Snake in the museum

[farewell2arms]

I had a dream last night where I was in a large building, like a museum with a bunch of kids from elementary school. The walls were sand coloured, it felt and looked like stone to me. Suddenly, a woman came out carrying a large snake over her shoulders. It had a zig-zag pattern on its back that was coloured orange and white. The snake itself was silver and glowed slightly in yellow, this seemed like a reflection of the lightning in the room.

It was very large, perhaps three or four meters long. It seemed friendly enough. I felt no fear for it.
This woman put the snake on the floor and started beating it at it’s tail with a large wooden club. It just lay there and took the hits. With every beat, it shrunk some, all the way down to about 1 m. The woman then put the snake into an aquarium. It just lay there. I silently wondered how it could breathe under water.

I was a spectator in this dream, silently accepting everything that happened, but with some confusion

What do you guys think?

[Tutor]

John,

happy to see you back :D . I will stay out of this one, so as not to be so damn 'very overwhelming'. i seem to have a knack for that, and this dream of yours certainly opens the doors to much long windedness.

tim

[farewell2arms]

Lol, ok. 8)

It's good to be back.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3RYvO2X0Oo

[Tutor]

Lol, ok. 8)

It's good to be back.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3RYvO2X0Oo

yup, is why i pour it out to you lil bro, where i with the choice, may not choose to for another. i imagine such an instrument is not worthy of being self-sanctioned to the forced minimalism of an aquarium, and is more rather worthy of being set free into the wide open uni-verse where weeping intruments are rejoicefully received, as it is they alone which bring melodious truth upon receptive harmonious vibrations.

a Mother seeing Her child restlessly pursuant of that which causes him weeping, might with a club see fit to subdue that which distresses Her child's inability to understand what is being pursued. this is a Mother's protective nature and right, to even hold back the child beyond the years crying out for rightful maturity.

who can blame such a wonderful Mother? not I, for She knows me when I do not know me. sees me when i cannot see myself. so She reveals the scene of our thoughted tragedy for our maturity to gain a footing where it has yet to firmly establish itself.

Think that She would refuse the child it's rightful maturity? no is the answer to that. but She will inform the child of what is lacking, that in having symbolically seen what is revealed, the child may therefrom step out realizing that it is watched over, lessening the fear/s, to take that rightful step into awaiting maturity under Her watchful gaze heartfully wishing and supporting the child towards freedom of flight.

what need of wings when under Her wings one is? yet, a Mother's purpose is to give wings to that which has of itself, wings. if taking wing, does one lose a Mother? no, one gains a winged friend in flight, for She would appear in the life as that femininity which masculinity requires for wholeness.

the fears within then, for masculinity, is can I as the man give myself to that which is woman toward the wholeness? do i yet want to sow the wild oats of disregard toward femininity's rightful truth?

yet, how does a Mother register the child-man's maturity, being as it is She which is all femininity present outlying? it cannot then be two dissimular roads, one within and one yet without? they are the same roadway of occurences.

this snake is raw sexual energy let loose, to either mature or defile. given the personal will to choose therefrom the options, what is given may just as easily be taken away (subdued) for a time underwing.

ask yourself, how many masculinitys are running amok out there with defiling ways toward femininity? are you among them? no

why? because you everybit possess that which is able to with maturity step out from it. thus, such a Mother would minimalize what would otherwise harm what you've unknowingly gained so that it cannot be harmed through harming others, they as well in it. or to say, your wings are flight-capable, and She is not going to see you crash and burn in your fears born of self-mistrust.

comes a time when She shoves you into your unreadiness, but for now She protects you from you.

i have to ask myself everyday, "what am i waiting for?". at 50 years of age, spiritual challenges yet seem as daunting fearsome enterprizes, and i find myself fully winged, having even flown a bit, yet still ducking under Her wings for mercy's sake.

