Leland Negs and Chewing out Mother

[eyeoneblack]

I have never given much thought to negative energies/entities as this sort of thing has not been a problem in my dream life. I imagine they just stay away from me because I can have a bit of a temper and won't put up with anything nasty or hostile - with any threats at all. This attitude comes from a sure knowledge that I am bigger and stronger. The neg's are the lost ones, not me.

I've gone so far in the past to invite a 'demon' that was bothering a young girl friend of mine to pay me a visit, but he never showed up. But lately a couple or three things have come together to cause me to wonder again in a more subtle way. One, I've been reading Leland's The Unanswered Question and his theories on discharging negative emotions back into the physical via a physical body. Two, I've been noticing in my posts here a dark and maybe angry sentiment coming through that often embarrasses me the next day. :oops:

And three, I have been visited on a number of occasions by my recently deceased mother (she passed away last December very quickly) and it doesn't go at all well. This morning I'm having my usual freight train of dreams that occurs after I've woken up and gone back to sleep, when I find myself in an old mansion in disrepair and with scant furnishings. My mother was there. I imagine this setting is her 'Sunset Boulevard' that was inevitable as result of the was she lived her life here on Earth. I don't remember the 'story' of the dream because on waking I tossed it out of mind rather than writing it down, but I do remember giving her a good chewing out. :evil:

When Mother was living among us I tried my darn level best to point her in a more spiritual direction, but she was obstinate and I suppose sold on the idea that she was absolved of her sins past present and future because the church she gave money to told her so. Anyway, I put a finger in her face and gave her the 'what for'.

On another occasion I was even more vehement screaming at her that she was a 'dog' and to 'get out of the house'. I'm getting a sense that she, this, is affecting my waking life and certainly my peace of mind.

What are the dynamics here and what should I do about it? Am I helping her by channeling her anger? I should have known when she drew her last breath that would not be the end of it. :!:

[ButterflyWoman]

My parents are both living, but we are estranged and we live in different countries (and on different continents). That, of course, hasn't stopped them from turning up in my dreams, something I have always found repugnant and disturbing (I don't think they do it consciously or deliberately, but I do know the difference between a dream-construct parent and the psychic presence of one of them, particularly my father, who is a strong but very repressed psychic).

What I had to do was go through the emotional/mental ritual of cutting all ties to my parents, and then I had to put up very specific and permanent psychic sheilds against both of them, because I found that cutting the ties caused quite a backlash (from them, not some kind of karmic thing; they didn't react well, despite the fact that I hadn't spoken to either of them in years).

I would recommend going through the cord-cutting process, and be ready to throw up a psychic shield immediately. You may need to specify your mother's name for it (I did with both my parents). See if it helps.

I will note that since I finally got all psychic cords, bonds, ties, whatever to my parents severed and got the shields energised, I have had NO dreams where they showed up. I've had a few with "dream construct" images of them, but none where one or another of them invaded my dream space to pester me, try to siphon my energy, etc.

Personally, I'm a big fan of routine psychic shielding in ALL situations. It can't possibly hurt anything, and an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, as they say. (I also have my home and property warded, but you may not need to go that far; I just like the privacy and the peace and quiet that comes with a well-warded home ;))

[Korpo]

Hello, E1B.

You could use exercises to clear out the resentment. However, what might have even be more helpful is understanding how your mother arrived where she ended more deeply, what motivated her, what lessons she confronted, where she failed and where she succeeded, and also why. Coming to a deeper understanding of someone else in the past has helped me move past resentment. See where they are, as clearly as you can. You usually learn something about yourself in the process, too.

It could for example be that for your mother donating was her best bet because so many things were left undone it simply seemed too overwhelming to tackle. When people get in touch with the shape of their lives, possibly decades of unlearned lessons, this surely can make them afraid or make expending effort seem futile. If you stand in front of a huge pile and somebody hands you a toy shovel and tells you to dig, how many people would rather argue and rationalise instead of do what needs to be done?

In a sense you tried to act as your mother's spiritual teacher, trying to impress on her why it is important to do the work. You know and feel how important it is to do the work. But your chosen method was confrontation, and this so easily devolves into a contest of wills. The reasoning behind this is kind of like "The truth shall set you free." However, the truth needs not only be spoken, but also be heard. Too often it falls on deaf ears, and they cannot be forced open. Confrontation creates resistance and rationalization.

