāsanā’ thoroughly, but I do understand, however, that some repeating patterns of behaviour in my actual life result from these ‘karmic seeds’ that were implanted in earlier lives, and that I quite possibly needed to take a closer look at these in order to break free from the resulting patterns. Finding the seeds would help me understanding why I act in a certain way and understanding this would then lead me to see how I could work toward breaking that circle. To find those seeds, perhaps I needed to remember glimpses of some past lives…

Past lives
…And very interestingly, on the following night (May 20), I dreamed of glimpses of some recent past lives, as I told Volgerle a week later in my reply to his – very timely - comment:
“I lived some childhood scenes of one of them; I was an orphan. Then in another dream scene, I was ‘my usual dream self’ again, and I remember looking at a series of graphic novels telling the story of a young man during a war (possibly the orphan I first dreamed of) who probably died young since on all the graphic novels covers, he never appeared old... Then in another scene, with the help of a teacher I think, I started writing an essay on someone's story, possibly that one, which started like this: “It's a really sad story...”

That same night, I also dreamed of two other characters that looked like possible past lives... One was a model travelling in some exotic country, and one was a single mother with two kids living in poverty... All this makes me wonder if I am working on my karma or purging something from these past live...”

A visit to the Akashic library…
The nature of this essay I was writing with a teacher in a old looking library setting makes me wonder if I was at the akashic library analysing past lives with the help of a guide (teacher). Moreover, the ‘’graphic novels’’ series (or more precisely graphic albums) I looked at were possibly ‘’life books’’ that can be found there. About this, Michael Newton says that his clients remembering, under hypnosis, time spent in the akashic library between lifetimes, would typically see their names on the life books, which was not the case here however. Instead, the titles, as well as the cover’s visuals, were giving hints about the evolution of this life (did not recall these once awaken though), and even two cities names where it has occurred (did recall these), but not this person’s name. I suppose it can be pictured very differently from one person to another though.

Interestingly, if this was indeed the akashic library, it seems like the library is not all about books (or albums), and many options are available to study or review past lives. For instance, I directly experienced childhood scenes as the orphan (a kind of virtual reality perhaps) but not so directly when it came to the model’s life. I was then immersed in her environment, but next to her, as an invisible observer… I actually felt distinct enough from her to compare myself to her! :P As for the single mother’s life, I don’t recall seeing her environment or anything at all from her life. I only saw her and felt who she was and what her life was like, and I think the dream overlay became thicker at this point, since I was then in what really looked like a typical dream scene, as a dream character, on top of a pile of empty cardboard boxes (no snakes inside this time :P) I had to send for… recycling! (I could not put it into words but I do feel a link between karma and recycling.) As for the mother and the children, I faintly recall she was down there, upset about something, holding both her children by the hand…

…Or memories from a former visit between lifetimes?
Considering the dream tone to this experience, it’s possible that I did not go directly to the akashic library (or wherever that was) that night, and rather simply recalled in this dream memories of what I possibly experienced before I incarnated, memories of being in the akashic library for instance, or even memories of being in the life selection room Michael Newton depicts in his writings, where souls go to choose, for their future incarnation, a body and life setting suiting their learning needs.

Vāsanā
Whatever was the true nature of this dream, it is very intriguing how everything I told in this post seems to have a connection to that word. But how did I know about that word? I am pretty sure I had really not much prior conscious knowledge of Buddhism philosophy, and I certainly knew not what ‘vāsanā’ was, hence why it took me more than 2 weeks to find out its meaning! This led me to think that my conscious self definitely knew not about this, but some other intelligence did, whether this intelligence was a guide, my Higher self or some other part of my Self. Why then was I given a word I did not know instead of one I would have understood right away, such as, let’s says, ‘karma’? It’s likely that it was on purpose. I’ve noticed that I’m often given half answers or such obscure clues instead of full answers. As a result, it triggers my curiosity and sends me on some quest to look for the full answers, which is, as you may have noticed too, something I apparently enjoy a lot… Even tough sometimes I certainly would love to be told the whole thing right away! But then, there would be no fun left I suppose ;)

[CFTraveler]

Fascinating post/thread. I hope you don't mind this comment, I want to come back and read it when I have more time, and then I'll delete this.

[Beekeeper]

Poeme, I've taken to reading your thematic dream journal and must say that I'm not only enjoying it tremendously but relating to much of your dream imagery. Like you, I've found deeper meaning to my dreams by looking up words (and numbers) that yielded relevant information that I didn't know consciously.

I loved what Oliver said about peak experiences. I hadn't really considered this but it feels very true.

[Korpo]

Hello, poeme.


As for the single mother’s life, I don’t recall seeing her environment or anything at all from her life. I only saw her and felt who she was and what her life was like, and I think the dream overlay became thicker at this point, since I was then in what really looked like a typical dream scene, as a dream character, on top of a pile of empty cardboard boxes (no snakes inside this time :P) I had to send for… recycling! (I could not put it into words but I do feel a link between karma and recycling.) As for the mother and the children, I faintly recall she was down there, upset about something, holding both her children by the hand…

This could be a case of what Kurt calls "optional karma." For example a feeling of obligation towards the children if the mother died young. This kind of karma can arise when we feel obligated, like when we desired a love affair (on both ends) that didn't come to pass, or for example when we honor an oath or deeply felt promise. That's different from the "harder kinds" of karma that need fulfillment of a sort in that one can realise one has not to let this karma come to pass necessarily. I think this might be the case because of the recycled boxes here.

Just an idea. Read more here, coincidentally ;) contained in a report from Kurt to his visit to the Akashic Records: http://www.kurtleland.com/astral-projection-log/2003/94-tour-of-the-akashic-records-upper-mental-plane-causal-body

Cheers,
Oliver

[poème]

CF,
I don't mind at all... I was actually pleased to read that you had a good time reading this! :)


Beekeeper,
Tremendously! Now I'm blushing :lol:
More seriously, thank you for the encouraging words and I'm really glad you can relate to this!


Like you, I've found deeper meaning to my dreams by looking up words (and numbers) that yielded relevant information that I didn't know consciously.

Numbers too, you are so right! Phone numbers, adresses, bus numbers... Numbers show up constantly in dreams, and yet I never really paid much attention to the possible deeper meaning underlying these... I shall take a further look in my dream journal, I think ;)

Korpo,
I just read this article again, with new eyes, thanks to your insights (optional karma makes so much sense!), and this passage strongly caught my attention, especially the last three words:


When yoga and Buddhism say that what you desire will keep you bound to the cycle of death and rebirth, they know whereof they speak. There are other ways of clearing out optional karma without such a sense of obligation to others--for example, by realizing it is optional.


It is optional... For some reason, it speaks to me a lot!

[poème]

June 12, 2011
Spirits of the forest
It’s a beautiful day. I am standing near a clear stream of water running along the border of a forest, only a few feet away from it. (In the dream, I actually think of the stream as a ‘torrent’ despite of appearances, perhaps because it has a strong current.) I look at one particular spot of the ‘torrent’ as it seems to be sparkling, and this has me daydreaming about the water spirits that may be living in this part of the ‘torrent’. I remember that someone told me I possibly had nature spirits around and I wonder if these spirits he thought were accompanying me are of that kind. I remember reading afterwards that such spirits rarely showed themselves to humans and I wonder if I could be lucky enough to see them. I try to take a closer look, but no, even though I am convinced there are spirits in that part of the stream; I can’t seem to be able to see any. However, there was more to come… ;)

I then look at the forest. It is bright and clear, tranquil. I try to commune with the forest for a short moment when suddenly I see, appearing between branches, a deer (possibly a stag actually) gracefully approaching toward me. Then I also see another deer (a doe this time) also approaching. And then, to my amazement, I see a fawn! It’s a beautiful sight, a real pleasure for the eyes, although I am not sure what to do and why they all come toward me. Then I no longer see deer. Instead, I see a man and a woman walking hand in hand. They are smiling. And their child, a little boy, comes to give me a hug. I find him so sweet and I can’t help but to feel that this moment is very special…

The guardians of the stream
I was really told, in the waking state, that I possibly had nature spirits around, which is why, in the dream, I was thinking about what I was told and what I had read afterward on the topic. This person’s guess was that they were around to protect me. In the dream, the stream where I thought the water spirits lived seemed to circle the border of the forest. It may indeed be seen as the protective border between the unconscious (the forest) and the conscious (the other side of the stream, where I was first standing), and the nature spirits may be seen as emissaries connected to both worlds, the guardians of this threshold to the unconscious.