I have a lovely Woman in my life, my wife who like myself as husband for her, serves a variety of functions with which to manufacture healing resolve where the worldly roles failed to fill. thus is the rightful union of two within the contextual world.

but, right now, i gots me some steaks to go on the grill, i gotta be the cook...so catch ya later. 8)

[Beekeeper]

I had a dream last night where I was in a large building, like a museum with a bunch of kids from elementary school. The walls were sand coloured, it felt and looked like stone to me. Suddenly, a woman came out carrying a large snake over her shoulders. It had a zig-zag pattern on its back that was coloured orange and white. The snake itself was silver and glowed slightly in yellow, this seemed like a reflection of the lightning in the room.

It was very large, perhaps three or four meters long. It seemed friendly enough. I felt no fear for it.
This woman put the snake on the floor and started beating it at it’s tail with a large wooden club. It just lay there and took the hits. With every beat, it shrunk some, all the way down to about 1 m. The woman then put the snake into an aquarium. It just lay there. I silently wondered how it could breathe under water.

I was a spectator in this dream, silently accepting everything that happened, but with some confusion

What do you guys think?


Tim's covered a possibility but only you can truly say. He clearly picked up on your silent acceptance, which I think is key.

Am I right in presuming you are a heterosexual male?


I had a dream last night where I was in a large building, like a museum with a bunch of kids from elementary school. The walls were sand coloured, it felt and looked like stone to me.

A museum is a place for preserving the old for posterity and the word "elementary" could suggest something very basic, something you learn early. The stone building might suggest something "set in stone".


Suddenly, a woman came out carrying a large snake over her shoulders. It had a zig-zag pattern on its back that was coloured orange and white. The snake itself was silver and glowed slightly in yellow, this seemed like a reflection of the lightning in the room.

The woman - how did you interpret her intentions? She seems like an archetypal priestess, who, as Tim interpreted, is linked to mother. She may well be an anima figure, an intuitive part of you.

Why do you think you noticed the snake's beauty and patterning in such detail? Perhaps the earthy tones and the silver have personal significance to you?


This woman put the snake on the floor and started beating it at it’s tail with a large wooden club. It just lay there and took the hits. With every beat, it shrunk some, all the way down to about 1 m. The woman then put the snake into an aquarium. It just lay there. I silently wondered how it could breathe under water.


Poor snake. I wonder if this isn't just about sexual control but also emasculation. I know you just accept it in the dream but emasculation by definition dis-empowers and acceptance, especially with confusion, can be mere resignation at times.

An aquarium allows everyone to witness the exhibit but the creature does not appear to be in its correct element, despite its ongoing survival. It has survived but, for better or for worse, it's been diminished.

Perhaps this dream is about feeling limited by what is permitted publicly in terms of being male.

[Tutor]

I think my reply is way over the top and pushy as hell. lots of assumptive symbolicry. it does scream heterosexual, but it is easily adapted into alternate sexual scenarios, what is a coupling of girl and boy in the world takes on many meanings, not always the physical body's reveal, yet you wont find attraction pulling together any other than opposites, even if the placement has to be wrestled over sometimes. yeah, it is up to the dreamer to see it.

my thing with the aquarium, is suggestive of kept size, increase the allowable space and the size increases. set it free in the ocean and size has no limitation.

wings is simply to say being free, the right and left working together as first nature, navigating skillfully (flying) without thought in second nature.

it is just language of symbolic holdings, or agencys of empowerment. like that only, not to be misconstrued as babbling indicative of fanatical fundamental religious fervor running delusionally amok impressive of 'this is way ya gotta see it or you are wrong'.

analogy, allegory, metaphor...etc, serve to explain where idealistically rendered thoughts cannot.

like a library, to make sense the books have to be organized by genre. each genre is a holding for an array of seemingly 'differentials' brought together under one authority. not an idea, but an authority. altogether organized, a library is a grand source of authoritated holdings.

so, to say 'Mother' is to point to a genre. simply because, if the word 'mother' is left to individual definition, then as per individual notions of their own mother, the true meaning is lost.