This is not a judgement of you. What could you have done? Possibly not much. That's free will for you. Force does not work, no matter what the intention. Good example might work, being a teacher by being a role model. But there's no guarantee. Part of the resentment might be about realising that you cannot save another person from the consequences of their own decisions. Or better: resisting that realisation.

When we realise we cannot save another person we become resentful against them for their failings and against ourselves ultimately, too, for our failing. Forgive others and forgive yourself. Try to find the lessons to be learned here, there is much to be gained here for your own growth process towards being a spiritual teacher.

When you realise where she was when she left, in what place, what shape her life was, you might feel compassion for her, feel sorry. And if you see her in the mansion again, you might be able to move a step forward in restoring her. It will also help clear your mind, I think.

Be well,
Oliver

[ButterflyWoman]

Hmm. Reading Oliver's post makes me feel all mean and stuff. :lol: :twisted:

I do want to comment that forgiveness certainly is extremely powerful. Forgiveness is not about saying "it's okay", nor is it necessarily about reconciliation. To forgive is to let go, and reclaim the energy (emotion, psychic energy, etc.) that you've put into resentment, bitterness, fear, anger, whatever it is that you're harbouring. Forgiveness is for YOU, and it's very healing and very empowering. It can be tricky to break the patterns of thought that lead us to grudge-holding and so on, but recovering that energy is well worth it, and I certainly recommend it.

That said, I have forgiven my parents, I do understand what they were and are about, I have some pity for them (particularly my mother), and I STILL don't want any dealings with them, physical or psychic. Hence the cord-cutting and the shielding. In fact, I wasn't able to achieve forgiveness until I did go through the cord-cutting process, and until I did have shielding in place. It was only when they were no longer able to psychically interfere with me and my healing process that I was able to really let go, forgive, and move on.

Cut cords, shield, forgive. That is an absolutely solid and time-proven path to self-healing and inner peace.

[Korpo]

Hmm. Reading Oliver's post makes me feel all mean and stuff. :lol: :twisted:

We cross-posted anyway. :)

Oliver

[ButterflyWoman]

We cross-posted anyway. :)
I know. It's all good. ;)

[eyeoneblack]

Thank you guys! :D Gotta run, back in a bit - all good thoughts.

Mean ole Richard :lol:

[CFTraveler]

I am going to say that I didn't read anyone else's posts, so forgive me if I sound repetitive or even maudlin. I might, not sure where this is going to go yet.

I have never given much thought to negative energies/entities as this sort of thing has not been a problem in my dream life. I imagine they just stay away from me because I can have a bit of a temper and won't put up with anything nasty or hostile - with any threats at all. This attitude comes from a sure knowledge that I am bigger and stronger. The neg's are the lost ones, not me.

I've gone so far in the past to invite a 'demon' that was bothering a young girl friend of mine to pay me a visit, but he never showed up. But lately a couple or three things have come together to cause me to wonder again in a more subtle way. One, I've been reading Leland's The Unanswered Question and his theories on discharging negative emotions back into the physical via a physical body. Two, I've been noticing in my posts here a dark and maybe angry sentiment coming through that often embarrasses me the next day. :oops: Hey Richard.
I have to say that this side of you I had never encountered, and it surprised me. After reading this post I can understand it better, and empathize, because I'm going through something similar.


And three, I have been visited on a number of occasions by my recently deceased mother (she passed away last December very quickly) and it doesn't go at all well. This morning I'm having my usual freight train of dreams that occurs after I've woken up and gone back to sleep, when I find myself in an old mansion in disrepair and with scant furnishings. My mother was there. I imagine this setting is her 'Sunset Boulevard' that was inevitable as result of the was she lived her life here on Earth. I don't remember the 'story' of the dream because on waking I tossed it out of mind rather than writing it down, but I do remember giving her a good chewing out. :evil: I think two or three things are happening at the same time- I can see it in you more than I have seen it in myself, so realize I'm projecting some of my own stuff on you- so you know to take it with a grain of salt.



When Mother was living among us I tried my darn level best to point her in a more spiritual direction, but she was obstinate and I suppose sold on the idea that she was absolved of her sins past present and future because the church she gave money to told her so. Anyway, I put a finger in her face and gave her the 'what for'.

On another occasion I was even more vehement screaming at her that she was a 'dog' and to 'get out of the house'. I'm getting a sense that she, this, is affecting my waking life and certainly my peace of mind.

