Wow! I think it just happened to me!

[Obsidian]

Hello, first post here. My name is Michael and I'm a 31 year old independent music/film producer/comedian/waiter. I think after years of meditation and energy work that Kundalini has indeed made his way to the crown. I hope that some of you find these details intriguing.

The last few months (approx. 4) have been extremely difficult - free floating anxiety attacks, psychosis, spasms (the last ones I had were eyeball spasms - both of them), random aches and pains, etc. I ended up feeling like I was hovering over myself watching my daily activities. It felt like my soul was separated from my body - I had become detached. I was ready for my physical body to be dead so I could move on. However, I didn't die.

Before this all happened, I knew what Kundalini was, however, I knew very little about what would occur or if I even had the power to awaken it. During a meditation, a spirit asked me if I was ready for a new level of sensitivity. Being that I refuse to turn down spiritual challenges, I accepted. About one month later, major physiological changes started occuring.

Luckily, I had been eating right and exercising for a good portion of my life. At the time I was enjoying alcohol beverages somewhat regularly. However, when you think you are dying, you cut out a lot of stuff - I haven't had a drink since. Also, I have been doing a lot of chakra balancing and energy work via crystals. Right around the start of all this, I had a huge grounding meditation with a black obsidian pyramid between my feet. It was at this point that I refused to ever be a slave to fear (which was the foundation of lifestyle in the family I was raised in). This was HUGE for me - and instinctually good timing. Speaking of instincts, I tend to rely on mine quite a bit. I have a nice gemstone/crystal collection that I allow myself to choose from when I feel the urge. I had been switching between a moldavite (transformational) and ammolite (life force permitting) pendants during most of the crazy stuff. I bathed with chiastolite (helps with going mad) which worked quite well during an anxiety spike.

Not even two weeks ago, I was having tremors in bed. Now, I'm typing about how I think I survived. I've been "normal" for about a week now. I am drained in every way possible - as it is said that Kundalini absorbs the energies of the chakras during his rise. I am also very proud of myself for how I handled everything. I had to give a job proposal for a new position at work, produce a hip-hop album, perform music at a festival, host a huge celebrity filled event in front of all of my bosses, start improv comedy classes - all while under the fear of having a panic attack. It sucked soooo bad.

I do feel very whole right now. My heart chakra (where I insist Kundalini should visit frequently) is shining like a ruby in the sun. I've been on Etherium black (monatomic supplements) for about a week and a half. I also taught myself the Kundalini yoga "breath of fire". When I found out from a co-worker that I might be going through a Kundalini rising I learned the BOF to open up all of my energy channels. Worked like a charm.

I have left out a ton of details but I really just wanted to get some of this out of me and on "paper". If I indeed rewired my central nervous system and am back to normal in four months, I think I've done something truly amazing. I give a lot of credit to crystals, charkra balancing, monatomic supplements, superfoods (aloe vera, wheatgrass, marine phytoplankton, etc.) for helping to direct the energy.

Please ask any questions you like.

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

[psionickx]

Before this all happened, I knew what Kundalini was

I dont mean to be disparaging but in my opinion most of the time people see of or hear of something -- subconciously imbibing it and then later on thinking its actually happening to them.I consider this to be a safety valve mechanism i always cross-check my appearent "advancements" against just to be sure that this isn't something i might be deluding myself with.



At the time I was enjoying alcohol beverages somewhat regularly
:mrgreen:


it is said that Kundalini absorbs the energies of the chakras during his rise
Once again i think you ought to look into this a bit.K in its full blown acension tends to first go into "knot-breakage" unlocking the granthis , once sushmana , ida or pingla clearup and become freeflowing the chakras tend to reach maxium ignition.But yes there are nuances in energetic systems rendering each one of us predisposed to different qualtitative/quantitative experiences.


free floating anxiety attacks, psychosis, spasms (the last ones I had were eyeball spasms - both of them), random aches and pains

major physiological changes started occuring.

when you think you are dying

all while under the fear of having a panic attack

Seeing a doctor wouldn't hurt in anycase :)

[Obsidian]

Hi! Thanks for the reply.