every word begets a definitive group of words, or a definitive grouping of words begets a word; either way, just as Daniel Webster, i reckon so.

mine, or personal, or freedom - words used individually are not defined as per individual, they precede individuality as whatever language is assimulated in the upcoming maturity.

otherwise there is chaos, the library has been vandalized, if not burned to the ground.

so, in a truth, the many speaking in the world as if their individual perspectivitys are end all definitive, well they are the babblers having lost their way to the library and the dictionary.

but, they are very first to pointedly call 'babbler' when hearing or reading another's utilization of the word, regardless of language it may be in.

no one is going to get apples off a hickory nut tree, or acorns off a lemon tree. foxes are not going to give birth to rabbits...get my point. it is what it is, as it is, authoritatively ordered, and not open for individual license to mis-name or mis-order. doesnt matter what your personal opinion of 'it' is or isnt. it just is, and you are in it, not being in the thoughts about it.

if man is human, and human is man, then why have two statements about it? mankind does a lot, and often those of man finding themselves as being in it appallingly cry out, "oh the humanity!".

word

tim

[farewell2arms]

:)

[Tutor]

yeah, let the 'thought' be the seed, and you be the fertile field growing you. it is good to grasp something (ideal) in thought, but also to realize that the thought/ideal alone is not actually being or having achieved something. but like a good farmer, seeds grow food for more thought...ad infinitum.

'actual' is just being, with no need of 'something' extraneous of it's self to solidify a definition by external definitive source, or classified achievement status. human is human, or it is man pretending to be as such based upon notions of what it be like to such be.

spirit is impersonal, often taken personal by the personal witness of impersonal reveal. i mean to say, how we feel about our reflection in the mirror has a lot to do with what we personally see in the mirror. however, the reflection in the mirror is an honest impersonal portrayal of our reflected image, whether we like it or not, as personal feelings go.

but the feelings invoked, as well as evoked, can go a long way in deducing what the reveal/reflection is displaying for the personal image witnessing it. like this forum, one writes the dream out as they personally witnessed it, describes how they feel, for others to then objectively look at it. so one has brought it to an (hopefully) impersonal arena for justification, which is good. it is hard to see ourselves from the personal feelings skewing the imagery personally.

i mean, though, a thousand folks can look right at an anorexic person, tell them what they objectively see, but it takes this personally afflicted person to realize that in the mirror they are not really being reflected as fat.

what is personal is as a great entanglement of misunderstoods. but, this doesnt mean that what is personal is to be thrown out with the bath water. it merely requires disentanglement, ordering, and subsequent understanding, understanding often being no more than self-forgiveness through forgiveness of others, themselves deeply entangled, knowing no more what they are/were doing than do/had you while in it together.

with the child, it is hard put not to accept as it's identity, that which is given to it by others in the life. becoming the adult, as it were, this entangled identity is no less thrown to the wolves of impersonal folks having no clue as how another has come up, have no personal considerations for another's foibles. thus still more entanglement...toward a human crisis, which inwardly means to release through as disentanglement. but the world cannot see it from the impersonality of personal agendas.

only in recent time has the identification of spiritual emergence become popularized, and practiced. yet how few know of it, even as it is as old as human kept time, once understood to insure proper maturing growth free of entanglements in false ideation.

we look outward and suppose that technology is our saving grace, to do less with the help of so much that takes away from our much (life) compressed into so little real personal time for honest reflection. this is the nature of societal entanglement in externalized ideation/s (now globalized through technology), and the catalyst which will, as mass crisis, unfolding as we speak, our disentanglement from our thoughted selves.

is this a bad or evil thing? certainly not. it is merely timely as we becoming us. kinda like the echoed returning 'boom' of the original 'BOOM'.

tim

[farewell2arms]

And just like that curiosity comes crashing into my life, dusts me off and brings me back again.

