Awareness

[White_Raven]

Hi everyone,

I'm new here to this forum, but I'll just jump right in here.

I had my kundalini awakening some 30 years ago. For many years I've lived with an intense metaphysical awareness, and sensitivity to many things. For the most part it has been fine and not unsettling. I've been blessed by a propensity to gravitate toward light and positive energy, and am generally a positive and peaceful person. I've been very private about my inner experiences, and they have not worried me, I've just gone on with my path letting kundalini do its work and growing. Obviously though a kundalini awakening is a peak experience there is a lot of growing from there to be done. It is just the beginning, not the end, that's an error I think people make in understanding why it is not easy, why it doesn't solve everything.

Somehow over the last six months I seem to have experienced a leap in awareness. I have never been the most keen observer in the world, and often my positive nature will cause me to see only the beauty in things. However somehow in my process, I have felt my mind expanding, and I find myself observing discrepancies and seeing issues and corrective work that must be done. Details at work and at home, and everywhere. When I try to communicate, I am finding other people not aware of what I am noticing, and I feel like I am in the twilight zone. It has been noted by others with active kundalini, that sometimes one can feel difficulty in expressing thoughts and feelings. I relate to this presently, and I think now it is partly because one is so aware of what they are expressing, that they find words themselves problematical or inadequate. I think also in the case of trying to describe spiritual ideas, thoughts that seem simple on an inner level often turn out to be completely beyond the power of words to express.

Besides the twilight zone effect, the heightened attentiveness to discrepancies causes a kind of mental ache. Pressure builds up in my third eye region, when I am concentrating on something intently like a book for long periods. When I exercise, it seems to help. I am wondering if anyone can relate to this, the wide awake mind that keeps picking up on everything, and if so, what's good way to turn it down a bit and let it flow through.

[CFTraveler]

Hi White Raven.
'Meta Awareness' can be problematic to convey, but it does get easier, and at some point you will be able to express yourself better. Just don't try to make it happen, let it all unfold as it goes, is all I can say.

[psionickx]

For many years I've lived with an intense metaphysical awareness, and sensitivity to many things.


I've been very private about my inner experiences, and they have not worried me, I've just gone on with my path letting kundalini do its work and growing.


Obviously though a kundalini awakening is a peak experience there is a lot of growing from there to be done. It is just the beginning, not the end, that's an error I think people make in understanding why it is not easy, why it doesn't solve everything.


When I exercise, it seems to help


Believe in yourself.

[White_Raven]

psionickx,

Wow, thank you. You are right. In fact, I've known that greater awareness is only partly about perceiving a longer view. A lot of it is about trusting to my own reasoning and intuitive processes, instead of taking many false appearances and generally accepted notions as the gospel of truth of what the world looks like. The lesson is about trust in me. Thanks so much. I needed to have that one bounced right back to me. :D

[psionickx]

had my kundalini awakening some 30 years ago

:wink:

[farewell2arms]

psionickx,

Wow, thank you. You are right. In fact, I've known that greater awareness is only partly about perceiving a longer view. A lot of it is about trusting to my own reasoning and intuitive processes, instead of taking many false appearances and generally accepted notions as the gospel of truth of what the world looks like. The lesson is about trust in me. Thanks so much. I needed to have that one bounced right back to me. :D

Dude, I hear you. I'm at the exact same spot.

If you can't trust yourself to follow, how can you trust god to lead you? A lesson I was recently taught...



Somehow over the last six months I seem to have experienced a leap in awareness. I have never been the most keen observer in the world, and often my positive nature will cause me to see only the beauty in things. However somehow in my process, I have felt my mind expanding, and I find myself observing discrepancies and seeing issues and corrective work that must be done. Details at work and at home, and everywhere. When I try to communicate, I am finding other people not aware of what I am noticing, and I feel like I am in the twilight zone.

I say, consider the lesson taught when you notice. Notice that what needs to be done, and leave it be. Struggling only tends to make matters worse. At least for me. As the observer, your role is to see the beauty and completeness in things.

I too feel like in the twilight zone. Sometimes my peers seem to ignore me completely. If it's because my personality has changed or if it's because I am unconsciously sending out bad vibes I don't know, but the only thing I can do about that is coping. Cause I can only change myself, I can't change them.

Cheers,

John

[White_Raven]

Dude, I hear you. I'm at the exact same spot.

If you can't trust yourself to follow, how can you trust god to lead you? A lesson I was recently taught...

I say, consider the lesson taught when you notice. Notice that what needs to be done, and leave it be. Struggling only tends to make matters worse. At least for me. As the observer, your role is to see the beauty and completeness in things.

