Best cure for my social phobia?

[magic]

Perhaps this might not have anything to do with healing directly but I thought I should ask about what you think is the best cure for social phobia?
I feel very uncomfortable talking in a large group when everyone is looking at me, even small groups of friends can be difficult, and even when I talk to just a single person sitting at a table I dont want to continue the conversation for very long
If people around us is focusing on our conversation.

It´s been this way my entire life, (my brother has similar problems but he says he has overcome some of them by visting a "shrink" but thats not for me)

What do you think Is a good plan of attack for me?
I need something that can change my being from the core and not a quick fix (I did some energy work which can help, but It´s not really a lasting effect, It´s just a "band-aid" for my problems)
The best thing if there was exercises where I could do my myself at home.

Any good tips?

/Magic

[Beekeeper]

Therapy would probably be quicker than mastering lucid dreaming in order to practise the social confidence you desire but doing a search on Google for "Improving self-confidence" would probably be cheaper and let you specifically choose the techniques you wish to try.

[heliac]

Hi Magic,

I think beekeeper is right.For something like social phobia you may need to see a therapist. I know there is a stigma attached to doing so but you know just about everyone out there has something they need to iron out and there is nothing wrong at all with reaching out and getting some help.In the long run you will feel a lot better if you do.

Cognitive behavior therapy is known to work very well with social phobia. Look into finding someone legitimate who specializes in that.

[magic]

Thanks for the replies, i just dont know If I could expose myself and every feeling inside me to a therapist, I´m a very secretive person so that would be a huge step for me.
But I will take your suggestions under advisement.

Every day at work when sitting in with my coworkers, I´m not comfortable, Is there anything I train to do better in those situations, as I said I don´t really like people listening in
when I have a conversation with one person, adressing several people is something I can hardly do.

The thing is also, I like being alone and having my quit space, I just don´t know how much that is really me wanting it or the phobia demanding it if you know what I mean

/Magic

[Neil Templar]

i'd suggest getting hold of Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now, or, A New Earth...
seems to me that issues of self consciousness are egoic in nature.
i certainly know from my own experience, that getting to know, and quieting the ego has helped me get over a huge amount of self-conscious-ness...it's provided a freedom i never was able to enjoy.

[heliac]

Thanks for the replies, i just dont know If I could expose myself and every feeling inside me to a therapist, I´m a very secretive person so that would be a huge step for me.
But I will take your suggestions under advisement.

Every day at work when sitting in with my coworkers, I´m not comfortable, Is there anything I train to do better in those situations, as I said I don´t really like people listening in
when I have a conversation with one person, adressing several people is something I can hardly do.

The thing is also, I like being alone and having my quit space, I just don´t know how much that is really me wanting it or the phobia demanding it if you know what I mean

/Magic

Thanks for the replies, i just dont know If I could expose myself and every feeling inside me to a therapist, I´m a very secretive person so that would be a huge step for me.
But I will take your suggestions under advisement.

Every day at work when sitting in with my coworkers, I´m not comfortable, Is there anything I train to do better in those situations, as I said I don´t really like people listening in
when I have a conversation with one person, adressing several people is something I can hardly do.

The thing is also, I like being alone and having my quit space, I just don´t know how much that is really me wanting it or the phobia demanding it if you know what I mean

/Magic
Hi Magic,

About exposing yourself:
I understand what you mean. With Cognitive Behavior Therapy the approach is more focused on dealing directly with the issue at hand as opposed to diving into stuff that happened to you in your past and associating the issue with how your parents, friends, god/devil, leprechauns,past lives etc, treated you. I guess it is more like you are taught skills on how to address the anxiety now and then with time repetition and practice you start to think and feel differently.You kind of empower yourself with a set of tools to work out the anxiety.You don't have to necessarily expose your secrets to a therapist if you don't want to, the method should work regardless.But should you feel like putting yourself out there a little bit I'm sure a good therapist would listen.

About co-workers:
It can be tough because the anxiety can take over and it can feel like the only thing you can focus on is the anxiety itself. You can try distracting yourself from the anxiety. As soon as you notice it creeping in tell yourself mentally to STOP, acknowledge to yourself that what you are thinking or feeling is not healthy and not how you want to behave.

Begin to take notice of when you are feeling the anxiety and immediately start doing something else or thinking something else to get your mind off of it.

I don't think there is really any quick fix though. It just takes work, and it can be a lot to digest so it's best left to the professionals.

Here is a link for some more info and a little blurb on how to find help with this as well as a slew of other informational links.
http://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/define.html

[Palehorse Redivivus]

Hi Magic,

On the suggestion of Beekeeper I thought I'd link you to one of my old posts about fixing connections between the throat chakra and others being responsible for a lot of improved communication issues.

viewtopic.php?f=20&t=15220 (http://forums.astraldynamics.com/viewtopic.php?f=20&t=15220)

As for public speaking, I may or may not be able to help ya there, because I have the same thing going on. For some reason I'll sing onstage and have it be fun and enjoyable, but ask me to give a speech and I die a little inside. :P At my best energetically, I would be able to be pretty conversational and even do something like tell a story in a small group, but a speech in front of any sort of audience would be where my system goes "nuh-uh." With the energetic connections in good shape that may or may not get better with practice, but speeches in general are not on my list o' things to do, so others would have to look into that one.