Hallelujah. 8)

[Beekeeper]

Yes. I have an idea that I will dissappear more and more, until nothing remains. There can be no hope; it is attachment. Perhaps then there can be everything and nothing. I do not know. I guess I am scared because I do not have any clue where I am in my development. Being present was my idea of a measuring stick, and now I am almost not present at all. I used to be able to stay present for almost a whole day when I pushed. Now, I suppose I would think I have moved backwards, as ridiculous as that mindly concept would seem, it's constantly being disproved by the present, which I have realized it the only thing that is.

edit: Another thing comes to mind: I have had a strong desire for growth. That is my main attachment. So it's desire for sexual energy (kundalini) ?


I read something yesterday that is for you (and Tim too, if he wishes):

Don't worry what the world thinks. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. This means that as long as you are on this planet, you are here to deliver your gifts, your talents and yours skills with confidence and inner authority, withholding nothing. This is when you are living full out, moving in the reality of love, affluence, and artistry of being. Your radical aliveness not only affects your individual life but the planet as we know it
Michael Bernard Beckwith, Spiritual Liberation.

Perhaps your approach, while it worked for some, is not geared towards you and, therefore, not entirely liberating for you. There should be joy for you, not sense of failure. More...

Remember, no outside source is bestowing anything upon you, nor is there a godhead to supplicate, to give you special grace to shorten your training. There is no God to please, appease or displease because the Spirit has already given you all that you require for the journey. You are already in the temple which requires that you bow down to nothing except the divinity of your own being. Jesus never knelt down before a cross, Buddha never bowed to a statue, and Krishna never worshipped an external deity.

You are a conscious magnetic field capable of drawing to yourself all that is required to train in Reality Consciousness
pp 140-141

I'm trying to say, accept the wonderful job you are doing with yourself and be prepared to realise that there are many ways towards enlightenment but that these ways should be suited to the individual and that an individual is free to follow his own inspiration as he seeks whatever it is he seeks.

I certainly cannot maintain complete awareness day and night.

The snake is beautiful with his patterns and his colours that combine aspects of heaven and earth. He should not be shrinking, but rather shedding a new skin whenever he needs to grow. Beating is violence and the priestess is ruthless and cruel. Museums remind us of high culture from the past but some elements of the past are also viewed as barbarism.

The snake can be kundalini, life force, sexual energy, creative force. This is supposed to be expressed authentically, not beaten into submission.

[farewell2arms]

Thank you Beekeeper, and Tim.

I will take this and remember it.

I just found out about something called self-inquiry. This seems like what's next: I have actually been doing that the last couple of days, without realizing it.

Be well,

John

[Tutor]

Thanks BeeKeeper,

yep, applies to me also. I seem to be self-caught inside a transparent bubble and I fear that the thinning layer between myself and the world is going to pop. i want it to pop, yet at the same time i need it to be there. it is strange, to say the least.

i can recall when this bubble's wall was dark and I couldn't see through it at all. at first it was pitch darkness inside as well, but ever so slowly a light began to glow, ever so faint and frail at first.

it was most comforting, that faint glow, as if to nurture from within.

it is almost as frightening to arrive at thinned transparency as it is to have endured pitch darkness prior to that faint glow. though, not as excruciating, it is cause for deep resonant trembling.

i totally relate to what John is going through and feeling, and it is why i yack at him so. i can articulate like a madman, but it isn't sign that i am advanced to any degree of knowing what the hell i am saying, most of the time. it really is an emotionally motivated dialectic which i write.

as soon as i sense mental intent in it i let it go, because it seems to me to have become corrupted. this same 'sense' is my reluctance that is frightened of the bubble's wall popping. because i feel the world at large operable of mental intent.

and it is by mental intent that i return to edit and/or delete. having exited the emotional zone which wrote whatever, i then feel exposed to the realm of mentalism which reads my reply/post from intent.

so i say to myself, that whatever i wrote is for whomever, say like this time to John, and John has read what i had written, and following, it bears upon me to delete what John, or anyone else, has read and reciprocated to.

perhaps the mental return is as paranoia|delusion, yet the original writing is metanoia|birthing of true feeling, emotionally rendered.

like so many who awaken in life, the life preceding this event had been one of much [seeming] abusiveness, beginning in childhood, seeded and growing toward the climactic event of spiritual arousal. my childhood was one of enduring verbal/physical abuse, which i recognized as an adult just enough to not pass the bulk of it onward, though doing the 'asshole' was an art form as me.