Thanks - we must be in the same place, that's what I've been thinking - give it to God. Tasks, gifts, lessons, who else but God wants it to be used for the good and is only giving me my share of the bounty. But I had not thought of it in terms of trust. I like that very much. Yes, I am struggling with some challenges now, a lot of it has to do with my job moving me to a country that is not easy to live in. I think my K has upped my awareness and is trying to find solutions, and eventually they will come to pass. The struggle is not futhering the cause. The solution is ahead anyway :-)


I too feel like in the twilight zone. Sometimes my peers seem to ignore me completely. If it's because my personality has changed or if it's because I am unconsciously sending out bad vibes I don't know, but the only thing I can do about that is coping. Cause I can only change myself, I can't change them.

My experience has been, that people are quiet when truth comes up and they want to avoid the work involved. Truth means change. I think perhaps, we humans have brought a lot of that on ourselves. Truth means change, to go back to the truth, for us sometimes. Noticing is a good sign. The solution is in the future. We will get there. That's why we need to be where we are now, and trust in the divine path.

[White_Raven]

had my kundalini awakening some 30 years ago

:wink:

30 years of glorious, divine love. Nice to think that though the body is finite, divine love is everlasting. Shakti bliss. Couldn't come on a better day. :D

[mysteec77]

Hi White_Raven,

I too am new to this forum and appreciate your post greatly. I had experience a huge spiritual turmoil in my life 9 years ago which lasted nearly a year (I suspect it was Kundalini experience) . I did not know what it was, but after the war within myself in which I felt like every mental aspect of my being was trying to rip each other apart, I finally felt whole (I took a whole week off work just to enjoy the peace and quiet, and told my husband to get lost :lol: ). The physical world became much more beautiful and I saw more things which previously I had only sensed. My life completely changed, and finally started going in a positive direction (got the nerve to finally get divorced etc :mrgreen: ).

However about 18 months ago I started experiencing exactly what you have described, having a very very difficult time communicating thoughts, processes, etc and it has affected my work. I have tried fighting through it, rethinking, rewriting, bouncing my thoughts off colleagues, and became extremely frustrated. Before building cohesion within project teams was a strong suit of mine. I have been told I only see things in black and white, and do not communicate ideas clearly on a regular basis, whereas in my personal life I have started meeting the most fascinating, positive, happy individuals, purely by chance, such as a practicing Druid and a Shufu master. They have been very helpful counseling me, and have helped me keep my job. With ideas such as type your email, let it sit, and reread it before sending. Plus sometimes its better to keep to yourself at work until your energy centers. The best piece of advise they gave is SLOW DOWN your thoughts before speaking!!

I like you would like to turn down the wisdom and energy being received. It is FINALLY :D starting to somewhat even out but unfortuately like you the twilight zone lingers, at times it is very difficult communicating an awesome idea I see. Lately if I cannot see a way to simplify the idea enough, I just don't bother communicating it to my co-workers. Because of the drastic change in my thought processes, or perhaps I put out too strong of an energy vibe, they avoid me like the plague, and treat my ideas as suspect (definately feel invisible). My hope is one of the two face to face interviews will pan out :D .

My friends and family feel my current job has been nothing but negative since I started there 4 years ago, and it is time for change. I suspect if you are patient, and work hard to remain on the positive side wonderful things are in your future. Believe in yourself!!! I wish I had taken a step back sooner, and had not tried to force the energy to center. It brought nothing but misery.

[White_Raven]

Mysteec 77,

A beautiful day to you :-) By the way, I also am a lover of Emerson.

Before my kundalini awakening, in my teen years, I used to say things like "God only gives you what you can handle". I know that I sent out huge, thunderous requests to the universe to grant me the grace of seeing the answers to the greatest questions. I asked for the kundalini process, and it truly has been good to me. There is nothing more valuable to me than living in consciously in the awareness of divine love.

Those who do not want to see the wisdom we are receiving because our channel is open, didn't ask. Things that gel in our minds from that space, are beautiful, whole, and complete on so many levels, because they are divine. Getting those kinds of things into words and into someone else's headspace is not necessary and often futile. The best way to share a tremendous spiritual insight is often in something as simple as a hug.

My twilight zone area is getting that lesson in terms of awareness of everyday things in my professional life and at home. I have grown mentally lately - even my math skills have improved. Recently it caused me to realize at work that an assessment formula we’ve been using is incorrect, and I was confounded that the big boss, completely ignored the discovery. Colleagues, and my husband, are treating me like my notice of something obsolves them from doing anything connected with it. My k is building up – holding energy and working hard at fussy matters, and my K is asking me for a break – letting me know that awareness is not an assignment! My trouble recognizing that my beautiful, happy process is the same kundalini that causes people many difficulties was "no physical effects" - until huge responsibility at work some years ago caused the base of my spine to actually hum and buzz! I have had some wonderful graces since my first post, good thoughts, good energy, good reminders. And now I have had some from you, about slowing down, writing first drafts, and giving it time. I see now that I need to not be duped when the emperor isn't wearing any clothes in the lastest twilight zone episode...Kundalini doesn’t act up when I share only a hug out of a spiritual insight – it does act up, when I do more than my part. I think it’s as John said – my part is done when I’ve noticed! ;-)