I dont mean to be disparaging but in my opinion most of the time people see of or hear of something -- subconciously imbibing it and then later on thinking its actually happening to them.I consider this to be a safety valve mechanism i always cross-check my appearent "advancements" against just to be sure that this isn't something i might be deluding myself with.

Honestly, while the effects where occurring, I thought it was because of a detox I was doing with bike riding and wheat grass. I thought that toxins from tobacco, preservatives, etc. were deeply buried in my quadriceps and being purged with my new bike riding regiment. I thought that simultaneously the wheatgrass i was doing regularly was cleansing the lymphatic system causing a synergistic toxin release. I didn't think about Kundalini even the slightest until a co-worker (who says that it happened to her) suggested that I read up on it - which I did. Hence, here I am :)



Once again i think you ought to look into this a bit.K in its full blown acension tends to first go into "knot-breakage" unlocking the granthis , once sushmana , ida or pingla clearup and become freeflowing the chakras tend to reach maxium ignition.But yes there are nuances in energetic systems rendering each one of us predisposed to different qualtitative/quantitative experiences.

I hope that all of this wasn't just one knot - ouch!


Seeing a doctor wouldn't hurt in anycase :)

I have a checkup planned for January - as soon as my work season dies down a little bit. Though, I don't trust doctors much anymore.

Thanks again for the reply! :D

[psionickx]

judging from your bright-eyed bushy-tailed vibe of writing something sure did happen to you.

a congrats would be in order but im too green with envy to hand it to you :mrgreen:

[Tutor]

hi Obsidian,

I love your avatar...lol.

i share with psionickx, the need for calm and collected , even detached, pov. priority one, is to rule out the physical/medical health symptoms perhaps relative to the unknown cause of health issues.

sobriety is key, not just with substances like alcohol, recreational drugs and meds; but in the whole realm of one's thinking. this to include beliefs, wishful thinking, of fears and such. the least subjective the better.

however, psionickx's description above is right on, and when that channel is wide open, there is no doubt that something major is happening, even if you've never heard of kundalini, you will after the fact search out the clues.

'it' would cascade through the head as if a cold wash, turning back downward as frigid rain through you. for myself, art has best depicted this 'wash'. the best of which was a blue man with two snakes coming out and over his head, as he (conquerer) held up in his arms his female prize, both of them lost in the passion of wild animal sex, she pressed hard against the unnoticed fruited tree of life.

but this is the first non-sober glimpse of 'it's' import. for a fool is born, that he would ultimately imagine to have conquered femininity, as it is. 'it' has merely begun to conquer he through a seeming great act of keyed submission , finito.

folks will think, based upon their physical gender, that this cannot be the case. a woman would think that because of her physical nature of gender, that this K is not about this pictorialized suggestive art. yet, each within, has both genders, well beyond the physicality apparent as fleshly body.

perhaps to say, that K is a deeper in 'sameness' to that first fleshly coupling by sexual attraction, the wild passionate sex without regard to where it is taking to or going from, lost in the moment of euphoric ecstacy. after which, the coupling winds down to it's more sober enterprize of being together in the many roles which coupled togetherness is.

some quite frankly, never get past the orgasmic euphoria, and sadly divine madness keeps them aloft where they looking downward deem the lot insufficient and ugly. this is no different than our basic human fear of commitment, that would have one self-degradingly at the singles bar every night subjecting themself to one night stands in hopes for a great f**k. the metaphorical sexual addict at an exponential height.

i have the quote somewhere from a friend's words on K years ago, but i will have to phrase it as best i can.