[seeming] - meaning that it had been taken as personal - belonging to me as if it were me without a say in it. dis-ease, mal-function, illness instead beingness

what i did not recognize, however, was the unseen emotional wounds and scarring [seemingly] within myself, a personality working overtime to maintain [seeming] integrity and not fly apart. i had adopted a hard and rigid exterior, intimidatingly meeting the world, non-intimate to ward off entrys into my brokenness so strained and fragilely holding together. but to myself i was normal, this was the me i knew but had zero understanding about, as to why, how, where, when, what, who...etc.

now, this actually worked to my favor in the work-a-day world, along with my over-achiever attitude hell bent not to fail. I always ended up in positions of leadership with my no nonsense and get it done attitude. i worked with a zen quality that fluidly organized and work for me came easy and felt freeing.

anyways, in the military i exceled, but also in my military experiences arrived that which ole tim would not be able to endure, not be able to pack in so tightly hidden away and pretend was not there. well, i did pull it off for about 9 years following discharge, but it was like a vicious blackdog right on my heals, and i knew it, and i ran like a s.o.b. from it.

finally it caught me, it had me for keeps, and i broke like a house flying apart in a tornado. adding here that the vicious dog turned out to be a puppy just wanting to be recognized and loved, but who knew, not me.

well, upon that breaking, i found myself in the deep darkness of terrifying 'reality'. i always find it interesting how folks yearn for and seek out this illustrious 'reality'. lord have mercy on em, is all i can say to them. i here jack nicholsan saying "The Truth? You can't handle the Truth!!!".

'reality' in no way, fashion or form looks anything like one might imagine, simply because it is about the person and everything that here to fore has given to them their person. spirituality is about YOU and like you've said BeeKeeper, it aint about a God accepting you based upon some issuance of criteria with which to measure up to. it is souly and soley about YOU.

philosophy and religion, do however, present some great languages with which to orient what a YOU is within the overall scheme of all things considered, mystically speaking that is. the hard core worldy approach, i fear, is as misleading as the whole life which delivers one to the event of awakening.

we quite 'literally' aint got a clue what the hell we are a doing, in taking 'it' of 'life' as a literal agency, or that which might be solved in the written and read word. simply because the literal has to be lifted off the page, subsumed within, and utilized toward organization of 'chaos rules' formative of 'literality' which is no way resembles 'reality'.

'reality' is about 'being', while 'literality' alone is about 'doing'. however, if one can awaken this 'being', believe it or not, doing hence forth has little to whatsoever do with 'literality'.

am i a philosophical and religious person? yes I am, utilizing the languages supportive of interior understanding, wherefrom the exterior might be understood in all of its nefarious forms.

'nefarious' herein to mean 'mis-understood' and thereby mis-appropriated authoritatively as out-forming societal/cultural rules/laws, prejudicial to actual understanding of true meanings and purposes that are only within to be understood.

though, i've found, that understanding does not end 'fear'. fear is natural and it is common sense at a foundational base. so i am a fearful fella, but i dont 'intend' to throw up yet another intimidating facade with which to hide behind.

but i am emotionally motivated to step out and back into, as comfort would inwardly suggest. emotions must be honored, if we do not honor them, then mentations immediately go to work in construction of a hard shell of protection. this is an automatic reaction, needing no conscious permission. this is the beginnings of actual 'permissiveness', because what is erected for protection is also calling to be assaulted from within to without, because it is artificiality.

anger, anger is a rightful feeling, that if honored, speaks it's mind assertively. otherwise, one is left to passive aggressive reactivity of mental retreat and attack.

were not for the chemical brain/body releases and irreparable nervous system damage, i would function better. however, the physical body can bounce back only so much, when it has without understanding taken so much, [seeming] or not. yet, it is the physical which carrys the yoked burden of 'literality'. this just as hebrew lore would have it, that the first Torah scrolls were written upon the inside face of actual human flesh. but, i suppose this to be an analogous rendering of literal words to reveal that literality is always facing inward toward reality's face staring outward.

lordy, i do go on....sorry.

tim

[Beekeeper]

No, Tim. It was a good rave. I'm on the hop but I'll be back soon to say a thing or two in response.