[ButterflyWoman]

I've been blessed by a propensity to gravitate toward light and positive energy, and am generally a positive and peaceful person.
This is, indeed, a blessing. Those who have a lot of negative thought patterns and habits of belief tend to have a much more difficult time of it, from what I've seen (and experienced directly). Negative beliefs tend to generate some pretty horrific blockages, to say the least.

(Side note: Negative and positive are purely subjective, and entirely dependent on context and framework, but in this case, there's no other way to describe it, so I'm using those words. Words are clumsy tools.)


Obviously though a kundalini awakening is a peak experience there is a lot of growing from there to be done. It is just the beginning, not the end, that's an error I think people make in understanding why it is not easy, why it doesn't solve everything.
YES. Absolutely.


Somehow over the last six months I seem to have experienced a leap in awareness.
Me, too, actually. Interesting. I wonder if there's a trend. I don't believe in coincidences, so I assume there's some synchronicity there.


I have felt my mind expanding, and I find myself observing discrepancies and seeing issues and corrective work that must be done. Details at work and at home, and everywhere. When I try to communicate, I am finding other people not aware of what I am noticing, and I feel like I am in the twilight zone. It has been noted by others with active kundalini, that sometimes one can feel difficulty in expressing thoughts and feelings.
Oh, yes. Yes. I call that "speaking martian". You speak, thinking you're being completely clear, and it gets misunderstood or ignored or worse, or they just stare at you blankly like you've suddenly grown an extra head. Very frustrating.


I think now it is partly because one is so aware of what they are expressing, that they find words themselves problematical or inadequate. I think also in the case of trying to describe spiritual ideas, thoughts that seem simple on an inner level often turn out to be completely beyond the power of words to express.
Absolutely. I am so there.


Besides the twilight zone effect, the heightened attentiveness to discrepancies causes a kind of mental ache. Pressure builds up in my third eye region, when I am concentrating on something intently like a book for long periods.
Oh, yes, yes, yes. I get so mentally fatigued sometimes. I just clam up entirely because it feels like I'm trying to swim through porridge just to communicate. Lately, I've taken to having breaks from communication of anything more than surface smalltalk and mundane daily household chatter. And on some topics, I've pretty much given up all attempts to communicate.


I am wondering if anyone can relate to this, the wide awake mind that keeps picking up on everything, and if so, what's good way to turn it down a bit and let it flow through.
Yes, I absolutely relate. At the moment, I manage the experience by just retreating from communication when it gets too overwhelming, and working on fully accepting that I do see, experience, and understand in ways that are not easily communicated, and that a lot of my insights are things that, even if people could understand, they may not be able/ready to understand, anyway (I apologise for how arrogant that probably sounds; unfortunately, I can't find any other way to express it).

I'm slowly starting to develop a kind of equilibrium and discernment as to what to attempt to communicate and to whom. Still not there yet, though, so until I get that balancing act worked out, I suppose I'll just be retreating when necessary and knowing that this is why there are koans, parables, and other mysterious means of communication when it comes to matters spiritual. There are no means of communicating these things, so you just do the best you can with the tools you've got available.

I would have replied to this post earlier, but I was in my non-communication cave for a while, sorting out some attachments that needed to be dissolved and just taking stock of the situation as it appears to now exist. I trust this is a temporary thing, but if it isn't and I'm going to spend the rest of my life being unable to communicate the experiences and insights that flow so freely and deeply in my reality now, well, okay. I have to accept that. Resistance is futile.

(It's a good day when I get to quote the Borg Collective. ;))

[farewell2arms]

Oh, yes, yes, yes. I get so mentally fatigued sometimes. I just clam up entirely because it feels like I'm trying to swim through porridge just to communicate. Lately, I've taken to having breaks from communication of anything more than surface smalltalk and mundane daily household chatter. And on some topics, I've pretty much given up all attempts to communicate.

That must be soo nice. Sometimes I wish I could just do that. Not having to say a word to anyone.

Sometimes people just seem to get irritated with me for reasons I don't get. Sometimes they don't even answer when I ask a question. So why do I bother? I don't know. Maybe I'll just stop. :)

[White_Raven]

Caterpillar Woman,

I'm so glad you shared your experiences, I can relate to them totally :D


(Side note: Negative and positive are purely subjective, and entirely dependent on context and framework, but in this case, there's no other way to describe it, so I'm using those words. Words are clumsy tools.)