"the person that only has f**king in mind may in that mindstate only f**k; yet one that makes love may in that hearted love enjoy the pleasures that love provides, even the pleasure of f**king."

this friend, she reckoned it best, from first hand experience, to have the K under One's feet, and to have K's gift lighting the heart of Union.

perhaps this seems as vulgar metaphor, yet it is not about a Hostess cream filled Twinkie.

suffice to say, that even as the divine feminine was the first word, she does indeed have the last word. or the forethought to all thoughts following, will when awakened sift those mis-followed thoughts for clarity's truer sight of Her.

so, full circle, check those listed desiring thoughts twice, for naughty and nice, to receive the gift rightly in the present heart opened. so many receive the lump of coal to feed the firing mind's insatiable wanton for the mere craved 'thing' of 'self's' euphoric instant gratification. there is no human that is not perfectly wrong, therefore is K to perfect what might be righted upon it's very K-ness as foundation.

upright, walk on; or downright wrong, slither within 'much ado about nothing'.

i am a friend to myself,

tim

[Beekeeper]

Please ask any questions you like.


I had to give a job proposal for a new position at work, produce a hip-hop album, perform music at a festival, host a huge celebrity filled event in front of all of my bosses, start improv comedy classes - all while under the fear of having a panic attack. It sucked soooo bad.


Do you feel the rising of kundalini had any impact of your creativity or vice versa?


I do feel very whole right now. My heart chakra (where I insist Kundalini should visit frequently) is shining like a ruby in the sun.
Do you feel more complete?

Were there implications in this for how you felt about others, all living things, the planet?


I have left out a ton of details but I really just wanted to get some of this out of me and on "paper".

Were there any profound realisations about self or reality? Were there periods of bliss?

Had you manifested any siddhi (other than speaking to spirit, of course)?

Why not use this thread now to journal further developments in your transcendence? 8)

[Obsidian]

That's quite a bit to chew on, Tutor. Thank you.

I did have a cold wash feeling the night of the tremor. It was occurred after I laid down to go to sleep and went into a state of deeper consciousness. I became nauseous and vomited and laid in bed and shook like I was shivering violently - with my body tightening up into a knot. I finally made it to sleep and the next day my coworker (who is a healer and had K happen to her) told me to read up on K. She insisted that I hug her and project heart energy. She hugged me tightly and when she pulled away - she had tears in her eyes and said, "Wow!" and stepped back. She didn't speak for about a minute. The cold wash experience was the last major WTF i've had. Perhaps K traveling back to base? So many questions and so much to read. Too bad I'm working like crazy right now. All I want is a week off so I can play in dirt and meditate - sigh.

[Obsidian]

Do you feel the rising of kundalini had any impact of your creativity or vice versa?

Right now, I'm feeling a bit stifled. Creative energy is running through me at a pace where I can't release it fast enough. I feel like sitting down and writing an album of music. However, my busy work schedule this season in not permitting. Music itself has been changing its sound. I sat and played guitar the other night and I found two chords that when played together made me weep in happiness. This isn't that uncommon for me, but it had an extra powerful stamp on it.

Speaking of music, I had been relying a lot on metal and it's aggressiveness to synch my mind and body during exercise and meditation. Finding a deep peace within shear turbulence of this music was a goal. Am I balancing?

I suddenly had strange thirsts for R&B (Maxwell & D'Angelo). Towards the end of the experience I had a thirst for the band Tool.


Do you feel more complete?

I feel the completeness. However, I feel the journey has just begun. So many things to do with this perspective.


Were there implications in this for how you felt about others, all living things, the planet?

I had been refining these thoughts for a very long time in my life. It's like I already had the puzzle together - I just gained a border to stabilize it.


Were there any profound realisations about self or reality? Were there periods of bliss?

I was going back in forth to, "Oh f*** I'm dying" to rolling in bed laughing while being engulfed in a heroin-like (so I would guess) body high. After the cold wash (see above post) the bliss seems stabilized in my perception. I can feel it in my body, too.


Had you manifested any siddhi (other than speaking to spirit, of course)?

Holy carp! I just Wiki'd "siddhi" and one of the five siddhis of yoga and meditation is "Tolerance of heat, cold and other dualities". The other day when I went for a jog - it was cold and windy. I said to myself, "You will warm up soon when you get to your jog spot - you can shiver and be miserable or accept that it's cold and there isn't a f***ing thing you can do to change it." After that, the uncomfortable "Im cold" sensation dissolved and I was instantly amazed at the mind control I was able to pull off.