Interestingly, later on in the dream, the stream apparently disappeared, since I don’t think I moved from where I was standing, and I don’t remember the family crossing the stream to come near me, as if the barrier between the conscious and the unconscious mind had then dissolved, as if the guardians of the threshold had temporarily granted me (or them) access for this moment to happen… :)

Power animals
Who was this couple and their child, and why had they first appeared as deer? Surely, this had a meaning, I wondered, and as I was giving this some thoughts, I was reminded of topics I had seen on the forum about totem animals (also called power animals, or animal spirit guides), so that week, I started reading articles on the web about the topic and discovered shamanism in the process: http://www.shamanlinks.net/index.htm

From the shamanism perspective, power animals are guardian spirits who come to share their gifts, or the ‘powers’ and wisdom which the animal is said to possess and which are passed on to their protégé through their teaching. Some may come to us for a time only, and some may be with us since birth. It is thought that children are often aware (unconsciously perhaps) of their power animals and that this may show through as a strong attraction to a specific animal. When I think of it, believe it or not, as a child I was constantly drawing…deer (and unicorns, but I don’t think this one counts as a power animal in the shamanic tradition ;)) I even recall imagining a story about a girl living in the forest who would transform as a deer at will…

As I was reading this article, it felt so strangely true to me that the qualities taught by the deer were qualities I had been working toward all along (doesn’t mean I’m there yet, but I genuinely want to learn!). I could no longer doubt the existence of such a guarding and guiding energy in my life, whether it was to be seen as a power animal or as something else. This is not ego flattering. On the contrary, discovering one’s lifelong ‘power animal’ may help one realizes what needs to be developed, and what one may be here to focus on in this life. And these may be clues to find out the ‘master intention’ of the true Self… You may want to give this a try too ;)

The stag and the doe
And there was more to it… Indeed, I was to find out, only later, that the symbol of the deer has been actually used in this dream to convey more than one meaning at once. I realized this only when I started working on this text. I had learned before that a male deer was called a buck in English, but in the shamanic article, there was this other word, which was also obviously used for a male deer: stag. For some reason, I felt compelled to check in an online dictionary what the difference between a buck and a stag was and this is when I noticed, at the bottom of the page, the expression ‘stag and doe party’. I suddenly remembered that not so long ago (after I had this dream), one of my students and I had met in the elevator a young man who was about to get married and who talked about this to my student who had once been his colleague. Teachers, indeed, can learn a good deal from their students and well, that morning, I learned what a ‘stag and doe party’ was, an English expression I had never heard before.

Luna and Sol
At the time, although I could understand that a stag was the groom-to-be and a doe a bride-to-be, I didn’t click on that a stag and a doe were actually deer, so I didn’t see the link with my dream right away…But I certainly did, when I checked that dictionary ;) Indeed, we have here a clear allusion to this very recurring alchemical marriage theme (conjunction stage) going on in my recent dreams. The stag symbolises the groom-to-be, Sol (inner male aspect), and the doe symbolises the bride-to-be, Luna (inner female aspect). Moreover, when the couple took a human form, Sol appeared on the right (male side) and Luna on the left (female side), just as the couple always seems to be pictured in alchemy’s imagery. It seems like even such details are taken into account in dream imagery, and that even they hold a symbolic value…

And there is still more… Almost a year ago (August 2010), I had also dreamed of a deer (see The White one from the series To see or not to see – Part IV – A path of transformation). In this dream, I was holding on a leash a white male deer who then transformed into a white dog before I finally decided to let him go, although I was so attached to him I felt really sad about it.

I had linked this dream to the separation stage (III) in alchemy, and indeed, it had felt to me as if a part of my self had gone far away. The conjunction stage, which follows the separation, is about the joining together of these once separated parts of the self. I find it intriguing that this same symbol (the deer) was used back then. It leads me to think that it was Sol (the male deer, a male inner aspect) who then had to go. All this time however, we were still in touch (in the dream, I was given a white cell phone so that I could always reach him) and now, he’s apparently back… and in love, which is good ;)

***
This entry is going to be the last one on this journal for a little while. I am going out of the country for six weeks and I will probably be very busy enjoying my travel, which means I probably won’t have time to ponder and write 3 pages long texts meanwhile ;)

Besides, to be very honest, this voyage comes right in time since I need to take some time away from the forum at the moment, but chances are I’ll be back in six weeks, with lots of new stories to tell. A lot can happen in six weeks, after all ;)

[Beekeeper]

Have fantastic dreams while you travel, Poeme. I anticipate some entertainment and edification upon your return!;)

[poème]

Thank you Beekeeper, it really pleased me to read your kind words! :)

[poème]

In my tarot readings, I often noticed that for a given period of time, some cards keep showing up a lot more than the others and also tend to be brought as the topics. (In a reading session, I usually invite my guides and higher self to bring topics they want to discuss, and I draw 2 or 3 cards, each one standing for a different topic). One of the cards often featured in my readings at the time (and lately as well) was the Death card…

Alchemy – V – Fermentation
http://forums.riverofenlightenment.com/index.php?PHPSESSID=cda58c272d6b353319f550a48bba6e 5b&/topic,4274.0.html
In Alchemy, the Death card corresponds to the 5th step toward self-realization:
‘’Fermentation is also known as Putrefaction or decomposition. This decomposition is the rotting of the dead self. There is realization on a deep level of ones deficiencies and a possibility of mental depression at this stage. To look into the dark shadows of ones self is to look at what most deny. Jung spoke of the importance of embracing one’s shadow so that the darkness of it could be illuminated. When the shadow is embraced it can be healed with the introspection and understanding of what gave it birth. Regeneration and growth begins to take place during this stage.’’
http://www.hollingsworthcounseling.com/stages.htm

Seeds and patterns
As I understand it, at first, this card was announcing the death-to-come of my old self so that a new self may eventually arise. In the dream state, this death was portrayed in a dream I had earlier in which I was consumed by a light and fire within. (See The light within from The alchemical path - Part IV – Death). Picturing death, but also carrying a promise of renewal, like spring after winter, this card and this dream then marked the beginning of a new process: the slow decay of the old self, or in other words, the decay of old beliefs and imprinted habitual tendencies or imprinted behavioural patterns (vasana) that I needed to part from now that they were dead (no longer appropriate or needed). To do so, the shadow needed to be embraced (introspection); it needed to be brought to light (understanding).

More karmic elements
Elements to work on were (and still are, as I believe this process is still going on) brought to my attention in a gradual fashion through the dream state (I believe some were brought in the physical as well), and would at first typically concern wounds and flaws of my current personality, but soon enough, possible karmic elements of a sensitive nature also started to pour in. I chose to share the following dream, in spite of its dark tone, because it was the first to strongly challenge parts of my belief system that were (and perhaps still are) called to change. I was to start embracing the shadow then, and I believe this necessary shake-up was a first step forward on a path that would later on lead me to start healing my shadow. That said, it is interesting to note that this possibility (and duty) to heal my shadow seems to be pictured in the third part of the dream involving cleaning. Cleaning is a recurrent and ongoing theme in some of my recent karmic dreams and I can think of at least two instances (I will tell later) where it appeared to be the happy conclusion, the solution, as if cleaning was linked to purification and healing.