I highly recommend self-inquiry, dear John. :D

Back now...


like so many who awaken in life, the life preceding this event had been one of much [seeming] abusiveness, beginning in childhood, seeded and growing toward the climactic event of spiritual arousal. my childhood was one of enduring verbal/physical abuse, which i recognized as an adult just enough to not pass the bulk of it onward, though doing the 'ar$eh0le' was an art form as me.


:lol: I think it's something like a quarter of people who are statistically said to have such a childhood. I still find the way my parents interact with me (and others) abusive but the difference is I can remove myself from it. I also see where it originates better than I ever did.

My sister's psychiatrist recommended that she exclude my father from her life permanently after she read an abusive letter to her. She said she'd never witnessed such parental cruelty before. Alas, he's too old to use his fists these days and so he resorts to his sharpest weapon- his intellect.

I think we all pass through degrees of ar$eholedom on our way to better things.


[seeming] - meaning that it had been taken as personal - belonging to me as if it were me without a say in it. dis-ease, mal-function, illness instead beingness

what i did not recognize, however, was the unseen emotional wounds and scarring [seemingly] within myself, a personality working overtime to maintain [seeming] integrity and not fly apart. i had adopted a hard and rigid exterior, intimidatingly meeting the world, non-intimate to ward off entrys into my brokenness so strained and fragilely holding together. but to myself i was normal, this was the me i knew but had zero understanding about, as to why, how, where, when, what, who...etc.

This is everywhere, isn't it? You detect it in yourself and so you can detect it in others and this may lead to compassion, which is a good thing. Best to meet the shadow rather than be ever grappling. People don't always appreciate that these realisations are spiritual work and often occur before the person even identifies himself as having embarked upon such a journey.


now, this actually worked to my favor in the work-a-day world, along with my over-achiever attitude hell bent not to fail. I always ended up in positions of leadership with my no nonsense and get it done attitude. i worked with a zen quality that fluidly organized and work for me came easy and felt freeing.

anyways, in the military i exceled, but also in my military experiences arrived that which ole tim would not be able to endure, not be able to pack in so tightly hidden away and pretend was not there. well, i did pull it off for about 9 years following discharge, but it was like a vicious blackdog right on my heals, and i knew it, and i ran like a s.o.b. from it.

finally it caught me, it had me for keeps, and i broke like a house flying apart in a tornado. adding here that the vicious dog turned out to be a puppy just wanting to be recognized and loved, but who knew, not me.

Our experiences are challenging while we're here. They seem to return to confront us, even when we think we have them licked. I hope this isn't what karma is about. I hope when we're no longer here we can detach from such things and say, "Wow, what a ride that was!"


well, upon that breaking, i found myself in the deep darkness of terrifying 'reality'. i always find it interesting how folks yearn for and seek out this illustrious 'reality'. lord have mercy on em, is all i can say to them. i here jack nicholsan saying "The Truth? You can't handle the Truth!!!".


I was teaching my Year 9s the meaning of the word catharsis within the context of a film unit today. I explained that we often enjoy the way a movie, play, poem or novel will allow us to feel extreme emotions: heart wrenching sorrow; fuming anger; side-splitting laughter; suspense; relief, excitement. I suggested that, perhaps because of evolutionary process, we're hardwired to want to live fully in emotions at times and that what we need at any given time might vary. Peace is nice too though. 8)


philosophy and religion, do however, present some great languages with which to orient what a YOU is within the overall scheme of all things considered, mystically speaking that is. the hard core worldy approach, i fear, is as misleading as the whole life which delivers one to the event of awakening.