To really answer your question (and I have to get ready for work :/) I need to do more research.


Why not use this thread now to journal further developments in your transcendence? 8)

That would be such a wonderful thing. I don't want to annoy anyone, but if this is ok I WOULD LOVE TO! I'm still unravelling all of the things that happened and I would love to share them!

[CFTraveler]

Of course you should. Journals are wonderful things, I have found.

[ButterflyWoman]

Journals are wonderful things, I have found.
Agreed. And try to write it as if you're writing for someone else to read. It forces you to collect your thoughts and ideas in a coherent form. (When I keep a private journal, it always ends up being just notes and bullet lists and so on; it's only when I write so that other people might be able to make sense of it that I find it especially helpful in furthering my own understanding and progress.)

[Beekeeper]

Definitely journal it here. I'm very interested in your experiences.

[Obsidian]

Of course you should. Journals are wonderful things, I have found.

Excellent :idea:

Here are a few tidbits about me and my experience. First of all, I'd like to say that this experience was INTENSE. I can see how it can be dangerous and life threatening to go through alone. I am completely exhausted by this whole experience (let alone my super stressful job/life this year). However, I am very excited to now have the opportunity to work with this energy.

As I rely on instinct for energy work, I had placed a tiger's eye pyramid by my bed. Now that I've read up on tiger's eye to find that it stimulates the rise of K energy. At one point of desperation I burned sage and candles while placing stones on my chakras. I chose black obsidian, red jasper, carnelian, yellow jasper, moldavite, kyanite, chiastolite and selenite. My roommate felt compelled to buy me a jade necklace in Belize. Jade calms the central nervous system.

Right before the symptoms occurred I had the most powerful dream of my life. I was imbued with an array of psychic powers. Such included pychokinesis and levitation (which I added to my jumping ability to make huge leaps up ancient stone bridges and stairways in a jungle setting). The strange thing was that I could feel how to focus energy and make it happen - not just the actions themselves. In that same dream I comforted a child who was waiting for his family to get back from an excursion. The dream was so powerful that I woke up and began researching pychokinesis which lead to information about pyrokinesis, chronokinesis, cryokinesis, etc. I think I have a unique bond with time.

I felt compelled to cut off my hair, dye it blonde with a red orange color in the front while having visions of a fiery phoenix.

The anxiety I experienced let to strange phobias. The worst phobia was having to stand in line at the grocery store (or convenience store, etc.). One time, the anxiety was too intense and I thought I was going to faint so I left my groceries on the conveyor belt and walked out. Not fun.

My connections with other human beings have become much more powerful and meaningful.

I've been finding significance in everything I experience and am able to translate it as a divine language. I don't feel alone. The divine is in everything everywhere all the time.

I've been able to surrender to the highest power alleviating much stress and confusion. I have become much stronger because of this.

I am single and only had sex near the beginning of the effects. I was intoxicated. EDIT: I wanted to state that it had been several months before this that I had sex. I wanted to clear up that this wasn't my very first sexual experience :lol:

I decided that I want to take the opportunity that Obama has given us here in the states and go back to school. I'm interested in graphic design, game design, and animation. I already started taking improv comedy classes. I feel like a thirsty sponge.

I've been a long time mary jane user. I have recently found the urge to quit to heal my lungs and purify myself. At the beginning of the transformation I had quit for two weeks successfully with ease. However, when the anxiety started I began smoking again to give myself a reason to have anxiety - as mary jane can often cause anxiety issues. It proved a bit of comfort. I do not smoke to escape from reality - it seems that it grants sensitivity and focus in certain areas - art and mundane tasks to name a few. I feel that I do not need MJ to do this anymore.

A silver necklace that I bought last year barely fits around my neck. It seems that I have had a growth spurt of some sort - though I'm 31.