July 4th, 2011 (1st dream)
The wounded woman
I am sitting in the backseat of a car with a man. I can’t seem to recall who was driving, but the impression I had was that the man had given instructions to the driver. I feel him as someone I know and trust and appreciate, someone with a strong and straightforward personality.

I Browsing video games
He asks me to look for two DVDs on his behalf, and he gives me $10 to buy both of them. Five dollars seems like a rather cheap price for a DVD to me, but nevertheless, I start browsing, in the car, screens and screens of titles I am apparently scrolling up and down with my thoughts. I recognize one of the titles he wanted me to find, oddly called, in English, `Psychic date` and realize it is actually some kind of video game, a seemingly violent one at that. I am surprised by this as I didn’t know he was into that kind of video game… Not that I am thinking less of him then ; my thought is simply tainted by surprise.

II The wounded woman
Then I take a peek at the content of this game and I see a young woman left for dead in a dark empty room, lying on the ground naked. She has no arms, like a greek statue, and one of her foot is missing too. There is a cartoon feel to the scene, meant to make it appear less realistic and not too detailed so that the visuals do not appear too disturbing. I feel a link with her, and I say to someone, possibly the man with me in the car, that she is still alive and that she is suffering. My words are tainted with compassion and yet, I am strangely not overwhelmed by her feelings nor mines.

III The cleaning chore
We finally arrive where we were going. Although it doesn’t ressemble much my father’s farm, it seems like this is where we are, and the man sends me on a cleaning task in my father’s large garage where are kept tractors and farm machinery. I look around and among trucks and other large and strange vehicles I’ve never seen before, I see, to my surprise, my old bicycle, and as I look at it with a smile and some nostalgia, I think that I no longer need it, and so I gently put it aside on the floor. I then pick up a wet cloth in order to start the cleaning job, but as I look around, I wonder what I’m supposed to clean… Is is the floor? The trucks and tractors? The other vehicles? Everything looks clean enough to me. It seems like I don’t really feel like doing this chore, and more than once, I go back to the man (or my `dad` at this point; it is not clear) to ask him if I really have to do this (:lol:) ...But according to him, I do have to, indeed.

Challenged beliefs
I woke up, and even though the softened visuals showed no blood or very graphic or explicit visuals, I was quite disturbed by the implicit violence and suffering the young woman had to endure. I wondered who she was… Of course, it was possible that she was a dream character symbolising some inner wounds or losses, but I also recalled something strange the man and I discussed briefly at some point in the car(no longer sure when exactly) that made me think this dream had a karmic touch. I was told something like I had to be on the receiving end… Was it for good or ill? Was I supposed to be `on the receiving end` back then, in this life or in a future one? I couldn’t recall for sure. But this had me wondering if I had actually endured something like this myself in some other life, and if my soul, my higher self, had really approved of this. And that thought disturbed me, for it challenged my beliefs that I am protected no matter what, and that everything happens for a good reason and has a learning purpose. I couldn’t see the good nor the purpose in this situation. If such violence really had a teaching purpose, I then thought, it was a rather cruel lesson!

Even more disturbing to me was the thought that maybe I had been the one at fault causing her suffering, or that I had been at fault in some earlier life. Indeed, I was more comfortable seeing myself as the victim than as the tormentor. But, it seemed very unlikely to me that in all my lifetimes, I had always been as white as snow. Surely, I had experienced both sides, and maybe that is how I came to learn that violence has consequences and is not a proper response. I still felt guilts however, while thinking of what I may have done, and I wondered if it was really necessary to explore suffering and cruelty to come to such an understanding. Couldn’t there be other ways to learn this lesson? Was our teaching system that dark and cruel?

On these dark thoughts, I fell asleep again and I was to have, this time, a more lighthearted dream, quite possibly of a karmic nature as well, as if my higher self wanted to remind me that not everything I experienced was all that dark, and to give me elements of answer to help me understand better the purpose of this dream as well as that of the physical world.

July 4th, 2011 (2nd dream)
Eleventh floor
I am a lady’s maid accompanying a young woman wearing a chic vintage dress. I am also wearing a good quality dress, although a more sober looking one. I may be a servant, I think in the dream, but I know I am well considered and that to her, I am like a friend. I am more calm and reserved than she, who is quite outgoing, cheerful and also rather daring.

So all this time,as I was receiving these impressions, we were standing together… in a not-so-vintage elevator(:lol:) and now, we are quickly going up and up and up. At some point, the other woman suddenly stops the elevator, to have a peek at where we are. The doors open abruptly on the 10th floor. We see a large room, maybe a restaurant or a dining room decorated in a rich fashion. Large windows with vintage red velvet curtains open on a clear blue sky. An older lady comes in for a second, but for some reason, since we went up there so fast, the elevator is still shaking a little and we both find it funny… but that lady doesn’t, and she immediately goes out, apparently thinking that we are some crazy women!

We smile as she leaves and the doors close. We go up again. Then the elevator stops. This is as far as we go. I get some brief impressions linked to the number 11, the clock time 1:11 and/or 11:11 and that we have reached the eleventh floor. The other lady shows me another button and asks me if I want to try it. I say I do, and so the elevator now starts moving in a horizontal fashion, as if we were in a vehicule on the ground. (Oddly enough, I even recall seeing roads.) I suddenly remind her of an important dinner we have to attend. She tells me that we are on our way there, indeed, and that I need not to worry about it.

Karmic elements and quick growth
I woke up. For some reason, this intriguing dream had changed my mood and I now felt uplifted and refreshed. At the time, I thought that this dream, although quite anachronistic, had karmic elements and that once I had been a happy and fairly treated lady’s maid. I believe it is indeed possible that such genuine happy memories served as a frame to convey multiple layers of meaning at once. One of these could be that I had happy lives too.

Another one could refer to the relationship between my higher self - the soul (the other lady) and my current personality (the lady’s maid) regarding growth (the elevator). It makes sense to me that my current personality may be seen as `serving` my higher self, acting here in the physical on `her` behalf, so that `we` can learn from what `I` experience here. If this is correct, this would be the one and only time I pictured my higher self this way, as if it was used only this time precisely because this memory served best the multiple layers of meaning to convey.

As for the elevator, it could be a symbol of rapid growth. The fact that it was still shaking because we went up there so fast could refer to how I was still shaken up by the previous dream (and/or by previous difficult lives), but that this shake-up had the potential to make me move forward and grow faster. As for the eleventh floor, it is possible that it was linked to a specific plane and a subplane, but at the moment, I rather see it as symbolising a potential growth level to reach. In the I-Ching, eleven stands for peace, tranquility, harmony, and is symbolic of `rising above problems`.
http://www.psychic-revelation.com/reference/i_l/i_ching/hexagram11.html
http://www.paranormality.com/iching_11.shtml

One
Back then, I wasn’t sure if this dream had karmic elements and I knew not if this eleventh floor corresponded or not to a plane and subplane, but I knew what 1:11 and 11:11 meant to me… And this was very likely a third layer of meaning conveyed by this dream. Later on, I was to find out that it was a key to help me balance my perception and understanding of the physical world and its learning purpose. (See Ancient memories - Part III – Healing the shadow, coming soon…)

One, and by extension eleven, was to me (and still is) a symbol of unity, of union, especially the clock time 1:11 and 11:11. This mainly comes from a brief but beautiful experience I had once, as I was in bed, in some kind of spontaneous in-between state. I sensed beautiful feelings of love and `shared unity` which I felt were a sign of a loving presence with me, and to that presence I said outloud, in a semi-conscious state, something like ``I am still shy…`` and the rest of the sentence only resounded in my mind : ``…in my relationship to God (the Source, All that is, etc.)``. And for a moment, I `felt` a loving soothing light I briefly `saw` in my `head`(my mind’s eye?). When I looked at the clock then, it was 1:11.

