GRATITUDE LIST

[buttercup]

-being able to connect and bond with M the last few days
-hopefully maybe being there for her a little bit after the sad news of T passing on
-being done with work and no work tomorrow
-M putting money in my account saturday which made things work out perfectly with all the running around i had to do and then putting more in tonight
-M taking me to do my audits yesterday
-perfect timing with getting to M right at the same time as she arrived on saturday
-great uber rates
-chivalry
-that people think i'm cute
-allowing myself to ponder the R from my past connection. The R who was my first sexual experience. He is the one guy who if me and ex best friend never became a couple years ago,more may have happened with. I've been pondering if R could help me understand the root of some things for me as well to heal.
-throwing away more stuff from ex best friend
-all my outdoor cats. they bring me so much happiness
-putting more money aside to my setaside account and being really close to my savings goal
-going to the movies with M tonight
-that I should probably get a check or two tomorrow
-grapeseed oil
-vegan omegas,hyaluronic acid,and calcium magnesium supplement i take
-stomach starting to get a little flatter
-water
-giving up cereal
-getting all my reporting done
-clean teeth
-fashion
-watching TV episodes of show i like tonight on hulu
-laughing
-sunshine and the weather getting a little warmer
-W cat liking his little cat bed i bought for him recently.i bought it with him in mind and sure enough,he often uses it!
-sleep
-chile mocha latte veganized
-my awesome amazing trip coming up soon
-that R,ex best friend's gf has been leaving my mind more and more
-seroquel since it does help with paranoia and anxiety and causes no weight gain
-relaxation
-sweets
-that i can hit the gym tomorrow and catch up on phone calls
-my kind heart
-finding my folding table that went missing for a day
-seeing the law of attraction at work with certain past things such as my first sexual experience with R. There was a favorite movie at the time that I watched all the time. And,I just realized one thing that made me think back then that we "connected" is that he loved the movie,too. As it turns out,that experience ended up mirroring quite similarly movie parts of that. This only just hit me recently and kinda gives me understanding on how i manifested it. Life can feel so real,but law of attraction is always at work.

[buttercup]

-getting my gray sheetset in the mail
-throwing out trunk that was where time capsule stuff of ex best friend was
-sleep
-cleaning my room
-rest
-going to the dentist tomorrow and hopefully getting 2nd molar finally taken care of
-meditating
-doing some journaling and reflection on goals
-M being nice to me
-adding more money to my setaside account
-entertainment
-watching some episodes of TV show i like on hulu and just sort of vegging out today
-buddha statues
-the diffuser in my room and burning cinnamon today
-sugar. because it boosts my mood
-warmth
-hot coffee

[buttercup]

-grapeseed oil
-buying the thing i was saving up for today and starting a sub account for saving
-getting 2 of my checks today
-delicious warm lattes
-getting some beds for the cats and blankets today
-fashion
-my style
-lemon flavoring
-my leopard print cardigan
-my awesome new bedset
-rest
-seroquel
-episodes of TV show i like
-saving little T. I heard meowing and couldn't find where it was coming from and then finally i went to other side of house and found him meowing for help. apparently he was by himself and got seperated the other cats and that scared him. so cute,but i do worry about him.
-bringing S kitten and P cat in the house for a bit.
-going to therapy today
-doing mirror affirmations today

[buttercup]

-sleep
-toenail clippers
-dental floss
-meeting new people this year
-my style
-my leopard print cardigan
-yoga pants
-guys to like. seen M today. he iniated talking with me and seemed to be paying a lot of attention to me and his body language every time he was near me was very towards me and near me.i was a little less shy but also sort of spacey from meds. he never did call me though or text after the time before we worked together and he had asked for my number. I admitted to myself today that I do feel attraction to him. at first sight,i'm always like he's not attractive at all,but then shortly on,i'm thinking about him and thinking he is sexy. it's so weird. he had his hair styled nicely today.so far,i seem to see him once a month since we met. wonder if that pattern will repeat. maybe he'll text tomorrow since he just seen me.one thing i am trying to do now is to let go of expectations in my mind and just sort of surrender control and allow the universe to arrange things for me in a way that will be perfect. it's so much more fun that way.
-a photographer on the street snapping my picture while at working today.i was embarrassed but it was flattering
-the weather warming up a little bit
-little T the kitten. he makes me so happy.
-buying a heating pad online today for the cats and the great deal it was and free shipping
-fashion
-goals
-smiling
-animals
-going to yoga class tonight
-getting my chile mocha drink i love tonight
-being on time for work today
-a girl at work today giving me a lipbalm(she had several samples) when i had just happened to forget mine
-coffee
-my kind heart
-entertainment
-laughing
-TV episodes online on hulu i've been watching
-chemistry
-coca cola
-my weight starting to go down a little bit
-hope
-how beautiful my eyes are
-being attractive
-my chanel lipgloss
-my new bedset
-having money

[buttercup]

-that time of the month products
-sleep
-grapeseed oil
-having dental insurance
-my weight going down
-hot guys
-getting my sunglasses in the mail today
-new life experiences
-learning
-my outdoor cats
-the heating pad M's husband found working and the cats seeming to like it
-the weather being nicer today
-having a ride to work today
-buying myself a new shirt today i've been wanting for awhile
-having a little bit of alcohol today
-having the house to myself for a bit today which was rejuvenating
-entertainment
-comedy
-laughing
-the look guys often give me that makes me feel attractive
-seeing the thing on R's fb wasn't a negative thing like i thought,but actually a positive animal thing
-things that ease my jealousies
-coffee
-sweets
-buddha statues
-my mom sending me pics of my brother's cat together with her cat and also her dog. that made my day.