These are a few things off the top of my head. Any insight/advice/criticism is welcome.

[Obsidian]

Journals are wonderful things, I have found.
Agreed. And try to write it as if you're writing for someone else to read. It forces you to collect your thoughts and ideas in a coherent form. (When I keep a private journal, it always ends up being just notes and bullet lists and so on; it's only when I write so that other people might be able to make sense of it that I find it especially helpful in furthering my own understanding and progress.)

Yes, it's a great way to get it out!

[Dakini1]

Hi Obsidian,

I am a new member here, so I don't really want to rock boats or upset anyone. What I would like to comment on is your use of crystals, to induce ecstatic experiences. One of the first things I learned with Kundalini is non-attachment. Obsidian, you do not need crystals, or any outer means in order to experience Kundalini. Crystals are very beautiful and have some properties, but Kundalini is a force of its own that does not need 'help' from an outside source.

Just think of the Kundalini monks who sit in one place experiencing the bliss that is available to us all. They have need for nothing except fuel to keep their bodies alive. No crystals, no books, no temples, or fancy raiment's for their bodies.

Put those things aside and concentrate on what is inside of you.

Blessings, Dakini x

[Obsidian]

Hi Obsidian,

I am a new member here, so I don't really want to rock boats or upset anyone. What I would like to comment on is your use of crystals, to induce ecstatic experiences. One of the first things I learned with Kundalini is non-attachment. Obsidian, you do not need crystals, or any outer means in order to experience Kundalini. Crystals are very beautiful and have some properties, but Kundalini is a force of its own that does not need 'help' from an outside source.

Just think of the Kundalini monks who sit in one place experiencing the bliss that is available to us all. They have need for nothing except fuel to keep their bodies alive. No crystals, no books, no temples, or fancy raiment's for their bodies.

Put those things aside and concentrate on what is inside of you.

Blessings, Dakini x

Welcome Dakini!

Yes, the power is within. The crystals themselves never induce experiences but they are important to me as I have an affinity to heal others (and myself). They are my little toolkit and I have learned much through them. However, I do not ever rely solely on them for cosmic knowledge or to induce experiences.

Thank you for the post!

[Obsidian]

Well, I'm still feeling great though I'm working way too much in a psychic battlefield where I work. After the holidays, I plan on scheduling a vacation so that I can regroup and begin harnessing this energy.

I did have a glimpse of the anxiety yesterday while Xmas shopping for my parents. Standing in line I felt the anxiety creep up again. However, I focused on the center of my spine and remembered that everything is going to be just fine and the anxiety melted into euphoria.

The more I read about the K experience - the more it's clear that the energy traveled up the ida or pingala channel. This is what is creating the mental disturbances. Perhaps in my K yoga book I'll find some good ways of exercising and balancing these channels as I get to know them better.

Back to remembering what life was like during the four months of intensity I recall:

Visual hallucinations. Not seeing weird stuff like purple elephants but depth perception and color being surreal - as if everything is a painting.

During my nightly exercises (since I work at a bar I typically go jogging at 3-4am) I often felt like an alien exploring mundane surroundings (buildings, etc.) with a deep compassion for the human race.

Extreme mood shifts.

I remember that my anxiety attacks would start with either my left thumb feeling numb or a sudden wave of heat.

That's all for now, folks. Take care! :D

[ButterflyWoman]

Visual hallucinations. Not seeing weird stuff like purple elephants but depth perception and color being surreal - as if everything is a painting.
I've had that one. I've also had audio hallucinations, where I kind of hear stuff in odd ways. For example, the sound of a slightly rattling fan may sound distinctly like distant music, or the hum of an appliance may have a perceived rhythm and music to it, etc. I've also occasionally perceived what sounded like voices, though I could never quite hear what they were saying.