Since then, every time I see 1:11 or 11:11 on the clock, I tend to think of this moment again, and sometimes I pause for a minute, and close my eyes, to briefly meditate on what it may really mean and feel like to be truly one with others, or even one with All…

(More to come :-))

[CFTraveler]

Thanks for the nigredo information poème. I just realized I'm working on this and because of external things, I hadn't noticed. ;)

[poème]

You are most welcome CF!
And it really pleased me to read your reply since this is precisely one of the reasons why I write these things :)

[Korpo]

Hello, poeme.

About the elevator experience - the reason you felt some relief and bliss after this experience might have been that the elevator actually represented yourself shifting to a higher plane. You experience this greater closeness to Source as joyful. The switch to the feeling of moving a vehicle could mean you switched to a higher vehicle of consciousness (hence the bliss) and then travelled with that vehicle on its own plane (the horizontal movement). The elevator represents the ability to shift between planes and subplanes at will and quickly (represented in the buttons). The car and streets represent and immersion within the plane - it becomes literally a plain you travel within and through.

Your wounded woman experience made me think of an experience that disturbed me maybe a year ago. I just wanted to say that I can relate, that's all.

Oliver

[poème]

Thank you Oliver for you insights about the elevator, especially about the horizontal switch, which makes a lot of sense! I am pretty sure I started experiencing a new energy body back then as I can think of other dreams I had at the time which really seem to support this, although I am not exactly sure when it happened... Maybe indeed, it was in that elevator dream...

[poème]

I had a very strange week, with unusual mood swings. Emotions would sometimes overflow, much more than usual. At times, I would feel high however, but then I would feel low again, longing for something missing, or for something to happen. One evening this week, a good friend and I went for a coffee, and I told him about how I felt, and how I wanted something new to happen, something uplifting. ``Like what ?`` he asked me. And I replied to him : ``I don’t know… Maybe a lucid dream?``

I haven’t had a classic lucid dream for what seems to me like a long time. Moreover, for a while now, I have been scarcely writing down my dreams since they seem rather non-linear and as a result, they tend to be hard to follow and to recall. Because of that, although my recall improves at times, when I really want to, I tend to find it hard to maintain an interest in my dreams. But that night, I was to have a pleasant surprise, as if somehow my higher self, and perhaps my guides also, had listened and had decided, lovingly, to grant my wish, while also delivering a deeper meaning and message for me to ponder on through this very clearly recalled lucid dream…

November 16th, 2011
I The theatre and the actors
I am seated next to a gentle man accompanying me to an ancient looking theatre, with the typical large red velvet curtain closing on the stage. We are attending an event meant to honor actors with awards of some kind. From my seat, I am glimpsing information about the nominees and see to my surprise an image of Robert Bruce…``I know him!``, I say to myself happily.;) However, I can’t seem to be able to fetch a date and figure out if he is, has been or will be a nominee. Shortly after, a winning actor is called to rise from his seat and I see a middle-age man standing up. I don’t know him at all.

Change of scene. We may be backstage. I see a distinguished Chinese lady with two make-up artists. I feel her as a dynamic and very busy person, although all the work she has doesn’t seem a burden to her. She tells me something about a small heart shaped tattoo she has on the inside of one of her wrists, which to her symbolises how, thanks to this arm, she can accomplish some simple yet still important things. (She actually named a few things but I forgot what they were. I simply recalled what they felt like.)

II Freedom
I then look away and I see a girl with long light brown hair and long flowing pale clothes. She is standing up on a swing, swinging dreamily. There is something calm and carefree about her, something bohemian. I compare her to the other lady, who seems to be so very different, and I wonder which one I’d rather be. Then I realize that I certainly feel more drawn toward the bohemian girl. She is more like I, and she seems so free… I suddenly see her from afar, with a new flowing light blue dress. She looks beautiful and serene. And now I am, like her, standing up on a swing whose cords seem to reach high up in the sky, and I swing high, dreamily, as I contemplate the bright blue sky and enjoy the sight of fluffy white clouds. I wrap myself in that timeless moment of happiness, and higher and higher I swing, until I realize that I am no longer on the swing but floating freely on my back in the sky, still watching the clouds.

At this point, I become lucid and realize I could go wherever I please. But where to? I have no idea, but decide to simply go…elsewhere, and faraway. Still floating on my back, with my arms stretched behind my head, in line with my body, I feel and control to some degree the surrounding air, which seems to propel me at a fair enough speed and I am impressed that I can actually move like that with such ease. I know it is not always the case. And so, in that fashion, I travel a short time.

III A stream in a peaceful land
Then I see peaceful valleys and small mountains, and I land in an intimate area, partly enclosed by rocks, where a small stream of clear spring water flows. I have a thought for one of my friends, who is into lucid dreaming and who often experiences WILDs with very convincing `physical` sensations. Out of curiosity, in order to experience how `convincing` physical sensations can be in this dream, I touch the water of the stream, and I feel it as wet and cold. I also notice how cool the air is. It is not uncomfortable, simply fresh, like pure mountain air. ``Quite realistic indeed`` I then think.

It seems like this was enough to satisfy my curiosity regarding that matter, for now my thoughts turn to my higher self and guides. I would like to have someone with me, as I see no point in exploring alone, with no one to share with. I wonder if I would be granted my wish to have someone with me if I were to ask, or if I were to say affirmations, like many do.

IV Encounter
To my great surprise and pleasure then, a kind-looking brown haired man about my age, who I had not noticed until then because of the rocks, appears between them and approaches me. I do not seem to think of him as a guide, or as someone I know well, but I don’t judge necessary to ask him his name. I simply say to him that we are both dreaming. I speak French at first, but then I switch to English, because somehow, I think that the odds of encountering a French speaker are slim. He doesn’t believe me that we are dreaming at first, but I insist. ``I’m from Canada, so how can I be here?`` I ask him, implying that I wouldn’t be so far away from my homeland if this wasn’t a dream. (:lol:)

V Darker lands
To show him that we really are dreaming, I then decide to bring him with me on a quick tour. I take his hand into mine and we start flying together. We later land on somewhat darker grounds. I see from afar dark waters behind small rocky hills, and from where we are, I even notice, oddly enough, a giant goldfish jumping out of this dark lake. I am not frightened but I sense how different in nature these surroundings are from the place we came from, and I feel that it would be better for us to leave. I take the young man’s hand in mine, and try flying away, but it is not as easy now as it had first been. In the dream, I think it may be that I lack focus, or that I feel some stress because of a small but somewhat annoying animal that keeps trying to get in my way when I run up in order to start flying. On this thought, and before we were able to fly away, I start losing the dream, and soon enough, I feel I am back in my body. I open my eyes.

I really hope this young man was a dream character, since I would feel kind of bad to learn that I actually left someone alone in that unwelcoming place (not a place one would first think of to bring a guest! :lol:). I’m really thinking, however, that he was either self-created, which would explain why I didn’t ask his name and why I can’t recall how he felt like as a person… Or that he was `real` but of a similar development (considering our similar age and where we met), in which case it is likely that he was capable of traveling back on his own.