[buttercup]

-bananas
-water
-sleep
-not having to work tomorrow
-deciding to yes get my wisdom teeth removed
-opening up a savings account
-having a moment,feeling of power come to me that was very positive earlier
-vitamins i take
-coffee
-buddha statues
-coca cola
-dental floss
-being attractive
-my outdoor cat family
-the heating pad for the cats we have so far
-hearing the weather should hit the 70's this week
-my kind heart
-goals
-reflection
-that there's a cycling class tomorrow
-my weight going down
-healthy digestion
-makeup
-getting some cleaning and organizing done
-heels

[buttercup]

-making the appointment to get my wisdom teeth removed
-dental floss
-chile mocha latte
-my weight going down
-my appetite shrinking
-TV show episodes on hulu i've been watching
-going to cycling class today
-how beautiful my face is
-style
-hair barrettes
-the weather getting a little warmer
-my outdoor cats and how happy they make me and introducing them to ghee tonight. they seemed to like it except surprisingly mom cat wasn't super into it
-nightskies
-hot guys
-connections with others
-hyaluronic acid
-feeling like my eyesight has possibly gotten a little better(perhaps from the hyaluronic acid)
-healthy digestion
-water
-sleep
-cleaning up my room a little
-being fashionable
-goals
-being smart
-confirming more jobs today
-reflection
-realizing today that maybe a reason i slept with someone i did from 2009 had to do with subconscious reasoning to prove something because that person's mother insulted my looks and i had insecurity my ex bf found her attractive because of lies he told me. i was reflecting on the drama of life and i know me sleeping with that person wasn't revenge on my ex. it just felt like something i had to do. and there was several reasons for it,none of it revenge but the above may have been part of it. he was ex's best friend,or childhood best friend really,and his friends mother had made me very insecure in the past. life's drama is fascinating and bizarre.
-laughing
-quiet
-finding a way to clear more storage on my phone to get some apps back on
-M's friend D contacting me today
-an acquaintance,C contacting me today
-lipbalms
-realizing one reason i do what i do for work,is for the people i meet.i was contemplating if i had a mediocre job that's less then what i am qualified for and more "normal" what it might be like and i'd never meet anybody. somehow,in some way,despite all the lags and needing to work on being more in the flow,i really do think following your bliss and what feels right leads you to things best for you. there may be a lot i need to work on,but there's some things i need to remember. it always ends up being the people i meet who inspire me and remind me of my path and why i do what i do. G reminds me why I love working downtown and at the yoga studio and of other things as well. Even M from the main work i do nowadays,has kind of reminded me of why i do that work.
-

[buttercup]

-donating more money to animal charity i like
-getting some checks today
-buying myself something on my list of things i had wanted to manifest for awhile today
-having a dream with R from my past in it. Makes me wonder...it was a good dream.
-fashion
-lipbalms
-my weight going down
-my body tightening up
-going to welfare and getting my food card problem worked out
-beautiful weather today. it felt like summer.
-sleep
-candy
-pronoia
-my outside cat family
-going to cycling class today then working out at the gym. felt good to get a good sweat in.
-the internet
-my appetite shrinking a little
-my strength
-watching TV episodes of show i like online
-goals
-socks
-manifestation of desires
-vitamins
-feeling my will getting a little stronger
-monkey mind mental chatter about D's gf leaving my mind quite a bit
-getting more things organized
-coffee
-positive changes and transformation

[buttercup]

-drinking more water today
-my weight going down a little bit
-starting to feel a little more confident about my body again
-my abs starting to get sculpted
-dental floss
-candy
-M going to whole foods today
-taking the train for the first time in 3 years today and overcoming that obstacle and anxiety challenge and taking the first step towards a newer me. sounds silly,but i literally feel like a new person now,
-sunny weather today
-my outdoor cat family
-fashion
-M putting money in my account today
-the instant coffee M bought me that looks good
-lavender
-getting a nice draft done today of article and being almost finished
-my job tomorrow,even though i've had some mental blockages with that kind of work,i know it's good and i just need to keep pushing through
-all the delicious,yummy things the universe has in store for me in the future
-getting better at saving and now having two envelopes i use for saving. one account for near future and another sub account for near future within the same account.
-the internet
-lipbalms
-all the new things i can do now that ex is out of my life
-sleep
-standing up for myself with stupid work thing a boss wanted me to do
-going to pilates class today
-quiet
-doing some reading today
-laughing
-watching TV episodes on hulu

[buttercup]

-lavender
-that all the stuff of ex best friend doing things that were our things only makes him more obsessed with me and not over me. today i seen another of our songs,one i gave him in our first month he now seems to have given to her. it's actually pretty twisted..
-M coming in and vaccuming my room
-M giving me money for uber
-chile mocha coffee drink