What are the dynamics here and what should I do about it? Am I helping her by channeling her anger? I should have known when she drew her last breath that would not be the end of it. :!: Well, it seems like you had a codependent relationship with your mother, and you took the role of the 'spiritual teacher'. I expect this was a reversal of the previous relationship as when you were younger and she taught you. I say this as a mother- we tend to try to instill our beliefs on our children- I know I do this to my son, who does not resist the ideas themselves, but naturally resists me teaching them. As you can see I'm talking about the dynamic itself, not the spiritual ideas themselves.
I suspect this is a very natural course of evolution, I see something similar in everyone. But where the trouble is (or began) is that she passed before you could resolve this part of your lives- there has to be some sort of resolution or balancing between the two, and this probably didn't happen before her passing.
I was a teeny bit more fortunate in that my mother, although possessing many ideas that made me cringe, had a more compatible viewpoint about some things, and it gave us more of a platform in which to exchange ideas. So although our 'stuff' was not resolved, it was not contentious at the time of her passing.
Then I see that something happened- when you take on the role of 'spiritual director', you also push away some characteristics and possibly suppress them. This creates a very strong pain body that 'dissapears' for the time being, but is coming out in spades- because your mom is not there, and you no longer have a reason to suppress it. So you have two or three things happening at the same time-
A suppressed pain body or shadow self coming up and expressing a variety of things- brought out by pain of grief. Very natural but hard to tame, now that it's loose. A beast of sorts.
A set of unresolved things that are not resolvable now that she is gone, related to the dynamic that was your relationship. Yes, they can be resolved, but not until you come to terms with your grief and all the other stuff that has come up, and it's going to take some work. Not easy, that's for sure.
The possibility of this channeled anger adding to everything that is happening with you. Possibly a resonance of sorts- your pain resonating with the channeled emotions that she has no other way of discharging. This can be helped with your speaking to her about this.

All of these things combine to make a difficult situation, but all can be dealt with, piecemeal. I have worked with some of this, and have not resolved a lot, but I have been feeling better after doing some things. If you need more details about some of it please pm me.

ps. I realize I did not address the 'negative entity' part of your post- I do think some negative entities are attracted to you when you're traumatized, and it's possible that what came to you wasn't your mother- I am not sure of that. But if it was a neg some simple clearing and countermeasures should help you to forget about that and deal with the other issues I talked about.

C.

[eyeoneblack]

Wow, each of you - Korpo, CTW, CFT - have something important to add to my thoughts on this situation, but Traveler, you said a word that hit to bone - grief. I've been drumming my fingers on the table wondering if Mother would EVER die and I certainly had no idea that I might experience grief when she did. But it's the same grief I've felt for years. I lost her many many years ago and so got used to the grief that it went underground. But now it's over, truly over and I feel I've lost something i can't name :cry:

That's really hard for me. I have a name for everything or thought I did.

Thanks again guys..

R

Cutting, shielding, forgiving - a new mantra :D

[CFTraveler]

Cutting, shielding, forgiving - a new mantra :D
Don't forget feeling. That's the first one, and the last one you have to apply to yourself as well as her.
Good luck and God Bless.

[eyeoneblack]

Ugh. Travlr, ya just keep nailin' me. On a universal level, yes, I feel compassion for humanity; but on a personal level I just can't do it anymore. Should I? It just doesn't seem I can afford to, I don't have the resources sufficient to feel anymore, well ever. Feeling so overwhelmed me that I just gave it up.

I guess I'm some sort of I-don't-know-what. I hate emotions and sentiment, good and bad, and were it not for this hopefully final issue I think i can rock along the rest of my life without them - at least the sentimental ones. That's the plan :P

[ButterflyWoman]

On a universal level, yes, I feel compassion for humanity; but on a personal level I just can't do it anymore.
I hear ya. But I'm not sure that's what CFT meant. I thought (and I could be wrong; she'll correct me if I am ;)) she meant that you need to feel what you feel first before you release it. Work it through, type of thing.


I guess I'm some sort of I-don't-know-what.
Je ne sais quoi? :)


I hate emotions and sentiment, good and bad, and were it not for this hopefully final issue I think i can rock along the rest of my life without them - at least the sentimental ones.
That's not very likely. The best you can probably hope for is that you will be able to detach from your own emotions sufficiently that you are not directly affected by them in any significant way. But emotions are pretty much part and parcel of the human experience. You might as well say you hope you can live without breathing, or without a body.