That is so right. I studied in the Western Mystery tradition awhile and one elementary lesson there is learning to overcome the instinct to view certain things as negative that are not. In particular, there are lessons concerning serpents, and, for example, how the serpent in the Garden of Eden was not evil but simply symbolic of the awakening of knowledge of good and evil. There was no change in truth, only a conscious recognition of negative things that humans need to grapple with issues animals do not have to. So if I have a dream about a serpent I will welcome the positive in it, and not say, "OMG, a snake, what a nightmare!" And clearly, this all relates directly to Kundalini and seeing the good, and the whole subject of awareness...




Obviously though a kundalini awakening is a peak experience there is a lot of growing from there to be done. It is just the beginning, not the end, that's an error I think people make in understanding why it is not easy, why it doesn't solve everything.
YES. Absolutely.

Also during discussions in this thread I had a wonderful epiphany about K. Years ago (pre-Kundalini) after achieving a blissful, completely pure moment "in the light" I came back to reality to find the state would not transfer or manifest on this plane in that form. Instead, it would go through a "prism" or sorts and divide into the opposite colors of the physical plane and lose that pure light form. I realized that Kundalini goes through the same prism in our bodies and that it never made sense to expect perfection spiritually or in one's life in any way because of Kundalini. It was a such a wonderful moment where I felt both Kundalini and me were absolved of the perfectionism need and the false expectations and could just be, in peace.



Somehow over the last six months I seem to have experienced a leap in awareness.
Me, too, actually. Interesting. I wonder if there's a trend. I don't believe in coincidences, so I assume there's some synchronicity there.

The whole world is undergoing an awakening right now.



Oh, yes. Yes. I call that "speaking martian". You speak, thinking you're being completely clear, and it gets misunderstood or ignored or worse, or they just stare at you blankly like you've suddenly grown an extra head. Very frustrating.
I’ve been confounded by the way that happens with sharing truth that is not deep, spiritual, or complicated. Awareness for me means noticing how something as simple as clutter in your home and life can really cause problems. Getting the blank stare from others for me means, “yes, I understand you are saying clutter is bad. “ But they did not understand the point that I have banished clutter for important reasons besides just being a neatnick!



Oh, yes, yes, yes. I get so mentally fatigued sometimes. I just clam up entirely because it feels like I'm trying to swim through porridge just to communicate. Lately, I've taken to having breaks from communication of anything more than surface smalltalk and mundane daily household chatter. And on some topics, I've pretty much given up all attempts to communicate.

Swimming! That is the same word I use mentally, when both communication and manifestation run extremely slow. I’ve come to see that I am swimming the most at work, and in society (being put on hold for ½ hour on some phone menu) and that all I can do is limit the amount of swimming and frustration in one day. I am certain that Kundalini or not, everyone can feel the “Flow and Energy, Interrupted” effects that are none too pleasant.


I am wondering if anyone can relate to this, the wide awake mind that keeps picking up on everything, and if so, what's good way to turn it down a bit and let it flow through.



I'm slowly starting to develop a kind of equilibrium and discernment as to what to attempt to communicate and to whom. Still not there yet, though, so until I get that balancing act worked out, I suppose I'll just be retreating when necessary and knowing that this is why there are koans, parables, and other mysterious means of communication when it comes to matters spiritual.
Yes, and in all matters. I have found that simple wisdoms answer to greater balance. Good daily routines, exercise, not pushing too hard. Drink plenty of water. Have a good laugh. Love yourself and others. Simple wisdom is powerful and I am embracing that! :D

[ButterflyWoman]

I’ve been confounded by the way that happens with sharing truth that is not deep, spiritual, or complicated. Awareness for me means noticing how something as simple as clutter in your home and life can really cause problems.
*sigh* Tell me about it. Getting people to understand the simplest observations is sometimes very frustrating. I'm to the point in my own home where I'm just going to start telling people, "I can't explain it, don't challenge me, just do it!" Not that I expect that to work, but sometimes the Mother Goddess thing has an effect. ;)


Swimming! That is the same word I use mentally, when both communication and manifestation run extremely slow.
Sync! :lol:


I have found that simple wisdoms answer to greater balance.
*nod* Good observation. Yes, this is my experience, too, though I hadn't articulated it. I generally use the word "subtle" to describe these things, because they do require such delicate balance and, well, subtlety.


Good daily routines, exercise, not pushing too hard. Drink plenty of water. Have a good laugh.
Already there. ;)

Lovely to communicate with you. Rest assured I totally grok. ;)

[White_Raven]

Caterpillar Woman,

Lovely to communicate with you too! Is there some shakti-bliss icon emanating golden light with rainbow strands and beautiful vibes? LOL No, but here's some cominatcha, have a beautiful one, soul sister! :D