One’s part in the Play
That said, the day before I had this dream, I had read chapter 21 from Seth Speaks telling how, in the physical, dramas are acted out by personalities who volunteer for a role. The chapter was actually about grand-scale dramas around religious themes, but I believe that we all play such roles, on a more or less grand scale and around various themes. And so, I had wondered what my part in the Play was.

In the dream, I was given to see that although I recognize my part as the dreamy bohemian, sometimes I go off the script. I try to do more than what is asked of me, as if I wanted to read someone else’s lines as well as mines, because I think I have to accomplish more and more… But do I really have to? In my recent tarot readings, I was warned that I was putting too much on my shoulders (10 of swords) and that it was not asked of me; balance was needed (Temperance), as well as time off to rest and ponder (4 of swords).
http://www.learntarot.com/cards.htm

Eau de Source
In the dream, as soon as I accepted my part as the dreamy bohemian, and knew that I’d rather be her, who was `more like I`, than the very busy Chinese lady, who I admired but whose focus was not that of my current personality, I blissfully enjoyed myself and felt free. In the context of this dream, this positive state of mind and the bright and peaceful surroundings seem to symbolise that as long as I accomplish my role, I can’t feel burdened, for it is what I am suited for, and that through doing so, I can be closer to the Source… Interestingly, in French, spring water is translated by eau de source, literally `source’s water`. To me, this may imply that when someone truly honors his or her part in the Play, however humble a part, then this personality may access that little Spark carried within, originating from the Source.

Away
When I brought with me the young man on a tour to prove him that what I said was true, it seems like I went off my script, and that we flew away from the Source then. The surroundings became somewhat darker as to picture this. Moreover, there was something preventing me from flying back to where we came from, and right now, I feel that my desire to accomplish more and to play someone else’s part may have been blocking my attempts to fly back. A desire working against my own good this is, for if I am to invest time and channel energy in directions others than mine, knowing that doing so is likely to be draining rather than fulfilling, then what will be left for the direction I am meant to focus on? Too much actually becomes not enough then.

Heart shaped tattoo
The Chinese lady may simply symbolise who I was aiming to be rather than who I am truly meant to be. But somehow I feel that she could also be an aspect of my higher self. She felt like more than I, capable of so much more, and yet she gently told me about the heart shaped tattoo on the inside of her wrist, which I feel may be a symbol of our link. This would make `me`, as my current personality, a small part of `her` indeed, like one of her arms. `I` then would be a tool through which `she` expresses a portion of `herself` focused in a specific direction in the physical…a tool like we all are meant to be.

And as she kindly meant to make me understand, through my current personality, she can accomplish things that she considers important… These things may seem small to me, but to her they are really not so… As if to her, nothing stemming from a true expression of the Self was too small.

And here, I couldn’t help but to be reminded of these words from a book called Talking with Angels*:
-Page 224-
``The measure is given: it is in you.
Not the size of the measure is important,
For the Divine fills all. If you fill your measure,
You become similar to the Divine. Only then.
(…)
You carry reward and punishment in yourselves.
In fulfilling your measure, you grow.
If not, you wither.``

It is only through fulfilling our measure that the Spark within may shine through us. This capacity to shine is given to all, regardless of how `far` one fared on the endless and non-linear path of spiritual development…
…In the context of time, within the caterpillar already lies the promise of a butterfly.
And behind the veil of time, the caterpillar is the butterfly.
__________________________
*Talking with Angels (http://books.google.fr/books?id=q8ImFNFxOtIC&lpg=PP1&dq="talking with angels"&pg=PP1#v=onepage&q&f=false) - English (free partial E-book)
*Dialogues avec l’ange (http://sd-2.archive-host.com/membres/up/66497693963381614/Dialogues_avec_lAnge.pdf) - French (free complete E-book)

[poème]

A few months back, I was growing concerned about an issue I would often brood over at the time: why was it that I couldn’t project anymore, like I used to? After my first experiences which had typically occured once a month for a little while, I felt I was now going through a long and disheartening dry spell.

One evening, I brought the question to my higher self and guides during a tarot session. In my first spread, 3 cards (http://www.learntarot.com/cards.htm) came out: 3 of cups (group bond, community), 6 of cups (the past, nostalgia) and The Fool as the main card. From how I see it now, the first cards mentionned were likely refering to how I was in the habit of dwelling on the past and comparing my experience with that of others, but needed not to, for like The Fool, I had my own unique path to follow. I needed to live in the now, be open and have faith in what was yet to come.

As this wasn’t entirely clear to me back then, I asked to be told more about the main card in another 3 cards spread. It confirmed that I was entering a new cycle and needed to move on, to let go of the past (8 of cups) and that patience and determination (the Strenght) would pay in the end (Judgement). So I went to bed appeased, with my faith restored, convinced that everything was for the best and that I would project again if it was to be a part of my experience again…And that very night, I was to have an interesting experience through the dream state with a background note on the topic…

The dream campus
September 6th, 2011
I Phasing
I am on a student campus, in a room I share with another woman. I am quietly lying on my bed when suddenly I realize that I see a classroom instead of what I should be seeing, and yet I know that at the moment, I am still lying on my bed in the campus room. The scope of what I can see is small at first, and I `look around`, carefully and slowly, so that I do not lose contact, and as I do so, I keep detailing in my mind everything I see: the bright and peaceful classroom, the students sitting at their desks, the female teacher in front of the class…Until I realize that I am now literally standing in the middle of that classroom, and perfectly visible, for the students now all look at me oddly! Thrilled by the opportunity to explore as much as I can now that I am finally out, I decide that I really have no time to lose and so, I happily leave right away the classroom without even apologizing for the interruption! :lol:

II Out!
Not that far from the classroom, I decide to take an elevator, in order to go as high as possible. Once inside, I am a little disappointed, as it seems like the highest floor available is only the 6th, while I remember that once, I went up to the 11th in an elevator. (See Eleventh floor from Ancient memories – Part II (http://www.astraldynamics.com.au/showthread.php?11748-Thematic-Dream-Journal&p=104757#post104757)) I push twice the button 6, and thrilled nevertheless, I start wondering where this is going to lead, and what this floor (or plane) is going to look like… The doors open, and well, I end up in a very normal-looking bright and neat large area, part of a building, where people only seem to pass by. I see large stairs and decide to go down one floor. Everything is realistic enough and as I look around, for some reason, I am reminded of one of my friends, who told me that once in a lucid release dream, he started pushing away everyone who happened to be on his way; he felt it was ok since he knew they were not real. ``But here it is different`` I tell myself, ``These people are real, so I ought to behave…My guides may be watching.`` I think, jokingly.

III Ennui
As I walk around in that not-so thrilling building, I start wondering if something interesting is going to happen this time… Will I meet someone like in previous projections? Will I be able to offer my help, like that time when I met a man imprisoned in the wall? However, nothing really seems to be happening, and the excitement I had at the beginning is now wearing off. I realize that I don’t take such a great pleasure in exploring only for the sake of exploring, and that I am really much more interested in people. And so, I start thinking about a loved one, and then also about a fellow student from the dream campus, and how it would be so much more interesting if one of them was here with me… On this thought, I notice a small boutique, and sense a scent coming from this boutique that I am strangely drawn to… I walk toward it, but I start losing the visuals then, and the next thing I know, I am back on my bed, in the dream campus room.