I often felt like an alien exploring mundane surroundings (buildings, etc.) with a deep compassion for the human race.
Well, I've often felt like an alien, but I can't say I have much compassion for humanity. For individual humans, yes, but humanity as a whole leaves me cold, even now. (And yes, I know this is an ego-based thing, and I know that eventually I will be called upon to surrender it, and I will, but up until now, I've held onto it because, well, people suck :))


Extreme mood shifts.
Careful with that one. I got a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder, spent some time in the looney bin, even. (I am not Bipolar. I am not on medication. I do not fit the clinical criteria for Bipolar AT ALL. Supposedly, it's a disorder that never goes away, but mine, miraculously, did, so...)

Regarding the anxiety, I had panic/anxiety problems most of my life, along with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. For me, the Kundalini awakening made all of that much, much worse, because as Kundalini did its work, my usual coping techniques dissolved (ego structure was breaking down, etc.). So my experience is probably not the same on that count.

However, I can tell you that a big part of what causes the anxiety IS the ego structure breaking down. Ego wants to believe that it (i.e., YOU) are whatever it thinks you are, i.e., that you are the identity created by ego to be you. When things start to happen that threaten this view, ego reacts in all kinds of ways. One of them is terror in the form of panic, fear, anxiety, etc. Ego is facing its own death (side note: It's called "ego death" but it's only death as far as the ego is concerned, and it's actually a disengagement from ego/identity. Nothing actually "dies". It's just ego's fear that it will.)

So when you get the anxiety attacks, you're on the right track with staying centered. Also try to see that it's a peeling away of layers of belief about who you are, and while being disillusioned (literally!) can be uncomfortable, it's also the way to finding out what you REALLY are. It's something you can put your focus on, anyway. Might help.

[Obsidian]

Solid advice, CW! Love it a lot!

The extreme mood shifts aren't that annoying or severe. I'm pretty good at normalizing myself but I can't deny that I'll be thinking/embracing anger and suddenly have a switch to a deep sadness then back to happiness. I'm allowing myself to experience negative emotions so that I can learn more about myself and reroute my thought patterns.

I love the thought of anxiety attacks being a peeling away of ego/exhausted beliefs. I will embrace this and turn these attacks into beautiful experiences.

Thank you so much :D :D :D :D

[alphadracooverlord]

Is your kundalini rising when meeting or connecting to certain people? How did the energy itself feel? Did it feel like bubbles, fire, electricity, warmth or cold? Did you feel your third eye being powered up once the energy reached it? Do you feel something travelling both upwards and downwards or only upwards?

I'm sorry to hear you've had psychosis. During my last psychosis I had totally lost myself and the kundalini was rising constantly. I felt really good however for a while.

I think kundalini is almost like riding a superbike. You have to be careful but it can be quite ride.

[Obsidian]

In regards to other peoples' power to trigger activity, I would say that certain people (some random - often people that I have a strong connection to ie., friends/family) definitely activate it.

Initially the energy felt like warmth. Often it would frighten me as it was intense and I didn't know what was happening. Now, it's electricity. I've learned to ride the lightening (literally) and treat them as updates. Often, I feel overloaded and I can focus my energy on my spine and create a 1-3 second electrical movement up the spine that "updates" the current developments. It's not scary and I can control it. It often feels rejuvenating and delightful. :D I can do it on the fly and I often put my palms together (prayer pose maybe?).

Yeah, the psychosis sucks, but it only happened for about 4 months at it's peak - thank goodness.

I've read from a few places that crystal healing can be dangerous if you haven't learned from a practitioner. I've been practicing independently for 3 years so I'm sure I haven't abided the laws. An American Indian crystal healing book suggests that it's dangerous to cover more than one chakra with a crystal. I know that every different culture has their rights and wrongs but I think I should check out a few and see who I resonate with. I've got a few books coming in to help me reorganize the situation. I'm very open to suggestions :)

RIDE TEH SUPERBIKKE!!1!!!!

[Obsidian]

I just got a new book - Kundalini and the Chakras by Genevieve Lewis Paulson. So far it's really helpful!

