stargazer
17th March 2006, 01:25 AM
Last night I tried a bit of trance meditation before bedtime. (Yeah, yeah.. it's the only time I have to practice, which is partly why I fall asleep so much.) I haven't experienced trance yet, but I'm at the point where I can balance on the fulcrum of awake/asleep longer. Usually what happens is I reach a point where I'm at almost zero body awareness but still awake, and I start to hear hypnagogic voices and the like... at this point I struggle to stay awake but usually end up falling asleep.
Anyways last night I did some energy work and during one of those "tip towards sleep, tip towards awake" moments, I was aware of a lot of energy rushing down towards my feet, it was a really cool sensation so rather than wake myself up, I tried to stay tipped towards the sleep side while staying aware of the energy sensations. It's always a bit cool to see what your energy body is up to when you're not always watching it, LOL. I'm having a lot of those "What the heck are you DOING while I'm away!" kind of moments with my energy body lately, lol. I came a bit more awake and started to open my eyes and see more of that peachy red energy wreathing my body that seems to happen a lot when I'm practicing trance meditation, and rather than be startled by it I tried to prolong being able to see it. I hope I'm making some progress in the trance department.
Anyways, I got up and went to bed and neglected to take my anxiety medication, which tends to keep away anxiety dreams. So I was in the middle of having this dream about someone pulling this ugly, white, lumpy leech like object either off of themselves or off of me, I can't recall... but I remember feeling abject loathing for this thing. They were holding it close for me to look at, and it seems like I touched it when I didn't really intend to. Bleghkkk. So I dropped it into a bowl and was spitting out similar white pieces of something or other into the bowl. (This is a really common anxiety dream for me, to have something caught in my mouth that I'm trying to spit out, or I'm spitting out teeth, or my teeth are falling out, etc. etc.) Then, I extended my hands towards the ick in the bowl and tried to light it on fire. I kept trying and trying and trying, flinging my hands towards the bowl, and somehow that process and that frustration made me go lucid. I was seriously frustrated.. this is MY DREAM. LIGHT ON FIRE. LIGHT ON FIRE. LIGHT ON FIRE. I just couldn't seem to make anything happen. I glanced over to a mirror at my left (Yay mirrors!) and my expression looked kinda "puffy" like I had just woken up, with messy bed head.
I was about 50% lucid at this point, and I remember standing up and scrambling over a counter. When my feet touched down on the kitchen floor on the other side of the counter, I went close to 100% lucid. I considered trying Kalonek's falling forward technique but figured that it was a little too dark when I went to bed to want to attempt an early OBE (I should have tried it though, because it was actually 5am and lightening when I went to bed) But I found that something else was going on so I sorta didn't need to.
Basically, as I was standing there in this kitchen looking towards this doorway, I felt like some parts of my body were solid, and some parts were "blurry." I could feel vibrations in some areas of my limbs and not in others. My vision was also blurry. Oh, I thought, I need to call more energy from my physical body to strengthen my vision and my "there"ness, because it felt like the blurry parts of me weren't quite there. This was a very strong, physical "resonating/vibrating" sensation and I was 100% convinced that I was doing something interesting and OBE-related and just didn't have the energy reserves to accomplish it. Of course, the process of trying to strengthen my "there"ness by pulling more energy from my physical body just woke me up, but still a very interesting experience.
ETA: Well, the more I think about it... the kitchen I was standing in was my own. It was just from a different angle than I expected, and seemed to look different, so I thought it wasn't, but I'm realizing that the counter I climbed over was this counter/ledge we have in our living room, and that I was facing towards the glass sliding doors with the blinds, and the table, watching the sun come up. Interesting. While the overall picture / orientation of the kitchen seemed different (i.e. I thought I was facing towards the back of a house, when my glass doors face the side of the house), it shouldn't really matter if the orientation felt north / south of east / west... what's important is that the details matched. How strange to be unable to recognize something so familiar, but then again that's matched my previous astral experiences.. I look at something that's familiar to my physical life and don't recognize it at the time.
Anyways last night I did some energy work and during one of those "tip towards sleep, tip towards awake" moments, I was aware of a lot of energy rushing down towards my feet, it was a really cool sensation so rather than wake myself up, I tried to stay tipped towards the sleep side while staying aware of the energy sensations. It's always a bit cool to see what your energy body is up to when you're not always watching it, LOL. I'm having a lot of those "What the heck are you DOING while I'm away!" kind of moments with my energy body lately, lol. I came a bit more awake and started to open my eyes and see more of that peachy red energy wreathing my body that seems to happen a lot when I'm practicing trance meditation, and rather than be startled by it I tried to prolong being able to see it. I hope I'm making some progress in the trance department.
Anyways, I got up and went to bed and neglected to take my anxiety medication, which tends to keep away anxiety dreams. So I was in the middle of having this dream about someone pulling this ugly, white, lumpy leech like object either off of themselves or off of me, I can't recall... but I remember feeling abject loathing for this thing. They were holding it close for me to look at, and it seems like I touched it when I didn't really intend to. Bleghkkk. So I dropped it into a bowl and was spitting out similar white pieces of something or other into the bowl. (This is a really common anxiety dream for me, to have something caught in my mouth that I'm trying to spit out, or I'm spitting out teeth, or my teeth are falling out, etc. etc.) Then, I extended my hands towards the ick in the bowl and tried to light it on fire. I kept trying and trying and trying, flinging my hands towards the bowl, and somehow that process and that frustration made me go lucid. I was seriously frustrated.. this is MY DREAM. LIGHT ON FIRE. LIGHT ON FIRE. LIGHT ON FIRE. I just couldn't seem to make anything happen. I glanced over to a mirror at my left (Yay mirrors!) and my expression looked kinda "puffy" like I had just woken up, with messy bed head.
I was about 50% lucid at this point, and I remember standing up and scrambling over a counter. When my feet touched down on the kitchen floor on the other side of the counter, I went close to 100% lucid. I considered trying Kalonek's falling forward technique but figured that it was a little too dark when I went to bed to want to attempt an early OBE (I should have tried it though, because it was actually 5am and lightening when I went to bed) But I found that something else was going on so I sorta didn't need to.
Basically, as I was standing there in this kitchen looking towards this doorway, I felt like some parts of my body were solid, and some parts were "blurry." I could feel vibrations in some areas of my limbs and not in others. My vision was also blurry. Oh, I thought, I need to call more energy from my physical body to strengthen my vision and my "there"ness, because it felt like the blurry parts of me weren't quite there. This was a very strong, physical "resonating/vibrating" sensation and I was 100% convinced that I was doing something interesting and OBE-related and just didn't have the energy reserves to accomplish it. Of course, the process of trying to strengthen my "there"ness by pulling more energy from my physical body just woke me up, but still a very interesting experience.
ETA: Well, the more I think about it... the kitchen I was standing in was my own. It was just from a different angle than I expected, and seemed to look different, so I thought it wasn't, but I'm realizing that the counter I climbed over was this counter/ledge we have in our living room, and that I was facing towards the glass sliding doors with the blinds, and the table, watching the sun come up. Interesting. While the overall picture / orientation of the kitchen seemed different (i.e. I thought I was facing towards the back of a house, when my glass doors face the side of the house), it shouldn't really matter if the orientation felt north / south of east / west... what's important is that the details matched. How strange to be unable to recognize something so familiar, but then again that's matched my previous astral experiences.. I look at something that's familiar to my physical life and don't recognize it at the time.