IV Back in the student room
On the bed, there are small black buttons oddly scattered out of their pouch (the odd unexplained detail), and more importantly, a MP3 player. I look at it and think I probably fell asleep or in trance while listening to music or meditating on it. On the side table next to my bed, I notice I managed to spill water from a glass, although I can’t recall how and when. Some pocket student books are soaked and my roommate is really mad and making a scene. I’m fine with it, even amused, as I seem to know her fiery temper well enough to tell that it will quickly pass… But at the moment, she is angry enough to spill more water on the side table, completely intentionally.``I am not going to clean that`` I tell her calmly. Without a word, she then wipes up all the water, still somewhat angrily. I then remember I just had a projection, and so I leave the room, hoping to find a quieter place to write down all the details before I forget about them...

The dream continues then, but the content really becomes off topic at this point, as it rather seems to deal with karmic issues, so I will keep the veil on this part…at least for now!

Interestingly, through the phasing experience, whether it was simulated or not, I was brought to understand one more thing on the topic. My core desire was clearly exposed when I started losing interest in the projection: I simply want to interact with others, to learn from them, to be of help. And deep inside, it may be that I do not really mind whether I do this through a `normal` dream, a lucid dream or some other type of more `classic` projections. In other words, what I thought I wanted so much (a `classic` projection - in my terms) wasn’t actually what I truly desired and needed. And although I certainly enjoy reading other member’s adventures (;)), like The Fool I have my own star to follow, my own dreams to pursue…

…That doesn’t mean I was done projecting however!
I actually had a few short experiences afterwards, now that I was more detached (no longer comparing and not as much dwelling on the past!) I even had two of them in December, one of which was this short but interesting one I want to share… Just for the sake of sharing :)

Full Moon
December 16, 2011
I am lying in bed in the darkness of my bedroom, thinking and being overly hard on myself, when suddenly I start feeling hard-to-describe energy sensations. Thinking it may be my higher self or a guide, I ask, still feeling sorry about myself, how I could overcome this fault of mine, and I start feeling more energy sensations, as if I was being gently pulled out of my body, bottom-up. Then I feel like someone is making my body roll over in the bed. It makes me laugh softly, as, well, it is kind of funny, and it brightens my mood. It feels like I am kindly being teased, and as I wonder, amused, who is doing this, I catch on… I used this rolling movement to get out of body before, and so I continue on my own, and roll over until I end up on the floor. I notice how smooth my fall felt, thinking that it would have hurt much more normally. ``Very typical of an outing`` I think.

Oddly enough, I can’t see in front of me since my hair is apparently covering my face. I have a thought for the helping hand who aided me to exit. ``Could I see you?`` I ask, feeling all daring for asking. I pull my hair back and…I see nothing but the soft darkness of my bedroom. I am not really surprised nor very disappointed, as I wasn’t convinced I was to have any answer when I asked in the first place.

The next thing I know, I am on my bed, looking through the window over the bedhead, and I firmly believe I am awake, done with the projection. The peaceful night scenery I look at has not much to do with what I would normally see, but this completely eludes me. I look at the full moon and for a second find it strange, since I remember seeing the full moon a couple nights ago. It shouldn’t be full now… ``But maybe my memory is simply playing tricks on me.`` I think. Lucid dreaming literature then crosses my mind. ``Am I dreaming? Am I dreaming?`` I ask myself dreamily, though not very convinced I may actually be dreaming: I am so sure I am awake! And so, as I gaze at the full moon, I suddenly lose the visuals and then realize, amused, that I am lying in bed, and that now I am really awake! :lol:

It does not seem to me that I was answered how I could overcome that fault of mine I had felt so sorry about earlier. I believe I was actually pulled out of body so that I stop hurting myself like that. It felt as if I was told it was all ok, and that I was giving this way too much importance. In the end, this short outing did lift my mood, and also served as a reminded that I had to be more understanding toward myself. We are often so hard on ourselves…

That said, I like to think that, although I didn’t get to see who was with me then, I was given a clue to find out who it was… This full moon anecdote sounded very familiar, indeed. Once before, during a short outing in the living room of my former apartment (See An eventful night! (http://www.astraldynamics.com.au/showthread.php?11748-Thematic-Dream-Journal&p=96903#post96903)), I had also gazed at a full moon, and found it strange, since I was so sure I had only seen a quarter earlier that night in the physical. The person accompanying me back then, had said it was always a full moon…

I have wondered many times why he had said that, so it was only natural that I would easily link to one another both full moon episodes… And to this teacher who had been accompanying me then :)
__________________________
A helping thread (http://www.astraldynamics.com.au/showthread.php?12686-why-after-12-years-my-obes-stopped) on the topic that was brought, coincidentally, by another member of the forum at the time.

[Sinera]

I am reminded of one of my friends, who told me that once in a lucid release dream, he started pushing away everyone who happened to be on his way; he felt it was ok since he knew they were not real. ``But here it is different`` I tell myself, ``These people are real, so I ought to behave…My guides may be watching.
Sorry, I don't want to come across too harsh now, but is your friend more of the materialist kind? Many who do project describe it as lucid dreaming (for me it's the same anyway, but that's another topic now). Also, many of them might be under the influence of fear and therefore wishing it all to be 'not real', just like they are playing a personal mind video game "in their heads" at night. That is why some of them behave in ego shooter manner in the non-physical. It is also a kind of "God-Mode"-feeling ("Wow, I'm in control and can do anything I feel like now!").

I believe, however, that this lucid behaviour (no matter if based on fear, hedonism, a certain belief system / fixed paradigm) hinders personal spiritual progress.
I think we should always try to 'behave' even though it might be simulations or created thought forms we deal with (which we can often never really be too certain of) because even they are created for a reason and have their own "reality" - as every single thought actually has.

Yes, when I remember dreams from years ago, I can say that I also behaved badly in dreams in former times occasionally, which was before I started to go on my deliberate spiritual path from 2009 on. Recently I see some progress with me, as even in my "normal" dreams (="un"conscious / dream state) I seem to 'remember' to behave more calmly (or rather: do so naturally) - which I assume to be a seep-through ("puncture"?) of my conscious (higher?) self making me 'behave myself' in ANY situation.

An exception might be specific dream scenarios (simulations) where some emotional capsules ("emocaps" - as I call them now) are opened and experienced. I experienced anger, fear and recently depression (the latter being by far the worst I can tell!). But it seems that "emocaps" are a kind of almost therapeutic measure performed by my sub- or superconscious to work through some area that need mending or further to be worked on. Sometimes it is also a warning. But this leads to far offtopic now.

Anyway, maybe you could have a chat with your friend to make him aware of this, maybe let him talk to the 'person figures' and learn sth from them instead of pushing them? ;)

[Korpo]

Hello, poeme.

Kurt associates the 6th chakra with lucidity and with the 6th subplane of a plane. Seems you achieved lucidity and then went to the associated plane - elevators often represent subplane changes.

The interesting thing is that as you asked for a more purposeful experience, you were drawn to it. You identify that sense with scent - which is interesting if you think about it. I think you were actually drawn to a simulation, and that's why you suddenly found yourself in a campus bed - a place both related to study and night time. This might be a hint that this is indeed a simulation.

[poème]

Hi Volgerle, I can feel you mean well, so no worries...

I can understand why you were led to see my friend this way since I mentionned this anecdote only too briefly and out of its whole context, however no, he doesn’t have fear or control issues, nor he is a materialist or an hedonist, which are not necessarily bad things in my opinion anyway… For instance, I read somewhere, probably in a Seth book, that a soul may want to explore a series of more simple and down-to-earth lives focused on the senses and the material side of life in order to bring balance, as opposed to a series of lives focused on spiritual and/or intellectual pursuits… And well, there is no time at the soul level, so if I understand it well, there is no real `order` here. To learn how to enjoy it here, without excess, is an important lesson… Well, I’m sure you are with me on that one, so maybe I’m just babbling :)

That said, my friend and I did have a discussion regarding this dream before… We are very close and although our beliefs do differ, we talk very openly about these things. I tell him things I wouldn’t even dare to write here. We also had another chat yesterday, and we both thought your post raised interesting questions. (He’s okay with what you wrote by the way, although he doesn’t entirely share your beliefs… He’s a very open minded guy, so it’s all good!)