The book mentions a "Kundalini flu". Coincidentally, last week I was the sickest I've ever been as an adult. I had to miss a few days of work and I felt terrible - I almost had my roommate take me to the hospital. He gave me a bottle of herbal wellness tablets and I ended up riding it out. It was intense - I felt the energy of death deep in my chest. I had been spending quite a few days in bed sweating and feeling mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually constipated. A few days have passed since and I feel AMAZING. Like, the best I've ever felt in my life - seriously. Energy seems to be free flowing through me with no blockages. Today is day two of this magnificent blissful energy. I hope that it's only going to keep getting better from here. I've been listening to Sublime, 311 and RHCP to get me through the cold winter blues. The winter can make me upset because I don't get to go outside and play enough. Summer baby, here - Leo!

[newfreedom]

Visual hallucinations. Not seeing weird stuff like purple elephants but depth perception and color being surreal - as if everything is a painting.
I've had that one. I've also had audio hallucinations, where I kind of hear stuff in odd ways. For example, the sound of a slightly rattling fan may sound distinctly like distant music, or the hum of an appliance may have a perceived rhythm and music to it, etc. I've also occasionally perceived what sounded like voices, though I could never quite hear what they were saying.


I often felt like an alien exploring mundane surroundings (buildings, etc.) with a deep compassion for the human race.
Well, I've often felt like an alien, but I can't say I have much compassion for humanity. For individual humans, yes, but humanity as a whole leaves me cold, even now. (And yes, I know this is an ego-based thing, and I know that eventually I will be called upon to surrender it, and I will, but up until now, I've held onto it because, well, people suck :))


Extreme mood shifts.
Careful with that one. I got a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder, spent some time in the looney bin, even. (I am not Bipolar. I am not on medication. I do not fit the clinical criteria for Bipolar AT ALL. Supposedly, it's a disorder that never goes away, but mine, miraculously, did, so...)

Regarding the anxiety, I had panic/anxiety problems most of my life, along with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. For me, the Kundalini awakening made all of that much, much worse, because as Kundalini did its work, my usual coping techniques dissolved (ego structure was breaking down, etc.). So my experience is probably not the same on that count.

However, I can tell you that a big part of what causes the anxiety IS the ego structure breaking down. Ego wants to believe that it (i.e., YOU) are whatever it thinks you are, i.e., that you are the identity created by ego to be you. When things start to happen that threaten this view, ego reacts in all kinds of ways. One of them is terror in the form of panic, fear, anxiety, etc. Ego is facing its own death (side note: It's called "ego death" but it's only death as far as the ego is concerned, and it's actually a disengagement from ego/identity. Nothing actually "dies". It's just ego's fear that it will.)

So when you get the anxiety attacks, you're on the right track with staying centered. Also try to see that it's a peeling away of layers of belief about who you are, and while being disillusioned (literally!) can be uncomfortable, it's also the way to finding out what you REALLY are. It's something you can put your focus on, anyway. Might help.

Hi Obsidian, CW,

Thanks for this thread, i have only just read a bit now, but what you said above CW is soo clear and helpful, i have been through so much of these kinds of things on and off during the past 5 yrs, but don't feel i can often clearly explain most of it to others in a logical, readable way...... the above sheds more light on the subject ...... Big Thanks :)

[ButterflyWoman]

i have been through so much of these kinds of things on and off during the past 5 yrs, but don't feel i can often clearly explain most of it to others in a logical, readable way......
*nod* I can only discuss these things with many years of retrospection and the formation of some stability (ego, but not like before; ego is actually necessary to interface with the world, so long as you put it in its proper perspective).


Big Thanks :)
You're very welcome. :)

[alphadracooverlord]

Usually I would put more trust in a person that gives me a nice kundalini bubble sensation powering up the third eye. It gives me a feeling that the person helps me on my mission. One of my friends gets my kundalini going very strong just by meeting him. It gets so strong the third eye gets a pressure almost instantly.

Sorry I forgot to say congratz Obsidian.