I agree, no one way has all the answers.


but i am emotionally motivated to step out and back into, as comfort would inwardly suggest. emotions must be honored, if we do not honor them, then mentations immediately go to work in construction of a hard shell of protection. this is an automatic reaction, needing no conscious permission. this is the beginnings of actual 'permissiveness', because what is erected for protection is also calling to be assaulted from within to without, because it is artificiality.

Yes.


anger, anger is a rightful feeling, that if honored, speaks it's mind assertively. otherwise, one is left to passive aggressive reactivity of mental retreat and attack.

Anger is a complex issue. It is a very good subject for self-inquiry, I feel. :D I'm still childish in my anger at times but at least I can laugh at myself when I'm over my self-pity. :D


were not for the chemical brain/body releases and irreparable nervous system damage, i would function better

These human bodies are a damn challenge and it doesn't help when one has experienced trauma and triggered a bunch of genes and sent a bunch of neurones off in various directions!


however, the physical body can bounce back only so much, when it has without understanding taken so much, [seeming] or not. yet, it is the physical which carrys the yoked burden of 'literality'. this just as hebrew lore would have it, that the first Torah scrolls were written upon the inside face of actual human flesh.

Eww :lol:

but, i suppose this to be an analogous rendering of literal words to reveal that literality is always facing inward toward reality's face staring outward.

lordy, i do go on....sorry.

Namaste. :D

[CFTraveler]

I think we all pass through degrees of ar$eholedom on our way to better things. Preserved for posterity. :D

[Tutor]

BeeKeeper,

Thanks for the reply Friend.

:D ok, my curiosity is aroused :wink: ...translate 'a good rave' and 'on the hop'. lol

tim

[Beekeeper]

A "good rave" = a good long natter/chat/discourse. :lol:

"On the hop" = in a hurry to be somewhere else I'm supposed to be (i.e. my piano lesson :wink: )

[farewell2arms]

I had another snake dream this night.

It was a rattlesnake, black and red, lying on the fringe of a parking lot, among the grass and weeds. There was a small trodden path there, which I was passing by on. I tried to walk silently and not disturb the snake, but it lashed out and bit me in the shin. I ran from it but it chased me. It was hard to run and there was something wierd with the pacing, too. One moment the snake seemed move slowly forward and the next it would make a giant leap ahead.

It seemed as if we moved in sync here, I was able to speed up when it moved fast aswell. I made it out onto the asphalt of the parking lot with my shin bitten. Then the scenery changed.

--

I was in a supermarket, in line for the cashier. There were long lines of people at every cashier. I didn't feel like buying anything, yet still I was in line. Just when I was about to reach the cashier they closed down. I felt robbed and let down.

I walked out towards the exit and suddenly the place turned into a dinner party, a banquet. Near the entrace/exit there were lots of bars serving whisky and fine brandy. I was entitled to it all but I still felt like there was nothing to buy there. I even had a coupon for a freebie, I think, but I never used it. I bumped into a lot of people, the place was crammed. Then I woke up.

Hope you can make something of this. :)

Cheers,

John

[Tutor]

Hi John,

i think this is a wonderful dream/s. seems the overall emphasis was on what does "wanting nothing" mean. from where does such a desire emerge, that would want nothing of this?

tim

[Tutor]

John,

You ok?

tim

[farewell2arms]

Yes Tim! I'm doing better and better.

More and more, there is the understanding of the underlying emptiness of everything drawn from thoughts. It settle in quite steadily last night, it's morning here now so I haven't had the chance yet to examine it all further.

But I understand this... even the thought of the word "thought" is just... useless. (What the hell is a thought? :lol:) Thoughts seem nothing more than a rough stone surface, pictured in my mind, nothing grows there. All thoughts look the same if viewed this way, it's just noise, texture.