I tend to think, more like you, that we should behave and that distinct entities may show up in lucid dreams as well as `classic` astral projections (in non-lucid dreams too in my opinion). He believes his dreams are mostly his own creations, his personal space in which he may vent or release unexpressed emotions if needed. That said, I do believe he was indeed in his personal space in this lucid dream I was refering too. What I should have mentionned was that he didn’t start pushing away people out of deliberate agressivity. He said he was running, pursing something important, and he felt he had to make his way quickly. He also felt it was ok to do so : perhaps somehow he knew he was in his personal space and he knew these dream characters were self created. And I would agree on the lather. They were faceless, with no real depht, and none of these characters actually reacted when pushed away.

It is true however that we could debate whether it is ethical or not to behave toward self created characters in a manner we wouldn’t in the physical toward living persons like you and I. Some would say it is perfectly alright and much healthier and ethical to vent in the dream state than doing so in the physical or turning the unexpressed emotions against oneself. Some others would say it is unethical no matter what the circusmtance is. And yet (and this is another interesting angle) some of these would see it ethical if the dream characters involved were bad guys or monsters… Then again, others would say that a dream character is a dream character, regardless of the shape given.

We could also debate on what is to be considered ethical; based on which culture, which time period, which belief system? The question is interesting : maybe it would make an interesting thread in itself ;)

[poème]

Hello, poeme.

Kurt associates the 6th chakra with lucidity and with the 6th subplane of a plane. Seems you achieved lucidity and then went to the associated plane - elevators often represent subplane changes.

The interesting thing is that as you asked for a more purposeful experience, you were drawn to it. You identify that sense with scent - which is interesting if you think about it. I think you were actually drawn to a simulation, and that's why you suddenly found yourself in a campus bed - a place both related to study and night time. This might be a hint that this is indeed a simulation.

That's a very interesting intake... Surely, you know also what he associates with the 5th chakra regarding this? (I went down one floor at some point, so I was on the fifth at the end.)

If I understand you well, the dream part following the return to the campus could have been a simulation I was drawn to? The interesting thing regarding that matter is that I then met with this person (unknown to me in the physical) I had actually thought of when I started wishing I was accompanied... And this person was wounded, like the wounded man emprisonned in the wall I had also thought of in that part of the `dream.`

It makes me wonder if the whole `phasing` experience could have been a simulation too, as a mean to make me understand what my real motivations and needs are. It makes sense to me at the moment since it started and ended in the campus room, associated with study as you say...

[Korpo]

Sounds good to me. :)

[Korpo]

1st chakra, sense of being in a new state of consciousness or body, nothing else, no sense of place
2nd chakra, sense of being in a space, but no ability to perceive it or move around in it
3rd chakra, ability to move within a space, but not necessarily to perceive it
4th chakra, ability to sense the presence of other nonphysical beings and distinguish between them by function
5th chakra, ability to communicate with other nonphysical beings
6th chakra, coordinates inner sense impressions to create the experience of being in a virtual nonphysical environment, including startlingly clear visuals (though these may be representations of non-space non-time oriented environments in imagery derived from the physical reality)
7th chakra, allows you to transcend the perceptual biases of the body you're in so you can transfer your focus of consciousness to the next higher energy body

Charles also once explained to me that the 5th chakra alone is like reading a poem, hearing the words, but not have an understanding what it means. Analysis and understanding derive from the 6th chakra. The 6th chakra is also needed in translating nonphysical experiences and communication to physical plane imagery we can understand. That's probably why the visuals are clearer when it's active. The interaction of the 5th and 6th can be the start of decoding ROTEs/energy information packets.

In "Music and the Soul" Kurt also explains that the 5th chakra is involved with social interaction. He associates the 5th chakra with dance music, the element of tempo in music (especially faster tempi that are considered upbeat) and the transmission of lifestyles and other social values and norms.

[poème]

Oh yes, I had read that list before ;)
For some reason, I thought you were refering to another one… I’m glad you reminded me of it however... I had not yet fully realized how the 5th level of this `dream` building, and what I longed for in this part of my experience, stick amazingly well with was is linked to the 5th chakra: communication and social interaction!

What you explained about the interactions between the 5th and the 6th chakra also speak to me when I think of how my dreams became so hard to follow and unclear after a period of much clearer dreams. It was really as you say : I would sometimes recall things but it was as if I didn’t understand them or couldn’t say what linked these things to one another, and it was really hard to put elements recalled into words in my dream journal… Perhaps the 6th chakra of this developping body wasn’t online then… It would explain this strange lack of understanding.

On a positive note, I think my dream recall, and my understanding of elements recalled, are improving now. There may still be much room for improvement, but I find it encouraging to realize that this drop in recall and understanding may actually be a sign of progress :)

[poème]

As I child, I enjoyed school much and often had good grades. At the threshold of teenagehood however, I started growing concerned about other’s perception of me, and I started feeling that others didn’t like those who stand out, especially not when it comes to good grades. Those were considered nerds and were left apart. And I didn’t want to be left apart; I wanted to be accepted and loved. And so, I would make sure not to study nor work hard so that I would have bad grades. Moreover, whenever I would get a bad grade, I would oddly spread the word about it, to let others know that I was `no better than they were`. ``Wow, you got a B! As for myself, I found that exam so difficult: I got a D!`` To my shame and dislike then, yet luckily for me, the teacher took me apart one day to discuss about this… I wasn’t open to discussion, but simply telling me he had noticed my behavior and expected a change was enough, for thanks to him, I stopped `aiming for bad grades` shortly afterwards.

A friend’s helping hand
Last week, a good friend sent me a link to a French radio show he had listened to. He said he recognized me much in it and that surely, it would give me food for thought. I listened to it, and indeed, it was my portrait, and the portrait of that girl who was aiming for bad grades to be accepted by others. It was the portrait of persons who feel different, marginalized, typically very sensitive, and easily hurt by how they feel they are perceived, who therefore try hard to fit in and be accepted. To do so, they choose to tone down their true self, what makes them different, what makes them stand out, as they believe differences can set one apart and make others uncomfortable, and they don’t want that. Yet by doing so, they shut inward their own light. The solution may seem easy then, but for one who has been caught in such a web of thinking patterns for years, it actually takes much work to free oneself from it, and much courage to dare to be different, to allow oneself to shine, may it be only to one’s own eyes.

Opening up has been an ongoing theme in my life for years, and interestingly, recent events all seemed to conspire to help me reveal myself more. Firstly, there was this radio show, but more was to come later on that day, as my friend was to write me another email to tell me about a dream he had had about me that night, very clearly referring to my reluctance to reveal myself…

The luggage (My friend’s dream)
March 18, 2012
We are on our way to give a French lesson to someone important, either the prime minister (Canada) or the president (United States). While we are walking on the street to go to his place, security officers stop us to control our luggage. It is a normal procedure, given the circumstances. My friend open his luggage without any problem; he brought his dictionnaries, etc. But when my turn comes, I become very strange, suddenly very closed, as if I didn’t want to show what was in my luggage, which is even padlocked. My friend doesn’t understand why I am behaving this way, and he is almost upset about it : ``We are only going to give a French lesson… It’s not like she is carrying lingerie or anything ambarrassing!``

Whether I am comfortable with it or not, it is mandatory to show the content of my luggage, and when the responsible asks me what it is that I am carrying, I answer timidly ``juste des petits jeux`` (just little games). From what my friend understands in the dream, these are educational games to teach French. He wakes up.