[Mahavatar_Babaji]

The last few months (approx. 4) have been extremely difficult - free floating anxiety attacks, psychosis, spasms (the last ones I had were eyeball spasms - both of them), random aches and pains, etc. I ended up feeling like I was hovering over myself watching my daily activities. It felt like my soul was separated from my body - I had become detached. I was ready for my physical body to be dead so I could move on. However, I didn't die.

Hi. It definitely sounds to me that you have experienced the power of the kundalini shakti, and lived to tell the tale. I'm glad that you were able to balance your hectic work schedule with your kundalini awakening, because it can make your daily life very difficult. The spiritual books tell us that kundalini will be a blissful awakening and all will be well, but Gopi Krishna's kundalini awakening shows us that it can be a nightmare.

How are you managing with your awakening now? How is your kudnalini treating you?

Dave

[Obsidian]

Thank you , ReptoidOverlord!!!



The last few months (approx. 4) have been extremely difficult - free floating anxiety attacks, psychosis, spasms (the last ones I had were eyeball spasms - both of them), random aches and pains, etc. I ended up feeling like I was hovering over myself watching my daily activities. It felt like my soul was separated from my body - I had become detached. I was ready for my physical body to be dead so I could move on. However, I didn't die.

Hi. It definitely sounds to me that you have experienced the power of the kundalini shakti, and lived to tell the tale. I'm glad that you were able to balance your hectic work schedule with your kundalini awakening, because it can make your daily life very difficult. The spiritual books tell us that kundalini will be a blissful awakening and all will be well, but Gopi Krishna's kundalini awakening shows us that it can be a nightmare.

How are you managing with your awakening now? How is your kudnalini treating you?

Dave

Hi Dave! Thank you for reading and asking as I've been meaning to update this thread. I'm still going through a few ups and downs but few moments have been as scary as in the beginning stages (exceptions included later). Many positive things in my life are becoming more and more powerful - creative forces, psychic abilities and oneness to name a few. Synchronicities are going crazy and life is so surreal. The universe just keeps sending me tiny little inside jokes and is making life really fun and beautiful. However, I did have two very scary moments during colds/flus.

I've had two colds/flus in the past four-five months and they were INTENSE. I felt a huge energy constipation that felt like demons trapped in my body. Like, the kind of stuff that will make you go crazy. I recently had a terrible case of sinusitis (neon yellow snot, etc.). and I felt an energy constipation around the heart. The week prior, I had a release that felt like I was wrapped in a huge, warm heroin blanket (best way I could think of to put it). However, more blockages appeared as I became sick with the sinusitis. When my sinuses shut and I can't breathe through my nose - I want to shoot myself. However, the feeling is amplified under my current conditions and it was unbearable. I couldn't sleep. When I tried to lay down and get comfortable - it instantly felt like I was in a horror film and I was about to ♥♥♥♥ing get it! This energy is the nightmare of Kundalini. I remember getting comfortable while lying on my back and I fell half asleep. I turned over on my left side and a surge of some terrible energy shot through me and I threw my covers off and jumped straight out of bed like, "WHAT THE ♥♥♥♥ WAS THAT!?!?!?!?".

Finally I realized that the ONLY relief was exercise. One day while getting ready to go for a jog (after a bikeride, lol) I was putting some tunes on my iPod and I felt three gentle little pops in my abdomen - around the sacral, solar plexus, and heart chakras in a zig-zag pattern (maybe nadis). I instantly felt all of the terrible energy leave my body and I felt normal again. Actually, I felt AMAZING!!! Except I also felt some intestinal discomfort which I have been nursing successfully with some herbal teas :). The terrible feelings have not returned since the pops.

I did have a little bit of anxiety at a chaotic Tex-Mex joint I decided to stop by for lunch. I think the atmosphere in there could quite possibly stimulate anxiety in normal people, lol. However, I've decided to start taking a supplement of Skullcap which does wonders for the nervous system from what I've read including to rebuild the tissues from their certain shock/transformation.

If anyone can help identify what is going on with me and what I should be expecting, please let me know!

Peace and pleasure!

[DatBillionaire]

What do you mean when you say your Heart Chakra is shinning like a sun?