However, there is still unconsciousness in the present moment, a lot actually. Sometimes throughout the day I will "rewind" into old habits. I'll wake up and realize I've been gone for 20 mins. This happens mostly when watching TV or reading books. Then there will be a strong urge to "work" to achieve something. "Oh no, I have to..."
At these times, I "Just stop looking" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdzPp9cRKN0


There is of course pain and suffering, every day. However, I have understood how this can be minimized. It becomes simpler and simpler to just let it be what it is. Sometimes I can just say: "I'm okay with being sad and with being in pain. It's not so bad." and it turns into pure sensation, no better or worse than anything else (well, perhaps that's a stretch, but I'm moving in that direction).

How can life be anything but what it is? It can't, and I'm in it. So it's really about accepting myself as I am.


Cheers

John!

[Tutor]

John,

wow, given the explanative youtube video, my worry is abated. :D

this 'want nothing' desire entangled with thoughts can become self destructive, very quickly. is why i asked for clarification. thanks John, I had not heard of this Lady before.

with this sadness and pain(anguish) you are feeling, i worry about ya. it takes a lot to give to these and it takes a lot out of you. it is like a backwards inward feed, or self-nurture. Pale Horse over in another thread treats this nicely with his words about 'oneness', or the thought/belief in "oneness", as opposed to what is "being one". this is about internal boundaries that manifest healthy indwelling and outlying boundaries. sadness and anguish can get bigger than 'one' is, and in that, crush them from within.

to say no to the rising thoughts that would claim other than one's self within towards nurture, that would from some sense of being greater, nurture more that it's one self within. being singularly human predisposes 'one' to all that which is human, within and without. herein, sadness and anguish need to be 'real'ized for what is you, you being 'one'.

nurture is what makes 'things' grow in the fields of the mind. it is delicate balance, and individually it is one's own secret garden. however, 'real'izing' you and yours is at hand. 'yours' can include others, yet along with healthy boundaries. others held in thought assigned roles are not really others. so there is a distinction there.

thoughts are energy, energy innocent enough, yet the more given to the entertained thought unto action, well then the thought manifests through the human.

one might be good at keeping these thoughts from action that would outwardly manifest. but they might not be good internally with the entertainment arena. this entertainment is about internal boundaries, more important perhaps than boundaries established outwardly. simply because, this entertainment arena is about pure energy which works lawfully, it attracts and repels, or it may be neutral. the same human interaction which presents itself outlying is within us first. so just like one secures their earthly home and hearth from strangers and some not so strange to us from wandering in and out, so does one secure their inner domain, in the establishment of being 'one', as you and yours, as permission to that which comes and goes, as that which is watchfully entertained, and not permissively entertained.

this too, has to do with sadness and anguish, to 'real'ize what is you and yours to be kept for nurture, and what is greater than you that need be kept beyond healthy boundaries and not drain your nurture permissively.

this could very well mean that a loved one in the world need be outed through boundaries. one has to divide the person from the drama of the person, keep the person in their best light as yours, while keeping the drama beyond the boundaries established as being 'one'.

this would be like holding your best of this person as a hopeful prayer, while the yet existing drama outlying is as well beyond the healthy boundaries within and without. thus, it is about saying 'no' to others that would through their drama feed upon you from within and from without.

this is not an easy freeing of one's self, when love is in the gummut within. perhaps the best outcome of all this internalized realness, is that while outing this and that, one also realizes where themself in the relative world, is relating in an unhealthy manner that drains another from their within domain. human beingness is interconnectivity. it may be co-dependent, or interdependent, of it may be as aloof as 'one' being momentarily chooses it to be.

we all tag each other in life, saying "your it". like children, we dont always realize what this "being it" is until the play reveals the scope of all participant agendas. being aloof is being 'one', having no participant agenda. folks dont tag what they cant see, and folks can see a heart worn outlying on the sleeve, and may quick to get a share. this doesnt advocate being heartless, it just advocates not being careless to the point of getting used up.

take care of you John,

tim

[farewell2arms]

Thanks Tim. :D