The issue…
When I am asked what I did during the weekend and I don’t want to say that I have been meditating, holding a tarot session, writing my dreams, reading and pondering about spirituality, and so on (not that all I do is so-oriented! ;)), I typically give an answer very similar to the one I gave to the dream security agent: ``des petites affaires tranquilles`` (quiet little things), which is true in a sense, but quite diminishing, as if I wasn’t comfortable with that side of myself, as if I was ambarrassed to reveal that I do these things and that I can even be good at it, and as if it was all too personal, too intimate (like lingerie) to reveal. Yet in the dream, I was clearly carrying nothing to be ambarrased about and nothing too personal to reveal.

That said, it’s really not the first time that a message for me is delievered through one of my friend’s dreams. I like to think that my higher self and guides agree -or conspire (:lol:)- with my friend’s higher self to do this when the message is important and don’t get through, or when they want to put emphasis on it, or simply want me and my friend to discuss the issue, as whenever my friend dreams about me, he tells me, and this is usually a prelude to a long and rich conversation in which we work out each other’s issues, which we did later on that night when we talked on the phone.

…And the solution
So in this dream, I feel I was shown what the issue was so that I could work it out with my friend, but there was more to that lesson, as interestingly, our conversation was to be followed by these meaningful dreams of my own I was to have that very night, which would each have a different purpose toward the same goal: freeing myself from what holds me back to let my own light shine.

A walk on the beach
March 19, 2012
I walk on a beach along the sea under a bright blue sky. It is warm, and I should be wearing something more appropriate for the beach and the weather. I think of a bikini, yet I seem to think that it would be way too revealing! I come to a compromise then, it seems, as I am now wearing a beautiful two pieces beach set of fine and lightweight white natural fabric. Not too covering, not too revealing. I feel very good and free, and as I walk lightheartedly on the beach, I see `my mother` sitting dreamily on a picnic table near the sea, wearing a beach dress of the same fabric. I notice how good she seems to feel too. A man is around also at this point. One I know and trust. (Quite possibly a guide.) I notice that my legs already have a little tan. ``The sun is strong!`` I tell them both lightheartedly ``Our skin will be tanned in no time!``

This dream seems to be inviting me to reveal more, but it seems like it’s fine to draw a line somewhere, and that I don’t have to walk around with no clothes on…like some do with perfect ease in very formal office settings! ;) That said, it was also as if I was given the chance to experience ahead how good it would feel to open up, to free myself a little more from my fear to step in my greatness. It felt so good it was a sure thing I would long to free myself more, just like in the dream.

Homeworks
And as if this wasn’t enough, this dream was to be followed by another one, on the same night, which was sure to push me forward in the physical. I was going to be given `homeworks` to try out this freedom I longed for...
(More to come!)

[Korpo]

It seems to me, on first glance, that your dream about the beach put it all in relation - you, the other people, and the Source (sun). By exposing a certain degree you feel free. That's union. (Also present in the presence of others in the scene.) By revealing not too much, you feel safe. That's identity. When you find a good balance between these qualities for yourself, you develop a healthy relationship with the Source, which you feel as positive, comforting and attractive (a tan is considered attractive, warm sunlight is comfort).

[Korpo]

PS - one of the keys of this "exposure" is who you expose your true self to. This is essentially a question of trust, but also the other needs to be able to understand you, making him or her your spiritual peer (represented by the man you trust) or spiritual family (represented by 'your mother').

Finding people that we are comfortable with in this intimate way, exposing ourselves and finding acceptance in such acts of trust, is an essential part of finding a home in this world. The value and worth of friendships of this kind is beyond measure, as they also increase our ability to accept our true selves and encourage us to bring forth into the world all those radiant qualities associated with it (again represented in the sun and the tan).

Sometimes people grow resentful that their true self seems to find no acceptance, especially early in life, giving the feeling of being different that can be quite frightening, making us adopt false self behavior in defense. Acceptance is a strong motivator in life, and non-acceptance can sometimes even be experienced as threatening to our very existence.

The problem is that we cannot chose whom to interact with early in life. There might always be a friend, a relative or one of the parents that seem so much better at getting us than any other around, but since this seems so isolated in comparison, it raises doubt. This experience, which is essentially the trauma of not being seen and accepted, needs to be healed later.

Non-acceptance seems so threatening because we feel the echoes of our memories from the other side, where we were always seen, always heard and never suffered the full extent of the illusion of ever being separate from Source. The challenge is bigger on this side of the veil, but the way out is not simply back, though we can find acceptance and love with our spiritual support team as well. We also need to anchor ourselves in this world by finding the true love of the shared experience of friendship, be it with our peers, our partners or parts of our family. Instead of blaming those that cannot see us we need to find and value those that can.

Ironically we are always afraid of someone seeing us as we are, feeling the traumatic beliefs of non-acceptance arise in us and challenge our loveability. When we take that step, when we find a true friend, suddenly it comes as a huge relief and the precise opposite of our belief comes to pass - we find that it is okay to be who we are, to feel as we do and to show ourselves as we are.

The trap is to assume we can do that with everyone. As children growing up in this world we don't know better and we get hurt, burned by bad experience. Withdrawal and bitterness can result, but they are our reactions. Overcoming these reactions and advancing trust to the right people is one of the spiritual challenges on the path, and it isn't easy. I just wanted to emphasize, however, that this challenge is doable and the rewards for doing so are great.

I largely preach to the converted here, though. The bond of trust you find with your friend is already pointing in the right direction, and the dream you had is mostly confirmation. Your "homework" may just be to do the work required to find this "home" on the physical plane more often.

[poème]

Hey :)
Thanks for both your replies. There is a lot of food for thought in both. I have too little time to reply properly this morning, but I want to come back and add more thoughts on what you said as soon as I can!

[poème]

I was really pleased to read your insights on the beach dream, as I was able then to put together several more pieces of the puzzle. It suddenly made so much sense. What you say seems consistent with my recent tarot readings and a few dreams I had lately pointing out to a preparation time, and a gradual learning, in relationship to a spiritual union, as if I was learning, little by little, how to build more inner strenght and confidence (a stronger identity, in your words) and how to free myself from what binds me as well as ties from the past, precisely so that I may eventually, and gradually, experience the Source closer (union, in your words).

As for your –very long! :lol: – post scriptum, I agree completely that its is very important to find persons whom we trust to whom we feel we can reveal our true self, and that such relationships are to be treasured. I do feel very blessed to have a wonderful `support team`, on this side of the veil, as well as on the other... I also agree that there would be no use to open up entirely, all of a sudden, to someone who is not likely to be receptive to such a download of information. I found however that people are often more receptive than we think they are, and that when I test the waters, when I open the door slightly, I often come to find common grounds I would have never guessed were there otherwise. So, revealing our true self gradually, one layer at a time, is also a key, as I see it now.

I find the dynamic slightly different when it comes to group settings. This is actually what I struggle most with. We can choose the type of environment we want to work in for instance, but we don’t exactly choose our co-workers. We can choose to study in a field where like-minded people are likely to be found, but we don’t choose every single person we study with. Yet we will have to expose ourselves to all of them, as a group, to some extent, and so expose ourselves to acceptance as well as non-acceptance. This is actually, for me, a more difficult area than intimate relationships. I may feel within a strong impulse to share something but then keep myself from doing so because I am concerned about being misunderstood or judged…by a few hypothetical persons. It can be really binding. It may seem strange but I feel I am actually learning to expose myself to both acceptance and non-acceptance, and that non-acceptance is actually not a threath to who I am… And when I forget so, loved ones are there to remind me so :)