By the way, I wholly understand the desire to be free of emotion, so I'm not trying to be unduly negative. I'm just sayin'. ;)

[Tutor]

as men in a "man's world", which is a lie; we as men awaken to the truth that our very reality encircles and is drawn to, how we feel about "Mother", for in those feelings is how we feel about "women" period, and in that is how we relate to very truth within, for any truth is femininely predisposed to us, for as it is, all of us came through mother to get here.

this is often true for females as well, for how they mother, or provide themselves as partner, is about their given mothering during childhood; as well as about their fathers when partner is concerned.

this generational 'contagion", however, is not real, it is merely thought constructed experiential evidence or false evidence appearing real (FEAR), that is yet to be proven as self-evident truth where we may see that it is enough that she bore us. for we'd not even be here to judge her if first not having come through her that we might judge.

discern what is first, and see that judgements are not real, thus having no basis as reality.

get out of the closet! for possession of judgements can only give to anyone an arriving reflection that undeniably states that we are them all over again, such is how the false contagion travels generationally, through the artifice of self denial where self-evident truth may not arrive as present being.

tim

[CFTraveler]

On a universal level, yes, I feel compassion for humanity; but on a personal level I just can't do it anymore.
I hear ya. But I'm not sure that's what CFT meant. I thought (and I could be wrong; she'll correct me if I am ;)) she meant that you need to feel what you feel first before you release it. Work it through, type of thing. Exactamente.

[eyeoneblack]

On a universal level, yes, I feel compassion for humanity; but on a personal level I just can't do it anymore.
I hear ya. But I'm not sure that's what CFT meant. I thought (and I could be wrong; she'll correct me if I am ;)) she meant that you need to feel what you feel first before you release it. Work it through, type of thing.

Yea, well, it didn't matter what she meant. It all worked the same :wink:


I guess I'm some sort of I-don't-know-what.
Je ne sais quoi? :) Ha! You can spell that?! 8)


I hate emotions and sentiment, good and bad, and were it not for this hopefully final issue I think i can rock along the rest of my life without them - at least the sentimental ones.
That's not very likely. The best you can probably hope for is that you will be able to detach from your own emotions sufficiently that you are not directly affected by them in any significant way. But emotions are pretty much part and parcel of the human experience. You might as well say you hope you can live without breathing, or without a body.

That was wishful thinking :roll:

By the way, I wholly understand the desire to be free of emotion, so I'm not trying to be unduly negative. I'm just sayin'. ;)

[eyeoneblack]

CFT. Cross-posts :lol:

[ButterflyWoman]

Je ne sais quoi? :) Ha! You can spell that?! 8)
I had to Google it. ;)

[eyeoneblack]

for possession of judgements can only give to anyone an arriving reflection that undeniably states that we are them all over again, such is how the false contagion travels generationally, through the artifice of self denial where self-evident truth may not arrive as present being.


I have realized that truth for many years, since a point in daughters fathering that I saw my mother in myself and was terrified. At that point I understood I must keep constant vigil, so much so, that in some ways I overreacted in being 'not-mother' to the detriment of being the better father.

That said, for the most part, the chain is broken.

Eye

[CFTraveler]

We've all done that. Just yesterday I was asking myself how much therapy my son was going to need from my 'trying not to be like my parents', and realized that we mess them up no matter how much we try not to. I guess the important thing is that at least we're trying to do it right.

[ButterflyWoman]

I guess the important thing is that at least we're trying to do it right.
And we're willing to admit it, take responsibility for it, and apologise sincerely if we realise we've really screwed something up badly. (That's the thing that irked me the most about my parents. I could have put the past in the past and resumed some kind of relationship with them if they had only been willing to assume some - ANY - damned responsibility instead of just slapping a "crazy, troubled, bad seed" label on me and totally absolving them of any and all wrongdoing.)

[Tutor]

yes E1B, what may one do, but with their own flame of being, be in constant vigil of uprightness, even if/when they themself would stumble and fall.

brother/friend, nearly every day i stumble, tripping upon my very fallible self, falling flat on my hopeful face.

the art of getting back up is our given will from which to do. the art, well that is me and you, and everyone else, getting the hell back up for heaven's sake.

but, in being the understanding fool, embarassment becomes great self-humor.

me thinks without a doubt, i will surely make a fool of me lil ole pin head self before this day is done. so i graciously and understandingly smile now, knowing this damnable truth of my otherwise merciful self.

tim

[eyeoneblack]

Tutor? You truly have a beautiful way of putting things and I'm really grateful when they're not too long :lol:

Thanks for your talent, Tim.

Brother Richard

[eyeoneblack]

Oh, BTW the song that goes "I get knocked down, but I get up again, nothing's going to keep me down" has been going thru my head recently - just a coincidence I guess 8)